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* In a quick flashback, we are seen Vegeta crying over wanting to be a Super Saiyan.
* While Goku is downed due to a heart problem, he calls in for Piccolo to do a tag-in, only to be lasered by Dr. Gero, then Goku calls on his son, only for #19 to land right on top of Goku.
* Just as Goku is about to have his energy drained, we hear a endless, repeating string of "mine" from Vegeta coming in from miles away.
* Yamcha volunteers to take Goku back to his house, also noting that he will just get killed if he stays fighting, to which everyone agrees.
* While Goku is downed due to a heart problem, he calls in for Piccolo to do a tag-in, only to be lasered by Dr. Gero, then Goku calls on his son, only for #19 to land right on top of Goku.
* Just as Goku is about to have his energy drained, we hear a endless, repeating string of "mine" from Vegeta coming in from miles away.
* Yamcha volunteers to take Goku back to his house, also noting that he will just get killed if he stays fighting, to which everyone agrees.
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** He gets another good one when [[spoiler: Vegeta goes Super Saiyan,]] showing just how far out of the loop he is.
-->'''Dr. Gero''': SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAMEK?!
-->'''Dr. Gero''': SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAMEK?!
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[[/folder]]
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* When someone needs a Senzu Bean (Goku for his heart attack, Piccolo wondering where his was when he faked getting injured, and Yamcha getting Yamcha'd again), Krillin throws a Senzu Bean at them. When Vegeta outright asks for one in the stinger, Krillin refuses.
-->'''Krillin''': [[BlatantLies What, do you think I'm just giving these away? 'Cause I'm not]].
[[/folder]]
-->'''Krillin''': [[BlatantLies What, do you think I'm just giving these away? 'Cause I'm not]].
[[/folder]]
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[[WMG:Episode 35]]
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[[WMG:Episode 35]]36]]
** Even funnier are the constant "Ow"s coming from 19.
* Goku started to take the heart medicine, but then he stopped because [[CallBack it was grape flavored.]]
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* At the end, Krillin throws a Senzu bean at 19's head and Vegeta throws a [[CallBack dog biscuit.]]
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** When he notes 19's inability to dodge and how simple it is, [[CallBack Piccolo just looks at Gohan,]] [[RunningGag saying nothing.]]
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[[WMG:Episode 35]]
* Dr. Gero tries a BadassBoast, but eventually he gets fed up with Android 19 countering Goku all the time:
-->'''Dr. Gero''': Oh for God's sake 19, throw a fucking punch!
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* '''Toolo:''' "[[NoIndoorVoice I CAN SEE THE]] '''[[NoIndoorVoice FYOOO]]'''-[[NoIndoorVoice CHURRRR]]!!!!!!"
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* '''Toolo:''' '''[[OneSceneWonder Toolo]]:''' "[[NoIndoorVoice I CAN SEE THE]] '''[[NoIndoorVoice FYOOO]]'''-[[NoIndoorVoice CHURRRR]]!!!!!!"
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It\'s \"case IN point\", not \"case and point\". This boils my Grammar Nazi blood.
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** [[InvokedTrope Case]] [[FridgeLogic and]] [[FridgeBrilliance point]].
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** [[InvokedTrope Case]] [[FridgeLogic and]] in]] [[FridgeBrilliance point]].
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* Vegeta's [[MassEffect Renegade Interrupt]].
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* Vegeta's [[MassEffect [[Franchise/MassEffect Renegade Interrupt]].
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* [[WesternAnimation/TheIncredibles Woman, where is my Saiyan Suit?]]
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* [[WesternAnimation/TheIncredibles Woman, where is my mah Saiyan Suit?]]Suit?!]]
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Moments from ''WebVideo/TwoSaiyansPlay'' can be found[[Funny/TwoSaiyansPlay here]].
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Moments from ''WebVideo/TwoSaiyansPlay'' can be found[[Funny/TwoSaiyansPlay found [[Funny/TwoSaiyansPlay here]].
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Moments from ''WebVideo/TwoSaiyansPlay'' can be found[[Funny/TwoSaiyansPlay here]].
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-->'''Vegeta''': I...''you..!'''
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-->'''Vegeta''': I...''you..!'''''you''!
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* Moments from ''WebVideo/TwoSaiyansPlay'' [[Funny/TwoSaiyansPlay here]]
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-->'''Vegeta:''' [[{{SuperhumanSamuraiSyber-Squad}} Samurai Syber-Squad]]?
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-->'''Vegeta:''' [[{{SuperhumanSamuraiSyber-Squad}} [[Series/SuperhumanSamuraiSyberSquad Samurai Syber-Squad]]?
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'''Nail:''' (thinking) Oh God, this is so horribly dull. I sure hope something happens, I don't care what it is!\\
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'''Nail:''' (thinking) Oh God, this is so horribly dull. [[{{Foreshadowing}} I sure hope something happens, happens,]] [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor I don't care what it is!\\is!]]\\
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* The alternate take of [[spoiler: Yamcha's suicide. The rope he hung himself with? It was Puar using his shape-shifting.]]
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* The alternate take of Goku escaping Namek. He presses the muffin button, but gets a cookie instead. The result is a BigNo as the planet explodes.
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--> '''Freeza:''' It's like putting down [[OldYeller Old Space Yeller]].
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--> '''Freeza:''' It's like putting down [[OldYeller [[Literature/OldYeller Old Space Yeller]].
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-->'''Roshi (Off-Screen)''': ...[[HeheYouSaidX Heh heh heh HEH HEH! AAAAAAHAA! AAAA-]]
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-->'''Roshi (Off-Screen)''': ...[[HeheYouSaidX [[HehHehYouSaidX Heh heh heh HEH HEH! AAAAAAHAA! AAAA-]]
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-->'''Roshi (Off-Screen)''': ...Heh heh heh HEH HEH! AAAAAAHAA! AAAA-
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-->'''Roshi (Off-Screen)''': ...[[HeheYouSaidX Heh heh heh HEH HEH! AAAAAAHAA! AAAA-AAAA-]]
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* Goku's pondering of [[WhatMeasureIsANonhuman what Androids are]], capping it off with asking DoAndroidsDreamOfElectricSheep
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*** And at the [[RunningGag start of the episode,]] he's the one reading the disclaimer. He's extremely GenreSavvy about the matter.
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** He caps this off by asking DoAndroidsDreamOfElectricSheep... only to think "[[TheSimpsons Mmm, Techno-lamb.]]"
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* Goku's pondering of [[WhatMeasureIsANonhuman what Androids are]], capping it off with asking DoAndroidsDreamOfElectricSheep?
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* Goku's pondering of [[WhatMeasureIsANonhuman what Androids are]], capping it off with asking DoAndroidsDreamOfElectricSheep?DoAndroidsDreamOfElectricSheep
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-->'''Android #19:''' "Analyzing... processing, processing complete. They are psychic, probability... 92.4%. THEY CAN SEE THE FYOO-CHURR."
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-->'''Android #19:''' "Analyzing...Analyzing... processing, processing complete. They are psychic, probability... 92.4%. [[CallBack THEY CAN SEE THE FYOO-CHURR."]]
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-->'''Gohan''': (exasperated) Three years Dad. You almost had it.
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-->'''Gohan''': (exasperated) Three years Dad. You Three years - almost had it.
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-->'''Driver''': Please put that back. I kinda need that to flee from you!
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-->'''Driver''': Please put that back. I kinda need that to flee from you!you.
* Goku's pondering of [[WhatMeasureIsANonhuman what Androids are]], capping it off with asking DoAndroidsDreamOfElectricSheep?
* Goku's pondering of [[WhatMeasureIsANonhuman what Androids are]], capping it off with asking DoAndroidsDreamOfElectricSheep?
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[[WMG: Episode 2]]
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* In Episode 14...
* In Episode 14...
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* In Episode 14...
*
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[[WMG: Episode 16]]
* The beginning of episode 16. The audience knows what's about to happen, and the happy music and cheerful outlook of the Namekians make the coming slaughter of them by Vegeta all the more hilarious.
* The beginning of episode 16. The audience knows what's about to happen, and the happy music and cheerful outlook of the Namekians make the coming slaughter of them by Vegeta all the more hilarious.
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* The
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[[WMG: Episode 17]]
* From episode 17:
* From episode 17:
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* From episode 17:
*
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[[WMG: Episode 18]]
* In episode 18: Vegeta discovers the Dragonball he hid away is missing. [[TheScream This]] [[{{Understatement}} irritates]] [[UpToEleven him.]]
* In episode 18: Vegeta discovers the Dragonball he hid away is missing. [[TheScream This]] [[{{Understatement}} irritates]] [[UpToEleven him.]]
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*
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[[WMG: Episode 22]]
* Episode 22: Another great Guru line - "And so I tell him, 'I don't care who you are, now ''clean my jowls''!' ...And that was Nail's first day on the job." Then, after Guru unlocks Dende's potential, Dende leaves. Guru's response? '''"Thaaaat ''SLUUUUUUUUUTTT!!"'''''
* Episode 22: Another great Guru line - "And so I tell him, 'I don't care who you are, now ''clean my jowls''!' ...And that was Nail's first day on the job." Then, after Guru unlocks Dende's potential, Dende leaves. Guru's response? '''"Thaaaat ''SLUUUUUUUUUTTT!!"'''''
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*
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[[WMG:Episode 32]]
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[[WMG:Episode 33]]
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...No, that joke doesn\'t work here. The error report sending was from XP.
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** Huh. Guess Freeza isn't the only one that's running on Windows 95.
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fixed some of the quotes
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-->'''Freeza: ''' "Well I was just in the neighborhood, thought this was a lovely place for a summer home- Oh what the f*** do you think I'm here for!?"
-->'''Namekian Elder: ''' "Our trees?"
-->'''Namekian Elder: ''' "Our trees?"
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-->'''Freeza: ''' "Well "Well, you see, I was just in the neighborhood, area and I thought this was would be a lovely ''delightful'' place for a summer home- Oh home what the f*** do you think I'm here for!?"
-->'''Namekian Elder: '''"Our "Our... trees?"
-->'''Namekian Elder: '''
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-->'''Freeza:''' [laughs] Oh my! ''Twelve''.
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-->'''Freeza:''' [laughs] Oh my! my! ...''Twelve''.
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----> '''[[spoiler: Dodoria]]:''' W-w-wait! You and I... we could team up against Freeza! Rule the Universe! ... As husband and wife.
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----> '''[[spoiler: Dodoria]]:''' W-w-wait! You and I... we could team up against Freeza! Rule the Universe! ... As as husband and wife.
wife!
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--> '''Vegeta:''' "Hi there! I'm taking your Dragon Ball"
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--> '''Vegeta:''' "Hi there! I'm taking your Dragon Ball"Ball."
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-->'''Vegeta:''' Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal slug.
-->'''Nail:''' Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal ''bitch''.
-->'''Nail:''' Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal ''bitch''.
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-->'''Vegeta:''' Pretty big Big talk coming from a bipedal slug.
-->'''Nail:'''Pretty big Big talk coming from a bipedal ''bitch''.
-->'''Nail:'''
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-->'''Guru:''' Heeeey. Just thought I'd let you all know I detect several high power levels approaching the planet.
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-->'''Guru:''' Heeeey. Just thought I'd let inform you all know I detect all. There are several high power levels approaching coming towarrrrds the planet.
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-->'''Vegeta:''' A beating! That's it! Gunna go pay him a beating.
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-->'''Vegeta:''' A beating! That's Beating, that's it! Gunna go pay him a beating.
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--->'''Krillin:''' (still running his mouth quickly) [=ShutupwhenImscared=],[=Iknow=]! [[ShownTheirWork IoncegotacrushonalittleindianboythatIthoughtwasagirl]].
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--->'''Krillin:''' (still running his mouth quickly) [=ShutupwhenImscared=],[=Iknow=]! [[ShownTheirWork IoncegotacrushonalittleindianboythatIthoughtwasagirl]].IoncehadacrushonalittleindianboythatIthoughtwasagirl]].
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'''Vegeta:''' [[[TheScream loudly screams out of frustration]]]
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'''Vegeta:''' [[[TheScream loudly screams out of frustration]]]frustration]]] I will not stand for this! I will not be humiliated by a low-class wretch!!\\
'''Goku:''' Awww, sounds like somebody's got an ice cream headache...\\
'''Vegeta:''' THAT'S IT. [[KillEmAll EVERYONE DIES]].
'''Goku:''' Awww, sounds like somebody's got an ice cream headache...\\
'''Vegeta:''' THAT'S IT. [[KillEmAll EVERYONE DIES]].
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-->'''Goku:''' Krillin, come here. I have something to give you.
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-->'''Goku:''' Krillin, come here. I have something to give you.\\
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'''Krillin:''' And you’re giving it to me?\\
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-->'''Nail:''' (Lands on a random spot) This is my people's sacred battleground.
-->'''Freeza:''' We flew over an hour for ''this?'' It looks exactly the same as everywhere else on this god-forsaken rock!
-->'''Freeza:''' We flew over an hour for ''this?'' It looks exactly the same as everywhere else on this god-forsaken rock!
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-->'''Nail:''' (Lands on a random spot) This is my people's sacred battleground.
-->'''Freeza:'''battleground.\\
'''Freeza:''' We flew over an hour for ''this?'' It looks exactly the same as everywhere else on this god-forsaken rock!
** Then:
--->'''Nail:''' Peh. Racist.\\
'''Freeza:''' Now, now. Can't be racist against a race that '''[[CrossesTheLineTwice doesn't exist.]]'''
-->'''Freeza:'''
'''Freeza:''' We flew over an hour for ''this?'' It looks exactly the same as everywhere else on this god-forsaken rock!
** Then:
--->'''Nail:''' Peh. Racist.\\
'''Freeza:''' Now, now. Can't be racist against a race that '''[[CrossesTheLineTwice doesn't exist.]]'''
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--> '''Yamcha''' Oh God, oh man, oh jeez, oh crap!
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Funny moments from DBZ Abridged. WARNING: You might be here a while.
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Episodes 1-10]]
[[WMG:Episode 1]]
* All of the farmer's lines, despite the fact that he only has about 4 of them in the entire series.
--> '''Farmer:''' (''notices spaceship crash on his farm in the distance'') OH GOD NO, MY MARIJUANA PATCH! I mean uhhh, my carrot patch. Uh... YEAH. (''approaches crashed spaceship'') Guess I'll do what any sensible Middle American would do in this situation (''pulls out rifle''): GIT MAH GUN!\\
'''Spaceship:''' Hello and welcome to Earth: with open bar.\\
'''Farmer:''' (''Notices Raditz getting out of his ship bathed in blue light'') HOLY CRAP, IT'S [[SonicTheHedgehog SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!]] Oh wait, no... It’s an alien! HOLY S***, IT'S AN ALIEN!\\
'''Raditz:''' Finally, on this dead plan... (''notices teeming wildlife'') wait... what the crap? Did Kakarot screw this up? Oh, goddamnit! I knew we should have sent Turles.\\
'''Farmer:''' (''thinking'') I better think of something cool to say to make him stop (''cocks gun, then shouting'') HEY YOU! (''thinking again'') Genius, farmer... Genius.\\
'''Raditz:''' Aw, look at him! He thinks he's people. What's your power level, little human? Five, huh?\\
'''Farmer:''' (''shoots'') PROTECT ME, GUN!\\
'''Raditz:''' (''catches the bullet'') Hey! No! Bad human! (''flicks it back'')\\
'''Farmer:''' Damn it, I voted for Bush.\\
'''Raditz:''' Bad! Now get back up and say you're sorry. (''Farmer doesn't move'') Human? Huuuman? (''sighs'') [[AndCallHimGeorge So this is why dad said I couldn't keep Appule]].
* Goku meeting Raditz.
-->'''Goku:''' So what are you here for? The Dragon Balls?\\
'''Raditz:''' The... the Dragon's what?\\
'''Goku:''' The Dragon Balls, you know? There are seven of them? They grant you any wish you want? Like immortality.\\
'''Oolong:''' Or Bulma's panties. [Cut to some alien bug planet]\\
'''Nappa:''' Hey Vegeta did you hear that?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Oh yeah, we're totally going to Earth to get our wish.\\
'''Nappa:''' Yeah we're gonn get panties!... I mean immortality. Immortality is what I meant. Right, Vegeta?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Just get in the damn pod, Nappa.
** Bulma's introduction:
--->'''Bulma:''' Hey I'm here.\\
'''Krillin:''' BOOBS! I mean, Bulma... Hi!\\
'''Bulma:''' Oooooooookaaaaaaaay.
* Piccolo and Tom. That is all.
-->'''Piccolo:''' Why [should I help you]?\\
'''Goku:''' I'll friend you on MySpace.\\
[{{beat}}, cut to the two flying]\\
'''Piccolo:''' Tom, you've been replaced.
* Bulma walking in on Yamcha cheating on her.
-->'''Yamcha:''' BULMA! THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE- okay it's totally what it looks like. Can I still live here? ''Please?'' Before this I was living in the desert. And have you changed Puar's litter box yet?
* Vegeta3986 taking the role of Raditz away from Lanipator ''mid-attack'' because of an argument over his ''special move''.
-->'''Lanipator as Raditz''': "Prepare yourself for my signature attack: DOUBLE SUN-" (Picture turns monochrome and the RecordNeedleScratch sound is heard.)\\
'''Vegeta3986''': No!\\
'''Lanipator''': Eh - huh?\\
'''Vegeta3986''': Give me the mic!\\
'''Lanipator''': What? No - come on, man!\\
'''Vegeta3986''': Dude, give me the mic! (A picture of the original Dragonball appears on screen with the words 'We are experiencing technical difficulties' superimposed over the top and bottom.)\\
'''Lanipator''': That is the real attack name!\\
'''Vegeta3986''': No it isn't!\\
'''Lanipator''': Fine, here, take it. I'll just go practice my Vegeta. Ass.
[[WMG: Episode 2]]
* Raditz's assumption that nudity makes you stronger on Earth.
--> Raditz: Ah ha, so nudity makes you stronger on this planet! *Zipper sound*\\
Goku: Uh no, we're wearing weighted clothing. *Zipper sound*\\
Raditz: Of course, that would be stupid! Ah ha, ha ha[[{{Beat}} ...]]\\
Piccolo: So that hair does compensate for something.\\
[[HarveyBirdmanAttorneyAtLaw Phil Ken Sebben]]: Ha ha! Dangly parts!
* Raditz, Goku, and Piccolo in Episode 2:
-->'''Raditz:''' Aha! Attacking an opponent up to four times your strength in a one-on-one battle. A cunning strategy... no, no, not cunning. What's the opposite of that?\\
'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') Retarded?\\
'''Raditz:''' That's it, thank you! Now, disregarding the Namekian, I-\\
'''Goku:''' Ah- a ''Yoshi.''\\
'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') I'm not a goddamn Yoshi!\\
'''Goku:''' But you said you were!\\
'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') It's called ''sarcasm!''\\
'''Goku:''' What's ''that'' taste like?\\
'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') ''DAMMIT Goku!!''\\
'''Raditz:''' Stop ignoring me!!\\
[''Raditz crushes Goku's ribs'']\\
'''Goku:''' Ow, my ribs! I think you broke my... mmm... ribs.\\
** "DAMN YOU, HINDSIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!"
*** Bleh.
** Right after Goku dies:
--->'''Krillin:''' Holy crap. (''cheerfully''): I'm not the first person to die in this series!\\
'''Roshi:''' Krillin!\\
'''Krillin:''' What?\\
'''Roshi:''' TooSoon!
* Piccolo mentally singing [[TheMuppetShow Mahna Mahna]] while Goku "distracts" Raditz.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBm_2IUn4MU#t=4m43s As Goku is being beaten senseless, Gohan escapes from Raditz's space pod, blowing it up.]]
-->'''Raditz:''' NO! MY SPACE PO-- (''Gohan headbutts Raditz's chest, cracking his armor'') UGH! MY SPACE ARMOR!\\
'''Piccolo:''' We get it, you're from space!
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBm_2IUn4MU#t=5m13s As Gohan gets up, Raditz appears behind him:]]
-->'''Raditz:''' UNCLE RADITZ IS PISSED! [He swipes at Gohan. The scene pauses.]\\
'''Voice:''' We here at TeamFourStar do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious. [Scene resumes.]
[[WMG: Episode 3]]
* After Goku's death, Master Roshi says that his sacrifice was not in vain and that it stopped a great evil. As he says that [[TemptingFate everyone's lives can return to peace]], Nappa and Vegeta are heard over Raditz scouter:
-->'''Nappa:''' Guy-who's-as-strong-as-a-saibaman says "what?" ''({{beat}})'' That usually gets to him. I think he's dead, Vegeta.\\
'''Vegeta:''' Big shocker! Nobody cares! We're ten times stronger than him anyway! We'll go to Earth, find the dragonballs and [[KillEmAll kill everyone]]! [[{{Exposition}} And we'll be there within the year or so!]] Depending on {{filler}}, of course!\\
'''Nappa:''' Aaaanything else we need to go over, Vegeta?\\
'''Vegeta:''' ...Nope. That's about it. ''(conversation ends)''\\
'''Master Roshi:''' [[OhCrap Well...]] '''''[[PrecisionFStrike F]][[CurseCutShort u]]'''''--''(HardCut to intro)''
* The birth of a great RunningGag: "NEEEEERD!"
* Piccolo throws Gohan at a mountain ("Actually, that looks more like a plat--AAAAAAAH!!!") and instead of busting through the mountain like in the show, a [[BlackComedy splatter sound is heard and Gohan cries.]]
-->'''Piccolo:''' Ew...
* The first hint of Mr. Popo's ... ahem ... ''[[NightmareFuelStationAttendant character]]''... Kami tells Popo that he'll be receiving new trainees. [[DrillSergeantNasty Mr. Popo]]... [[EvilLaugh laughs]].
* "6 billion?! I'm supposed to be intimidated by 6 billion?! I can judge 6 billion souls faster than you can take a piss, old man!"
* This ShoutOut to ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'':
-->'''King Yemma:''' Sure, he can go to King Kai, but he'll have to run on [[IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace SNAAAAKE WAAAAY]]! ''(Cue [[{{Sting}} Dramatic Sting]])''\\
'''Goku:''' [[TooDumbToLive Sounds nice!]]\\
'''King Yemma:''' Prepare to be surprised.
* King Yemma's rant about his (Mahogany!) desk.
-->'''King Yemma:''' And not just ''any'' mahogany! But mahogany from the planet of Malchior 7! Where the trees are 300 feet tall and breathe ''fire!'' From these trees this desk was forged 2,000 years ago, using ancient blood rituals of the ancient Malchior people! Not only does this make my desk nigh indestructible, ''but it can bend the fabric of the universe itself!'' Also, it's a very fine material. Very expensive.\\
'''Kami:''' Oh...kay.\\
'''King Yemma:''' Mahogany.
[[WMG: Episode 4]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ys7pLfOVZDE#t=7m21s Goku's defeat of Princess Snake.]]
** As well as her earlier spying on a naked Goku...[[Franchise/MetalGear while hiding in]] [[MemeticMutation a cardboard box]].
* The backstory behind the blood fountain in hell.
