History Funny / VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines

2nd Apr '17 3:05:29 PM kurth-naga
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** A Malkavian PC suggesting a way to open the sarcophagus:
-->'''PC''': 'TNT' and 'key' have the same amount of letters.
-->'''Beckett''': Ugh! Yes, how foolish of me, that would be the sound, reasonable course of action. A priceless piece of history - by all means run out and pick up some TNT.
2nd Jan '17 1:32:28 PM Sally777
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* The various anti-pickup lines made by the potential Blood Dolls are comedy gold.
--> "Come here, I wanna whisper something in your ear - FUCK OFF!"
--> "If you were the last person on earth, I'd reconsider my views on beastiality."
--> "Even if my pants were on fire, I would NOT take them off in front of you."
--> "Are you undressing me with your eyes? Got a picture in your head? Good, that's as close as you're ever gonna come to seeing me naked."
--> "I'm not gay, but I'm willing to learn."
--> "Ooh, you're the type of man every woman wants... to get hit by a train!"
--> "As much as I'd love to ride around in your short bus, I think I'll take a cab home."
--> "Okay, let me just pick up some protection.... A couple of cans of pepper spray should do the trick."
27th Sep '16 7:04:06 AM nmn3r3
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* [[ValleyGirl Patty]] is designed to be ''[[ItsAllAboutMe extremely]]'' [[AttentionWhore annoying]]. If you're feeling sadistic, there's a certain level of satisfaction from sending her to [[ImAHumanitarian Pisha]]. Talk to Pisha afterward, and she'll comment that she it's the first time she's had a meal delivered.

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* [[ValleyGirl Patty]] is designed to be ''[[ItsAllAboutMe extremely]]'' [[AttentionWhore annoying]]. If you're feeling sadistic, there's a certain level of satisfaction from sending her to [[ImAHumanitarian Pisha]]. Talk to Pisha afterward, and she'll comment that she it's the first time she's had a meal delivered.
30th Jul '16 1:42:07 AM aurora369
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** In the tabletop World of Darkness, most of Gomez's theories are actually true. The Technocracy (a faction of the Mage splat) really has secret moonbases, sorta ''is'' the Illuminati and isn't above putting cameras into traffic lights.
19th Jul '16 6:08:10 PM nmn3r3
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-->'''PC''':''(About Johansen's whereabouts)'' And you worked all that out by sniffing around?\\
'''Beckett''': [[HighAltitudeInterrogation Actually, there were two hunters on the roof of the building opposite the hotel who were positively delighted to tell me everything they knew - provided I stop dangling them headfirst over the side.]]

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-->'''PC''':''(About -->'''PC''': ''(About Johansen's whereabouts)'' And you worked all that out by sniffing around?\\
'''Beckett''': [[HighAltitudeInterrogation Actually, there were two hunters on the roof of the building opposite the hotel who were positively delighted to tell me everything they knew - knew-- provided I stop dangling them headfirst over the side.]]



-->'''Beckett''': Put your ear to it - I'll shake it and you tell me what you think's inside.

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-->'''Beckett''': Put your ear to it - it-- I'll shake it and you tell me what you think's inside.



* The anarch and independent endings, provided you kept your Humanity up. [[spoiler:Karmic retribution on [=LaCroix=]?]] Good. [[spoiler:Karmic retribution that gives him just enough time to watch his aspirations turn to ash before blowing him sky-high without you having to lift a finger?]] Better. [[spoiler:Karmic retribution that you realize [[GambitRoulette has been set up before the plot started]], has spent the plot getting to its rightful recipient, and comes complete with a send-off note with a smily face on it that makes [=LaCroix=] [[LaughingMad crow like a madman]]?]] ''Hilarious''.
* Playing a low-Humanity vamp during the plaguebearers quest in downtown LA. A high-Humanity PC will react with shock and disgust at seeing how brutally the Brotherhood of the Ninth Circle treats humans. But drop your Humanity below 5 - and the PC actually tries to repeatedly ''join'' the Brotherhood. It's made even funnier when you fight your way to Bishop Vick, and the PC asks "So are you the guy I need to talk to if I want to join up?"

