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-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': Goddammit...\\
'''God''': '''[[SmithWillSuffice I'LL DO NO SUCH THING!]]'''
'''God''': '''[[SmithWillSuffice I'LL DO NO SUCH THING!]]'''
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-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': Goddammit...\\
'''God''':Goddammit...
-->'''God''': '''[[SmithWillSuffice I'LL DO NO SUCH THING!]]'''
'''God''':
-->'''God''': '''[[SmithWillSuffice I'LL DO NO SUCH THING!]]'''
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Changed line(s) 24,25 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': Goddammit...
-->'''God''': '''[[SmithWillSuffice I'LL DO NO SUCH THING!]]'''
-->'''God''': '''[[SmithWillSuffice I'LL DO NO SUCH THING!]]'''
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-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': Goddammit...
-->'''God''':Goddammit...\\
'''God''': '''[[SmithWillSuffice I'LL DO NO SUCH THING!]]'''
-->'''God''':
'''God''': '''[[SmithWillSuffice I'LL DO NO SUCH THING!]]'''
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Changed line(s) 141 (click to see context) from:
* [[http://lparchive.org/Chrono-Cross/ The LP of]] ''ChronoCross'' has plenty of hilarious moments, most of them brought about by his writing Serge as the OnlySaneMan in the clusterfuck of MindScrew and GambitPileup. Probably the best part of it, though, is Serge's interactions with [[NoIndoorVoice ZOAH]], who seems to have latched on to Serge like an awkward rookie cop and has somehow become this [[{{Adorkable}} adorably awkward dork]] ''despite being a ridiculously large muscle-bound bruiser''. One particular great moment:
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* [[http://lparchive.org/Chrono-Cross/ The LP of]] ''ChronoCross'' ''VideoGame/ChronoCross'' has plenty of hilarious moments, most of them brought about by his writing Serge as the OnlySaneMan in the clusterfuck of MindScrew and GambitPileup. Probably the best part of it, though, is Serge's interactions with [[NoIndoorVoice ZOAH]], who seems to have latched on to Serge like an awkward rookie cop and has somehow become this [[{{Adorkable}} adorably awkward dork]] ''despite being a ridiculously large muscle-bound bruiser''. One particular great moment:
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** The ShowWithinAShow MST of [[ResidentEvilGunSurvivor Survivor]] courtesy of Claire, Steve, Alfred controlling their cargo plane via remote control and said plane having cable TV installed.
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Changed line(s) 57 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Leon''': Ew, subtitles.
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-->'''Leon''': Ew, Yuck, subtitles.
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My eyebrow is twitching jeebus chripes.
Changed line(s) 77 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Nosferatu[[spiler:Alexander]]''': One moment, please, madam. *dons a monocle*
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Changed line(s) 74 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Claire''': *Snaps and raws Alfred's sniper rifle*
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-->'''Claire''': *Snaps and raws draws Alfred's sniper rifle*
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Oh gods darnit.
Changed line(s) 67 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Nosferatu/[[spoiler:Alexander]]: Madam. I would like to have a brief moment of your time. For, I am Alexander Reginald Ashford. Master of the esteemed Ashford Family and descendent of the brilliant Veronica Ashford. After a long and most unfortunate slumber, I have returned to restore the Ashford Family name to its rightful place among the world's first and finest[...]Now, madam. If you will, allow me to give you a brief history on the lush history of my fine family line. The Ashfords were founded by the legendarily beautiful and intelligent Veronica Ashford. Truly, our family would have never reached the highs it has today, lacking the foundation she built upon it. Following her, came her son Stanley Ashford. A nobleman of true character he was-
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* Code Veronica: Claire's "fight" with Nosferatu/[[spoiler:Alexander Ashford]]. Said monster dons a top hat and a monocle and has swatted Steve aside. And then...
-->'''Nosferatu/[[spoiler:Alexander]]: Madam. I would like to have a brief moment of your time. For, I am Alexander Reginald Ashford. Master of the esteemed Ashford Family and descendent of the brilliant Veronica Ashford. After a long and most unfortunate slumber, I have returned to restore the Ashford Family name to its rightful place among the world's first and finest[...]Now, madam. If you will, allow me to give you a brief history on the lush history of my fine family line. The Ashfords were founded by the legendarily beautiful and intelligent Veronica Ashford. Truly, our family would have never reached the highs it has today, lacking the foundation she built upon it. Following her, came her son Stanley Ashford. A nobleman of true character he was-
-->'''Narration''': ''Some time passes...''
-->'''Nosferatu/[[spoiler:Alexander]]''': Following his death, his twin brother, Sir Arthur Ashford took the reins of the family seat. Under his leadership, the Ashford family reached new heights. At which point, there was-
-->'''Narration''': ''Another span...''
-->'''Claire''': Ugh. I think this lecture is giving me a headache...
-->'''Nosferatu/[[spoiler:Alexander]]''': Under Sir Edward Ashford, my father, the Ashford Family oversaw the creation of Umbrella Incorporated alongside Lord Ozwald Spencer and Sir James Marcus. With their help the Ashfords-"
-->'''Narration''': ''Nearly as long as a single average FetchQuest...''
