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Spelling/grammar fix(es)
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* ''Series/{{Deputy}}'': Bishop comes out to their girlfriend as nonbinary. This ends the relationship because Genevieve isn't sure who Bishop is after this or the implications for her, having defined herself as a lesbian meaning woman who loves woman, and can't fit nonbinary into that.
to:
* ''Series/{{Deputy}}'': Bishop comes out to their girlfriend as nonbinary. This ends the relationship because Genevieve isn't sure who Bishop is after this or the implications for her, having defined herself as a lesbian as meaning a woman who loves woman, women, and so she can't fit nonbinary into that.
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* ''Film/BohemianRhapsody'': The movie features a scene where Freddie must come out to his wife Mary about being bisexual. She insists on breaking things off with him and insists to him that he's ''gay'', not bi, despite his attempts to clarify.
to:
* ''Film/BohemianRhapsody'': The movie features a scene where Freddie must come out to his wife Mary about being bisexual. She insists on breaking things off with him and insists to him that he's ''gay'', [[NoBisexuals not bi, bi]], despite his attempts to clarify.
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* ''Webcomic/RealLifeComics'': A major arc in 2020 was Maelyn coming out as a trans woman to her wife Liz, mirroring how the real Maelyn did the same.
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!Examples:
to:
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* ''Series/{{Deputy}}'': Bishop comes out to their girlfriend as nonbinary. This ends the relationship, because Genevieve isn't sure who Bishop is after this or the implications for her, having defined herself as a lesbian meaning woman who loves woman, and can't fit nonbinary into that.
to:
* ''Series/{{Deputy}}'': Bishop comes out to their girlfriend as nonbinary. This ends the relationship, relationship because Genevieve isn't sure who Bishop is after this or the implications for her, having defined herself as a lesbian meaning woman who loves woman, and can't fit nonbinary into that.
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Coming to terms with your own sexuality or gender identity can take a long time, and some people live a good portion of a typical life before figuring out who they are. Some characters don't realize they aren't straight until they have already gotten married or started a family.
to:
Coming to terms with your own sexuality or and/or gender identity can take a long time, and some people live a good portion of a typical life before figuring out who they are. Some characters don't realize they aren't straight until they have already gotten married or started a family.
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%% Image selected via crowner in the Image Suggestion thread: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1452266899092104700
%% https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/crowner.php?crowner_id=xyhe2y5s
%% Please do not change or remove without starting a new thread.
%%
[[quoteright:350:[[Webcomic/MyHusbandWasActuallyAWoman https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/wafuko_comes_out.png]]]]
%%
%% https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/crowner.php?crowner_id=xyhe2y5s
%% Please do not change or remove without starting a new thread.
%%
[[quoteright:350:[[Webcomic/MyHusbandWasActuallyAWoman https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/wafuko_comes_out.png]]]]
%%
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Alphabetizing
* ''Series/{{Deputy}}'': Bishop comes out to their girlfriend as nonbinary. This ends the relationship, because Genevieve isn't sure who Bishop is after this or the implications for her, having defined herself as a lesbian meaning woman who loves woman, and can't fit nonbinary into that.
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* ''Series/{{Deputy}}'': Bishop comes out to their girlfriend as nonbinary. This ends the relationship, because Genevieve isn't sure who Bishop is after this or the implications for her, having defined herself as a lesbian meaning woman who loves woman, and can't fit nonbinary into that.
to:
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None
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to:
* ''Series/{{Deputy}}'': Bishop comes out to their girlfriend as nonbinary. This ends the relationship, because Genevieve isn't sure who Bishop is after this or the implications for her, having defined herself as a lesbian meaning woman who loves woman, and can't fit nonbinary into that.
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None
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* ''Series/{{Fargo}}'': In Season 3, Chief Gloria Burgle is recently divorced from her husband who came out as gay to her. She remains friendly with him, as well as his new husband.
to:
* ''Series/{{Fargo}}'': ''Series/FargoSeasonThree'': In Season 3, Chief Gloria Burgle is recently divorced from her husband who came out as gay to her. She remains friendly with him, as well as his new husband.
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None
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[[AC:Jokes]]
* A closeted trans woman had come to the conclusion that she had to tell her wife the truth. This exchange occurred:
-->"Dear, I have bad news."\\
"So do I."\\
"Okay, you tell first."\\
"I'm a lesbian."\\
"...I have good news."
