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History Funny / VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines

19th May '16 6:46:50 PM erforce
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** When you first meet the bail bondsman Arthur Killpatrick in Santa Monica: "[[Film/{{Ghostbusters}} Are you the keymaster?]]"

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** When you first meet the bail bondsman Arthur Killpatrick in Santa Monica: "[[Film/{{Ghostbusters}} "[[Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}} Are you the keymaster?]]"
21st Apr '16 12:44:52 PM narm00
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** When you have to tell to the three Russian mobsters on the Empire Arms Hostel parking lot that Venus won't pay her debt this time, one of the lines consists in using Dementation to convince their leader that he is a hungry bear and his friends are salmons. Doing so results in the leader attacking his own friends, thus sparing you the pain to fight them as they kill each others.

to:

** When you have to tell to the three Russian mobsters on in the Empire Arms Hostel parking lot that Venus won't pay her debt this time, one of the lines consists in of using Dementation to convince their leader that he is a hungry bear and his friends are salmons. salmon. Doing so results in the leader attacking his own friends, thus sparing you the pain to fight them as they kill each others.other.



* Just about anytime [[DeadpanSnarker Beckett]] speaks. It is amazing how he manages to make every line sounds sarcastic, even when he clearly didn't mean to.

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* Just about anytime [[DeadpanSnarker Beckett]] speaks. It is amazing how he manages to make every line sounds sound sarcastic, even when he clearly didn't mean to.
24th Feb '16 10:53:46 AM Theokal3
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** A later poster he promised is described as representing a lovely woman "you won't look in the eyes". When you actually get said poster, [[ExactWord it turns out to represent a woman who is literally eyeless]].

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** A later poster he promised is described as representing a lovely woman "you won't look in the eyes". When you actually get said poster, [[ExactWord [[ExactWords it turns out to represent a woman who is literally eyeless]].



** Even better is his opinion of the Sabbat, which he describes as "like fake tits on a zombie; it's funny at first, but not very useful."

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** Even better is his opinion of the Sabbat, which he describes as "like compares to fake tits on a zombie; it's funny at first, zombie tits: fun to watch, but not very useful."serves no real purpose.
15th Feb '16 4:07:27 PM Theokal3
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** Even better is his opinion of the Sabbath, which he describes as "like fake tits on a zombie; it's funny at first, but not very useful."

to:

** Even better is his opinion of the Sabbath, Sabbat, which he describes as "like fake tits on a zombie; it's funny at first, but not very useful."
15th Feb '16 4:06:21 PM Theokal3
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** A later poster he promised is described as representing a lovely woman "you won't look in the eyes". When you actually get said poster, [[ExactWord it turns out to represent a woman who is literally eyeless]].



** Even better is his opinion of the Sabbath, which he describes as "like fake tits on a zombie; it's funny at first, but not very useful."



** It gets even better - if you check the 'future shows' folder, you can learn that their next show after the old hospital was going to be the same graveyard in Hollywood that you end up going to on behalf of Isaac.

to:

** It gets even better - if you check the 'future shows' folder, you can learn that their next show after the old hospital was going to be the same graveyard in Hollywood that you end up going to on behalf of Isaac. You know, the one where there is a small-scale ZombieApocalypse...
2nd Jan '16 6:22:27 AM nmn3r3
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'''Anchor:''' An official statement issued by the president say that [[ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem he can do whatever he wants-- who do you think put him there?]]

to:

'''Anchor:''' An official statement issued by the president say says that [[ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem he can do whatever he wants-- who wants. Who do you think put him there?]]
2nd Jan '16 6:21:52 AM nmn3r3
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'''Anchor:''' ''[about the warehouse explosion]'' Police don't have any suspects at this time, but they're pretty sure the source of the explosion came from you.

to:

'''Anchor:''' ''[about the warehouse explosion]'' Police don't have any suspects at this time, but they're pretty sure the source of the explosion came from you.\\
'''Anchor:''' An official statement issued by the president say that [[ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem he can do whatever he wants-- who do you think put him there?]]
2nd Jan '16 5:51:37 AM narm00
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** The Malkavian ability to know secrets no one else should know allows you to screw with people in some truly hilarious ways. Ming-Xiao is a perfect example as she waxes on and on about how Cainites are inferior. However, you can call her on her FantasticRacism by mentioning the Yama Kings, the demonic Hell gods that are always threatening to eat Kuejin souls.

to:

** The Malkavian ability to know secrets no one else should know allows you to screw with people in some truly hilarious ways. Ming-Xiao Ming Xiao is a perfect example as she waxes on and on about how Cainites are inferior. However, you can call her on her FantasticRacism by mentioning the Yama Kings, the demonic Hell gods that are always threatening to eat Kuejin Kuei-jin souls.



** Boris's bodyguard mistakes you for ''Baba Yaga'' of all people and immediately starts shooting at you. Made even funnier if you know the lore of the source material and realize, Baba Yaga IS a Nosferatu, a rather low generation one at that. Backhanded compliment much?

