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[[Funny/ToddInTheShadows Main]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsFromTheVaults Pre-TGWTG]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2010Episodes 2010]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2011Episodes 2011]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2012Episodes 2012]] | '''2013''' | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2014Episodes 2014]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland One-Hit Wonderland]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsSpecials Specials]]
to:
[[Funny/ToddInTheShadows Main]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsFromTheVaults Pre-TGWTG]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2010Episodes 2010]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2011Episodes 2011]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2012Episodes 2012]] | '''2013''' | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2014Episodes 2014]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland One-Hit Wonderland]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsSpecials Specials]]
Specials]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsCinemadonna Cinemadonna]]
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** Fun fact for those who don't know: [[spoiler:That's the first joke of the series.]]
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Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Todd''': Holy ''crap'', VH-1. I don't think I've even heard Al-Qaeda say anything that anti-American.
to:
-->'''Todd''': Holy ''crap'', VH-1. [[CrossesTheLineTwice I don't think I've even heard Al-Qaeda say anything that anti-American.anti-American]].
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Changed line(s) 400 (click to see context) from:
* "If 'The Bad Touch' thought it was 'Kiss from a Rose', it'd be this. Mars may feel like [[http://tinyurl.com/mb5xbzv this,]] but he's honestly more like [[http://tinyurl.com/k2nocop this.]] At best. What is it with this guy and monkeys, anyway?" (cut to the dancers in monkey masks in the "Lazy Song" video")
to:
* "If 'The Bad Touch' thought it was 'Kiss from a Rose', it'd be this. Mars may feel like [[http://tinyurl.com/mb5xbzv [[Film/KingKong this,]] but he's honestly more like [[http://tinyurl.com/k2nocop [[WesternAnimation/MagillaGorilla this.]] At best. What is it with this guy and monkeys, anyway?" (cut to the dancers in monkey masks in the "Lazy Song" video")
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Changed line(s) 31 (click to see context) from:
* His summary of "Too Close" by Alex Clare: "I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEEEEOPLLLLLE! I'M NOT REALLY FEELING OUR RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOWWWWWW!"
to:
* His summary of "Too Close" by Alex Clare: "I "[[LargeHam I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEEEEOPLLLLLE! I'M NOT REALLY FEELING OUR RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOWWWWWW!"NOWWWWWW!]]"
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Changed line(s) 57 (click to see context) from:
* "You know, it's funny that Bruno Mars should rip off Music/ThePolice, seeing as he hasn't exactly had the best luck with the police. Just saying."
to:
* "You are damning him to hell by [[DisproportionateRetribution not boning him]]!"
** "You know, it's funny that Bruno Mars should rip off Music/ThePolice, seeing as he hasn't exactly had the best luck with the police. Just saying."
** "You know, it's funny that Bruno Mars should rip off Music/ThePolice, seeing as he hasn't exactly had the best luck with the police. Just saying."
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Changed line(s) 36 (click to see context) from:
** The conclusion that Chris Brown's managers are secretly slipping lyrics relating to DomesticAbuse to his songs as a prank and that they hate him as much as Todd does.
to:
** The conclusion that Chris Brown's managers are secretly slipping lyrics relating to DomesticAbuse to in his songs as a prank and that they hate him as much as Todd does.
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* "Oh, I remember how he did it. In fact, [[NeverLiveItDown I wish I could forget.]]"
** The conclusion that Chris Brown's managers are secretly slipping lyrics relating to DomesticAbuse to his songs as a prank and that they hate him as much as Todd does.
** "[[VideoGame/{{Portal}} The cake is a lie]]"
** The conclusion that Chris Brown's managers are secretly slipping lyrics relating to DomesticAbuse to his songs as a prank and that they hate him as much as Todd does.
** "[[VideoGame/{{Portal}} The cake is a lie]]"
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Changed line(s) 368 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Todd''': If for some godforsaken reason you're a Bruno Mars groupie and dream of getting it on with Bruno Mars, you can expect it to look like this. (''cue [[BrainBleach mind-scarring footage]]'')
to:
-->'''Todd''': If for some godforsaken reason you're a Bruno Mars groupie and dream of getting it on with Bruno Mars, you can expect it to look like this. (''cue [[BrainBleach mind-scarring footage]]'')footage]]'' [[note]] Gorillas mating [[/note]])
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Changed line(s) 405,407 (click to see context) from:
* On Miley being naked in the video:
"Look, she's... naked, with her naked, nude body... nakeding everywhere!"
** "Okay, this is me, but...she...she does not look attractive. She looks like someone Photoshopped some boobs on Music/JustinBieber."
"Look, she's... naked, with her naked, nude body... nakeding everywhere!"
** "Okay, this is me, but...she...she does not look attractive. She looks like someone Photoshopped some boobs on Music/JustinBieber."
to:
* On Miley being naked in the video:
video: "Look, she's... naked, with her naked, nude body... nakeding everywhere!"
** * "Okay, this is me, but...she...she does not look attractive. She looks like someone Photoshopped some boobs on Music/JustinBieber."
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Changed line(s) 396 (click to see context) from:
* * "If 'The Bad Touch' thought it was 'Kiss from a Rose', it'd be this. Mars may feel like [[http://tinyurl.com/mb5xbzv this,]] but he's honestly more like [[http://tinyurl.com/k2nocop this.]] At best. What is it with this guy and monkeys, anyway?" (cut to the dancers in monkey masks in the "Lazy Song" video")
to:
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Changed line(s) 374 (click to see context) from:
* * "So whenever people talk about wild monkey sex, gorillas are not the ones they're thinking of. A much better primate to use here would be bonobos, who really do get their freak on all over the place at anytime with anything and anyone. There's my revision: 'You and me, baby makin' love like bonobos!' ...Ok, it doesn't quite have the same ring to it, but it's not like you're gonna make the song any sillier."
to:
Changed line(s) 383,385 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Todd:''' Actually, as hilarious as "makin' love like gorillas" is, think the true comedy comes from the line before it.
Bruno: ♪You'll be banging on my chest\ Bang bang, gorilla♪
Todd: That's probably my favorite new bad lyric. I mean, hashtag lyrics are just stupid to begin with, but he just blurts it out there. I think that's what it sounds like when he orgasms. You know, like, [[TheGruntingOrgasm "Uh, uh...bang bang! Gorilla!"]] Another thing, you realize, "you'll be bangin' on my chest"? Gorillas bang on their own chest. You know, like this. [demonstrates] Ow.
Bruno: ♪You'll be banging on my chest\ Bang bang, gorilla♪
Todd: That's probably my favorite new bad lyric. I mean, hashtag lyrics are just stupid to begin with, but he just blurts it out there. I think that's what it sounds like when he orgasms. You know, like, [[TheGruntingOrgasm "Uh, uh...bang bang! Gorilla!"]] Another thing, you realize, "you'll be bangin' on my chest"? Gorillas bang on their own chest. You know, like this. [demonstrates] Ow.
to:
-->'''Todd:''' Actually, as hilarious as "makin' love like gorillas" is, think the true comedy comes from the line before it.
it.\\
Bruno: ♪You'll be banging on my chest\ Bang bang,gorilla♪
gorilla♪\\
Todd: That's probably my favorite new bad lyric. I mean, hashtag lyrics are just stupid to begin with, but he just blurts it out there. I think that's what it sounds like when he orgasms. You know, like, [[TheGruntingOrgasm "Uh, uh...bang bang! Gorilla!"]] Another thing, you realize, "you'll be bangin' on my chest"? Gorillas bang on their own chest. You know, like this.[demonstrates] Ow. [demonstrates, but hurts himself] Ow... \\
Bruno: ♪You'll be banging on my chest\ Bang bang,
Todd: That's probably my favorite new bad lyric. I mean, hashtag lyrics are just stupid to begin with, but he just blurts it out there. I think that's what it sounds like when he orgasms. You know, like, [[TheGruntingOrgasm "Uh, uh...bang bang! Gorilla!"]] Another thing, you realize, "you'll be bangin' on my chest"? Gorillas bang on their own chest. You know, like this.
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Changed line(s) 436 (click to see context) from:
* "Man, I'm being awfully pleasantly surprised lately by things I hate that begin with "one." Maybe I should try watching Series/OneTreeHill again. ...No."
to:
* "Man, I'm being awfully pleasantly surprised lately by [[Music/OneDirection things I hate that begin with "one." "]] Maybe I should try watching Series/OneTreeHill again. ...No."
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* "Jay-Z is still very much trying to be the biggest name in the name, as evidenced by his twelfth studio album, Magna Carta Holy Grail, an album he felt was so stunning, he named it after two of the most renowned, legendary artifacts of Western culture. Who else would dare to elevate their record to this level of religious grandiosity-- (cue promo poster of Yeezus) Oh, of course. Don't ever change, Kanye."
Changed line(s) 352,353 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Todd:''' Well that ''sucked!''
* Todd's deep, ten-second groan upon realizing the song is about the difficulties of being a celebrity.
* Todd's deep, ten-second groan upon realizing the song is about the difficulties of being a celebrity.
to:
*
Changed line(s) 357,360 (click to see context) from:
* When discussing Justin Timberlake's song "Mirrors", he states that it's still an ego song because he's comparing the girl he wants to his own reflection. Cue a clip of ''Disney/BeautyAndTheBeast'' -- more specifically, Gaston's part in "Belle".
* Todd complaining about the intro's length.
-->'''Todd''': Just the intro lasts a minute and a half! You could eat an entire large pizza in the time it takes for this song to get started. [[BigEater At least I can]]. I assume everyone can, right?
* Todd apologizing to Lady Gaga for "Applause," as she admits to craving fame and not making up not-very-serious hardships.
* Todd complaining about the intro's length.
-->'''Todd''': Just the intro lasts a minute and a half! You could eat an entire large pizza in the time it takes for this song to get started. [[BigEater At least I can]]. I assume everyone can, right?
* Todd apologizing to Lady Gaga for "Applause," as she admits to craving fame and not making up not-very-serious hardships.
to:
-->'''Todd:''' I didn't realize until just now what a limited range Justin
-->'''[[Disney/BeautyAndTheBeast Gaston:]]''' ♪Here in
*
-->'''Todd''': Just
*
* The video's description on Blip: "Bruno Mars [[Music/PeterGabriel shocks the monkey."]]
* "I realize gorillas have always been a symbol of virility. Every guy wants to be this dominant, musclebound, chest-beating king of the jungle. I get that. With that said, watch as I destroy this metaphor with science. Science: ruining everything for everybody always! Thanks, science!"
Changed line(s) 370,375 (click to see context) from:
* Also, "Science! Ruining everything for everybody, always! Thanks, science."
* When wrapping up how using gorillas as a metaphor for sex is a major AnalogyBackfire, he points out that bonobos would be a much more appropriate choice, since they really are a sexually active species:
-->'''Todd''': There's my revision: "You and me, baby makin' love like bonobos!" (''{{Beat}}'') Okay, it doesn't quite have the same ring to it, but it's not like you're gonna make the song any sillier.
* When looking back through Bruno's catalog to see if he's been sexually explicit in any other songs, he cues up "The Lazy Song":
-->'''Bruno''': ♪Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex / And she's gonna scream out, "This is great!"♪ (''[[FlatJoy Oh my god, this is so great]]'')
-->'''Todd''': Yeah, point proven. I have a feeling that's a closer approximation of what sex with Bruno Mars is like.
* When wrapping up how using gorillas as a metaphor for sex is a major AnalogyBackfire, he points out that bonobos would be a much more appropriate choice, since they really are a sexually active species:
-->'''Todd''': There's my revision: "You and me, baby makin' love like bonobos!" (''{{Beat}}'') Okay, it doesn't quite have the same ring to it, but it's not like you're gonna make the song any sillier.
* When looking back through Bruno's catalog to see if he's been sexually explicit in any other songs, he cues up "The Lazy Song":
-->'''Bruno''': ♪Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex / And she's gonna scream out, "This is great!"♪ (''[[FlatJoy Oh my god, this is so great]]'')
-->'''Todd''': Yeah, point proven. I have a feeling that's a closer approximation of what sex with Bruno Mars is like.
to:
* Also, "Science! Ruining everything for everybody, always! Thanks, science."
* When wrapping up how using "So whenever people talk about wild monkey sex, gorillas as a metaphor for sex is a major AnalogyBackfire, he points out that bonobos are not the ones they're thinking of. A much better primate to use here would be a much more appropriate choice, since they bonobos, who really are a sexually active species:
-->'''Todd''':do get their freak on all over the place at anytime with anything and anyone. There's my revision: "You 'You and me, baby makin' love like bonobos!" (''{{Beat}}'') Okay, bonobos!' ...Ok, it doesn't quite have the same ring to it, but it's not like you're gonna make the song any sillier.
* When looking back through Bruno's catalog to see if he's been sexually explicit in any other songs, he cues up "The Lazy Song":
-->'''Bruno''': ♪Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex / And she's gonna scream out, "This is great!"♪ (''[[FlatJoy Oh my god, this is so great]]'')
-->'''Todd''': Yeah, point proven. I have a feeling that's a closer approximation of what sex with Bruno Mars is like.sillier."
-->'''Todd''':
* When looking back through Bruno's catalog to see if he's been sexually explicit in any other songs, he cues up "The Lazy Song":
-->'''Bruno''': ♪Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex / And she's gonna scream out, "This is great!"♪ (''[[FlatJoy Oh my god, this is so great]]'')
-->'''Todd''': Yeah, point proven. I have a feeling that's a closer approximation of what sex with Bruno Mars is like.
Changed line(s) 383,384 (click to see context) from:
* Saying that the chorus sounds like Bruno's [[TheGruntingOrgasm orgasm]]: "Uh, uh, uh, bang bang! Gorilla!"
* Todd smacks his chest with his fists like a gorilla... and hurts himself.
* Todd smacks his chest with his fists like a gorilla... and hurts himself.
to:
-->'''Todd:''' Actually, as hilarious as "makin' love like gorillas" is, think the
Bruno: ♪You'll be banging on my chest\ Bang bang, gorilla♪
Todd: That's probably my favorite new bad lyric. I mean, hashtag lyrics are just stupid to begin with, but he just blurts it out there. I think that's what it sounds like
* Todd smacks his chest
*
-->'''Bruno:''' ♪If the neighbors call the cops\ Call the sheriff, call the SWAT ‒ we don't stop\ We keep rocking while they're knocking on our door♪
-->'''Todd:''' Well, when they do knock down your door, make sure you've hidden your cocaine. You do have a problem with
* When looking back through Bruno's catalog to see if he's been sexually explicit in any other songs, he cues up "The Lazy Song":
-->'''Bruno''': ♪Meet a
-->'''Todd''': Yeah, point proven. I have a feeling that's a closer approximation of what sex with Bruno Mars is like.
Changed line(s) 389,395 (click to see context) from:
* The closing:
-->'''Todd''': Bruno Mars may feel like this…
-->(''picture of Film/KingKong beating his chest'')
-->'''Todd''': …but he's honestly more like this. At best.
-->(''picture of WesternAnimation/MagillaGorilla'')
-->'''Todd''': (''beat'') What is it with this guy and monkeys, anyway?
-->(''cut to the dancers in monkey masks in the "Lazy Song" video"'')
-->'''Todd''': Bruno Mars may feel like this…
-->(''picture of Film/KingKong beating his chest'')
-->'''Todd''': …but he's honestly more like this. At best.
-->(''picture of WesternAnimation/MagillaGorilla'')
-->'''Todd''': (''beat'') What is it with this guy and monkeys, anyway?
-->(''cut to the dancers in monkey masks in the "Lazy Song" video"'')
to:
* The closing:
-->'''Todd''': Bruno* "If 'The Bad Touch' thought it was 'Kiss from a Rose', it'd be this. Mars may feel like this…
-->(''picture of Film/KingKong beating his chest'')
-->'''Todd''': …but[[http://tinyurl.com/mb5xbzv this,]] but he's honestly more like this. [[http://tinyurl.com/k2nocop this.]] At best.
-->(''picture of WesternAnimation/MagillaGorilla'')
-->'''Todd''': (''beat'')best. What is it with this guy and monkeys, anyway?