-->'''Claire''': *Snaps and raws Alfred's sniper rifle*
-->'''Nosferatu/[[spoiler:Alexander]]''': Ah, yes, madam. That rifle was handed down to my son, Sir Alfred Ashford, on his sixth birthday. Finely crafted by a master gunsmith in Switzerland, the rifle was fine tuned to a standard only fitting for the fine Ashford line. But why, dear lady, do you possess my successor kin's weapon?
-->'''Claire''': I've got you now! *Fires and blows out his heart*
-->'''Nosferatu[[spiler:Alexander]]''': One moment, please, madam. *dons a monocle*
-->'''His monocle''': *Classic monocle pop. Nosferatu falls down dead.*
-->'''Nosferatu[[spoiler:Alexander]]''': [[CitizenKane Rosebud...]]
-->'''Nosferatu/[[spoiler:Alexander]]: Madam. I would like to have a brief moment of your time. For, I am Alexander Reginald Ashford. Master of the esteemed Ashford Family and descendent of the brilliant Veronica Ashford. After a long and most unfortunate slumber, I have returned to restore the Ashford Family name to its rightful place among the world's first and finest[...]Now, madam. If you will, allow me to give you a brief history on the lush history of my fine family line. The Ashfords were founded by the legendarily beautiful and intelligent Veronica Ashford. Truly, our family would have never reached the highs it has today, lacking the foundation she built upon it. Following her, came her son Stanley Ashford. A nobleman of true character he was-
-->'''Narration''': ''Some time passes...''
-->'''Nosferatu/[[spoiler:Alexander]]''': Following his death, his twin brother, Sir Arthur Ashford took the reins of the family seat. Under his leadership, the Ashford family reached new heights. At which point, there was-
-->'''Narration''': ''Another span...''
-->'''Claire''': Ugh. I think this lecture is giving me a headache...
-->'''Nosferatu/[[spoiler:Alexander]]''': Under Sir Edward Ashford, my father, the Ashford Family oversaw the creation of Umbrella Incorporated alongside Lord Ozwald Spencer and Sir James Marcus. With their help the Ashfords-"
-->'''Narration''': ''Nearly as long as a single average FetchQuest...''
-->'''Claire''': *Snaps and raws Alfred's sniper rifle*
-->'''Nosferatu/[[spoiler:Alexander]]''': Ah, yes, madam. That rifle was handed down to my son, Sir Alfred Ashford, on his sixth birthday. Finely crafted by a master gunsmith in Switzerland, the rifle was fine tuned to a standard only fitting for the fine Ashford line. But why, dear lady, do you possess my successor kin's weapon?
-->'''Claire''': I've got you now! *Fires and blows out his heart*
-->'''Nosferatu[[spiler:Alexander]]''': One moment, please, madam. *dons a monocle*
-->'''His monocle''': *Classic monocle pop. Nosferatu falls down dead.*
-->'''Nosferatu[[spoiler:Alexander]]''': [[CitizenKane Rosebud...]]
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** The earlier acid trip Chris has after getting poisoned by Yawn, done like a TextAdventure game, complete with a cameo from the very posh [[ResidentEvil4 El Gigante]] and [[ResidentEvil2 Claire]]. It comes out of nowhere and makes for a surprisingly chortlesome sequence.
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*** This line about sums it up appropriately: What the fuck were you thinking with that just then? Serious, I fought a giant blob with a teethed vagina for a mouth on the back of a speeding train in an exploding secret underground laboratory during a zombie outbreak and it wasn't a tenth as out of line with what I just went through.
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*** This line about sums it up appropriately: What appropriately:
-->'''Leon''':What the fuck were you thinking with that just then? Serious, I fought a giant blob with a teethed vagina for a mouth on the back of a speeding train in an exploding secret underground laboratory during a zombie outbreak and it wasn't a tenth as out of line with what I just went through.
-->'''Leon''':What the fuck were you thinking with that just then? Serious, I fought a giant blob with a teethed vagina for a mouth on the back of a speeding train in an exploding secret underground laboratory during a zombie outbreak and it wasn't a tenth as out of line with what I just went through.
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** One of the twin El Gigantes [[{{Terminator}} giving a thumbs up as it sinks into molten metal.]]
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** One of the twin El Gigantes [[{{Terminator}} giving a thumbs up as it sinks into molten metal.]]]] The fact that they're both in what seems to be a gay BDSM relationship is icing on the cake.
Changed line(s) 56 (click to see context) from:
** And their final battle with the now mutated Senor X having one last pop at Leon.
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** And their final battle with the now mutated Senor X having one last pop at Leon. Oh yeah, and he's wearing a sombrero again. MADE OF FIRE.
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-->'''Chris''': Hey! Fuck you...Billy...''FUCKING'''...COEN!
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-->'''Chris''': Hey! Fuck you...Billy...''FUCKING'''...'''FUCKING'''...COEN!
