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* The absolutely ridiculous ways spies sneak into places and the strange ways your assassin can fail. How about putting a [[AnimalAssassin venomous snake]] on the ground of a general's bedroom and having it slither right out of the room or even better, the [[HoistByHisOwnPetard snake bites the assassin]]. Or the assassin hiding behind a door and the general opens it so fast, the assassin gets hit in by the door in the nose or, even better, is KILLED by the door while the general runs away screaming. Ever see a spy hide in a bush or haystack and get stabbed by a suspicious guard? Or most ridiculous of all, trying to drop a rock on a calvaryman?
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* The absolutely ridiculous ways spies sneak into places and the strange ways your assassin can fail. How about putting a [[AnimalAssassin venomous snake]] on the ground of a general's bedroom and having it slither right out of the room or even better, the [[HoistByHisOwnPetard snake bites the assassin]]. Or the assassin hiding behind a door and the general opens it so fast, the assassin gets hit in by the door in the nose or, even better, is KILLED by the door while the general runs away screaming. Ever see a spy hide in a bush or haystack and get stabbed by a suspicious guard? Or try to shoot the Pope, only to hit his massive hat? Or most ridiculous of all, trying to drop a rock on a calvaryman?
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--> Imam: If Allah is willing, you will leave me alone!
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--> Imperial Assassin: Wat gafe me away? [[LampshadeHanging The accent?]]
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--> Imperial Assassin: Wat gafe me away? [[LampshadeHanging The Ze accent?]]
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* Being offered vassalage by an enemy, despite you being more powerful than them by a wide margin. The epitome of SmallNameBigEgo.
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* Being offered vassalage by an enemy, despite you being more powerful than them by a wide margin. The epitome of SmallNameBigEgo. Alternatively, the diplomat of an enemy whose empire you've reduced to a single territory offering a ceasefire...in exchange for a ''huge'' payout and several of their territories back. It seems like these diplomats are programmed to always bargain as if they're in a position of power.
* Having negotiations go sour with a princess from the Holy Roman Empire can have her taunt you.
-->'''HRE Princess''': Not the first time you've left a fraulein unsatisfied, nein?
* Having negotiations go sour with a princess from the Holy Roman Empire can have her taunt you.
-->'''HRE Princess''': Not the first time you've left a fraulein unsatisfied, nein?
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* On some occasions, a enemy Prince will give you a mission to kill his father so that he can take power of his almost ruined kingdom. He will inevitably betray you if you succeed. However, many times, his father will be in their faction's last city. You can kill his father as requested and he will laugh at you for doing his bidding at the ''exact moment'' his faction falls and he becomes a rebel (unlike the later Rome 2, rebels can reform destroyed factions).
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Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
* The absolutely ridiculous ways spies sneak into places and the strange ways your assassin can fail. How about putting a poisonous snake on the ground of a general's bedroom and having it slither right out of the room or even better, the [[HoistByHisOwnPetard snake bites the assassin]]. Or the assassin hiding behind a door and the general opens it so fast, the assassin gets hit in by the door in the nose or, even better, is KILLED by the door while the general runs away screaming. Ever see a spy hide in a bush or haystack and get stabbed by a suspicious guard? Or most ridiculous of all, trying to drop a rock on a calvaryman?
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* The absolutely ridiculous ways spies sneak into places and the strange ways your assassin can fail. How about putting a poisonous snake [[AnimalAssassin venomous snake]] on the ground of a general's bedroom and having it slither right out of the room or even better, the [[HoistByHisOwnPetard snake bites the assassin]]. Or the assassin hiding behind a door and the general opens it so fast, the assassin gets hit in by the door in the nose or, even better, is KILLED by the door while the general runs away screaming. Ever see a spy hide in a bush or haystack and get stabbed by a suspicious guard? Or most ridiculous of all, trying to drop a rock on a calvaryman?
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* If a General or Family Member marries a Princess with the "Secret Lover" trait he will become known as "The Cuckold." This is made even funnier now that "cuck" has become a go to insult for internet trolls in the [[HilariousInHindsight years following the games release]].
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* Princesses can have high charm even when they gain ugliness traits. It is indeed quite possible to have a maximum charm princess who any foreign prince would love to marry, but whose face has earned her an unfortunate name like "Agnes the Gorgon".
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--> Scotsman: I WILL CUT OFF YA HEAD AND SHHHIT DOWN YA NECK!
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--> Scotsman: I WILL I'LL CUT OFF YA YARR HEAD AND SHHHIT SHIT DOWN YA YARR NECK!
