History Funny / StuartAshen

* While reading the instructions to a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0CQ1OTmAJ0&t=100s toy figurine]] which is encased in a container full of goo:
--> '''Ashen:''' In case of stains, immediately remove excess goo material then wash with warm water and white vinegar. Yes, I remember puberty too.

* In his 2017 Easter special, he takes a look at some Kinder eggs, more specifically the toys. However, the toys end up disappointing him, so instead he decides to show a toy that he describes as: "rip-off Donald Duck riding a horrifying tricycle of death" and a dead-eyed motorized chick, which he theorizes is actually a demon disguised as a chick.

** At the end, Ashens has a look at a finger puppet unicorn, complete with four legs for the other fingers. As he works it, he is creeped out by the way it moves.

* In the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UNVUUcvUcE&t 2013 Christmas Special]], Ashens looks at a stretchy rubber Santa Claus toy and believes it to be an alien microorganism disguising itself as Santa to lure and eat children.

* [[https://youtu.be/72R3Xs_HSU4 NerdCubed Mystery Box]]. It's a "lootbox" type that LetsPlay/NerdCubed cobbled together for Ashens, specifially being LOL Surprise mystery items (half of which has Ashen incredulous at the sheer expense of it all) and some utterly senseless wacky chocolate bars (like Chip Shop Curry and Chips in Chocolate...as in, ''literally french fries and curry sauce in chocolate'').

* His painting Easter eggs in "the traditional British style" - painting "PISS" and "ARSE" on them and holding those two together respectively. Then right after:

* His hilarious reaction to '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHCid-GypGI&t=260s THE GOOSE]]''' for his Easter 2013 video, breaking his [[StiffUpperLip unflappable English demeanor]] out of pure startled bemusement, particularly at the bizarre choice of music it was playing. If you go to the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMClR6U5JFA official music video]] for the song ("I Like It" by Solid Base) that was put into THE GOOSE there are lots of commenters who were brought there by Ashens' video. They have a lot of fun quoting Ashen's review, confusing the people who have no idea who Ashens is or what's going on.
* His 'unprofessional' SpitTake [[https://youtu.be/Eaw4mPsyuic?t=570 reaction]] to the Creme Egg-lookalikes is hilarious in its own right. But funnier still was the [[OhCrap sobering silence]] when he realized that, lying in one of the cubicles of the package, [[ParanoiaFuel was a maggot]].

** When he notices the maggot and ''stops talking mid-sentence''.
** As it turns out, the maggot was a prop left there to prank him.

'''Female narrator:''' [[Literature/PrideAndPrejudice It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a-]]\\

'''Female narrator:''' [[Literature/PrideAndPrejudice -in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of-]]\\

--> '''Ashen:''' In case of stains, immediately remove excess goo material then wash with warm water and white vinegar. [[ADateWithRosiePalms Yes, I remember puberty too]].

* Ashens suddenly dropping the package of a fake Darth Vader toy and letting loose [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoHr5BQkNVA&t=12m00s a long string of curse words]] after it shines an LED right directly in his eye.

* In his 2017 Easter special, he takes a look at some Kinder eggs, more specifically the toys. But, the toys end up disappointing him, so instead he decides to take a look at rip-off Donald Duck riding a horrifying tricycle of death and a dead-eyed motorized chick, which Ashens theorizes is actually a demon disguised as a chick.

* His [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG657Vks5Sk&t=603 review]] of a Garden Gnome that doubles as a radio. He was already afraid of it, due to its [[UncannyValley creepy face]], but when he actually tries it out: all that comes through is unsettling music and a strange ticking noise.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJDprMaEm7A This video]] where they eat insects.

** It starts off with a DVD for the movie ''G'', which is a pretty impressive copy of the original DVD, but the description on the back starts off in perfect English until it reaches the nonsensical line "Complex triangular relationship break!", at which point it devolves into nonsense.

* In the first [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE8c3E_VZmY first Video Game Tat video]] Ashen reeling off a list of ridiculous names from ''Franchise/StarWars'', ending with "Rick Santorum".

* Ashen reeling off a list of ridiculous names from ''Franchise/StarWars'', ending with "Rick Santorum".

* During his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuDkr5x3b9Y review]] of greetings cards from the 1970s, he comes across a birthday card which has a young girl thinking about an older woman (presumably her mom) and by the girl's side is a shotgun. This make her look she going to actually [[{{Matricide}} kill her mother]]. Stuart can't help but [[{{Corpsing}} laugh in bewilderment]] at this sight.