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** His sudden comparison of the NitroExpress part in the laboratory to a similar part in [[{{Castlevania64}} Castlevania 64]] which becomes a tale of a time paradox:
-->Before I begin my description of the following events, are you all familiar with [[{{Castlevania64}} Castlevania 64]]? The black sheep first 3D installment of a rather mediocre line of 3D entries into the Castlevania series. This title had a laundry list of problems going for it, but I found it to be somewhat enjoyable. That is, except for one portion midway through. At the "Castle Center" area of the game, the player is tasked with recovering some "Magical Nitro" to blow up a wall or something of that nature. The catch? You have to transport it clear across the area. The bigger catch? If you jump, fall down anything larger than a step, or get hit by an enemy, the nitro would explode and you would die instantly. So, there was of course moving platforms, unguarded rails, turning gears, a load of enemies and other hazards designed to blow your character's ass to vampire slaying heaven. This section was so ill designed that not only was the entire development staffed shunned from society, but the effects of its shittiness traveled down the family line [[DrivenToSuicide causing a mass of seppuku]] among developers' ancestors several generations back in time. [[TimeParadox Of course, with their ancestor's death, the development staff never existed to design the stage in the first place, thus ripping a hole in the space/time continuum.]] Though the universe has a way of sorting itself out and [[CastlevaniaLegacyOfDarkness Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness]] sprung into existence. This would still give a valid excuse for the developer's ancestors to kill themselves, but still have the existence of a subpar Castlevania spin-off in the future. The Castlevania 64 we all know today was a product of time ninja meddling. Thus balance was restored.
-->Before I begin my description of the following events, are you all familiar with [[{{Castlevania64}} Castlevania 64]]? The black sheep first 3D installment of a rather mediocre line of 3D entries into the Castlevania series. This title had a laundry list of problems going for it, but I found it to be somewhat enjoyable. That is, except for one portion midway through. At the "Castle Center" area of the game, the player is tasked with recovering some "Magical Nitro" to blow up a wall or something of that nature. The catch? You have to transport it clear across the area. The bigger catch? If you jump, fall down anything larger than a step, or get hit by an enemy, the nitro would explode and you would die instantly. So, there was of course moving platforms, unguarded rails, turning gears, a load of enemies and other hazards designed to blow your character's ass to vampire slaying heaven. This section was so ill designed that not only was the entire development staffed shunned from society, but the effects of its shittiness traveled down the family line [[DrivenToSuicide causing a mass of seppuku]] among developers' ancestors several generations back in time. [[TimeParadox Of course, with their ancestor's death, the development staff never existed to design the stage in the first place, thus ripping a hole in the space/time continuum.]] Though the universe has a way of sorting itself out and [[CastlevaniaLegacyOfDarkness Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness]] sprung into existence. This would still give a valid excuse for the developer's ancestors to kill themselves, but still have the existence of a subpar Castlevania spin-off in the future. The Castlevania 64 we all know today was a product of time ninja meddling. Thus balance was restored.
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Last one, I PROMISE, cross my heart and hope to be spanked til my bottom is bally well red.
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-->'''Leon''': [[RantenducingSlight Shut up! Shut up! I hate essays! I cheated on my final exam at the academy! No... I never even went to an academy. I got my certification on some website I Googled. I put down I had 20 years of law enforcement experience I was on a Counter-Terrorist team on my application... That was a fucking]] [[CounterStrike Counter-Strike clan...]] [[RantInducingSlight How was I to know they'd actually hire me?!]]
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-->'''Leon''': [[RantenducingSlight [[RantInducingSlight Shut up! Shut up! I hate essays! I cheated on my final exam at the academy! No... I never even went to an academy. I got my certification on some website I Googled. I put down I had 20 years of law enforcement experience I was on a Counter-Terrorist team on my application... That was a fucking]] [[CounterStrike Counter-Strike clan...]] [[RantInducingSlight How was I to know they'd actually hire me?!]]
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** And the resulting exchange not a minute later with Senor X losing his patience and Leon finally admitting the truth:
-->'''Senor X''': Your discrimination over de country of my origin is most disrespectful, mah. At least I can hold a job. What are you doing, eh? Lost your job on your first day? Itz pathetic, ese. What kinda cop are you?
-->'''Leon''': [[RantenducingSlight Shut up! Shut up! I hate essays! I cheated on my final exam at the academy! No... I never even went to an academy. I got my certification on some website I Googled. I put down I had 20 years of law enforcement experience I was on a Counter-Terrorist team on my application... That was a fucking]] [[CounterStrike Counter-Strike clan...]] [[RantInducingSlight How was I to know they'd actually hire me?!]]
-->'''Senor X''': Man, [[TooMuchInformation too much information...]]
-->'''Senor X''': Your discrimination over de country of my origin is most disrespectful, mah. At least I can hold a job. What are you doing, eh? Lost your job on your first day? Itz pathetic, ese. What kinda cop are you?
-->'''Leon''': [[RantenducingSlight Shut up! Shut up! I hate essays! I cheated on my final exam at the academy! No... I never even went to an academy. I got my certification on some website I Googled. I put down I had 20 years of law enforcement experience I was on a Counter-Terrorist team on my application... That was a fucking]] [[CounterStrike Counter-Strike clan...]] [[RantInducingSlight How was I to know they'd actually hire me?!]]
-->'''Senor X''': Man, [[TooMuchInformation too much information...]]
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** And their final battle with the now mutated Senor X having one last pop at Leon.
-->'''Senor X''': Si, senor. Its a boss fight, ese.
-->'''Leon''': Wait, you can speak American?
