History Funny / METALOCALYPSE

* Meta-example: On [=FMyLife.com=], someone [[https://www.fmylife.com/article/today-while-babysitting-a-five-year-old-i-found-a-cartoon-called-metalocalypse-for-him-to-watch-wh_148608.html posted a story]] about how they were babysitting a 5-year-old and turned on ''Metalocalypse'' for him to watch, not realizing it was an adult cartoon until he'd finished watching an entire episode about "a clown with a cocaine problem".

Tits\\

titty fish

-->'''Pickles:''' What are you, [[NotDistractedByTheSexy a eunuch]]? Sign us up!
-->'''Offdensen:''' They're not paying you and you'll lose money.
-->'''Toki:''' So?? F**k that! I'd pay them for this!

-->'''Toki:''' ''(sobbing, holding a baseball bat)'' You bastard, why you make me do this??

-->'''Skwisgaar:''' Ugh, just let me records it. He's terrible! Each day he gets worse! He's slowly learning hows to un-play the guitar!
-->'''Toki:''' I can hear you, the talk-back mike is on.
-->'''Skwisgaar:''' Pickle, please let me know when the talks-back mic is on so Mr. Sensitives don'ts goes to crybaby's house for vacations?
-->'''Toki:''' I can still hear you.
-->'''Skwisgaar:''' Well what do you want?! A "Be-Ables-to-Hears-Things" award?!
-->'''Toki:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Eh, not really. Doesn't sounds like a greats award to be honest.]]

-->'''Nathan''': *[[BlowingARaspberry pfffft]]* oooooo, ahhhhhhh, ooo, ahh, la la la la *clap clap clap clap*

--> '''Charles''': Well, can you send him back?
--> '''Nathan''': Hey, that's a pretty harsh thing to say but no, we can't, we already tried.

-->'''Skwisgaar''': Yeah?
-->'''Pickles''': You write these questions?
-->'''Skwisgaar''': Yeah I did.

-->'''Klokateer 421:''' I am a highly skilled microphone cleaner my masters, and what I most can't the least, would be do not a bad job, but always a good.

-->'''Nathan:''' Let me ask a question. And ''be honest.'' ....'''''Are you the guy who's embezzling from us?'''''
-->'''Klokateer 421:''' No.
-->'''{{Beat}}'''
-->'''Nathan:'''....Okay. I believe you.

-->'''Woman''': Why are you all hunched over?
-->'''Murderface''': I tried to suck my own [[VerbalBackspace d- eeehhh - I - I had to save some babies!]]
-->'''Woman''': *unimpressed look*
-->'''Murderface''': *defiant stare*

-->'''Charles:''' I'm going to be out of town for a few days, Nathan, Pickles, I'm trusting you to look after the band while I'm gone, 'kay?
-->'''Nathan:''' Who do we have to be in charge?
-->'''Charles:''' Because you two are the most responsible.
-->'''Nathan:''' That's bullshit!
-->'''Pickles:''' You're responsible, not us.
-->'''Nathan:''' Don't call us responsible.
-->'''{{Beat}}'''
-->'''Charles:''' Well, you are the most responsible.
-->'''Nathan:''' Yeah, well, fuck you too.

-->'''Nathan:''' "Yeah you're right. Let's go. Charles always gets pissed off if we're late, you know? He's such an uptight dilllllllllldoooooo hi."
-->'''Charles:''' "...Hi."

-->'''Pickles:''' "I got all this extra dangle room for my f[[SoundEffectBleep *guitar riff*]]kin' Irish c[[SoundEffectBleep *guitar riff*]]ck!"
-->'''Pickles''': ''[as the crowd are getting mad]'' Toki, your special outfits, while very comfortable, ARE GOING TO GET US KILLED!

-->'''Murderface''': "AW, WHO THE FUCK PEED ON ME?"
-->'''Pickles''': "I think you're the culprit in this particular mystery."
-->'''Murderface''': "How can I pee on myself if I'm right here?"

-->'''Murderface''': "He seems fibrillated."

-->A million miles from nowhere
-->dragon lance burns hot
-->in the fire of a horse's ghost, a minnow would be lost
-->Cha-ch-ch-ch-changes
-->Mmmhmm
-->Tits
-->a fish
-->a fish with tits
-->titty fish

--> '''Skwisgaar''': "All they sings abouts is trains!"

--> '''Dr Rockso''': "This one was banned from MTV because you could see my junk through my jumpsuit."
--> '''Murdeface''': "I believe that is known as freeballin'."

-->'''Charles''': That's good. Where is he?
-->'''Klokateer''': He's dead. ''(camera pulls out to show the remains of the tracker stuffed in a wheelbarrow)''
-->'''Charles''': ''(barely fazed)'' Oh. ...Throw him in the garbage.

-->'''Doctor Rockso''': C-C-C-C-C-[[OverlyLongGag C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-]]COCAINE!
* The song Hatredcopter, mostly because of it's subject matter of a man who signed up with either the military or a mercenary group with ''absolutely no experience'' simply because the helicopter looked badass.
-->I am likely to find for my failure to fly
-->That I will be fired for not killing you
-->Cause that is my job
-->Hatredcopter

--> '''Toki''': [[DyingDeclarationOfHate I've always hated you, Skwisgaar.]]
--> '''Skwisgaar''': I knows Toki. I knows.

* The band going away to the Caribbean for a weekend to dry out and get healthy in preparation for a doctors visit. They spend the entire time there partying like animals. They end up coming back in even worse shape than they were when they left.
--> '''Offdensen''': From the look and...''smell'' of you guys, you drank and did drugs the entire time.
--> '''Nathan''': Uh, whoops?