* A closeted trans woman had come to the conclusion that she had to tell her wife the truth. This exchange occurred:
-->"Dear, I have bad news."\\
"So do I."\\
"Okay, you tell first."\\
"I'm a lesbian."\\
"...I have good news."
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None
Changed line(s) 44 (click to see context) from:
* ''Webcomic/MyHusbandWasActuallyAWoman'' begins with Wafuko coming out to her cis wife as a trans woman.
to:
* ''Webcomic/MyHusbandWasActuallyAWoman'' begins with Wafuko coming out to her cis wife as a trans woman.woman; as it turns out, her wife is pansexual and has had other partners come out to her as trans in the past, resulting in her readily supporting Wafuko.
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Forgot to add that while it was in the TLP
Changed line(s) 1,2 (click to see context) from:
Coming to terms with your own sexuality can take a long time, and some people live a good portion of a typical life before figuring out who they are. Some characters don't realize they aren't straight until they have already gotten married or started a family.
to:
Coming to terms with your own sexuality sexuality or gender identity can take a long time, and some people live a good portion of a typical life before figuring out who they are. Some characters don't realize they aren't straight until they have already gotten married or started a family.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
* ''Film/BohemianRhapsody'': The movie features a scene where Freddie must come out to his wife, Mary, about being bisexual. She insists on breaking things off with him and insists to him that he's ''gay'', not bi, despite his attempts to clarify.
to:
* ''Film/BohemianRhapsody'': The movie features a scene where Freddie must come out to his wife, Mary, wife Mary about being bisexual. She insists on breaking things off with him and insists to him that he's ''gay'', not bi, despite his attempts to clarify.
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* ''Film/RocketMan1997'': The movie features a scene where Freddie must come out to his wife, Mary, about being bisexual. She insists on breaking things off with him and insists to him that he's ''gay'', not bi, despite his attempts to clarify.
* ''Film/{{Saved}}'': The plot is set off by Dean coming out to his longtime girlfriend Mary. She decides she has to save him from his homosexuality by having sex with him. It doesn't work and she gets pregnant as a result.
* ''Film/{{Saved}}'': The plot is set off by Dean coming out to his longtime girlfriend Mary. She decides she has to save him from his homosexuality by having sex with him. It doesn't work and she gets pregnant as a result.
to:
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* Double-subverted in the ''Literature/VorkosiganSaga'' with Aral Vorkosigan. Cordelia knew he was bisexual before she married him, but for a long time afterwards he was monogamous. Then in ''Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen,'' it was {{retcon}}ned that Aral had eventually taken Lieutenant Jole as a lover - and that Cordelia had taken it very calmly when it this was revealed. Her biggest concern was reassuring Simon Illyan that she wasn't going to take it badly.
to:
* Double-subverted in the ''Literature/VorkosiganSaga'' with Aral Vorkosigan. Cordelia knew he was bisexual before she married him, but for a long time afterwards he was monogamous. Then in ''Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen,'' it was {{retcon}}ned that Aral had eventually taken Lieutenant Jole as a lover - and that Cordelia had taken it very calmly when it this was revealed. Her biggest concern was reassuring Simon Illyan that she wasn't going to take it badly.
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* ''Series/HappilyDivorced'': Fran and Peter divorce after 18 years of marriage when he reveals to her that he is gay. But because of the economy they continue to live together.
to:
* ''Series/HappilyDivorced'': Fran and Peter divorce after 18 years of marriage when he reveals to her that he is gay. But because of the economy economy, they continue to live together.
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* ''Series/LawAndOrderSVU'' once featured a woman who, after having three children, realizes she was a lesbian and divorces her husband. In the episode proper, her new girlfriend gets accused of using their youngest daughter for child pornography.
to:
* ''Series/LawAndOrderSVU'' once featured a woman who, after having three children, realizes she was she's a lesbian and divorces her husband. In the episode proper, her new girlfriend gets accused of using their youngest daughter for child pornography.
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* ''Film/{{Rocketman}}'': The movie features a scene where Freddie must come out to his wife, Mary, about being bisexual. She insists on breaking things off with him and insists to him that he's ''gay'', not bi, despite his attempts to clarify.
to:
* ''Film/{{Rocketman}}'': ''Film/RocketMan1997'': The movie features a scene where Freddie must come out to his wife, Mary, about being bisexual. She insists on breaking things off with him and insists to him that he's ''gay'', not bi, despite his attempts to clarify.