-->'''Senor X''': Its called English, idiota.
-->'''Senor X''': Si, senor. Its a boss fight, ese.
-->'''Leon''': Wait, you can speak American?
-->'''Senor X''': Its called English, idiota.
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-->'''Senor X''': *[[ThereWasADoor Bursts through a wall]]
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-->'''Senor X''': *[[ThereWasADoor Bursts through a wall]]wall]]*
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* ResidentEvil2 has the first few instances of Senor X...wearing a sombrero and sporting a moustache. Leon takes him down and tries on his hat before discarding it because it doesn't suit him. What Senor X says as his first line sets the tone for what TheDarkId has in mind for him:
-->'''Senor X''': *[[ThereWasADoor Bursts through a wall]]
-->'''Senor X''': ?Donde esta mi sombrero?
** [[JumpScare His sudden appearence on a security monitor]] turns into this as he's still looking for his hat, and Leon was just looking for something to watch:
-->'''Senor X''': Oficial de policia, yo necesito mi sombrero.
-->'''Leon''': Ew, subtitles.
-->'''Senor X''': *[[ThereWasADoor Bursts through a wall]]
-->'''Senor X''': ?Donde esta mi sombrero?
** [[JumpScare His sudden appearence on a security monitor]] turns into this as he's still looking for his hat, and Leon was just looking for something to watch:
-->'''Senor X''': Oficial de policia, yo necesito mi sombrero.
-->'''Leon''': Ew, subtitles.
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** The climax of the RE1 LP Tyrant-Billy has Chris and the others on the ropes. Brad drops down a boombox leading to a brief screenshot-music-video thing to the tune of "[[RollingStones Paint It, Black]]". Then Brad drops down the rocket launcher realising his mistake. Of course it turns out Tyrant-Billy's having trouble adjusting to his new body. and then...
-->'''[[MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail God]]''': '''COEN!! WILLIAM LESTER COEN!! THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!'''
-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': Crap...
-->'''God''': '''YOU'VE TAKEN A PISS ON MY CREATIONS LONG ENOUGH!'''
-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': But... Err... But... Have you taken a look at this thing? I... I don't think you made this one...*Shows the rocket launcher*
-->'''God''': '''LET ME TAKE A CLOSER LOOK THERE! HMM! WOAH! WHAT IS THAT THING?! I'M NOT BITING THE BULLET ON THAT ONE!!'''
-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': [[HopeSpot So... You're giving me a pass here, right?]]
-->'''God''': '''YOU'RE AN ABOMINATION, WILLIAM! IT IS ONLY FITTING THAT THIS BE YOUR NEW CAGE OF FLESH! YOU WILL WALK THE ETHERAL LIMBO NO LONGER! YOU ARE BOUND HERE UNTIL YOUR UNDOING!'''
-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': Goddammit...
-->'''God''': '''[[SmithWillSuffice I'LL DO NO SUCH THING!]]'''
*** Then Chris gives the final shot to Billy with the perfect BondOneLiner:
-->'''Chris''': Hey! Fuck you...Billy...''FUCKING'''...COEN!
-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': [[LameComeback Dang...]]
-->'''[[MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail God]]''': '''COEN!! WILLIAM LESTER COEN!! THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!'''
-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': Crap...
-->'''God''': '''YOU'VE TAKEN A PISS ON MY CREATIONS LONG ENOUGH!'''
-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': But... Err... But... Have you taken a look at this thing? I... I don't think you made this one...*Shows the rocket launcher*
-->'''God''': '''LET ME TAKE A CLOSER LOOK THERE! HMM! WOAH! WHAT IS THAT THING?! I'M NOT BITING THE BULLET ON THAT ONE!!'''
-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': [[HopeSpot So... You're giving me a pass here, right?]]
-->'''God''': '''YOU'RE AN ABOMINATION, WILLIAM! IT IS ONLY FITTING THAT THIS BE YOUR NEW CAGE OF FLESH! YOU WILL WALK THE ETHERAL LIMBO NO LONGER! YOU ARE BOUND HERE UNTIL YOUR UNDOING!'''
-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': Goddammit...
-->'''God''': '''[[SmithWillSuffice I'LL DO NO SUCH THING!]]'''
*** Then Chris gives the final shot to Billy with the perfect BondOneLiner:
-->'''Chris''': Hey! Fuck you...Billy...''FUCKING'''...COEN!
-->'''Tyrant-Billy''': [[LameComeback Dang...]]
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** Caim's first proper cutscene appearence gets this brilliant gem:
-->'''Image of a VERY gleeful Caim''': Caim's status: Loving this shit!
-->'''Image of Manah's eyes wide with terror''': Manah's pants status: Thoroughly shat!
-->'''Image of a VERY gleeful Caim''': Caim's status: Loving this shit!
-->'''Image of Manah's eyes wide with terror''': Manah's pants status: Thoroughly shat!
