History Funny / Warhammer40000

** Then there's the story of the ork Warboss who entered the Warp, came out ''before'' he entered, and then ''tracked down and killed his past self because he wanted two copies of his favorite gun''. The ork army was so confused that they called off their WAAAGH!.

* The entirety of the CiaphasCain series.
** Also a bit of a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming, because it shows that even a CrapsackWorld with everything trying to kill you can be funny.

** The only thing more funny than Ork fluff is ''playing'' as an Ork, provided you're the sort that isn't [[SeriousBusiness overly stern]], just happy leaving things up to the fickle hands of fate (and the dice gods). Rolling out dozens and dozens of dice for a single round of attacks alone can be a hysterical thrill if you get enough to do them all at once, and just seeing the mind-breaking ([[CrackIsCheaper and often expensive]]) Kustom Konversions to models is equal parts funny and awesome; while far from tournament legal, imagine a Tonka Truck bulldozer with a "salvaged" Leman Russ cannon glued to the top and various spikey bitz all around... Oh and painted red to go faster, of course.

** "Orks are stupid[[hottip:+: False]]. [[BoisterousBruiser brittle-boned and feeble]], eldar are [[TheChessmaster cowardly, cynical]] and sport archaic and ineffective weaponry, tyranids are [[HiveMind mindless]], half blind and confused by sudden movements."

** It got erased by newer editions, but one of their weapons were bombs that were guided by enthusiastic Snotlings, DoctorStrangelove style. Snotlings who'd only realize that there was a little problem with that plan when the bomb was almost hitting its target.

** "Orks are stupid[[False. [[BoisterousBruiser brittle-boned and feeble]], eldar are [[TheChessmaster cowardly, cynical]] and sport archaic and ineffective weaponry, tyranids are [[HiveMind mindless]], half blind and confused by sudden movements."

** Or [[BlatantLies the captions under the illustrations]]. "Ork weapons are extremely crude and prone to misfires or jamming." [[hottip:+: Maybe true, but it's hard for an axe to misfire.]] "Tyranid weapons are formed of living tissues,[[hottip:+: True.]] they often fall apart." [[hottip:+: ''Not'' true.]] "Eldar technology is antiquated,[[hottip:+: Technically, true.]] Eldar craftsmanship is inferior to our own."[[hottip:+: Haha, no.]] "Beware the tau - they'll sacrifice your babies to their gods!"[[hottip:+: The Tau are the only major race with no measurable Warp presence and, therefore, no chance of gods.]]

Though a bleak and horrifying future, {{Warhammer 40000}} is not without humor. Usually of the gallows kind.

* From the Dark Eldar 5th Edition Codex: "Asdrubael Vect tricks his would-be rival Archon Kelithresh into opening a casket that has ostensibly been presented as a tithe. Held precariously in the collapsing field of the casket is the unstable essence of a black hole. Kelithresh's entire realm is plunged into a yawning, howling, vortex."

** It got erased by newer editions, but one of their weapons were bombs that were guided by an enthusiastic Snotling. Who'd only realize when the bomb was almost hitting its target that there was a little problem with that plan.

* No mention of the Orks yet? The comic relief army of the universe is rife with hilarity. This tropers favourite being the description of the Ork Pulsa Rokkit from the Apocalypse Reload expansion, which describes the warhead as a device that "generates and unstable forcefeild bordering on contradictory physics"..."The orks like to encourage [its] destabilistation by loading it into a missile and firing it at the enemy"

** "Orks are stupid[[hottip:+:Mostly true, admittedly. [[GeniusBruiser Mostly]]. [[BoisterousBruiser brittle-boned and feeble]], eldar are [[TheChessmaster cowardly, cynical]] and sport archaic and ineffective weaponry, tyranids are [[HiveMind mindless]], half blind and confused by sudden movements."

** "Orks are stupid[[hottip:+:Mostly true, admittedly. [[GeniusBruiser Mostly.]].]] [[BoisterousBruiser brittle-boned and feeble]], eldar are [[TheChessmaster cowardly, cynical]] and sport archaic and ineffective weaponry, tyranids are [[HiveMind mindless]], half blind and confused by sudden movements."

** "Orks are stupid, [[BoisterousBruiser brittle-boned and feeble]], eldar are [[TheChessmaster cowardly, cynical]] and sport archaic and ineffective weaponry, tyranids are [[HiveMind mindless]], half blind and confused by sudden movements."

