History Funny / IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade

'''Henry Sr.:''' ''(checks pocket watch)'' [[YourOtherLeft What happens at eleven o'clock?]]\\
'''Indy:''' ''(gesturing frantically)'' Twelve, eleven, ten! Eleven o'clock, FIRE!

'''Young Indy''': Hey, it's just a snake.

** While tussling with the Irish goon, both of them stop fighting and stare in stunned horror when the angry rhinoceros' horn rips through the train car's roof and comes up [[GroinAttack inches away from both their groins]]:

'''''BOOM!'''''\\

* ItBelongsInAMuseum!" "So do ''you!"''

*** The best part is that it's ''[[Film/JamesBond James freakin' Bond]]'' (the O.G. James freakin' Bond, mind you) getting upset over some nazis getting killed.

* This film remarkably has a TearJerker, SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome, SugarWiki/{{Heartwarming|Moments}} ''AND'' Funny all at the same time ''without a word of dialogue.'' When Henry Sr., Marcus, and Sallah watch the tank which they think Indy's on top of go over a cliff, they all stand heartbroken on the edge of it...not noticing Indy, having obviously lept free with moments to spare, pulling himself up the cliff edge only a few feet away. After getting back on solid ground, Indy gets up and dazedly walks to them, staring confusedly along with everyone else as if to say "What are you guys looking at?".

-->'''Butler''': This ''is'' a castle...and we have ''many'' tapestries...but if you are a Scottish lord, then ''I AM WesternAnimation/MICKEYMOUSE!''\\

** I swear, there are more girls in this class than in the first movie. Makes you wonder how many female archaeologists were running around after World War II...

-->'''Butler''': This ''is'' a castle...and we have ''many'' tapestries...but if you are a Scottish lord, then ''I AM MICKEY MOUSE!''\\

* The scene where Indy sneaks into the Nazi book burning rally in disguise and runs into '''''Adolf Hitler himself'''''... who thinks Indy's just a starstruck fan, and autographs the notebook containing instructions on how to find the {{MacGuffin}}, and then gives it back to him. How ''humiliating'' it must be to get an autograph from the devil incarnate!

** Even more when you consider Connery was only twelve years older than Ford.

** Also, "Fly, yes! Land, no!" What makes this funny is that Harrison Ford is a rather successful pilot in real life. What makes it even funnier is [[HilariousInHindsight decades later]], he ended up crash-landing a WWII vintage plane (he was injured, but not seriously so).

** That's actually a moment of awesome for Denholm Elliott, who in reality was an experienced horse rider, with enough skill to do his own riding in that scene and make it look like Marcus was going to wipe out.

** "[[{{Understatement}} Our situation has not improved]]."
** Indy accidentally triggers a secret door in the fireplace, which rotates them into a room filled with Nazis - [[FailedASpotCheck who all have their backs turned and not a single one notices the Joneses.]]

*** The best part is that it's ''[[Film/JamesBond James freakin' Bond]]'' (the O.G. James freakin' Bond, mind you) getting upset over some bad guys getting killed.
*** It's his tone that sells it, not the horrified reaction one would expect from someone who just saw their child murder a bunch of guys, but a scolding tone as if he dropped a plate.

* This film remarkably has a TearJerker, SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome, SugarWiki/{{Heartwarming|Moments}} ''AND'' Funny all at the same time ''without a word of dialogue.'' When Henry Sr., Marcus, and Sallah watch the tank which they think Indy's inside go over a cliff, they all stand heartbroken on the edge of it...not noticing Indy, having obviously lept free with moments to spare, pulling himself up the cliff edge only a few feet away. After getting back on solid ground, Indy gets up and dazedly walks to them, staring confusedly along with everyone else as if to say "What are you guys looking at?".

*** What's even better is that Indy can't fake a Scottish accent convincingly, despite having been raised by Creator/SeanConnery!

*** Henry Sr. sees Indy gaping at him, and gives this little smug smile, as if to say "Yeah, I banged the hot Austrian scientist chick. Your old man's still got it!"

*** Even better if you imagine they picked up this trick from when Indy stole the ark from them, doing it in reverse.

** When they wind up on the opposite side of the secret door in the fireplace, they're in a communications room of some sort, at which point a woman looks up and notices them. They both give her [[OhCrapSmile awkward grins]]. She grins back... [[MoodWhiplash and yells, "ALARM!"]]