-->'''Goku:''' Have you guys seen my brother Raditz around here? Spiky hair...tail?\\
'''Mez:''' Ach, yes, he made a horrible mess of ze blood fountain.\\
'''Goku:''' Looks fine to me.\\
'''Goz:''' IT USED TO BE WATER!
* The first time Mr. Popo speaks.
-->'''Popo:''' Alright maggots, listen up. Popo's 'bout to teach you the pecking order: it goes you, the dirt, the worms inside the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami; and Popo. Any questions?\\
'''Krillin:''' Uh, yeah, I- (''cut to outside shot of lookout as sounds of fighting can be heard, followed by a black dot falling off said lookout'') AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!\\
[''[[RunningGag Krillin Owned Count]]: 3'']\\
'''Popo:''' Enjoy the climb back up, '''[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]'''! Any more questions? (''silence'') Good. Then we can begin.
[[WMG: Episode 5]]
* Meanwhile, Back in episode 5,
-->'''Guru:''' Nail... Nail!\\
'''Nail:''' What is it, Lord Guru?\\
'''Guru:''' I saw a fish. That is all. Go back outside now.\\
'''Nail:''' (thinking) Oh God, this is so horribly dull. I sure hope something happens, I don't care what it is!\\
'''Guru:''' ''NAAAIL!''\\
'''Nail:''' (''obviously angry'') WHAT!\\
'''Guru:''' I saw a bird. It was pretty. Kick its ass.
* Piccolo's destruction of the moon being reported on in the news.
--> '''Anchorman:''' We now go to our resident expert on lunar science, SailorMoon. Sailor?\\
'''SailorMoon:''' ''*Getting electrocuted*'' '''OH DEAR GOD!!!'''\\
'''Anchorman:''' [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight Thanks, Sailor!]] We now return you to NickAtNite's 24-hour FullHouse marathon, already in progress.
* '''[[TrainingFromHell "DOD]][[LargeHam GE!"]]'''
* Vegeta [[{{Scorpions}} rocks the Arlian king... like a]] ''[[{{Scorpions}} hurricane]]''.
* The reward of the Arlians freed by Nappa and Vegeta.
-->'''Arlian:''' You have freed our race! We shall erect statues of you...\\
'''Nappa:''' Well, isn't that nice of them, Vegeta?\\
'''Arlian:''' ... Out of our dung!\\
'''Nappa:''' (''beat'') Well, isn't that nice of them, Vege-\\
'''Vegeta:''' We're leaving, Nappa.\\
'''Nappa:''' 'Kay.
[[WMG: Episode 6]]
* Freeza the Wiki vandal:
-->Stupid monkeys hit by falling rocks ([[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial not deathball thrown by Freeza]]). Ahahahahahahaha! P.S.: Freeza rules you!
* Absolutely ''anything'' Mr. Popo says.
-->'''Kami:''' Mr. Popo, where did you send them?\\
'''Popo:''' I'll tell you where they're ''not'': '''safe'''.
* Popo's last comments for the Z fighters after they've completed their training are hilariously blunt.
-->[[{{Foreshadowing}} You're all going to die]].
[[WMG: Episode 7]]
* Here's a little fact from Namek: Namekians may be powerful fighters, but they have one weakness: they ''don't '' have penises!
-->'''Nappa:''' Look, Vegeta! A Namekian!\\
'''Krillin:''' Hey, I take offense to that!\\
'''Piccolo:''' He was referring to ''me'', you idiot! And it's not an insult. The Namekians are a fine, proud race of...\\
'''Nappa:''' That means he doesn't have a penis, right Vegeta? [Vegeta and Nappa snicker off-screen, as Piccolo stands embarrassed.]\\
'''Vegeta:''' Eunuchs.
* Nappa thinking Chiaotzu is a Pokémon.
-->'''Nappa:''' Eh...eh! Vegeta! Look! A Pokémon...\\
'''Chiaotzu:''' I'm not a Pokémon! I'm Chiaotzu! Chiaotzu!\\
'''Nappa:''' Do you hear that, Vegeta? It’s a Chiaotzu! I'm gonna catch it!. *Grabs Pokéball.*\\
'''Chiaotzu:''' I told you I am not a Pokém...OW! *Gets hit by a Pokéball*\\
'''Nappa:''' Awwww, it didnt work, Vegeta.\\
'''Vegeta:''' That's cause you have to damage it first.\\
'''Nappa:''' Alright! Let's see if I can get a [[CriticalHit critical]]!! *Chiaotzu flinches in response*
[[WMG: Episode 8]]
* Krillin and Piccolo's plan B:
-->'''Krillin and Piccolo:''' [[{{Naruto}} KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!]] [Clones of Krillin and Piccolo appear]\\
'''Nappa:''': Vegeta! I can't... [[{{CatchPhrase}} BELIEVE IT!]] [Vegeta groans in disgust]\\
* Nappa's thoughts while he parries all of the Krillin and Piccolo's clones attacks:
-->'''Nappa:''' Patty cake, patty cake, baker's MAN! Bake me a cake as fast as you CAN!\\
'''Nappa:''' (''After all of the clones are gone'') Good effort, but I'm the patty cake champion.\\
'''Piccolo:''' What?
* When Nappa stops in mid-air.
-->'''Nappa:''' Vegeta!\\
'''Vegeta:''' What is it, Nappa!?\\
'''Nappa:''' ''[[RememberedICouldFly I can fly]]''.\\
'''Vegeta:''' (''[[{{Angrish}} stammering]]'') ... Yes, Nappa, yes you can.
* After Krillin warns Vegeta and Nappa that Goku is coming, Vegeta decides to kill Krillin and the others until Nappa interjects:
-->'''Nappa:''' But Vegeta, I wanna meet the strong guy!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Nappa, just kill them first and-\\
'''Nappa:''' But I want him to see us kill them!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Oh god, there's no arguing with you. Fine! I'll give you three hours tops, after that I'm killing all of you!
* After merely a minute of waiting, Nappa gets impatient, which starts to get on everyone's nerves. Vegeta tells Nappa to go have fun, and we get this:
-->'''Nappa:''' Oh boy! This is gonna be my [[{{PunctuatedForEmphasis}} BEST. DAY. EVER.]] [Nappa then proceeds to destroy a whole naval fleet while whimsical music is playing in the background.]\\
* In TheStinger, we get this exchange between Nappa and Vegeta:
-->'''Vegeta:''' Nappa, where did your armor go?\\
'''Nappa:''' I had a hell of a day, Vegeta: I sank their battleship, AND THEIR WHALES. [Cuts to an ocean full of blood and sunken ships.]\\
'''Aquaman:''' [[{{BigNo}} NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!]]
[[WMG: Episode 9]]
* Nappa and Vegeta's discussion at the start of the episode:
-->'''Krillin:''' (''with Nappa charging towards him'') Wait, myturnmyturnMYTURN! [Nappa stops dead in his tracks.]\\
'''Vegeta:''' Nappa, what are you doing?\\
'''Nappa:''' It's his turn, Vegeta. I have to wait for him.\\
'''Vegeta:''' Wha... I... uh... (''nose starts to bleed'')\\
'''Nappa:''' You okay, Vegeta?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Yes... just... just having an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity.\\
'''Nappa:''' Oh. (''beat'') I didn't think you were that stupid, Vegeta.\\
'''Vegeta:''' AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHGHHHH!\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[{{Foreshadowing}} Nine minutes, eighteen seconds...nine minutes, eighteen seconds...]]\\
'''Nappa:''' What's that, Vegeta?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Happiest... moment... of... my life...
** Then Nappa dies at that time mark in the episode.
* Krillin shows off his new technique:
-->'''Krillin:''' HEY! Stop treating me like a joke dammit! I've got a new technique--which I probably could've used earlier and maybe saved all of our friends' lives--but that's beside the point! (''charging a disc of energy in his hand'') Get ready for my '''destructo disc!'''\\
'''Piccolo:''' (''barely alive'') Laaame.\\
'''Krillin:''' Now, take THIS! (''throws the disc at an angle, where it grinds across the ground before heading towards Nappa and Vegeta'')\\
'''Nappa:''' Oooh! A frisbee Vegeta!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Nappa, no! It's a trick!\\
'''Nappa:''' But Vegeta... tricks are for kids.\\
'''Vegeta:''' ... You know what, Nappa? On second thought, catch it. Catch it with your teeth.\\
'''Nappa:''' Yay, like a doggy! (''gets cut by the disc, which rebounds towards a small mountain'') Ow!\\
'''Ricola guy:''' Riiicola-- (''disc explodes, cutting off the mountain's top half''') Oh goddammit! (''mountain half falls and breaks into pieces'')
* Gohan snaps for the first time:
-->'''Gohan:''' TAKE THAT, YOU INSUFFERABLE F**KING SIMPLETON!!\\
'''Piccolo:''' Whoa, Gohan! [[WhatTheHellHero What the hell?!]]\\
'''Gohan:''' (''calmed down'') Wha? I'm sorry, Mr. Piccolo, I didn't mean to snap like that!\\
'''Piccolo:''' No, stay snapped, STAY SNAPPED!
* Gohan loses his temper:
-->'''Gohan:''' [[SophisticatedAsHell I'm gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal tract as a condom while I fornicate with your skull!]]\\
'''Nappa:''' (''{{Beat}}'') ... What?\\
'''Gohan: ''I'M GONNA SKULLF██K YOU!'''''
* Krillin tells Goku about the fate of his friends:
-->'''Goku:''' Where's Chiaotzu?\\
'''Krillin:''' Oh, he's here... and there... and there... and there... and-\\
'''Gohan:''' [[RunningGag Krillin]]!\\
'''Krillin:''' What?\\
'''Gohan:''' TooSoon!
* Goku asks Nappa and Vegeta who caused the deaths of his friends:
-->'''Nappa:''' That was me, totally calling it. I killed every single one of them. Except the Chiaotzu. He blew himself up!
* Team Four Star presents their version of one of the most famous {{Memetic Mutation}}s in anime history:
-->'''Nappa:''' Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his power level?!\\
'''Vegeta:''' It's... one thousand and six.\\
'''Nappa:''' ...Really?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Yeah. Kick his ass, Nappa!\\
'''Nappa:''' Yaaaaay!\\
[Nappa gets his ass handed to him by Goku.]\\
'''Nappa:''' (''while Vegeta is delivering the below lines'') That doesn't bend that way! MY ARM DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY! (''*snap*'') Aaw, now it does!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Hmmm... that doesn't seem right... wait, wait, wait wait! Nappa!\\
'''Nappa:''' (''collapses at Vegeta's feet'') Whaaaaat?!\\
'''Vegeta:''' I had the Scouter upside down. It's OverNineThousand. (''calmly crushes Scouter'') Rah.\\
'''Nappa:''' Why do you sound so bored?!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Because he's ''still'' not a threat.\\
'''Nappa:''' But--\\
'''Vegeta:''' To ''me''.
** And on the subject of {{Memetic Mutation}}s:
--->'''Nappa:''' Vegeta, look! I'm a-firin' my '''BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!'''
* This episode ends with a surprisingly understated (yet hysterical) moment where Vegeta [[spoiler:finally kills Nappa for his unrelenting stupidity]] at exactly [[BrickJoke nine minutes and eighteen seconds]]. His reaction is a simple smile.
[[WMG: Episode 10]]
* Vegeta after [[spoiler: Nappa dies]]:
-->'''Vegeta:''' (Laughs maniacally) HE'S GONE! HE'S FINALLY GONE! I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW, I MIGHT NOT EVEN SLAUGHTER YOU ALL!!\\
'''Krillin:''' R-Really?\\
'''Vegeta:''' (Laughter dies down) Oh no, you are all thoroughly screwed.
* Vegeta gets a replacement idiot.
-->'''Goku:''' Are you okay in there?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Yeah, I'm fan-f***ing-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here.\\
'''Goku:''' Oh, really? Can I come in too?\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[SurroundedByIdiots ...I'm surrounded by idiots.]]\\
'''Goku:''' I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream!\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[[TheScream loudly screams out of frustration]]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm0V0UVqFtQ#t=8m33s AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]
-->'''Goku:''' What's going on, guys? We won, right?
* When Goku and Vegeta are about to fight:
-->'''Vegeta:''' It's like you're beef jerky and I'm Filet Mignon.\\
'''Goku:''' I like both those things!\\
'''Vegeta:''' ... I'm going to start beating you now. I don't know when I'll stop.\\
'''Goku:''' Hopefully before dinner, because I told Gohan to tell Chi-Chi to- (Vegeta interrupts with an attack)
* And later, Son Goku: squeaky toy.
-->(Oozaru!Vegeta has Goku in his grasp)\\
'''Oozaru!Vegeta:''' Alright, Kakarot! Let's hear those bones shatter! (squeezes harder)\\
'''Goku:''' *squeaky*\\
'''Oozaru!Vegeta:''' ... What the?\\
'''Goku:''' *squeaky*\\
'''Oozaru!Vegeta:''' My God, [[LampshadeHanging that's hilarious!]]\\
'''Goku:''' *squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky*
* How about this one when [[spoiler:[[UnstoppableRage Ooza]][[OneWingedAngel ru]]]] Gohan fights Vegeta:
-->'''Goku:''' Gohan, this is daddy. I know you're angry right now but you have to focus your anger.  R-remember Icarus? (shows Icarus and explosion) *Gohan has an angered expression* (Camera shows Vegeta) [[MotivationalLie He did it.]] *Gohan SCREAMS in anger*\\
'''Vegeta:''' Well that's bulls***! I haven't killed a damn thing since I came to this godforsaken planet. ([[AsideGlance Looks at camera]]) Not from lack of trying, mind you.
* But the crowning moment of them all came at the very end of the first season as a throwaway gag. [[spoiler:"[[Film/{{Ghostbusters}} GHOST NAPPA!]]"]] According to an interview from the [[http://www.daizex.com Daizenshuu EX]] podcast, that joke was apparently planned almost from the beginning, making pretty much the entire first season a set-up to get to that punchline. Hence the name of the finale "The Punchline".
** Vegeta, at the end of episode 10, comes across an old friend, much to his horror,
--->'''Vegeta:''' "They've broken my body... I've failed in my mission to find the Dragon Balls... I even lost my tail... but, at least... [[RockBottom it can't get any worse... from here...]]"\\
'''???:''' "Vegeta... Vegeeeeetaaaaa..."\\
'''Vegeta:''' "Wh-what?"\\
'''Nappa:''' ''[appears as a ghost]'' "I'mhauntingyou!"\\
'''Vegeta:''' '''''[[BigNo NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!]]'''''
* Goku hits his head harder than he thought and believed he was in the Film/DragonBallEvolution continuity.
-->'''Goku:''' Man, this is worse than [[Film/DragonBallEvolution that time I was in high school, and all the guys called me "Geeko", and I was Piccolo's slave, I couldn't get Chi-Chi to like me, and...]] Oh wow, I hit that rock harder than I thought.
* Vegeta when he loses his temper is always hilarious.
-->'''Vegeta:''' SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR PLANET KAKAROT!!\\
'''Goku:''' Hey, that's not very nice!"\\
'''Vegeta:''' OF COURSE NOT, I'M F***ING EVIL!"
** More [[CardCarryingVillain Card Carrying Villainy]] from Vegeta:
--->'''Vegeta:''' Hey Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken?\\
'''Goku:''' (dazed) ... Huh?\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[CrossingTheLineTwice CHRISTOPHER REEVE!]] (crushes Goku's legs)\\
'''Goku:''' (in agony) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH, [[DudeNotFunny that was in terrible taaaaaaste]]!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Don't care! Evil!
* The entire Kaio-ken running gag.
-->'''Vegeta:''' I'm going to obliterate you, and the rest of this planet myself with my own two-\\
'''Goku:''' KAIO-KEN!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Kaio-what? ([[TalkToTheFist Punched repeatedly in the face]], before breaking away the combo with a kick to the chin) Okay... not bad... but still nothing compared to me!
** And again.
--->'''Vegeta:''' I told you Kakarot! There's no way you can measure up to an elite like me! You're fighting a losing battle here. You might as well just surrender this pathetic planet now and-\\
'''Goku:''' KAIOKEN TIMES THREE!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Times wha-(PUNCH) GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! (sent flying and crashes into a mountain) This... proves... nothing...
** [[RuleOfThree Once more]], during the [[BeamOWar Galick Gun/Kamehameha struggle]]:
--->'''Vegeta:''' This is the end Kakarot! You don't stand a chance! I put all my power into this attack! Now perish... WITH THE REST OF YOUR PATHETIC WORLD!\\
'''Goku:''' KAIO-KEN...\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[OhCrap Noooo...]]\\
'''Goku:''' ... TIMES...\\
'''Vegeta:''' No, no, no...\\
'''Goku:''' ...FOOOOUUUUR...\\
'''Vegeta:''' Nononononononono-(gets carried away by the blast)-[[AtomicFBomb FUUUUUUUUUUU-]]
*** Meanwhile, Back at the Plot:
---->'''Vegeta:''' [[AtomicFBomb -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK]].
* Vegeta getting hit in the face with a Solar Flare.
-->"AAAAH. My eyes! Oh God, it's like walking in on Freeza in the shower. Wait a minute, Freeza's always naked - AAAAAAGGGGHHH!
** [[spoiler: This becomes even funnier in episode 15, when Dodoria is hit by a Solar Flare... And you can see a split second shot of Freeza's face photoshopped on a picture of a muscular man in the shower.]]
*** Also in general Vegeta getting hit in the eye.
---->'''Vegeta:''' Again with the f***ing eye!!"\\
'''Vegeta:''' The eye! The eye! Why is always that goddamned eye!!??"
* This bit before Vegeta's transformation:
-->'''Vegeta:''' Now watch, Kakarot, as your life becomes inconsequential, as I reveal my GIANT MONKEY-\\
'''Crowd:''' (gasp)\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[SubvertedTrope FORM!]]\\
'''Crowd:''' (sighs of relief)\\
'''Random Guy in Crowd:''' Thank god, I thought he meant [[LampshadeHanging penis]]!
* Krillin receiving the weakened spirit bomb.
-->'''Goku:''' Krillin, come here. I have something to give you.
''' Krillin:''' Your last will and testament?\\
'''Goku:''' No, it's energy from the entire world. It's our last hope.\\
'''Krillin:''' And you’re giving it to me?\\
'''Goku:''' I'm kind of out of options. (Goku gives Krillin the spirit bomb)\\
'''Krillin:''' "Holy crap! So this is what being important feels like!"
** And then he muses on the Spirit Bomb.
-->'''Krillin''': ''(thinking)'' Wow! Such power, from every living being on the planet. I can feel it all surging inside of me. Every man, woman, and child. This, this is Earth's very essence! {{beat}} ''(out loud)'' BOO-YAH, MOTHER-F*CKER! ''(throws it)''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Episodes 11-20]]
[[WMG:Episode 11]]
* Gohan's extreme [[CallingTheOldManOut calling out]] to his mother, Chi-Chi in episode 11:
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' Well, all I know is that my little boy isn't going anywhere.
--> '''Gohan:''' Actually... Mom... I'm going to Namek.
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' (strained) As... I... Said. My little boy (now angry) ISN'T... GOING... ANYWHERE!!
--> '''Gohan:''' But, mom! Piccolo died for me! It's my responsibility!
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' Gohan, ''I'' am your ''mother!'' And as your ''mother,'' you will listen to me and you will do as I say!
--> '''Gohan:''' But that's not...
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' Did ''you'' carry around a baby in you for nine months... '''WITH A MAN WHO LITERALLY THOUGHT YOU HAD CINNA-BUNS HIDDEN IN YOUR SHIRT?!'''
--> '''Gohan:''' But I...
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' Now you are going to lay in this hospital bed! Recover like a normal boy! And then, you're going right back to your advanced trig classes, '''AND THAT IS THE LAST WE WILL...!'''
--> '''Gohan:''' (pissed) '''''SHUT YOUR F**KING FACE!!!'''''
--> ''{{beat}}''
--> '''Gohan:''' (calm) I'll be going to Namek now.
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' (calm, too) You'd best. (slams door as she leaves the hospital)
* Everything Mr. Popo says in episode 11.
** Goku's failed attempt at borrowing Popo's magic flying carpet.
---> '''Mr. Popo:''' "MAKIN' TOAST! [...] BUTTERIN' TOAST!"
* Season 2 gives us [[spoiler: Goku's reaction to Popo.]]
* Mr. Popo's explanation for why simply shouting his name makes the spaceship do whatever he wants it to do at the time.
---> '''Mr. Popo:''' It just knows better.
** Turns out it works for everyone else too.
[[WMG: Episode 12]]
* Krillin's inner monologue at the start of the episode:
--> '''Krillin:''' Krillin's Log, stardate...uh...November 28th. We've been flying for two weeks now, and I'm starting to feel very tensed up. Not just for being trapped on the ship of course, but from Bulma walking around in nothing ''but her underwear!'' I would relieve this tension, but I've had no alone time '''SINCE THE TOILET KEEPS SCREAMING AT ME!!''' I'm not sure how much longer I can last...
--> '''Bulma:''' Krillin, are you saying something?
--> '''Krillin:''' Nothing! <muttering> God-damned <beep>tease!!
* Vegeta realizing how Freeza found out about the dragon balls.
--> '''Cui:''' The scouter was on the entire time!
--> '''Vegeta:''' That's impossible, my transmitter was off the entire time! Whose scouter was... (eyes focus, cuts away to him riding a space pod screaming:) '''[[SpannerInTheWorks GODDAMMIT NAPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]]'''!
* When Krillin hears the [[spoiler:fake]] Namekians talk about their penises:
---> '''Krillin:''' Wait a second! ''[[BrickJoke Namekians don't HAVE penises!]]''
[[WMG: Episode 13]]
* Roshi, on the telephone: "Could you speak up? I'm not wearing any pants."
* Every line uttered by Krillin in this episode.
--> (''After successfully hiding from the onslaught of Freeza's forces.'')
--> (after being asked several times if he felt Freeza and his men's power levels) Krillin: Yes Gohan, I noticed! On the bright side, I [[PottyFailure no longer]] [[BringMyBrownPants have to pee anymore]].
* After dealing with Bulma being a total cocktease on the ship, Krillin... ''releases'' some tension and takes ten whole minutes for it. When Bulma goes into the cave to set up camp...
--> '''Bulma:''' "Oh God, it's everywhere!!"
* The final moments of the episode, narrated by LittleKuriboh:
-->'''Narrator:''' A new evil has revealed its face. Who are these mysterious enemies, and do Gohan and Krillin stand a chance? The answers to these questions will be revealed... right now. Zarbon, Dodoria, Freeza, and Oh My, No.
-->'''Krillin:''' Wait, wha-"
-->(credits)
[[WMG: Episode 14]]
* In Episode 14...
-->'''Krillin:''' [[NobodyHereButUsBirds QUACK!!]]
** Oh, the joke goes much farther than that. Originally, in order to avoid being caught by Dodoria, Krillin pretends to be a space duck by yelling "Quack!" over and over. After being caught, he yells a parting quack as he and Gohan take Dende away. Much later on, Goku arrives on Namek. As he goes on about the planet's beauty and splendor, he hears Krillin's anguished cries of pain... and thinks it's a space duck. He only catches on to the plight when Krillin gives out a pathetic "Quack".
