History Funny / JoueurDuGrenier

--> '''BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM'''

* About ''VideoGame/JurassicParkTrespasser'': "Why, in three billion women, the only one who happened to land on the island is a nutcase who keeps hearing voices and has fucking grape bread for hands???"

** While reviewing the NES game, he mentions how the UnfortunateImplications with two grown men running after a little boy to people who haven't seen the film. He adds a scary music to the burglars actually catching up with Kevin, transitioning into the game's Game Over screen with a BigNo.

** "JAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!"
** "So, you take the four pinkest and cutest anime ever, what would happen?" Answer: [[spoiler:Tentacles!]] "JAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!"

'''Deku Tree:''' Goddamn it!

* The dubbing of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qMbkKWf44&feature=player_detailpage#t=778 the dying scorpion]], in the ''Excalibur 2555 A.D.'' review.

* The dubbing of the dying scorpion, in the ''Excalibur 2555 A.D.'' review.
* His own abridged version of ''Anime/YuGiOh''

-->'''[=JdG=]:''' (''with a ''Film/TheDarkKnightSaga'' Batman voice'') I remember that day. That movie. This is where everything began. I had never seen such a piece of crap! (''[[LiteralMinded shot of the cinema screen showing an advertising for a movie titled "Such a Piece of Crap"]]'') But I digress, for the worst in that evening still was the movie. It was outraging. I couldn't believe my eyes... or something like that. And in their madness, a game was created with that movie! This was the day I decided to become a legend, a symbol for society, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers and to have a voice exaggeratingly deep]]! *cough* I became... ew.... (''various animals, including a spider, ducks and a wolf pass; eventually he seems to decides himself'') I am... DUCK-MAN! The retro video game reviewer!

** While reviewing the NES game, he mentions how the UnfortunateImplications with two grown men running after a little boy to people who haven't seen the film. He adds a scary music to the burglars actually catching up with Kevin, transitioning into the game's Game Over screen.
--->'''Fred:''' (''with an awkward, frozen smile'') No, I'm not gonna make that joke.\\

--->'''Fred:''' Run, kid! Run for your life! ''Run for your'' '''''ass'''''!

* From the JamesBondJunior video, he explains how awesome the MyLittlePony game on GBA is, like going around talking to ponies, dressing up your pony so [[BreadEggsMilkSquick you can pimp her out on the sidewalks of the Rainbow City]], keep a caterpillar in the air as long as you can... Then he snaps out of it.

* The ''Film/HomeAlone'' game review, starts with a scene where Seb runs to a con, and forgets to bring Fred (the titular Joueur du Grenier) along. Fred initially decides that he doesn't need any help or cameos to review games, and starts filming himself, while holding Seb's mike and headphones. He goes back on his word really quickly, and gets a talking sock named Jean-Louis to help him. Cut to Seb at the con, clutching his heart:
-->'''Seb:''' Urgh, I suddenly feel terribly insulted... Oh, never mind, it's just a heart attack! ''*smiles as he falls over and passes out*''

-->'''Fred:''' *with an awkward, frozen smile* No, I'm not gonna make that joke.
-->'''Jean-Louis:''' Can ''I'' make it then?
-->'''Fred:''' '''''No!'''''

-->'''Fred:''' Run, kid! Run for your life! ''Run for your'' '''''ass'''''!

* While reviewing the NES game, he mentions how the UnfortunateImplications with two grown men running after a little boy to people who haven't seen the film. He adds a scary music to the burglars actually catching up with Kevin, transitioning into the game's Game Over screen.

--->'''[=JdG=]''' (with a TheDarkKnightSaga Batman voice): I remember that day. That movie. This is where everything began. I had never seen such a piece of crap! ([[LiteralMinded shot of the cinema screen showing an advertising for a movie titled "Such a Piece of Crap"]]) But I digress, for the worst in that evening still was the movie. It was outraging. I couldn't believe my eyes... or something like that. And in their madness, a game was created with that movie! This was the day I decided to become a legend, a symbol for society, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers and to have a voice exaggeratingly deep]]! *cough* I became... ew.... (various animals, including a spider, ducks and a wolf pass. Eventually he seems to decides himself). I am... DUCK-MAN! The retro video game reviewer!

--->'''Old Wise Man's offscreen voice''': The crappy games are already here. The legend told of their return. They could destroy the world... but there is one they fear; his foul language already defeated many games. His name is Joueur du Grenier; Child of Swearing!
--->'''[=JdG=]''' (dressed like the Dragonborn, screaming like if he was Shouting): SON OF A BITCH!

* There's a ton in his boys' shows special, but to name a few :

--->'''Shenron:''' (''in an ominous voice)'' Who just cooked a kickass meal?

--->'''[=JdG=]:''' ''I am not your sister'' ! Your parents are dead, you got that ?! '''''Because of you''''' !
** At the end of the episode, he mentions that she does have a redeeming quality: she stood up against her coach and his abusive manners to protect the other girls in the team, which means she's not so bad after all. ...Cut to a clip of her ''threatening to drop her brother from high atop a building'', to persuade him to learn how to swim.

** Their solution when they encounter a monster with tons of tentacles? Throw a Japanese schoolgirl at it to distract it. It's too busy... [[{{Hentai}} hem, "attacking" her...]] to care about Chris and Gilles. There's obviously no visuals (except for Papy gesticulating and making slurping noises), but the kids listening to the story are understandably grossed out.

* Same go for the intro of the RPG review, which gives us a hilarious parody of the ''[[TheElderScrollsVSkyrim Skyrim]]'' trailer:

--->'''JdG''' (dressed like the Dragonborn, screaming like if he was Shouting): SON OF A BITCH!

