History Funny / FiddlerOnTheRoof

* Recently, Adam Kantor, the actor who plays Motel in the latest revival, posted a series of vlogs from backstage called [[IncrediblyLamePun "Motel Citizen."]] Most of them are comic gold, but one notably funny one is [[http://www.broadway.com/videos/156731/motel-citizen-backstage-at-fiddler-on-the-roof-with-adam-kantor-ep-6-the-odd-couple/#play "The Odd Couple,"]] which starts out with him (as Motel) and Lazar Wolf [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin playing out an ''Odd Couple''-esque scene]] with the two characters. Lazar keeps giving [[FreudianSlip Freudian Slips]] regarding Tzeitel.

-->'''Tevye:'''' ''({{beat}})'' And I'm going to dance ''with my wife!''

!!Meta
* Recently, Adam Kantor, the actor who plays Motel in the latest revival, posted a series of vlogs from backstage called [[IncrediblyLamePun "Motel Citizen."]] Most of them are comic gold, but one notably funny one is [[http://www.broadway.com/videos/156731/motel-citizen-backstage-at-fiddler-on-the-roof-with-adam-kantor-ep-6-the-odd-couple/#play "The Odd Couple,"]] which starts out with him (as Motel) and Lazar Wolf [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin playing out an ''Odd Couple''-esque scene]] with the two characters. Lazar keeps giving [[FreudianSlip Freudian Slips]] regarding Tzeitel.

-->'''Tevye:''' *looking up to the heavens* MAY GOD SMITE ME WITH IT! And may I ''never'' recover!

* Recently, Adam Kantor, the actor who plays Motel in the latest revival, posted a series of vlogs from backstage called [[IncrediblyLamePun "Motel Citizen."]] Most of them are comic gold, but one notably funny one is [[http://www.broadway.com/videos/156731/motel-citizen-backstage-at-fiddler-on-the-roof-with-adam-kantor-ep-6-the-odd-couple/#play "The Odd Couple,"]] which starts out with him (as Motel) and Lazar Wolf [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin playing out an ''Odd Couple''-esque scene]] with the two characters. Lazar keeps giving [[FreudianSlip Freudian Slips]] regarding Tzeitel.

* The build-up to what seems to be everyone cooing over Tzeitel and Motel's new baby, which turns out to really be about his sewing machine.

** "If I were a rich man [...] [[AlienGeometries I'd have one staircase just going up, and another even longer coming down! And one leading nowhere just for show!"]]

---->'''Tevye:''' Do you love me?
---->'''Golde:''' I am your ''wife!''
---->'''Tevye:''' Yes, I know! But do you love me?

-->'''Tevye:''' As Jacob said, "I am slow of speech and slow of tongue."'
-->'''Mendel:''' That was ''also'' Moses!
-->'''Tevye:''' For a man slow of tongue he talked a lot!

-->'''Tevye:''' AsTheGoodBookSays, "if a poor man eats a chicken, one of them is sick."
-->'''Mendel:''' Where does the Book say that?
-->'''Tevye:''' Well, it doesn't say exactly that, but ''somewhere'' it has ''something'' about a chicken!

-->'''Tevye:''' Do you love me?
-->'''Golde:''' I am your ''wife!''
-->'''Tevye:''' Yes, I know! But do you love me?

** -->'''Tevye:''' You may ask, where do all of these traditions come from? I'll tell you... I don't know.
** -->'''Tevye:''' If I were a rich man [...] [[AlienGeometries I'd have one staircase just going up, and another even longer coming down! And one leading nowhere just for show!"]]
**

**

** -->'''Tevye:''' On the other hand...

-->'''Tevye''': I AM THE HEAD OF THIS FAMILY! AND I WANT TO SEE MOTEL'S MACHINE! ''(Pokes his head inside for literally one second then slams the door)'' Now let's go home!

-->'''Lazar''': I am going to Chicago, America.
-->'''Tevye''': We are going to New York, America. We'll be neighbors!

**

-->'''Golde:''' You're a fool!
-->'''Tevye:''' I know.
**
-->'''Tevye:''' Do you love me?

* Perchik proposing to Hodel: "I personally am in favor of such a socioeconomic relationship."

*

-->'''Yente:''' Ah, children, children, they are your blessing in your old age. But my Aaron, may he rest in peace, couldn't give me children. To tell you the truth, Golde, [[TheLoinsSleepTonight he hardly tried]].