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Changed line(s) 14,15 (click to see context) from:
** The epic but ridiculous battle in the center of what maybe either Chris's mind or time and space itself between him and the vengeful Billy "[[VerbalTic FUCKING]]" Coen. To wit: TheDarkId shows Ghost!Billy possessing a Hunter and killing poor Rebecca as revenge (ItMakesSenseInContext) and Chris kills him in retaliation. After that, things get weird as during the RE2 LP, Rebecca was supposed to repair Todd Kennedy's window. result is a TimeParadox of mad proportions resulting in Chris ending up in Sprite style and being menaced by Billy possessing a bird and trying to rip his eyes out. THEN they have a battle in the style of SoulCalibur 3, custom characters and all. THEN it becomes a brief battle film as done in TheMovies. THEN it comes to a head when various members of the STARS team from beyond the grave (From various Resident Evil comic panels) attempt to encourage Chris to fight back. After that he ends up rescuing Rebecca. TWICE for good measure (One in PSX style, the other in the remake) And it is so ridiculous as to be the funniest thing an LP of Resident Evil can be.
** The near entierty of his ''ResidentEvilZero'' LP, which gives us gems as Billy "[[VerbalTic FUCKING]]" Coen being an incredible JerkAss (And Jewish) the T-001 Tyrant being a mad drunkard and Rebecca paying back Billy's cruelty at the end by shooting him in the head. The crowning moment of hilarity comes when, while reading a file written by James Marcus expressing his adoration fo rhis prized leeches, DarkId comes to a horrifying conclusion. [[VerbalTic Leeches!]].
** The near entierty of his ''ResidentEvilZero'' LP, which gives us gems as Billy "[[VerbalTic FUCKING]]" Coen being an incredible JerkAss (And Jewish) the T-001 Tyrant being a mad drunkard and Rebecca paying back Billy's cruelty at the end by shooting him in the head. The crowning moment of hilarity comes when, while reading a file written by James Marcus expressing his adoration fo rhis prized leeches, DarkId comes to a horrifying conclusion. [[VerbalTic Leeches!]].
to:
** The epic but ridiculous battle in the center of what maybe either Chris's mind or time and space itself between him and the vengeful Billy "[[VerbalTic FUCKING]]" Coen. To wit: TheDarkId shows Ghost!Billy possessing a Hunter and killing poor Rebecca as revenge for killing him at the end of Zero (ItMakesSenseInContext) and Chris kills him in retaliation. After that, things get weird as during the RE2 LP, Rebecca was supposed to repair Todd Kennedy's window. The result is a TimeParadox of mad proportions resulting in Chris ending up in Sprite style and being menaced by Billy possessing a bird and trying to rip his eyes out. THEN they have a battle in the style of SoulCalibur 3, custom characters and all. all with chris wielding a simple knife and Billy armed with a giant fuck-off zweihander. THEN it becomes a brief battle film as done in TheMovies.TheMovies with Chris winning a knife fight by pulling out his shotgun and plugging Billy right in the chest. THEN it comes to a head when various members of the STARS team from beyond the grave (From various Resident Evil comic panels) attempt to encourage Chris to fight back. After that he ends up rescuing Rebecca. TWICE for good measure (One in PSX style, the other in the remake) And it is so ridiculous as to be the funniest thing an LP of Resident Evil can be.
** The near entierty of his ''ResidentEvilZero'' LP, which gives us gems as Billy "[[VerbalTic FUCKING]]" Coen being an incredible JerkAss (And Jewish) the T-001 Tyrant being a mad drunkard and Rebecca paying back Billy's cruelty at the end by shooting him in the head. The crowning moment of hilarity comes when, while readinga file written by James Marcus Marcus' diary expressing his adoration fo rhis for his prized leeches, DarkId comes to a horrifying conclusion. [[VerbalTic Leeches!]].
** The near entierty of his ''ResidentEvilZero'' LP, which gives us gems as Billy "[[VerbalTic FUCKING]]" Coen being an incredible JerkAss (And Jewish) the T-001 Tyrant being a mad drunkard and Rebecca paying back Billy's cruelty at the end by shooting him in the head. The crowning moment of hilarity comes when, while reading
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* Id's reaction to an electricity based puzzle in an industrial section of Raccoon City in Resident Evil 3:
--->'''TheDarkId''': Right...so these are unlocked by ''fucking with the city's power grid.''
--->'''Larry''': Hey, Lou I forgot my keys in the back room.
--->'''Lou''': Larry, this is the third time this week!
--->'''Larry''': Look, just power down the south east grid so I can grab them and get home in time for That 70's Show.
--->'''Lou''': But the hospital is on that grid.
--->'''Larry''': Don't be a baby. I'll just be a second.
--->'''Lou''': Tch... Fine.
--->'''TheDarkId''': Right...so these are unlocked by ''fucking with the city's power grid.''
--->'''Larry''': Hey, Lou I forgot my keys in the back room.
--->'''Lou''': Larry, this is the third time this week!
--->'''Larry''': Look, just power down the south east grid so I can grab them and get home in time for That 70's Show.
--->'''Lou''': But the hospital is on that grid.
--->'''Larry''': Don't be a baby. I'll just be a second.
--->'''Lou''': Tch... Fine.
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** One of the twin El Gigantes [[{{Terminator}} giving a thumbs up as it sinks into molten metal.]]
** Imagining what will happen if, after going OneWingedAngel for the final boss battle, Saddler kills Leon and recaptures Ashley, but then can't change back:
--->'''The President''': What do you want?