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!!Adopted by Macron Notes
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Created from YKTTW
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!!Adopted by Macron Notes
Coming to terms with your own sexuality can take a long time, and some people live a good portion of a typical life before figuring out who they are. Some characters don't realize they aren't straight until they have already gotten married or started a family.
When they do come out to their spouse or long-term partner the reaction may vary. Their partner could be open and accepting or very distraught. Either way, the marriage or relationship usually ends up being dissolved and the two go their separate ways. If things end on good terms, the two characters might become AmicableExes.
This trope is often combined with NoBisexuals as most stories where the character comes out as gay don't attempt to explore the possibility that the newly out character could be bi instead of gay.
Can overlap with LateComingOut if they come out later in life and TheBeard if they got married to hide one spouse's homosexuality.
Subtrope of ComingOutStory.
----
!Examples:
[[AC:Anime & Manga]]
* In one chapter of ''Manga/PrivateActress'', a man hires Shiho to act as his mistress so his wife can file for a divorce on the grounds of him having an affair. Eventually, it turns out that he is actually gay and ''didn't'' have the courage to come out even to his own wife, instead choosing the convoluted roundabout way.
[[AC:Films -- Live-Action]]
* ''Film/BohemianRhapsody'': The movie features a scene where Freddie must come out to his wife, Mary, about being bisexual. She insists on breaking things off with him and insists to him that he's ''gay'', not bi, despite his attempts to clarify.
* ''Film/DrTAndTheWomen'': Dee Dee Travers is engaged to be married, but she invites her college roommate Marilyn as a bridesmaid. Dee Dee's younger sister, Connie, suspects the two women are {{Lipstick Lesbian}}s and cautions her father about this. Doctor Travers dismisses Connie's suspicions, but they prove true when the bride jilts her groom at the altar to run off with Marilyn.
* ''Film/MakingLove'': A Los Angeles producer discovers her husband has "strong feelings" for a male intern at the hospital where the husband is a staff physician. She doesn't take the news well at the outset.
* At the end of ''Film/OutAtTheWedding'', Jeannie comes out to her family, including her recently-wed husband. The two end up divorcing and the epilogue has Jeannie happily dating Risa.
* ''Film/{{Rocketman}}'': The movie features a scene where Freddie must come out to his wife, Mary, about being bisexual. She insists on breaking things off with him and insists to him that he's ''gay'', not bi, despite his attempts to clarify.
* ''Film/{{Saved}}'': The plot is set off by Dean coming out to his longtime girlfriend Mary. She decides she has to save him from his homosexuality by having sex with him. It doesn't work and she gets pregnant as a result.
[[AC:{{Literature}}]]
* ''Literature/TheAccursedKings'': Given the setting (14th century Europe), not so much coming out as showing the marriage was doomed from the start: When Isabelle of France is married to Edward II of England, he sleeps with her once, and even then he needed his male lover Hugh Despenser to get him pumped up for the deed. The resulting SexlessMarriage and constant humiliation by Hugh Despenser and his wife eventually lead to her taking a lover and having Edward killed.
* Double-subverted in the ''Literature/VorkosiganSaga'' with Aral Vorkosigan. Cordelia knew he was bisexual before she married him, but for a long time afterwards he was monogamous. Then in ''Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen,'' it was {{retcon}}ned that Aral had eventually taken Lieutenant Jole as a lover - and that Cordelia had taken it very calmly when it this was revealed. Her biggest concern was reassuring Simon Illyan that she wasn't going to take it badly.
[[AC:Live-Action TV]]
* One episode of ''Series/{{Donny}}'' opens with Donny interviewing two middle-aged couples where the husbands have only recently realized that they are gay.
* In ''Series/FamilyLaw2021'', Jerri came out as a trans woman to her wife and three kids some years before the start of the series. Her wife ultimately stuck with her, as did two of their kids, but one of their kids still refuses to speak with her.
* ''Series/{{Fargo}}'': In Season 3, Chief Gloria Burgle is recently divorced from her husband who came out as gay to her. She remains friendly with him, as well as his new husband.
* Just before the first episode of ''Series/{{Friends}}'', Ross and his wife divorce because she realizes she's a lesbian.
* ''Series/{{Gotham}}'': Barbara Kean is bisexual and was in a relationship with Renee Montoya before she became engaged to Jim Gordon. Barbara ends up revealing their past to Jim when Renee begins investigating him for the faked death of Oswald Cobblepot.