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** Boris's bodyguard mistakes you for ''Baba Yaga'' of all people and immediately starts shooting at you. Made even funnier if you know the lore of the source material and realize, realize Baba Yaga IS a Nosferatu, a rather low generation one at that. Backhanded compliment much?



-->"The one called John went so far as to ''gnaw off his arm'' and escape into the floorboards like some feral rodent. I still hear him scurrying about at night; he must be making an ''atrocious'' mess...

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-->"The one called John went so far as to ''gnaw off his arm'' and escape into the floorboards like some feral rodent. I still hear him scurrying about at night; he must be making an ''atrocious'' mess..."



* One of the main reasons to play a Nosferatu is getting some laughs out of scaring people senseless. Especially the seduceable girls and [[CrowningMomentOfFunny the food critic.]]



** And there are many intentionally sarcastic remarks that's truly funny:

to:

** And there are many intentionally sarcastic remarks that's that're truly funny:



* Sneaking into the Santa Monica warehouse let's you listen in on this little conversation

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* Sneaking into the Santa Monica warehouse let's lets you listen in on this little conversationconversation:



* Playing a low-Humanity vamp during the plaguebearers quest in downtown LA. A high-Humanity PC will react with shock and disgust at seeing how brutally the Brotherhood of the Ninth Circle treats human. But drop your Humanity below 5 - and the PC actually tries to repeatedly ''join'' the Brotherhood. It's made even funnier when you fight your way to Bishop Vick, and the PC asks "So are you the guy I need to talk to if I want to join up?"

to:

* Playing a low-Humanity vamp during the plaguebearers quest in downtown LA. A high-Humanity PC will react with shock and disgust at seeing how brutally the Brotherhood of the Ninth Circle treats human.humans. But drop your Humanity below 5 - and the PC actually tries to repeatedly ''join'' the Brotherhood. It's made even funnier when you fight your way to Bishop Vick, and the PC asks "So are you the guy I need to talk to if I want to join up?"



** One of Malkavian's lines in the same conversation mentions "feeling generic".

to:

** One of the Malkavian's lines in the same conversation mentions "feeling generic".



** For added Fan Bonus, 09.31.2004 is the date when the "Old World of Darkness"-setting canonically ends.
* If you sneak around the Elizabeth Dane and eavesdrop on the cops, you'll hear some of them talking about the symbols written in blood around the sarcophagus. They will go over various possibilities: occultism, gang symbols, pirate signs, until one of them provides a completely mundane, but hilarious explanation. Oh, [[spoiler:Jack]], you're such a troll.

to:

** For added Fan Bonus, 09.31.2004 is the date when the "Old World of Darkness"-setting canonically ends.
ended in its original run.
* If you sneak around the Elizabeth Dane and eavesdrop on the cops, you'll hear some of them talking about the symbols written in blood around the sarcophagus. They will go over various possibilities: possibilities - occultism, gang symbols, pirate signs, signs - until one of them provides a completely mundane, but hilarious explanation. Oh, [[spoiler:Jack]], you're such a troll.



* One of the sidequests for Gary involves him asking you for specific items (a video tape of one of his old movies, a Nosferatu picture owned by Haunted LA...) and exchanging them for naughty posters of various female characters in the game to decorate your haven with. The first and second ones are posters of [[MsFanservice Jeanette and Velvet]], and the third one is... [[TheBaroness Ming-Xiao]].

to:

* One of the sidequests for Gary involves him asking you for specific items (a video tape of one of his old movies, a Nosferatu picture owned by Haunted LA...) and exchanging them for naughty posters of various female characters in the game to decorate your haven with. The first and second ones are posters of [[MsFanservice Jeanette and Velvet]], and the third one is... [[TheBaroness Ming-Xiao]].Ming Xiao]].



* If chosing the right dialogue options, you can get this exchange with Venus when she sends you kill Boris:

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* If chosing you choose the right dialogue options, you can get this exchange with Venus when she sends you to kill Boris:



-->'''PC''': I didn't thought it would be that easy.

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-->'''PC''': I didn't thought think it would be that easy.
25th Dec '15 9:25:55 AM nmn3r3
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'''Anchor:''' ''[about the thugs killed in the Surfside Diner]'' Police don't have any suspects at this time, but they're pretty sure that it was you.

to:

'''Anchor:''' ''[about the thugs killed in the Surfside Diner]'' Police say that vigilantism will not be tolerated, and that they know it was you.\\
'''Anchor:''' ''[about the warehouse explosion]'' Police
don't have any suspects at this time, but they're pretty sure that it was the source of the explosion came from you.


Added DiffLines:

* Asking [[WaifProphet Rosa]] (the thin-blooded Malkavian) if she knows who stole your bike in fifth grade causes her to remind you that she sees the future, not the past.
22nd Dec '15 5:27:17 PM nmn3r3
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'''Anchor:''' ''[about the warehouse explosion]'' Police don't have any suspects at this time, but they're pretty sure that it was you.

to:

'''Anchor:''' ''[about the warehouse explosion]'' thugs killed in the Surfside Diner]'' Police don't have any suspects at this time, but they're pretty sure that it was you.
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