History Funny / ICarly

--->'''Carly:''' And don't leave your panties in the stairs!\\

** The paintball subplot. Special mention goes to Spencer hiding in Sam's locker as a way to ambush Sam. When she does open the door, he shouts '''''[[HeresJohnnyHomage HEEEERRRRREEE'S SPENCY!!!]]''''', [[TheDoorSlamsYou before getting slammed in the face]].
--> '''Spencer:''' I gotta quit saying witty things ''before'' I blow.

** The paintball subplot. Special mention goes to Spencer hiding in Sam's locker while shouting '''''[[HeresJohnnyHomage HEEEERRRRREEE'S SPENCY!!!]]''''', [[TheDOorSlamsYou before getting slammed in the face]].
--> '''Spencer:''' I gotta stop saying witty things ''before'' I blow.

** Also this moment when Sam [[PrivacyByDistraction fakes a family emergency for Freddie so he won't see her crying in Carly's arms]]. Freddie walks, in telling her his mother said he didn't have a relative Sam told him about. Sam turns around and screams ferociously at Freddie, who screams in terror and retreats back to his apartment while Sam resumes crying on Carly's shoulder.

-->'''Sam:''' ''(while dancing with a group of other students to Miss Brigs playing the bagpipes)'' [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall Who choreographed this?!]]

--> ([[SpitTake Sam spits out some watermelon toward Freddie upon hearing this]])

-->'''Carly''': (''leaning on the couch: muffled'') That's so embarrassing!

''(Sam turns back to him and gives him a DeathGlare, prompting Freddie to sprint out of the room)''\\

--->'''Sam:''' Girl number one... (Gets in his face) ''GIRL NUMBER TWO...'' and girl number three.\\

'''Carly:''' (after both looking irritated that he still hasn't caught on) If you really want '''TO''' go on a date with Shannon, then you need '''TO''' choose carefully.\\
'''Sam:''' That's all you have (together) '''TO!''' do.\\
'''Gibby:''' (mockingly) Oh...kaaaay!

''(Sam walks out)''\\

** Also this moment when Sam is crying in Carly's arms, Freddie walks in telling her his mother said he didn't have a relative Sam told him earlier so he could leave. Sam turns around and screams ferociously at Freddie, who screams in terror and retreats back to his apartment while Sam resumes crying on Carly's shoulder.

--->'''Sam:''' Stop watching the Video Game Channel, you big bunch of losers; you're wasting your lives! Get a job, kiss a girl, do something! (turns to reporter) ...No offense.

--->'''Carly:''' (''hoses Spencer'') What about the labradoodle sculpture for that important doctor guy!?\\

'''Carly:''' Today ''is'' Sunday! ''(hoses him again)''\\

'''Carly:''' ''([[RuleOfThree hoses him again]])'' Admit it!\\
'''Spencer:''' No! I am not addicted to Pak-Rat! ''(hoses him again)'' Would you stop squr- ''(hoses him again)'' I'm addicted to Pak-Rat!\\
'''Carly:''' I know! ''(hoses him again)''

'''Carly''': *sleepy* Hmmmmmm?\\

'''Carly''': Carry me... *he does* It's such a fun game...\\

'''Mitch''': Because, if it weren't for you, I would have never gotten [[ExactWords my wings]]. *computer screen shifts down to show a plate of chicken wings*\\

* Carly proceeds to take his smoothie off his hands*\\
'''Spencer''': [[HypocriticalHumor YOU GIVE ME THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!]]\\
* [[ManChild Proceeds to chase Carly around and yelling at her to give him back his smoothie]]*

(''Melanie kisses Freddie'')\\
'''Freddie:''' (''distressed'') You swore we'd never do that again.\\
'''Melanie:''' ''I'' didn't swear anything. *leans in again*\\
''(Freddie [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere flees]])''

''(Gibby turns a spotlight on Carly)''\\

''(Gibby turns a spotlight on Sam)''\\

'''Nevel:''' [[OhCrap Oh, dear]]. Oh...okay...what are you gonna do? Ladies, my pants are very expensive. ''(ScreamsLikeALittleGirl as he gets beat up)''

'''Spencer:''' (deadpan) ...She's not gettin' it ''now''.