-->(''cutanyway?" (cut to the dancers in monkey masks in the "Lazy Song" video"'')video")
-->'''Todd''': Bruno
-->(''picture of Film/KingKong beating his chest'')
-->'''Todd''': …but
-->(''picture of WesternAnimation/MagillaGorilla'')
-->'''Todd''': (''beat'')
-->(''cut
* A subtle one: The review's title isn't "Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus"... it's "Wrecking Ball by ''Series/HannahMontana''".
* The descriptions of Miley twerking on Robin Thicke.
--> "It was a deeply, horribly unpleasant thing to watch. It was Film/TheHumanCentipede of music."
* The descriptions of Miley twerking on Robin Thicke.
--> "It was a deeply, horribly unpleasant thing to watch. It was Film/TheHumanCentipede of music."
Changed line(s) 401,407 (click to see context) from:
* On Miley licking a sledgehammer in the video: "Mmm, tastes like drywall. You realize that thing was probably used to remove an old toilet from a remodeled bathroom, right?"
* To underscore the obvious testicle metaphors in the song's video, Todd plays "[[Music/{{ACDC}} Big Balls]]" over some footage, and "[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Chocolate Salty Balls (P.S. I Love You)]]" over the credits.
* Todd's {{Mondegreen}}'s of the song.
--> '''Miley''': "All you ever did was ra-a-ape me!" [[note]]The actual lyrics read "Wreck me".[[/note]] \\
'''Todd''': "That's literally all I can hear there. I spent the longest time trying to convince myself that Miley was just singing about her favorite Music/{{Nirvana}} songs."
* On Miley being naked in the video:
** "Look, she's... naked, with her naked, nude body... nakeding everywhere!"
* To underscore the obvious testicle metaphors in the song's video, Todd plays "[[Music/{{ACDC}} Big Balls]]" over some footage, and "[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Chocolate Salty Balls (P.S. I Love You)]]" over the credits.
* Todd's {{Mondegreen}}'s of the song.
--> '''Miley''': "All you ever did was ra-a-ape me!" [[note]]The actual lyrics read "Wreck me".[[/note]] \\
'''Todd''': "That's literally all I can hear there. I spent the longest time trying to convince myself that Miley was just singing about her favorite Music/{{Nirvana}} songs."
* On Miley being naked in the video:
** "Look, she's... naked, with her naked, nude body... nakeding everywhere!"
to:
* To underscore the obvious testicle metaphors in the song's video, Todd plays "[[Music/{{ACDC}} Big Balls]]" over some footage, and "[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Chocolate Salty Balls (P.S. I Love You)]]" over the credits.
* Todd's {{Mondegreen}}'s of the song.
--> '''Miley''': "All you ever did was ra-a-ape me!" [[note]]The actual lyrics read "Wreck me".[[/note]] \\
'''Todd''': "That's literally all I can hear there. I spent the longest time trying to convince myself that Miley was just singing about her favorite Music/{{Nirvana}} songs."
**
"Look, she's... naked, with her naked, nude body... nakeding everywhere!"
Changed line(s) 409 (click to see context) from:
* The descriptions of Miley twerking on Robin Thicke ("It's like ''Film/TheHumanCentipede'' of music").
to:
* The descriptions of On Miley twerking on Robin Thicke ("It's licking a sledgehammer in the video: "Mmm, tastes like ''Film/TheHumanCentipede'' of music").drywall. You realize that thing was probably used to remove an old toilet from a remodeled bathroom, right?"
*
-->'''Todd:''' Like...ok, she's naked on a wrecking ball. What else is there to talk about? See, she's riding a giant ball. It's subtle. Here, let me make it even subtler for you.
-->'''[[Music/{{ACDC}} Bon Scott:]]''' (playing over the video) ♪We've got big balls\ Dirty big balls\ He's got big balls\ She's got big balls♪
*
-->'''Todd:''' Like...ok, she's naked on a wrecking ball. What else is there to talk about? See, she's riding a giant ball. It's subtle. Here, let me make it even subtler for you.
-->'''[[Music/{{ACDC}} Bon Scott:]]''' (playing over the video) ♪We've got big balls\ Dirty big balls\ He's got big balls\ She's got big balls♪
-->'''Todd:''' See, where it all went wrong is pretty obvious. Not everyone operates on the same comfort level or expectations. You can't just tear down someone's boundaries; you only end up unsatisfied and pushed even further away. So if you got that reaction from someone, you obviously were pushing too hard and you need to learn something about caring and understanding and respect.
-->(Phone rings)
-->'''Elisa:''' Hey, Todd. Paw and I were wondering if you still wanted to come over and catch up on True Blood.
-->Todd: STOP SMOTHERING ME!!!
-->(Phone rings)
-->'''Elisa:''' Hey, Todd. Paw and I were wondering if you still wanted to come over and catch up on True Blood.
-->Todd: STOP SMOTHERING ME!!!
Changed line(s) 413 (click to see context) from:
* A subtle one: The review's title isn't "Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus"... it's "Wrecking Ball by ''Series/HannahMontana''".
to:
* A subtle one: The review's title isn't "Wrecking Ball by Todd's {{Mondegreen}}'s of the song.
--> '''Miley''': "All you ever did was ra-a-ape me!" [[note]]The actual lyrics read "Wreck me".[[/note]] \\
'''Todd''': "That's literally all I can hear there. I spent the longest time trying to convince myself that MileyCyrus"... it's "Wrecking Ball by ''Series/HannahMontana''".was just singing about her favorite Music/{{Nirvana}} songs."
--> '''Miley''': "All you ever did was ra-a-ape me!" [[note]]The actual lyrics read "Wreck me".[[/note]] \\
'''Todd''': "That's literally all I can hear there. I spent the longest time trying to convince myself that Miley
* To underscore the obvious testicle metaphors in the song's video, Todd plays "[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Chocolate Salty Balls (P.S. I Love You)]]" over the credits.
Changed line(s) 427,431 (click to see context) from:
* When TheFourChordsOfPop appear yet again:
--> ''Todd:'' Pop Song Cho--''[[ScreamerPrank AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!]]''
* After noting how both One Direction and [=OneRepublic=] have won him over this year, he wonders briefly if he needs to watch ''Series/OneTreeHill'' again.
* He complains that the music of "Demons" doesn't make him imagine demons, and certainly doesn't make him imagine dragons. Though he gives it a good attempt... but can only imagine [[Music/{{Train}} Hefty]] [[CallBack bags]], [[StopHelpingMe Clippy from Microsoft Office]] and Jacob from ''Film/{{Twilight}}''.
* He compares the lyrics of "Demons" to "[[WesternAnimation/{{Daria}} Freakin' Friends]]".
--> ''Todd:'' Pop Song Cho--''[[ScreamerPrank AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!]]''
* After noting how both One Direction and [=OneRepublic=] have won him over this year, he wonders briefly if he needs to watch ''Series/OneTreeHill'' again.
* He complains that the music of "Demons" doesn't make him imagine demons, and certainly doesn't make him imagine dragons. Though he gives it a good attempt... but can only imagine [[Music/{{Train}} Hefty]] [[CallBack bags]], [[StopHelpingMe Clippy from Microsoft Office]] and Jacob from ''Film/{{Twilight}}''.
* He compares the lyrics of "Demons" to "[[WesternAnimation/{{Daria}} Freakin' Friends]]".
to:
* "Man, I'm being awfully pleasantly surprised lately by things I hate that begin with "one." Maybe I should try watching Series/OneTreeHill again. ...No."
* "This is just the blandest thing. It's boring, uncreative, lifeless, bog-standard adult-alternative complete with the famous four chords of pop. Pop song ch[[ScreamerPrank AAAAHHHH!!!"]]
*
-->'''Todd:''' The lyric structure is actually really corny.
-->'''Dan Reynolds:''' ♪When the days are cold\ And the cards all fold\ And the saints we see\ Are all made of gold\ WhenTheFourChordsOfPop appear yet again:
--> ''Todd:'' Pop Song Cho--''[[ScreamerPrank AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!]]''
* After noting how both One Direction and [=OneRepublic=] have won him over this year, he wonders briefly if he needs to watch ''Series/OneTreeHill'' again.
* He complains thatyour dreams...♪
-->'''[[WesternAnimation/{{Daria}} Trent Lane:]]''' ♪When themusic of "Demons" doesn't make him imagine demons, and certainly doesn't make him imagine dragons. Though he gives it a good attempt... but can only imagine [[Music/{{Train}} Hefty]] [[CallBack bags]], [[StopHelpingMe Clippy from Microsoft Office]] and Jacob from ''Film/{{Twilight}}''.
* He compareswhip comes down\ When they nuke the lyrics of "Demons" to "[[WesternAnimation/{{Daria}} Freakin' Friends]]".town\ When dead clowns can't clown\ We'll still be freakin' friends♪
* "This is just the blandest thing. It's boring, uncreative, lifeless, bog-standard adult-alternative complete with the famous four chords of pop. Pop song ch[[ScreamerPrank AAAAHHHH!!!"]]
*
-->'''Todd:''' The lyric structure is actually really corny.
-->'''Dan Reynolds:''' ♪When the days are cold\ And the cards all fold\ And the saints we see\ Are all made of gold\ When
--> ''Todd:'' Pop Song Cho--''[[ScreamerPrank AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!]]''
* After noting how both One Direction and [=OneRepublic=] have won him over this year, he wonders briefly if he needs to watch ''Series/OneTreeHill'' again.
* He complains that
-->'''[[WesternAnimation/{{Daria}} Trent Lane:]]''' ♪When the
* He compares
Added DiffLines:
* "Listening to this does not make me imagine any demons, and it certainly doesn't make me imagine any dragons. Let me try. (cue images of [[Music/{{Train}} Hefty]] [[CallBack bags]], [[StopHelpingMe Clippy from Microsoft Office]] and Jacob from ''Film/{{Twilight}}) Nothing."
* "[=OneRepublic=] gets off the shit list. Congratulations. You guys are no longer the poor man's Music/SnowPatrol. You are now the middle-income earner's Snow Patrol!"
* "[=OneRepublic=] gets off the shit list. Congratulations. You guys are no longer the poor man's Music/SnowPatrol. You are now the middle-income earner's Snow Patrol!"
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Changed line(s) 430 (click to see context) from:
* He complains that the music of "Demons" doesn't make him imagine demons, and certainly doesn't make him imagine dragons. Though he gives it a good attempt... but can only imagine [[Music/{{Train}} Hefty bags]], [[StopHelpingMe Clippy from Microsoft Office]] and Jacob from ''Film/{{Twilight}}''.
to:
* He complains that the music of "Demons" doesn't make him imagine demons, and certainly doesn't make him imagine dragons. Though he gives it a good attempt... but can only imagine [[Music/{{Train}} Hefty Hefty]] [[CallBack bags]], [[StopHelpingMe Clippy from Microsoft Office]] and Jacob from ''Film/{{Twilight}}''.
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** "Mmm, the way you do me?"
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** "Mmm, the way you do me?"me?" [[labelnote:*]] He considers this line worst than the Hefty bag line [[/labelnote]]
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* "[Robin Thicke] comes across as a poor man's Justin Timberlake, an impression not helped by the fact that his biggest hit now has him working with T.I. and Pharrell. For Christ's sakes, you wanna be Justin that badly, you might as well just start hosting SNL and not talking to other Music/NSync members."
to:
* "[Robin Thicke] comes across as a poor man's Justin Timberlake, an impression not helped by the fact that his biggest hit now has him working with T.I. and Pharrell. For Christ's sakes, you wanna be Justin that badly, you might as well just start hosting SNL and not talking to other Music/NSync Music/{{NSYNC}} members."
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* Todd apologizing to Lady Gaga for "Applause," as she admits to craving fame and not making up not-very-serious hardships.
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-->'''Todd''': It wasn't anything special, it was okay, but there is no way in the universe that Pitbull should be going for a mood any more serious than… (''high pitched scream'') … that thing he does.
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-->'''Todd''': It wasn't anything special, it was okay, but there is no way in the universe that Pitbull should be going for a mood any more serious than… than… (''high pitched scream'') … that thing he does.
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* Todd's deep, ten-second groan upon realizing the song is about the difficulties of being a celebrity.
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--->'''Todd''': [LL Cool J] made "Mama Said Knock You Out". I think he deserves a little more credit than the guy who wrote "I wanna check you for ticks".
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--->'''Todd''': [LL Cool J] made "Mama Said Knock You Out". I think he deserves a little more credit than the guy who wrote "I wanna check you for ticks".ticks"!
** The entire context for this video is makes it especially hilarious considering the racial undertones, because Todd, the white guy (we think), is attacking the white country singer but defending LL Cool J, while Rap Critic (who's black) is attacking the black rapper but defending Brad Paisley .
** The entire context for this video is makes it especially hilarious considering the racial undertones, because Todd, the white guy (we think), is attacking the white country singer but defending LL Cool J, while Rap Critic (who's black) is attacking the black rapper but defending Brad Paisley .
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*** To explain, after cheerfully revealing that ''everyone'' can agree that the song is terrible, Todd then goes on to say that it made Brad Paisley look dumb. The Rap Critic, however, says it makes ''LL Cool J'' look dumb. This eventually snowballs into the argument about ([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer not even kidding]]) whether or not ''LL Cool J did anything of note'', ultimately leading to the two of the trading blows about their previous arguments.
to:
*** To explain, after cheerfully revealing that ''everyone'' can agree that the song is terrible, Todd then goes on to say that it made Brad Paisley look dumb. The Rap Critic, however, says it makes ''LL Cool J'' look dumb. This eventually snowballs into the argument about ([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer not even kidding]]) whether or not ''LL Cool J did anything of note'', ultimately leading to the two of the them trading blows about their previous arguments.
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* Rap Critic's swift shift in reactions towards Marilyn Monroe's ghost appearing to Nicki.
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* Rap Critic's swift shift in reactions towards Marilyn Monroe's ghost appearing to Nicki.Nicki as a sort of continuation to her original MarilynMonroe song.
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-->'''Rap Critic:''' Wait, the ghost of MarilynMonroe is telling you to come with her underneath your sheets? ...[[GirlOnGirlIsHot Niiice!]]
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-->'''Rap Critic:''' Wait, the ghost of MarilynMonroe Marilyn Monroe is telling you to come with her underneath your sheets? ...[[GirlOnGirlIsHot Niiice!]]
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-->'''Rap Critic''': This is like if ''Film/DudeWheresMyCar'' was literally just two guys in a parking lot looking for their car.
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-->'''Rap Critic''': This is like if ''Film/DudeWheresMyCar'' ''[[Film/DudeWheresMyCar Dude, Where's My Car]]'' was literally just two guys in a parking lot looking for their car.
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-->'''Rap Critic:''' Wait, the ghost of Marilyn Monroe is telling you to come with her underneath your sheets? ...[[GirlOnGirlIsHot Niiice!]]
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-->'''Rap Critic:''' Wait, the ghost of Marilyn Monroe MarilynMonroe is telling you to come with her underneath your sheets? ...[[GirlOnGirlIsHot Niiice!]]
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* ""Applause-plause" is the most inane-nane thing I've ever heard-heard!"
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* ""Applause-plause" "And speaking of silly, made-up words, look, I get that Lady Gaga likes her nonsense syllables, but I do have a limit. And even realizing that I'm talking about a person who regularly lets her mouth let out things like 'ma-ma-ma-ma', 'rah-rah-ah-ah-ah', 'cherry cherry boom boom', and 'I'm worried about people stealing my creativity through my vagina,' even acknowledging that... 'Applause-plause" is still the most inane-nane thing I've ever heard-heard!"heard-heard."
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[[folder:Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2012]]
* On "50 Ways to Say Goodbye"
-->'''''Behind the Music'' narrator''': (''on Music/{{Train}}'') They're the quintessential American band.
-->'''Todd''': …Excuse me. What?
-->'''Narrator''': They're the quintessential American band.
-->'''Todd''': Holy ''crap'', VH-1. I don't think I've even heard Al-Qaeda say anything that anti-American.
* On "Back in Time", which is #8 on the list:
--> "Number 8? Are you sure this isn't 'numbuh twoooooo'?"
** Also, the answer on to why this song got made.
--> "I can only conclude... [[Series/AncientAliens Aliens]]."
* Todd's annoyance at Cher Lloyd's "Want U Back".