* The premise of ''Series/GraceAndFrankie'' is about two old women whose husbands leave them for each other. The revelation that they are gay despite decades of marriage is a surprise to both Grace and Frankie.
* ''Series/HappilyDivorced'': Fran and Peter divorce after 18 years of marriage when he reveals to her that he is gay. But because of the economy they continue to live together.
* In ''Series/HeartsAfire'', John's wife left him for their marriage therapist, a woman, shortly before the start of the series.
* ''Series/{{Intervention}}'': In S22 E18, Clayton's addiction stems from his parents' divorce after his dad came out as transgender.
* ''Series/LawAndOrderSVU'' once featured a woman who, after having three children, realizes she was a lesbian and divorces her husband. In the episode proper, her new girlfriend gets accused of using their youngest daughter for child pornography.
* One episode of ''Series/NewTricks'' dealt with a football (soccer) player who was trying to plant a story about him having an affair with a model in the press to avoid having to come out as gay. When he went to tell his wife that there was going to be a story in the tabloids about him, her reply was "is it about you being gay...".
* In ''Series/{{Southland}}'', we find out that the reason that John and Laurie Cooper divorced was because John came out as gay. They are still on friendly terms though.
[[AC:Theatre]]
* In ''Theatre/AngelsInAmerica'', Joe Pitt confesses to wife Harper long after she's started to suspect that he's "a homo" and has confronted him about it multiple times.
[[AC:Webcomics]]
* ''Webcomic/MyHusbandWasActuallyAWoman'' begins with Wafuko coming out to her cis wife as a trans woman.
* ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent'': Marten's father came out as gay and divorced his mother when he was ten years old. It was acrimonious at the time, but they settled as AmicableExes and, more than ten years later, Marten and his mother both [[https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2402 happily attend]] his father's wedding.
* In the background to ''Webcomic/UmlautHouse'', Rick's father came out on the same day that he did. He and his wife parted on somewhat decent terms.
[[AC:Western Animation]]
* Invoked in the ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'' episode "Dope and Faith", where Stan tries to ruin his new atheist friend's life so he can convert to Christianity out of desperation. One of Stan's schemes involves brainwashing his wife into being a lesbian so she can "come out" to him and leave with their kids.
----
Coming to terms with your own sexuality can take a long time, and some people live a good portion of a typical life before figuring out who they are. Some characters don't realize they aren't straight until they have already gotten married or started a family.
When they do come out to their spouse or long-term partner the reaction may vary. Their partner could be open and accepting or very distraught. Either way, the marriage or relationship usually ends up being dissolved and the two go their separate ways. If things end on good terms, the two characters might become AmicableExes.
This trope is often combined with NoBisexuals as most stories where the character comes out as gay don't attempt to explore the possibility that the newly out character could be bi instead of gay.
Can overlap with LateComingOut if they come out later in life and TheBeard if they got married to hide one spouse's homosexuality.
Subtrope of ComingOutStory.
----
!Examples:
[[AC:Anime & Manga]]
* In one chapter of ''Manga/PrivateActress'', a man hires Shiho to act as his mistress so his wife can file for a divorce on the grounds of him having an affair. Eventually, it turns out that he is actually gay and ''didn't'' have the courage to come out even to his own wife, instead choosing the convoluted roundabout way.
[[AC:Films -- Live-Action]]
* ''Film/BohemianRhapsody'': The movie features a scene where Freddie must come out to his wife, Mary, about being bisexual. She insists on breaking things off with him and insists to him that he's ''gay'', not bi, despite his attempts to clarify.
* ''Film/DrTAndTheWomen'': Dee Dee Travers is engaged to be married, but she invites her college roommate Marilyn as a bridesmaid. Dee Dee's younger sister, Connie, suspects the two women are {{Lipstick Lesbian}}s and cautions her father about this. Doctor Travers dismisses Connie's suspicions, but they prove true when the bride jilts her groom at the altar to run off with Marilyn.
* ''Film/MakingLove'': A Los Angeles producer discovers her husband has "strong feelings" for a male intern at the hospital where the husband is a staff physician. She doesn't take the news well at the outset.
* At the end of ''Film/OutAtTheWedding'', Jeannie comes out to her family, including her recently-wed husband. The two end up divorcing and the epilogue has Jeannie happily dating Risa.