*** When Freeza appears after Porunga is summoned, Krillin tries to fool him into believing he is a Space Duck... While he's standing directly in front of Freeza.
---->'''Freeza:''' Well Vegeta, you've finally pulled it off. You've managed to dash my hopes entirely... With some help, I see...
---->'''Krillin:''' QUACK!
---->'''Gohan:''' Krillin, seriously not helping.
---->'''Krillin:''' I can try...
* Every response from Freeza and co. when the Namekian villagers did something to anger them.
-->'''Namekian Elder: ''' "Why are you here? Why are you killing our people?"
-->'''Freeza: ''' "Well I was just in the neighborhood, thought this was a lovely place for a summer home- Oh what the f*** do you think I'm here for!?"
-->'''Namekian Elder: ''' "Our trees?"
-->'''Freeza: ''' "...Zarbon, two or three more."
-->'''Zarbon: ''' "Two or three more?"
-->'''Freeza: ''' [[RuleOfThree "Two or three more."]]
* Freeza making a mental list of every heroic speech he hears.
-->'''Namekian:''' We're going... to... f*** your face!
-->'''Freeza:''' [laughs] Oh my! ''Twelve''.
* The muffin button. That is all.
-->'''Goku:''' This ship is awesome! Now, where's that button that makes blueberry muffins?
-->'''Dr. Briefs:''' There is no button like that. I never even considered it.
-->'''Goku:''' Are you sure? It'd be really nice to wake in the morning, push a button, and have muffins. That'd be great. Wink wink?
-->'''Dr. Briefs:''' Dammit, there is no muffin button!
-->'''Goku:''' Darn.
---> '''Krillin:''' Breathe, Gohan! You're a leaf. A leaf in a calm stream!
---> '''Gohan:''' (''pissed'') F██K THE STREAM!
[[WMG: Episode 15]]
* Goku has blasted off into space.
-->'''Dr. Briefs:''' You're incredibly lucky I already set the coordinates for Namek, but you, (''Goku has a muffin'') you... Where did you get that muffin?
-->'''Goku:''' Muffin button.
-->'''Dr. Briefs:''' But...I...never installed a muffin button.
-->'''Goku:''' Then where did I get this muffin...?
* Vegeta's reaction to [[spoiler: Dodoria]]'s true gender:
--> '''Vegeta:''' [[FlatWhat What]].
--> '''[[spoiler: Dodoria]]:''' I said I ''am'' a woman!!
--> '''*{{beat}}*'''
--> '''Vegeta:''' '''WHAT!?!?!'''
** What compounds the hilarity is that the second "What" sounds like (and probably is) Lanipator's real voice.
*** And this:
----> '''[[spoiler: Dodoria]]:''' And that's why I was considered the most beautiful, '''and''' fertile, woman on my home planet. Before Freeza blew it up.
----> '''Vegeta:''' He tends to do that. Also, [[{{Squick}} huuuugh.]]
----> Later...
----> '''[[spoiler: Dodoria]]:''' W-w-wait! You and I... we could team up against Freeza! Rule the Universe! ... As husband and wife.
[[WMG: Episode 16]]
* The beginning of episode 16. The audience knows what's about to happen, and the happy music and cheerful outlook of the Namekians make the coming slaughter of them by Vegeta all the more hilarious.
* The flashback of Freeza and Zarbon's conversation in which Freeza observes how badly things have been going on Namek.
-->'''Freeza''': You know, Zarbon, I'm starting to think that my people don't know what I pay them for.
-->'''Zarbon''': You ''don't'' pay us.
-->'''Freeza''': (hurriedly) Allow them to live for. I mean first we lose...what was his name?
-->'''Zarbon''': Kiwi?
-->'''Freeza''': Ah, Kiwi. Then we lose all of our scouters, and now Dodoria's dead? I'm sorry, but if this sh*t goes any further south, we're going to hit [[SpaceX Space Mexico]].
-->'''Zarbon''': What is it you want me to do, Lord Freeza?
-->'''Freeza''': What I want YOU to do is pull up your frilly stockings, tighten your thong, and stop being such a...
-->'''Vegeta''': [back to the present] Pansy!
-->'''Zarbon''': Wha-? [bumps into Vegeta] Vegeta, how dare you ram into me [[DoubleEntendre while I'm thinking about Lord Freeza and my thong!]]
-->'''Vegeta''': Yeah, just going to ignore that entirely.
* Anything Guru said in the episode 16...
-->'''Guru:''' I have a bitch of an itch on my left ass chee...''[sees Krillin]'' Naaaaaail. There is an albino Namekian in here. Kill it like the rest.
-->'''Krillin:''' Actually sir, I'm from Earth.
-->'''Guru:''' ...Kill it like the rest.
-->[...]
-->'''Guru:''' [Take the Dragon Ball]. Just don't steal the TV.
-->'''Nail:''' Sir, we... we don't have a television.
-->'''Guru:''' ...Naaaaail. Gather the rest of the Dragon Balls and wish for a plasma TV.
-->'''Nail:''' Sir, that would be a grievous misuse of their power.
-->'''Guru:''' I'm about to misuse my hand upside your heeeeaaaad!
-->[...]
-->'''Guru:''' So, the son of Katat has passed. Unfortunate.
-->'''Krillin:''' We just called him 'Kami'.
-->'''Guru:''' Oh, so he calls himself 'God'. Pretentious prick. Nail.
-->'''Nail:''' What?
-->'''Guru:''' I shall henceforth be known as: Super Kami.
-->'''Nail:''' Yes, Super Kami.
-->'''Guru:''' No, wait- Super Kami Guru.
-->'''Nail:''' Can I just call you Guru for short?
-->'''Guru:''' Super Kami Guru allows this.
* This exchange:
--> '''Krillin:''' Aw, you made a friend, Little Green? Oh, I know, I'm gonna call you "Big Green"!
--> '''Nail:''' Call me that again and I'll snap your neck.
--> '''Krillin:''' With that attitude, I don't think you should be friends with him, Little Green.
--> '''Nail:''' Listen, I don't care where you come from or who you are, I will not put up with such disrespe-
--> '''Guru:''' BIG GREEEEN! Get in here...
--> '''Nail:''' (irritated) Oh, good... goddamnit!
[[WMG: Episode 17]]
* From episode 17:
--> '''Vegeta:''' I've got a lovely bunch of dragon balls, dodododoodo, here they are all sitting in a bunch, do doo do. One Star, Two Star, all as big as my head! Give em a toss, a planet across, that's how Vegeta wins BU-BYE!
* And after that, him hiding in the water, complete with submarine noises:
--> '''Vegeta:''' Later, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitches.]] *awoooga! awoooga!*
* The glorious return of Ghost Nappa:
--> '''Ghost Nappa:''' (whistles) Is this thing on? Is it on? (tuning noises) OK, there we go! A-HA-HEM!! You are now thinking about what Zarbon did to you while you were unconscious. Have fun with that.
* Freeza and Zarbon's InnocentInnuendo.
--> '''Freeza:''' Ginyu, quick; double time! Zarbon really screwed the pooch on this one!
--> '''Zarbon:''' Lord Freeza! Vegeta's really giving us a pounding!
--> '''Freeza:''' I'm coming Zarbon! Quick, grab my balls!
--> '''Ginyu Force:''' (Laughter)
* Krillin (and later Gohan): "I got a Dragon Ball!"
* Krillin TemptingFate pretty badly.
--> '''Krillin:''' "At least we have a Dragon Ball!"
--> *Vegeta lands*
--> '''Vegeta:''' "Hi there! I'm taking your Dragon Ball"
* Bulma [[DistractedByTheSexy being distracted]] by Zarbon.
--> '''Bulma:''' Oh my God he's so hot! I just want to grab him and --
-->(Cut to Goku doing upside-down crunches)
-->'''Goku:''' -sixty nine, seventy, seventy-
-->'''Vegeta:''' -one time you've defeated me, Zarbon. And that's one time too many.
** Then Bulma's reaction to transformed Zarbon: [[KillItWithFire KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!]]
* Goku: "I'm gonna beat someone up!" and "I'm gonna beat him up!" and [[{{Squee}} "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"]]
* Zarbon is [[spoiler:straight]] and acts really surprised if someone calls him [[spoiler:gay]]. And even so, Zarbon still acts [[spoiler:like he's gay]].
-->'''Freeza:''' Oh... and all this time I could've sworn you were- ...never mind.
-->'''Zarbon:''' What? You thought I was single?
-->'''Freeza:''' Well, no, I just... I thought you were into... you know, it really doesn't matter.
-->'''Zarbon:''' Well it matters to me, because, frankly it sounds like you thought I was-
-->'''Random Minion:''' Lord Freeza! Vegeta's broken out of the healing-[[KilledMidSentence TAAAAANK! (dies by ki blast)]]
-->'''Freeza:''' Oh no, that minion died. Could you go fix that? [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain We'll continue this conversation never.]]
** Vegeta's final words to Zarbon as he prepares to [[spoiler:shoot a hole through his stomach]]. Doubly funny due to Zarbon's confused expression:
--->'''Vegeta:''' Let me put this in a way you'll understand; I'm about to blow my load all over your insides.
--->'''Zarbon:''' What the-
--->'''Vegeta:''' -No homo. ''[Va-'''VOOM''']''.
*** And then what he says after he dies:
---->'''Vegeta:''' '''F'''reaky '''A'''lien '''G'''enotype.
** After Freeza and Zarbon find that Vegeta has escaped:
---> '''Zarbon:''' Lord Freeza, I found a note!
---> '''Freeza:''' Let me see that! * reads note* It just says "Dear Freeza", and it's a picture of a [[InherentlyFunnyWords butt]].
---> '''Zarbon:''' ...Can I see it, Lord Freeza?
---> '''Freeza:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis VEGETA. DRAGON BALLS. NOW!]]
* This scene, especially the expressions Zarbon and Freeza have at the end of it.
-->'''Freeza:''' '''''APPULE'''''?! You left ''Appule'' here?!
-->'''Zarbon:''' Well I thought he could handle it!
-->'''Freeza:''' Appule couldn't handle a shot of raspberry schnapps, much less Vegeta!
* King Kai's telepathic "call" to Goku.
-->'''King Kai:''' Hello Goku? Do you hear me? I swear to God, if this is GeorgeTakei again, I'm gonna shove a brick up the Verizon guy's ass!
-->'''Goku:''' King Kai?
** King Kai then proceeds to order Goku to stay away from Freeza, warning him about his incredible power. Goku gets more and more excited about the prospect of fighting him until King Kai makes Goku ''promise'' not to do so.
--->'''Goku:''' Oh all right. I absolutely ''promise'' not to...click beeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
--->'''King Kai:''' What the-
--->'''Goku:'''...eeeeeeee *gasp* eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
--->'''King Kai:''' He... he hung up on me! How the hell did he even do that?!? Damn it, I'll call him back! *dialing sounds* Goku, I swear to God I will ride your ass on this one!
--->'''GeorgeTakei:''' '''Oh my!'''
--->'''King Kai:''' DAMN IT, TAKEI!
* The exchange between Zarbon and Appule:
-->'''Zarbon:''' Why isn't he naked?
-->'''Appule:''' Luckily we... [[FlatWhat what]].
-->'''Zarbon:''' In the healing tank. I always thought you needed to be nude.
-->'''Appule:''' Wh-... why would you think that?
-->'''Zarbon:''' You know, to... absorb all the healing... juices.
-->'''Appule:''' ...
-->'''Zarbon:''' ...Well, it looks like you have everything under control here! (quickly takes his leave)
-->'''Appule:''' ...Freaks me the f*** out.
* Guru telling Dende how old he is in the stinger:
-->'''Dende:''' Guru sir, I have a question.
-->'''Guru:''' Ask away.
-->'''Dende:''' You've been around for so long. Just how old are you?
-->'''Guru:''' I am this many. [doesn't move]
-->'''Dende:''' You didn't raise your hand.
-->'''Guru:''' THAT'S HOW OLD I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!
[[WMG: Episode 18]]
* In episode 18: Vegeta discovers the Dragonball he hid away is missing. [[TheScream This]] [[{{Understatement}} irritates]] [[UpToEleven him.]]
** On that same note, the fact that his scream can be heard ''by Goku in space, King Yemma in the afterlife'' (who mistakes it for his ex-wife) and '''TRUNKS TWENTY YEARS IN THE FUTURE ON ANOTHER PLANET IN AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE.'''
--->'''Trunks:''' Daddy?
** Then there's his InternalMonologue before TheScream.
--->'''Vegeta:''' God, I love it when a plan comes together! Took some time, effort, and lots of bodies, but now it's mine. Immortality is my bitch! Now, it should be right here...riiiight here... Where the hell is it? It couldn't have gone anywhere... All right, I'm going to close my eyes, and when I open them up it's going to be right here- it's not here. Why isn't it here!? I don't get it! Who could've-?! The kid! But, how could he have found it, it was- Wait. That watch...that watch wasn't a watch at all! It was some kind of Dragon Ball locator! Which means...''which means...!''
--->'''Ghost Nappa:''' He took the Dragon Ball.
* The whole "I need an adult" running gag:
-->'''Gohan:''' So, uh, can I help you?
-->'''Vegeta:''' (gently puts his hand on Gohan's face) No... But maybe I can help you.
-->'''Gohan:''' Uh... I need an adult...
-->'''Vegeta:''' I am an adult. (Knees him in the stomach)
-->'''Vegeta:''' By the way, I only hit you because I have pent up aggression against your father. Take that. (flies away)
** Later...
--->'''Krillin:''' Gohan, I'll be getting you to Guru's now.
--->'''Gohan:''' What? Why?
--->'''Krillin:''' So the old man can touch you, and pull things out of you that you never knew you had.
--->'''Gohan:''' ...I need an adult?
--->'''Krillin:''' I am an adult.
** Later still...
--->'''Guru:''' Now, relax as I reach deep inside you and grab hold of your essence.
--->'''Gohan:''' I... need an adul-
--->'''Guru:''' '''''I AM AN ADUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-''''' (cuts away)
*** While it doesn't feature the "I need an adult" phrase, the joke leading up to it is pretty hilarious too.
----> '''Gohan:''' Mr. Guru, sir? My friend Krillin told me that you could help us by... touching me.
----> '''Guru:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice Do I look]] [[AcceptableTargets Catholic]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice to you?]]
* This exchange between Nail and Vegeta:
-->'''Nail:''' Hello? Can I ... help you with something?
-->'''Vegeta:''' Yeah, the first thing you can do is go die, save me the trouble.
-->'''Nail:''' Ooh! Ooh! Is this really happening? 'cause I really hope it is.
-->'''Vegeta:''' (laughs) Oh trust me, you don't want any of what I am now.
-->'''Nail:''' Then come on, bring on [[TheNapoleon all four feet of you]]. Or should I count your stupid hair?
-->'''Vegeta:''' Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal slug.
-->'''Nail:''' Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal ''bitch''.
* Krillin's ReasonYouSuckSpeech to Bulma in Episode 18.
-->'''Krillin:''' (In response to why he didn't stop Vegeta from taking a Dragon Ball) I don't know! Maybe you could've '''''bitched''''' at him! How 'bout that? That's all you appear to be good for these days! Huh? Used your '''''bitch fu''''' on him? Bulma, the mistress of '''''bitching''''', that's what they should call you!
** After the Vegeta and Gohan scene:
--->'''Krillin:''' Seriously! Five ancient sages of '''''bitchdom''''' all gathered one day on the peaks of Mount '''''Bitch''''' to proclaim your birth! And a hundred years later, when all the '''''bitch''''' stars have aligned, you were born and made everybody's life around you a living hell, because '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis YOU! ARE SUCH! A BITCH!]]'''''
* The long-awaited arrival of the Ginyu Force:
-->'''Vegeta:''' Besides Freeza, I'm the most powerful being on this planet! [[TemptingFate Bar none.]]
-->'''Guru:''' Heeeey. Just thought I'd let you all know I detect several high power levels approaching the planet.
-->'''Vegeta:''' ''What!?'' Several high power levels?
-->'''Guru:''' There are five of them in total.
-->'''Vegeta:''' ''Five of them!?''
-->'''Guru:''' And they're all '''INCREEEEEDIBLY FLAMBOYANT!'''
-->'''Vegeta:''' [[OhCrap OH GOD!]] IT'S ''THEM''!!
* Vegeta after he finally catches up with Krillin. He can't speak coherently, his eyes are bloodshot, and he's yelling at Ghost Nappa.
-->'''Vegeta:''' I-am-here-for-''it''.
-->'''Krillin:''' For what?
-->'''Vegeta:''' Dragon- '''ball'''. I- need- that Dragonball. ''Give it to me''. The-one-you-took. I Need my wish.
-->'''Krillin:''' (''scared'') Are... you okay?
-->'''Ghost Nappa:''' I think your rage broke Vegeta.
-->'''Vegeta:''' '''''SHUT UP GHOST OF NAPPA!'''''
-->'''Krillin:''' What was that?
-->'''Vegeta:''' '''I'MNOTCRAZY!!''' '''''YOU'RE''''' CRAZY! Especially ''you'', Nappa!
-->'''Ghost Nappa:''' [[HappyDays Eeeeey!]]
-->'''Krillin:''' Who are you talking t-
-->'''Vegeta:''' ''Dragon''ball! ''Hand'' now, please!
** Perhaps more funny is the constant "drug withdrawal" DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything during the above.
* When Vegeta regains his wits, Krillin blabs about Guru's ability to release untapped potential.
-->'''Vegeta:''' I'm gonna go pay him a... uh... what do you call it?
-->'''Krillin:''' A visit?
-->'''Vegeta:''' A beating! That's it! Gunna go pay him a beating.
* The entire end of Episode 18, with Goku trying to think of what to drink.
-->'''Beer:''' No, it's too early to get crunk.\\
'''Powerthirst:''' Ehh, energy drinks just don't do it for me anymore.\\
'''Peanuts:''' Ha ha, I can't drink these, these are nuts!\\
'''TFS Soda:''' This looks delicious! And it's high in Calcium! ''Team Four Star Soda''!
* Every time Guru shouts at Nail, especially when Nail is preparing to pulverize Vegeta.
-->'''Guru:''' Naaaaaail!!! Stop making out with your boyfriend! I can hear it from here! It sounds like (gagging and slurping noises)
-->'''Nail:''' (pissed) ''Thank you, lord Guru!''
* When Gohan arrives with Vegeta's Dragonball in episode 18:
-->'''Gohan:''' You guys, I think we should move to a new location.
-->'''Krillin:''' Why? What's wrong with this place?
-->'''Gohan:''' Because we have ten minutes before Vegeta finds out I stole this (Dragonball)
-->'''Krillin:''' (Terrified, high-pitched whimpering noises as Gohan smiles sweetly)
* Bulma hating the fact that she's always getting abandoned on Namek.
-->'''Bulma:''' Oh no, no no ''no!'' I am not letting you abandon me here again! Those bitches on Lifetime might put up with it, but not me!
-->'''Krillin:''' Bulma, you're right. You have been very helpful and very patient with us. So in return...we'relettingyouwatchthedragonballbye! (''He and Gohan fly off'')
-->'''Bulma:''' ''I will kill you both in your sleep!''
[[WMG: Episode 19]]
* The Wheel of Death routine from episode 19. Even funnier because this is exactly what the Ginyu Force would do with enough time and preparation. Then there's Vegeta's reaction.
-->'''Vegeta:''' When did you have time to set this up?! Is- is that a camera? What kind of sadistic retard watches this crap?!
-->'''Freeza:''' Love this show.
* Vegeta sounding like Advertising/TheManYourManCouldSmellLike.
-->'''Vegeta''' Look at your men, now back to me, now look back at your men, ''now back to me.'' I am not your men! [[FlippingTheBird I'm flipping you off!]] Look at the ground, back to me. Where is the Dragonball? It's gone! I threw it! And there's not a damn thing you can-\\
(''Burter returns the Dragon Ball to Ginyu'')\\
'''Burter:''' Here you go, boss.\\
'''Ginyu:''' Thank you, Burter.\\
'''Burter:''' It's what I do!\\
'''Vegeta:''' But... I... ''I chucked that son of a bitch as hard as I could''!\\
'''Burter:''' Oh, you can't beat my speed! I'm the fastest in the universe!\\
'''Krillin:''' ThatsWhatSheSaid!
* While Vegeta's spouting off various ways of saying they're going to die:
--> '''Super Kami Guru:''' Naaaaaaaiiillll! Slap him.
-->(Slap is heard)
-->'''Krillin:''' Ow!
-->'''Super Kami Guru:''' Thank you.
** Even more hilarious from behind the scenes since both Krillin and Vegeta are voiced by the same guy.
* Vegeta's reaction to Krillin deciding to call them "Team Three Star."
-->'''Vegeta:''' [[FlatWhat What.]]
-->'''Krillin:''' Well, we're a '''TEAM''', there's '''THREE''' of us, and the Dragon Balls have '''STARS''' on them! Team Three Star!
-->'''Vegeta:''' That just makes me want to kill you even more, and you're ''STILL'' only the second most annoying bald person I ever had the displeasure to work with.
-->'''Krillin:''' Team Three Star, MOVE OUT! *flies away*
-->'''Vegeta:''' I swear to god...! *flies after him*
** Later in the same episode, after Krillin has messed up again.
--->'''Ginyu:''' Supposedly there are seven (Dragon Balls) in total, if my report is correct. And the other five are-?
--->'''Krillin:''' (scared, shouts out quickly) RIGHT-BEHIND-YOU!
--->'''Vegeta:''' My '''GOD''' man, you just cannot-!
--->'''Krillin:''' (still running his mouth quickly) [=ShutupwhenImscared=],[=Iknow=]! [[ShownTheirWork IoncegotacrushonalittleindianboythatIthoughtwasagirl]].
--->'''Vegeta:''' Please kill him. ''Seriously'', he won't be missed.
* Bulma's [[BlackComedyRape attempted rape]] [[AllJustADream fantasy]] with [[ShipTease Vegeta]] should also count. It's CrossesTheLineTwice at best.
-->'''Vegeta:''' (with a menacing tone) Hello, Earth woman.
--> (''Bulma stammers with fear.'')
--> '''Vegeta:''' You know what I want. Now, give it to me!
--> '''Bulma:''' (scared) The... the Dragonball's right there.
--> '''Vegeta:''' Oh, I'm not here for the Dragonball.
--> '''Bulma:''' Wha... what?
--> '''Vegeta:''' '''''Spread 'em!'''''
--> (''Bulma, with fear, prepares herself, then falls down back to reality as Krillin unties the Dragonball to her foot.'')
--> '''Krillin:''' (with a quick tone) Takin' the Dragonball! Bitch at me later! (flies off)
--> '''Vegeta:''' Your hair looks stupid! (flies off)
--> '''Gohan:''' Sorry, Bulma! (flies off)
--> '''Bulma:''' '''''ALL OF MY HATE!'''''
* On the way to where Vegeta has the Dragon Balls, we get this exchange between Gohan and Vegeta:
-->'''Gohan:''' Vegeta, if you don't mind me asking, what are we in for?
-->'''Vegeta:''' You ever watch PowerRangers?
-->'''Gohan:''' No.
-->'''Vegeta:''' [[{{TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles}} Ninja Turtles?]]