-->'''Cher''': ♪And now you're taking her to every restaurant♪
-->'''Todd''': Every single restaurant, huh? Gosh, how dare your ex take his new girlfriend on, gasp, ''dates''? '''Shut up!'''
** Likewise:
-->'''Cher Lloyd''': ♪Tryin' to rock them ugly jeans jeans jeans♪
-->'''Todd''': ...and if ''I'' may be bitchy in return: Oh, honey! I don't think someone who dresses like a 50-year-old mob wife from Long Island should be criticizing other people's fashion! Tchaa!
** And to close it off, ala the closing line of the song:
-->'''Todd''': ''(British accent)'' That's the sound of trying too hard... ''Pfft!''
* "*gasp* [[Music/BritneySpears She]] called me a bitch!"
* On "Whistle": (#4)
** "Fittingly enough, a song called 'Whistle' totally BLOWS!"
** "Here's what needs to be said about Flo Rida..." (cut to black screen with one tiny word in white: [nothing])
* "All of [Adam Levine's] 'woe is me' bad relationship songs always sound like a backdoor way to brag about all the hot sex he's having. 'Oh, we're so bad for each other, but we just lay in bed and bone each other all day. It's so awful, woe is me.' ''Eat me, Levine.''"
* Hefty bag!?
** "Pat Monahan hates music, romance, the English language, and ''you.''"
* His summary of "Too Close" by Alex Clare: "I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEEEEOPLLLLLE! I'M NOT REALLY FEELING OUR RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOWWWWWW!"
* "You've got that 'one thing,' teenage female fan. You've got that one, unnamed 'thing' that makes me love you, wherever you are, whoever you are, y'know, that one generic 'thing,' generic love interest...''swoon, dammit!''"
* Todd's attempt to comprehend the metaphors in "Domino", after he acknowledges its performer, Jessie J, as a blatant KatyPerry knockoff.
* "I just want to reiterate that OneDirection are f[[SoundEffectBleep *]]cking awful."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2012]]
* In introducing "Young, Wild, & Free", Todd rattles off a string of Music/SnoopDogg-esque "-izzle" talk.
--> "It's yo T-O-double-dizzle, in the shizzle fo' rizzle, givin' up for that Snoop D-O-double-gizzle, my nizzle. [[NWordPrivileges Am I allowed to say 'nizzle'?"]]
* While praising "Young, Wild, & Free," Todd notes that it's from the soundtrack of Mac and Devin Go to High School'', a movie he wasn't even sure existed. As a bit of {{Foreshadowing}} to his next episode...
--> ''It doesn't sound like a great movie, to be honest. But this song makes such a good case for it, I kind of want to see it anyway. [[HilariousInHindsight I hope I don't regret saying that.]]
* WebVideo/TheRapCritic's utter shock and disgust at Todd putting a Flo Rida song on the list at number 9.
** "Flo Rida: The least interesting man in the world. Stay boring, my friends."
** "Flo Rida's main gift has always been finding great hooks, and this is probably his best yet. It samples a song that I really love. This is from a song called "Piano in the Dark" by Brenda Russell. It's about a woman who can't ever leave her lover because she's too impossibly attracted to him when [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything he plays his piano under the cover of darkness.]] I don't know what it is. This song, it just speaks to me. I really like it."
** It's especially notable when considering the Rap Critic already reviewed the song that Todd put up, and he reasonably gave it a 2/5.
* "Let me share with you a game I found on the Internet. It's called Kanye Zone, and the object of the game is to prevent Kanye from getting in his zone. You know what happens when you let Kanye in his zone? He impregnates Kim Kardashian. Yeah, so don't let Kanye in his zone. That is gonna be one seriously screwed-up child."
* "Imagine Dragons is apparently an anagram for the band's original name, but they've never revealed what that was. Many people have guessed at what the original name was, including Greasing Domain, Insomnia Dagger, and my personal favourite, Gonad Migraines, which is what I'm going to call them from now on. Good luck, Gonad Migraines. Looking for good things from you."
* His celebration that Katy Perry did not make the list...
-->'''Todd:''' [gleefully] ''[[Film/TotalRecall1990 CONSIDER THIS A DIVORCE]]!''
* ...Promptly followed by "Die Young" by Ke$ha making it on.
** "[[Music/TheWho Meet the new boss, same as the old boss]]."
** "You see? She ''does'' have emotions! Besides being about to spew."
** "I have no problem grooving to "Die Young", even though it's still recognizably Ke$ha, the obnoxiously crude party girl. But it's better Ke$ha. Earlier Ke$ha was like nasty bathtub moonshine, and this is Ke$ha distilled and refined. If you like your Ke$ha undiluted, I imagine you won't have much for this, but I prefer stuff that won't rot your gut.
* "You know, it's funny that Bruno Mars should rip off Music/ThePolice, seeing as he hasn't exactly had the best luck with the police. Just saying."
* During the song Lights. The answer to what are the lights.
-->"[[CallBack I can only conclude... Aliens,]]" or Ghosts or even [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs Alien Ghosts]]
* He laughs at the thought of the Owl City guy "[waking] up with a Prince song in [his] head":
-->'''Todd''': What, you mean ''this'' Prince?
-->''cue "Pussy Control"''
* On Music/TobyKeith's "Red Solo Cup": "This song is hilarious, and I will hear no word from anyone who disagrees."
-->'''Toby Keith''': [[ManipulativeEditing Kiss my ass]].
* On Adele's "Skyfall" getting an honorable mention:
-->"Boy, this is the best James Bond theme in a while, isn't it? Wow, this really deserved to be on the list, right? Gosh, wouldn't I have looked much less stupid if I'd put this on the list instead of Flo Rida? *sigh*"
* His response to "Gangnam Style" making it as a honorable mention after doing a review of it?
-->"It grew on me. Shut up."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Mac and Devin Go To High School]]
* Todd introducing Andy Milonakis's character as "Andy Milonakis of 'Hey, whatever happened to Andy Milonakis?' fame".
-->'''WebVideo/TheRapCritic''': You remember, the man who physically looks like he's twelve years old but mentally... acts like he's twelve years old? [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Yeah, this movie's gonna suck.]]
* Todd mistaking the talking joint Slow Burn for the banana from the [[MemeticMutation "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" meme]].
* The really deadpan reaction to two bad jokes back to back.
-->'''Woman''': It's bigger than anything I've ever seen!
-->'''Todd''': Get it? It sounds like they're talking about sex.
--> '''Both''' **Bored out of their minds**: Hahahahahaha.
--> *Later*
--> '''Todd''': Get it? Look at that joint. It's... bigger than a regular size joint.
--> '''Both''' **still bored**: Hahahahahaha.
* About principal Skinnfloot just preparing expulsion papers for Mac instead of having him arrested for selling pot to minors.
--> '''Todd''': Get it? He's (Snoop) a ''MAC'', and he's (the principal) a ''PC'', which stands for '''"Poorly-written Character"'''.
* Remarking on the misleading title of the movie:
-->'''Todd''': Mac and Devin go to high school ''because they're in high school.'' They might as well have called it ''Mac and Devin Breathe Oxygen.''
-->'''Rap Critic''': This is like if ''Film/DudeWheresMyCar'' was literally just two guys in a parking lot looking for their car.
* [[CaptainObvious Todd spoiling the incredibly obvious solution to Mac & Devin's science project:]]
-->'''Todd:''' It's pot. [...] It's pot! The missing ingredient is pot. Spoilers: the missing ingredient is going to be pot. In this movie which revolves entirely around pot, in which two characters literally are pot, yes, the science project will be rescued with pot. Sorry for giving that away, it was gonna be mind-blowing when you found out.
** [[BrickJoke Then, the caption when Mac makes said discovery:]] "And now, the shocking reveal! Turns out, the secret ingredient is..."
* After the stupefyingly disgusting [[ItMakesSenseInContext fart pot trick]]:
-->'''Rap Critic''': Dude...she just farted. That was it! She just [[{{Squick}} farted and he sucked it into his mouth!]]
-->'''Todd''': Remember kids, if you smoke pot, you too can be this cool!
* Snoop gets two girls, but declines the threesome, suggesting the girls to make out instead, which is what they immediately do:
-->'''Rap Critic''': Huh. I don't know whether to be offended because it was so sexist... or because it wasn't even a [[GirlOnGirlIsHot little hot]].
* The Rap Critic commenting [[MushroomSamba on the surreal hallucinations Mac and Devlin have while high]].
--->'''Rap Critic''': Is...is this what's supposed to happen when you're high on weed? 'Cause...'cause that's not what happens. What happens is stuff becomes funnier and music slightly speeds up. Chemically, the effects of weed are actually kind of mundane.
--->'''Todd''': ''[{{beat}}]'' Wait a minute, since when do you know so much about getting high?
--->'''Rap Critic''': ''[defensively]'' What are you, a cop?
* The final graduation speech turns into the song "Young, Wild and Free":
-->'''Rap Critic''': ... And then they kindly escort him off stage and don't let him graduate.
** Then Slow Burn (the animated joint) starts to give an "inspirational speech" about pot.
--->'''Rap Critic''': Really?? A pseudo-inspirational speech about weed. You guys made '''this''' (the scene of the fart-pot), AND YOU CLEARLY DID IT WHILE HIGH. So do you really think now is the time to tell us that weed is a good thing?!
---> '''Todd''': Holy Christ. I don't want someone lecturing me about why marijuana should be legal. I live in the Internet. I've heard it.
* The WhereAreTheyNowEpilogue, which parodies the film's own:
-->"Rap Critic went on to become a mega-platinum selling rapper and was connected by the tabloids to Music/KatyPerry, Music/{{Rihanna}}, Music/SelenaGomez and Creator/ScarlettJohansson."
-->"Todd never found his usual gray hoodie and had to go buy a new one at Target."
-->"He says his old one was more comfortable."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Girl on Fire]]
* Todd's revelation that his roommates kicked him out again, followed by this lovely cutaway:
-->'''Todd''': Oh my God, this song sucks so much! Like, I can't even—
-->'''Roommate''': Shut up!
-->'''Todd''': I'm working! Do you want me to pay rent this month or not?
-->'''Roommate''': You haven't paid rent in four months, and it's 2 in the morning!
-->'''Todd''': I have to film when it's dark!
* Todd describing Music/AliciaKeys' "ragged, minimalist 'No One'": "Bash, Thud, Thud, Thud, Bash, Thud, Thud, Thud, Bash, Thud, Thud, Thud, Bash, Thud, Bash, Bash, Honk..HONK!"
* Todd makes it look like he originally planned reviewing the plain version of "Girl on Fire", but the "Inferno" remix with NickiMinaj plays instead. Enter WebVideo/TheRapCritic again.
-->'''Todd''': Okay, dude, you gotta stop doing this. This is, like, the third video in a row you've butted in on.\\
'''Rap Critic''': Oh, I'm sorry for bailing your obviously unprepared self from this floundering review. Now let's keep listening.
* Rap Critic's swift shift in reactions towards Marilyn Monroe's ghost appearing to Nicki.
-->'''Nicki:''' ♪ ...Tellin' me to come with her/Underneath my comforter♪
-->'''Rap Critic:''' Wait, the ghost of Marilyn Monroe is telling you to come with her underneath your sheets? ...[[GirlOnGirlIsHot Niiice!]]
-->'''Nicki:''' ♪And she brought a gun with her♪
-->'''Rap Critic:''' [[OhCrap ...Oh.]]
-->'''Nicki:''' ♪Pills and some rum with her♪
-->'''Rap Critic:''' Oh...o-OH!
-->'''Nicki:''' ♪ Took me on the balcony/Tellin' me to jump with her♪
-->'''Rap Critic:''' She REALLY didn't like that song, did she?!
*
-->'''Todd:''' At this point, they might as well have just renamed the song "Girl Doing Stuff". ♪This girl is doing things This girl is doing stuff♪ Ok, she's on fire, the world's on fire. She is fire. She's a flame on fire. This fire is on fire. Her eyes are on fire. Everything is on fire. Fire, fire, and fire. Film/ManOnFire, [[Music/TheDoors Light My Fire]], Film/FireDownBelow. I am the god of hellfire, and I bring you...
-->'''[[WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButtHead Beavis]]:''' Fire! Fire! Fire!
* Todd's reaction to a scene that has Alicia Keys [[MakesAsMuchSenseInContext using magic that has her snapping her fingers to clean up a room.]]
-->'''Todd''': ♪[[Film/MaryPoppins Well, the girl who's on fire helps the medicine go down! Medicine go down...]]♪
* The Rap Critic's appearances coming out of nowhere, mocking the remix featuring Music/NickiMinaj, [[AWildRapperAppears and how her rap verses seem to come out of nowhere]], with no transition back into the main song.
** The hint of FridgeBrilliance when the Rap Critic comes in near the end when talking about Nicki Minaj returning for another verse.
-->'''Todd''': All this song is is a creatively exhaustive, meaningless pile of-
-->'''Rap Critic''': And then the featured guest randomly comes back in, ruining the momentum of the video!
* Rap Critic's reaction to the line "And in my backyard, there's a deer, God":
-->'''Rap Critic as God''': "Thank you, Nicki Minaj, but I know what a deer is! I kind of made them. I'm not sure if anyone has informed you, but in North America, they're pretty common. Wait a minute, why am I even listening to this? They didn't even bother to get a good green screen effect!"
-->'''Todd''': You ''done''?!
-->'''Rap Critic''': Yes, yes I am.
** After that scene, he then talks about how unrelated Nicki Minaj's verses were and dismissing how the song is about God, while then unintentionally makes similarities about how the song actually relates to God.
-->'''Todd''': Holy crap, this song ''is about God''! [...] Alicia Keys is singing about a vengeful fire goddess burning down the whole world with her merciless wrath!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Little Things]]
* "These guys have no goddamn personality, they're '''all''' 'The Cute One'."
* "One Direction are trying to [[SoundEffectBleep f*ck]] your daughter!"
* "One Direction singing a white guy with acoustic guitar song. This is my '''HELL'''."
* Todd referring to "white guy with acoustic guitar songs" by the amusing acronym, "W.G.W.A.G." (pronounced "wigwag".)
*
--> '''[This is] a miserable load of dishonest dreck straight from the "fuck me, I'm sensitive" school of songwriting. It's a love song to a sad, misunderstood girl. This is like all the other One Direction songs boiled down to their essence. See, this is them confirming exactly what they like about you. Things.
--> '''One Direction:''' ♪You've got that one thing!♪
--> '''Todd:''' You know...things. See, they're talking about you. You have things. That's what they love about you, your things. Their favourite little thing about you is your qualities. But a close second is your attributes.
*
--> '''Zayn Malik''': ♪Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me, but bear this mind it was meant to be♪
--> '''Todd''': Yeah, that's how I know we're meant to be-- Your hand fits in mine. I mean you're nothing like the last girl I dated; she had these ''gigantic'' mitts the size of footballs, I couldn't get my hand around them at all, but you, you're special!
* "This isn't even good for a white guy with acoustic guitar song. At least your average acoustic guitar player fakes sincerity just by virtue of not being a pre-fab reality show boy band. Spare minimal accompaniment is supposed to create the aura of a more personal one-to-one connection, which you can't really pull off when there's '''FIVE OF YOU.''"
* "This girl has insecurities up the yin-yang! She also has insecurities ''about'' her yin yang after she read all those articles about how to slim down your yin-yang."
* "I know you worry that you have bad breath, but you don't, I promise. And I don't at all notice that you have really bad skin and that you pick your nose in public and that all your jokes are really bad and that weird mole on your back and that you kiss about as well as a discarded fish head and that your best friend is way hotter than you and that your laugh sounds like two chainsaws having sex and that you constantly derail conversations by talking about the things you dislike about yourself and fishing for compliments and that... Actually, when I lay it all out like that, I'm not sure what I do like about you. You know, maybe we should see other people."