--->'''Sam:''' ''(flatly)'' Oh my gosh, the bear ate Freddie. ''[[ItMakesSenseInContext (he's actually in a bear costume)]]'' Bad bear! ''(hits Freddie with an umbrella, knocking him to the floor)''\\
'''Freddie:''' ''(gets to his feet with Carly's help) Never'' do that again!\\
'''Sam:''' You're not the boss of me. ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice (hits Freddie AGAIN with the umbrella, knocking him right back down)]]''

''' Sam:''' When did you turn into my wife?.

''(Carly frantically closes the window)''

** Also:
--->'''Sam''': ''(In a voice laced with murder)'' You spoke of it!\\
* beat*\\
* Freddie [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl screams]], throws his cable, and runs out the door*

*** These lines:
----> '''Carly''' (after seeing an empty plate that was supposed to be full of meatballs): Where are the meatballs?\\
'''Sam''': Right about here (pats stomach) being dissolved by my stomach acid.

'''Carly:''' *interrupts* I'm not having this conversation.\\

** Sam tries to get the bacon:
--->'''Freddie:''' Girls who are rude to me don't get a bag of bacon *holds up bacon*\\
'''Sam:''' *really fast* Whoa, Freddie, I never realized what a hot handsome hunk of boy you really are. *immediately grabs the bag of bacon*\\

''[[{{Beat}} (beat)]]''\\

* From ''iQuit iCarly'', we have this RunningGag exchange while Carly is hanging off the edge of a building:

* "iSaved Your Life": Everything Mrs. Benson says, included but not limited to:
-->'''Mrs. Benson:''' (About the flowers Carly brought over for Freddie) I soaked them in bleach and pounded them with a mallet.
-->'''Mrs. Benson:''' * leans over right next to Carly's ear* It should have been you!
* Mrs. Benson's terrified freak-out in shock when she returns home from work and discovers Carly ''kissing'' Freddie on the bed, having a makeout session for half an hour while she was gone, in addition to ''them'' (Carly and Freddie) screaming as well. Hilarity ensues and it's priceless.

--->'''Sam:''' *after wearing the dress* I feel hot!\\

* "iEnrage Gibby": Freddie trying to talk to Gibby.
-->''(Gibby smacks Freddie's coffee out of his hands)''\\

'''Gibby:'''(completely unashamed)Yeah. I said it.

* "iSam's Mom": Carly '''completely freaks out''' when being trapped in a very tiny room with Sam and her mom at the family therapist's office. Sam and her mom manage to have a touching reconciliation while ''Carly is crawling over the place, bleating like a goat!''

'''Spencer:''' [''beat''] Now I'm embarrassed.

--->'''Carly''': (''resigned'') I'll check his pulse.

(The crowd gasps in shock.)\\

** Also the scene where Gibby, Guppy, and their completely insane grandfather ordering food from the drive-thru, only their grandfather wants soup, yet the restaurant he is patronizing does not serve soup. Gibby’s frustrations on dealing with the situation add to the humor and Guppy repeatedly shouting ‘French Fries!’ gets a special mention since the drive-thru operator keeps hearing that. Even more funny is that when Guppy shouts it for the final time, Gibby orders him to shut up. Also, when he asks his grandfather why they cannot eat at WebiCon, his InsaneTrollLogic answer makes you want to bust a gut.
* The cameo involving Stacy from [[Series/Zoey101 Zoey 101]] in ''iHire An Idiot''. While being interviewed for an internship, Carly nervously screams, "Get out of here!" almost in a disturbed way.

'''Secret Service Agent''': No! (''runs offscreen'')

* "iCan"tTakeIt": Mrs. Benson's meltdown after unsuccessfully trying to bribe Freddie into breaking up with Sam.
* Carly and Spencer being told to go to bed by Spencer's girlfriend in "iLoveYou". Made even funnier because they ''both'' comply with almost no hesitation. Carly even innocently says "Goodnight" before leaving.
* In "iRescueiCarly", Carly tries taking the elevator in her home, only to open the door and see [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment two little girls riding it for some unexplained reason.]]
* The entire subplot in "iToeFatCakes" where Carly is trapped in her bathtub for hours after getting her big toe stuck in the faucet.

