History Funny / VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines

28th Apr '18 7:31:26 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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-->'''Milligan:''' The moon... Yes, yes, the moon! (starting to laugh) I have to catch the moon! I must hold her, I must hold her in my arms... I must tell her how much I adore her glow, her glow! Out of my way! The moon!

to:

-->'''Milligan:''' --->'''Milligan:''' The moon... Yes, yes, the moon! (starting to laugh) I have to catch the moon! I must hold her, I must hold her in my arms... I must tell her how much I adore her glow, her glow! Out of my way! The moon!
27th Apr '18 3:49:42 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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-->'''PC''': ''(About Johansen's whereabouts)'' And you worked all that out by sniffing around?\\
'''Beckett''': [[HighAltitudeInterrogation Actually, there were two hunters on the roof of the building opposite the hotel who were positively delighted to tell me everything they knew-- provided I stop dangling them headfirst over the side.]]

to:

-->'''PC''': ''(About --->'''PC:''' ''(about Johansen's whereabouts)'' And you worked all that out by sniffing around?\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' [[HighAltitudeInterrogation Actually, there were two hunters on the roof of the building opposite the hotel who were positively delighted to tell me everything they knew-- knew -- provided I stop dangling them headfirst over the side.]]



-->'''Beckett''': ...And I suspect most Kindred in this city would love to sink their stakes or teeth into its imagined occupant. If indeed rocketing it to the moon was out of the question.

to:

-->'''Beckett''': ...--->'''Beckett:''' ...And I suspect most Kindred in this city would love to sink their stakes or teeth into its imagined occupant. If indeed rocketing it to the moon was out of the question.



-->'''PC''': What do you think's inside?
-->'''Beckett''': Put your ear to it-- I'll shake it and you tell me what you think's inside.

to:

-->'''PC''': --->'''PC:''' What do you think's inside?
-->'''Beckett''':
inside?\\
'''Beckett:'''
Put your ear to it-- it -- I'll shake it and you tell me what you think's inside.



-->'''PC''': 'TNT' and 'key' have the same amount of letters.
-->'''Beckett''': Ugh! Yes, how foolish of me, that would be the sound, reasonable course of action. A priceless piece of history - by all means run out and pick up some TNT.
*** What's even funnier is that speaking to Rosa proves the Malk knows [[spoiler: the sarcophagus is full of TNT, and is actually ''telling Beckett what's inside''.]]

to:

-->'''PC''': --->'''PC:''' 'TNT' and 'key' have the same amount of letters.
-->'''Beckett''':
letters.\\
'''Beckett:'''
Ugh! Yes, how foolish of me, that would be the sound, reasonable course of action. A priceless piece of history - -- by all means run out and pick up some TNT.
*** What's even funnier is that speaking to Rosa proves the Malk knows [[spoiler: the [[spoiler:the sarcophagus is full of TNT, and is actually ''telling Beckett what's inside''.]]



-->'''First Guy''': I'm hungry, let's order a pizza.\\
'''Second Guy''': Order a pizza, ORDER A PIZZA? Where they gonna deliver it, numbnuts? Thirteen abandoned warehouse full of kill on sight hot heads way?

to:

-->'''First Guy''': Guy:''' I'm hungry, let's order a pizza.\\
'''Second Guy''': Guy:''' Order a pizza, ORDER A PIZZA? Where they gonna deliver it, numbnuts? Thirteen abandoned warehouse full of kill on sight hot heads way?
27th Apr '18 3:47:16 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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-->Fine, no feast of Ben Franklins for the fatman tonight.

to:

-->Fine, --->Fine, no feast of Ben Franklins for the fatman tonight.
27th Apr '18 3:44:40 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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-->'''Anchor:''' ''[about the hunters taking Johansen]'' Police officials have gone on record as saying "Don't worry, that crazy bastard will save him."\\

to:

-->'''Anchor:''' --->'''Anchor:''' ''[about the hunters taking Johansen]'' Police officials have gone on record as saying "Don't worry, that crazy bastard will save him."\\



-->Oh ''shit.'' A Malkavian. I suppose I'll figure out what the hell you're talking about in a month or so. ''Man,'' I hate talking to you guys! [[MadOracle I always feel like I'm getting an answer to a question I haven't even asked yet]]. Oh well.

to:

-->Oh --->Oh ''shit.'' A Malkavian. I suppose I'll figure out what the hell you're talking about in a month or so. ''Man,'' I hate talking to you guys! [[MadOracle I always feel like I'm getting an answer to a question I haven't even asked yet]]. Oh well.



-->''[In a 'I'm-talking-to-a-five-year-old' voice]'' Yes, yes. I'm sure it was quite an experience.

to:

-->''[In --->''[In a 'I'm-talking-to-a-five-year-old' voice]'' Yes, yes. I'm sure it was quite an experience.



-->Aaaah, Dream Creature, hmmmm? O-''kay,'' somebody's circulating the bad candy again, I see. [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat But that's alright!]] No sense, no fear, right?

to:

-->Aaaah, --->Aaaah, Dream Creature, hmmmm? O-''kay,'' somebody's circulating the bad candy again, I see. [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat But that's alright!]] No sense, no fear, right?



-->'''Samantha:''' What's it like being a turtle?\\

to:

-->'''Samantha:''' --->'''Samantha:''' What's it like being a turtle?\\



-->'''Velvet:''' There is only one part of me I don't want anyone inside. My mind.

to:

-->'''Velvet:''' ---->'''Velvet:''' There is only one part of me I don't want anyone inside. My mind.