-->'''Gohan:''' No.
-->'''Vegeta:''' SailorMoon?
-->'''Gohan:''' No.
-->'''Vegeta:''' [[{{BigBadBeetleborgs}} Beetleborgs?]]
-->'''Gohan:''' No.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Series/VRTroopers?
-->'''Gohan:''' No.
-->'''Vegeta:''' [[{{SuperhumanSamuraiSyber-Squad}} Samurai Syber-Squad]]?
-->'''Gohan:''' No.
-->'''Vegeta:''' [[{{Beat}} ...]] TattooedTeenageAlienFightersFromBeverlyHills?
-->'''Gohan:''' Oh yeah!
-->'''Vegeta:''' Goddamn it!
** For a meta CMOF, try to look up videos of that last show on YouTube: chances are that you'll find several comments from people who thought [[AluminiumChristmasTrees TFS was making this up]].
* Or when Vegeta tells Krillin to destroy the Dragon ball in the same episode, [[HilarityEnsues Krillin fails, while Vegeta keeps screaming at him to hit it harder.]]
* Krillin on the receiving end of [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventure Za Warudo.]]
-->'''Krillin:''' Gohan! Did you see? His power, he can-!
-->'''Gohan:''' Stop time?
-->'''Krillin:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Summon steamrollers!]]
-->'''Gohan:''' (dumbfounded) Y-You sure?
-->'''Krillin:''' Positive!
* Vegeta's hurricane of {{Unusual Euphemism}}s as TheStinger of Episode 19.
--> '''Vegeta:''' "Son of a g[[spoiler:um]]-[[spoiler:chewing]] fu[[spoiler:n]]k monster! Why the f[[spoiler:ruit]] does all this fu[[spoiler:nny]] s[[spoiler:tuff]] happen to me? F[[spoiler:orget]] my life! Always surrounded by m[[spoiler:iserable]] f[[spoiler:ail]]ing c[[spoiler:lods]]! It's like this whole world just likes to bend me over and f[[spoiler:ind]] me in the A[[spoiler:lp]]s! Like I'm some sort of sh[[spoiler:lock]] receptacle! Well as far as I care, these miserable c[[spoiler:ow]]s can have a f[[spoiler:ancy barbecue]], WITH A '''GODDAMN PIG'''!"
--> '''Ginyu:''' Jeice, do you MIND??
--> '''Jeice:''' Sorry captain, this scouter's acting a bit shonky.
* Go Space Broncos!
* [[OhCrap "Why can't I feel my everything?"]]
** Guldo getting dog treats thrown at him.
** Or Vegeta's advice to Krillin on how to fight him:
--->'''Vegeta:''' Throw dog treats at him.
--->'''Krillin:''' How will that help?
--->'''Vegeta:''' I'll find it ''hilarious.''
** And finally, Guldo's FacingTheBulletsOneLiner, as he realises he is dying, and begins to contemplate his afterlife and what it all means... [[spoiler:before Vegeta throws another dog treat at him.]]
--->'''Guldo:''' ...I '''''f***ing hate you'''''.
--->'''Vegeta:''' I know. '''''[VA-VOOM]'''''
* "Sure is [[UnusualEuphemism Zarbon]] in here."
[[WMG: Episode 20]]
* The Ginyu Force mourns Guldo.
-->'''Jeice:''' Oi! Oi, is that Guldo over there? Is he dead?
-->'''Recoome:''' How tragic.
-->{{Beat}}
-->'''Burter:''' Not telling the captain, 1-2-3, not it!
-->'''Recoome:''' Not it!
-->'''Jeice:''' Not it- Oh, ''wankers.''
** [[spoiler:Becomes a little HarsherInHindsight when Jeice has to tell Ginyu that the ENTIRE TEAM except the two of them are dead.]]
* Recoome's BadassBoast.
* After Recoome's first BadassBoast:
--> '''Vegeta:''' Wrestling's fake. (boos and jeers - [[TheSimpsons and a "you suck-diddly-uck"]]) Oh, go to hell, all of you! And if it means getting this damn thing over with, then I'm just going to have to kill your ass! Now hit ''my'' music.
--> *''Anime/DragonBallGT'' ThemeTuneRap plays*
--> '''Vegeta:''' Oh, the f*** with this!
* While it might be funny only to wrestling fans, Jeice using "[[JimRoss slobberknocker]]" and "[[MichaelCole vintage]]" while commentating is quite hilarious.
** And, of course, "Piledriver! '''PILEDRIVER!!'''"
* This bit after Krillin got owned for the 12th time:
-->'''Krillin:''' HELLO GOHAN, HAVE YOU DONE YOUR HOMEWORK BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, CHI-CHI WILL '''''KICK''''' MY ASS!
-->'''Gohan:''' Ah, are you okay?
-->'''Krillin:''' Yeah, seems he threw my nervous system out of whack, there. Can't quite feel the pain!
-->(''Beat'')
-->'''Krillin:''' There it is! AAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOWWWWW...
* Dende feeling sad that he's one of the few Namekians alive.
-->'''Guru:''' (monotone singing) Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited you. Party pooper. Party pooper.\\
'''Nail:''' Lord Guru...\\
'''Guru:''' WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE.
* "Silly Vegeta! [[NoSell The only thing Recoome sells]], is merchandise!" *Cue images of merchandise with Recoome on them popping up, including a vibrator with his head*
* After Gohan and Krillin have saved Vegeta by forcing Recoome's mouth shut while he was using his BreathWeapon:
-->'''Recoome:''' (''his mouth is all messed up'') Can Recoome get a mirror? He feels like he might have chipped a tooth.
-->'''Krillin:''' (''offscreen'') Dear God, what happened to your face?!
* The entire Spacey's skit. It's good food. InSpace.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Episodes 21-30]]
[[WMG:Episode 21]]
* "WE GET IT! YOU'RE FROM [[SpaceX SPACE AUSTRALIA]]!!!"
* Episode 21, Jeice getting punched in the face over and over again is enough to make you fall down laughing.
** Especially when he tries to think about what Ginyu said to do in that situation... only for Goku to punch him again mid-flashback. Jeice then holds his face and screams "Oh, he cut off the captain!"
** Jeice can't rely on his squad mates either:
--->'''Jeice:''' Alright, you bastard! Prepare to face the wrath of the Ginyu For*punch* AHH! You goddamn wanker! You punched me right in the*punch* Ah, he did it again! *punch* Ahh! Stop it! Stop it! *punch* '''PISS!!!''' Oh... what would the captain do in this situation?!\\
'''Ginyu:''' Jeice, if you ever find yourself being punched repeatedly in the face, always remember to*punch*\\
'''Jeice:''' Oh, he cut off the captain!\\
'''Goku:''' So, are you going to ''dodge'' any of these?\\
'''Jeice:''' Ohhh, THAT'S what the Captain*punch* ''BURTER! SUPPORT!!''\\
'''Burter:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Well, you've got very lovely hair, you're a beautiful shade of red, and honestly, you're the only guy I can rely on on this team.]]\\
'''Jeice:''' I MEANT PUNCH 'IM, YA DAFT BASTARD!! AGGH! Oh, but thanks, you know? That really cheered me*punch*'' GOD, I THINK HE BROKE SOMETHING THAT TIME!!
** Jeice and Burter have a touching display of camaraderie, showing how good friends they are and promising to go out drinking once it’s all over, the music swells... and Goku one-shots Burter.
* Freeza's rant: "I can't believe we came all the way out here and spent a week in the [[SpaceX Space]] [[DeepSouth Boonies]] for nothing! Seriously, I'm surprised we didn't hear ''banjos'' on the way, because everyone is inbred and [[OnlySixFaces LOOKS THE F***ING SAME!]] Not to mention I lost Dodoria ''and'' Zarbon, the latter of whom spent 400 credits making long-distance calls to his [[spoiler: girlfriend]], WHO I AM CONVINCED IS NAMED CHUCK!"
* This.
-->'''Freeza:''' (''After Ginyu has brought him the Dragon balls and finished the Dance of Joy, which was authorized by Freeza's father) ''Now, let's wish me some immortality!
-->'''Ginyu:''' Not quite yet, Lord Freeza. Lastly, I must complete the "Daddy's Little Princess" dance!
-->'''Freeza:''' (''indignant'') My father would command no such thing!
-->'''Ginyu:''' You are correct, Lord Freeza!
-->'''Freeza:''' Very well.
-->'''Ginyu:''' It was your brother!
-->'''Freeza:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-
** After the Dragon Balls don't work.
--->'''Ginyu:''' Might I suggest the dance of cheering you up?
--->'''Freeza:''' ...proceed.
*** "And now, the Dance of Solitude!"
* After Goku arrives, Recoome is trying to get people to pay attention to him.
--> '''Recoome:''' Hey! Recoome was in the middle of a match here, so how about you-
--> '''Goku:''' Sir! I am talking to my son.
--> '''Recoome:''' Oh. Recoome apologizes. Wait, what am I apologizing for? RECOOME'S GONNA KILL YOU!!
* "You think that's bad? If you hit 'em hard enough you can play a song." Cue Vegeta playing the Tetris theme by repeatedly kneeing Burter in the throat.
* Vegeta's [[MassEffect Renegade Interrupt]].
* Gohan is fed a senzu bean. [[FinalFantasy A green 9999 appears over his head and the healing ding plays]].
* "Silly Gohan! Animals don't eat people - people eat animals! Silly Gohan!"
* Vegeta's excuse about being so beat up:
-->'''Goku:''' So Vegeta, what happened to you? Did you get beat up by this guy? (talking about Recoome)
-->'''Recoome:''' *groaning in pain*
-->'''Vegeta:''' (stammering) Uhhh no...I..umm...uh..
-->'''Ghost Nappa:''' You fell down some stairs.
-->'''Vegeta:''' I fell down some stairs.
-->'''Krillin:''' No you didn't, you-
-->'''Vegeta:''' Shut up before I throw you down a flight!
* [[MCHammer STOP! Goku time!]]
[[WMG: Episode 22]]
* Episode 22: Another great Guru line - "And so I tell him, 'I don't care who you are, now ''clean my jowls''!' ...And that was Nail's first day on the job." Then, after Guru unlocks Dende's potential, Dende leaves. Guru's response? '''"Thaaaat ''SLUUUUUUUUUTTT!!"'''''
* Also from 22:
-->'''Guru:''' NNAAAAAIIIILLLL! Do we have a visitor?\\
'''Nail:''' Yes sir.\\
'''Guru:''' NNNNAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIILLLLLL! Take his coat.\\
'''Freeza:''' I don't have a coat.\\
'''Nail:''' He doesn't have a coat sir. ''[looks at Freeza]'' And I believe this is the guy who basically just killed our whole race.\\
'''Guru:''' ''[sounding a bit annoyed]'' NNNNNNAAAAAAIIIIILLLLLLL. Don't take his coat.
** Later...
---> '''Freeza:''' I have the distinct feeling that you're going to be difficult.
---> '''Nail:''' Well Sir, if you're having a problem with our Customer Support you can call 1-800-eat-a-d*ck!
---> '''Super Kami Guru:''' We don't even have those!
* '''''KILLING CRABS! IN THE OCEAN!'''''
-->'''Krillin:''' When the dragon balls are all put together, the sky grows darker than the blackest void!
-->'''Popo:''' (on Earth) Hm?
* Later, when Freeza is going to Guru:
-->'''Freeza:''' (passing Dende) Good afternoon.
-->'''Dende:''' It's morning. (in Namekian) ''Douche.''
-->'''Freeza:''' Cute kid. Seems familiar.
* '''"Oh god. NATURAL LIGHT!"'''
* "I utilize these poses as a means of reinvigorating my men and raising morale. HOW DARE YOU MOCK THEM!"
* Ginyu meeting Goku
-->'''Jeice:''' That's him, Captain! That's the one who beat us up!
-->'''Ginyu:''' What?! Just look at HIS [[AnimeHair hair]]! He looks like he just got out of bed! For goodness sake, Jeice, he's even wearing pajamas.
-->'''Jeice:''' I swear it's him, sir. He picked us apart one by one. We never stood a cha--
-->''[Goku [[RunningGag punches Jeice]].]''
-->'''Jeice:''' OH, THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR!
-->'''Ginyu:''' Jeice, what have I told you?
* Nail again demonstrating his aptitude at passive-aggressive [[YouFightLikeACow trash talk]]:
-->'''Freeza:''' You see, I recently acquired what you people referred to as Dragon Balls, but I'm having trouble getting them to do what I want.
-->'''Nail:''' Did you try [[DoubleEntendre working the shaft?]]
-->'''Freeza:''' ...Classy.
** Which leads to...
--->'''Guru:''' Naaail, what does he want?
--->'''Nail:''' He wants to know how to use the Dragon Balls.
--->'''Guru:''' Did you tell him to try working the shaft?
--->'''Nail:''' Yes, Lord Guru.
--->'''Guru:''' Good work, Nail.
* After Freeza sees Guru for the first time:
-->'''Freeza:''' Good Lord! I was lead to believe your species survived almost entirely on water! How is he so fat?!
-->'''Guru:''' Oh, hello. I'm Super Kami Guru. And I'm the guy who is not judging you on your appearance.
** [[spoiler: Becomes a FunnyAneurysmMoment when you find out in episode 30 that he's the one who drank all the water, caused the drought, blamed it on the albino Namekians, then ordered their extermination as punishment.]]
* (re: the Ginyu Force's defeat)
-->'''Captain Ginyu:''' Did (Recoome) at least die with dignity?
-->(Cut to Recoome lying face down on the ground, his naked ass in the air. Buzzing flies are heard.)
-->'''Jeice:''' Err...Define "dignity", Cap'n.
* This exchange:
-->'''Jeice:''' Well, cap'n, if you're getting stressed, you could always... ya know...
-->'''Ginyu:''' Jeice! This is hardly the time nor the place. Besides, [[ADateWithRosiePalms I already did it in the pod]] [[BrickJoke on the way here]].
-->'''Jeice:''' ...I meant ''switch bodies'', sir...
[[WMG: Episode 23]]
* Krillin and Gohan discussing why the Namekian Dragon Balls aren't working.
-->'''Gohan:''' Maybe there's something special about Namekian Dragon Balls.
-->'''Krillin:''' Maybe if I sing to it. ''I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves-''
-->'''Gohan:''' -Actually, Krillin, I was thinking something else. Maybe the only way to summon it is to call it in its native language.
-->'''Krillin:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I don't speak German!]] And the only person I know that does was the toilet... and it's dead. God rest his seat.
* Bulma calling out Krillin and Gohan on leaving her alone all the time, and Krillin pointing out the logic of her problem:
-->'''Bulma:''' Why?! Why would you leave me alone here?! I don't know this place! Did you know there are [[GiantEnemyCrab giant crabs]] [[DoubleEntendre down there]]?! I do! I KILLED ONE!
-->'''Krillin:''' Okay, Bulma, just calm down. Why are you upset?
-->'''Bulma:''' Why?! Because I am always alone!
-->'''Krillin:''' And if we were to stay here, what would that accomplish?
-->'''Bulma:''' ...just take the f***ing radar.
-->'''Krillin:''' Thank you, Bulma. Say "Thank you", Gohan.
-->'''Gohan:''' Thank you, Bulma.
-->'''Bulma:''' No problem, Gohan.
-->'''Krillin:''' And no problem...
-->'''Bulma:''' Shove it!
-->'''Krillin:''' I'll take it.
* Also:
-->'''Freeza:''' (to Nail) Oh, I know. How bout a good old-fashioned joke? How many Namekians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Their whole race. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest to die. And then the other one dies too.
** Freeza is just terrible, [[FauxAffablyEvil in the funniest way possible.]]
---> '''Freeza:''' So. We've been flying for about twenty minutes now. Got any family? Because if so I probably killed them. [{{beat}}] Stop ignoring me.
* Vegeta imagining himself yelling "Team Three Star" just before breaking Krillin's neck.
--> "Amazing."
* Two soldiers talking about [[StockScream the Wilhelm scream]] and trying to imitate it. Vegeta then knocks one to his death, which makes him do the real deal.
-->'''Soldier:''' Dude, that was totally it! (dies, emitting the scream as well)
** Made even funnier when after that, everyone else very clearly also has a stock scream... of VideoGame/TeamFortress2 characters. Also after the slaughter:
--->'''Vegeta:''' (jumping into Freeza's base, deadpan) Weeeeeeee.
* When Gohan is fighting Ginyu in Goku's body:
-->'''Ginyu:''' (in Goku's body) This is absurd! His power level was a league above my own when we fought! What the blazes is going on?!
-->'''Goku:''' (in Ginyu's body) Ha ha! You don't know any of my techniques!
-->'''Ginyu:''' What techniques? Tell me!
-->'''Goku:''' I'm not gonna tell you how to use the Kaio-ken!
-->'''Ginyu:''' Kaio-wha-? (Kicked by Gohan and Krillin at the same time)
* Ginyu!Goku getting confused about who is in whose body.
-->'''Ginyu!Goku:''' (After Goku!Ginyu flies off) Man... I'm a jerk now...
-->'''Ginyu!Goku:''' (after hearing Vegeta explain that Kakarot and Goku refer to the same person) So does that make me Ginyu?
-->'''Ginyu!Goku:''' (blocking Vegeta from Ginyu's body change) I'll save you, Goku!
* Vegeta's answer to Ginyu's request for a moment of silence.
--> '''Goku!Ginyu:''' Just...just allow me a customary moment of silence.
--> *{{Beat}}*
--> '''Vegeta:''' [[WesternAnimation/FindingNemo Mine mine mine minemineMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE]]! (Bashes Ginyu!Goku into the ground.)
* This conversation:
--> '''Vegeta:''' The best part about this- I get to kill both Ginyu AND Kakarot at the same time?
--> '''Goku!Ginyu:''' Wait, who's Kakarot?
--> '''Vegeta:''' You're Kakarot.
--> '''Goku!Ginyu:''' I thought his name was Goku.
--> '''Krillin:''' His name is Goku!
--> '''Vegeta:''' No, it's Kakarot.
--> '''Goku!Ginyu:''' But he just said Goku.
--> '''Krillin:''' Yeah, I did.
--> '''Vegeta:''' I know what he said but he-
--> '''Goku!Ginyu:''' : So what is it? Kakarot or Goku?
--> '''Vegeta and Krillin:''' It's Kakarot!/It's Goku!
--> '''Vegeta:''' No, no, no! Just...look. His Saiyan name is Kakarot, but he changed it when he landed on Earth as a baby. So they kept calling him by his Earth name, and I am calling him by his real name!
--> '''Ginyu!Goku:''' ...so does that make me Ginyu?
--> '''Vegeta:''' *[[{{Angrish}} screams in rage]]*
* Gohan's snaps and starts CallingTheOldManOut.
-->'''Krillin:''' Gohan, we might have a chance now! But you have to give it your all! Remember, (Ginyu) may look like your dad, you can absolutely not hold back-
-->'''Gohan''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! You abandoned me for a year with Piccolo, sent me off into space, and the next time I get to see you, [[GrandTheftMe you lost your damn body?!]] YOU'RE NOT EVEN YOU ANYMOOOOORE!
-->'''Ginyu!Goku:''' I don't know where he gets ''that'' from.
* This line:
-->'''Ginyu!Goku:''' This is easily the second worst hole I've had in my chest. It's going to take, like, a million mommy kisses to make this feel better.
[[WMG: Episode 24]]
* Freeza and Nail's confrontation:
-->'''Nail:''' (attacks Freeza mid-sentence) HAAAAA!
-->'''Freeza:''' [[NoSell Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know we were starting.]] Here, allow me. (rips Nail's arm off)
-->'''Nail:''' AAAAAAHHHHHH! (falls to his knees in agony)
-->'''Freeza:''' Looks like someone's going to be missing this! (Drops Nail's severed arm in front of him)
-->'''Nail:''' [[GoodThingYouCanHeal No, not really.]] (grows a new arm)
-->'''Freeza:''' Ooh, that looks like it hurts a ''lot''. [[AffablyEvil Are you okay?]]
-->'''Nail:''' I'm fine!
-->'''Freeza:''' Good to know. [[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud Yoink!]] (rips off Nail's new arm)
** In their next scene, there's a whole pile of mutilated arms on the ground.
--->'''Freeza:''' How many arms do you think we're up to? [[CrossesTheLineTwice I think we're up to 24.]]
*** [[StealthPun Also a reference to the episode number.]]
* Vegeta, Gohan, and Krillin taking Goku to the healing tank in the ship:
-->'''Vegeta:''' It'll take a while, though. This is the only other model the ship has. And it's kind of an old one.
-->'''Krillin:''' What happened to the newer model?
-->'''Vegeta:''' Blew it the f*** up.
-->'''Krillin:''' What, did it have an opinion?
-->'''Vegeta:''' Eat me. [...] Now, both of you, [[EvilSoundsDeep STRIP.]]
-->'''Krillin:''' Ummmm...
-->'''Vegeta:''' I've got body armor for you.
-->'''Krillin:''' ...Less awkward.
* Krillin and Gohan [[LampshadeHanging lampshading]] [[ScheduleSlip how long they've been on Namek]].
-->'''Krillin:''' You know, Gohan. It just occurred to me.
-->'''Gohan:''' Yeah, Krillin?
-->'''Krillin:''' [[ArcFatigue We're still on Namek.]]
-->'''Gohan:''' What do you mean?
-->'''Krillin:''' Well, it feels like we've been here for like, a year.
-->'''Gohan:''' [[ComicBookTime But we've only been here for six days!]]
-->'''Krillin:''' I know, right?!
* Krillin unintentionally giving Vegeta flashbacks from the previous season:
-->'''Krillin:''' Hey, by the way, don't I look like that one guy that Vegeta landed with back on Earth? What was his name, again? [[CallBack Hey, Vegeta!]] What was that one guy's name? [[RunningGag Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?]] [[OverlyLongGag Vegeta?]] (Nappa's head appears) [[MostAnnoyingSound Vegeta? Vegeta?]]
-->'''Vegeta:''' (Scowls) Goddamnit, Nappa.
-->'''Krillin:''' Oh, right! Good ol' Goddamnit Nappa.
* George Takei randomly interrupting the conversation between Goku and King Kai:
-->'''Goku:''' Who's that, King Kai?
-->'''King Kai:''' It's George Takei. Somehow we made this into a [[AccidentalInnuendo three-way.]]
-->'''George Takei:''' [[CatchPhrase Ohhhh]] ''[[CatchPhrase my!]]''
-->'''King Kai:''' ''[[ThatCameOutWrong Call!]]'' Three-way ''call''!
* Dende starts screaming in terror when he thinks he's been caught by one of Freeza's henchmen. Then he realizes it's Krillin, and he screams ''even louder.''
* Gohan's inner monologue as he reflects on his life:
-->'''Gohan:''' Then again, I don't really know anyone my own age. My best friends are a 26 year-old dwarf, and a giant green alien who [[HilariouslyAbusiveChildhood constantly hits me.]] [[ParentalNeglect Still, better than my dad. At least they're ''around'' ]]. ...Huh. Where did [[CallBack that]] come from?
* Porunga's introduction:
-->'''Krillin:''' Holy crap, your dragon's on steroids!