* "I'm Todd In The Shadows saying: always remember that I love you...because of the little things. And by 'little things', I obviously didn't mean your stomach or your thighs. Those things are huge! I wrote a song about it, you wanna hear? ♪Oh, I don't care you're ugly/I don't care you're stupid♪ -- Hey, where're you going?"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Scream and Shout]]
* "I know it's a cheap shot to compare dance songs to highbrow music in a completely different genre. But still going from those other bands (Music/CoheedAndCambria and Music/BenFolds) to this is like going from eating at the Ritz to chewing on some disgusting Hungry Man TV dinner. Even for processed frozen food, that stuff's not good. You sure you don't wanna get the Boston Market dinners or the Stouffer's? It's right there next to it. Or just some Hot Pockets. What's wrong with Hot Pockets? Why the hell would you want that Hungry Man crap?! Cause it comes with a brownie?! You realize when you open it, the corn is just gonna have slopped over onto it! That's gross! Come on, you can eat better than that! What the hell?! Sorry, I bought some groceries the other day I regret. The point is will.i.am sucks!" [[note]]He's right about what happens to the brownies...[[/note]]
** Amusingly, [[https://twitter.com/ShadowTodd/status/316435925225832450 he explained on his Twitter]] [[https://twitter.com/ShadowTodd/status/316436178733764608 that he had been saving this gag ever since 2007]], when he got very angry from eating a "Hungry Man" followed by watching ''WesternAnimation/{{Ratatouille}}''.
* Todd explaining the song's presence on his Worst of 2012 list:
-->'''Todd''':Why didn't I just say nothing and save my material for a full review?"
-->'''Todd''' (''Cut to Worst of 2012 video''): I was gonna give this one a full review, but it's likely going to be gone by the time I finish these Top 10 lists, so I might as well just tackle it now.
-->'''Todd''': Oh, Todd. Oh, you poor dear. [[CallBack Todd-stradamus]] strikes again. Cross yet another one off the list of Todd's predictions for 2013.
-->(''cut to a list reading "New Pope is a 2-year-old girl, Film/{{Battleship}} sweeps Oscars, Grammys, Nobels, Mayan Apocalypse happens 2 months late, [[Series/TheTonightShow Jay Leno]] is America's sweetheart, and 'Scream and Shout' goes the f*** away"'')
* "[will.i.am's] songs [[EarWorm have a way of getting lodged in your brain.]] It all makes sense when you listen to the musical pioneers that will.i.am takes his inspiration from, like car alarms, jackhammers, vacuum cleaners, your neighbors having sex, the dripping faucet that keeps you awake at night. will.i.am has found a way to turn every awful, clattering, obnoxious sound into chart success."
* "There is no way this was only the fifth-worst song of the year. What was above this on my Worst list? 'Whistle'? Yeah, this is way worse than "Whistle". Bump up will.i.am to #4. (Later on) God, what was #3 on my worst list? 'One More Night'? Christ, what was I thinking? Shit, bump this up another slot. (Later still) God, what was #2 on my Worst list? 'Drive By'? ...ok, hold off on that one."
* At the song's suggestion, Todd decides to try [[spoiler:literally screaming and shouting.]]
-->"THIS IS NOT MAKING ME FEEL BETTER! IT'S KINDA MAKING IT WORSE!"
** And he ends the video with trying it again.
-->"So until next time, I'm Todd in the Shadows saying [[spoiler:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!]]"
*
-->'''Britney:''' ♪When you hear this in the club, you're gotta turn this shit up♪
-->'''Todd:''' When I hear this in the club, I gotta turn this shit up? No, I do not. I mean, how even would I? I'm not the DJ, that's his job. And if I did have access to the DJ booth, I can think of things I'd do long before adjusting the volume.
-->'''Jeff Pescetto:''' ♪WesternAnimation/DuckTales, Woo-ooo!♪
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Thrift Shop vs. Suit & Tie]]
* I don't know about you, but having Todd equate Music/{{Macklemore}} as the ''Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey'' of music and then having the caption immediately afterwards saying "[[BigNo NO]]" to that kind of makes one think if he did it intentionally or not. If not, then it certainly counts as an unintentional bit of humor there.
* Todd's "ecletic sense of fashion" i.e. [[LimitedWardrobe a closet full of]] [[InTheHood hoodies]].
** His "gray un-hoodie" is just a gray, long-sleeved shirt.
* The first impression review:
-->'''Justin Timberlake:''' ♪Ooh, I be on my suit and tie shit, tie shit, tie♪\\
'''Todd:''' Wait, what is he saying? I cannot be hearing that right. "Shit tie, shit tie." Hey, maybe I can have Justin's style after all. I've got a few shit ties. (Garfield, Shrek, the Three Stooges and guitars) Yeah. Am I really that hard to buy birthday presents for? Pfft. Thanks, everybody. And Macklemore, what's your first line in your song?\\
'''Macklemore:''' ♪Walk up to the club like, "What up, I got a big cock!"♪\\
'''Todd:''' *{{beat}}* I can't argue with that. Point: Macklemore.
* The ''ThirtyRock'' Reference brought on by a JayZ line.
--> '''Jay-Z''': ♪This is trouble season/Time for tuxedos for no reason♪
--> '''Todd''': Yes. Jay-Z has officially become Jack Donaghy.
--> '''Liz''': Why are you wearing a tux!?
--> '''Jack''': It's after six, what am I, a farmer?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Accidental Racist]]
* The attempt at a CrossOver with TheRapCritic.
-->'''Todd:''' All righty. I'll start. Now, me personally, I think the song is awful.
-->'''Rap Critic''': Yeah, me too.
-->(''Both of them stare at each other blankly, saying nothing.'')
-->'''Todd:''' Well, I think we're done.
-->'''Rap Critic''': Okay, that was easy!
* When Todd and WebVideo/TheRapCritic get into a heated argument about the song, a sign appears stating technical difficulties.
** And right after the "technical difficulties" sign goes away, there's an angry silence, and as soon as they open their mouths they both go back into arguing over each other. At this point, we cut to the credits [[spoiler: set to "[[SoundtrackDissonance Ebony and Ivory]]"]].
*** To explain, after cheerfully revealing that ''everyone'' can agree that the song is terrible, Todd then goes on to say that it made Brad Paisley look dumb. The Rap Critic, however, says it makes ''LL Cool J'' look dumb. This eventually snowballs into the argument about ([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer not even kidding]]) whether or not ''LL Cool J did anything of note'', ultimately leading to the two of the trading blows about their previous arguments.
--->'''Todd''': [LL Cool J] made "Mama Said Knock You Out". I think he deserves a little more credit than the guy who wrote "I wanna check you for ticks".
* Usually, Todd's disclaimer is "[Song] owned by [Record Label]. This video owned by me." Accidental Racist? "Accidental Racist owned by Arista Nashville. This video disowned by me."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Feel This Moment]]
* The video opens with Todd looking for a song to review, but finding most of the songs on the charts to be boring.
--> '''Todd:''' What's the worst song out now?
--> Cue a picture of Pitbull with the Microsoft "Ta-da!" sound effect.
--> '''Todd:''' You again?!
* "Well, that Pitbull's still around, he's...still stupid. Okay, let me see if I can recap my feelings about Armando Perez, aka Pitbull, aka Mr. 305, aka Mr. Worldwide, aka, this frickin' guy, Jesus, I feel like I've already done dozens of episodes on him, for Christ's sake!"
* "Around about 2010 or so, I was complaining a lot about how the charts were dominated by a genre I like to call 'club shit'. I — I came up with that myself."
* As a followup to the "club shit" refusing to be swept away entirely:
-->'''Todd''': Sure, B-listers like LMFAO went away, but the bigger names like will.i.am, Ke$ha, Flo Rida, they just dug in their heels and refused to move. They laugh at the attempts to make them move, they taunt us from their muddy fortress.
-->'''Creator/JohnCleese''': [[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail I fart in your general direction.]]
-->'''Todd''': That they do. Now most of these acts opted not to change their MO in any substantial way, unless you count will.i.am's decision to somehow get worse.
* "You know, hey. Fun experiment I just thought of right now for this episode. It's gonna be like a 'choose your own adventure' review. See, the way it works is— you listen to the song and write all the jokes and make all the insighftul criticism, while I put on my headphones and listen to some Music/SarahMcLachlan. How's that? Try it out. Do it now. Start now." (''pause'') "This is not gonna work. I don't even like Sarah [=McLachlan=]!"
* On Pitbull's last song:
-->'''Todd''': It wasn't anything special, it was okay, but there is no way in the universe that Pitbull should be going for a mood any more serious than… (''high pitched scream'') … that thing he does.
-->(''cue clip of the Goofy holler'')
-->'''Todd''': No, not that.
-->'''Pitbull''': '''''PARTY!!!'''''
-->'''Todd''': Yeah, that. It's harder than it looks, I'll give him that.
* [[http://i.imgur.com/5q6jA.jpg Todd's artistic rendering of the Best Buy he used to work at.]]
* When discussing songs that are lazy with their sampling (citing [=DrunkenMunkey=]'s "E", a 2002 house song which was just a sample from Eminem's "Without Me" repeated ad nauseam):
--> '''Todd''': This is just like [[Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg of one of those shitty spoof movies referencing some famous movie, but not actually having a joke with it.]]
-->(''clip from'' Disaster Movie)
-->'''Todd''': Right? Like, this is the laziest, worst, stupidest use of samples since… oh, gee, the '''''last''''' Pitbull song I reviewed!
* Todd's way of pointing out how often Pitbull mentions traveling in his songs.
-->'''Pitbull:''' The tallest building in Tokyo--Brazil, Morocco, London to Ibiza--Beirut--Cape Canaveral--Mumbai--Morocco--Helsinki--Malaysia--
-->'''[[WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}} Yakko Warner]]:''' ♪United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru!♪
* Todd deciding to sample his old reviews and finding out it doesn't always work.
-->'''Pitbull:''' ♪Reporting live from the tallest building in Tokyo♪
-->'''Clip!Todd:''' It's nice that you travel around the world, Pitbull, but you're not writing an Indiana Jones theme. Like, the Men in Black, they basically stay in New York. There are three movies and they don't generally leave New York.
-->'''Todd:''' Ok, that sample didn't quite fit. But neither does the sample for "Feel This Moment"! Meta-commentary!
* This:
-->'''Todd''': Oh right, right. Pitbull's trying to work with every Latino singer, basically. [Music/ChristinaAguilera]'s Hispanic. In that she has a Hispanic last name, and [[ButNotTooBlack pretty much no other connection to her Latino side at all]]. Hey, y'all remember when she released that Spanish album?
-->'''Christina Aguilera''': ♪Que tengo encasa quien suena con verme llegar♪
-->'''Todd''': Yeah, that was pretty hilarious. If I recall correctly, she spoke Spanish like [[WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill Peggy Hill]].
-->'''Peggy''' (''clip from "Lupe's Revenge"''') Yo poder ver que usted ser caballo razonable.
-->'''Subtitles''': Your Honor, I can tell you are a reasonable horse.
* He also samples the Rap Critic talking about Drake's "Started from the Bottom".
-->'''Drake:''' ♪Started from the bottom now my whole team fucking here/ Started from the bottom now we're here♪
-->'''Rap Critic:''' My friends and I were broke, but now we're not. My friends and I were broke, but now we're not.
-->'''Todd:''' Ha. I didn't even ask permission to use that. Unlicensed sample. Let's see him try to sue.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Cruise (Remix)]]
* When he first mentions mixes of country and hip-hop, "Accidental Racist" cues yet again. But when he objects this time, it is immediately replaced by "[[BerserkButton Hoedown Throwdown]]".
* Todd explaining how stupid the hook is.
--> "Baby you a song and by that I mean you make me wanna roll my windows and cruise...so I guess I'm gonna go do that. Bye"
* "'Cruise' was a finalist for my Worst of 2012 list because it's yet another smug, dopey, mainstream country song complete with the requisite four chords of pop. [[RunningGag Pop song chords—OH GOD, MAKE IT STOP!"]]
* "Think of this. ''Music/FloRida''-Georgia Line? It would have been perfect. [[VerbalBackspace It would have been terrible]]."
* When talking about how the Music/FloridaGeorgiaLine were fans of Nelly and jumped at the chance to collaborate with them:
-->'''Todd:''' Holy crap, Country Grammar came out thirteen years ago and they would have been in middle school and Nelly is almost forty and I found a gray hair in the mirror the other day and..."
* "This has been a message from the Wisconsin Safety Council: [[ThatSeventiesShow Stop at stop signs, dumbass!]]"
*
-->'''Florida Georgia Line:''' ♪She hopped right up into the cab of my truck\ And said, "Fire it up! Let's go get this thing stuck!"♪
-->'''Todd:''' "Get it stuck" means... I'm really sad I know this. When he says, "let's get this thing stuck, you might think he's conveniently having his truck run out of gas on Lovers Lane for a make-out session. No, he's talking about muddin'. That's where you take your truck off-road in a swamp and spray mud everywhere. It is ''the'' most hick thing you could possibly do, short of cow-tipping in bib overalls while listening to Larry the Cable Guy.
* After noticing the song seems to treat both trucks and women with the same level of fawning admiration:
-->'''Todd:''' ♪She had them long tan legs/With them big mud tires/And a big ol' heavy engine/And tiiiiits♪
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Blurred Lines]]
* The opening of the video depicts Todd at his computer, watching the music video for "[[Music/DaftPunk Get Lucky]]". His reaction goes as follows...
-->'''Todd:''' This is like the greatest thing I've ever heard! This is the song I've been waiting for all year! There's no way this is gonna be a hit. Could it? Oh please, please, please. Dear God, I know we don't speak much, but if you can just grant me one favor. There's this really awesome song on the radio right now, and I don't know if you've heard it. It's got this funky 70s beat, and Pharrell's on it, and it's just really great, and would you please make that song a #1 hit?
-->'''God:''' I hear your prayer, my child.
-->3 weeks later...
-->'''Todd:''' (sitting at his piano, lets out an exasperated sigh, and begins to play "Blurred Lines") [[LiteralGenie Ok. I guess that's my fault for not being clear.]]
* "[Robin Thicke] comes across as a poor man's Justin Timberlake, an impression not helped by the fact that his biggest hit now has him working with T.I. and Pharrell. For Christ's sakes, you wanna be Justin that badly, you might as well just start hosting SNL and not talking to other Music/NSync members."
* "And Pharrell goes "woo". I like "woo". I support "woo"."
* "A lot of the controversy is not about the song, it's about the video. A lot of people find it offensive. I'm one of them. I find it offensive. I'm offended as a person [[TakeThat who likes watching good videos.]]
* "This is probably the most blatant of the way pop singers try to trick people into promoting them on Twitter. Personally, I can think of many other things that would trend before #blurredlines, based on this video, like maybe, I don't know, [[AC: #Lazy]] or [[AC: #Stupid]] [[FreezeFrameBonus or]] [[AC: #Why am I not listening to Daft Punk goddammit I could actually be listening to something good instead of this George Michael wannabe Thicke Yeah right More like thick-headed This guy is a growing pain in the ass Did you only have a budget of $3.50 for this video? Try harder."]]
* To show how the lyrics are rapey, comparing them to Music/StoneTemplePilots' "Sex Type Thing", which is actually about a rapist.
* Todd's Venn Diagram to illustrate the supposed meaning of the song "[[HulkSpeak She Want the D/She No Want the D]]", showing that Thicke is '''way''' off the edge of the "No Want" side.
* His reaction to "[[RhymingWithItself You wanna hug me/What rhymes with 'hug me']]", complete with the return of "NOT A RHYME".
--> "So what does rhyme with "hug me"? I'm gonna guess he probably means [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar "fuuuuug me"]]? "Fug m--" Yeah, that doesn't really rhyme with "hug me"! ['''#NOTARHYME'''] So, since that doesn't rhyme with "hug me", what does? "Bug me", "Mug--" Or how about "Drug me"? That fits the tone of this song."
--> '''[[FamilyGuy Quagmire]]:''' "Waiter! Martini and a roofie colada!"
* On the line "Just let me liberate you":
-->"Yeah, see, you going down on my knob is me liberating you. That's what "liberate" means, right?" [Dictionary definition appears] "Oh, really? I was way off! See, what I meant was "Please let me bang you"."
* Todd's choice for the closing song, [[JustForPun Thick]] [[Music/JethroTull as a Brick]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:We Can't Stop vs. Come & Get It]]
*
-->'''Todd:''' Today, we're lookung at two former teen actresses who seem to be continuing down the path of fame and fortune-- Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez. Now for most of their adolescence, the Disney Corporation owned their careers, their lives, and probably most of their major organs. But now that Uncle Walt no longer has them under his cryogenically frozen thumb, these two are out to prove that they're not little girls anymore. No, they're out to scream to the world...