* ''Film/{{Rocketman}}'': The movie features a scene where Freddie must come out to his wife, Mary, about being bisexual. She insists on breaking things off with him and insists to him that he's ''gay'', not bi, despite his attempts to clarify.
* ''Film/{{Saved}}'': The plot is set off by Dean coming out to his longtime girlfriend Mary. She decides she has to save him from his homosexuality by having sex with him. It doesn't work and she gets pregnant as a result.
[[AC:{{Literature}}]]
* ''Literature/TheAccursedKings'': Given the setting (14th century Europe), not so much coming out as showing the marriage was doomed from the start: When Isabelle of France is married to Edward II of England, he sleeps with her once, and even then he needed his male lover Hugh Despenser to get him pumped up for the deed. The resulting SexlessMarriage and constant humiliation by Hugh Despenser and his wife eventually lead to her taking a lover and having Edward killed.
* Double-subverted in the ''Literature/VorkosiganSaga'' with Aral Vorkosigan. Cordelia knew he was bisexual before she married him, but for a long time afterwards he was monogamous. Then in ''Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen,'' it was {{retcon}}ned that Aral had eventually taken Lieutenant Jole as a lover - and that Cordelia had taken it very calmly when it this was revealed. Her biggest concern was reassuring Simon Illyan that she wasn't going to take it badly.
[[AC:Live-Action TV]]
* One episode of ''Series/{{Donny}}'' opens with Donny interviewing two middle-aged couples where the husbands have only recently realized that they are gay.
* In ''Series/FamilyLaw2021'', Jerri came out as a trans woman to her wife and three kids some years before the start of the series. Her wife ultimately stuck with her, as did two of their kids, but one of their kids still refuses to speak with her.
* ''Series/{{Fargo}}'': In Season 3, Chief Gloria Burgle is recently divorced from her husband who came out as gay to her. She remains friendly with him, as well as his new husband.
* Just before the first episode of ''Series/{{Friends}}'', Ross and his wife divorce because she realizes she's a lesbian.
* ''Series/{{Gotham}}'': Barbara Kean is bisexual and was in a relationship with Renee Montoya before she became engaged to Jim Gordon. Barbara ends up revealing their past to Jim when Renee begins investigating him for the faked death of Oswald Cobblepot.
* The premise of ''Series/GraceAndFrankie'' is about two old women whose husbands leave them for each other. The revelation that they are gay despite decades of marriage is a surprise to both Grace and Frankie.
* ''Series/HappilyDivorced'': Fran and Peter divorce after 18 years of marriage when he reveals to her that he is gay. But because of the economy they continue to live together.
* In ''Series/HeartsAfire'', John's wife left him for their marriage therapist, a woman, shortly before the start of the series.
* ''Series/{{Intervention}}'': In S22 E18, Clayton's addiction stems from his parents' divorce after his dad came out as transgender.
* ''Series/LawAndOrderSVU'' once featured a woman who, after having three children, realizes she was a lesbian and divorces her husband. In the episode proper, her new girlfriend gets accused of using their youngest daughter for child pornography.
* One episode of ''Series/NewTricks'' dealt with a football (soccer) player who was trying to plant a story about him having an affair with a model in the press to avoid having to come out as gay. When he went to tell his wife that there was going to be a story in the tabloids about him, her reply was "is it about you being gay...".
* In ''Series/{{Southland}}'', we find out that the reason that John and Laurie Cooper divorced was because John came out as gay. They are still on friendly terms though.
[[AC:Theatre]]
* In ''Theatre/AngelsInAmerica'', Joe Pitt confesses to wife Harper long after she's started to suspect that he's "a homo" and has confronted him about it multiple times.
[[AC:Webcomics]]
* ''Webcomic/MyHusbandWasActuallyAWoman'' begins with Wafuko coming out to her cis wife as a trans woman.
* ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent'': Marten's father came out as gay and divorced his mother when he was ten years old. It was acrimonious at the time, but they settled as AmicableExes and, more than ten years later, Marten and his mother both [[https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2402 happily attend]] his father's wedding.
* In the background to ''Webcomic/UmlautHouse'', Rick's father came out on the same day that he did. He and his wife parted on somewhat decent terms.
[[AC:Western Animation]]
* Invoked in the ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'' episode "Dope and Faith", where Stan tries to ruin his new atheist friend's life so he can convert to Christianity out of desperation. One of Stan's schemes involves brainwashing his wife into being a lesbian so she can "come out" to him and leave with their kids.
----
