History Funny / RosencrantzAndGuildensternAreDead

--> '''Guildenstern:''' You know what to do.
--> '''Rosencrantz:''' What?
--> '''Guildenstern:''' Are you stupid?
--> '''Rosencrantz:''' Pardon?
--> '''Guildenstern:''' Are you deaf?
--> '''Rosencrantz:''' Did you speak?
--> '''Guildenstern:''' ''(realizing what he's doing)'' Not now.
--> '''Rosencrantz:''' Statement.
--> '''Guildenstern:''' '''NOT NOW!''' ''(It echos and he and Rosencrantz both look around, as do all the players.)''

-->'''Guildenstern:''' [[CessationOfExistence Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being.]] You can't ''not be'' on a boat.
-->'''Rosencrantz:''' I've frequently not been on boats.
-->'''Guildenstern:''' No, no, no...what you've been is not on boats.

-->'''Rosencrantz:''' My name is Guildenstern, and this is Rosencrantz. (''Guildenstern whispers in his ear'') I'm sorry – ''his'' name's Guildenstern, and ''I'm'' Rosencrantz.

-->'''Guildenstern:''' [[{{Understatement}} He might've had the edge.]]
-->'''Rosencrantz:''' 27-3, and you think he might've had the edge? [[{{Foreshadowing}} He]] ''[[{{Foreshadowing}} murdered]]'' [[{{Foreshadowing}} us]].

-->'''Guildenstern:''' Actors! What do you know about death? Mechanics of cheap melodrama!
-->'''Rosencrantz:''' Cheap melodrama!
-->'''Guildenstern:''' Doesn't bring death home to anyone.
-->'''Rosencrantz:''' Not a home to anyone!
-->'''Guildenstern (to Ros):''' Shut up.
-->'''Rosencrantz:''' Shut up!

-->'''English King:''' Who are you?
-->'''Rosencrantz:''' We are Guildenstern and Rosencrantz.
-->'''English King:''' Which is which?
-->'''Rosencrantz:''' Well, I'm Guildenstern and—
-->'''Guildenstern:''' He's Rosencrantz.
-->'''Rosencrantz:''' Exactly.

-->'''Rosencrantz:''' You're not ''exclsuvisely'' players?
-->'''[[DeadpanSnarker The Player:]]''' We are inclusively players.

-->'''Rosencrantz:''' Exactly.

* Guildentern's diapproving head shakes.

* Rosencrantz, wearing his sleep mask, moves to blow out the bedside candle and misses.

-->'''Guil:''' [[{{Understatement}} He might've had the edge.]]
-->'''Ros:''' 27-3, and you think he might've had the edge? [[{{Foreshadowing}} He]] ''[[{{Foreshadowing}} murdered]]'' [[{{Foreshadowing}} us]].

-->'''Ros:''' 27-3, and you think he might've had the edge? [[{{Foreshadowing}} He ]][[{{Foreshadowing}} ''murdered'' ]][[{{Foreshadowing}} us]].

'''Rosencrantz:''' What?
'''Guildenstern:''' Are you stupid?
'''Rosencrantz:''' Pardon?
'''Guildenstern:''' Are you deaf?
'''Rosencrantz:''' Did you speak?
'''Guildenstern:''' ''(realizing what he's doing)'' Not now.
'''Rosencrantz:''' Statement.
'''Guildenstern:''' '''NOT NOW!''' ''(It echos and he and Rosencrantz both look around, as do all the players.)''

-->'''Guildenstern:''' No, no...what you've been is not on boats.

* The part where Guildenstern and his voice echoes and everyone just looking around in confusion when they hear the echo, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern especially when they look around, as if to say, "Did I/he just do that?" One example being this piece of dialogue:
--> '''Guildenstern:''' You know what to do.\\
'''Rosencrantz:''' What?\\
'''Guildenstern:''' Are you stupid?\\
'''Rosencrantz:''' Pardon?\\
'''Guildenstern:''' Are you deaf?\\
'''Rosencrantz:''' Did you speak?\\
'''Guildenstern:''' ''(realizing what he's doing)'' Not now.\\
'''Rosencrantz:''' Statement.\\
'''Guildenstern:''' '''NOT NOW!''' ''(echo and he and Rosencrantz both look around, as do all the players)''

-->'''Guildenstern:''' [[CessationOfExistence Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being.]] You can't ''not be'' on a boat.\\
''Beat''\\
'''Rosencrantz:''' I've frequently not been on boats.\\
'''Guildenstern:''' No, no...what you've been is not on boats.

