History Funny / WolfensteinIITheNewColossus

* The existence of the Wolfstone 3D game aboard Eva's Hammer. Which the resistance is fond of playing. B.J. can play it, and the final boss is none other than his own babymama Anya. Other bosses include Caroline and Bombate, who is represented as an Englishman presumably because the Nazis don't want to openly admit an African freedom fighter is one of the people kicking their asses.
** To be fair, it would be hard to pass up a game that's about 30 years ahead of its time, even if it was about killing your friends. It would be like someone being able to play VideoGame/WolfensteinTheNewOrder on the day that VideoGame/BeyondCastleWolfenstein was released.

* One of the things you can find on Venus while looking for the ODIN codes is a Commander playing a [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theremin theremin]]. Which B.J. can interact with.

** In the span of about 4 minutes and 30 seconds, Hitler demonstrated his unbelievable senility by nearly forgetting about the casting, waving a loaded gun around in the actor's faces, emptying an entire magazine into one of the actors for calling him "Mr. Hitler", leading Hitler to believe that he's a Jewish spy (and for coming from Arizona), taking a piss in an ice bucket in full view of the actors, missing said bucket several times (and revealing he's urinating blood!) as he rambles on about Jewish and communist infiltrators and giving a completely serious lecture about his book, keeping on delivering that lecture while having difficulties finishing his piss, puking on the floor in the middle of a grand speech about his movie, leaning on Helene's breasts and thinking that she's his mother in full view of the actors, asking a disguised B.J. ''to act as himself'', then chastising him for not being able ''[[YourCostumeNeedsWork to grasp the mind of B.J. Blazkowicz]]'', falling asleep in the middle of his ranting lecture about B.J. on the middle of the floor, and snapping out of his rest to literally shoot an actor [[ShotInTheAss in the ass]] when he is unhappy with his performance. When B.J. is finally fed up with all this and brutally kills a Nazi soldier, ''Hitler believes all of that is B.J. acting'' and giddily chooses B.J. Blazkowicz as the perfect actor to play B.J. Blazkowicz, not before nonchalantly shooting an actor who's performance he congratulated earlier. '''Hitler simply does not give a fuck about anything'''.

* The German version of the game, as expected, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTQ1eBiRRRo censors]] Hitler. How did they do that? [[PaperThinDisguise By simply removing his mustache, having the others call him "Mein Kanzler"]][[note]][[EvilChancellor My Chancellor]] -- [[GeniusBonus and his official title WAS Chancellor of Germany]][[/note]] [[PaperThinDisguise instead of "Mein Führer"]][[note]]"[[JustTheFirstCitizen My Leader]]"[[/note]], [[PaperThinDisguise having Hitler's ranting about Jews changed to ranting about traitors, and changing his name from Adolf Hitler...]] ''to "[[LouisCypher Mr. Heiler]]"'', [[PaperThinDisguise and leaving everything else completely intact]]. The people who did the censoring must have thought that this depiction of Hitler is so outlandish that people probably wouldn't recognize him without the name and the 'stache.

*** Later on collectable diary entries from at least one officer reveal that the Nazis are just using the Klansmen as volunteer cannonfodder. In fact the various Diaries reveal more than one Nazi officer is just itching for Changeover Day to come already so they an excuse to kill the Klan off once and for all. Why? Because even the Nazis, the literal Nazis, find their blind idiot racism and outright ignorance about dang near everything extremely obnoxious.

** In the span of about 4 minutes and 30 seconds, Hitler demonstrated his unbelievable senility by nearly forgetting about the casting, waving a loaded gun around in the actor's faces, emptying an entire magazine into one of the actors for calling him "Mr. Hitler", leading Hitler to believe that he's a Jewish spy (and for coming from Arizona), taking a piss in an ice bucket in full view of the actors, missing said bucket several times (Revealing he's urinating blood!) as he rambles on about Jewish infiltrators and giving a completely serious lecture about his book, keeping on delivering that lecture while having difficulties finishing his piss, puking on the floor in the middle of a grand speech about his movie, leaning on Helene's breasts and thinking that she's his mother in full view of the actors, asking a disguised B.J. ''to act as himself'', then chastising him for not being able ''[[YourCostumeNeedsWork to grasp the mind of B.J. Blazkowicz]]'', falling asleep in the middle of his ranting lecture about B.J. on the middle of the floor, and snapping out of his rest to literally shoot an actor [[ShotInTheAss in the ass]] when he is unhappy with his performance. When B.J. is finally fed up with all this and brutally kills a Nazi soldier, ''Hitler believes all of that is B.J. acting'' and giddily chooses B.J. Blazkowicz as the perfect actor to play B.J. Blazkowicz, not before nonchalantly shooting an actor who's performance he congratulated earlier. '''Hitler simply does not give a fuck about anything'''.

