Funny: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

  • Multiple characters looking around after hearing Guildenstern's outburst:
    Guildenstern: You know what to do.
    Rosencrantz: What?
    Guildenstern: Are you stupid?
    Rosencrantz: Pardon?
    Guildenstern: Are you deaf?
    Rosencrantz: Did you speak?
    Guildenstern: (realizing what he's doing) Not now.
    Rosencrantz: Statement.
    Guildenstern: NOT NOW! (It echos and he and Rosencrantz both look around, as do all the players.)
  • A brilliant little moment poking fun at the increasingly philosophical story:
    Guildenstern: Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being. You can't not be on a boat.
    Rosencrantz: I've frequently not been on boats.
    Guildenstern: No, no, no...what you've been is not on boats.
  • Rosencrantz and Guildenstern introduce themselves to the Players...or, try to, anyway.
    Rosencrantz: My name is Guildenstern, and this is Rosencrantz. (Guildenstern whispers in his ear) I'm sorry his name's Guildenstern, and I'm Rosencrantz.
  • Guildenstern's long pause before telling Rosencrantz, "...I think I'm going to kill you."
  • Rosencrantz dropping a leather ball and a feather.
    Rosencrantz: You would think this would fall faster than this, wouldn't you? (drops them) ...And you'd be absolutely right.
  • Rosencrantz finds a set of pots arranged like a Newton's Cradle. When he swings a pot back to demonstrate the effect to Guildenstern, they hit and shatter.
  • Rosencrantz, wearing his sleep mask, moves to blow out the bedside candle and misses.
  • Rosencrantz wakes up with the prow of a pirate's ship crashed through the wall. He's still groggy and mistakes the figurehead on it for a real woman. Just he tries to kiss it, the boat pulls back and carries her/it away.
  • Rosencrantz builds a paper airplane and it flies around the castle before returning to him. When he next shows it to Guildenstern, it's an origami biplane. Guildenstern crumples it.
  • Rosencrantz and his giant sandwich.
  • Rosencrantz's outrage coming out of the "hawk from a handsaw" scene.
    Ros: 27-3, and you think he might've had the edge? He ''murdered'' us.