** During the ''Leave It All To Me[=/=]Make It Shine'' mash-up, Kenan just bursts into the room and "sings" the "I'm telling you just I feel" line from ''Leave It All To Me'' and swiftly exits the way he came. What really makes it, however, is the dumbfounded looks on the [=iCarly=] crew's faces afterwards.

** During the ''Leave It All To Me[=/=]Make It Shine'' mash-up, Kenan just bursts into the room and "sings" the "'Cause I'm telling you just I feel" line from ''Leave It All To Me'' and swiftly exits the way he came. What really makes it, however, is the dumbfounded looks on the [=iCarly=] crew's faces afterwards.

** When Nevel makes the [[ManipulativeEditing "Push her grandmother down" video]]. Particularly because his method is very similar to that of sentence-mixing in [[WebAnimation/YouTubePoop YouTube Poops]].

** Also this moment when Sam is crying in Carly's arms, Freddie walks in yelling at her for the lie she told him earlier so he could leave. Sam turns around and lets out a ferocious roar at Freddie, who screams in terror and retreats back to his apartment while Sam resumes crying on Carly's shoulder.

--> (SpitTake Sam spits out some watermelon toward Freddie)

* "iWill Date Freddie": This out-of-context advice Freddie gets from his mom:
--> '''Mrs. Benson:''' You won't get respect if your back's not erect!

** While the trip are watching videos, Sam is resting her head on Freddie’s shoulder. When they notice how close they are, Freddie fakes a stretch and they move away from each other.

* "iDream of Dance": Sam, during her dream:

--> [[NoodleImplements Okay, first, we're gonna need three zebras]].

--->'''Spencer:''' Look, I'm sorry you're upset, but I'm in charge here. You're the kid, and I'm the adult.
---> *Carly proceeds to take his smoothie off his hands*
--->'''Spencer''': [[HypocriticalHumor YOU GIVE ME THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!]]
---> *[[ManChild Proceeds to chase Carly around and yelling at her to give him back his smoothie]]*

--> '''Nevel:''' Ok, Freddie, I'm not scared of you.
--> '''Freddie:''' That's cool. Gibby! Lights!
--> ''(Gibby turns a spotlight on Carly)''
--> '''Carly:''' Hello, Nevel.
--> '''Nevel:''' I'm not scared of you, either.
--> ''(Gibby turns a spotlight on Sam)''
--> '''Sam:''' S'up, Nevel.
--> '''Nevel:''' Ok, ''you'' I'm scared of.

---> '''Shelby:''' Hi, Nevel.
---> '''Nevel:''' [[OhCrap Oh, dear]]. Oh...okay...what are you gonna do? Ladies, my pants are very expensive. ''(ScreamsLikeALittleGirl as he gets beat up)''

--> '''Carly:''' Aww! His mother needs surgery...\\

---> '''Spencer:''' Someone broke your yo-yo.
---> '''Carly:''' I think you need to go downstairs.

-->'''Freddie''': I didn't know it was going to turn into this whole [[PerfectlyCromulentWord brouhaha]]!
-->'''Sam''': Brouhaha?
-->'''Carly''': You can't say things like "brouhaha" and not expect to get hit!

-->'''Sam:''' ''(flatly)'' Oh my gosh, the bear ate Freddie. ''[[ItMakesSenseInContext (he's actually in a bear costume)]]'' Bad bear! ''(hits Freddie with an umbrella, knocking him to the floor)''\\

-->'''Hobo:''' I heard that Charles Dingo's head is somewhere deep in the bowels of the original studio.\\

--> '''Spencer''': [[AsYouKnow Let's just recap:]] You steal my motorcycle. I ''don't'' have you arrested. I invite you into my home. I teach you about the joys of sculpting. I'm forced to wait ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis an hour]]''. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis For BAGELS I DIDN'T]] ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis EVEN WANT!]]'' And then I come home to find you ''[[UnusualEuphemism chewing]]'' [[UnusualEuphemism on [Carly's] face!]]

--> '''Griffin''': We were kissing.
--> '''Spencer''': '''''GUILTY!'''''