* Spesh shows up again as [[BrickJoke B.J.'s lawyer after B.J. gets captured]], offering up a foolproof escape plan - make it look like B.J. attacked him and then kill the responding guard. To sell the bit, Spesh breaks his own nose by headbutting the steel table... [[RealityEnsues then quietly whimpers in pain as he realizes just how bad it hurts]].

** It should be noted that Frau Helene isn't a character made up for the game. She's modeled after [[Film/TriumphOfTheWill Leni Riefenstahl]], a RealLife filmmaker who made Nazi propaganda films (and, [[OldShame regrettably]], revolutionized modern cinema) - it's darkly humorous seeing her relegated to little more than Hitler's carer who directs cheesy {{B Movie}}s written by the mad Führer.

* The existence of the Wolfstone 3D game aboard Eva's Hammer. [[MexicansLoveSpeedyGonzales Which the resistance is fond of playing.]] B.J. can play it, and the final boss is none other than his own babymama Anya. Other bosses include Caroline and Bombate, who is represented as an Englishman presumably because the Nazis don't want to openly admit an African freedom fighter is one of the people kicking their asses.

!Advertisements (In-Universe)

!The Game

* The first part of the New York mission ends with BJ riding a subway train he activated... only to turn out the controls are broken and he can't stop it from crashing.

** Made even funnier when the subway car plows into the platform and up the staircase to the surface launching BJ in the air. The next mission begins with him about to hit the ground.

* During the same portion, the Kill House obstacle course opens up in the shooting range. The achievement for getting the best time is "[[SecondPlaceIsForLosers First Loser]]", as the first-place time is an astounding ''23 seconds''. What puts it here is that [[spoiler: it was set by Shoshana, Set's pet squirrel-monkey/cat!]]
* While disguised as a firefighter in Roswell, BJ encounters a Nazi officer at Papa Joe's All-American Diner -- which is covered with Wanted posters and whose TV above the bar keeps flashing BJ's face. The officer, who doesn't seem to notice ''any'' of it, only comments that he thinks he's seen his "very Aryan face" before, asking him which fire station he works at. [[spoiler: When he finally gets up to leave, [[LateToThePunchline he spots the poster right in his line of sight]]. Cue an OhCrap reaction from the Nazi, and him desperately pulling out his pistol -- this time, however, he doesn't see that Speshie has drawn a gun from behind the counter, and gets his head blown apart. [[FailedASpotCheck Some guys just aren't very observant]].]]

** Immediately after this, Super Spesh demands a password from BJ. When BJ tells him that Grace never gave him a password, [[ConspiracyTheorist Spesh accuses BJ, at gunpoint, of being a reptilian.]] When BJ threatens to beat him senseless with his own gun, Spesh laughs and says he was just fucking with him.

** Super Spesh [[https://youtu.be/KiKEve9GMbE has a long rant about the secret Area 52 base]] and the secret alien technology there. [[spoiler:BJ makes one attempt to tell him it's not aliens. It's an ancient Jewish techno-conspiracy. He's wearing one of their super-suits. He doesn't get past "not aliens" before giving up.]]

*** After Spesh's rant, BJ calmly places the fire extinguisher in front of him.
--->'''BJ:''' So, I got a nuke in this here fire extinguisher.\\

* Spesh shows up again [[spoiler: as [[BrickJoke BJ's lawyer after BJ gets captured]]]], offering up a foolproof escape plan - make it look like BJ attacked him and then kill the responding guard. To sell the bit, Spesh breaks his own nose by headbutting the steel table... [[RealityEnsues then quietly whimpers in pain as he realizes just how bad it hurts]].

* Soon after B.J.'s comrades successfully enact the plan to [[spoiler:salvage B.J.'s decapitated head]], we see two Nazi soldiers finding the body of a comrade, previously killed by the group to access the room where the plan has taken place. While they comment that he's indeed dead, they don't notice an entire group of people coming out behind them. Cue Max giving one a [[Film/ThePrincessBride Fezzik-esque]] tap on the head without even breaking stride. then the rest of the group shooting them, just as casually. Even funnier is that the soldier Max kronks over the head does not react to being shot, implying that Max ''one-shot him with the fist to the head''.
* Also a TearJerker, but [[spoiler:Grace asks B.J. what Super Spesh's LastWords were. When she finds them out, she can't help but [[ActuallyPrettyFunny share a laugh]]]].
* During the mission in New Orleans, Anya rings up BJ to report, and then admits that the pregnancy is making her a little... [[AllWomenAreLustful excited]]. Then Fergus/Wyatt clears his throat, [[IsThisThingStillOn and she asks if everyone else was on the same frequency.]]

