History Funny / KnightsOfTheOldRepublicIITheSithLords

--> '''Handmaiden''': Atton. ''Restrain yourself.'' Besides, [[NoExceptYes a blaster would be unnecessary when a nerve strike to his neck would incapacitate him painfully without inflicting any lasting harm]].

-->'''Atton''': "Just so you Jedi know, the whole "cryptic routine" isn't mysterious, it's just irritating. If you really ''can'' see the future, you should be at the pazaak table."\\

-->'''[[spoiler: Darth Sion]]:''' And I get the fool.
-->'''Atton:''' [[FacingTheBulletsOneLiner Funny, that's just what I was thinking.]]

-->'''HK:''' Oh hello there, little T3 unit. I am HK-47, protocol and translation droid.
-->'''T3:''' Beep? Beep deet? (Roughly, "Are you all right?")
-->'''HK:''' Of course I am all right. Why wouldn't I be?

-->'''HK''': [[ColdHam Staaaatmeeent: Aaaapathy is deeeeaaaath.]]

--> '''HK-50''': Inneffectual Command: We command you to ''stop''!

-->'''Twi'lek:''' No offense, but Vogga generally likes his dancers younger.
-->'''Kreia:''' (''in a voice that combines snark with irritation'') None taken.

-->'''Opa Chono:''' Fine! Here! [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe Blackmailed by a droid]]...

* With the Restored Content mod, [[spoiler: the Exile's Jedi party members will try to attack Kreia in the end-game]], with everyone uttering rather BadAss lines. Atton instead gets this:

[[AC:HK-47]]
* [[http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/KOTOR%202/content/Ebon%20Hawk%20-%20HK-47%20Mocks%20KOTOR%201.mp3 "Mockery: Oh master, I love you, but I hate all you stand for, but I think we should go press our slimy, mucus-covered lips together in the cargo hold!"]]
** Which may be the funniest line Creator/JenniferHale has ever delivered. And that's saying something.
* HK defines love. The best part about this line (that people always forget) is that, in context, it becomes almost sweet... or at least as sweet as HK can ever be.
-->"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds."
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoNyif8iURI The pacifist package.]] The result freaks the Exile out so much that [[WeWantOurJerkBack s/he removes it]].
** Should T3 be in the party (outside the Hawk) or passing by (inside the Hawk), we get this exchange (paraphrased):
-->'''HK:''' Oh hello there, little T3 unit. I am HK-47, protocol and translation droid.
-->'''T3:''' Beep? Beep deet? (Roughly, "Are you all right?")
-->'''HK:''' Of course I am all right. Why wouldn't I be?
** A vision of him in the tomb on Korriban:
-->'''HK''': [[ColdHam Staaaatmeeent: Aaaapathy is deeeeaaaath.]]

[[AC:The Exile]]

[[AC:Atton]]

* "Look, not that your naked interrogation isn't a personal fantasy of mine..."

** [[spoiler: When the rest of the party is defeated, Atton runs away and is intercepted by [[TechnicallyLivingZombie Darth Sion]], which causes this exchange to take place.]]

-->'''Atton:''' Funny, that's just what I was thinking.

[[AC:Unsorted]]
* This exchange:
--> '''Atton''': "Did anybody here catch that? All I understood was 'very.'"
--> '''Bao-Dur''': "I think he wanted us to give up the General to his poorly-trained collection of bounty hunters."
--> '''Atton''': "Ah. Well that should explain it. Which one do you want?"
--> '''Bao-Dur''': "I'll take the stupid one who decided to threaten us [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim rather than shoot us when he had the chance.]]"
* [[DoesNotUnderstandSarcasm The Disciple or Handmaiden]] completely not getting Atton's sardonicism. "No, Atton! I think it might ''be'' a trap!"
* The Exile needs to break into Vogga the Hutt's vault to get parts to rebuild her lightsaber. To do so the idea is to have either her or another party member dance for him, then sneak in when he falls asleep. Try and get Mira and we get this exchange.
-->'''Mira:''' You want me to do it? Why can't you do it?
-->'''Exile:''' You're right. You're probably not Vogga's type.
-->'''Mira:''' Oh, so it gonna be like that? Fine. I will do it. I'm not gonna back down from a challenge like that.
** There's also the option of suggesting Kreia.
-->'''Twi'lek:''' No offense, but Vogga generally likes his dancers younger.
-->'''Kreia:''' (''in a voice that combines snark with irritation'') None taken.
* G0-T0's haggling with a salvager in the ruins of the Jedi Enclave shows the dangers inherent in building a droid that knows every law of every planet in the history of ever:
-->'''G0-T0:''' Amendment 1695-30 of the Khoonda Civil Code allows us to sell you into slavery.
-->'''Jorran:''' What?! That's ridiculous!
-->'''G0-T0:''' Paragraph 12: Salvageable items include organic matter incapable of leaving the boundaries of the salvage area.
-->'''Jorran:''' You wouldn't!
-->'''G0-T0:''' A male human such as yourself would fetch approximately 500 credits on the auction block on Nar Shadaa. Therefore, I suggest you sell your goods for a sum 500 credits less than your initial figure.