-->'''Porunga:''' (In Namekian) ''I am Porunga, Dragon of Dreams, and I-- [sees Krillin]...Why is there an Albino Namekian amongst you? I thought they were wiped out in the purge!''
-->'''Dende:''' ''Actually, they're earthlings.''
-->'''Porunga:''' ''[[HumansAreUgly God, they're ugly.]]''
-->'''Dende:''' ''And annoying.''
* King Kai communicating with Krillin:
-->'''Krillin:''' We get three wishes? That's awesome! I want a three foot long-
-->'''King Kai:''' Stop screwing around and wish these idiots off my planet!
-->'''Krillin:''' Holy crap, I can hear a voice inside my head!
-->'''Dende:''' Is it telling you [[MyNameIsNotDurwood my name is Dende?]]
-->'''Krillin:''' Hush, Little Green! The voice speaks to me.
-->'''King Kai:''' This is King Kai. Wish these guys back to life before I kill myself.
-->'''Krillin:''' Wait, can gods kill themselves?
-->'''King Kai:''' I'M ABOUT TO TRY!
* No one cares what Yamcha thinks!
* Piccolo's reaction to being sent to a random spot on Namek:
-->'''Krillin:''' Little Green, wish our friend Piccolo back to life, and then with our next wish, bring him to Namek.
-->'''Piccolo:''' Hold on a minute, don't do that! That is a terrible i--(is resurrected and brought to Namek)--dea!
-->''[Piccolo's can be heard screaming in the distance.]''
-->'''Dende:''' He is on Namek.
-->'''Gohan:''' Wait, where is he?
-->'''Dende:''' On Namek.
-->'''Piccolo:''' (in the distance) You dumbass!
-->'''Krillin:''' Why didn't it bring him here?
-->'''Dende:''' You must be specific.
-->'''Gohan:''' Oh, so it's a [[ViewersAreGeniuses sort of monkey's paw.]] [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor You have to be careful with the hubris in your wishes.]]
-->'''Piccolo:''' (still in the distance) [[CatchPhrase NEEEEEEEERRRRDDD!]]
* Apparently, Goku was right; Vegeta ''does'' have a very nervous bladder.
-->'''Vegeta:''' (suddenly wakes up, jumps to his feet, fists clenched) I have to pee! (bolts out of the room)
** It also takes him ''way'' too long to figure out why the sky has turned dark: ''"Jesus, I overslept. It's already night...for the first time since I got here...on a planet with three suns." (Alarm clock in his head ticks, then goes off after several seconds) "Oh you mother''-(cut back to the dragon)-''FUCKERS!"'' (you can also hear Piccolo shout "Ow, my ears!"). [[CallBack But when he does...]]
--->'''Krillin:''' (on what he should use the third wish for) I want my three-foot!-
--->'''Vegeta:''' (visibly furious) '''HEY!! WHAT'S UP GUYS?!'''
--->'''Krillin:''' I'm never gonna get my hoagie.
--->'''Vegeta:''' '''SO WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?!'''
--->'''Gohan:''' What am I doin'?
--->'''Vegeta:''' '''WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?!'''
--->'''Gohan:''' Nothing much.
--->'''Vegeta:''' '''THWARTIN' MAH PLANS?!'''
--->'''Gohan:''' Thwartin' your plans?
--->'''Vegeta:''' '''ARE YOU?!'''
--->'''Gohan:''' ...Yes.
--->'''Vegeta:''' '''...I'M GONNA F***ING KILL YOU!'''
* [[spoiler: Guru]]'s death and how well it fits with [[JerkAss his character]]:
-->'''[[spoiler: Guru]]:''' I feel that they have finally summoned the dragon. Would be a ''reeeal'' dick move to die right now...''Huuurrkk'' ''[dies]''
* When Kami is resurrected.
-->'''Popo:''' -humming and watering plants-\\
'''Kami:''' (poofs) Fan-freaking-tastic, We're back here again.\\
'''Popo:''' Oh, you're back. Hi Kami.\\
'''Kami:''' Mr. Popo, what are you watering?\\
'''Popo:''' Pot.\\
'''Kami:''' Pots of what?\\
'''Popo:''' Pot. (''beat'') I'm not getting rid of it.\\
'''Kami:''' [[DidWeJustHaveTeaWithCthulhu Are you kidding? That sh*t's great for my glaucoma!!]]
** Even better given it's a brick joke to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOVORQzNmrM&feature=related this]].
* Freeza's reaction to learning that the Namekians have hoodwinked him.
-->'''Nail:''' (''Enjoying this moment'') The earthlings have the password.
-->'''Freeza:''' [[FlatWhat ...What?]]
-->'''Nail:''' Remember the little Namekian you passed on the way to Guru's? On his way to the humans with the password. By now he's probably already there and they're about to summon the dragon!
-->'''Freeza:''' (''Barely concealed rage'') Grk...Jch...
-->'''Nail:''' Yeah, if I could guess your biggest mistake, it would be ''not stopping him''. That or the purple lipstick.
-->'''Freeza:''' '''I WILL F***ING MURDER YOU!!'''
-->'''Nail:''' Whatever.
-->'''Freeza:''' (''flies off and turns on scouter'') ''Why aren't the Ginyus showing up!?'' Oh, they're dead. *beat* '''''WHY ARE THEY DEAD?!'''''
* Vegeta's thoughts as he was falling asleep.
-->'''Vegeta:''' ''First immortality. Then the bitches.''
* The reveal that even Krillin thought the name "Team Three Star" was stupid.
** That seemed more like he was trying to save face than anything else, considering how enthusiastic he was about it in the beginning.
* Freeza getting annoyed with Namek. Again.
-->'''Nail:''' (Lands on a random spot) This is my people's sacred battleground.
-->'''Freeza:''' We flew over an hour for ''this?'' It looks exactly the same as everywhere else on this god-forsaken rock!
[[WMG: Episode 25]]
* TheStinger has the [[SuperMarioBros theme song]] with Freeza under a power up box. Out pops the mushroom and Freeza transforms.
* Episode 25 has several including Freeza raising the Owned count so high that he gets [[SuperMarioBros 1Ups]], Nappa in the flashback and [[spoiler: Dodoria shopped onto a [[{{Squick}} fat woman in lingerie]] during a solar flare]].
** Freeza singing a mudded rendition of [[TheSoundOfMusic "My Favorite Things"]] in 25, is both hilarious and chilling.
---> '''Freeza:''' Peaceful young races with fires on their houses, millions of voices all silenced like mouses, watching the cowards bow toward their new king, these are the few of my favorite things!
* When Nail instructs Piccolo on fusing, he tells the latter to put his hand on his chest... lower... lower... lower... little lower...
-->'''Nail:''' Ahh, if we had junk you'd be gay right now!
* Another is the aftermath of Piccolo's fusion with Nail. TeamFourStar handles it EXACTLY like the dub complete with Piccolo psyching himself up...until...
--> '''Nail:''' (inside Piccolo's head) What are you doing?
--> '''Piccolo:''' Errrghummm...Nothing.
--> '''Nail:''' Really? 'Cause it looked like you were chanting to yourself.
--> '''Piccolo:''' Are you in my head?
--> '''Nail:''' Yep. Don't worry, supposedly I should fade into your subconscious...sooner or later.
--> '''Piccolo:''' OK...so what now?
--> '''Nail:''' By my estimate, this fusion should have given you just enough power to wipe out the bastard that killed our people.
--> '''Piccolo:''' And?
--> '''Nail:''' Well, let me put this in terms you can understand...YOU CAN WIN! YOU FEEL GREAT! YOU! CAN! DO! THIS!
--> '''Piccolo:''' Oh HA-HA!
* When Freeza's still in his first form, locked in a power struggle with Vegeta, his scouter displays the message "F**K THIS. I'M OUT." seconds before exploding.
* During the flashback about Bardock's warning:
--> '''Saiyan:''' He's been telling everyone that Freeza plans to destroy Vegeta.
--> '''King Vegeta:''' Wait, my son, the planet, or me?
--> *{{beat}}*
--> '''Butarega:''' [[MathematiciansAnswer ...Yes.]]
--> [King Vegeta blasts Butarega away]
--> '''King Vegeta:''' Friggin' smartass.
* When Dende heals Gohan.
--> '''Gohan:''' I... you... healed me.
--> '''Dende:''' You are the only one I respect.
--> '''Gohan:''' Then why did you heal Krillin?
--> '''Dende:''' The better question is; [[SchmuckBait why did I tell him he was immortal?]]
* When Gohan's RoaringRampageOfRevenge after Freeza (almost) kills Krillin fails.
-->'''Gohan:''' Think, what would dad do?\\
'''Goku:''' (flashback) Bye, son!\\
'''Gohan:''' I'm beginning to think I have issues.
* When Krillin comes back in top form after being impaled:
-->'''Vegeta:''' (inner monologue) I swear if he used that wish for immortality on himself, I am going to murde-\\
[creeping realization]\\
'''Vegeta:''' (out loud) That... ''bastard''.
* '''''[[LargeHam SOCIAL ACTIVITYYYYY!]]'''''
* While Freeza is owning Krillin so much he starts getting [[SuperMarioBros 1Ups...]]
-->'''Gohan:''' Krillin, stop! You're making him stronger!
* Krillin tells the gang how he blinded Freeza with Solar Flare;
-->'''Gohan:''' And then you used your Ki-Enzan to cut him in half?
-->'''Krillin:''' Ummm...
-->'''Freeza:''' I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE!!
-->'''Krillin:''' To answer your question, Gohan, no, I did not do that.
* Krillin learns that he isn't immortal.
-->'''Krillin:''' Wait, you mean I could have actually ''died?''
-->'''Vegeta:''' Yeah, and unlike the runt and I, you don't get a power boost from it.
-->'''Krillin:''' Hax! I call hax!
* Piccolo's BigDamnHeroes moment is accompanied by [[VideoGame/ChronoTrigger Magus']] [[MythologyGag battle]] [[CrowningMusicOfAwesome music.]] [[hottip:*:You know, cause Magus and Piccolo look similar as both were designed by AkiraToriyama. Plus, Magus was the Fiendlord, and Piccolo Senior was the Demon King.]]
* Nail explains his plan to Piccolo.
-->'''Nail:''' There's a special ability our people share. Forbidden, even amongst our most sacred clans.
-->'''Piccolo:''' And we're just gonna abuse it?
-->'''Nail:''' Oh, maliciously!
-->'''Piccolo:''' Bitchin'! How we do?
* Freeza "taunting" Vegeta while he tortures Gohan
-->'''Freeza:''' So Vegeta, does this get you angry?
-->'''Vegeta:''' Not really, kind of a smart ass.
-->'''Freeza:''' Well then, why am I even bothering?!
-->'''Vegeta:''' Because... you get off on it...?
-->'''Freeza:''' Oh, unbelievably!
* Piccolo's first thoughts on Namek;
-->"What was that idiot ''doing'', bringing me here? It's- Wait a minute. I can feel it. This is my home! I can finally see its beauty! The lush blue fields... The crystal clear waters... The wind brushing past my ''GOD'' this is boring! Huh...no wonder I feel right at home."
* How Vegeta knew that Freeza can transform.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Guldo told me\\
''[cutaway]''\\
'''Guldo:''' So... Did you know that Freeza can transform?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Huh. That right?\\
'''Guldo:''' Yeah. And Burter's gay!\\
'''Vegeta:''' (''genuine surprise'') Really!?\\
''[cutaway]''\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[RunningGag And then I threw a dog treat at him]]. True story.\\
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=9ada9xsMnm4#t=573s "Suck my diiiiick!"]]
[[WMG: Episode 26]]
* The miraculous return of the Kanassans:
--> '''Kanassan 1:''' I CAN SEE THE FUTUUUUUURE!
--> '''Kanassan 2:''' BULMA AND VEGETA HAVE A KIIIIIID!
--> '''Kanassan 3:''' THE REAL BUU IS A CHILD!
--> '''Kanassan 4:''' CELL REACHES HIS PERFECT FOOOOORM!
--> '''Kanassan 5:''' GOTEN AND TRUNKS BECOME A GUUUUYYYY!
--> '''Kanassan 6:''' GOHAN IS THE STRONGEST IN THE UNIVERSE BUT STILL DOESN'T DO CRAAAAAAP!
* The Stinger has this exchange:
--> '''Krillin:''' [[MyNameIsNotDurwood Little Green!]] [[BigNo NOOOOOOOO!!!]]
--> '''Gohan:''' Actually Krillin, his name was Dende.
--> '''Krillin:''' Huh, that's funny. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint He never spoke up about it.]]
* A brilliant send up of the series' "weighted clothing" concept:
--> '''Piccolo:''' Don't think you have the upper hand yet. [[IAmNotLeftHanded I'm still wearing weighted armour!]]
--> '''Freeza:''' Weighted armour? How quaint. And how much does it weigh?
--> '''Piccolo:''' Same as it always does: one hundred kilo-
--> ''Freeza grins''
--> '''Piccolo:''' ...Oh.
--> '''Freeza:''' That's just cute!
--> '''Piccolo:''' [[PowerCreepPowerSeep That concept just sort of lost meaning after a while, didn't it?]]
* After Krillin sees Piccolo crack his knuckles and neck in a truly awesome way.
--> '''Krillin:''' Aw man that sounded good, now I have to do ''my'' neck. ''[SNAP]'' OWWW MY NECK! ''[Krillin Owned Count: 26]''
* Piccolo and Nail's conversation during Freeza's 2nd transformation.
--> '''Nail:''' Hey man, can I talk to you about something really quick?
--> '''Piccolo:''' I'm seriously in the middle of something right now!
--> '''Nail:''' Yeah, I know, but I've been looking around and you've got like NO apps in here. I have already played the crap out of Minesweeper.
--> '''Piccolo:''' COULD YOU JUST- wait, I have apps? I have Minesweeper?! I just thought I could connect to the internet with my antennae!
--> '''Nail:''' I didn't know we could do that!
--> '''Piccolo:''' We all learn something new every day. Now could you just let me focus?!
--> '''Nail:''' Hey...you want to play me in Minesweeper?
--> '''Piccolo:''' You CAN'T play someone in Minesweeper! That's a single-player game!
--> '''Nail:''' First I go, then you go and try to beat my time, and...hey, is he transforming?
--> '''Piccolo:''' ''DAMN IT!''
* For some reason, this troper finds the exchange after Freeza transforms into his 3rd form hilarious.
--> '''Freeza:''' So Namekian, what do you think of my 3rd form?
--> '''Piccolo:''' I think RidleyScott's gonna sue somebody.
--> '''Freeza:''' What are you talking about? *Alien tongue bursts out of mouth and makes noises* Let me touch your skin...
--> '''Piccolo:''' *disturbed yell*
* Definitely this exchange:
--> '''Freeza:''' I have a question for you though.
--> '''Piccolo:''' What’s that?
--> '''Freeza:''' DIE.
--> '''Piccolo:''' ...That's... not... a... questio- *gets knocked into plateau*
--> '''Freeza:''' That's because I don't do requests.
* When Vegeta tried fleeing, this happened:
--> '''Freeza:''' *suddenly appears* So, Vegeta, where do you think you're going?
--> '''Vegeta:''' Oh, y'know... *shifts eyes* places...
--> '''Freeza:''' Places, hm? Like that mountain over there?
--> '''Vegeta:''' *looking* Actually, that looks more like a plat- *gets knocked into* -EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUU!!
** Extra funny if you realize [[BrickJoke a similar joke was made 23 episodes earlier.]]
* Freeza's "game"
--> '''Freeza:''' How about this? Let's play a game. Ever hear of paintball?
--> '''Piccolo:''' [[TemptingFate Yeah...]]
--> '''Freeza:''' Just remove the "t".
--> '''Piccolo:''' I don't ge- (Freeza blasts him in the knee) OH HO I GET IT!
** Plus the exchange right afterward that would later be alluded to in episode 29.
--> '''Freeza:''' Now for your ''other'' [[BizarreAlienBiology glubok]]! (He blasts Piccolo again.)
--> '''Piccolo:''' AGH! ...You're not really familiar with our anatomy, are you?
--> '''Freeza:''' It doesn't matter! I'll hit your glubok somewhere! (He starts repeatedly blasting Piccolo)
[[WMG: Episode 27]]
* The opening.
--> '''Goku:''' I'm sure they're doing just fine.
--> '''Vegeta:''' HEALER'S DOWN!
--> '''Krillin:''' NEED A REZ!
--> '''Gohan:''' OUT OF MANA!
--> '''All three:''' AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
** Before that, Goku was singing "Put the Lime in the Coconut".
* Vegeta actually crying in front of Freeza:
--> '''Freeza:''' See, it's like I told you, Vegeta. "Like a bitch."
--> '''Vegeta:''' Shut up!
--> '''Freeza:''' Oh my god, you actually are crying!
--> '''Vegeta:''' (crying) I'M NOT CRYING! NOT!
* Freeza's continued mocking:
--> '''Freeza:''' It's like putting down [[OldYeller Old Space Yeller]].
--> '''Krillin:''' HOW IS THAT A THING?
* The return of "DOOOOOOOOOOODGE!!"
* Goku's attempt at a BadassBoast.
--> '''Goku:''' I'm Goku! I'm insane, from Earth!
--> '''Vegeta:''' He means Saiyan.
** And then Freeza's response:
--->'''Freeza:''' Well between you and the Namekian I think I've lost my touch at genocide.
* A good amount of the dialogue in episode 27, such as the round of "Row row row your boat". Especially once Goku arrives and starts talking to Freeza.
** Note that the singing round includes [[OnlySaneMan King Kai]] and [[StraightMan Tien]], but cuts off before [[ButtMonkey Yamcha]]. Priceless.
** Meta example in that shortly before the episode's release, WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic reviewed ''Film/StarTrekVTheFinalFrontier'', which had an infamous scene of Kirk and [=McCoy=] singing Row Row Row Your Boat. [=KaiserNeko=] noted this coincidence on Twitter.
* Vegeta attempting to [[CallBack rock Freeza like a hurricane]]. [[spoiler: It fails.]]
-->"Huh, I should've known that was only a one-hit wonder."
* After Goku blocks Freeza's BeamSpam attack, Freeza demands to know how it's possible from Vegeta, who's been talking about the Super Saiyan legend the whole episode, and previous ones (having already given an identical speech about it ''twice''). Mostly in relation to himself, but you can tell Freeza sees it coming ''again''. Each word out of Freeza's mouth is angrier than the last in the following exchange.
--> '''Vegeta:''' You see, Freeza? You aren't dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore-
--> '''Freeza:''' ''[[NoJustNoReaction Oh. My! GOD!!!]]''
* EVERYTHING that the extremely short-lived Jamaican crab (that sounds very similar to [[Disney/TheLittleMermaid Sebastian the Crab]]) says before getting eaten by Freeza in Episode 27.
--> [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYpfCrJPry4&feature=context&context=G284f7beFAAAAAAAAJAA#t=5m48s "Baguan, brederin Vegeta. Me be ya spirit animal. And me here to tell ya how to mash up dat bumbaclot Freeza. All you got to do is ..."]] [[KilledMidSentence *crunch*]]
** Then an episode or so later, Freeza tilts his head, and the crab falls [[BizarreAlienBiology out his ear]] going "Eymon!"
* When Goku arrives, he talks to the others. This happens.
-->'''Goku:''' Oh, hey Piccolo! When'd you come back?
-->'''Piccolo:''' Uh... Dragon Balls...
-->'''Goku:''' Cool,
-->'''Krillin:''' GOKU!!
-->'''Goku:''' Hey Krillin! You look funny in that armor!
-->'''Gohan:''' DAD!!!
-->'''Goku:''' [[CrowningMomentofIndifference Hey.]]
** And then he turns to Freeza:
--->'''Goku:''' So, are you that Freezer guy?
--->'''Freeza:''' ''<hesitantly>'' I am ''Lord Freeza,'' yes.
--->'''Goku:''' ''<cheerfully>'' Awesome! Imma deck you in the schnozz!
--->''<Freeza stares blankly for a second, then drops Vegeta>''
--->'''Vegeta:''' Ow.
--->'''Freeza:''' I'm... sorry, that's a new one. Who... are you exactly?
** And note that this is actually a BrickJoke to how Freeza keeps track of every BadassBoast made towards him.
* Freeza explains why Vegeta is injured:
-->'''Freeza:''' Unfortunately, Vegeta and I had a disagreement. He wanted himself to live, and, well, ''I didn't.''
-->'''Goku:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Why do you want to die?]]
-->'''Freeza:''' Wh- no, I meant, I meant I wanted ''him'' to die-
-->'''Goku:''' [[DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu Is it because you look weird?]]
-->'''Freeza:''' ''[[BigWhat What?!]]''
-->'''Goku:''' Ah, you know, you got that big head, those weird lips and that tail-
-->(''Freeza gets angry and tries to blast Goku. [[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass Goku swats the blast away]].'')
-->'''Goku:''' -and you don't have ears...
-->'''Freeza:''' Okay, ''no''.
-->(''Freeza shoots multiple beams that Goku swats away effortlessly.'')
-->'''Goku:''' ...And to top it all off, you're really kind of a jerk.
-->'''Freeza:''' (shocked) And apparently, this is now happening.
* During their, ah, fight, Vegeta and Freeza's thoughts.
-->'''Vegeta:''' (thinking) ''Yes I have him on the ropes! All he can do is dodge me!''
-->'''Freeza:''' (thinking) ''God, Zarbon's dead, Dodoria's dead, the Ginyus are dead...this has been one giant mess. It's just like that jockstrap incident, only now I don't have Ginyu around to dig the holes!''
* Early on when Gohan, Krillin and Piccolo are all certain of their defeat and Vegeta keeps boasting how good he is:
--> '''Krillin:''' I couldn't even follow that attack! It was almost instantaneous!
--> '''Vegeta:''' Yup, just gonna stand here and keep bein' awesome--
--> '''Piccolo:''' There's nothing we can do against that kind of power!
--> '''Vegeta:''' (''Annoyed'') Uh, hello, awesome? Right here.
--> '''Gohan:''' We're all gonna die!
--> '''Vegeta:''' ... You know what? All of you better duck, because I'm about to turn left and I don't want to SMACK YOU WITH MY DICK.
* I know the whole scene with Freeza [[CurbstompBattle curb stomping]] Vegeta is pretty morbid, but I always find it humorous when Krillin asks if they should do something
--> '''Freeza:''' (''Appears'') Oh, go ahead, pool's open; water's fine. (''Everyone just stands there, shaking in their boots'') No? Just going to stand there like a bunch of pissants? Thought so.
* After Freeza tells Vegeta that a Super Saiyan is just a myth...
--> '''Vegeta:''' Bitch, [[YoureJustJealous you just jealous]] of my [[SouljaBoy Super Saiyan swagger]].
* While firing an impressive but ineffective BeamSpam, Vegeta yelling "[[MoreDakka DAKKA DAKKA]] [[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}} DAKKA DAKKA]]!"
[[WMG: Episode 28]]
* The opening, which has Vegeta stating the usual legal stuff, but clearly dying with each breath.
* Vegeta's dying words.
--> '''Vegeta:''' You are our race's last hope. You are the last remaining Saiyan. ...''Oh god, you're the last remaining Saiyan.''