* [[spoiler: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Jvo6UawNHw The casting scene]]. ''Oh my bloody God the casting scene''. The Nazi are auditioning four actors to portray B.J in their propaganda movie. The problem? B.J himself is there, masquerading as one of the actor. And '''Hitler''''s there, too, of all the things on Venus! HilarityEnsues.]]
** Before the sequence even starts, BJ can look around the room, which includes a cue card letting you know [[VeryLooselyBasedOnATrueStory just what kind of portrayal]] [[HeroWithBadPublicity BJ is going to have]].

** If you missed that, you certainly won't miss the script with all the subtlety of a neon freight train that you have to look through to proceed which paints B.J. as being so completely evil it's ''absurd.'' With writing like that, one has to wonder if this movie would be getting made at all [[spoiler: if Hitler weren't the director.]]

** [[spoiler: In the span of about 4 minutes and 30 seconds, Hitler demonstrated his unbelievable senility by nearly forgetting about the casting, waving a loaded gun around in the actor's faces, emptying an entire magazine into one of the actors for calling him "Mr. Hitler", leading Hitler to believe that he's a Jewish spy (and for coming from Arizona), taking a piss in an ice bucket in full view of the actors, missing said bucket several times (Revealing he's urinating blood!) as he rambles on about Jewish infiltrators and giving a completely serious lecture about his book, keeping on delivering that lecture while having difficulties finishing his piss, puking on the floor in the middle of a grand speech about his movie, leaning on Helene's breasts and thinking that she's his mother in full view of the actors, asking a disguised B.J. ''to act as himself'', then chastising him for not being able ''[[YourCostumeNeedsWork to grasp the mind of B.J. Blazkowicz]]'', falling asleep in the middle of his ranting lecture about B.J. on the middle of the floor, and snapping out of his rest to literally shoot an actor [[ShotInTheAss in the ass]] when he is unhappy with his performance. When B.J. is finally fed up with all this and brutally kills a Nazi soldier, ''Hitler believes all of that is B.J. acting'' and giddily chooses B.J. Blazkowicz as the perfect actor to play B.J. Blazkowicz, not before nonchalantly shooting an actor who's performance he congratulated earlier. '''Hitler simply does not give a fuck about anything'''.]]
** [[spoiler: It should be noted that Frau Helene isn't a character made up for the game. She's modeled after [[Film/TriumphOfTheWill Leni Riefenstahl]], a RealLife filmmaker who made Nazi propaganda films (and, [[OldShame regrettably]], revolutionized modern cinema) - it's darkly humorous seeing her relegated to little more than Hitler's carer who directs cheesy {{B Movie}}s written by the mad Führer.]]
*** [[spoiler:Hitler shoots an actor in the head for the heinous sin of being from Arizona. Then he shoots him eight more times. Then he turns back to Helene, who gives him a bright smile as she calmly [[CrossesTheLineTwice strikes his name off the list.]] ]]
*** [[spoiler: Said actor is UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan.]]
*** [[spoiler: The very idea of Hitler killing Reagan in general.]]
** [[spoiler:Not only is B.J. [[BadBadActing an absolutely terrible actor]], the lines written on his hand are hopelessly smudged, leading to options like "I will muffin your ripe peach, too".]]
** [[spoiler:The actor that follows BJ gives a much more convincing performance, and Helene seems a bit...''too'' into the idea of being [[TooKinkyToTorture raped by a man roleplaying as William Joseph Blazkowicz]].]]
** [[spoiler:Hitler raves during his speech about Blazkowicz's psychology that his mental level is still that of a child. Cue an airbrushed slide of B.J. riding a tricycle with an absurd grin on his face.]]
*** [[spoiler: After working himself up ranting about B.J. Blazkowicz, an exhausted Hitler has to curl up on the floor. When B.J. is called up to his "audition", he has a chance to literally KickTheSonOfABitch - [[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing and doing so gets you an achievement]]![[note]]"[[JustForPun Kick It!]]"[[/note]] Granted, it also nets you a NonStandardGameOver as the guards gun you down, but most people would say it was WorthIt.]]
** [[spoiler:B.J.'s act for the fight scene isn't even remotely an act. He forces the guards gun under his chin, makes him blow his own brains out, takes the rifle, uses it to fill the corpse full of lead, brutally beats the corpses face in with it, throws the rifle against the glass, ignores the cue card, and glares at everyone in the room before letting his contempt and malice for the Nazis out. The best part of it all is that Hitler's reaction is looking and sounding like he's having the most transcendent experience of his life.]]
** [[spoiler: Hitler's response is to [[AllPartOfTheShow compliment B.J. on his performance.]]]]
*** To be clear, [[spoiler: Hitler first declares that B.j. was born to play the part ([[AsHimself of B.J.]]), and proceeds to proclaim that B.J. will be his Blazcowicz.]]
** [[spoiler:After Hitler decides that B.J. is the man for the job, he shoots the one remaining other actor. Having seen two actors get shot at this point, the third doesn't seem at all surprised or upset, and just resignedly slumps to the floor.]]
** And for added BlackComedy, not long afterwards you can find a couple Nazis in a hall talking about [[spoiler: the movie and one of the famous actors that had been called up there]] in the present tense. What's just down the hall from them in a bloody box? [[spoiler: [[FailedASpotCheck The bodies of said actor and the other two poor bastards murdered and dumped callously by Hitler.]]]]
** Also, did we forget to mention that [[spoiler: this whole scene takes place on a ''Nazi Cloud City'' hovering over ''Venus''?!]] Our bad.