--->'''Saddler''': ''(appears on viewing screen)'' Just a simple donation to the tune of...
--->'''The President''': WHAT THE F**K IS THAT THING?! JESUS CHRIST! GET ME THE PENTAGON!!
** Imagining what will happen if, after going OneWingedAngel for the final boss battle, Saddler kills Leon and recaptures Ashley, but then can't change back:
--->'''The President''': What do you want?
--->'''Saddler''': ''(appears on viewing screen)'' Just a simple donation to the tune of...
--->'''The President''': WHAT THE F**K IS THAT THING?! JESUS CHRIST! GET ME THE PENTAGON!!
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Changed line(s) 116 (click to see context) from:
* What finally pushes [[{{Xenogears}} Fei]] [[RantInducingSlight over the edge]] during a chat with Queen Shevat at the near end of disc 2.
to:
* What finally pushes [[{{Xenogears}} [[VideoGame/{{Xenogears}} Fei]] [[RantInducingSlight over the edge]] during a chat with Queen Shevat at the near end of disc 2.
Changed line(s) 126 (click to see context) from:
* Also from the {{Xenogears}} LP, the very first post holds some great lines:
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* Also from the {{Xenogears}} VideoGame/{{Xenogears}} LP, the very first post holds some great lines:
Changed line(s) 131 (click to see context) from:
-->Anyhow, something seems to be going very wrong aboard the Galactica. Some jerk networked the mainframes to get more FPS in The Witcher 2 and now the Cylons are all up in everyone’s shit. Good job, Phil. I bet you couldn’t even make it past the tutorial fight.
to:
-->Anyhow, something seems to be going very wrong aboard the Galactica. Some jerk networked the mainframes to get more FPS in The Witcher 2 and now the Cylons are all up in everyone’s shit. Good job, Phil. I bet you couldn’t even make it past the tutorial fight.
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Changed line(s) 125 (click to see context) from:
* [[http://lparchive.org/Xenogears-(by-The-Dark-Id)/Update%2074/ The summary of all the crap that's happened to Billy in about 24 hours]] mostly because it CrossesTheLineTwice
to:
* [[http://lparchive.org/Xenogears-(by-The-Dark-Id)/Update%2074/ The summary of all the crap that's happened to Billy in about 24 hours]] mostly because it CrossesTheLineTwiceCrossesTheLineTwice
* Also from the {{Xenogears}} LP, the very first post holds some great lines:
-->We go straight from bible quotes to space: the final frontier. What does God need with a starship? Well, just because it is God doesn’t mean He lacks the occasional lazy afternoon where He just feels like hitching a ride across town.
-->Anyhow, it is a very big starship. Or...well, maybe the cameraman is just massive and the spacecraft is really tiny due to a screwed up perspective...? Kinda makes you think, doesn’t it? Very deep.
-->See...? There’s even cute little space cities inside the thing. It looks like a lil’ human ant farm. Wait... No! Don’t tap on the glass! It specifically states you shouldn’t tap on the glass!
-->Well, Goddammit... I hope you’re happy now! Now nobody gets to look at the tiny space people anymore!
-->Anyhow, something seems to be going very wrong aboard the Galactica. Some jerk networked the mainframes to get more FPS in The Witcher 2 and now the Cylons are all up in everyone’s shit. Good job, Phil. I bet you couldn’t even make it past the tutorial fight.
* Also from the {{Xenogears}} LP, the very first post holds some great lines:
-->We go straight from bible quotes to space: the final frontier. What does God need with a starship? Well, just because it is God doesn’t mean He lacks the occasional lazy afternoon where He just feels like hitching a ride across town.
-->Anyhow, it is a very big starship. Or...well, maybe the cameraman is just massive and the spacecraft is really tiny due to a screwed up perspective...? Kinda makes you think, doesn’t it? Very deep.
-->See...? There’s even cute little space cities inside the thing. It looks like a lil’ human ant farm. Wait... No! Don’t tap on the glass! It specifically states you shouldn’t tap on the glass!
-->Well, Goddammit... I hope you’re happy now! Now nobody gets to look at the tiny space people anymore!
-->Anyhow, something seems to be going very wrong aboard the Galactica. Some jerk networked the mainframes to get more FPS in The Witcher 2 and now the Cylons are all up in everyone’s shit. Good job, Phil. I bet you couldn’t even make it past the tutorial fight.
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Changed line(s) 60 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Dragon:''' ’My name is Caim and it’s killing time’ is not a good one liner. I’m embarrassed to just repeat it aloud to you.
to:
--->'''Dragon:''' ’My ’My name is Caim and it’s killing time’ is not a good one liner. I’m embarrassed to just repeat it aloud to you.
Changed line(s) 121 (click to see context) from:
** "[[TheBible Father, forgive them for they know not what they]] [[VerbalTic chu]]."
to:
** "[[TheBible Father, forgive them for they know not what they]] [[VerbalTic chu]].""
* Any time the tldr recaps make fun of the use of proper nouns without context, but especially
--->G. Min.: [[http://lparchive.org/Xenogears-(by-The-Dark-Id)/Update%20112/ No, fuck YOU dad! We're using the Proper Noun!]]