* Freeza's complete stupification as he tries to comprehend how Goku thinks.
-->'''Goku:''' Wow, that was close! I was almost out of the frying pan, and into the... lava.
-->'''Freeza:''' How do you ''function''?
* After kicking Freeza into a mountain, the two exchange banter. Goku gets in a legitimate taunt.
** And actually thanks his brain for coming up with it.
* Goku being totally blind to Freeza's attacks.
-->'''Freeza''': *while lifting a mountain* Filthy Monkey, meet General Mountain!!
-->*beat*
-->'''Goku''' "...[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Hi General Mountain! I'm Go-*SLAM*]]
* All of the ensuing fight between Goku and Freeza... [[VillainousBreakdown as Freeza gradually loses it from exposure to Goku's stupidity.]]
** Half the fun is Goku [[SarcasmBlind taking Freeza's thinly-veiled threats and taunts at face value.]]
* Vegeta tells Goku that your clothes don't come with you when you die. Goku says his stayed with him.
-->'''Vegeta:''' That lying red motherfucker!
-->(Later, at King Yemma’s)
-->'''King Yemma:''' (To all arriving souls) Strip...next. Strip...next. Strip...next. Strip...({{beat}}, leans forward) nice.
-->'''Arriving soul:''' [[spoiler: Recoome thanks you.]]
* The random moment with Bulma shows her drinking the planet's water.
-->'''Bulma:''' Oh God! That was so refreshing... [[LampshadeHanging too bad it was all saltwater though.]] (faints)
* Freeza finds Goku just isn't the same as his now-deceased minions:
-->'''Goku:''' My butt is flaming!
-->'''Freeza:''' ...I miss [[CampStraight Zarbon]].
* Krillin getting hit in the face with Freeza's puke, bringing the [[RunningGag Krillin Owned Counter]] up to 27.
* When Goku says to Freeza that he won the game because he fought without his shirt (long story). He asks what his prize is.
-->'''Goku:''' What do I win?
-->'''Freeza:''' Another bath!
-->*Beat*
-->'''Goku:''' But I'm not dir-
-->[[GilliganCut *Cut to Goku being drowned by Freeza*]]
--> '''Freeza:''' Just tell me when you need to come up for air.
* The following exchange, just after Vegeta's burial. Freeza's expression while saying the last line is ''priceless'':
-->'''Freeza:''' Come now, I'm sure he's in a better place... Oh, who am I kidding? He's probably in Hell!
--> '''Goku:''' I don't know, I went to Hell once. The only real bad part was these two oiled-up German guys trying to wrestle me.
--> '''Freeza:''' ...are you real?
* Goku denounces Freeza as a monster who kills anyone, even children:
-->'''Freeza:''' Oh please, everyone's always on about the children. I already tried leaving them alive, but all they do is grow up under my rule or dedicate their pathetic lives to revenge. Usually both. Really, killing them this a kindness. I can retract that kindness if you wish, but then who's the villain?
-->'''Goku:''' (totally lost) Y... you.
-->'''Freeza:''' N-no, that was a rhetorical question.
-->'''Goku:''' And I gave you a rhetorical answer!
-->'''Freeza:''' ...Good lord, I traded Vegeta for this.
* Goku's brain appearing to be voiced by OrsonWelles, at least if its garbled comments about "frozen peas" while Goku is drowning were any indication.
* Vegeta's spirit animal falling out of Freeza's ear.
* The beginning;
-->'''Goku:''' Vegeta, no!
-->'''Gohan:''' Vegeta, no!
-->'''Krillin:''' Don't worry, Gohan. Little Green'll- (''Shot of Dende's corpse'') ...oh. Vegeta, no!
-->'''Piccolo:''' ...Meh.
* Goku bites Freeza's tail. 'Nuff said.
* Goku continuing to be a terrible father.
-->'''Goku:''' Piccolo, you take care of Gohan.
-->'''Piccolo:''' So... keep doing what I've been doing, then?
-->'''Goku:''' Yah-huh.
-->'''Piccolo:''' Yeah, I figured. Let's go!
-->'''Krillin:''' Oh thank god!
-->''Piccolo and Krillin fly away.''
-->'''Gohan:''' (whispering) Dad... beat him within an inch of his life... AND HANG HIM UP BY HIS ENTRAILS!
-->'''Goku:''' (To himself) Wow, he sounds like he's had a hard time. Piccolo should really have a talk with him.
* Freeza asking if Goku wants to play a "game".
-->'''Freeza:''' (threateningly) Want to play a game?
-->{{Beat}}
-->'''Goku:''' [[TooDumbToLive Yes...]]
* After the "pinball" game:
-->'''Freeza:''' So how did you like that game, monkey?
-->'''Goku:''' Eh, it was okay.
-->'''Freeza:''' Wha...''How did you-''
-->'''Goku:''' It's no VideoGame/DonkeyKong though. That has a pie level!
-->'''Freeza:''' (Wide eyed, says nothing. Leans forward making a creaking sound)
** Said Pinball game is followed by a high score board (With the new top scorer being ASS). It costs 1/2 [[ButtMonkey Raditz]] for a new game.
* Why Vegeta got shot:
-->'''Goku:''' Vegeta, are you all right?
-->'''Vegeta:''' I have...a f**king hole in my chest... why didn't you block that one!?
-->'''Goku:''' I thought you had it!
-->'''Vegeta:''' (Passionately exasperated) ''No!''
-->'''Freeza:''' It's funny how he's still talking, I could have sworn I hit a lung- (''Vegeta coughs blood'') Oh there it is!
* Freeza loses his patience with Goku.
-->'''Freeza:''' How do you ''function?''
-->'''Goku:''' Hey, I'm just like any other guy. I pay my taxes one leg at a time!
-->'''Freeza:''' ...I'm going to drown you. I'm going to drown you like a sack of dumb puppies.
-->'''Goku:''' What? Why would you drown puppies!?
-->'''Freeza:''' (''Snidely'') Because they're cute and cuddly.
-->'''Goku:''' Are...you coming on to me?
-->'''Freeza:''' Arrr...!
* The end of the episode:
-->'''Freeza:''' (still holding Goku under the water) Any last words, monkey? Besides "gurgle gurgle?"
-->'''Goku:''' (Goku breaks out from under the water) Yeah! Kaio-ken!
-->'''Freeza:''' [[RunningGag Kaio-what?]]
-->'''Goku:''' KA! ME! HA! ME! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (He apparently obliterates Freeza)
-->'''Freeza:''' (Emerges from the blast relatively unscathed) No, seriously. Kaio-what?
-->'''Goku:''' [[OhCrap Kaio-crap!]]
-->'''Freeza:''' I thought so. (He attacks Goku)
[[WMG: Episode 29]]
* The disclaimer is read by Krillin, followed by this gem of an exchange.
-->'''Lanipator:''' That was perfect, Krillin. Don't worry about your check, we'll send it to your next of kin.
-->'''Krillin:''' ...What?
* Freeza after pulling Goku out of the water
-->'''Freeza:''' Now what do you have to say for yourself, monkey?
-->'''Goku:''' (Spits up onto Freeza's face)
-->{{Beat}}
-->'''Freeza:''' (Starts kicking Goku repeatedly)
-->'''Goku:''' AH! OH! Son of a-!
* The entire bit with the Ginyu Force on King Kai's planet. Including lines from Yamcha.
-->'''Yamcha:''' [King Kai's training] is bogus!
-->'''Tien:''' I'm going to do my best to overlook the fact that you just used the word "bogus".
** King Kai's casual reaction to the tree Guldo threw at his house.
--->'''King Kai:''' Hey, I was just inside, taking a crap, I'm old, takes a while, come out, there's a tree in my living room... What's up?
** And when the Ginyus get kicked down to hell [[spoiler: by King Kai]]:
--->'''Goz:''' Meeeeez! We havez visitaaaaars! ''Prepare ze campz.''
* This exchange:
-->'''Goku:''' No, I can't lose. I have to beat you. You're evil, and you have to be stopped!
-->'''Freeza:''' Oh, come now. If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then let God strike me down where I stand. (''lightning strikes Freeza, to no effect'') HA! Nice try, jackass! Next time, give it your A-game!
* Freeza's frustration at not understanding what Goku's up to with the Spirit Bomb.
-->'''Freeza:''' There you go again, throwing your hands up in the air like you just don't care. '''CARE, DAMN IT'''!
* Freeza gets hit by the Spirit Bomb:
-->'''Freeza:''' (in a calm tone despite the look of horror on his face) ...Oh. Somehow I ''completely'' forgot about that.
--> [The Spirit Bomb absorbs his attack with an "om nom nom" sound]
--> '''Freeza:''' (still calm) Oh my god.
--> '''Freeza:''' (thinking) If I had any single regret for the countless horrific events that have transpired in my wake, it's that I'm dying.
* The CallBack to Piccolo having Goku distract Raditz while Goku is charging the spirit bomb. This time, the positions are reversed.
-->'''Piccolo:''' Did you just hold a grudge?
** And just like Piccolo, Goku sang a song while [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Piccolo was getting a beatdown]]. The song was, [[CallBack again]], [[TheMuppetShow Mahna Mahna]].
*** I'ma charging my attack.
*** If you listen carefully the beatdown, Piccolo says [[CallBack "Ow, my glubok!"]]
* Freeza's reappearance: "By the way, not dead. Kthanx '''DIE'''."
* When Freeza [[spoiler:kills Krillin]] after taking out Piccolo:
--> '''[[spoiler: Krillin]]:''' (After seeing Piccolo taken out) Oh, for a moment I thought that was going to be me.
--> '''Freeza:''' Ohoho, you're next.
--> '''[[spoiler: Krillin]]:''' Wait, what'd I ever do to you?
--> '''Freeza:''' Remember [[spoiler: my tail]]?
--> '''[[spoiler: Krillin]]:''' Can't you take a joke?
--> *Freeza gives an ugly stare at [[spoiler: Krillin]], while [[spoiler: Krillin]] gives a smile*
--> '''[[spoiler: Krillin]]:''' [[spoiler: [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH!]] *explodes*]]
--> *Beat*
-->[[spoiler: *Krillin's Owned Count goes to 28*]]
* The stinger, after [[spoiler: Freeza kills Krillin]]:
-->'''Mr. Popo:''' (''dramatic close-up'') '''''[[BrickJoke CALLED IT.]]'''''
* Freeza finally loses his cool.
-->'''Freeza:''' That's stupid! ''You're'' stupid! ''Stop being stupid!''
-->'''Goku:''' Or...maybe I'm being rhetorical.
-->'''Freeza:''' ''NO! NO YOU'RE NOT!'' God, it's like you just use words you hear randomly to try and sound smarter!
-->'''Goku:''' Huh. Well, now you're just acting transcendent.
-->'''Freeza:''' RR! (''Kicks Goku'')
* "RECOOOOOOOOOOOMEEE! DIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEE!
** "Hello" "Yaarr"
* After Guldo throws the tree at King Kai's house:
-->'''Burter:''' Whoa, little quick to the trigger there, Ace!
-->'''Guldo:''' Sorry, I kinda lost my head there after I... [[LosingYourHead lost my head]].
* Freeza spotting the huge Spirit Bomb above him.
-->'''Freeza:''' What is that glare? That's not a sun, it's not a moon and [[StarWars it's certainly not a space station]] - what is that? (''looks up'') What... is... that - [[RuleOfThree What is that!?]]
-->'''Goku:''' Are we still playing twenty questions?
-->'''Freeza:''' You were planning to use this on me, weren't you!?
-->'''Goku:''' ...Yeah...
* Also, Krillin keeps blurting out what Goku's doing, and how strong the Spirit Bomb is.
-->'''Piccolo:''' Shut ''up!''
-->'''Krillin:''' Too scared!
-->'''Piccolo:''' Damn it!
-->'''Freeza:''' What is that fool yammering on about?
-->'''Goku:''' He's talking about...ghosts.
-->'''Freeza:''' ...Ghosts.
-->'''Goku:''' (''Eyes shifting'') Yeah, you know... Spirits? ...Ghosts?
[[WMG: Episode 30 ]]
[[AC:Part 1 of 3]]
* A '''very''' pissed off Goku still brings the funny:
-->'''Goku:''' [[BadassBoast I'm going to break you.]]
-->'''Freeza:''' What?
-->'''Goku:''' (very angrily) [[BadassBoast Like a Kit-Kat bar.]]
-->'''Freeza:''' ...what?! *Goku sends him flying* '''''WHAT?!'''''
* Goku's BadassBoast.
--> '''Goku:''' I am the hope of the omniverse! I am the light bulb in the darkness! I am the bacon in the fridge for all living things to cry out in hunger! I am the alpha and the Amiga! [[WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck I am the terror that flaps in the night!]] I am Son Goku, and I am a Super-
--> ''Freeza laser blasts his face''
--> '''Goku:''' (''[[NoSell leans forward unharmed]]'') Saiyan.
** The exchange just before is also hilarious:
--->'''Freeza:''' You... You're different. What happened? WhatTheHellAreYou
--->'''Goku:''' Can't you tell Freezer? It's [[CallBack just like Vegeta said.]]
--->'''Freeza:''' NO YOU F[[SoundEffectBleep **]]KING DON'T!
* Freeza not knowing how long the planet is going to take to blow up and just guesses 5 minutes... Not even close.
* Freeza tries to barter with Goku:
--> '''Freeza:''' If you let me power up... I'll give you a pizza!
--> '''Goku:''' ...You killed my best friend, Freezer. That's '''not going to work anymore.'''
--> '''Freeza:''' TWO PIZZAS!
--> '''Goku:''' '''''I SAID I'M DONE!''''' [Goku charges at him.]
--> '''Freeza:''' ''With'' stuffed crust.
--> [Goku immediately stops on a dime.]
-->''{{Beat}}''
-->'''King Kai:''' ''Goku...''
-->'''Goku:''' Now hear me out, King Kai... If I let him power up to 100% and beat him then, it will demoramalize him and he'll never threaten anyone again.
-->'''King Kai:''' Goku that is retarded.
-->'''Goku:''' STUFFED CRUST, KING KAI! YOU CAN EAT IT IN REVERSE. (Inside Goku's eye is an actual stuffed crust pizza being ripped apart.)
* Mr. Popo gets the best line of the episode just before he summons Shenron:
-->"I'm so f**king high right now!"
* Shenron acknowledges Mr. Popo as his master and asks him if it's finally time to lay waste to the Earth. Popo tells him, "Eh...not yet. Give 'em a couple hundred years. See if they can clean this up."
** Then this exchange happens:
---> '''Shenron:''' Then how might I be of service, Lord Popo?
---> '''Popo:''' Good question. Kami, the f**k am I doing?
---> '''Kami:''' Good question. King Kai, the f**k is he doing?
---> '''King Kai:''' Aw, my head!
* King Kai's attempt to talk to [[HumanoidAbomination Mr. Popo]] telepathically. [[spoiler: His antennae explode.]]
--> '''King Kai:''' How the hell do you work with this guy?
--> '''Kami:''' It's easier than you think.
* Freeza becomes upset when Goku stops speaking and, after going into a rant about how superior he is to the now-Super Saiyan, decides to blow up Namek. Goku's response to this?
--> '''Goku:''' Wait, I zoned out there for a second. Wha?
--> (''explosion'')
--> '''King Kai:''' ...No...! NO NO SONUVABITCH! GAAAH!!
* This exchange:
--> '''King Kai:''' Are you questioning GOD?
--> '''Kami:''' Are ''you''?
* When Freeza fails to blow up Namek
--> '''Goku:''' D-Did you miss?
--> '''Freeza:''' How could I ''miss''?!
--> '''Goku:''' I dunno, how ''did'' ya?
-->'''Freeza:''' I know I hit the core... God, this ''always'' happens when I try and perform under stress.
[[AC:Part 2 of 3]]
* Guru upon resurrection:
-->'''Guru:''' Ahh! Oh. Right, I stopped my heart for a couple minutes there. (Notices destruction of Namek) Oh god, global warming!? '''NAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIII'''-
* Vegeta coming back:
--> '''Vegeta:''' [[Film/DawnOfTheDead When there's no more room in Hell, Vegeta shall walk the]]-
--> (Vegeta notices the world blowing up around him)
--> '''Vegeta:''' (deadpan) Other Hell, what the hell.
** Also, Vegeta checking to see if he was still alive.
--->'''Vegeta:''' (thinking) Well, at least my clothes are back, that's a start. Am I alive? (''Punches himself and goes down'') Ugh! Yay! I'm alive! (''Coughs blood'')
* Guru confessing to the Namekians that he's the one who drank all their planet's water, not the Albino Namekians, before dying of old age (a second time). [[spoiler: Except he wasn't dying. The mob of angry Namekians fixes this, though.]]
-->'''Guru:''' Remember when I said that [the albino Namekians] were responsible for the disappearance of our precious water?
-->'''Namekian 1:''' We slaughtered ''thousands''...
-->'''Guru:''' It was me.
-->'''Namekian 2:''' How!?
-->'''Guru:''' I drank it.
-->'''Namekian 3:''' Wha-!?
-->'''Guru:''' How do you think I got so FAT?
-->'''Namekians:''' *Stunned Silence*
-->'''Guru:''' And now I can die with a clear conscience. Hurk! Err! [[spoiler:*still alive* Uh... UGH! *still alive* Uh oh.]]
-->'''Namekian 4:''' [[spoiler:KILL HIM!]]
-->'''Guru:''' [[spoiler:NO! NAAAAAAAAAAAIL! *carnage* Choke on them! Oh god why?!]]
** Plus there's Gohan, Bulma, Piccolo and ''[[EvenEvilHasStandards Vegeta's]]'' shocked expressions while this goes on.
* Freeza and the revived Dende's brief conversation after the latter makes the final wish before Freeza does.
--> [Everyone on the planet except Goku and Freeza vanishes sent away] '''Freeza:''' What? No! This isn't what I wished for? ''What's going on?!''
--> '''Dende:''' Down here!
--> '''Freeza:''' ''YOU!'' No... ''No you didn't!''
--> '''Dende:''' So what if I did? What are you going to do about it, huh? ''Come at me bro!'' [Freeza fires at him, then Dende poofs away before it hits]
** Dende wishing everyone except Goku and Freeza to Earth with Porunga. When King Kai asks how he knew that part of the plan, Dende simply says that he just wanted to screw over Freeza. The music helps.
* During Goku and Freeza's fight...
--> '''Freeza:''' Dirty monkey... Huh? Where-- [Goku appears in front of him, two heads higher and with his abs in front of Freeza's face] [[HoYay Oh my]] ''[[HoYay god]]'', [[DistractedByTheSexy you could grind meat on th]]--[stumbles back] AH!
* Then immediately after...
--> '''Goku:''' I'm done.
--> '''Freeza:''' What?
--> '''Goku:''' I'm done fighting you. I'm bored. ''You're boring me.''
--> '''Freeza:''' Wha-- Oh, I get it. You're ''scared'', aren't you? Afraid knowing this planet has ''one minute left'' before it explodes!
--> '''Goku:''' Question.
--> '''Freeza:''' Huh?
--> '''Goku:''' [[LampshadeHanging Do you have a watch?]]
--> '''Freeza:''' No, why?
--> '''Goku:''' [[YouKeepUsingThatWord Do you know what a minute is?]]
--> '''Freeza:''' What? Of course I do!
--> '''Goku:''' I don't think you do...
--> '''Freeza:''' Bu--I--uh--
* Goku, deciding that Freezer's tougher at 100%, decides to 'Stratergize';
-->'''Goku:''' (thinking) ''I know! A distraction!'' Hey, look, Freezer! A giant dragon!
-->'''Freeza:''' What? (Sees Porunga) Well I'll be damned. Immortalityismine! (Flies off)
-->'''Goku:''' (thinking) ''Ohhh, I am become error.''
* Freeza's NonSequiturThud after being bisected:
-->'''Freeza:''' Daddy, I don't want to be on Namek anymore...
* Guru calling for Nail:
-->'''Guru:''' Nail! NAIL! NAAAAAAAAIL!
-->'''Piccolo:''' (thinking) I think he's looking for you.
-->'''Nail:''' Do ''not'' tell him I'm here.
-->'''Guru:''' Nail! I can sense you.
-->'''Nail:''' Donotmakeeyecontact!
* Freeza tries to finish Goku off with a Ki-enzan... only to have trouble controlling it.
-->'''Freeza:''' What are these, inverted controls?!
* Vegeta's flying towards one of the Ginyu squad's ships, and notices Goku and Freeza fighting. He notes that he will stay away from that.
-->'''Vegeta:''' (Sees Porunga) ''That'', however... Minemineminemineminemine-
* Goku [[CallBack kidney punching]] Freeza:
-->'''Goku:''' Bad touch! Kidney shot! Kidney shot, kidney shot, kidney shot, and pause... STOMACH PUNCH!
-->'''Freeza:''' Gonna whiz red.
** A blink and you miss it moment; when Freeza bear hugs Goku from behind and forces him to make kidney shots, [[CallBack he squeaks]].
* Vegeta saying "Lord Freeza!", which is what Cui did to distract Vegeta.
* Dende heals Piccolo:
-->'''Dende:''' May I hug you?
-->'''Piccolo:''' ''No!''
-->'''Dende:''' Oh...
-->'''Freeza:''' Now you're Super Saiyan soup! High in vitamin dumbass! Haha- huh? Oh god, what's up with the sky? This planet really ''is'' about to blow! I give it, like, two minutes tops! I better get to my ship- (''Gets hit by Goku'') Ahh! Stop that! Stop... not-dying!
-->'''Vegeta:''' HOPE YOU'RE READY TO PARTY, BECAUSE IT'S VEGETA C-(poof)
* Vegeta admits he killed a Namekian village, so they weren't brought back to live along with the other Nameks. Guru ''praises'' him for doing that, and admits he hates all the other Namekians... except one child. Cue dragon balls falling back down to earth and one crushing said child. Guru laughs.
* Goku slaps Freeza silly.
-->'''Goku:''' SAY YOU'RE SORRY! (repeatedly slaps Freeza's face, with particular slow motion focus to how his face looks each hit) ARE YOU SORRY YET?!
-->'''Freeza:''' I think I peed a little.
* Goku's and Freeza's VolleyingInsults:
-->'''Freeza:''' You're nothing but an overgrown monkey!
-->'''Goku:''' And you're nothing but an overgrown that thing Chi-Chi keeps in her drawer!
-->'''Freeza:''' Will you just piss off?
-->'''Goku:''' I don't have to use the bathroom!
[[AC:Part 3 of 3]]
* Goku's ''endless'' puns.
-->'''Freeza:''' AGH! My organs! Stay in there, stay in your home, daddy needs you!
-->'''Goku:''' Wow, Freezer, you really were a ''cut above the rest''. (Freeza groans) But too bad you ''didn't make the cut''. (Freeza groans harder) I guess you could call this a ''slice of life''.
-->'''Freeza:''' Please stop!
-->'''Goku:''' Alright, I'll ''cut you a break''. I gotta ''split''.
* Goku [[spoiler: finds [[CallBack the muffin button]]!]]
-->'''Goku:''' The controls! Where is it, where is it?
-->'''King Kai:''' It's about to blow!