-->'''Yente:''': I'm losing my head. Someday it'll fall off altogether, and a horse will kick it in the mud and goodbye, Yente.

-->'''Tevye''': I AM THE HEAD OF THIS FAMILY! AND I WANT TO SEE MOTEL'S MACHINE! ''(Peeks his head inside for literally one second then slams the door)'' Now let's go home!

* After Tevye has given Hodel and Perchik permission to get married, he suddenly gets worried about what he is going to tell Golde. Perchik suggests that he tell her about the rich uncle Perchik will be staying with in Kiev. Tevye shouts that he doesn't need to be told how to handle his wife. However, as soon as Golde starts reacting badly to the news, Tevye immediately tells her about the rich uncle in Kiev.
* This exchange after Tevye plays devil's advocate for Perchik and Morcha:

* In the film, Tevye provokes a argument regarding the sale of a six-year-old or twelve-year-old horse, right after cheerfully saying that this issue had been resolved a while ago. The whole village then starts to join into the argument.

-->'''Tevye:''' You may ask, where do all of these traditions come from? I'll tell you... I don't know.
**
-->'''Tevye:''' If I were a rich man [...] [[AlienGeometries I'd have one staircase just going up, and another even longer coming down! And one leading nowhere just for show!"]]
**

**
-->'''Tevye:''' On the other hand...

* Lazar Wolf's [[AwesomeMcCoolname completely unintentionally awesome name]]. Whenever someone says the character's name, modern audiences think of [[WesternAnimation/BeastWars Maximals]]. And/or ''TheKidsAreAllRight''. Or ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid''.

* The whole scene at the wedding with Lazar Wolf telling Tevye he doesn't have to listen to his 'quotes' since he is not marrying his daughter, the subsequent fight (with Tevye pushing Motel down every time he stands up to intervene), culminating with Tevye calling Lazar's wedding gift chickens diseased and Lazar responding "You leave my chickens out of this!".

-->'''Tevye''': ''I can ''see'' she is dancing with a man!

* Lazar Wolf's [[AwesomeMcCoolname completely unintentionally awesome name]]. Whenever someone says the character's name, modern audiences think of [[WesternAnimation/BeastWars Maximals]].
** And/or ''TheKidsAreAllRight''.
*** or ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid''.
* Many of Tevye's quotes:
-->'''Tevye:''' ''You may ask, where do all of these traditions come from? I'll tell you... I don't know.''

-->'''Tevye:''' ''If I were a rich man [...] [[AlienGeometries I'd have one staircase just going up, and another even longer coming down! And one leading nowhere just for show!"]]''

-->'''Tevye:''' ''As Jacob said, "I am slow of speech and slow of tongue."'''
-->'''Mendel:''' ''That was ''also'' Moses!''
-->'''Tevye:''' ''For a man slow of tongue he talked a lot!''

-->'''Tevye:''' ''AsTheGoodBookSays, "if a poor man eats a chicken, one of them is sick."''
-->'''Mendel:''' ''Where does the Book say that?''
-->'''Tevye:''' ''Well, it doesn't say exactly that, but ''somewhere'' it has ''something'' about a chicken!''

-->'''Tevye:''' ''On the other hand...''

-->'''Tevye''': ''I AM THE HEAD OF THIS FAMILY! AND I WANT TO SEE MOTEL'S MACHINE!'' (Peeks his head inside for literally one second then slams the door) ''Now let's go home!''

-->'''Lazar''': "I am going to Chicago, America."
-->'''Tevye''': "We are going to New York, America. We'll be neighbors!"

-->'''Tevye:''' ''Do you love me?''
-->'''Golde:''' ''You're a fool!''
-->'''Tevye:''' ''I know.''

-->'''Tevye:''' ''Do you love me?''
-->'''Golde:''' ''I am your ''wife!''''
-->'''Tevye:''' ''Yes, I know! But do you love me?''

-->'''Perchik:''' ''Girls are people too! They can be taught!''
-->'''Random Rabbi's helper:''' ''He's a radical!''