* On Telos, if you take the light side path and help the Ithorians, you get a quest where you control Czerka's protocol droid. And that quest is full of pure fun, first in tricking the high-and-mighty Czerka officer Jana Lorso, and then, there is this exchange with the maintenance droid T1-N1:
-->'''B4-D4''': Farewell, T1-N1. [[CouldSayItBut Please, do not abuse my trust]] and fire on the personnel while I'm occupied, thereby [[WeNeedADiversion creating a diversion]] that will allow me to escape with the stolen files.
** Also, you can talk to the Duros who maintains B-4D4, and what follows is B-4D4 pointing out that it undergoes memory wipes a lot more than normal. Almost as if he had something to hide... But of course, B-4D4 could "forget" to mention it to Jana Lorso, in exchange for, oh, let's say... 25 credits? The best part? IT WORKS.
-->'''Opa Chono:''' Fine! Here! [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe Blackmailed by a droid]]...
* In the restored content, if you find the love interest's message from the first game, Kreia will later attack T3 screaming, "BETRAYAL!" It's so incongruent, it's hysterical.
* After Kreia warns a male Exile about their relationship with Visas and not to get intimate;
--> '''Exile''': Just because I saved her doesn't mean I want to charge up her loading ramp!
* An [[HypocriticalHumor unintentional]] meta-example from the endgame, while attempting to [[TalkingTheMonsterToDeath talk Sion to death]]:
--> '''Sion:''' You seek to erode my will. You will not succeed.\\
[You have eroded Sion's will, reducing his Will saves, Constitution, and Wisdom.]
* It's a shame that the Droid Factory was DummiedOut, as it seems there would have been a number of amusing moments. This particular one comes right after HK-47 asks a group of HK-50's [[ArmorPiercingQuestion why the facility was built]].
--> '''HK-50 #1''': Dismissive Answer: We do not know. It is not important.
--> '''HK-50 #2''': Timid Theory: Perhaps the humans simply liked being underground. They are strange that way.
--> ''The rest of the HK's turn to look at the HK that just spoke''
--> '''HK-50 #2''': It is merely a theory.
--> '''HK-50 #1''': Irritated Statement: That is the least probable theory in the galaxy. Perhaps it is time you received a memory wipe.
--> '''HK-50 #2''': Defensive Statement: The theory is no less valid than ''your'' theories. In the lack of evidence, I defend my position.
** Downloading the TSLRCM adds all the HK-47 and HK-50 conversation back to the game, allowing you to experience the factory in all of it's HamToHamCombat glory. Just one of the funniest events includes 47 walking up to the usual [[RuleOfThree trio]] of 50's, realizes that his programming prevents him from attacking "himself", realizes ''their'' programming prevents them from attack "themself", and proceeds to simply [[TakeAThirdOption walk past them]].
--> '''HK-50''': Inneffectual Command: We command you to ''stop''!
* A rather funny line from Mira while training her as a Jedi:

* On Nar Shadaa, you meet a man who claims to be the original owner of the Ebon Hawk, before it came into Davik's possession all the way back in the first game. After the argument (no matter how it ends):
-->'''Atton''': ''[Chuckling]'' Lemme shoot him in the back! No one has to know.
--> '''Handmaiden''': Atton. ''Restrain yourself.'' Besides, [[NoExceptYes a blaster would be unnecessary when a nerve strike to his neck would incapacitate him painfully without inflicting any lasting harm]].
--> '''Atton''': ''[Bemused]'' Point taken.
* The T3-M4 part of Nar Shaadha, mainly because, due to the way his "dialogue" is written, we have no idea of what it might be saying. And, if you've got the Restored Content mod, you meet T1-N1 and b4-D4 again and T3 and T1 have a "discussion" that ends with T1-N1 attacking you.
* The restored content reveals that Kreia used her powers to give Disciple LaserGuidedAmnesia about her presence, so he's completely unable to notice her. The game chooses to show this by having Kreia walk past the medbay, repeatedly, which looks either creepy or (more likely) hilariously petty and {{troll}}ish.

