History Funny / TommyBoy

--->'''Old Man:''' Jesus Christ... ''[[NeverLiveItDown Once]]'' during the war I visited a prostitute, and my life has been a ''living hell'' ever since!

-->"Now, some of us are leaving, and that is sad. But this isn't the end, no way. We're gonna ''show'' this world a thing or two! We're gonna '''SHOW...'''"
-->''*passes out and completely flattens a coffee table*''

-->'''Tommy:''' No offense; but if I sent a picture of your mom back to my buddies at college, she'd definitely be "Boner of the Month"!

* The deer Tommy and Richard hit [[spoiler: that suddenly ''wakes up in the back seat and destroys Richard's car.'']]
-->'''Tommy:''' I swear I've seen a lot of stuff in my life, but that... was... ''awesome.'' [laughing] [{{Beat}}] ... but, sorry about your car, man. That sucks.
* Tommy catching Richard having ADateWithRosiePalms and making a RunningGag out of it.
* Richard's airline announcements are so deadpan-caustic they're hilarious.
-->'''Richard:''' Okay, folks, the guy in front of you is Tommy. He'll be taking you through my little spiel here. Tommy is a scorpio, he likes biking, and he's never been laid. [''Tommy glares at Richard, who just shrugs''] Exits? Okay, there's one back here, and there's, uh, probably one over by the wings somewhere, usually... And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end and... you know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy will come back there and hit you in the head with a tack hammer because you're a ''retard!'' Okay, and life preservers: These, you may need, although what are the odds of us actually hitting a lake? My money says, if anything, it's gonna be a ''mountain!'' To inflate, put it around your neck and yank down on the tab. [''Tommy puts a kid-sized life preserver around his neck and inflates it; it starts to choke him'']\\
'''Tommy:''' AAAUGH! GET IT OFF! SON OF A-- [''he flails around for a bit''] CAN'T BREATHE! CHOKING! [''he grabs a passenger's pen and stabs it into the preserver to let the air out'']\\
'''Richard:''' He's a big, dumb animal, isn't he, folks?
* "Please go away, let me sleep ''FOR THE LOVE OF '''GOD!!'''''"
** "Housekeeping, you want me to jerk you off?"
** "What kind of a motel ''is'' this?!"
* Six words: Fat guy in a little coat.
* Tommy's answers a question on a test in the opening credits. ''"Thomas Jefferson, James Madison and [[spoiler: [[Music/HerbieHancock Herbie]]]] Hancock were all framers of the constitution."''
** Even better, both Thomas Jefferson and John Hancock had nothing to do with the framing of the Constitution. With professors like these, no wonder Tommy got that D+.
* Tommy and Richard's big, goofy singalongs in the car.

* Let's face it, just about ''everything'' Tommy says or does.
** In particular, his sparking a EurekaMoment in Richard with his [[ItMakesSenseInContext "Jojo, the Idiot Circus Boy]] and [[AndCallHimGeorge his pretty new pet!"]] routine for the waitress.
** Shortly after this, Tommy has his first ''successful'' sales pitch - due to mentioning how the "Guarantee Fairy" [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext will steal the money on the dresser and leave your daughter knocked up]]. He and Richard are both genuinely shocked when it proves CrazyEnoughToWork.
* The waitress gets in a great DeadpanSnarker line as well:
-->'''Waitress:''' "Sorry, kitchen's closed until 12:30. All we got is cold stuff and desserts."
-->'''Tommy:''' "Boy, some chicken wings would really hit the spot; are ya sure it's closed?"
-->'''Waitress:''' "Let me check. *{{beat}}* ''Yep'', it's closed."
* Tommy and Richard have it out on the side of the road - Richard smacks Tommy out cold with a two-by-four, then looks up at a billboard. "Hey, Prehistoric Forest!"
* "YOUR FIREARMS ARE USELESS AGAINST THEM!!"
* Tommy and Richard in the car, singing [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T7ZLIqJ8RN4 Superstar]], by The Carpenters. What sells it is Tommy and Richard previously acting nonchalant about the song playing, the GilliganCut, and then seeing them with tears all over their faces.
* The elderly board woman's obsession with whores coming into town if Callahan Auto gets shut down.
** The Board's [[HereWeGoAgain exasperated sigh]] when she first brings it up.
** Richard's deadpan response after one of her tangents.
-->'''Old Lady:''' All the whores running around, shaking their behinds for the men-folk!
-->'''Richard''': I kinda like her idea.
** The reason why she can't shut up about it:
-->'''Old Man''': Jesus Christ... ''[[NeverLiveItDown Once]]'' during the war I visited a prostitute, and my life has been a ''living hell'' ever since!

-->"Now, some of us are leaving, and that is sad. But this isn't the end, no way. We're gonna show this world a thing or two! We're gonna '''show...'''"

-->"Now, some of us are leaving, and that is sad. But this isn't the end, no way. We're gonna show this world a thing or two! We're gonna '''show...'''" ''*passes out and completely flattens a coffee table*''

-->"Now, some of us are leaving, and that is sad. But this isn't the end, no way. We're gonna show this world a thing or two! We're gonna '''show...'''"
-->''*passes out and completely flattens a coffee table*''

-->"Now, some of us are leaving, and that is sad. But this isn't the end, no way. We're gonna show this world a thing or two! We're gonna ''show...''"

* "Housekeeping, you want me to jerk you off?"

-->'''Paul:''' I'm honored.

-->'''Old Man''': Jesus Christ... ''Once'' during the war I visited a prostitute, and my life has been a ''living hell'' ever since!

** In particular, his sparking a EurekaMoment in Richard with his [[ItMakesSenseInContext "Jojo, the Idiot Circus Boy and his pretty new pet!"]] routine for the waitress.

-->'''Old Man''': Jesus Christ. ''Once'' during the war I visited a prostitute, and my life has been a living hell ever since!

* The Elderly Female Board Woman's obession with Whores coming into town if callahagn gets shut down.
** The Board's exasperated sigh when she first brings it up.

-->'''Richard''': I like her idea.
** The reason why she can't shut up about it
-->'''Board Member''': For god's sake I visit a prostitute once 40 years ago and i've been paying for it ever since.

** In particular, his sparking a EurekaMoment in Richard with his [[ItMakesSenseInContext "Jojo, the Indian Circus Boy and his pretty new pet!"]] routine for the waitress.

* Tommy and Richard in the car, singing [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T7ZLIqJ8RN4 Superstar]], by The Carpenters. What sells it is Tommy and Richard previously acting nonchalant about the song playing, the GilliganCut, and then seeing them with tears all over their faces.

* [[TwoWordsObviousTrope Six words]] - fat guy in a little coat.

** Even better, John Hancock was not a framer of the Constitution. No wonder Tommy got that D+.

* Tommy and Richard in the car, singing Superstar, by The Carpenters. What sells it is Tommy and Richard previously acting nonchalant about the song playing, the GilliganCut, and then seeing them with tears all over their faces.

* Tommy and Richard have it out on the side of the road - Richard smacks Tommy out cold with a two-by-four, then looks up at a billboard. "Hey, Prehistoric Forest!"

* Let's face it, just about ''everything'' Tommy says or does.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2XvxDaIwCw A sales demonstration by Tommy Callahan]].

* Tommy and Richard's big, goofy singalongs in the car.

* [[TwoWordsObviousTrope Six words]] - fat guy in a little coat.