-->'''Rosencrantz:''' My name is Guildenstern, and this is Rosencrantz. (''Guildenstern whispers in his ear'') I'm sorry; ''his'' name's Guildenstern, and ''I'm'' Rosencrantz.
* Guildenstern's long pause before telling Rosencrantz, "... I think I'm going to kill you."
* Rosencrantz lifts up a feather and tennis ball.
-->'''Rosencrantz:''' You would think that these ''this'' would take longer to fall than ''this''. (''drops them'') ...and you'd be right.
* Rosencrantz finds a set of pots arranged like a Newton's Cradle. He gives the pot on one end a light tap, the pot on the other end bounces. He tries it again, same thing happens. He raises the pot so that the Cradle can start swinging, and instead they hit and shatter.

-->'''Ros:''' 27-3, and you think he might've had the edge? [[{{Foreshadowing}} He]] ''[[{{Foreshadowing}} murdered]]'' [[{{Foreshadowing}} us]].

-->'''Rosencrantz:''' My name is Guildenstern, and this is Rosencrantz. (''Guildenstern whispers in his ear'') I'm sorry; *his* name's Guildenstern, and *I'm* Rosencrantz.

* Rosencrantz and his giant sandwich.

* Rosencrantz finds a set of pots arranged like a Newton's Cradle. He gives the pot on one end a light tap, the pot on the other end bounces. He tries it again, same thing happens. He raises the pot so that the Cradle can start swinging, and instead they hit and shatter.

'''Rosencrantz:''' You would think that these ''this'' would take longer to fall than ''this''. (''drops them'') ...and you'd be right.

* Guildenstern's long pause before telling Rosencrantz, "... I think I'm going to kill you."

-->'''Rosencrantz:''' My name is Guildenstern, and this is Rosencrantz. (''Guildenstern whispers in his ear'') I'm sorry; *his* name's Guildenstern, and *I'm* Rosencrantz.

'''Guildenstern:''' No, no...what you've been is not on boats.

* A brilliant little moment poking fun at the increasingly philosophical story: -->'''Guildenstern:''' [[CessationOfExistence Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being.]] You can't ''not be'' on a boat.\\

* A brilliant little moment poking fun at the increasingly philosophical story: "[[CessationOfExistence Death is a state of non-being!]] You can't ''not be'' on a boat!" (''Beat'') "I've frequently not been on boats."

* [[YourMileageMayVary YMMV]], but the part where Guildenstern and his voice echoes and everyone just looking around in confusion when they hear the echo, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern especially when they look around, as if to say, "Did I/he just do that?" One example being this piece of dialogue:

'''Guildenstern:''' Not now.\\

'''Guildenstern:''' '''NOT NOW!'''

'''Guildenstern:''' [[ObfuscatingStupidity Are you stupid?]]\\

* [[YourMileageMayVary YMMV]], but the part where Guildenstern and his voice echoes and everyone just looking around in confusion when they hear the echo, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern especially when they look around, as if to say, "Did I/he just do that?"

* A brilliant little moment poking fun at the increasingly philosophical story: "[[CessationOfExistence Death is a state of non-being!]] You can't ''not be'' on a boat!" ''Beat'' "I've frequently not been on boats."

* A brilliant little moment poking fun at the increasingly philosophical story: "Death is a state of non-being! You can't [[CessationOfExistence ''not be'']] on a boat!" ''Beat'' "I've frequently not been on boats."

* [[YourMileageMayVary YMMV]], but the part where Guildenstern and his voice echoes and everyone just looking around in confusion when they hear the echo, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern especially when they look around, as if to say, "Did I/he just do that?"

* [YourMileageMayVary YMMV], but the part where Guildenstern and his voice echoes and everyone just looking around in confusion when they hear the echo, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern especially when they look around, as if to say, "Did I/he just do that?"

* (YourMileageMayVary YMMV), but the part where Guildenstern and his voice echoes and everyone just looking around in confusion when they hear the echo, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern especially when they look around, as if to say, "Did I/he just do that?"