-->'''Atton''': Come on, lemme shoot him in the back! No one has to know!
--> '''Handmaiden''': Atton. ''Restrain yourself.'' Besides, [[NoExceptYes a nerve strike to his neck would restrain him for hours without killing him]].
--> '''Atton''': ''[Bemused]'' Good point.

--> '''Handmaiden''': Atton. ''Restrain yourself.'' Besides, [[NoButYes a nerve strike to his neck would restrain him for hours without killing him]].

-->'''Atton''': Come on, let me shoot him in the back. No one has to know!
--> '''Handmaiden''': Atton. Restrain yourself. Besides, a nerve strike to his neck would restrain him for hours without killing him.
--> '''Atton''': Good point.

* The T3-M4 part of Nar Shaadha, mainly because, due to the way his "dialogue" is written, we have no idea of what it might be saying. And, if you've got the Restored Content mod, you meet T1-N1 and b4-D4 again and T3 and T1 have a "discussion" that ends with T1-N1 attacking you.

--> '''Handmaiden''': Atton. Restrain yourself. Besides, a nerve strike to his neck would achieve the same effect without killing him.
--> '''Atton''': Good point.

'''Handmaiden''': Atton. Restrain yourself. Besides, a nerve strike to his neck would achieve the same effect without killing him.
'''Atton''': Good point.

-->'''Atton''': Let me shoot him in the back. No one has to know!\\
'''Handmaiden''': Don't be stupid. A blow to the base of the neck would incapacitate him without alerting everybody.\\

** Downloading the TSLRCM adds all the HK-47 and HK-50 conversation back to the game, allowing you to experience the factory in all of it's [[HamToHamCombat]] glory. Just one of the funniest events includes 47 walking up to the usual [[RuleOfThree trio]] of 50's, realizes that his programming prevents him from attacking "himself", realizes ''their'' programming prevents them from attack "themself", and proceeds to simply [[TakeAThirdOption walk past them]].

--> ''HK-50'': Inneffectual Command: We command you to ''stop''!

** Downloading the Restored Content mod allows you to experience the factory in all it's [[Ham]]-tastic glory, and two HK units make for the best conversations of all time. Just one of the funniest events includes 47 walking up to the usual [[RuleOfThree trio]] of 50's, realizing that his programming prevents him from attacking "himself", realizes ''their'' programming prevents them from attack "themself", and proceeds to walk directly past.

-->Exile: [Force Persuade] Give me all your credits and jump into that pit over there.\\
Exchange Mook #1: B-but...can't resist...here, take the credits...I have to go.\\
Exchange Mook #2: Jumping into the pit is a good idea. Get to ground faster that way.

* On Nar Shadaa, you meet the original owner of the Ebon Hawk from way back in the first KOTOR and he wants his ship back. After the argument (no matter how it ends):
-->'''Atton''': Let me shoot him, a single blaster shot and our problems are solved.
-->'''Handmaiden''': Don't be stupid. A blow on the base of the neck would incapacitate him without alerting everybody.
-->'''Atton''': Good point.

'''Brianna:''' ''(rolls eyes)''

'''Brianna:''' ''(bristles)''
* When talking to Brianna on the Ebon Hawk while you're both in your underwear.

--> '''Brianna:''' It does not seem to bother you.

** If you're male, you get a cutscene where Mira pulls Brianna aside and gives her the same advice on getting men; the Handmaiden's reply is the exact same as the Exile's.

-->'''B4-D4''':''Farewell, T1-N1. [[CouldSayItBut Please, do not abuse my trust]] and fire on the personnel while I'm occupied, thereby [[WeNeedADiversion creating a diversion]] that will allow me to escape with the stolen files.

-->I don't use them unless their their the ion grenades, or gel packs. Sonic screamers are good too, just don't use them on a Bith, cause it makes their head explode. While we're at it don't use them on a Sullastan either. It bursts their eardrums and makes them jibber twice as fast.