-->'''Other Men:''' ''She is dancing with a man!''
-->'''Tevye''': ''I can ''see'' she is dancing with a man!''
-->'''Other Men:''' ''And?''
-->'''Tevye:'''' *{{beat}}* ''And I'm going to dance ''with my wife!''''
* Tevye straight after he gives permission for Motel and Tzeitel to get married
-->'''Motel''': ''Thank you, Reb Tevye, you won't be sorry!''
-->'''Tevye''': ''Sorry? [[LargeHam I'm sorry already]]!''

-->'''Yente:''' ''Ah, children, children, they are your blessing in your old age. But my Aaron, may he rest in peace, couldn't give me children. To tell you the truth, Golde, [[TheLoinsSleepTonight he hardly tried]].''

-->'''Yente:''': ''I'm losing my head. Someday it'll fall off altogether, and a horse will kick it in the mud and goodbye, Yente.''

-->'''Yente:''': ''I'm losing my head. One day it will fall off altogether, and a horse will kick it into the mud and it'll be goodbye, Yente.''

-->'''Golde:''' A poor girl without a dowry can't be so particular. You want hair, marry a monkey.

* Tevye (to the audience): "You may ask, where do all of these traditions come from? I'll tell you... I don't know."
* Tevye's moment of FridgeLogic during one of his chats with God when, as usual, he begins to pontificate "As the good book says..." only to realise "why should I tell ''you'' what the good book says?!"
* "If I were a rich man [...] [[AlienGeometries I'd have one staircase just going up, and another even longer coming down! And one leading nowhere just for show!"]]
* "As Jacob said, 'I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.'" "That was ''also'' Moses!" "For a man slow of tongue he talked a lot!"
* "AsTheGoodBookSays, 'if a poor man eats a chicken, one of them is sick.'" "Where does the Book say that?" "Well, it doesn't say exactly that, but ''somewhere'' it has ''something'' about a chicken!"
* Tevye and Lazar Wolf's conversation in the bar. Lazar Wolf is talking about his plans to marry Tevye's daughter. Tevye thinks he's talking about buying some cows. HilarityEnsues.
* Tzeitel's imitation of Yenta during the song "Matchmaker".
* Tevye has some strange ideas about the size of America:

* Perchick: "Girls are people too! They can be taught!" Random Rabbi's helper: "He's a radical!"
* Tevye: "Do you love me?" Golde: "You're a fool!" Tevye: "I know."
** Tevye: "Do you love me?" Golde: "I am your ''wife!''" Tevye: "Yes, I know! But do you love me?"
* Tevye refusing to leave without seeing Motel's sewing machine.
-->'''Tevye''': "I AM THE HEAD OF THIS FAMILY! AND I WANT TO SEE MOTEL'S MACHINE!" (Peeks his head inside for literally one second then slams the door) "Now let's go home!"

-->'''Other Men''': "She is dancing with a man!"
-->'''Tevye''': "I can ''see'' she is dancing with a man!"
-->'''Other Men''': "And?"
-->'''Tevye'''': *{{beat}}* "And I'm going to dance ''with my wife!''"

-->'''Motel''': Thank you, Reb Tevye, you won't be sorry!
-->'''Tevye''': Sorry? [[LargeHam I'm sorry already]]!

* "On the other hand..."

-->'''Yente:''' Ah, children, children, they are your blessing in your old age. But my Aaron, may he rest in peace, couldn't give me children. To tell you the truth, Golde, [[TheLoinsSleepTonight he hardly tried]].

-->'''Yente:''': I'm losing my head. One day it will fall off altogether, and a horse will kick it into the mud and it'll be goodbye, Yente.

\\

\\

-->'''Tevye:''' You know... you are also right.

* After Tevye has given Hodel and Perchik permission to get married, he suddenly gets worried about what he is going to tell Golde. Perchik suggests that he tell her about the rich uncle Perchik will be staying with in Kiev. Tevye shouts that he doesn't need to be told how to handle his wife. However, as soon as Golde starts reacting badly to the news, Tevye immediately tells her about the rich uncle in Kiev.

* "On the other hand..."

-->'''Rabbi''': A blessing for the czar? Of course! May God bless and keep the czar [[TakeThat far away from us!]]

-->'''Rabbi''': A blessing for the czar? Of course! May God bless and keep the czar [[TakeThat far away from us!]]

-->'''Rabbi''': A blessing for the czar? Of course! May God bless and keep the czar [[TakeThat far away from us!]]

-->'''Tevye''': Sorry? [[LargeHam I'm sorry already]]!