--->Cain: Me and my flatscreen TV laser says otherwise
* [[http://lparchive.org/Xenogears-(by-The-Dark-Id)/Update%2074/ The summary of all the crap that's happened to Billy in about 24 hours]] mostly because it CrossesTheLineTwice
* Any time the tldr recaps make fun of the use of proper nouns without context, but especially
--->G. Min.: [[http://lparchive.org/Xenogears-(by-The-Dark-Id)/Update%20112/ No, fuck YOU dad! We're using the Proper Noun!]]
--->Cain: Me and my flatscreen TV laser says otherwise
* [[http://lparchive.org/Xenogears-(by-The-Dark-Id)/Update%2074/ The summary of all the crap that's happened to Billy in about 24 hours]] mostly because it CrossesTheLineTwice
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Changed line(s) 60 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Dragon:''' ’My name is Caim and it’s killing time’ is not a good one liner. I’m embarrassed to just repeat it aloud to you.
to:
--->'''Dragon:''' ’My ’My name is Caim and it’s killing time’ is not a good one liner. I’m embarrassed to just repeat it aloud to you.
Changed line(s) 121 (click to see context) from:
** "[[TheBible Father, forgive they for they know not what they]] [[VerbalTic chu]]."
to:
** "[[TheBible Father, forgive they them for they know not what they]] [[VerbalTic chu]]."
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Changed line(s) 121 (click to see context) from:
** "[[TheBible Father, forgive me for they know not what they]] [[VerbalTic chu]]."
to:
** "[[TheBible Father, forgive me they for they know not what they]] [[VerbalTic chu]]."
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Changed line(s) 120 (click to see context) from:
--->Fei: *grumble* “I’ve been holding that one in for like a month... C’mon. Let’s go do some sidequests or something...
to:
--->Fei: *grumble* “I’ve been holding that one in for like a month... C’mon. Let’s go do some sidequests or something...something...
** "[[TheBible Father, forgive me for they know not what they]] [[VerbalTic chu]]."
** "[[TheBible Father, forgive me for they know not what they]] [[VerbalTic chu]]."
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Changed line(s) 118 (click to see context) from:
--->Fei: ......Good lord, lady! Howabout an ‘I believe in you’ or ‘I know you can do it’ or something? It’s gonna take a *miracle* to succeed?! Tch. You know what? I’m friggin’ GLAD your stupid hippie Cloud City UFO got shot down! You Shevat people are just...just the WORST everything ever! You never help when you ought to. You make everyone else do your fighting for you while you sit around getting baked. And even then there's a chance you backstab everyone when you succeed. And even when you're not actively screwing over nations, you're still loving up. Hey, remember your adviser, Wiseman? Yeah. That guy was my dad, Kahn, wearing a funny mask. And it was also GRAHF! Your top adviser was goddamn GRAHF! 'I used my POWER to kill everyone on the planet' Grahf. That is how goddamn awful a ruler you are Zephyr. So I’m now to go kick Deus rear end. Why don't you go trip into a carbonite freezing cage or something so after this ends I can stick you in some courtyard somewhere as a monument to the biggest gently caress up ruler the planet has every seen! Thanks for loving NOTHING, Queen of Shevat.
to:
--->Fei: ......Good lord, lady! Howabout an ‘I believe in you’ or ‘I know you can do it’ or something? It’s gonna take a *miracle* to succeed?! Tch. You know what? I’m friggin’ GLAD your stupid hippie Cloud City UFO got shot down! You Shevat people are just...just the WORST everything ever! You never help when you ought to. You make everyone else do your fighting for you while you sit around getting baked. And even then there's a chance you backstab everyone when you succeed. And even when you're not actively screwing over nations, you're still loving fucking up. Hey, remember your adviser, Wiseman? Yeah. That guy was my dad, Kahn, wearing a funny mask. And it was also GRAHF! Your top adviser was goddamn GRAHF! 'I used my POWER to kill everyone on the planet' Grahf. That is how goddamn awful a ruler you are Zephyr. So I’m now to go kick Deus rear end. ass. Why don't you go trip into a carbonite freezing cage or something so after this ends I can stick you in some courtyard somewhere as a monument to the biggest gently caress fuck up ruler the planet has every seen! Thanks for loving fucking NOTHING, Queen of Shevat.
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Changed line(s) 115 (click to see context) from:
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d1mFfFxiVw This]] video of ''NIER'' gameplay. In case you're wondering, that's a ''boar'' he's riding...
to:
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d1mFfFxiVw This]] video of ''NIER'' gameplay. In case you're wondering, that's a ''boar'' he's riding...riding...
* What finally pushes [[{{Xenogears}} Fei]] [[RantInducingSlight over the edge]] during a chat with Queen Shevat at the near end of disc 2.
--->Queen Zephyr: I understand. So let's keep believing... And hope for a miracle...