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Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
--> Imperial Assassin : Wat gafe me away ? [[LampshadeHanging The accent ?]]
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--> Imperial Assassin : Assassin: Wat gafe me away ? away? [[LampshadeHanging The accent ?]]accent?]]
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Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
* The absolutely ridiculous ways spies sneak into places and the strange ways your assassin can fail. How about putting a poisonous snake on the ground of a general's bedroom and having it slither right out of the room or even better, the [[HoistByHisOwnPetard snake bites the assassin]]. Or the assassin hiding behind a door and the general opens it so fast, the assassin gets hit in by the door in the nose or, even better, is KILLED by the door while the general runs away screaming. Ever see a spy hide in a bush or haystack and get stabbed by a suspicious guard?
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* The absolutely ridiculous ways spies sneak into places and the strange ways your assassin can fail. How about putting a poisonous snake on the ground of a general's bedroom and having it slither right out of the room or even better, the [[HoistByHisOwnPetard snake bites the assassin]]. Or the assassin hiding behind a door and the general opens it so fast, the assassin gets hit in by the door in the nose or, even better, is KILLED by the door while the general runs away screaming. Ever see a spy hide in a bush or haystack and get stabbed by a suspicious guard?guard? Or most ridiculous of all, trying to drop a rock on a calvaryman?
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* Being offered vassalage by an enemy, despite you being more powerful than them by a wide margin. The epitome of SmallNameBigEgo.
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** Well, almost always. You ''can'' kill a princess with assassination (I've done it), you'll just probably need SaveScumming to get lucky enough.
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--> Imperial Assassin : Wat gafe me away ? [[LampshadeHanging The accent ?]]
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--> Assassin: You can't see me. [[JediMindTrick This encounter never happened.]]
Deleted line(s) 13 (click to see context) :
--> Assassin: You can't see me. [[JediMindTrick This encounter never happened.]]
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* Many of the quotes you get from the clicking on the enemy regiments/companies/platoons on the world map. Most of them have really bad accents and what they say depends on you status with their kingdom. Also, the speeches before the battles can be awesome and hilarious. Some them use RefugeInAudacity and VulgarHumor then finishing up the speech with a [[HypocriticalHumor religious statement]]. It is just so weird to have a noble warrior say he will sex up the enemies women in one speech and say that he is doing Christ's work in another while calling the French smelly and unwashed using old terms like "knave" like they're candy.
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* Many of the quotes you get from the clicking on the enemy regiments/companies/platoons on the world map. Most of them have really bad accents and what they say depends on you status Especially with their kingdom. Also, the speeches before the battles can be awesome and hilarious. Some them use RefugeInAudacity and VulgarHumor then finishing up the speech with a [[HypocriticalHumor religious statement]]. It is just so weird to have a noble warrior say he will sex up the enemies women in one speech and say that he is doing Christ's work in another while calling the French smelly and unwashed using old terms like "knave" like they're candy.bad accents.
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--> Enemy Fleet: [[CaptainObvious Yes, fool, this is an enemy ship.]]
* Many, many of the pre-battle speeches. Some of them use RefugeInAudacity and VulgarHumor then finishing up the speech with a [[HypocriticalHumor religious statement]]. It is just so weird to have a noble warrior say he will sex up the enemies women in one speech and say that he is doing Christ's work in another while calling the French smelly and unwashed using old terms like "knave" like they're candy.
* Many, many of the pre-battle speeches. Some of them use RefugeInAudacity and VulgarHumor then finishing up the speech with a [[HypocriticalHumor religious statement]]. It is just so weird to have a noble warrior say he will sex up the enemies women in one speech and say that he is doing Christ's work in another while calling the French smelly and unwashed using old terms like "knave" like they're candy.
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--> French General: Saint Denis preserve us! [[RantInducingSlight I have seldom seen a more dispiriting sight than the English army]]. They have [[LongList no sense of style, no élan, no manly virtues, no reason to live, no decent food, no attractive womenfolk and their leaders - why, the Devil himself would be shamed to have them in Hell!]]
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* The game seems dead set on it being impossible to [[DoubleStandard assassinate a princess.]] It ALWAYS ends in the assassin getting killed. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Also, the princess has a nicer bed than anyone else in the game...]]
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* The game seems dead set on it being impossible to [[DoubleStandard assassinate a princess.]] It ALWAYS ends in the assassin getting killed. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Also, the princess has a nicer bed than anyone else in the game...]]