-->'''[[Music/TheLonelyIsland Andy Samberg]]:''' I'M AN ADULT!
*
-->'''Todd:''' I know next to nothing about Series/WizardsOfWaverlyPlace. I guess I really should find out something about them, so I know what I'm talking about. You know, these girls and their careers and how their personas have evolved over several seasons. As it turns out, I can watch both series on Netflix, so out of obligation, I'm gonna go educate myself on the subject.
-->'''Justin:''' Edgebonoutoosis! (Waves wand at rabbit, creating a duplicate)
-->'''Jerry:''' Good. Real rabbit, duplicate rabbit. No, duplicate rabbit, real-- anyway, there's two now.
-->'''Todd:''' Ok, that's enough. I don't need to know that badly, I think I got the idea.
* Todd watches the "We Can't Stop" video in fascinated horror... and when it's done, he gets a call on his phone. "[[Literature/TheRing Seven days.]]"
--> "It's the landlord. I gotta pay the rent."
*
-->'''Todd:''' I do not have it in me to be shocked anymore by pop singers doing the Girls Gone Wild shtick. I've seen it a billion times. I've already seen it with Miley, for Christ's sakes. So what? What exactly is supposed to be shocking about this?
-->'''Miley Cyrus:''' ♪And everyone in line in the bathroom\ Trying to get a line in the bathroom♪
-->'''Todd:''' Holy shit, [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar that was a straight-up cocaine reference.]] Series/HannahMontana is singing about snorting coke.
* "At least she'll always have that one special thing that will always be quintessentially Miley: her piercing, ear-splitting vocals."
* Todd accidentally revealing himself as a fan of ''Series/{{Victorious}}''.
** Later, Todd denied this on Twitter- he only saw one episode (He didn't say which), but felt that while VictoriaJustice and Elizabeth Gilles had much more personality then the Disney princesses, he probably won't watch the rest of the show in the immediate future.
* "Music/AliceInChains made more good-time party songs than this."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Best Song Ever]]
* "In the 90s, we had the boy band wars, which was a terrible time for music, but ultimately, both sides ended up destroyed. I choose to liken it to World War II. Both [[GodwinsLaw Nazism]] and Stalinism threatened the free world, but ended up fighting each other, leaving one defeated and the other unable to do more than burn itself out trying to keep up over the next few decades. Now I do realize that I can say controversial things sometimes, but I think we can all agree, comparing the Backstreet Boys to Hitler is entirely accurate and proportional."
* "Oh, good. [[TalkyBookends comedy bits.]] I see somebody watched Film/TropicThunder. Ok, let's hope they don't put one of these poor kids in BlackFace, although I do know that the one dressed like a girl is [[StupidSexyFlanders distressingly]] [[AttractiveBentGender hot."]]
* Any time one of his angry rants ends up being entirely positive.
* The PSA against comedic skits on music. Set to an instrumental version of [[CallBack "We Are The World 2010"]], no less.
** "Ladies and gentlemen, we have made such great progress in the fight against singers trying to be funny. The scourge of the rap album comedy skit is all but eradicated, but there is still so much work to do. Millions of people on YouTube are exposed every day to pre-song comedy bits in music videos. And that number is just growing everyday. You can help. Please donate to the Stop Singers From Thinking They're Funny Foundation, care of me. I can think of no cause dearer to my heart."
** And how two of the examples shown (Katy Perry's "T.G.I.F." and Nicki Minaj's "Moment 4 Life") were on his ''best'' list for 2011.
* "I'm sure you're all noticing that [the opening of this song] this is a complete ripoff of "Baba O'Riley" by The Who, or as One Direction fans know them, The ''who?'' Yes, thank you, that was a vintage joke dating back to at least the 90s, although archaeologists believe it may be much older."
* His shock at the song's girl being an actual defined person.
-->'''Todd:''' See, it's pretty specific.
-->'''Harry Styles:''' ♪Said I had a dirty mouth♪
-->'''Todd:''' It's specifically the Orbit gum woman.
-->'''Veronica Branch:''' Dirty mouth? Fabulous.
-->'''Todd:''' I didn't even know the British had dentists!
* One Direction dancing to the best song in the world, as presented in ''Film/TenaciousDInThePickOfDestiny''.
* Todd's rant about the song's premise, as he continues to look for a reason not to like the song:
-->You call it the "best song ever" but you don't even remember it? C'mon. You have no basis to support this judgement call, even to yourself. In fact, I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that the only reason you thought it was the "best song ever" is that your judgement was biased by the fact that you were dancing with a hot girl when you heard it. And that is [[PunctuatedForEmphasis completely! And totally!]] ''Understandable''!\\
({{beat}})\\
[[ICantBelieveImSayingThis Guys, I think I like this song.]]
*
-->'''Todd:''' Ok, this is probably as disappointing to you as it is to me. I really wanted to hate this song, but I cannot properly provide the anger that you're all expecting. All I can say is I offer my sincerest apologies, and in my defense, I promised myself when I started this that I would always give my opinions honestly, even if they were unpopular. And I hope that all my loyal viewers understand, and that it only strengthens your respect for my integrity as a critic.
-->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Comic Book Guy]]:''' [[WorstWhateverEver Worst. Episode. Ever.]]
-->'''Todd:''' Yeah, I agree...
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Applause]]
* The intro, where Todd describes an artist aiming to change the world: "...[[SmallNameBigEgo Me.]] But there's also Music/LadyGaga, who I've reviewed many times".
* Todd notes how coincidental it is that two years ago he reviewed both Lady Gaga and Katy Perry in a single review, and now they've released a simultaneous song again. He then decides to change the review to compare "Applause" with "Roar". [[spoiler:It takes exactly twelve seconds for him to dismiss "Roar" as "BORING".]]
* He discusses how Lady Gaga's lyrics appear to be attacking critics, and more specifically [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything critics of nostalgia]]. Complete with [[WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic Douchey McNitpick]] adding his two cents.
-->'''Todd''': Yeah! [[BitingTheHandHumor Screw these]] [[WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic "critics of nostalgia"]] [[SelfDeprecation and everyone associated with them!]]
* This:
-->'''Lady Gaga''': ♪I stand here waiting for you to bang the gong♪
-->'''Todd''': Like what, in a Creator/ChuckBarris kind of way? (''cue clip of TheGongShow'')
* The cameo by a LoonyFan, who then asks "You'll pay me for this, right?" (said fan is played by Todd's title card artist)
* Stating that he does the "mature thing" when criticised...using sockpuppet identities to defend himself and give the illusion that he has millions of fans.
* ""Applause-plause" is the most inane-nane thing I've ever heard-heard!"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Holy Grail]]
* Todd introduces the song with great enthusiasm, making over the top hand gestures to the beat. As it ends, he gives it a gracious full swoop "bow" with his hands, and says...
-->'''Todd:''' Well that ''sucked!''
* The return of a familiar hashtag rap.
-->'''JustinTimberlake:''' ♪Sippin' from your cup 'til it runneth over...♪
-->'''Gudda Gudda:''' ♪Grocery bag!♪
* When discussing Justin Timberlake's song "Mirrors", he states that it's still an ego song because he's comparing the girl he wants to his own reflection. Cue a clip of ''Disney/BeautyAndTheBeast'' -- more specifically, Gaston's part in "Belle".
* Todd complaining about the intro's length.
-->'''Todd''': Just the intro lasts a minute and a half! You could eat an entire large pizza in the time it takes for this song to get started. [[BigEater At least I can]]. I assume everyone can, right?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Gorilla]]
* His frank reveal of just how unsexy the image of gorillas mating really is.
-->'''Todd''': If for some godforsaken reason you're a Bruno Mars groupie and dream of getting it on with Bruno Mars, you can expect it to look like this. (''cue [[BrainBleach mind-scarring footage]]'')
* Pointing out that gorillas are [[TeenyWeenie not very well-endowed]].
-->'''Todd''': Film/MightyJoeYoung wasn't Mighty Joe Hung, that's all I'm saying.
** He then uses this to insist that the villain of ''Film/AceVentura 2'' wasn't raped by a gorilla at the end.
-->'''Todd''': [[ImplausibleDeniability Yeah, don't worry about that guy, he's fine, they're like playing chess or something back there]].
* Also, "Science! Ruining everything for everybody, always! Thanks, science."
* When wrapping up how using gorillas as a metaphor for sex is a major AnalogyBackfire, he points out that bonobos would be a much more appropriate choice, since they really are a sexually active species:
-->'''Todd''': There's my revision: "You and me, baby makin' love like bonobos!" (''{{Beat}}'') Okay, it doesn't quite have the same ring to it, but it's not like you're gonna make the song any sillier.
* When looking back through Bruno's catalog to see if he's been sexually explicit in any other songs, he cues up "The Lazy Song":
-->'''Bruno''': ♪Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex / And she's gonna scream out, "This is great!"♪ (''[[FlatJoy Oh my god, this is so great]]'')
-->'''Todd''': Yeah, point proven. I have a feeling that's a closer approximation of what sex with Bruno Mars is like.
* "Bruno is just trying on Music/{{Prince}}'s sound like a Halloween costume. Speaking of Halloween costumes, I considered getting a gorilla suit for this episode, but uh, they're actually, uh, quite expensive. At least the good ones. Yeah, I'm not making that [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd Angry Video Game Nerd]] money every year, so no costumes, sorry."
* Another AnalogyBackfire:
-->'''Bruno''': ♪I got a body full of liquor with a cocaine kicker / And I'm feeling like I'm 30 feet tall♪
-->'''Todd''': Oh good. Because nothing improves your sexual performance like a nice gallon of whiskey. Of course, I guess you can counteract that depressant with a nice kicker of cocaine. That's some better living through chemistry right there. What could go wrong with mixing alcohol and cocaine?
-->(''picture of a tombstone'')
-->'''Todd''' Oh yeah. Well, I guess we know why gorillas are endangered.
** Some people in the comments also point out that Bruno apparently never heard of "coke dick", i.e. [[TheLoinsSleepTonight unable to get it up]] because your overactive drugged body is diverting all the blood flow.
* Saying that the chorus sounds like Bruno's [[TheGruntingOrgasm orgasm]]: "Uh, uh, uh, bang bang! Gorilla!"
* Todd smacks his chest with his fists like a gorilla... and hurts himself.
* An obligatory reference:
-->'''Todd''': Not everything sex-related is sexy, and I don't know if Bruno Mars understands that. Gorillas aren't really something that turns people on. Except for this hot little number here:
-->(''clip of Noodle from Music/{{Gorillaz}} dancing in the video for "DARE"'')
-->'''Todd''': That one is pretty sexy. Otherwise, no.
* The closing:
-->'''Todd''': Bruno Mars may feel like this…
-->(''picture of Film/KingKong beating his chest'')
-->'''Todd''': …but he's honestly more like this. At best.
-->(''picture of WesternAnimation/MagillaGorilla'')
-->'''Todd''': (''beat'') What is it with this guy and monkeys, anyway?
-->(''cut to the dancers in monkey masks in the "Lazy Song" video"'')
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Wrecking Ball]]
* Todd is so bored with the "lifeless" state of recent pop music (e.g., dull ballads and droning EDM, both being things very hard to make fun of) that he's even willing to welcome back all his [[SitcomArchNemesis old]] [[BerserkButton enemies]] who've disappeared as of late.
-->'''Todd:''' [[SitcomArchNemesis Come back]], Music/LilWayne! [[SitcomArchNemesis We need you]], Music/{{Kesha}}! ''(Photo of Music/ChrisBrown appears)'' [[VerbalBackspace Please reahhhhh...]] [[BerserkButton okay, let's not go crazy here.]]
* On Miley licking a sledgehammer in the video: "Mmm, tastes like drywall. You realize that thing was probably used to remove an old toilet from a remodeled bathroom, right?"
* To underscore the obvious testicle metaphors in the song's video, Todd plays "[[Music/{{ACDC}} Big Balls]]" over some footage, and "[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Chocolate Salty Balls (P.S. I Love You)]]" over the credits.
* Todd's {{Mondegreen}}'s of the song.
--> '''Miley''': "All you ever did was ra-a-ape me!" [[note]]The actual lyrics read "Wreck me".[[/note]] \\
'''Todd''': "That's literally all I can hear there. I spent the longest time trying to convince myself that Miley was just singing about her favorite Music/{{Nirvana}} songs."
* On Miley being naked in the video:
** "Look, she's... naked, with her naked, nude body... nakeding everywhere!"
** "Okay, this is me, but...she...she does not look attractive. She looks like someone Photoshopped some boobs on Music/JustinBieber."
* The descriptions of Miley twerking on Robin Thicke ("It's like ''Film/TheHumanCentipede'' of music").
* Todd's exaggerated reaction to [[WebVideo/VampireReviews Elisa]] calling him.
* The return of TheFourChordsOfPop.
--> '''Todd:''' Pop song chords: No. NO. '''YES.'''
* A subtle one: The review's title isn't "Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus"... it's "Wrecking Ball by ''Series/HannahMontana''".
* "I know it's not fair to let the video affect your opinion of the song, but, you know, who can really help it? 'Hello' will always be defined by Lionel Richie's giant, butt-ugly clay head, and 'Wrecking Ball' will always be a demolition fetishist's wet dream before it's anything else."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Counting Stars vs. Demons]]
* Todd's short rant about [=OneRepublic=]'s and Imagine Dragons' band names:
-->''Todd:'' [=[OneRepublic are]=] just a dull, weak sauce band. Like, even the name is bad. It stinks of corporate marketing, with that stupid capital letter in the name of it. Just pisses me off, looking at it. "[=OneRepublic=]". That's the name of a bank, goddammit. Now, Imagine Dragons, ''there's'' a band name. Just imagine: dragons! Not just a great name for a rock band, also just good advice in general. Having a bad day? Imagine dragons; dragons are awesome!
* Having already put Music/ImagineDragons on his "Best of 2012" list, and having put One Republic on his "Worst of 2010" list (as well as not liking much else they did), Todd criticizes One Republic for "Demons" and praises Imagine Dragons for "Counting Stars"...only to realize that he's switched them.
-->''Todd:'' ''[Listening to "Demons"]'' Ok, the ''one'' thing I like about that [=OneRepublic=] song is that lead singer Ryan Tedder ''finally'' puts some passion into his voice, but ''that's it!'' Actually, he kinda sounds like the guy from Imagine Dragons.
-->''[Watches video]'' Actually, he kinda looks like the guy from Imagine Dragons! ''[{{beat}}]'' Actually, he uh...wait...
-->''["Demons" singles cover appears on screen]''
-->Wait, ''seriously??'' And the other one...?
-->''["Counting Stars" singles cover appears on screen]''
-->Noooooooo... No no, wait, so the cool one, with the interesting music is by [=OneRepublic=], and Imagine Dragons are the one doing that nothing burner dirge over there? What? [[BigWhat WHAT?!]]
* When TheFourChordsOfPop appear yet again:
--> ''Todd:'' Pop Song Cho--''[[ScreamerPrank AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!]]''
* After noting how both One Direction and [=OneRepublic=] have won him over this year, he wonders briefly if he needs to watch ''Series/OneTreeHill'' again.
* He complains that the music of "Demons" doesn't make him imagine demons, and certainly doesn't make him imagine dragons. Though he gives it a good attempt... but can only imagine [[Music/{{Train}} Hefty bags]], [[StopHelpingMe Clippy from Microsoft Office]] and Jacob from ''Film/{{Twilight}}''.
* He compares the lyrics of "Demons" to "[[WesternAnimation/{{Daria}} Freakin' Friends]]".
* While "Counting Stars" is something completely different for One Republic, Todd doesn't want to oversell it.
-->''Todd:'' I get the feeling Ryan Tedder didn't record this song risking his personal fortune and future. There wasn't a crowd of concerned people going, "YOU'RE A FOOL, TEDDER! A MAAAAADMAN!"
[[/folder]]
----
[[folder:Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2012]]
* On "50 Ways to Say Goodbye"
-->'''''Behind the Music'' narrator''': (''on Music/{{Train}}'') They're the quintessential American band.
-->'''Todd''': …Excuse me. What?
-->'''Narrator''': They're the quintessential American band.
-->'''Todd''': Holy ''crap'', VH-1. I don't think I've even heard Al-Qaeda say anything that anti-American.