--->Fei: ......Good lord, lady! Howabout an ‘I believe in you’ or ‘I know you can do it’ or something? It’s gonna take a *miracle* to succeed?! Tch. You know what? I’m friggin’ GLAD your stupid hippie Cloud City UFO got shot down! You Shevat people are just...just the WORST everything ever! You never help when you ought to. You make everyone else do your fighting for you while you sit around getting baked. And even then there's a chance you backstab everyone when you succeed. And even when you're not actively screwing over nations, you're still loving up. Hey, remember your adviser, Wiseman? Yeah. That guy was my dad, Kahn, wearing a funny mask. And it was also GRAHF! Your top adviser was goddamn GRAHF! 'I used my POWER to kill everyone on the planet' Grahf. That is how goddamn awful a ruler you are Zephyr. So I’m now to go kick Deus rear end. Why don't you go trip into a carbonite freezing cage or something so after this ends I can stick you in some courtyard somewhere as a monument to the biggest gently caress up ruler the planet has every seen! Thanks for loving NOTHING, Queen of Shevat.
--->Bart: Holy crap, dude.
--->Fei: *grumble* “I’ve been holding that one in for like a month... C’mon. Let’s go do some sidequests or something...
* What finally pushes [[{{Xenogears}} Fei]] [[RantInducingSlight over the edge]] during a chat with Queen Shevat at the near end of disc 2.
--->Queen Zephyr: I understand. So let's keep believing... And hope for a miracle...
--->Fei: ......Good lord, lady! Howabout an ‘I believe in you’ or ‘I know you can do it’ or something? It’s gonna take a *miracle* to succeed?! Tch. You know what? I’m friggin’ GLAD your stupid hippie Cloud City UFO got shot down! You Shevat people are just...just the WORST everything ever! You never help when you ought to. You make everyone else do your fighting for you while you sit around getting baked. And even then there's a chance you backstab everyone when you succeed. And even when you're not actively screwing over nations, you're still loving up. Hey, remember your adviser, Wiseman? Yeah. That guy was my dad, Kahn, wearing a funny mask. And it was also GRAHF! Your top adviser was goddamn GRAHF! 'I used my POWER to kill everyone on the planet' Grahf. That is how goddamn awful a ruler you are Zephyr. So I’m now to go kick Deus rear end. Why don't you go trip into a carbonite freezing cage or something so after this ends I can stick you in some courtyard somewhere as a monument to the biggest gently caress up ruler the planet has every seen! Thanks for loving NOTHING, Queen of Shevat.
--->Bart: Holy crap, dude.
--->Fei: *grumble* “I’ve been holding that one in for like a month... C’mon. Let’s go do some sidequests or something...
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Added DiffLines:
** "And as a last bid for escape, Alyssa drops an epic steamer."
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Added DiffLines:
** The RantInducingSlight caused by meeting ''zombie sharks'':
--->'''TheDarkId:''' Now, it's a bit far fetched that you'd find sharks in the middle of a mid-western wooded mountain. But, it's Umbrella and I can see them importing that shit here. What I cannot fathom is the need for ''zombie sharks''. Look at [[http://lparchive.org/Resident-Evil-1/Update%2031/22-Great-white-shark_8.jpg this fucking thing]]. This creature does not, in any way, need the 'undead' attribute under its belt. What is it going to do? Spread the virus to the hand it left behind because it fucking ''ate'' everything else in one chomp? The fruits of the T-Virus labor here seem to be, surprise, making a really big ass shark. Now at least if James fucking Bond is trying to sneak into one of Umbrella's secret underwater bases, they've got that covered. Assuming they could control the sharks, which they cannot, and we assume the shark would not eat James Bond otherwise, which it would. In what other instance will a shark be any remote use for a biological weapon? This isn't like the usual 'whoops, we had an accident' monster creations. Umbrella actually built a multi-million dollar underground "Aqua Ring" to culture shark bio weapons to sell to the highest bidder. Which brings us back to James Bond. Since who in the fuck else but Bond Villains would be in the market for gigantic fucking zombie sharks? Even then, you know they're just going to be stuck into a pit while Bond and the secretary he's fucking that week is lowered slowly into said pit! In summary, zombie sharks are fucking retarded, even for Umbrella standards. Thank you for your time.
--->'''TheDarkId:''' Now, it's a bit far fetched that you'd find sharks in the middle of a mid-western wooded mountain. But, it's Umbrella and I can see them importing that shit here. What I cannot fathom is the need for ''zombie sharks''. Look at [[http://lparchive.org/Resident-Evil-1/Update%2031/22-Great-white-shark_8.jpg this fucking thing]]. This creature does not, in any way, need the 'undead' attribute under its belt. What is it going to do? Spread the virus to the hand it left behind because it fucking ''ate'' everything else in one chomp? The fruits of the T-Virus labor here seem to be, surprise, making a really big ass shark. Now at least if James fucking Bond is trying to sneak into one of Umbrella's secret underwater bases, they've got that covered. Assuming they could control the sharks, which they cannot, and we assume the shark would not eat James Bond otherwise, which it would. In what other instance will a shark be any remote use for a biological weapon? This isn't like the usual 'whoops, we had an accident' monster creations. Umbrella actually built a multi-million dollar underground "Aqua Ring" to culture shark bio weapons to sell to the highest bidder. Which brings us back to James Bond. Since who in the fuck else but Bond Villains would be in the market for gigantic fucking zombie sharks? Even then, you know they're just going to be stuck into a pit while Bond and the secretary he's fucking that week is lowered slowly into said pit! In summary, zombie sharks are fucking retarded, even for Umbrella standards. Thank you for your time.