--> '''Spencer''': ''(calmly)'' You are [[PunctuatedForEmphasis grounded...for...'til college.]]
--> '''Carly''': ''For 'til college?!''
--> '''Spencer''': '''[[SuddenlyShouting FOR 'TIL COLLEGE!!!]]'''

---> '''Carly''': Whoa! When did you get so strong?
---> '''Freddie''': Same time the voice got lower!

--->'''Sam''': ''(In a voice laced with murder)'' You spoke of it!
--->*beat*
--->*Freddie [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl screams]], throws his cable, and runs out the door*

--> '''Spencer:''' Stabbing . . . isn't really an emotion; it's more of an activity. That I hope you don't do to me.
--> '''Convict:''' Well. Maybe. I. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis FEEL!]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis STABBY!]]

---> '''Carly''' (after seeing an empty plate that was supposed to be full of meatballs): Where are the meatballs?\\

* "iSpeedDate":

-->'''Spencer:''' Come here, we need to talk.\\

-->'''Sam:''' *after wearing the dress* I feel hot!
-->'''Carly:''' I feel violated!

-->'''Veronica:''' I just wish I could hold him one more time...
-->'''Spencer:''' ''You can hold me!''
-->'''Veronica:''' ''(Screams)''

--->'''Carly:''' I see some trees, some bushes... and oh, two squirrels wrestling.\\

-->'''Mrs. Benson:''' When the temperature gets too high, the elderly will start to die!\\

-->'''Carly:''' I blame myself.

-->'''Fireman''': [[AcquaintedWithEmergencyServices Yeah. We know who]] '''''[[AcquaintedWithEmergencyServices you]]''''' [[AcquaintedWithEmergencyServices are.]]

-->'''Freddie:''' You got your room back.
-->'''[[MomentKiller Gibby]]:''' Except for all your old photos and other personal items that can never be replaced.
-->'''Everyone:''' GIBBY!!!

-->'''Carly:''' And don't leave your panties in the stairs!
-->'''Sam:''' I told you I don't like that word!
-->'''Spencer:''' Too bad! [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Stairs! Stairs! Stairs!]]
-->'''Carly:''' ...she meant "panties".
-->'''Spencer:''' [''beat''] Now I'm embarrassed.

-->'''Carly''': (''resigned'') I'll check his pulse.

--> '''Aspartamay''': You have the breath of a dastardly goat with infected gums.
--> '''Spencer''': Your words have no bite. For they are spoken by a gutless thief. Sprung from a lineage of cowards and hog farmers!
--> (The crowd gasps in shock.)
--> '''Aspartamay''': ...Okay, seriously dude, you take that back right now.
--> '''Spencer''': No returns, man. I put it out there and it's staying out there!

--> '''Aspartamay''': Say your costume's lame.
--> '''Spencer''': Okay ... [[ExactWords YOUR COSTUME IS LAME!]]

--> '''Sam''': Well at least you learned something.
--> '''Carly''': No we didn't.
--> '''Sam''': Oh that's right, you learned nothing.
--> '''Carly''': We wasted your time!

--> '''Sikowitz''': What's your name?
--> '''Spencer''': S-ssspuh...
--> '''Sikowitz''': Nice to meet you, Spoo!

--> '''Sikowitz''': You can also see the children, right?

--> '''Freddie''': See if you can find out if oranges can crack a spine (to Sam) [[SuddenlyShouting BECAUSE I THINK THEY CAN!]]

--> '''Michelle''': Yes, now I can finally finish building that robot!
--> '''Secret Service Agent''': *''whispers something in her ear''*
--> '''Michelle''': Oh, I wasn't supposed to mention the robot?
--> '''Secret Service Agent''': No! (''runs offscreen'')

--> '''Freddie''': And I'm Freddie! ...Yeah, I interrupted the introduction. What're they gonna do, fire me?

--->'''Freddie''': Let's play an improv game. You start by saying one word, and we just keep going until it turns into a story. Sound fun?
--->'''Carly''': Not really.
--->'''Sam''': No.
--->'''Spencer''': I'm tired.
--->'''Freddie''': Come on. Okay, I'll start. Yesterday...
--->'''Carly''': People...
--->'''Spencer''': Gathered...
--->'''Sam''': In...
--->'''Freddie''': The...
--->'''Carly''': Ocean...
--->'''Spencer''': Which...
--->'''Sam''': Made...
--->'''Freddie''': Them...
--->'''Carly''': Wet. (deadpan) Fun game.
--->'''Freddie''': (sighs in defeat) I'll play the next song.