]][[note]]Princesses actually have a hidden trait to protect them against assassins and inquisitors.[[/note]]
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--> English General: Our foes, The French, it is said, [[EveryoneIsSexierIfFrench are better lovers]] [[CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys than they are fighters]]. This is true lads, [[BestialityIsDepraved ask any goat, pig or other farmyard animal]].
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--> English General: Our foes, The French, it is said, [[EveryoneIsSexierIfFrench [[EveryoneLooksSexierIfFrench are better lovers]] [[CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys than they are fighters]]. This is true lads, [[BestialityIsDepraved ask any goat, pig or other farmyard animal]].
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
--> English General: Our foes, The French, it is said, [[EveryoneIsSexierIfFrench are better lovers]] [[CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys than they are fighters]]. This is true lads, [[BeastialityIsDepraved ask any goat, pig or other farmyard animal]].
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--> English General: Our foes, The French, it is said, [[EveryoneIsSexierIfFrench are better lovers]] [[CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys than they are fighters]]. This is true lads, [[BeastialityIsDepraved [[BestialityIsDepraved ask any goat, pig or other farmyard animal]].
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
--> English General: Our foes, The French, it is said, are better lovers than they are fighters. This is true lads, ask any goat, pig or other farmyard animal.
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--> English General: Our foes, The French, it is said, [[EveryoneIsSexierIfFrench are better lovers lovers]] [[CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys than they are fighters. fighters]]. This is true lads, [[BeastialityIsDepraved ask any goat, pig or other farmyard animal.animal]].
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Changed line(s) 13,14 (click to see context) from:
* The game seems dead set on it being impossible to [[DoubleStandard assassinate a princess.]] It ALWAYS ends in the assassin getting killed. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Also, the princess has a nicer bed then the princess...]]
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* The game seems dead set on it being impossible to [[DoubleStandard assassinate a princess.]] It ALWAYS ends in the assassin getting killed. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Also, the princess has a nicer bed then than anyone else in the princess...game...]]
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Changed line(s) 13,14 (click to see context) from:
* The game seems dead set on it being impossible to [[DoubleStandard assassinate a princess.]] It ALWAYS ends in the assassin getting killed. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Also, the princess has a nicer bed then the princes...]]
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* The game seems dead set on it being impossible to [[DoubleStandard assassinate a princess.]] It ALWAYS ends in the assassin getting killed. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Also, the princess has a nicer bed then the princes...princess...]]
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----
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* The game seems dead set on it being impossible to [[DoubleStandards assassinate a princess.]] It ALWAYS ends in the assassin getting killed. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Also, the princess has a nicer bed then the princes...]]
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* The game seems dead set on it being impossible to [[DoubleStandards [[DoubleStandard assassinate a princess.]] It ALWAYS ends in the assassin getting killed. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Also, the princess has a nicer bed then the princes...]]]]
----
----
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
* Many of the quotes you get from the clicking on the enemy regiments/companies/platoons on the world map. Most of them have really bad accents and what they say depends on you status with their kingdom. Also, the speeches before the battles can be awesome and hilarious. Some them use RefugeInAudacity and RefugeInVulgarity then finishing up the speech with a [[HypocriticalHumor religious statement]]. It is just so weird to have a noble warrior say he will sex up the enemies women in one speech and say that he is doing Christ's work in another while calling the French smelly and unwashed using old terms like "knave" like they're candy.
to:
* Many of the quotes you get from the clicking on the enemy regiments/companies/platoons on the world map. Most of them have really bad accents and what they say depends on you status with their kingdom. Also, the speeches before the battles can be awesome and hilarious. Some them use RefugeInAudacity and RefugeInVulgarity VulgarHumor then finishing up the speech with a [[HypocriticalHumor religious statement]]. It is just so weird to have a noble warrior say he will sex up the enemies women in one speech and say that he is doing Christ's work in another while calling the French smelly and unwashed using old terms like "knave" like they're candy.
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--> Pole: I neither trust nor trust you.
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--> Pole: I neither trust nor trust distrust you.
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* Becoming very trustworthy and getting max happiness with another kingdom by offering ONE florin to them and having them accept a few dozen times (in one turn), then IMMEDIATELY getting attacked by them next turn making it impossible for anyone to ever trust them later. Florin for you thoughts?
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* Becoming very trustworthy and getting max happiness with another kingdom by offering ONE florin to them and having them accept a few dozen times (in one turn), turn by using the gift option), then IMMEDIATELY getting attacked by them next turn making it impossible for anyone to ever trust them later. Florin for you thoughts?
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--> English General: Our foes, The French, it is said, are better lovers than they are fighters. This is true lads, ask any goat, pig or other farmyard animal.