--->'''[=JdG=]''' (with a TheDarkKnightSaga Batman voice): I remember that day. That movie. This is where everything began. I had never seen such a piece of crap! ([[LiteralMinded shot of the cinema screen showing a advertising for a movie titled "Such a Piece of Crap"]]) But I digress, for the worst in that evening still was the movie. It was outraging. I couldn't believe my eyes... or something like that. And in their madness, a game was created with that movie! This was the day I decided to become a legend, a symbol for society, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers and to have a voice exaggeratingly deep]]! *cough* I became... ew.... (various animals, including a spider, ducks and a wolf pass. Eventually he seems to decides himself). I am... DUCK-MAN! The retro video game reviewer!

--->'''Joueur du Grenier''' (with a TheDarkKnightSaga Batman voice): I remember that day. That movie. This is where everything began. I had never seen such a piece of crap! ([[LiteralMinded shot of the cinema screen showing a advertising for a movie titled "Such a Piece of Crap"]]) But I digress, for the worst in that evening still was the movie. It was outraging. I couldn't believe my eyes... or something like that. And in their madness, a game was created with that movie! This was the day I decided to become a legend, a symbol for society, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers and to have a voice exaggeratingly deep]]! *cough* I became... ew.... (various animals, including a spider, ducks and a wolf pass. Eventually he seems to decides himself). I am... DUCK-MAN! The retro video game reviewer!

--->'''[=JdG=]:''' The year is 2003. You have a GameCube. Which superhero game would you like to play? Franchise/{{Batman}}, the world's greatest detective, armed with his awesome gadgets against all his supervillains? Franchise/{{Superman}}, the invincible flying Man of Steel, as powerful as a god!? Franchise/GreenLantern, who can create anything through sheer willpower?!? '''Franchise/TheFlash, fastest man in the world, capable of vibrating his way through matter?! Franchise/WonderWoman, who is''' '''''hot?!''''' '''Or''' ComicBook/{{Aquaman}}. Who talks to fish. And is missing an arm.

** During the ''Film/BatmanTheMovie'' review, there's the reaction to the stupid and... strange way Batman and Robin were saved from an incoming torpedo at sea: a porpoise got in its way and was killed instead of the heroes, all of that offscreen. Everybody is horrified, including the scriptwriter, who shoots himself.
--->'''[=JdG=]:''' Back to the shore, Batman phones the admiral to know if he has sold a submarine recently. (''beat'') A ''porpoise''?!
** The bat-ladder scene at 12:49:

** After watching the Japanese TV adaptation of ''[[Series/SpiderManJapan Spider-Man]]'', [=JdG=] is so pissed and annoyed that instead of summing it up, he goes outside and slaps a young Japanese woman.
** On ''Captain Planet''[='=]s VerySpecialEpisode about drugs, after the blonde girl's cousin slips drugs in her taco:
--->'''[=JdG=]:''' No really, I don't get it, what reason could there possibly be for a guy to give drugs to his attractive, blonde cousin?\\
(''ten seconds of KubrickStare in absolute silence'')\\
'''[=JdG=]:''' ...[[AllMenArePerverts You]] ''[[KissingCousins sicken]]'' [[DudeShesLikeInAComa me]].
** ''[[http://www.medinoc.fr/web/ImagesDiverses/JDG_Drogue.gif DRUUUUUUUUUUGS!!!]]''

!!!Other:

* [[WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory Epic Rap Battles]] of the Internet: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phb0oN8vKsM Bob Lennon vs. JdG]].

* The Superman 64, Aquaman and Batman Forever Game review gives us the glorious return of Duck-Man, with Sebastian assuming the role of the Joker.
-->'''Sebastian''': You don't know ''pain''!
-->'''Joueur du Grenier/Duck-Man''': My parents are dead; a duck ate them.
-->'''Sebastian''': That's not pain.
-->'''Joueur du Grenier/Duck-Man''': It was a ''big'' duck.
** Duck-Man throwing a flurry of punches... at nothing in particular.
** [=JdG=] (getting progressively more excited):
--> "The year is 2003. You have a GameCube. Which superhero game would you like to play? {{Batman}}, the world's greatest detective, armed with his awesome gadgets against all his supervillains? {{Superman}}, the invincible flying Man of Steel, as powerful as a god!? GreenLantern, who can create anything through sheer willpower?!? '''TheFlash, fastest man in the world, capable of vibrating his way through matter?! WonderWoman, who is''' '''''hot?!''''' '''Or''' Aquaman. Who talks to fish. And is missing an arm.
** Batman and Robin synchronously swinging, set to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr_EIoS24ug&feature=player_detailpage#t=43 the swing song]] from ''2 Minutes du Peuple''.

!!!'''Other:

[[EpicRapBattlesOfHistory Epic Rap Battles]] of the Internet: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phb0oN8vKsM Bob Lennon vs JdG]]

** ''DRUUUUUUUUUUGS!!!''

** [[=JdG=]] (getting progressively more excited): "The year is 2003. You have a GameCube. Which superhero game would you like to play? {{Batman}}, the world's greatest detective, armed with his awesome gadgets against all his supervillains? {{Superman}}, the invincible flying Man of Steel, as powerful as a god!? GreenLantern, who can create anything through sheer willpower?!? '''TheFlash, fastest man in the world, capable of vibrating his way through matter?! WonderWoman, who is''' '''''hot?!'''''''' '''Or''' Aquaman. Who talks to fish. And is missing an arm.