--> '''Murderface''': Hey, my uncle had a big huge thing growing on his neck, and he's totally fine. Then he goes to the doctor...''cancer''. Bing bam, hair out, [[RunningGag Hamburger Time]].

* In "Performanceklok", there's Murderface's [[CrossesTheLineTwice horribly twisted flashback]] of him as a baby being unfazed by his father's MurderSuicide of himself and his wife with a {{chainsaw|Good}}, mainly because of how over the top said murder-suicide was:

* In "Performanceklok", there's Murderface's [[CrossesTheLineTwice horribly twisted flashback]] of him as a baby being unfazed by his father's MurderSuicide of himself and his wife with a {{chainsaw|Good}}:

* In "Performanceklok", there's Murderface's horribly twisted flashback of him as a baby being unfazed by his father's MurderSuicide of himself and his wife with a {{chainsaw|Good}}:
-->'''Murderface's father''': (off-screen, screaming at the top of his lungs) How could I ever marry you?! I kill you! Here goes! ''[kills his wife]'' First my left leg! ''[[[AnArmAndALeg severs his leg]]]'' Good! Now the right! ''[severs his other leg]'' Now the arm! ''[severs his arm]'' '''NOW MY FACE!''' ''[screams]''

* Pickles yelling at Jean-Pierre in The Curse of Dethklok. "By the power of all that is evil, I command you to awaken and make me a sandwich!"

* Toki is recording his part of a a new song in the studio while his band mates watch:

--> '''Pickles''': Hey, get it right this time, or I will literally murder you. Your ''life'' is at stake.

-->'''Nathan:''' You're in a tribute band paying tribute to ''yourself''? That's like jacking off to a picture of yourself online.
-->'''Murderface:''' Which I've done.
-->'''Toki:''' Of course I'm nots paying tributes to myself, in Thunderhorse, I'm Skwisgaar!
-->'''Skwisgaar:''' That's why my pants and shirts keeps disappearing! That's fucking weird, dudes!
-->'''Toki:''' Well we're really good, we plays every Thursday nights!
-->'''Murderface:''' ...Wait a minute.
-->'''Nathan:''' Thursday night? That's impossible, you have astronaut class on Thursday night!
-->'''Murderface:''' Astronaut class is a lie!? I've been telling everyone you're gonna be an astronaut! Now ''you're'' making ''me'' look like an asshole!

--->'''Murderface:''' Women are physically incapable of achieving brutality, it's just a cruel fact of nature!
--->'''Toki:''' But that lady Pickles is pretty cute, though.
--->'''Nathan:''' That's kinda creepy...no it isn't, she does have pretty eyes.

--->'''Charles:''' So...Where are you guys from?
--->'''Edgar:''' Sandusky, Ohio.
--->'''Charles:''' Oh. There's an amusement park there, right?
--->'''Edgar:''' [[TheComicallySerious Yes, there is an amusement park.]]
--->'''Charles:''' Well, that's always fun.

* Brendon Small, being JustForFun/OneOfUs, got really excited to hear Creator/MarkHamill, ''freaking [[{{Film/StarWars}} Luke Skywalker]]'', reading lines on the show. That didn't stop him from being a {{Troll}} and intentionally giving Mr. Hamill [[TheUnpronouncable unpronounceable names to say]] as Senator Stampingston (even just "rolling his knuckles on the keyboard" at points), just because Hamill became very determined to read them correctly. [[http://www.feralaudio.com/38-brendon-small/ You can hear the story here.]]

* Skwisgaar and Toki being cornered by the Revengencers soldiers during the climax of the season 2 finale after their escape pods are separated from the others.
--> '''Toki''': [[DyingDeclarationOfHate I hates you, Skwisgaar.]]
--> '''Skwisgaar''': I knows.

* [[Uncomfortable Elevator Moment The painfully awkward conversation between Charles and the Jomfru Brothers in the elevator]] during Mordland definitely counts, if you forget what immediately follows.

* The painfully awkward conversation between Charles and the Jomfru Brothers in the elevator during Mordland definitely counts, if you forget what immediately follows.

--->'''Edgar:''' Yes, there is an amusement park.

----

--->'''Charles:''' Well, that's always fun.

----

* When trying to learn to play Blues music, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZwgLt0QadU the band learns that they must sell their soul to the Devil in order to truly achieve blues fame and talent.]] When reviewing the binding contracts, the band shows off that they are remarkable talented at contract negotiation and after several revisions the Devil would eventually end up owing them a portion of his own soul.

'''Dr. Rockso''': ''(Looking him in the eye and whispering)'' I do cocaine.\\

** "I woke up with a...clown's hand...in my pants. T-That's what I did today."
-->''(Dr. Rockso slips his hand into the pants of a sleeping Murderface...then Murderface wakes up and notices him.)''\\

* Brendon Small, being OneOfUs, got really excited to hear Creator/MarkHamill, ''freaking [[{{Film/StarWars}} Luke Skywalker]]'', reading lines on the show. That didn't stop him from being a {{Troll}} and intentionally giving Mr. Hamill [[TheUnpronouncable unpronounceable names to say]] as Senator Stampingston (even just "rolling his knuckles on the keyboard" at points), just because Hamill became very determined to read them correctly. [[http://www.feralaudio.com/38-brendon-small/ You can hear the story here.]]

-->'''Pickles:''' What are you, a eunuch?? Sign us up!

-->'''Offdensen''': [[TheComicallySerious Oh my gosh, what's going on here, stop torturing him]]... [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYFkfJ80w5U give him one more]].

*** Among the things he tried to think of to not get aroused, ''Series/TheGoldenGirls'' was one of those thoughts.

* Toki's MushroomSamba / BusbyBerkeleyNumber from Dethwater (he was stuffed in a tank, which was then filled with liquid oxygen).