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--> English General: Our foes, The French, it is said, are better lovers than they are fighters. This is true lads, ask any goat, pig or other farmyard animal.animal.
-->English General: Well hail, slap my thighs and call me for dinner! I see a foe worth the killing and lads beside me who are up to the mark. I can also feel and inspiring speech coming on, so listen to me...
--> Mongol General: [to his enemy] Struggle if you like, I will take your lands and women, regardless; You will have no rights, once you are my prisoner; Was it your brother I killed? You all look alike to me.
-->English General: Well hail, slap my thighs and call me for dinner! I see a foe worth the killing and lads beside me who are up to the mark. I can also feel and inspiring speech coming on, so listen to me...
--> Mongol General: [to his enemy] Struggle if you like, I will take your lands and women, regardless; You will have no rights, once you are my prisoner; Was it your brother I killed? You all look alike to me.
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* Becoming very trustworthy and getting max happiness with another kingdom by offering ONE florin to them and having them accept a few dozen times (in one turn), then IMMEDIATELY getting attacked by them next turn making it impossible for anyone to ever trust them later. Florin for you thoughts?
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* Becoming very trustworthy and getting max happiness with another kingdom by offering ONE florin to them and having them accept a few dozen times (in one turn), then IMMEDIATELY getting attacked by them next turn making it impossible for anyone to ever trust them later. Florin for you thoughts?thoughts?
* The game seems dead set on it being impossible to [[DoubleStandards assassinate a princess.]] It ALWAYS ends in the assassin getting killed. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Also, the princess has a nicer bed then the princes...]]
* The game seems dead set on it being impossible to [[DoubleStandards assassinate a princess.]] It ALWAYS ends in the assassin getting killed. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Also, the princess has a nicer bed then the princes...]]
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Added DiffLines:
--> English General: Our foes, The French, it is said, are better lovers than they are fighters. This is true lads, ask any goat, pig or other farmyard animal.
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Added DiffLines:
* Many of the quotes you get from the clicking on the enemy regiments/companies/platoons on the world map. Most of them have really bad accents and what they say depends on you status with their kingdom. Also, the speeches before the battles can be awesome and hilarious. Some them use RefugeInAudacity and RefugeInVulgarity then finishing up the speech with a [[HypocriticalHumor religious statement]]. It is just so weird to have a noble warrior say he will sex up the enemies women in one speech and say that he is doing Christ's work in another while calling the French smelly and unwashed using old terms like "knave" like they're candy.
--> Frenchman: Ze is not your army Lord.
--> Pole: I neither trust nor trust you.
--> Scotsman: I WILL CUT OFF YA HEAD AND SHHHIT DOWN YA NECK!
--> Assassin: You can't see me. [[JediMindTrick This encounter never happened.]]
* The absolutely ridiculous ways spies sneak into places and the strange ways your assassin can fail. How about putting a poisonous snake on the ground of a general's bedroom and having it slither right out of the room or even better, the [[HoistByHisOwnPetard snake bites the assassin]]. Or the assassin hiding behind a door and the general opens it so fast, the assassin gets hit in by the door in the nose or, even better, is KILLED by the door while the general runs away screaming. Ever see a spy hide in a bush or haystack and get stabbed by a suspicious guard?
* Becoming very trustworthy and getting max happiness with another kingdom by offering ONE florin to them and having them accept a few dozen times (in one turn), then IMMEDIATELY getting attacked by them next turn making it impossible for anyone to ever trust them later. Florin for you thoughts?
--> Frenchman: Ze is not your army Lord.
--> Pole: I neither trust nor trust you.
--> Scotsman: I WILL CUT OFF YA HEAD AND SHHHIT DOWN YA NECK!
--> Assassin: You can't see me. [[JediMindTrick This encounter never happened.]]
* The absolutely ridiculous ways spies sneak into places and the strange ways your assassin can fail. How about putting a poisonous snake on the ground of a general's bedroom and having it slither right out of the room or even better, the [[HoistByHisOwnPetard snake bites the assassin]]. Or the assassin hiding behind a door and the general opens it so fast, the assassin gets hit in by the door in the nose or, even better, is KILLED by the door while the general runs away screaming. Ever see a spy hide in a bush or haystack and get stabbed by a suspicious guard?
* Becoming very trustworthy and getting max happiness with another kingdom by offering ONE florin to them and having them accept a few dozen times (in one turn), then IMMEDIATELY getting attacked by them next turn making it impossible for anyone to ever trust them later. Florin for you thoughts?