** Indy starts firing up a motorboat (complete with a quip about "Great, more boats," then sees something better. Henry Sr. doesn't get it, tosses his bag at Indy, who tosses it back. By the time the Germans catch up, the boat is far enough away they can't see that Indy and Henry Sr. aren't in it, so start piling into another boat to pursue. Unfortunately, they're barely in before Indy and Henry Sr. come barreling out in a motorcycle with sidecar. If Indy had waited another two minutes, he would have made a clean getaway.

*** Of course he's impressed. He's [[Film/FirstKnight King Arthur.]]

** As one [=YouTube=] comment puts it (describing the surreality):
-->Rare footage of a ruthless killer meeting [[BaitAndSwitchComparison a vegetarian and animal lover, late 1930s]].

* When they're on the zeppelin, talking about their... ''mutual'' love interest above:

'''Indy:''' That's not ''all'' we shared. It's disgraceful. You're old enough to be her fa--her ''grandfather''!\\

** The little smirk he makes after he says it is hilarious. And Henry Sr.'s "Well, this just got awkward" expression.
** Even more when you consider Connery was only twelve years older than Ford, which Ford later justified with "Well, if anyone could have a kid at that age..."

** Just after that, when one of the enemy fighters gets on the biplane's tail, [[GuyInBack Henry Sr. takes up the gun and shoots at him]]... and [[EpicFail tears up their own plane's tail section]]. He has an appropriate "ThisIsGonnaSuck" expression as Indy realizes that something is wrong.

* "This is intolerable!" So sayeth Henry Jones, Sr., as they're being strafed by a Nazi fighter while trying to outrun it in a freshly-stolen car.
* One of the German pilots actually trying to fly into the tunnel to chase after Indy and Henry Sr., tearing off the plane's wings and setting it on fire, and ending up passing their car. The look on the pilot's face just says, [[DidntThinkThisThrough "I did not think]] [[ThisIsGonnaSuck this through."]]

* Henry Sr. flapping his umbrella and squawking like a seagull to scare a gigantic flock of seagulls into the air.
** They then cause the approaching Nazi plane to crash.

--->'''Henry Sr.:''' I suddenly remembered my Charlamagne. "Let my armies be the rocks, and the trees, and the birds in the sky." (chuckles)

* When the Nazis offer the Sultan a chest of jewels and gold, he is not impressed - he '''is''' impressed by the Rolls Royce, however. Donovan quickly adjusts his plan, smiles, and tells the Sultan, "The keys are in the ignition, Your Highness."

'''Sallah:''' [[SkewedPriorities That car belonged to my brother-in-law--]]\\

** And in what must be ''the'' {{understatement}} [[MemeticMutation of all understatements]]: "He chose... ''poorly''." And in the most [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan way]], as if people painfully disintegrating into dust is just something that happens in these parts.

** As one YouTube comment puts it (describing the surreality):

-->'''Knight:''' The last of the three brothers, who sworn an oath to find the Grail and to guard it.\\

** As one Youtube comment puts it (describing the surreality):

* Indy after punching and throwing a Nazi out of an airship while disguised as an attendant: "No ticket!"

'''Henry Sr.:''' ''(Shrugging)'' I'm just as human as the next man.\\

** Just after that, when one of the enemy fighters gets on the biplane's tail, [[GuyInBack Henry Sr. takes up the gun and shoots at him]]... and [[EpicFail tears up his own plane's tail section]]. He ahs an appropriate "ThisIsGonnaSuck" expression as Indy realizes that something is wrong.

** Just after that, when one of the enemy fighters gets on the biplane's tail, [[GuyInBack Henry Sr. takes up the gun and shoots at him]]... and [[EpicFail tears up his own plane's tail section]].

** "Dad!" "What?" "DAD!" "WHAT??" "DAD!!" "WHAAAT?!?" "Head for the fireplace!" "Oh."

** "She talks in her sleep."
** Henry Sr. sees Indy gaping at him, and gives this little smug smile, as if to say "Yeah, I banged the hot Austrian scientist chick. Your old man's still got it!"

'''Sallah:''' That car belonged to my brother-in-law--\\

* One of the German pilots actually trying to fly into the tunnel to chase after Indy and Henry Sr., tearing off the plane's wings and setting it on fire, and ending up passing their car. The look on the pilot's face just says, [[ThisIsGonnaSuck "I did not think this through."]]

-->'''Henry Sr.:''' (chuckling) Well, they don't come any closer than that!\\

** When Indy first enters the Grail chamber, the Knight is knelt over a Bible, praying. When he realizes Indy has arrived, he takes up his sword, and attacks.... once. 700 years of aging have sapped his strength, and the weight of his sword makes the Knight just kind of fall over backwards.

'''Young Indy''': Hey, [[{{Irony}} it's just a]] ''[[{{Irony}} snake]]''.