to:

* The anarch and independent endings, provided you kept your Humanity up. [[spoiler:Karmic retribution on [=LaCroix=]?]] Good. [[spoiler:Karmic retribution that gives him just enough time to watch his aspirations turn to ash before blowing him sky-high without you having to lift a finger?]] Better. [[spoiler:Karmic retribution that you realize [[GambitRoulette has been set up before the plot started]], has spent the plot getting to its rightful recipient, and comes complete with a send-off note with a smily smiley face on it that makes [=LaCroix=] [[LaughingMad crow like a madman]]?]] ''Hilarious''.
* Playing a low-Humanity vamp during the plaguebearers quest in downtown LA. A high-Humanity PC will react with shock and disgust at seeing how brutally the Brotherhood of the Ninth Circle treats humans. But drop your Humanity below 5 - 5-- and the PC actually tries to repeatedly ''join'' the Brotherhood. It's made even funnier when you fight your way to Bishop Vick, and the PC asks "So are you the guy I need to talk to if I want to join up?"


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* [[ValleyGirl Patty]] is designed to be ''[[ItsAllAboutMe extremely]]'' [[AttentionWhore annoying]]. If you're feeling sadistic, there's a certain level of satisfaction from sending her to [[ImAHumanitarian Pisha]]. Talk to Pisha afterward, and she'll comment that she it's the first time she's had a meal delivered.
24th Jun '16 8:49:26 PM ImpudentInfidel
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** If you ask her if you'll win in the end she tells you it doesn't matter if you beat the game, just if you bought it.
19th May '16 6:46:50 PM erforce
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** When you first meet the bail bondsman Arthur Killpatrick in Santa Monica: "[[Film/{{Ghostbusters}} Are you the keymaster?]]"

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** When you first meet the bail bondsman Arthur Killpatrick in Santa Monica: "[[Film/{{Ghostbusters}} "[[Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}} Are you the keymaster?]]"
21st Apr '16 12:44:52 PM narm00
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** When you have to tell to the three Russian mobsters on the Empire Arms Hostel parking lot that Venus won't pay her debt this time, one of the lines consists in using Dementation to convince their leader that he is a hungry bear and his friends are salmons. Doing so results in the leader attacking his own friends, thus sparing you the pain to fight them as they kill each others.

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** When you have to tell to the three Russian mobsters on in the Empire Arms Hostel parking lot that Venus won't pay her debt this time, one of the lines consists in of using Dementation to convince their leader that he is a hungry bear and his friends are salmons. salmon. Doing so results in the leader attacking his own friends, thus sparing you the pain to fight them as they kill each others.other.



* Just about anytime [[DeadpanSnarker Beckett]] speaks. It is amazing how he manages to make every line sounds sarcastic, even when he clearly didn't mean to.

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* Just about anytime [[DeadpanSnarker Beckett]] speaks. It is amazing how he manages to make every line sounds sound sarcastic, even when he clearly didn't mean to.
24th Feb '16 10:53:46 AM Theokal3
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** A later poster he promised is described as representing a lovely woman "you won't look in the eyes". When you actually get said poster, [[ExactWord it turns out to represent a woman who is literally eyeless]].

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** A later poster he promised is described as representing a lovely woman "you won't look in the eyes". When you actually get said poster, [[ExactWord [[ExactWords it turns out to represent a woman who is literally eyeless]].



** Even better is his opinion of the Sabbat, which he describes as "like fake tits on a zombie; it's funny at first, but not very useful."

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** Even better is his opinion of the Sabbat, which he describes as "like compares to fake tits on a zombie; it's funny at first, zombie tits: fun to watch, but not very useful."serves no real purpose.
15th Feb '16 4:07:27 PM Theokal3
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** Even better is his opinion of the Sabbath, which he describes as "like fake tits on a zombie; it's funny at first, but not very useful."

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** Even better is his opinion of the Sabbath, Sabbat, which he describes as "like fake tits on a zombie; it's funny at first, but not very useful."
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