--> '''Sam:''' Hey, check out what I bought today.
--> '''Carly:''' You went to Build-a-Bra without me?
--> '''Freddie:''' Can we talk about ANYTHING else?
--> '''Carly:''' Ooh! You got the glow-in-the-dark straps!
--> '''Sam:''' I know. Does Build-a-Bra ''rock'' or what?
--> '''Carly:''' So rocks.
--> '''Freddie:''' Oh-''kay'', next song!

* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwyJecy3IpE&feature=related this]] video, Victoria Justice is driving around with the iCarly gang. Freddie mentions she's in Victorious, and then tells her that she [[ActorAllusion looks a lot like Shelby Marx.]] She responds, [[{{Handwaved}} "Yeah, I get that a lot."]]

* (''Melanie kisses Freddie'')*\\

* Freddie flees*

'''Carly:''' Today is Sunday! *hoses him again*\\

'''Carly:''' *hoses him again* Admit it!\\
'''Spencer:''' No! I am not addicted to Pak-Rat! *gets hosed again* Would you stop squr- *gets hosed again* I'm addicted to Pak-Rat!*\\
'''Carly:''' I know! *hoses him again*

--> '''Spencer''': [[AsYouKnow Let's just recap:]] You steal my motorcycle. I ''don't'' have you arrested. I invite you into my home. I teach you about the joys of sculpting. I'm forced to wait ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis an hour]]''. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis For BAGELS I DIDN'T]] ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis EVEN WANT!]]'' And then I come home to find you ''chewing'' on [Carly's] face!

** The gang tries to hint-drop that the girl Gibby wants is number 2 by emphasizing it anytime they say "two" or a homophone of it. And he doesn't catch on at all.
--->'''Sam''': Girl number one... (Gets in his face) ''GIRL NUMBER TWO...'' and girl number three.\\
'''Gibby''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint But how will I know which one is Shannon?]]\\
'''Carly''': (after both looking irritated that he still hasn't caught on) If you really want '''TO''' go on a date with Shannon, then you need '''TO''' choose carefully.\\
'''Sam''': That's all you have (together) '''TO!''' do.\\
'''Gibby''': (mockingly) Oh...kaaaay!
** When the date with shannon

--> '''Mr. Howard:''' WHO WROTE THIS?! WHO WROTE THIS LIE?! Never in my entire life have I eaten one pair of pants!

** When Sam tells her the video of them making fun of Mrs. Briggs has only 27 views. [[FailedASpotCheck Carly then notifies her of the little "k" next to it]]...
--> '''Carly:''' Sam...
--> '''Sam:''' Yeah?
--> '''Carly:''' '''''[[SuddenlyShouting THAT'S TWENTY-SEVEN THOUSAND!]]''''' ''[Sam falls off the chair]''

-->'''Seattle Beat Hostess:''' That sign is messed up!

-->'''Spencer:''' Oh, hello Ms. Briggs. Or, now that I'm older, may I call you "Margaret"?\\

** The resulting SignOfDisrepair after Spencer tried to shut it off due to the ensuing traffic pileup.

* "iSpy a Mean Teacher": [[IncrediblyObviousBug Freddie's giant plastic piece of pie.]]
--> '''Sam:''' ''(holds up a large plastic fork)'' Hey look, it even comes with a giant fork!

--> '''Carly:''' We're in a very serious situation here, Freddie. This is no time to bust a move!