* * During his review of Airfix figures, Athens talks about the "Eagles" toyline and their nemesis literally named Dr. War, who looks like a bad Darth Vader cosplay with a minotaur helmet. The best part is when he reveals Dr. War's wrinkly face under his helmet and imitates him.

--> '''Dr. War:''' You're out lads, Dr. War here. Now, if you're thinking of having a war, y'know big old conflict, well y'know one of the big ones with all of the explosions and all the dead kids and the trauma and all that, give us a shout! I've got rockets in me arms; I can really help with that sort of thing. If you come to me office, it's uh, Room 33 above the job center. Um, they're pretty much everyday from 10 in the morning until 4 in the afternoon; uh except Thursday afternoons when I see me nan. Uh, just knock on the door three times and the password is "War"; that's W-A-R, War. Oh no, I think I'm double parked.

*** And the credits and special features taken from ''Film/{{Zodiac|2007}}'', containing spelling errors resulting from OCR software misreading certain letters (such as "Commentary By Diroctor David Finchor"), which [[{{Corpsing}} make Stuart and Alec laugh]]. They lose it pretty badly on "This Is The Zodiac Spoaking" (which Stuart likens to Officer Crabtree from ''Series/AlloAllo'').

*** And the credits and special features taken from ''Film/{{Zodiac}}'', containing spelling errors resulting from OCR software misreading certain letters (such as "Commentary By Diroctor David Finchor"), which [[{{Corpsing}} make Stuart and Alec laugh]]. They lose it pretty badly on "This Is The Zodiac Spoaking" (which Stuart likens to Officer Crabtree from ''Series/AlloAllo'').

** After that, he looks at pirated versions of ''Film/KingArthur'' and '''his own movie (!!)'''; both are actually pretty professional efforts for the most part, aside from the fact that the former advertises Creator/KeiraKnightley as playing "[[ViewerGenderConfusion Sir]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Lencelot]]" and has the credits for ''Film/JohnQ'' on the back, while the latter squishes the movie to a roughly 5:1 aspect ratio and has a made-up credit list that for some bizarre reason claims that Ashens and the director also did make-up effects. Plus the latter also has a short but surprisingly relaxing jazz riff for the menu, which plays at the end of the video as well.

-->'''Stuart''': Although, at the time, that's entirely feasible, but they wanted somebody who was known for their intelligence -- [[TakeThat not Jimmy Savile]] -- and somebody who also I suppose could be trusted so they could say later "Look, we had a trustworthy person." And as it turns out, [[TakeThat that's]] ''[[TakeThat very]]'' [[TakeThat much not Jimmy Savile]].

** The aforementioned gobbledygook is in no way limited to the history of the violin. The entire box is ''littered'' with {{Engrish}}, even down to the tagline ("Build the future small child star"), and it wildly varies from [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus dirty Hungarian phrasebook]] (vaguely coherent but comically bizarre) to ''English as She is Spoke'' ([[TranslationTrainwreck completely indecipherable]] and [[WordSaladHumor unfit for non-comedic purposes]]).
*** Even from the very beginning, "This type of simulation violin,is babies contact music enlightenment partner!" and "[[MeaningfulName funny laughter key(s)]]" caused Stuart to regret not reading the text beforehand.

* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6KMGfmI5UA "Pirate DVD Showcase"]], one of the bootleg [=DVDs=] Ashens reviews is a version of ''Franchise/StarWars: Film/AttackOfTheClones'' with [[TyopOnTheCover several errors on the box]], such as "Episode II" being misspelled as "Episo pe II". And when he gets to reading the [[TranslationTrainWreck severely mistranslated description on the back of the box]], he decides to do [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3_VZC8VE5U an imitation]] of the classic ''Star Wars'' opening text crawl.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6ji8uMengU They return]], and the results are even better. There's a ''Franchise/StarWars: Film/ANewHope'' bootleg that actually doesn't look too bad, until one looks closer and finds out that not only does it say '''The''' New Hope, but all of the images are from pretty much every other ''Star Wars'' film except the one they're trying to sell! Also one of the images is an old fan render for ships that don't appear in the films.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIMhsB9zFGU Third time's]] the charm. It starts off with a DVD for the movie ''G'', which is a pretty impressive copy of the original DVD, but the description on the back starts off in perfect English until it reaches the nonsensical line "Complex triangular relationship break!", at which point it devolves into nonsense.