*** Max no-selling B.J.'s punch, and then knocking him out with one punch in a joke fight. [[spoiler:Doubles as a Moment of Awesome when you remember that this is '''post-transplant''' B.J.]]
** Set Roth vomiting in the jar used for [[spoiler: B.J.'s severed head]], then passing out.

** Set Roth got so drunk that in the scene with BJ and Max punching each other, he's holding his bottle upside down (with no cap). It's a FunnyBackgroundEvent and he doesn't seem to realize it until he tries to take a drink and realizes the bottle has gone empty, ''while it's still upside down''.

* The German version of the game, as expected, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTQ1eBiRRRo censors]] [[spoiler: Hitler]]. How did they do that? [[spoiler: [[PaperThinDisguise By simply removing his mustache, having the others call him "Mein Kanzler"]][[note]][[EvilChancellor My Chancellor]] -- [[GeniusBonus and his official title WAS Chancellor of Germany]][[/note]] [[PaperThinDisguise instead of "Mein Führer"]][[note]]"[[JustTheFirstCitizen My Leader]]"[[/note]], [[PaperThinDisguise having Hitler's ranting about Jews changed to ranting about traitors, and changing his name from Adolf Hitler...]] ''to "[[LouisCypher Mr. Heiler]]"'', [[PaperThinDisguise and leaving everything else completely intact]]. The people who did the censoring must have thought that this depiction of Hitler is so outlandish that people probably wouldn't recognize him without the name and the 'stache.]]

* A short, easily-missed moment near the ending: [[spoiler: Frau Engel appears on a talkshow where she lies through her teeth about Blazkowicz. If the player turns around on one of the gantries above the studio and looks at the seating area below they'll see that there ''is no audience'' - they're all cardboard cutouts, and all the audience applause and laughter is canned!]]
** Around the same time, remember how [[spoiler: Hitler kept raving about how he'd personally killed BJ? Well, you can find a postcard from him to Engel detailing [[VideoGame/Wolfenstein3D how he'd crushed BJ's head while piloting]] a MiniMecha of Deathshead's design. Yes, Hitler [[BelievingTheirOwnLies believes the movie is how it happened]].]]

** [[spoiler:When Set and the others are getting ready to transplant BJ's head onto the supersoldier body, she takes the opportunity to look at BJ in his jar. While purring.]]
* When [[spoiler:Spesh fails to rescue BJ with a transparently bad story and shaky plan, he gets shot in the head. Engel and her men break out laughing [[LampshadeHanging at the absurdity of it all. How could the Resistance possibly think that would work]]?]]
* The existence of the Wolfstone 3D game aboard Eva's Hammer. [[MexicansLoveSpeedyGonzales Which the resistance is fond of playing.]] BJ can play it, and the final boss is none other than his own babymama Anya. Other bosses include Caroline and Bombate, who is represented as an Englishman presumably because the Nazis don't want to openly admit an African freedom fighter is one of the people kicking their asses.