** Pretty much any way [[MagnificentBastard Vect]] gets rid of his enemies. The death of High Archon Kraillath, killed by a "stray blast from a dark lance". ''"Stray"'' blast from a ''dark lance''.

*** You know, maybe recite it MENTALLY. 'Cos the Emperor protects.
*** Average ''stereotype'' Guard IQ says they'll misinterpret it to mean out loud like that troper did.
**** The Guard is smarter than you think. If you actually flip to the back of the book and look for the Litany of Stealth, you will find that no such Litany is present. In other words, when you're trying to sneak up on an enemy scout to kill him before he can raise an alarm, shut the warp up!
**** It DOES exist, it's just called the [[Quotes/WithCatlikeTread Prayer of Invisibility]] (and they tell you to whisper it).

** Let's not forget the best part in the whole book, the lower half of Page 56 is a blank square with the words "KEEP THIS SPACE CLEAR. DO NOT DEFACE. '''ON PAIN OF DEATH'''"

** Note that the Guard are well aware of how useless this "information" is; in the novel Fifteen Hours they are shown noting that the only thing that the primer is good for is as toillet paper!

* Pretty much any way [[MagnificentBastard Vect]] gets rid of his enemies. The death of High Archon Kraillath, killed by a "stray blast from a dark lance". ''"Stray"'' blast from a ''dark lance''.

** Or [[BlatantLies the captions under the illustrations]]. "Ork weapons are extremely crude and prone to misfires or jamming." [[hottip:+: Maybe true, but it's hard for an axe to misfire.]] "Tyranid weapons are formed of living tissues,[[hottip:+: True.]] they often fall apart." [[hottip:+: ''Not'' true.]] "Eldar technology is antiquated,[[hottip:+: Technically, true.]] Eldar craftsmanship is inferior to our own."[[hottip:+: Haha, no.]] "Beware the tau - they'll sacrifice your babies to their gods!"

* From the Dark Eldar 5th Edition Codex: "Asdrubael Vect tricks his would-be rival Archon Kelithresh into opening a casket that has ostensibly been presented as a tithe. Held precariously in the collapsing field of the casket is the unstable essence of a black hole. Kelithresh's entire realm is plunged into a yawning, howling, vortex."

* From the Dark Eldar 5th Edition Codex: Asdrubael Vect tricks his would-be rival Archon Kelithresh into opening a casket that has ostensibly been presented as a tithe. Held precariously in the collapsing field of the casket is the unstable essence of a black hole. Kelithresh's entire realm is plunged into a yawning, howling, vortex.

* The NightLords Novel ''Soul Hunter'' has First Claw marine Cyrion is a DeadpanSnarker of such magnificent quality. During a deployment to besiege a Forge City, the squad leader [[spoiler: Talos suffers a seizure and psychic vision and they abort their drop til he recovers. When the Exalted demands that they go into battle, Cyrion sarcastically comments that the Squad Gunship is still available and the Exalted can use that if he wants a closer look.]]

*** You know, maybe recite it MENTALLY. Cos the emperor protects.

*** Considering some of the things that Guardsmen have to fight, this is actually sound advice.

** Or [[BlatantLies the captions under the illustrations]]. "Ork weapons are extremely crude and prone to misfires or jamming." [[hottip:+: Maybe true.]] "Tyranid weapons are formed of living tissues,[[hottip:+: True.]] they often fall apart." [[hottip:+: ''Not'' true.]] "Eldar technology is antiquated,[[hottip:+: Technically, true.]] Eldar craftsmanship is inferior to our own."[[hottip:+: Haha, no.]] "Beware the tau - they'll sacrifice your babies to their gods!"

**** It DOES exist, it's just called the Prayer of Invisibility (and they tell you to whisper it).

** Or [[BlatantLies the captions under the illustrations]]. "Ork weapons are extremely crude and prone to misfires or jamming." "Tyranid weapons are formed of living tissues, they often fall apart." "Eldar technology is antiquated, Eldar craftsmanship is inferior to our own." "Beware the tau - they'll sacrifice your babies to their gods!"

* [[WithCatlikeTread "Recite the Litany of Stealth to avoid being heard."]]

** Also a bit of a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming, because it shows that even a CrapsackWorld with everything trying to kill you can be funny.

* The entirety of the CiaphasCain series.

Nothing here. Considering this is the origin for GrimDark, should that really surprise you?