-->'''Trip''': "The keymaster"?! What have you been smoking? [[TheStoner And more importantly, where can I get some?]]

to:

-->'''Trip''': ---->'''Trip:''' "The keymaster"?! What have you been smoking? [[TheStoner And more importantly, where can I get some?]]
19th Mar '18 5:59:41 PM Theokal3
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** And to put icing on the cake, the mail ends with the angry viewer wishing Milligan and his crew to get "devoured by a carnivorous monster". ''Boy'' did he get his wish...
10th Mar '18 12:08:17 PM ErikModi
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--->InAWorld [[CaptainObvious where people live. . . and DIE]] [[OneManArmy "Do you think you can just go in there and handle this by yourself?"]] [[BadassBaritone "If that's what it takes!"]] [[ArchNemesis He was about to meet his greatest foe.]] [[IncomingHam "KILL THEM ALL!]] ''[[KillEmAll ALL OF THEM!"]]'' [[DesignatedLoveInterest And a girl.]] [[MeetCute "Hello." "Hi."]] [[PluckyComicRelief And a comic relief sidekick]] [[ShooOutTheClowns who won't make it to Act III.]] [[CasualDangerDialogue "I picked the wrong month to cancel my life insurance."]] [[HeroicBSOD "No. Don't say that! You're gonna make it!"]] [[TypeCasting With the guy from that other movie that was slightly popular, and whatshername, from that show you sometimes watch.]] [[ConspicuousCGI In a movie with two spectacular CGI battle sequences,]] [[AdvertisingCampaign an an advertising campaign that will leave you no choice but to see this film.]] [[TropeOverdosed See it, because it's a moive, and all your friends are going.]] [[HilariousInHindsight In theaters Friday, and on DVD in three months.]]

to:

--->InAWorld [[CaptainObvious where people live. . . and DIE]] [[OneManArmy "Do you think you can just go in there and handle this by yourself?"]] [[BadassBaritone "If that's what it takes!"]] [[ArchNemesis He was about to meet his greatest foe.]] [[IncomingHam "KILL THEM ALL!]] ''[[KillEmAll ALL OF THEM!"]]'' [[DesignatedLoveInterest And a girl.]] [[MeetCute "Hello." "Hi."]] [[PluckyComicRelief And a comic relief sidekick]] [[ShooOutTheClowns who won't make it to Act III.]] [[CasualDangerDialogue "I picked the wrong month to cancel my life insurance."]] [[HeroicBSOD "No. Don't say that! You're gonna make it!"]] [[TypeCasting With the guy from that other movie that was slightly popular, and whatshername, from that show you sometimes watch.]] [[ConspicuousCGI In a movie with two spectacular CGI battle sequences,]] [[AdvertisingCampaign [[AdvertisingCampaigns an an advertising campaign that will leave you no choice but to see this film.]] [[TropeOverdosed See it, because it's a moive, and all your friends are going.]] [[HilariousInHindsight In theaters Friday, and on DVD in three months.]]
10th Mar '18 12:07:43 PM ErikModi
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** The ad for the {{Troperiffic}} action movie counts, as well:
--->InAWorld [[CaptainObvious where people live. . . and DIE]] [[OneManArmy "Do you think you can just go in there and handle this by yourself?"]] [[BadassBaritone "If that's what it takes!"]] [[ArchNemesis He was about to meet his greatest foe.]] [[IncomingHam "KILL THEM ALL!]] ''[[KillEmAll ALL OF THEM!"]]'' [[DesignatedLoveInterest And a girl.]] [[MeetCute "Hello." "Hi."]] [[PluckyComicRelief And a comic relief sidekick]] [[ShooOutTheClowns who won't make it to Act III.]] [[CasualDangerDialogue "I picked the wrong month to cancel my life insurance."]] [[HeroicBSOD "No. Don't say that! You're gonna make it!"]] [[TypeCasting With the guy from that other movie that was slightly popular, and whatshername, from that show you sometimes watch.]] [[ConspicuousCGI In a movie with two spectacular CGI battle sequences,]] [[AdvertisingCampaign an an advertising campaign that will leave you no choice but to see this film.]] [[TropeOverdosed See it, because it's a moive, and all your friends are going.]] [[HilariousInHindsight In theaters Friday, and on DVD in three months.]]
23rd Feb '18 7:49:42 AM ErikModi
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** Jack also gives all young vampires some very sound advice, in his trademark fashion:
--->'''Jack''': ''(in regards to the Masquerade)'' We're livin' in the age of camera cell-phones, ''fuck-ups ain't tolerated.''
12th Feb '18 8:05:51 AM nmn3r3
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*** Alternatively, if the quest for Lily isn't active, you can either say "Booga-booga!", or even "I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!" if your humanity is low enough. Doing the latter will net you [[VideoGameCrueltyPunishment a loss of humanity, a masquerade violation, and the Southland Slasher butchering you if he happens to be in the diner at the time]], but god ''damn'' if it isn't hilarious.
22nd Jan '18 8:14:18 AM nmn3r3
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* Combined with VideoGameCrueltyPotential, any vampire character can convince one of the Thin-Bloods that he needs a holy stake and unicorn blood to become human again. You can also send him to his senseless death by telling him he needs to kill Prince [=LaCroix=] or the President of the United States. Why? Because they're the head vampire.
** "Hail to the Chief! The President is a bloodsucker!"

to:

* Combined with VideoGameCrueltyPotential, any vampire character can convince one of the Thin-Bloods that he needs a holy stake and unicorn blood to become human again. You can also send him to his senseless death by telling him he needs to kill Prince [=LaCroix=] [=LaCroix=], Nines Rodriguez, or the President of the United States. Why? Because they're the head vampire.
** "Hail -->'''Malkavian PC:''' Hail to the Chief! The President is a bloodsucker!"bloodsucker!
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