!The DLC
* As Gunslinger Joe is escaping the facility, one of the objectives is 'Find a way out'. After stumbling upon the [[spoiler:laboratory/morgue]], the objective changes to 'Definitely find a way out'.

!Meta and Fan-created

-->'''BJ''': "Let's give these Nazis a fisting they ''won't'' enjoy!"
* Let's just say that this game was promoted and released amid a [[Administrivia/RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgment pretty contentious time in American domestic politics.]] This game features our hero fighting Nazis, [[https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/mbj9xv/the-alt-right-thinks-wolfenstein-the-new-colossus-is-racist-to-white-people which folks in some circles interpreted as anti-white propaganda because it had you killing Nazis, who happened to be white.]] Some snarky internet commentators pointed out that the Wolfenstein games didn't ''recently'' become about killing Nazis, and anyone interested in them was really honestly expected to ''know'' that.

** You *could* produce your identification papers for said officer when asked... or, by pressing the melee button instead of the action button, you could just brain him with the fire extinguisher instead.

** [[spoiler: In the span of about 4 minutes and 30 seconds, Hitler demonstrated his unbelievable senility by nearly forgetting about the casting, waving a loaded gun around in the actor's faces, emptying an entire magazine into one of the actors (Ronald Reagan) for calling him "Mr. Hitler", leading Hitler to believe that he's a Jewish spy (and for coming from Arizona), taking a piss in an ice bucket in full view of the actors, missing said bucket several times (Revealing he's urinating blood!) as he rambles on about Jewish infiltrators and giving a completely serious lecture about his book, keeping on delivering that lecture while having difficulties finishing his piss, puking on the floor in the middle of a grand speech about his movie, leaning on Helene's breasts and thinking that she's his mother in full view of the actors, asking a disguised B.J. ''to act as himself'', then chastising him for not being able ''[[YourCostumeNeedsWork to grasp the mind of B.J. Blazkowicz]]'', falling asleep in the middle of his ranting lecture about B.J. on the middle of the floor, and snapping out of his rest to literally shoot an actor [[ShotInTheAss in the ass]] when he is unhappy with his performance. When B.J. is finally fed up with all this and brutally kills a Nazi soldier, ''Hitler believes all of that is B.J. acting'' and giddily chooses B.J. Blazkowicz as the perfect actor to play B.J. Blazkowicz, not before nonchalantly shooting an actor who's performance he congratulated earlier. '''Hitler simply does not give a fuck about anything'''.]]

*** [[spoiler: Said actor is Ronald Reagan.]]

'''Soldier:''' No, that was terrible! You're butchering my beautiful language! It's "Danke Schön", verdamnt -- say it!\\

'''Soldier:''' Incorrect! ''Danke Schön''!\\

-->'''BJ''': "Let's give these Nazis a fisting they ''won't'' enjoy!"

'''Commandant:''' <Oh... I see, General.> ''(Long beat)'' <...Hhhhow?>\\

'''Engel:''' <God in Heaven, are you stupid, man?! He's not leading anybody! ''[[OneManArmy He is by himself]]''!>\\

*** Later on collectable diary entries from at least one officer reveal that the Nazis are just using the Klansmen as volunteer cannonfodder. In fact the various Diaries reveal more then one Nazi is just itching for changeover day to come already so they an excuse to kill the klan off once and for all. Why? Because even the Nazis, the literal Nazis, find their blind idiot racism and outright ignorance about dang near everything extremely obnoxious.

** When B.J. is walking around Roswell in disguise, he comes across two members of the KKK, Jeb and Wayne, who are accosted by a Nazi soldier. He passive-aggressively chats with them for a while, until [[GrammarNazi he blows his cool when they can't get even the simplest German phrase right]].

** Blitzman's RoguesGallery of American icons: a giant walking Statue of Liberty, a well-muscled Uncle Sam, the 'Illegal Eagle', and a guy wearing the Liberty Bell on his head.

-->'''Grace:''' One time, I was so pissed, I thought there was a family of mice living behind my eye patch. I named them Fionulla, Prentis and Ridgewell.\\

-->'''Grace:''' One time, I was so pissed, I thought there was a family of mice living behind my eye patch. named them Fionulla, Prentis and Ridgewell.\\

* One of the things you can find on Venus while looking for the ODIN codes is a [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theremin theremin]]. Which B.J. can interact with.

'''Commandant:''' <But one single man, General... surely our security...>\\