--> '''Freddie:''' I guarantee you, in twenty years, I will be Carly's second husband.
--> '''Carly:''' What happened to my first husband?
--> '''Freddie:''' Nothing you can prove.
* "iWill Date Freddie":

-->'''Sam''': Guess what else I got?
-->'''Freddie''': Pimples on your butt?
-->''(Sam turns back to him and gives him a DeathGlare, prompting Freddie to sprint out of the room)''
-->'''Sam''': He was smart to run.
* "iHatch Chicks": Sam and Cary hear one of the missing chicks in the drain, and they flip a light-switch. [[BlackComedy Buuut it turns out to be the garbage-disposal instead.]] The good news was the chick was in a pipe, not the garbage disposal, but Carly's scream made it hilarious.
** Also this exchange...
--> '''Carly''': What's the temperature in here?
--> '''Spencer''': Seventy-two!
--> '''Carly''': Turn the heat up to ninety!
--> '''Spencer''': Ninety degrees?
--> '''Sam''': No, ninety pickles! Yes ninety degrees!

--> '''Gibby:''' I'm all Gibby. And you know what that means?
--> '''Carly:''' Tell her what it means, Gibby!!!
--> '''Gibby:''' It means I like to dance! [[ShirtlessScene WITH MY SHIRT OFF!!]]
** Also, the scene earlier on where they keep hint-dropping that the girl Gibby wants is number 2 by emphasizing it anytime they say "two" or a homophone of it. And he doesn't catch on at all.
--> '''Sam''': Girl number one... (Gets in his face) ''GIRL NUMBER TWO...'' and girl number three.
--> '''Gibby''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint But how will I know which one is Shannon?]]
--> '''Carly''': (after both looking irritated that he still hasn't caught on) If you really want '''TO''' go on a date with Shannon, then you need '''TO''' choose carefully.
--> '''Sam''': That's all you have (together) '''TO!''' do.
--> '''Gibby''': (mockingly) Oh...kaaaay!

-->''(Carly frantically closes the window)''

''' Sam:''' When did you turn into my wife?.\\

-->'''Hobo:''' [[ThreatBackfire Bowels! I got the bathtub!]]

--> '''Carly:''' '''''[[SuddenlyShouting THAT'S TWENTY-SEVEN THOUSAND!]]''''' ''[Sam falls off chair]''

'''Spencer:''' Don't look at the sign! Pay no heed to the sign- ''[crunch]'' [[BrickJoke I stepped on my taco!]]

--> '''Carly:''' Tell her what it means Gibby!!!

* In "iGot Detention", as part of the 50th webcast video, a student answers correctly, "Mr. Howard Eats Pants", when Mr. Howard returns. He then notices the sentence. His reaction sells it.

'''Carly:''' ''(gasps)'' That's it! I'm out of here!\\

'''Carly:''' ''(defensively)'' There's nothing wrong with a little help.

--->'''Carly:''' *hoses Spencer* What about the labradoodle sculpture for that important doctor guy!?\\

* (Melanie kisses Freddie)*\\
'''Freddie:''' (distressed) You swore we'd never do that again.\\

---> '''Nevel:''' [[OhCrap Oh, dear]]. Oh...okay...what are you gonna do? Ladies, my pants are very expensive. ''(ScreamsLikeALittleGirl)''

---> '''Spencer:''' I think someone broke your yo-yo.

'''Spencer:''' See? It's in the bowels!\\

--->'''Sam''': ''In a voice laced with murder'' You spoke of it!

* From ''iQuit iCarly'', we have this exchange while Carly is hanging off the edge of a building:
-->'''Freddie:''' CARLY! DON'T LET GO!\\

** An angry Carly saying the Ginger Fox dances "like a diseased elephant".

'''Freddie:''' The squirrels are not wrestling.\\

-->'''Carly:''' I blame myself.

-->Accountant: ''(deadpan)'' Look down.

--> '''Sikowitz''': You can also see that child, right?

* Carly and Spencer being told to bed by Spencer's girlfriend in "iLoveYou". Made even funnier because they ''both'' comply with almost no hesitation. Carly even innocently says "Goodnight" before leaving.

--> '''Freddie''': And I'm Freddie! ...Yeah, I interrupted the the introduction. What're they gonna do, fire me?

* Michelle Obama winning a bag of nuts and bolts.
---> '''Michelle''': Yes, now I can finally finish building that robot!
---> '''Secret Service Agent''': *''whispers something in her ear''*
---> '''Michelle''': Oh, I wasn't supposed to mention the robot?

''' Freddie:''' Our locker!
''' Sam:''' When did you turn into my wife?.