* On "Back in Time", which is #8 on the list:
--> "Number 8? Are you sure this isn't 'numbuh twoooooo'?"
** Also, the answer on to why this song got made.
--> "I can only conclude... [[Series/AncientAliens Aliens]]."
* Todd's annoyance at Cher Lloyd's "Want U Back".
-->'''Cher''': ♪And now you're taking her to every restaurant♪
-->'''Todd''': Every single restaurant, huh? Gosh, how dare your ex take his new girlfriend on, gasp, ''dates''? '''Shut up!'''
** Likewise:
-->'''Cher Lloyd''': ♪Tryin' to rock them ugly jeans jeans jeans♪
-->'''Todd''': ...and if ''I'' may be bitchy in return: Oh, honey! I don't think someone who dresses like a 50-year-old mob wife from Long Island should be criticizing other people's fashion! Tchaa!
** And to close it off, ala the closing line of the song:
-->'''Todd''': ''(British accent)'' That's the sound of trying too hard... ''Pfft!''
* "*gasp* [[Music/BritneySpears She]] called me a bitch!"
* On "Whistle": (#4)
** "Fittingly enough, a song called 'Whistle' totally BLOWS!"
** "Here's what needs to be said about Flo Rida..." (cut to black screen with one tiny word in white: [nothing])
* "All of [Adam Levine's] 'woe is me' bad relationship songs always sound like a backdoor way to brag about all the hot sex he's having. 'Oh, we're so bad for each other, but we just lay in bed and bone each other all day. It's so awful, woe is me.' ''Eat me, Levine.''"
* Hefty bag!?
** "Pat Monahan hates music, romance, the English language, and ''you.''"
* His summary of "Too Close" by Alex Clare: "I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEEEEOPLLLLLE! I'M NOT REALLY FEELING OUR RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOWWWWWW!"
* "You've got that 'one thing,' teenage female fan. You've got that one, unnamed 'thing' that makes me love you, wherever you are, whoever you are, y'know, that one generic 'thing,' generic love interest...''swoon, dammit!''"
* Todd's attempt to comprehend the metaphors in "Domino", after he acknowledges its performer, Jessie J, as a blatant KatyPerry knockoff.
* "I just want to reiterate that OneDirection are f[[SoundEffectBleep *]]cking awful."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2012]]
* In introducing "Young, Wild, & Free", Todd rattles off a string of Music/SnoopDogg-esque "-izzle" talk.
--> "It's yo T-O-double-dizzle, in the shizzle fo' rizzle, givin' up for that Snoop D-O-double-gizzle, my nizzle. [[NWordPrivileges Am I allowed to say 'nizzle'?"]]
* While praising "Young, Wild, & Free," Todd notes that it's from the soundtrack of Mac and Devin Go to High School'', a movie he wasn't even sure existed. As a bit of {{Foreshadowing}} to his next episode...
--> ''It doesn't sound like a great movie, to be honest. But this song makes such a good case for it, I kind of want to see it anyway. [[HilariousInHindsight I hope I don't regret saying that.]]
* WebVideo/TheRapCritic's utter shock and disgust at Todd putting a Flo Rida song on the list at number 9.
** "Flo Rida: The least interesting man in the world. Stay boring, my friends."
** "Flo Rida's main gift has always been finding great hooks, and this is probably his best yet. It samples a song that I really love. This is from a song called "Piano in the Dark" by Brenda Russell. It's about a woman who can't ever leave her lover because she's too impossibly attracted to him when [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything he plays his piano under the cover of darkness.]] I don't know what it is. This song, it just speaks to me. I really like it."
** It's especially notable when considering the Rap Critic already reviewed the song that Todd put up, and he reasonably gave it a 2/5.
* "Let me share with you a game I found on the Internet. It's called Kanye Zone, and the object of the game is to prevent Kanye from getting in his zone. You know what happens when you let Kanye in his zone? He impregnates Kim Kardashian. Yeah, so don't let Kanye in his zone. That is gonna be one seriously screwed-up child."
* "Imagine Dragons is apparently an anagram for the band's original name, but they've never revealed what that was. Many people have guessed at what the original name was, including Greasing Domain, Insomnia Dagger, and my personal favourite, Gonad Migraines, which is what I'm going to call them from now on. Good luck, Gonad Migraines. Looking for good things from you."
* His celebration that Katy Perry did not make the list...
-->'''Todd:''' [gleefully] ''[[Film/TotalRecall1990 CONSIDER THIS A DIVORCE]]!''
* ...Promptly followed by "Die Young" by Ke$ha making it on.
** "[[Music/TheWho Meet the new boss, same as the old boss]]."
** "You see? She ''does'' have emotions! Besides being about to spew."
** "I have no problem grooving to "Die Young", even though it's still recognizably Ke$ha, the obnoxiously crude party girl. But it's better Ke$ha. Earlier Ke$ha was like nasty bathtub moonshine, and this is Ke$ha distilled and refined. If you like your Ke$ha undiluted, I imagine you won't have much for this, but I prefer stuff that won't rot your gut.
* "You know, it's funny that Bruno Mars should rip off Music/ThePolice, seeing as he hasn't exactly had the best luck with the police. Just saying."
* During the song Lights. The answer to what are the lights.
-->"[[CallBack I can only conclude... Aliens,]]" or Ghosts or even [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs Alien Ghosts]]
* He laughs at the thought of the Owl City guy "[waking] up with a Prince song in [his] head":
-->'''Todd''': What, you mean ''this'' Prince?
-->''cue "Pussy Control"''
* On Music/TobyKeith's "Red Solo Cup": "This song is hilarious, and I will hear no word from anyone who disagrees."
-->'''Toby Keith''': [[ManipulativeEditing Kiss my ass]].
* On Adele's "Skyfall" getting an honorable mention:
-->"Boy, this is the best James Bond theme in a while, isn't it? Wow, this really deserved to be on the list, right? Gosh, wouldn't I have looked much less stupid if I'd put this on the list instead of Flo Rida? *sigh*"
* His response to "Gangnam Style" making it as a honorable mention after doing a review of it?
-->"It grew on me. Shut up."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Mac and Devin Go To High School]]
* Todd introducing Andy Milonakis's character as "Andy Milonakis of 'Hey, whatever happened to Andy Milonakis?' fame".
-->'''WebVideo/TheRapCritic''': You remember, the man who physically looks like he's twelve years old but mentally... acts like he's twelve years old? [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Yeah, this movie's gonna suck.]]
* Todd mistaking the talking joint Slow Burn for the banana from the [[MemeticMutation "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" meme]].
* The really deadpan reaction to two bad jokes back to back.
-->'''Woman''': It's bigger than anything I've ever seen!
-->'''Todd''': Get it? It sounds like they're talking about sex.
--> '''Both''' **Bored out of their minds**: Hahahahahaha.
--> *Later*
--> '''Todd''': Get it? Look at that joint. It's... bigger than a regular size joint.
--> '''Both''' **still bored**: Hahahahahaha.
* About principal Skinnfloot just preparing expulsion papers for Mac instead of having him arrested for selling pot to minors.
--> '''Todd''': Get it? He's (Snoop) a ''MAC'', and he's (the principal) a ''PC'', which stands for '''"Poorly-written Character"'''.
* Remarking on the misleading title of the movie:
-->'''Todd''': Mac and Devin go to high school ''because they're in high school.'' They might as well have called it ''Mac and Devin Breathe Oxygen.''
-->'''Rap Critic''': This is like if ''Film/DudeWheresMyCar'' was literally just two guys in a parking lot looking for their car.
* [[CaptainObvious Todd spoiling the incredibly obvious solution to Mac & Devin's science project:]]
-->'''Todd:''' It's pot. [...] It's pot! The missing ingredient is pot. Spoilers: the missing ingredient is going to be pot. In this movie which revolves entirely around pot, in which two characters literally are pot, yes, the science project will be rescued with pot. Sorry for giving that away, it was gonna be mind-blowing when you found out.
** [[BrickJoke Then, the caption when Mac makes said discovery:]] "And now, the shocking reveal! Turns out, the secret ingredient is..."
* After the stupefyingly disgusting [[ItMakesSenseInContext fart pot trick]]:
-->'''Rap Critic''': Dude...she just farted. That was it! She just [[{{Squick}} farted and he sucked it into his mouth!]]
-->'''Todd''': Remember kids, if you smoke pot, you too can be this cool!
* Snoop gets two girls, but declines the threesome, suggesting the girls to make out instead, which is what they immediately do:
-->'''Rap Critic''': Huh. I don't know whether to be offended because it was so sexist... or because it wasn't even a [[GirlOnGirlIsHot little hot]].
* The Rap Critic commenting [[MushroomSamba on the surreal hallucinations Mac and Devlin have while high]].
--->'''Rap Critic''': Is...is this what's supposed to happen when you're high on weed? 'Cause...'cause that's not what happens. What happens is stuff becomes funnier and music slightly speeds up. Chemically, the effects of weed are actually kind of mundane.
--->'''Todd''': ''[{{beat}}]'' Wait a minute, since when do you know so much about getting high?
--->'''Rap Critic''': ''[defensively]'' What are you, a cop?
* The final graduation speech turns into the song "Young, Wild and Free":
-->'''Rap Critic''': ... And then they kindly escort him off stage and don't let him graduate.
** Then Slow Burn (the animated joint) starts to give an "inspirational speech" about pot.
--->'''Rap Critic''': Really?? A pseudo-inspirational speech about weed. You guys made '''this''' (the scene of the fart-pot), AND YOU CLEARLY DID IT WHILE HIGH. So do you really think now is the time to tell us that weed is a good thing?!
---> '''Todd''': Holy Christ. I don't want someone lecturing me about why marijuana should be legal. I live in the Internet. I've heard it.
* The WhereAreTheyNowEpilogue, which parodies the film's own:
-->"Rap Critic went on to become a mega-platinum selling rapper and was connected by the tabloids to Music/KatyPerry, Music/{{Rihanna}}, Music/SelenaGomez and Creator/ScarlettJohansson."
-->"Todd never found his usual gray hoodie and had to go buy a new one at Target."
-->"He says his old one was more comfortable."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Girl on Fire]]
* Todd's revelation that his roommates kicked him out again, followed by this lovely cutaway:
-->'''Todd''': Oh my God, this song sucks so much! Like, I can't even—
-->'''Roommate''': Shut up!
-->'''Todd''': I'm working! Do you want me to pay rent this month or not?
-->'''Roommate''': You haven't paid rent in four months, and it's 2 in the morning!
-->'''Todd''': I have to film when it's dark!
* Todd describing Music/AliciaKeys' "ragged, minimalist 'No One'": "Bash, Thud, Thud, Thud, Bash, Thud, Thud, Thud, Bash, Thud, Thud, Thud, Bash, Thud, Bash, Bash, Honk..HONK!"
* Todd makes it look like he originally planned reviewing the plain version of "Girl on Fire", but the "Inferno" remix with NickiMinaj plays instead. Enter WebVideo/TheRapCritic again.
-->'''Todd''': Okay, dude, you gotta stop doing this. This is, like, the third video in a row you've butted in on.\\
'''Rap Critic''': Oh, I'm sorry for bailing your obviously unprepared self from this floundering review. Now let's keep listening.
* Rap Critic's swift shift in reactions towards Marilyn Monroe's ghost appearing to Nicki.
-->'''Nicki:''' ♪ ...Tellin' me to come with her/Underneath my comforter♪
-->'''Rap Critic:''' Wait, the ghost of Marilyn Monroe is telling you to come with her underneath your sheets? ...[[GirlOnGirlIsHot Niiice!]]
-->'''Nicki:''' ♪And she brought a gun with her♪
-->'''Rap Critic:''' [[OhCrap ...Oh.]]
-->'''Nicki:''' ♪Pills and some rum with her♪
-->'''Rap Critic:''' Oh...o-OH!
-->'''Nicki:''' ♪ Took me on the balcony/Tellin' me to jump with her♪
-->'''Rap Critic:''' She REALLY didn't like that song, did she?!
*
-->'''Todd:''' At this point, they might as well have just renamed the song "Girl Doing Stuff". ♪This girl is doing things This girl is doing stuff♪ Ok, she's on fire, the world's on fire. She is fire. She's a flame on fire. This fire is on fire. Her eyes are on fire. Everything is on fire. Fire, fire, and fire. Film/ManOnFire, [[Music/TheDoors Light My Fire]], Film/FireDownBelow. I am the god of hellfire, and I bring you...
-->'''[[WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButtHead Beavis]]:''' Fire! Fire! Fire!
* Todd's reaction to a scene that has Alicia Keys [[MakesAsMuchSenseInContext using magic that has her snapping her fingers to clean up a room.]]
-->'''Todd''': ♪[[Film/MaryPoppins Well, the girl who's on fire helps the medicine go down! Medicine go down...]]♪
* The Rap Critic's appearances coming out of nowhere, mocking the remix featuring Music/NickiMinaj, [[AWildRapperAppears and how her rap verses seem to come out of nowhere]], with no transition back into the main song.
** The hint of FridgeBrilliance when the Rap Critic comes in near the end when talking about Nicki Minaj returning for another verse.
-->'''Todd''': All this song is is a creatively exhaustive, meaningless pile of-
-->'''Rap Critic''': And then the featured guest randomly comes back in, ruining the momentum of the video!
* Rap Critic's reaction to the line "And in my backyard, there's a deer, God":
-->'''Rap Critic as God''': "Thank you, Nicki Minaj, but I know what a deer is! I kind of made them. I'm not sure if anyone has informed you, but in North America, they're pretty common. Wait a minute, why am I even listening to this? They didn't even bother to get a good green screen effect!"
-->'''Todd''': You ''done''?!
-->'''Rap Critic''': Yes, yes I am.
** After that scene, he then talks about how unrelated Nicki Minaj's verses were and dismissing how the song is about God, while then unintentionally makes similarities about how the song actually relates to God.
-->'''Todd''': Holy crap, this song ''is about God''! [...] Alicia Keys is singing about a vengeful fire goddess burning down the whole world with her merciless wrath!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Little Things]]
* "These guys have no goddamn personality, they're '''all''' 'The Cute One'."
* "One Direction are trying to [[SoundEffectBleep f*ck]] your daughter!"
* "One Direction singing a white guy with acoustic guitar song. This is my '''HELL'''."
* Todd referring to "white guy with acoustic guitar songs" by the amusing acronym, "W.G.W.A.G." (pronounced "wigwag".)
*
--> '''[This is] a miserable load of dishonest dreck straight from the "fuck me, I'm sensitive" school of songwriting. It's a love song to a sad, misunderstood girl. This is like all the other One Direction songs boiled down to their essence. See, this is them confirming exactly what they like about you. Things.
--> '''One Direction:''' ♪You've got that one thing!♪
--> '''Todd:''' You know...things. See, they're talking about you. You have things. That's what they love about you, your things. Their favourite little thing about you is your qualities. But a close second is your attributes.
*
--> '''Zayn Malik''': ♪Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me, but bear this mind it was meant to be♪
--> '''Todd''': Yeah, that's how I know we're meant to be-- Your hand fits in mine. I mean you're nothing like the last girl I dated; she had these ''gigantic'' mitts the size of footballs, I couldn't get my hand around them at all, but you, you're special!
* "This isn't even good for a white guy with acoustic guitar song. At least your average acoustic guitar player fakes sincerity just by virtue of not being a pre-fab reality show boy band. Spare minimal accompaniment is supposed to create the aura of a more personal one-to-one connection, which you can't really pull off when there's '''FIVE OF YOU.''"
* "This girl has insecurities up the yin-yang! She also has insecurities ''about'' her yin yang after she read all those articles about how to slim down your yin-yang."
* "I know you worry that you have bad breath, but you don't, I promise. And I don't at all notice that you have really bad skin and that you pick your nose in public and that all your jokes are really bad and that weird mole on your back and that you kiss about as well as a discarded fish head and that your best friend is way hotter than you and that your laugh sounds like two chainsaws having sex and that you constantly derail conversations by talking about the things you dislike about yourself and fishing for compliments and that... Actually, when I lay it all out like that, I'm not sure what I do like about you. You know, maybe we should see other people."