-->'''Goku:''' Come on, come on! (finds the button) There! (presses it) [[spoiler: (Out comes... [[BrickJoke a muffin]].)]] Yes!!! [[spoiler:(keeps pressing button and more muffins pop up)]]
-->'''King Kai:''' ...''oh my god...''
-->'''Goku:''' ([[spoiler:muffins keep popping up]]) YAAAAAAAAYYYYY-- (Namek explodes)
* Tien [[LampshadeHanging lampshading]] how [[DeathIsCheap death is inconsequential]] in the Anime/DragonBallZ universe.
-->'''Tien:''' We're literally waiting to go back. Hell, this is Chiaotzu's second time.
-->'''Chiaotzu:''' Next time I get a free sundae!
** And later, when the two of them get wished back, [[BrickJoke he still wants that sundae.]] But he'll wait.
* Bulma relaying King Kai's message that Goku is dead and that Namek is gone.
-->'''Bulma:''' Well, uh... Gohan, Goku's dead...
-->'''Gohan:''' Dammit!
-->'''Bulma:''' Namekians, your planet blew up...
-->'''Namekians:''' (in unison) Dammit!
* When Dr. Briefs' ship arrives, Gohan senses a dark presence coming from it. Cue Chi-Chi dashing out of it.
-->'''Chi-Chi:''' (''with VoiceOfTheLegion'') WHERE'S MY BABY?!
* TheStinger, involving [[spoiler: Nappa returning to life, since everyone who was killed by Freeza and his men were wished back and Vegeta was working for Freeza when he killed Nappa. Also, Nappa becomes a Hollywood producer and is currently making an autobiographical film called [[Film/CitizenKane Citizen Nappa]]. With Mark Satan.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Nappa:''' Need to work on the first name, thinking Hercule...]]
** Also, the subversion to season 1's ending.
--->[[spoiler: '''Vegeta:''' GOD... damn it... Nappa.]]
** Close listeners will note the ringtone of [[spoiler: Nappa calling Vegeta]] is that of [[spoiler: [[CallBack Ghostbusters.]]]]
* Krillin's revival, still screaming in terror.
** And how Dende kept trying to get out of wishing him back.
* Dende declaring his love for [[spoiler: Gohan]] and when [[spoiler: Gohan]] is understandably stunned by this he freaks out and immediately has Porunga teleport all the Namekians from old Namek to the new Namek.
--> '''DrBriefs''': What a fa[[CurseCutShort **Cut to the ending music**]]
* The second stinger, available only at teamfourstar.com:
--> '''Mecha Freeza:''' [[RevengeOfTheSith What happened to Namek? What happened to the Dragon Balls]]?
--> '''King Cold:''' [[RevengeOfTheSith It seems]], [[CallBack my little princess]], [[RevengeOfTheSith in your anger, you destroyed them both]].
--> '''Mecha Freeza:''' [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]]
** Made better by King Cold's ultra-campy effeminate voice.
* Bulma asking Vegeta if he wants to stay at her place.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Only if it's got a pool!
* Bulma and Yamcha's telepathic spat, which ends by ''Tien breaking Yamcha's (good) leg.''
** And when Yamcha's wished back, [[ButtMonkey he falls into a pond.]]
--->'''Yamcha:''' Water in my cast! I'm gonna get gangrene!
* Bulma pointing out that perhaps summoning [[{{Kaiju}} Porunga]] in the middle of a major city is a bad idea. Cue
-->'''Random Citizens:''' (Screaming in terror) [[Franchise/{{Godzilla}} GOJIRA!!!!]]
** Which then turns into [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight the citizens just casually walking by while saying "Gojira" in mild interest.]]
* Dende asking if Porunga can grant them six wishes to save time.
--> '''Dende:''' Cause, we're just gonna bring you back in four months and do this crap again, plus we're just bringing some schmucks back to life.
--> '''Porunga:''' Well, it is unconventional, but considering the ease of these wishes, I will accommodate.
--> '''Dende:''' And a new planet.
--> '''Porunga:''' Now that is just a dick move!
--> '''Dende:''' Well, let's get the hard one out of the way. Build the Namekians a new Namek!
--> '''Porunga:''' ''({{beat}})'' Donezo!
--> '''Dende:''' Sweet!
* Also, Vegeta leaving [=CapsuleCorp=] in a spaceship, which the narrator describes as "doing what he does best."
-->'''Vegeta:''' Sayonara, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitches!]]
-->'''Dr. Briefs:''' Sonuvabitch took my scotch!
-->'''Bulma:''' Call me!
* The BrickJoke about how every place Namek looks exactly the same comes back in all its glory when Goku is trying to escape the explosion:
--> '''Goku:''' (thinking) Where am I? Where's my ship? Everything looked the same before, and now it’s all the same, but on ''fire''!
* Freeza asking Goku for help.
-->'''Freeza:''' As one neighbor to another, can you spare a cup of energy?
-->'''Goku:''' (''contemplating'') Well...
-->'''King Kai:''' (''telepathically'') NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
-->'''Tien:''' (''referring to King Kai not telling them about what's happening'') I'm not even asking anymore.
** And then Goku doing it anyway.
* Tien forcing King Kai to just narrate instead of doing dramatic gasps so someone else will ask a question. King Kai eventually just blurts it out when he can't get them to respond.
-->'''Tien:''' Was that so hard?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Episodes 31-]]
[[WMG:Episode 31]]
* Bulma cockblocking Yamcha by saying "No one screws Yamcha but [[ButtMonkey life]]!"
** Plus she points out Marron's similarity to her. "Blue hair? Real original."
* Krillin saying that Gohan is [[InnocentInnuendo pounding]] [[IncestIsRelative his mom's tuna]]. And Roshi cracking up each time.
** Double this when Chi-Chi comes to ask who started the rumor in the first place.
-->'''Chi-Chi''': Alright! I demand to know who has been spreading rumors that I have been forcing Gohan to, and I quote, '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis POUND. MY. TUNA!]]'''
-->'''Krillin''': Look Chi-Chi, if it really upsets you, [[InnocentInnuendo we'll all take turns pounding your tuna]], ok? But, [[UpToEleven only if we get to eat it together.]]
-->'''Roshi (Off-Screen)''': ...Heh heh heh HEH HEH! AAAAAAHAA! AAAA-
* When Krillin introduces his new persona to Gohan, the slightly deadpan reaction from Gohan is just hilarious:
-->'''Krillin (Off-Screen):''' Hey Gohan! Goin' fishin'?
-->'''Gohan (after catching four rare Paozu Tuna):''' Yup! With Dad gone, I'm the bread-winner now. ''(Seeing Krillin's new get-up)'' What's with the weird clothes, Krillin?
-->'''Krillin:''' Ah, ah, ah! My name is no longer "Krillin." My new name is ''"Juan Sanchez."''
-->'''Gohan (slightly deadpan):''' ...I'm compelled to ask ''"Why"''.
** Also, when Krillin explains why, Gohan's reaction:
-->'''Gohan:''' Wait, your last name's ''"Sanchez"''?
* "Goodbye Gonad, see you at Master Hoe-shi's!"
* ''TFS's [[TheWalkingDead The Walking Zed]]''
* Mr. Popo resolving the entire Garlic Jr. Saga in a few seconds by [[spoiler:assimilating Garlic Jr. and his henchmen like he did Blue Popo]].
** Popo's booty-call from earlier in the episode.
---> "[[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Jynx, Jynx, Jynx!]]"\\
'''Popo:''' "Shut up bitch, you love it!"
** And Kami's reaction:
--->"The last time he did that I found five corpses. He laughed when I said five."
*** There is also something oddly hilarious about Kami saying the phrase "booty-call".
*** I think it's just inherently funny for a ''god'' to use the phrase 'booty-call'. We'd laugh just as hard if it was one of the Kais, or Zeus even.
** Popo's explanation for why the lookout is a mess. He had Italian for dinner.
--> '''Kami''': What does that have to do with-
--> '''Popo''': 'CAUSE IT WAS NOTHIN' BUT GARLIC!
* KanyeWest's Gold Digger playing as Krillin and Maron drive away from Gohan's house
** Then The Guess Who's American Woman playing at Kame House.
* Piccolo and Kami's interactions. Nail gets into this.
--> Kami: You do know that [fusing] technique is forbidden, Piccolo.
--> Piccolo: Your face is forbidden!
--> Nail: That actually was the best one up here.
--> Piccolo: SHUT IT NAIL!
* The scene after the opening credits, where a narrator calmly tells the audience of a type of tuna that was nearly fished to extinction by the inhabitants in the area surrounding Lake Paozu, but is now slowly working its way to a sustainable population [[spoiler:, around that time, Gohan kills 4 of the fish by punching them out of the water]]
--> '''Narrator''': (Still speaking smoothly and calmly) "Oh sweet salty Christ no."
* Krillin learning that his girlfriend is actually [[spoiler: an undercover government agent investigating suspicions of him being guilty of insurance fraud]] His JawDrop will have you in stitches.
* Hearing the line "Bitch is a gold digger" in Turtle's voice.
* Oolong complaining about everyone celebrating Turtle's birthday when they never celebrated his. Everybody ignores him.
* Roshi warning everyone that the huge amount of candles on Turtle's birthday cake is a fire hazard. And then they light his beard on fire.
-->'''Roshi:''' MY BEARD! MY GLORIOUS BEARD! NO!
* Maron questioning whether if Yajirobe and Korin would have either little fat men or kitties for children.
-->'''Korin:''' [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs Probably fat kitties.]]
* Turtle wondering why Krillin's outside Roshi's house
-->'''Turtle:''' Why aren't you upstairs sleeping with your girlfriend like everyone else?
[[WMG: Episode 32]]
* Bulma TemptingFate:
-->'''Bulma''': He's probably running out of fuel soon, so ''(Vegeta's ship dropping into frame in the background and crashing)'' god knows if he'll ever make it back here.
-->'''Vegeta''': [[IncomingHam I'M BACK]], [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch BITCHES!!]]
* The exchange between Bulma and Yamcha at the beginning.
--> '''Yamcha:''' So, where did you bury me anyway?
--> '''Bulma:''' Bury? (cut to Yamcha's body still decaying in the pit he died in)
* Yamcha lampshading that he seems to be the ''only one'' bothered that the man directly/indirectly responsible for most of their deaths at some point, is currently showering in the other room and talking about living there.
* Bulma's parents continue to be a comedic duo of ditzy (Mrs. Briefs) and terribly racist (Dr. Briefs):
-->'''Mrs. Briefs:''' Sweetie! Roll out the cot, I think we have a visitor!
-->'''Dr. Briefs:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice Is he colored?]]
-->'''[[EyesAlwaysShut Mrs. Briefs:]]''' I'm not sure, [[LampshadeHanging I never open my eyes!]]
* Vegeta's encounter with Yamcha. He initially confuses him with a valet. After Yamcha reminds them that they previously fought, Vegeta reasserts that he only fought Goku, Nappa fought all the rest... [[NeverLiveItDown except the one scrub who lost to a Saibaman]]. Then Vegeta breaks out into laughter when he finds out he is the said scrub.
* Bulma demanding Vegeta takes a shower, because she can smell him from East City. Vegeta responds by saying [[NoYou he can smell her from East City.]]
* Vegeta's [[TheScream reaction]] upon discovering a [[RealMenWearPink certain item of clothing...]]
-->'''Vegeta:''' I swear, the only thing I hate more than weaklings [[TemptingFate is the color pink!]] ''{{beat}} {{beat}} {{beat}}'' '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!'''''
** Vegeta has a thing for TemptingFate in this episode.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Why don't all you idiots just start showing up?!
-->'''Krillin:''' Hey, Vegeta!
-->'''Vegeta:''' I WAS F**KING KIDDING!!
* The various fighters sensing Freeza approaching Earth.
-->'''Vegeta''': ''(slams a fist down on the table)'' Son of a bitch!
-->'''Yamcha''': What, are you still ticked off about the shirt?
-->'''Vegeta''': No, I'm - well yes actually, I'm absolutely livid - but that's not the point! That idiot Kakarot failed! FREEZA'S STILL ALIVE!
-->'''Tien''': Chiatzou, do you feel that? There are two enormous power levels approaching the planet.
-->'''Chiatzou''': Yeah, see, last time this happened...I blew myself up.
-->'''Tien''': Yeah. I was gonna ask you to hold off on that this time.
* Bulma's interactions with Vegeta are hilarious.
** For example, her forcing Vegeta to take a shower.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Earth woman! Where's the cleansing powder?
-->'''Bulma:''' We don't have that here. We have soap.
-->'''Vegeta:''' The hell is "soap"?
-->'''Bulma:''' It's that yellow block there made of animal fat.
-->'''Vegeta:''' That sounds awesome! *Chomp* Blagh! This tastes nothing like you just said!
** Immediately following that, the moment Yamcha reneges on his comment and admits Vegeta living there is "pretty neat":
-->'''Vegeta:''' Is that the ''beta-male''?
-->'''Bulma:''' No, [[ButtMonkey Krillin]] just got here.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Oh, God! They're breeding!
** And before those moments, after having put Vegeta's Saiyan Armor in the wash, Bulma sneaks a peek at his ass while he's in the shower (particularly noticing the spot where his tail used to be):
-->'''Bulma:''' ''(Walks out onto the deck where Yamcha and Krillin are)'' Ok, so I just got a look at Vegeta's ass, and besides being surprisingly nice, he's got this weird hole.
-->'''Yamcha:''' Uh, yeah, even boys have those, Bulma
-->'''Bulma:''' No, you idiot! I mean a hole above that one.
-->'''Yamcha:''' [{{Beat}}] You mean he's a chick?
* [[CallBack Nail having plans for building a house after Piccolo clears a glacier.]]
* Malfunctioning Freeza.
--> My God this is droll, we're so far out in the space-sti-sti-di-dicks that there's not even a Space Radio Shack. Much less a Space Best Buy-Buy-Buy-Buy-Circuit City.
* Krillin continues with the double entendres.
-->'''Gohan''': Now, are you sure it's him?
-->'''Krillin''': Gohan, once you've had a man inside of you, you know when he's coming.
* [[WesternAnimation/TheIncredibles Woman, where is my Saiyan Suit?]]
* Vegeta's infamous pink shirt having "Juicy" on the back of it.
* Yamcha losing it when Freeza and King Cold arrived. Follow by Krillin saying that if Yamcha wasn't doing that Krillin would.
** Also the Stinger.
* King Cold in general. He's calm, yet still a LargeHam at the same time. Also, he refers to Freeza of all people as a "darling, little angel".
* Freeza's GoldenSnitch.
--> '''Speaking of which... Soldiers, the scavenger hunt will proceed as such. Normal human heads are worth one point. Namekian heads are worth twenty. Filthy half-Saiyan brats: Fifty. And if you find any miserable, odious, insubordinate full-blooded monkey garbage... You win.
* Freeza sending all of his best men on a hunt to kill Goku's friends, giving point values to all of the different characters... and then his men promptly fall to the ground in pieces in Trunk's wake.
--> '''Trunks''': [[PreAssKickingOneLiner "So... how many points are those?"]]
* Vegeta saying "Y'all are [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitches]]."
[[WMG: Episode 33]]
* Trunks explaining that he's been ''practicing'' the DiagonalCut technique for some time.
** Freeza going into a full VillainousBreakdown at the sight of Trunks going Super Saiyan, with a brief flashback to Goku on Planet Namek (''[[BrickJoke "Pizza"]]'').
-->'''Freeza:''' No. No! NO! ''NO!!'' '''NO!!!''' '''KILL!!! MURDER!!! DESTROY!!!''' '''''[[Series/DoctorWho EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!!]]'''''
** Bonus points because the {{Leitmotif}} of the Daleks [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDaEQYEV-TA was playing.]]
** And after that, when it looks like the Death Ball Freeza launched at Trunks killed him... [[Disney/TheLionKing NAAAAAAAAAANTS INGONYAMAAAAAAA]]!
-->'''Trunks:''' Well, Freeza! Looks like you ''[[IncrediblyLamePun dropped the ball!]]'' ''(Freeza glares)'' Dropped the ball. ''(Freeza twitches)'' Drrrropped the ba- ''(Freeza fires at Death Ball)''
* Bulma starts hitting on Trunks. While calm on the outside, he is understandably [[TheScream screaming in his head.]]
--> '''Bulma''': So hey, like just gonna throw this out there. You're really cute.
--> '''Trunks''': Well, you know, my mom always said I was a cute kid.
--> '''Bulma''': Oh a momma's boy huh? [[RightForTheWrongReasons I'll be your mommy.]] *winks*
--> '''Trunks''': [''[[TheUnSmile Strained smile]]''] (thinking) '''[[ScreamingAtSquick AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]][[SickAndWrong AAAAAAAAAAA]][[ThisIsWrongOnSoManyLevels AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!]]'''
* Which is immediately followed by:
--> '''Krillin''': Can I have another Hetap?
--> '''Trunks''': (hysterically) YES! Yes you can!
** Bonus points for the internal scream being so loud that it actually is audible when Krillin starts speaking.
* And later, when Vegeta tries to figure out who Trunks is...
--> '''Vegeta''': ''If he's never met him before, how the hell does this kid know where Kakarot is going to land? And he can't actually be a damn Saiyan. Either he's a liar, or... maybe... wait a second!'' Did someone drink the last Hetap!? I'll kill you!
--> '''Krillin''': [[Film/TheThreeStooges Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoop!]]
* Freeza having a literal BSOD.
** Even better, the BSOD noise continues as the DiagonalCut happens, and it invokes the feel of dramatic Japanese drums reaching a crescendo.
*** Even more better, the BSOD screen reveals that Freeza is running on ''Windows 95'', which explains his malfunctioning.
** Hilariously, Kaiser Neko mentioned in a later podcast that there were many viewers who had been watching the episode full-screen and freaked out when the BSOD hit.
* The slogan on Vegeta's shirt gets increasingly suggestive as the episode goes on. Going from "Dum Cumpster" to "Pull My Hair" to "Blowjob Princess." Bonus point for Vegeta saying "I'm a real man!" while the shirt says "Blowjob Princess".
* Trunks' GPS.
---> '''GPS''': Fly 300 metres north-west, then land near [[MadLibsDialogue IDIOT ROCK]].
---> '''Trunks''': So that's what they called it before "Idiot Crater".
* Vegeta's reaction to learning that there is another Super Saiyan.
---> '''Gohan''': Guys, I think that person is a Super Saiyan.
---> '''Vegeta''': Like hell he is!
---> '''Krillin''': Spiky gold hair, incredible power...
---> '''Vegeta''': You don't know that he's a Super Saiyan. [[CommanderContrarian Maybe he's Super Human, huh?!]] Maybe you slackers haven't been trying hard enough!
---> '''Tien''': Says the ''non''-Super Saiyan.
---> '''Vegeta''': FUCK OFF!
* When Trunks offers everyone a drink.
--> '''Tien''': Isn't it a little early to start drinking?
--> '''Bulma''': Hey, 5 o'clock was 20 hours ago! *downs a can*
* When Vegeta refuses to trust Trunks' claim that Goku will arrive soon, Goku does just that.
--> "That could be anyone!"
* Vegeta instantly hating Trunks when he turns to them.
--> '''Trunks''': Hey guys!
--> '''Vegeta''': Fuck this guy!
** After that;
--> '''Trunks''': I'm about to go meet Goku, just follow me!\\
'''Gohan''': Wait, did he just say my dad?\\
'''Krillin''': Wait Gohan, we don't know if we can trust this guy.\\
'''Trunks''': I also brought snacks!\\
'''Krillin''': ...but the Bible does say love thy neighbour!\\
'''Gohan''': You're a Buddhist.\\
'''Krillin''': A ''hungry'' Buddhist.
* TheStinger with Bulma and Krillin's conversation about Trunks' "carpet matching the drapes", with Krillin revealing that [[BaldOfAwesome his does]].
--> '''Krillin''': It's called man-scaping.\\
'''Bulma''': It's weird.\\
'''Krillin''': It's hygienic.
* Poor Yamcha. He can never catch a break.
--> (''When Yamcha is questioning why they brought Bulma to the battle'')
--> '''Yamcha:''' Personally, I don't think Bulma should be here, a battlefield is no place for a lady.
--> '''Vegeta:''' ...And yet you're sticking around.
--> '''Yamcha:''' I'm serious, I worry about her safety, and as her close and personal friend, possibly the bestie, I think we need to-Aaagh!
--> (''Bulma grabs his ear.'')
--> '''Bulma:''' Anyone want to explain to Yamcha what ten pounds of torque does to a human ear?
--> '''Gohan:''' ...Rips it off?
--> '''Bulma:''' Very good, Gohan!
--> (''Everyone laughs'')
--> '''Krillin:''' (''laughter dies down'') Oooh... we're gonna fucking die.
* After Trunks asks Freeza why he has 'spare parts' coming out of him...
--> '''Freeza:''' Impudent little... These are not spare parts! What you are looking at is the ultimate culmination of science and nature!
--> '''Trunks:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, wow! I've... never seen that before.]]
* Freeza likes to play 'Pretty Pink Princess'.
--> '''Freeza:''' Daddy, I haven't done that since I was eigh-eigh-eigh- my quinceañera.
* When Trunks confronts Freeza, he invokes the NoPronunciationGuide (With an ounce of SpellMyNameWithAnS). It's Freeza and Cold's "WTF" reaction that sells it.
--> '''Trunks:''' So, you must be Frieza ("Fry-za").
--> '''Freeza:''' Actually It's Lord Freeza.
--> '''Trunks:''' Really? Then why is there an I in it?
--> '''Freeza:''' There isn't.
--> '''Trunks:''' Huh. Gonna have to fix that when I get back then.
* When Trunks goes Super Saiyan the rest of the cast conclude it's either Goku or... Freeza's mom.
--> '''Krillin:''' Who here just thought of Freeza with boobs? (awkward silence)
--> '''Krillin:''' Really? I'm the only one?
--> '''Vegeta:''' Yes! (thinking) ''He must never know.''
* In the opening, Freeza tries to narrate the disclaimer, but his VerbalTic gets so bad [[TakeThat (around saying Dragon Ball GT, no less)]] that King Cold ends up having to finish it for him. It gets better when Freeza's glitching stops and he says "Absalon", which refers to another fan-made Dragon Ball series.
* When the Z-Fighters finally arrive just in time for Trunks to finish off Freeza.
--> '''Krillin''': Where's Freeza! Oh, there he is...
--> (Trunks dices Freeza up and blows him up.)
--> '''Krillin''': And there...and there...(scorched piece of Freeza hits him in the head)...and here...Is that his brain?
** And after Trunks kills Cold and destroys their ship.
--> '''Krillin:''' Good work team!
* This little quick gem when Trunks properly meets the group.
-->'''Trunks''': Now I'm sure you're all wondering why I brought you here.
-->'''Krillin''': Snacks!
-->'''Yamcha''': To kill us!
-->'''Vegeta''': ''[[BreadEggsBreadedEggs To kill snacks!]]''
** Which, knowing Vegeta, is probably a legitimate response.
* Goku's return to Earth and finding out he's a ''liiiiiiiittle'' late to the party.
--> '''Goku''': GUYS WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME FREEZER'S HERE AND-(''Sees everyone cheering'')... Yaaaaaaaaay... ah ha... what?