* "I'm Todd In The Shadows saying: always remember that I love you...because of the little things. And by 'little things', I obviously didn't mean your stomach or your thighs. Those things are huge! I wrote a song about it, you wanna hear? ♪Oh, I don't care you're ugly/I don't care you're stupid♪ -- Hey, where're you going?"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Scream and Shout]]
* "I know it's a cheap shot to compare dance songs to highbrow music in a completely different genre. But still going from those other bands (Music/CoheedAndCambria and Music/BenFolds) to this is like going from eating at the Ritz to chewing on some disgusting Hungry Man TV dinner. Even for processed frozen food, that stuff's not good. You sure you don't wanna get the Boston Market dinners or the Stouffer's? It's right there next to it. Or just some Hot Pockets. What's wrong with Hot Pockets? Why the hell would you want that Hungry Man crap?! Cause it comes with a brownie?! You realize when you open it, the corn is just gonna have slopped over onto it! That's gross! Come on, you can eat better than that! What the hell?! Sorry, I bought some groceries the other day I regret. The point is will.i.am sucks!" [[note]]He's right about what happens to the brownies...[[/note]]
** Amusingly, [[https://twitter.com/ShadowTodd/status/316435925225832450 he explained on his Twitter]] [[https://twitter.com/ShadowTodd/status/316436178733764608 that he had been saving this gag ever since 2007]], when he got very angry from eating a "Hungry Man" followed by watching ''WesternAnimation/{{Ratatouille}}''.
* Todd explaining the song's presence on his Worst of 2012 list:
-->'''Todd''':Why didn't I just say nothing and save my material for a full review?"
-->'''Todd''' (''Cut to Worst of 2012 video''): I was gonna give this one a full review, but it's likely going to be gone by the time I finish these Top 10 lists, so I might as well just tackle it now.
-->'''Todd''': Oh, Todd. Oh, you poor dear. [[CallBack Todd-stradamus]] strikes again. Cross yet another one off the list of Todd's predictions for 2013.
-->(''cut to a list reading "New Pope is a 2-year-old girl, Film/{{Battleship}} sweeps Oscars, Grammys, Nobels, Mayan Apocalypse happens 2 months late, [[Series/TheTonightShow Jay Leno]] is America's sweetheart, and 'Scream and Shout' goes the f*** away"'')
* "[will.i.am's] songs [[EarWorm have a way of getting lodged in your brain.]] It all makes sense when you listen to the musical pioneers that will.i.am takes his inspiration from, like car alarms, jackhammers, vacuum cleaners, your neighbors having sex, the dripping faucet that keeps you awake at night. will.i.am has found a way to turn every awful, clattering, obnoxious sound into chart success."
* "There is no way this was only the fifth-worst song of the year. What was above this on my Worst list? 'Whistle'? Yeah, this is way worse than "Whistle". Bump up will.i.am to #4. (Later on) God, what was #3 on my worst list? 'One More Night'? Christ, what was I thinking? Shit, bump this up another slot. (Later still) God, what was #2 on my Worst list? 'Drive By'? ...ok, hold off on that one."
* At the song's suggestion, Todd decides to try [[spoiler:literally screaming and shouting.]]
-->"THIS IS NOT MAKING ME FEEL BETTER! IT'S KINDA MAKING IT WORSE!"
** And he ends the video with trying it again.
-->"So until next time, I'm Todd in the Shadows saying [[spoiler:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!]]"
*
-->'''Britney:''' ♪When you hear this in the club, you're gotta turn this shit up♪
-->'''Todd:''' When I hear this in the club, I gotta turn this shit up? No, I do not. I mean, how even would I? I'm not the DJ, that's his job. And if I did have access to the DJ booth, I can think of things I'd do long before adjusting the volume.
-->'''Jeff Pescetto:''' ♪WesternAnimation/DuckTales, Woo-ooo!♪
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Thrift Shop vs. Suit & Tie]]
* I don't know about you, but having Todd equate Music/{{Macklemore}} as the ''Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey'' of music and then having the caption immediately afterwards saying "[[BigNo NO]]" to that kind of makes one think if he did it intentionally or not. If not, then it certainly counts as an unintentional bit of humor there.
* Todd's "ecletic sense of fashion" i.e. [[LimitedWardrobe a closet full of]] [[InTheHood hoodies]].
** His "gray un-hoodie" is just a gray, long-sleeved shirt.
* The first impression review:
-->'''Justin Timberlake:''' ♪Ooh, I be on my suit and tie shit, tie shit, tie♪\\
'''Todd:''' Wait, what is he saying? I cannot be hearing that right. "Shit tie, shit tie." Hey, maybe I can have Justin's style after all. I've got a few shit ties. (Garfield, Shrek, the Three Stooges and guitars) Yeah. Am I really that hard to buy birthday presents for? Pfft. Thanks, everybody. And Macklemore, what's your first line in your song?\\
'''Macklemore:''' ♪Walk up to the club like, "What up, I got a big cock!"♪\\
'''Todd:''' *{{beat}}* I can't argue with that. Point: Macklemore.
* The ''ThirtyRock'' Reference brought on by a JayZ line.
--> '''Jay-Z''': ♪This is trouble season/Time for tuxedos for no reason♪
--> '''Todd''': Yes. Jay-Z has officially become Jack Donaghy.
--> '''Liz''': Why are you wearing a tux!?
--> '''Jack''': It's after six, what am I, a farmer?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Accidental Racist]]
* The attempt at a CrossOver with TheRapCritic.
-->'''Todd:''' All righty. I'll start. Now, me personally, I think the song is awful.
-->'''Rap Critic''': Yeah, me too.
-->(''Both of them stare at each other blankly, saying nothing.'')
-->'''Todd:''' Well, I think we're done.
-->'''Rap Critic''': Okay, that was easy!
* When Todd and WebVideo/TheRapCritic get into a heated argument about the song, a sign appears stating technical difficulties.
** And right after the "technical difficulties" sign goes away, there's an angry silence, and as soon as they open their mouths they both go back into arguing over each other. At this point, we cut to the credits [[spoiler: set to "[[SoundtrackDissonance Ebony and Ivory]]"]].
*** To explain, after cheerfully revealing that ''everyone'' can agree that the song is terrible, Todd then goes on to say that it made Brad Paisley look dumb. The Rap Critic, however, says it makes ''LL Cool J'' look dumb. This eventually snowballs into the argument about ([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer not even kidding]]) whether or not ''LL Cool J did anything of note'', ultimately leading to the two of the trading blows about their previous arguments.
--->'''Todd''': [LL Cool J] made "Mama Said Knock You Out". I think he deserves a little more credit than the guy who wrote "I wanna check you for ticks".
* Usually, Todd's disclaimer is "[Song] owned by [Record Label]. This video owned by me." Accidental Racist? "Accidental Racist owned by Arista Nashville. This video disowned by me."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Feel This Moment]]
* The video opens with Todd looking for a song to review, but finding most of the songs on the charts to be boring.
--> '''Todd:''' What's the worst song out now?
--> Cue a picture of Pitbull with the Microsoft "Ta-da!" sound effect.
--> '''Todd:''' You again?!
* "Well, that Pitbull's still around, he's...still stupid. Okay, let me see if I can recap my feelings about Armando Perez, aka Pitbull, aka Mr. 305, aka Mr. Worldwide, aka, this frickin' guy, Jesus, I feel like I've already done dozens of episodes on him, for Christ's sake!"
* "Around about 2010 or so, I was complaining a lot about how the charts were dominated by a genre I like to call 'club shit'. I — I came up with that myself."
* As a followup to the "club shit" refusing to be swept away entirely:
-->'''Todd''': Sure, B-listers like LMFAO went away, but the bigger names like will.i.am, Ke$ha, Flo Rida, they just dug in their heels and refused to move. They laugh at the attempts to make them move, they taunt us from their muddy fortress.
-->'''Creator/JohnCleese''': [[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail I fart in your general direction.]]
-->'''Todd''': That they do. Now most of these acts opted not to change their MO in any substantial way, unless you count will.i.am's decision to somehow get worse.
* "You know, hey. Fun experiment I just thought of right now for this episode. It's gonna be like a 'choose your own adventure' review. See, the way it works is— you listen to the song and write all the jokes and make all the insighftul criticism, while I put on my headphones and listen to some Music/SarahMcLachlan. How's that? Try it out. Do it now. Start now." (''pause'') "This is not gonna work. I don't even like Sarah [=McLachlan=]!"
* On Pitbull's last song:
-->'''Todd''': It wasn't anything special, it was okay, but there is no way in the universe that Pitbull should be going for a mood any more serious than… (''high pitched scream'') … that thing he does.
-->(''cue clip of the Goofy holler'')
-->'''Todd''': No, not that.
-->'''Pitbull''': '''''PARTY!!!'''''
-->'''Todd''': Yeah, that. It's harder than it looks, I'll give him that.
* [[http://i.imgur.com/5q6jA.jpg Todd's artistic rendering of the Best Buy he used to work at.]]
* When discussing songs that are lazy with their sampling (citing [=DrunkenMunkey=]'s "E", a 2002 house song which was just a sample from Eminem's "Without Me" repeated ad nauseam):
--> '''Todd''': This is just like [[Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg of one of those shitty spoof movies referencing some famous movie, but not actually having a joke with it.]]
-->(''clip from'' Disaster Movie)
-->'''Todd''': Right? Like, this is the laziest, worst, stupidest use of samples since… oh, gee, the '''''last''''' Pitbull song I reviewed!
* Todd's way of pointing out how often Pitbull mentions traveling in his songs.
-->'''Pitbull:''' The tallest building in Tokyo--Brazil, Morocco, London to Ibiza--Beirut--Cape Canaveral--Mumbai--Morocco--Helsinki--Malaysia--
-->'''[[WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}} Yakko Warner]]:''' ♪United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru!♪
* Todd deciding to sample his old reviews and finding out it doesn't always work.
-->'''Pitbull:''' ♪Reporting live from the tallest building in Tokyo♪
-->'''Clip!Todd:''' It's nice that you travel around the world, Pitbull, but you're not writing an Indiana Jones theme. Like, the Men in Black, they basically stay in New York. There are three movies and they don't generally leave New York.
-->'''Todd:''' Ok, that sample didn't quite fit. But neither does the sample for "Feel This Moment"! Meta-commentary!
* This:
-->'''Todd''': Oh right, right. Pitbull's trying to work with every Latino singer, basically. [Music/ChristinaAguilera]'s Hispanic. In that she has a Hispanic last name, and [[ButNotTooBlack pretty much no other connection to her Latino side at all]]. Hey, y'all remember when she released that Spanish album?
-->'''Christina Aguilera''': ♪Que tengo encasa quien suena con verme llegar♪
-->'''Todd''': Yeah, that was pretty hilarious. If I recall correctly, she spoke Spanish like [[WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill Peggy Hill]].
-->'''Peggy''' (''clip from "Lupe's Revenge"''') Yo poder ver que usted ser caballo razonable.
-->'''Subtitles''': Your Honor, I can tell you are a reasonable horse.
* He also samples the Rap Critic talking about Drake's "Started from the Bottom".
-->'''Drake:''' ♪Started from the bottom now my whole team fucking here/ Started from the bottom now we're here♪
-->'''Rap Critic:''' My friends and I were broke, but now we're not. My friends and I were broke, but now we're not.
-->'''Todd:''' Ha. I didn't even ask permission to use that. Unlicensed sample. Let's see him try to sue.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Cruise (Remix)]]
* When he first mentions mixes of country and hip-hop, "Accidental Racist" cues yet again. But when he objects this time, it is immediately replaced by "[[BerserkButton Hoedown Throwdown]]".
* Todd explaining how stupid the hook is.
--> "Baby you a song and by that I mean you make me wanna roll my windows and cruise...so I guess I'm gonna go do that. Bye"
* "'Cruise' was a finalist for my Worst of 2012 list because it's yet another smug, dopey, mainstream country song complete with the requisite four chords of pop. [[RunningGag Pop song chords—OH GOD, MAKE IT STOP!"]]
* "Think of this. ''Music/FloRida''-Georgia Line? It would have been perfect. [[VerbalBackspace It would have been terrible]]."
* When talking about how the Music/FloridaGeorgiaLine were fans of Nelly and jumped at the chance to collaborate with them:
-->'''Todd:''' Holy crap, Country Grammar came out thirteen years ago and they would have been in middle school and Nelly is almost forty and I found a gray hair in the mirror the other day and..."
* "This has been a message from the Wisconsin Safety Council: [[ThatSeventiesShow Stop at stop signs, dumbass!]]"
*
-->'''Florida Georgia Line:''' ♪She hopped right up into the cab of my truck\ And said, "Fire it up! Let's go get this thing stuck!"♪
-->'''Todd:''' "Get it stuck" means... I'm really sad I know this. When he says, "let's get this thing stuck, you might think he's conveniently having his truck run out of gas on Lovers Lane for a make-out session. No, he's talking about muddin'. That's where you take your truck off-road in a swamp and spray mud everywhere. It is ''the'' most hick thing you could possibly do, short of cow-tipping in bib overalls while listening to Larry the Cable Guy.
* After noticing the song seems to treat both trucks and women with the same level of fawning admiration:
-->'''Todd:''' ♪She had them long tan legs/With them big mud tires/And a big ol' heavy engine/And tiiiiits♪
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Blurred Lines]]
* The opening of the video depicts Todd at his computer, watching the music video for "[[Music/DaftPunk Get Lucky]]". His reaction goes as follows...
-->'''Todd:''' This is like the greatest thing I've ever heard! This is the song I've been waiting for all year! There's no way this is gonna be a hit. Could it? Oh please, please, please. Dear God, I know we don't speak much, but if you can just grant me one favor. There's this really awesome song on the radio right now, and I don't know if you've heard it. It's got this funky 70s beat, and Pharrell's on it, and it's just really great, and would you please make that song a #1 hit?
-->'''God:''' I hear your prayer, my child.
-->3 weeks later...
-->'''Todd:''' (sitting at his piano, lets out an exasperated sigh, and begins to play "Blurred Lines") [[LiteralGenie Ok. I guess that's my fault for not being clear.]]
* "[Robin Thicke] comes across as a poor man's Justin Timberlake, an impression not helped by the fact that his biggest hit now has him working with T.I. and Pharrell. For Christ's sakes, you wanna be Justin that badly, you might as well just start hosting SNL and not talking to other Music/NSync members."
* "And Pharrell goes "woo". I like "woo". I support "woo"."
* "A lot of the controversy is not about the song, it's about the video. A lot of people find it offensive. I'm one of them. I find it offensive. I'm offended as a person [[TakeThat who likes watching good videos.]]
* "This is probably the most blatant of the way pop singers try to trick people into promoting them on Twitter. Personally, I can think of many other things that would trend before #blurredlines, based on this video, like maybe, I don't know, [[AC: #Lazy]] or [[AC: #Stupid]] [[FreezeFrameBonus or]] [[AC: #Why am I not listening to Daft Punk goddammit I could actually be listening to something good instead of this George Michael wannabe Thicke Yeah right More like thick-headed This guy is a growing pain in the ass Did you only have a budget of $3.50 for this video? Try harder."]]
* To show how the lyrics are rapey, comparing them to Music/StoneTemplePilots' "Sex Type Thing", which is actually about a rapist.
* Todd's Venn Diagram to illustrate the supposed meaning of the song "[[HulkSpeak She Want the D/She No Want the D]]", showing that Thicke is '''way''' off the edge of the "No Want" side.
* His reaction to "[[RhymingWithItself You wanna hug me/What rhymes with 'hug me']]", complete with the return of "NOT A RHYME".
--> "So what does rhyme with "hug me"? I'm gonna guess he probably means [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar "fuuuuug me"]]? "Fug m--" Yeah, that doesn't really rhyme with "hug me"! ['''#NOTARHYME'''] So, since that doesn't rhyme with "hug me", what does? "Bug me", "Mug--" Or how about "Drug me"? That fits the tone of this song."
--> '''[[FamilyGuy Quagmire]]:''' "Waiter! Martini and a roofie colada!"
* On the line "Just let me liberate you":
-->"Yeah, see, you going down on my knob is me liberating you. That's what "liberate" means, right?" [Dictionary definition appears] "Oh, really? I was way off! See, what I meant was "Please let me bang you"."
* Todd's choice for the closing song, [[JustForPun Thick]] [[Music/JethroTull as a Brick]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:We Can't Stop vs. Come & Get It]]
*
-->'''Todd:''' Today, we're lookung at two former teen actresses who seem to be continuing down the path of fame and fortune-- Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez. Now for most of their adolescence, the Disney Corporation owned their careers, their lives, and probably most of their major organs. But now that Uncle Walt no longer has them under his cryogenically frozen thumb, these two are out to prove that they're not little girls anymore. No, they're out to scream to the world...
-->'''[[Music/TheLonelyIsland Andy Samberg]]:''' I'M AN ADULT!
*
-->'''Todd:''' I know next to nothing about Series/WizardsOfWaverlyPlace. I guess I really should find out something about them, so I know what I'm talking about. You know, these girls and their careers and how their personas have evolved over several seasons. As it turns out, I can watch both series on Netflix, so out of obligation, I'm gonna go educate myself on the subject.
-->'''Justin:''' Edgebonoutoosis! (Waves wand at rabbit, creating a duplicate)
-->'''Jerry:''' Good. Real rabbit, duplicate rabbit. No, duplicate rabbit, real-- anyway, there's two now.
-->'''Todd:''' Ok, that's enough. I don't need to know that badly, I think I got the idea.
* Todd watches the "We Can't Stop" video in fascinated horror... and when it's done, he gets a call on his phone. "[[Literature/TheRing Seven days.]]"
--> "It's the landlord. I gotta pay the rent."
*
-->'''Todd:''' I do not have it in me to be shocked anymore by pop singers doing the Girls Gone Wild shtick. I've seen it a billion times. I've already seen it with Miley, for Christ's sakes. So what? What exactly is supposed to be shocking about this?
-->'''Miley Cyrus:''' ♪And everyone in line in the bathroom\ Trying to get a line in the bathroom♪
-->'''Todd:''' Holy shit, [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar that was a straight-up cocaine reference.]] Series/HannahMontana is singing about snorting coke.
* "At least she'll always have that one special thing that will always be quintessentially Miley: her piercing, ear-splitting vocals."
* Todd accidentally revealing himself as a fan of ''Series/{{Victorious}}''.
** Later, Todd denied this on Twitter- he only saw one episode (He didn't say which), but felt that while VictoriaJustice and Elizabeth Gilles had much more personality then the Disney princesses, he probably won't watch the rest of the show in the immediate future.
* "Music/AliceInChains made more good-time party songs than this."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Best Song Ever]]
* "In the 90s, we had the boy band wars, which was a terrible time for music, but ultimately, both sides ended up destroyed. I choose to liken it to World War II. Both [[GodwinsLaw Nazism]] and Stalinism threatened the free world, but ended up fighting each other, leaving one defeated and the other unable to do more than burn itself out trying to keep up over the next few decades. Now I do realize that I can say controversial things sometimes, but I think we can all agree, comparing the Backstreet Boys to Hitler is entirely accurate and proportional."
* "Oh, good. [[TalkyBookends comedy bits.]] I see somebody watched Film/TropicThunder. Ok, let's hope they don't put one of these poor kids in BlackFace, although I do know that the one dressed like a girl is [[StupidSexyFlanders distressingly]] [[AttractiveBentGender hot."]]
* Any time one of his angry rants ends up being entirely positive.
* The PSA against comedic skits on music. Set to an instrumental version of [[CallBack "We Are The World 2010"]], no less.
** "Ladies and gentlemen, we have made such great progress in the fight against singers trying to be funny. The scourge of the rap album comedy skit is all but eradicated, but there is still so much work to do. Millions of people on YouTube are exposed every day to pre-song comedy bits in music videos. And that number is just growing everyday. You can help. Please donate to the Stop Singers From Thinking They're Funny Foundation, care of me. I can think of no cause dearer to my heart."
** And how two of the examples shown (Katy Perry's "T.G.I.F." and Nicki Minaj's "Moment 4 Life") were on his ''best'' list for 2011.
* "I'm sure you're all noticing that [the opening of this song] this is a complete ripoff of "Baba O'Riley" by The Who, or as One Direction fans know them, The ''who?'' Yes, thank you, that was a vintage joke dating back to at least the 90s, although archaeologists believe it may be much older."
* His shock at the song's girl being an actual defined person.
-->'''Todd:''' See, it's pretty specific.
-->'''Harry Styles:''' ♪Said I had a dirty mouth♪
-->'''Todd:''' It's specifically the Orbit gum woman.
-->'''Veronica Branch:''' Dirty mouth? Fabulous.
-->'''Todd:''' I didn't even know the British had dentists!
* One Direction dancing to the best song in the world, as presented in ''Film/TenaciousDInThePickOfDestiny''.
* Todd's rant about the song's premise, as he continues to look for a reason not to like the song:
-->You call it the "best song ever" but you don't even remember it? C'mon. You have no basis to support this judgement call, even to yourself. In fact, I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that the only reason you thought it was the "best song ever" is that your judgement was biased by the fact that you were dancing with a hot girl when you heard it. And that is [[PunctuatedForEmphasis completely! And totally!]] ''Understandable''!\\
({{beat}})\\
[[ICantBelieveImSayingThis Guys, I think I like this song.]]
*
-->'''Todd:''' Ok, this is probably as disappointing to you as it is to me. I really wanted to hate this song, but I cannot properly provide the anger that you're all expecting. All I can say is I offer my sincerest apologies, and in my defense, I promised myself when I started this that I would always give my opinions honestly, even if they were unpopular. And I hope that all my loyal viewers understand, and that it only strengthens your respect for my integrity as a critic.
-->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Comic Book Guy]]:''' [[WorstWhateverEver Worst. Episode. Ever.]]
-->'''Todd:''' Yeah, I agree...
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Applause]]
* The intro, where Todd describes an artist aiming to change the world: "...[[SmallNameBigEgo Me.]] But there's also Music/LadyGaga, who I've reviewed many times".
* Todd notes how coincidental it is that two years ago he reviewed both Lady Gaga and Katy Perry in a single review, and now they've released a simultaneous song again. He then decides to change the review to compare "Applause" with "Roar". [[spoiler:It takes exactly twelve seconds for him to dismiss "Roar" as "BORING".]]
* He discusses how Lady Gaga's lyrics appear to be attacking critics, and more specifically [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything critics of nostalgia]]. Complete with [[WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic Douchey McNitpick]] adding his two cents.
-->'''Todd''': Yeah! [[BitingTheHandHumor Screw these]] [[WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic "critics of nostalgia"]] [[SelfDeprecation and everyone associated with them!]]
* This:
-->'''Lady Gaga''': ♪I stand here waiting for you to bang the gong♪
-->'''Todd''': Like what, in a Creator/ChuckBarris kind of way? (''cue clip of TheGongShow'')
* The cameo by a LoonyFan, who then asks "You'll pay me for this, right?" (said fan is played by Todd's title card artist)
* Stating that he does the "mature thing" when criticised...using sockpuppet identities to defend himself and give the illusion that he has millions of fans.
* ""Applause-plause" is the most inane-nane thing I've ever heard-heard!"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Holy Grail]]
* Todd introduces the song with great enthusiasm, making over the top hand gestures to the beat. As it ends, he gives it a gracious full swoop "bow" with his hands, and says...
-->'''Todd:''' Well that ''sucked!''
* The return of a familiar hashtag rap.
-->'''JustinTimberlake:''' ♪Sippin' from your cup 'til it runneth over...♪
-->'''Gudda Gudda:''' ♪Grocery bag!♪
* When discussing Justin Timberlake's song "Mirrors", he states that it's still an ego song because he's comparing the girl he wants to his own reflection. Cue a clip of ''Disney/BeautyAndTheBeast'' -- more specifically, Gaston's part in "Belle".
* Todd complaining about the intro's length.
-->'''Todd''': Just the intro lasts a minute and a half! You could eat an entire large pizza in the time it takes for this song to get started. [[BigEater At least I can]]. I assume everyone can, right?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Gorilla]]
* His frank reveal of just how unsexy the image of gorillas mating really is.
-->'''Todd''': If for some godforsaken reason you're a Bruno Mars groupie and dream of getting it on with Bruno Mars, you can expect it to look like this. (''cue [[BrainBleach mind-scarring footage]]'')
* Pointing out that gorillas are [[TeenyWeenie not very well-endowed]].
-->'''Todd''': Film/MightyJoeYoung wasn't Mighty Joe Hung, that's all I'm saying.
** He then uses this to insist that the villain of ''Film/AceVentura 2'' wasn't raped by a gorilla at the end.
-->'''Todd''': [[ImplausibleDeniability Yeah, don't worry about that guy, he's fine, they're like playing chess or something back there]].
* Also, "Science! Ruining everything for everybody, always! Thanks, science."
* When wrapping up how using gorillas as a metaphor for sex is a major AnalogyBackfire, he points out that bonobos would be a much more appropriate choice, since they really are a sexually active species:
-->'''Todd''': There's my revision: "You and me, baby makin' love like bonobos!" (''{{Beat}}'') Okay, it doesn't quite have the same ring to it, but it's not like you're gonna make the song any sillier.
* When looking back through Bruno's catalog to see if he's been sexually explicit in any other songs, he cues up "The Lazy Song":
-->'''Bruno''': ♪Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex / And she's gonna scream out, "This is great!"♪ (''[[FlatJoy Oh my god, this is so great]]'')
-->'''Todd''': Yeah, point proven. I have a feeling that's a closer approximation of what sex with Bruno Mars is like.
* "Bruno is just trying on Music/{{Prince}}'s sound like a Halloween costume. Speaking of Halloween costumes, I considered getting a gorilla suit for this episode, but uh, they're actually, uh, quite expensive. At least the good ones. Yeah, I'm not making that [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd Angry Video Game Nerd]] money every year, so no costumes, sorry."
* Another AnalogyBackfire:
-->'''Bruno''': ♪I got a body full of liquor with a cocaine kicker / And I'm feeling like I'm 30 feet tall♪
-->'''Todd''': Oh good. Because nothing improves your sexual performance like a nice gallon of whiskey. Of course, I guess you can counteract that depressant with a nice kicker of cocaine. That's some better living through chemistry right there. What could go wrong with mixing alcohol and cocaine?
-->(''picture of a tombstone'')
-->'''Todd''' Oh yeah. Well, I guess we know why gorillas are endangered.
** Some people in the comments also point out that Bruno apparently never heard of "coke dick", i.e. [[TheLoinsSleepTonight unable to get it up]] because your overactive drugged body is diverting all the blood flow.
* Saying that the chorus sounds like Bruno's [[TheGruntingOrgasm orgasm]]: "Uh, uh, uh, bang bang! Gorilla!"
* Todd smacks his chest with his fists like a gorilla... and hurts himself.
* An obligatory reference:
-->'''Todd''': Not everything sex-related is sexy, and I don't know if Bruno Mars understands that. Gorillas aren't really something that turns people on. Except for this hot little number here:
-->(''clip of Noodle from Music/{{Gorillaz}} dancing in the video for "DARE"'')
-->'''Todd''': That one is pretty sexy. Otherwise, no.
* The closing:
-->'''Todd''': Bruno Mars may feel like this…
-->(''picture of Film/KingKong beating his chest'')
-->'''Todd''': …but he's honestly more like this. At best.
-->(''picture of WesternAnimation/MagillaGorilla'')
-->'''Todd''': (''beat'') What is it with this guy and monkeys, anyway?
-->(''cut to the dancers in monkey masks in the "Lazy Song" video"'')
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Wrecking Ball]]
* Todd is so bored with the "lifeless" state of recent pop music (e.g., dull ballads and droning EDM, both being things very hard to make fun of) that he's even willing to welcome back all his [[SitcomArchNemesis old]] [[BerserkButton enemies]] who've disappeared as of late.
-->'''Todd:''' [[SitcomArchNemesis Come back]], Music/LilWayne! [[SitcomArchNemesis We need you]], Music/{{Kesha}}! ''(Photo of Music/ChrisBrown appears)'' [[VerbalBackspace Please reahhhhh...]] [[BerserkButton okay, let's not go crazy here.]]
* On Miley licking a sledgehammer in the video: "Mmm, tastes like drywall. You realize that thing was probably used to remove an old toilet from a remodeled bathroom, right?"
* To underscore the obvious testicle metaphors in the song's video, Todd plays "[[Music/{{ACDC}} Big Balls]]" over some footage, and "[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Chocolate Salty Balls (P.S. I Love You)]]" over the credits.
* Todd's {{Mondegreen}}'s of the song.
--> '''Miley''': "All you ever did was ra-a-ape me!" [[note]]The actual lyrics read "Wreck me".[[/note]] \\
'''Todd''': "That's literally all I can hear there. I spent the longest time trying to convince myself that Miley was just singing about her favorite Music/{{Nirvana}} songs."
* On Miley being naked in the video:
** "Look, she's... naked, with her naked, nude body... nakeding everywhere!"
** "Okay, this is me, but...she...she does not look attractive. She looks like someone Photoshopped some boobs on Music/JustinBieber."
* The descriptions of Miley twerking on Robin Thicke ("It's like ''Film/TheHumanCentipede'' of music").
* Todd's exaggerated reaction to [[WebVideo/VampireReviews Elisa]] calling him.
* The return of TheFourChordsOfPop.
--> '''Todd:''' Pop song chords: No. NO. '''YES.'''
* A subtle one: The review's title isn't "Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus"... it's "Wrecking Ball by ''Series/HannahMontana''".
* "I know it's not fair to let the video affect your opinion of the song, but, you know, who can really help it? 'Hello' will always be defined by Lionel Richie's giant, butt-ugly clay head, and 'Wrecking Ball' will always be a demolition fetishist's wet dream before it's anything else."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Counting Stars vs. Demons]]
* Todd's short rant about [=OneRepublic=]'s and Imagine Dragons' band names:
-->''Todd:'' [=[OneRepublic are]=] just a dull, weak sauce band. Like, even the name is bad. It stinks of corporate marketing, with that stupid capital letter in the name of it. Just pisses me off, looking at it. "[=OneRepublic=]". That's the name of a bank, goddammit. Now, Imagine Dragons, ''there's'' a band name. Just imagine: dragons! Not just a great name for a rock band, also just good advice in general. Having a bad day? Imagine dragons; dragons are awesome!
* Having already put Music/ImagineDragons on his "Best of 2012" list, and having put One Republic on his "Worst of 2010" list (as well as not liking much else they did), Todd criticizes One Republic for "Demons" and praises Imagine Dragons for "Counting Stars"...only to realize that he's switched them.
-->''Todd:'' ''[Listening to "Demons"]'' Ok, the ''one'' thing I like about that [=OneRepublic=] song is that lead singer Ryan Tedder ''finally'' puts some passion into his voice, but ''that's it!'' Actually, he kinda sounds like the guy from Imagine Dragons.
-->''[Watches video]'' Actually, he kinda looks like the guy from Imagine Dragons! ''[{{beat}}]'' Actually, he uh...wait...
-->''["Demons" singles cover appears on screen]''
-->Wait, ''seriously??'' And the other one...?
-->''["Counting Stars" singles cover appears on screen]''
-->Noooooooo... No no, wait, so the cool one, with the interesting music is by [=OneRepublic=], and Imagine Dragons are the one doing that nothing burner dirge over there? What? [[BigWhat WHAT?!]]
* When TheFourChordsOfPop appear yet again:
--> ''Todd:'' Pop Song Cho--''[[ScreamerPrank AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!]]''
* After noting how both One Direction and [=OneRepublic=] have won him over this year, he wonders briefly if he needs to watch ''Series/OneTreeHill'' again.
* He complains that the music of "Demons" doesn't make him imagine demons, and certainly doesn't make him imagine dragons. Though he gives it a good attempt... but can only imagine [[Music/{{Train}} Hefty bags]], [[StopHelpingMe Clippy from Microsoft Office]] and Jacob from ''Film/{{Twilight}}''.
* He compares the lyrics of "Demons" to "[[WesternAnimation/{{Daria}} Freakin' Friends]]".
* While "Counting Stars" is something completely different for One Republic, Todd doesn't want to oversell it.
-->''Todd:'' I get the feeling Ryan Tedder didn't record this song risking his personal fortune and future. There wasn't a crowd of concerned people going, "YOU'RE A FOOL, TEDDER! A MAAAAADMAN!"
[[/folder]]
----