* This hilarious exchange following Freeza's death
--> '''King Cold''': (angrily) You murdered my princess...! (calmly) Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
--> [{{Beat}}]
--> '''Trunks''': ...children?
--> '''King Cold''': Yeah!
--> '''Trunks''': Okay...sorta thought you'd be a little more pissed.
--> '''King Cold''': [[TranquilFury Oh, blindingly so]]. Mind if I see your sword?
--> '''Trunks''': What? Why?
--> '''King Cold''': I just wish to hold it.
--> '''Trunks''': No!
--> '''King Cold''': Oh, come on, be neighborly.
--> '''Trunks''': I'm not your neighbor. I also think I hate you.
--> '''King Cold''': Look, after what you did I can fit what's left of my son into a meat pie. ''Let me see your stupid sword!''
--> {{Beat}}
--> '''Trunks''': [sighs] Fine.
* Freeza's still a horrible boss, but Trunks plays off him SO WELL. After Trunks threatens to kill him...
--> '''Freeza''': Soldiers! Do your jobs.
--> '''Soldier''': Lord Freeza, with all due respect...
--> '''Freeza''': This sounds like insubordination.
--> '''Soldier''': [[OnlySaneMan He just turned an entire squad into a]] ''[[LudicrousGibs PILE OF LIMBS]]''.
--> '''Freeza''': And THAT sounds like it's not my problem.
--> '''Soldier 2''': Man, move your [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitchin' bitch ass over bitch!]] *uses scouter on Trunks* What, power level of five? Shit, [[MemeticMutation ain't nobody got time for that]]. *Shoots at Trunks, who easily deflects it into a [[RunningGag mount-plateau.]]*
--> '''Soldier 2''': Well that ain't right... *Falcon Punched by Trunks into Freeza's ship.*
--> '''Trunks''': Consider that a warning. Either leave now or die.
--> '''Freeza''': Ooh, is that an ultimatum? I love ultimatums! Here's mine. Either die to him or die to me! *Trunks takes a stance as the soldiers rush him...and slashes them all faster then can be seen. All the soldiers are still standing, immobile.*
--> '''Freeza''': What...What just happened?
--> '''Trunks''': [[{{Badass}} Give it a second.]]
--> '''Freeza''': No, really they're just...
--> '''Trunks''': No, no hang on... *Trunks sheathes his sword and the bodies all drop.*
--> '''Trunks''': Yeah, took me a whole three months to get that one down. [[{{Lampshaded}} They make it look a lot easier then it really is.]] *One soldier is shown still alive, visibly terrified of Trunks* REAL hard part was that guy's armor. *Said soldier's scouter breaks in half, and his armor follows suit as Trunks keeps talking.* Went through a dozen mannequins before I cinched that one. *The soldier backs away slowly from Trunks...*
--> '''Freeza''': You missed a spot. *impales the soldier with his arm.*
--> '''Soldier 3''': Lord Freeza... the [[PrecisionFStrike f*ck?]] *Freeza pulls his arm out and the soldier drops.*
* King Cold, about to be killed by Trunks, tries to bargain.
-->'''King Cold:''' We could work out a deal! I'll give you a planet! Three planets! Two and a half?
-->'''Trunks:''' You just went down.
-->'''King Cold:''' I'm a haggler...?
** Just before that, Trunks' "[[CurbStompBattle fight]]" with King Cold.
-->'''King Cold:''' (trying to get Trunks to give him his sword) Come on, be neighborly.
-->'''Trunks:''' I'm not your neighbor! ...I also think I hate you.
-->(Trunks eventually tosses the sword, King Cold tries to cut Trunks with it, who effortlessly catches it and powers up)
-->'''King Cold:''' Uh... still not sure if you hate me?
-->'''Trunks:''' Actually that pretty much sealed it. (blows a hole in King Cold's chest)
[[WMG: Episode 34]]
* Goku sees Trunks transform into a Super Saiyan the first time.
-->'''Goku:''' What happened to your hair? It's yellow!
-->'''Trunks:''' Um... so's yours.
-->'''Goku:''' ''It is?!''
* Goku is asked to explain how he survived Namek's explosion.
-->'''Goku:''' Muffin butto--
-->'''Gohan:''' Don't say muffin button!
-->'''Goku:''' But it ''was''! There's science and stuff.
** [[spoiler:Goku explains that he made so many muffins that they shielded from the blast and carried him to another planet.]]
* Bulma and Vegeta getting into some DestructoNookie. Also Vegeta's reaction to her question:
-->'''Vegeta''': [[spoiler:...the fuck's a condom?]]
** It should be noted that this is the first main-series use of an unbleeped and uninterrupted "fuck," making this also a PrecisionFStrike.
** Also Vegeta for some reason firing the [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Galick Gun]] during the, ahem, climax. And immediately following this, [[SmokingHotSex smoke from the hole it made can be seen]] going into the night sky.
** Also [[SlapSlapKiss their back-and-forth insulting each other]] [[BelligerentSexualTension before doing it]].
--->'''Bulma:''' Oh, no! The Prince is getting all huffy! [[CallBack What are you gonna do, try to blow up Earth again?]] Because I have Goku on speed dial.
--->'''Vegeta:''' You must be as stupid as he is if you think he knows how to work a phone!
--->'''Bulma:''' Don't you call me stupid!
--->'''Vegeta:''' Okay, then how about BITCH?!
--->'''Bulma:''' Arrogant dick!
--->'''Vegeta:''' Spoiled sow!
--->'''Bulma:''' F*** you!
--->'''Vegeta:''' F*** ''you''!
--->'''Bulma:''' F*** ''YOU''!
--->'''Vegeta:''' '''F***... YOU!'''
--->'''Bulma:''' ...my room, 10 minutes.
* How did they incorporate the infamous driving episode? Goku and Piccolo just suddenly decide to go for a joyride. The second of which they ditch training (and Gohan) for.
-->'''Goku''': Sooooo... Wanna go drive cars?
-->'''Piccolo''': Bitchin'!
** The first time has Goku singing "[[{{Music/ACDC}} Highway to]] [[GoshDangItToHeck HFIL]]" and the second time during TheStinger has Piccolo singing "[[CatchPhrase Dodge]], Bitch!" [[note]]Originally "Move, Bitch!" by Ludacris[[/note]]
* Trunks' farewell.
-->'''Trunks:''' ''(thinking)'' Father, I hope to get to know you a little better next time. Mother, [[{{Squick}} I hope to get to know you a little]] ''[[{{Squick}} less]]''.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Get the hell outta here!
* Goku's reaction to Trunks telling him he's Bulma and Vegeta's son. Piccolo's reaction to it really sells it.
-->'''Piccolo:''' Hahahahahahahahaha!
-->'''Vegeta:''' What's so funny!?
-->'''Piccolo:''' Your shirt!
-->'''Vegeta:''' Arrrrrrgh!
* Trunks introducing himself to Goku.
-->'''Trunks:''' (thinking) OK, Trunks. Don't be nervous. He's just a normal guy. Just introduce yourself.
-->'''Trunks:''' So, you're Sun Wukong, right? (thinking) Dammit!
-->'''Goku:''' I am Son Goku, yes.
-->'''Trunks:''' (thinking) Roll with it.
** This is actually a double joke. It's a reference to the [[JourneyToTheWest character Goku is loosely based on.]]
* In this series, Trunks reveals that Goku's death by heart attack is caused by high cholesterol.
-->'''Trunks:''' (to Goku) According to the coroner, too much bacon.
-->'''Goku:''' [[BerserkButton *turns Super Saiyan*]] '''[[TranquilFury You take that back.]]'''
-->'''Trunks:''' But listen. In the future, my mother has developed medication that will help level your cholesterol.
-->'''Goku:''' Is it grape-flavored?
-->'''Trunks:''' I don't know. Yes?
-->'''Goku:''' 'Cause I don't like grape.
-->'''Trunks:''' Then it's bacon-flavored.
-->'''Goku:''' Yaaay.
* A BlackComedy bit where while the other Z-fighters(except Goku) are killed by the Androids or [[InsistentTerminology cyborgs]], [[spoiler: Yamcha is DrivenToSuicide when he learns Bulma is pregnant with Vegeta's child.]] Goku's reaction to the news really sells it.
-->'''Goku:''' Dark.
** This exchange between Goku and Yamcha afterwards is a mix of hilarity and CrowningMomentOfHeartWarming
-->'''Goku:''' "Wait, Yamcha?"
-->'''Yamcha:''' "Yeah?"
-->'''Goku:''' "You're my friend."
-->'''Yamcha''' "Oh! Uh... thank you, man"
*** Also becomes MoodWhiplash when the driving scene mentioned above happens immediately afterward.
* Goku's confusion about whether God is Kami or King Kai. Later, when he learns who Future Trunks' parents are:
-->'''Goku:''' Oh, my Gamikai.
* The team comparing Future Trunks Super Saiyan status with Goku's Super Saiyan status:
-->'''Bulma:''' Blonde spiky hair...\\
'''Gohan:''' Incredible aura...\\
'''Krillin:''' Well, Vegeta, now that Goku's here to compare, we can finally say for sure that that kid's a Super--\\
'''Vegeta:''' Utter one more word, and no dragon alive will be able to fix what I do to you.\\
'''Krillin:''' ...So, Tien, have you been lifting? Because you are jacked.\\
'''Tien:''' Yeah. Who knows? Maybe ''I'll'' be the next Super Sayian.\\
''[Vegeta mutters {{Angrish}} at Tien]''
* Goku is the next to mention Vegeta's shirt.
-->'''Goku''': Oh, hey Vegeta! Nice shirt.
-->'''Vegeta''': I...''you..!'''
-->'''Goku''': Pink is a good colour on you!
-->'''Vegeta''': (thinking) ...Just take the compliment.
* The episode in general continued the trend of Tien managing to press all of Vegeta's buttons.
-->'''Vegeta:''' ...And I, [[BlatantLies as a Super Saiyan]], relish the challenge.\\
'''Goku:''' You're a Super Saiyan, Vegeta? Show me!\\
'''Vegeta:''' I... well... well I just... I--\\
'''Tien:''' Don't tell me, [[CallBack you're not in the mood.]]\\
'''Vegeta:''' What, does that third eye make you psychic?\\
'''Tien:''' No, but it does help me see bullshit.\\
'''Vegeta:''' Hey... [[ScrewYouGuysImGoingHome F*CK YOU!]]
* Gohan still hasn't worked out the art of dodging.
* Trunks' time machine using the [[Series/DoctorWho TARDIS]] sound effect.
** And [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=844_IkhcP-g The Doctor Forever]] was playing in that scene
* Piccolo explaining to Goku that he heard the whole conversation between him and Trunks.
-->'''Piccolo''': I heard everything.
-->'''Goku''': Please don't tell everybody.
-->'''Piccolo''': Ohohohoho I won't.
-->'''Nail''': I will.
-->'''Piccolo''': Shut up Nail.
-->'''Goku''': 'kay.
* When Goku accidentally launches Chi-Chi out of the house and through a tree.
-->'''Gohan''': DAD, RUN!
-->'''Goku''': WHAT?
-->'''Gohan''': THE WORST SHE CAN DO IS GROUND ME, NOW RUN!
** Before that, we had Chi-Chi's reaction to Goku wanting to take Gohan training:
-->'''Chi-Chi:''' LIKE HELL YOU WILL!\\
'''Goku:''' Oh, come on, Chi-Chi.\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' Don't you "Come on, Chi-Chi" me! You're gone off in God knows where space, refuse to let the dragon take you home, and the first thing you ask for when you get back? "Oh, hey, Chi-Chi, mind if I take our baby boy to go train to FIGHT SOME MONSTER ROBOTS?!"\\
'''Goku:''' [[InsistentTerminology Androids]]. And the first thing I asked about was dinner.\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' The answer is NO!\\
'''Goku:''' No to dinner or no to Gohan?\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' '''''BOTH!'''''
* "Look at my nipples, '''LOOK AT THEM!!'''"
** *Ship outside explodes* "AAH! My nipples!!"
* Gohan seems to be getting ''reeeeally'' tired of Goku's antics.
-->'''Gohan''': Wait, so the first thing we do after you get back, after being gone for a year and a half... is ''train''...
-->'''Goku''': I know, I'm excited too!
-->'''Gohan''' [[TranquilFury ...yea, ok.]]
* Goku testing out Instant transmission by stealing Master Roshi's sunglasses.
-->'''Roshi:''' GOKU JUST DONE STOLE MY GLASSES!
* When Goku comes back and wonders how everyone's alive, Bulma says it was Trunks. This exchange, happens.
--> '''Goku:''' Oh, if it ain't you, you old so-an-so! It's been so long since I, uh... I.... I mean... You...
--> '''Trunks:''' We've never met before.
--> '''Goku:''' Oh, thank God! Or Kami, or King Kai, I don't know that whole thing is screwy.
* And after Trunks leaves...
--> '''Goku''': What a nice young lady.
** This bit is even funnier considering how Goku's inability to identify gender was a running gag throughout most of ''Manga/DragonBall''.
* That Master Roshi was listening to "Sex Bomb" by Tom Jones when "Goku done stole [his] glasses!"
[[WMG: Episode 35]]
* Goku lets slip to Chi-Chi that he's taking Gohan to fight androids. One awkward silence later, a neat CallBack to the first few episode occurs.
-->'''Goku''': I'm taking Gohan, bye!
** Followed immediately by Chi-Chi screaming in the background as they fly-off.
** Also, Gohan's reaction to Goku messing up. You can tell he is tired of Goku's shit.
-->'''Gohan''': (exasperated) Three years Dad. You almost had it.
* Krillin compliments Bulma's boobs.
-->'''Bulma:''' (thinking) ''Just take the compliment.''
* "Cat loves food, yeah yeah yeah yeah."
-->'''Krillin:''' So...that song...
-->'''Yamcha:''' I was desperate and needed the money. And no, it wasn't worth it.
* The good guys point out that the tiny island is covered in a dense city - what do they even do there? "Apparently, prostitution is legal."
-->'''All:''' Oooooooooohhhhhhhh.....
-->'''Piccolo:''' So the prostitutes.
* Gero rips the engine out of a guy's car.
-->'''Driver''': Please put that back. I kinda need that to flee from you!
* Krillin's sex puns regarding Yamcha getting a hand through his chest.
-->'''Krillin:''' Huh. Guess there's a new kind of fisting in this city.
-->'''Krillin:''' Yeah, I get ya. I never have any energy after a handjob either. BA-DA-BA-BA-DA-BYE!
* Android #19's analysis of why they know about the Androids:
-->'''Android #19:''' "Analyzing... processing, processing complete. They are psychic, probability... 92.4%. THEY CAN SEE THE FYOO-CHURR."
* Android #19 executes [[OhCrap Murder.exe]]... and then crashes at 65% loading. And then asks Gero if he'd like to send an error report. Then does anyway when Gero says no.
-->'''Android 20:''' SON OF A WHORE! NOW TO WAIT FIVE MINUTES TO DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!
** Huh. Guess Freeza isn't the only one that's running on Windows 95.
* The entire argument between Bulma and Vegeta [[spoiler: after he gets her pregnant.]]
--> '''Bulma:''' You said you were wearing protection!
--> '''Vegeta:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I was wearing my armor!]]
--> **Beat**
--> '''Bulma:''' **Scoff** You're a moron.
* The CreditsGag lists [[spoiler: Brent Spiner]] as Android 19.[[spoiler: [[DontExplainTheJoke The joke is that it's a text to speech program they used.]]]]
* This bit comes up as Gero attempts to explain his backstory to Goku and the others. Gero's reaction after Goku speaks up is particularly amusing.
--> '''Gero:''' But allow me to shed a little light for you. For the last 14 years ever since the 22nd World Martial Arts Tournament...
--> '''Goku:''' Oh, I remember that one! I got hit by a car!
--> '''Gero:''' ....Indeed.
* Throughout the entire episode, Goku mentions that his chest hurts, clearly referring to the fatal heart failure he will suffer. Why is this funny? His issue is his high cholesterol from eating too much bacon. Near the end of the episode, Goku mentions he ate all of his pocket bacon on the way to the battlefield.
* This:
--> '''Krillin''' Oh, hey Gohan. You've barely grown since the last time I saw you, huh?
-->'''Goku''' It's funny! I think that every time I see you!
* The stoner skater. All of it. "Dude... are you holding?"
* The mechanical noises 19 and Gero make when they move give a nice touch.
* Tien's exasperation at Yamcha almost getting killed by the Androids. "Oh come on man! You couldn't last, like, 30 seconds!?"
** Earlier, Yamcha, hearing the screams, tries to convince himself that the others will be along shortly...[[ThisIsGoingToSuck only to realize that he has to check out the scene.]]
* Goku, trying to find the Androids, wonders, "If I were an android, where would I be?" before his train of thought becomes derailed. "Of course, if I were an android, it wouldn't change where I am, just ''what'' I am..."
* When Piccolo decides that the Z-fighters will have to search for the Androids in the city by hand, they all start complaining.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Episodes - Other]]
* [[http://teamfourstar.com/page-makeaman This is the best song ever.]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24Nf57XYUn8 This one is better.]]
* Nappa's year-long AreWeThereYet, which at first seems to come to a rather anticlimactic end ("Yay!") only to be brought back in a wonderfully unexpected way: "Is he here yet?"
* They turned Recoome into [[DwayneJohnson The Rock]].
** He's a mash-up of the Rock, HulkHogan, and JohnCena in one ball of wrestling hilarity.
** Apparently, as episode 20 shows, [[spoiler: Goku is HulkHogan.]]
* And then there's this:
-->'''Gohan:''' I swear, I don't even know what's going on anymore.
* Guru has two words for everyone.
--> '''Guru:''' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmPW0bhWIiY Drop it!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Movies]]
[[WMG:Bardock - Father of Goku Abridged]]
* Bardock is only slightly better a parent than Goku:
--> '''Bardock:''' Hey there, Kakarrot. It's your daddy! Let's see what kind of power level we've got here... Alright, whoa ho ho ho! Ten-thousand! That's my boy! *sees name plaque* ...Wait, Broly...?
** Even better is the set-up to that. Bardock at first doesn't give a damn when the doctor asks if he wants to see Goku, noting that he never paid attention to [[ButtMonkey Raditz]] when he was growing up. The doctor answers, "And we all know how ''he'' turned out," followed by a GilliganCut to the above line.
* Another from the Bardock special:
--> '''Gohan:''' Someone threw out a perfectly good baby! I think I'll name you... [[{{Superman}} Clark]].
* Bardock witnessing the future of his son Goku... in a scene from ''[[CanonDiscontinuity Dragon Ball GT]]''. "...And now I welcome the sweet embrace of death."
** "Well, I'd say I should've seen this coming, but that would be ironic."
* The RunningGag of Bardock's psychic powers kicking in at the wrong time.
--->'''Bardock:''' [fighting Dodoria's henchmen, thinking] I can't believe [my team] lost to these guys! What a bunch of- OH SWEET CRAP NOT AGAIN!
--->'''Goku:''' Kaio Ken!
--->'''Bardock:''' (Back in his own time) Kaio what? ([[TalkToTheFist Punched in]] [[RunningGag the face]] by something completely different)
*** "[[UselessSuperpowers USELESS-ASS PSYCHIC POWERS]]!!!"
** Mr. Popo's cameo as Bardock first gets his ability to see the future.
** This exchange
--->'''Dodoria:''' I think that Bardock's a pretty cool guy.
--->'''Zarbon:''' [[MemeticMutation He conquers planets and doesn't afraid of anything]].
--->'''Freeza:''' Doesn't afraid of anything ''indeed''.
* The ''whole exchange'' between Nappa and young Prince Vegeta.
-->'''Nappa:''' Vegeta!
-->'''Vegeta:''' What is it, Nappa?
-->'''Nappa:''' Well, I've got good news... aaaaand bad news. The ''bad'' news is... *rushed* ''reports say our entire planet has been destroyed by a gigantic meteorite along with all its inhabitants.''
-->'''Vegeta:''' Ah- But- What about-?!
-->'''Nappa:''' Aaand your father.
-->'''Vegeta:''' My. Whole. Family. My race!
-->'''Nappa:''' But the good news is ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice we're going to Dairy Queen!]]''
-->'''Vegeta:''' My entire race is gone!
-->'''Nappa:''' ''DAAIIIRY QUEEN!''
-->'''Vegeta:''' ...Just take me to the damn queen, Nappa.
-->'''Nappa:''' Yaaay! This seems like the beginning of a bee-yootiful friendship.
* '''Toolo:''' "[[NoIndoorVoice I CAN SEE THE]] '''[[NoIndoorVoice FYOOO]]'''-[[NoIndoorVoice CHURRRR]]!!!!!!"
** [[NoIndoorVoice OH, NO! THEY CAN SEE ME!!]] [[NoIndoorVoice I HAVE TO STOP YOU FROM DESTROYING MY RACE!]] [[NoIndoorVoice IN THE]] '''[[NoIndoorVoice FYOOO]]'''-'''[[NoIndoorVoice CHURRRR!!!!!]]'''
*** "Um, we already did that." *{{beat}}* [[NoIndoorVoice "I KNEW YOU'D DO THAT!" NOW I HAVE TO KILL YOU! NOW YOU, TOO, CAN SEE THE FYOOO-CHURRRR!!!!!]]
*** [[NoIndoorVoice I'M ON FIRE!!!]]
* The special addresses something that was overlooked in the original. As Bardock declares their independence from Freeza, hundreds of Freeza's men are behind him. In this version, they have the presence of mind to object to his all-inclusive terminology.
-->"This man does not speak for us. [...] Seriously, we're not with him."
* A cameo after Planet Vegeta is destroyed.
-->'''Sauza:''' Monsieur Cooler! It seems that your brother is destroying the planet Vegeta!
-->'''Cooler:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Very impressive, killing off a bunch of monkeys.]] Any liquored-up hillbilly with a shotgun could've done that at the zoo.
-->'''Sauza:''' ''[sees Goku's pod]'' Wait, sir! It seems he has missed one ship! We are in range to intercept-
-->'''Cooler:''' No. Let it go.
-->'''Sauza:''' But, why?
-->'''Cooler:''' Because, [[spoiler:I'm a prick.]]
* When Bardock's fighting the last two of the group that killed his teammates, he pulls off some DeadlyDodging to get one to bury his fist in the other, prompting the injured one to call the other a "[[RedVsBlue Team killing fucktard!]]"
[[WMG:Christmas Tree of Might]]
* The entirety of "Christmas Tree of Might". Especially the end.
--> '''Vegeta:''' This is so non-canon, it hurts.
--> '''Ghost Nappa:''' ''Vegeeeeeeta!'' Tonight, you will be haunted by three ''ghoooooosts!'' (Appears) And they're all me. (Soon, two more Ghost Nappas show up.)
-->'''Ghost Nappas''' (simultaneous): Hi!
--> '''Vegeta:''' Goddamnit, I hate Christmas.
** The "mouth present" thing.
---> '''Goku:''' Well, what am I getting for Christmas?
---> '''Chi-Chi:''' The same thing as last year, Goku.
---> '''Goku:''' Oh, so that thing you do with your mouth...
---> '''Chi-Chi:''' NOT IN FRONT OF GOHAN!
*** And later...
----> (Gohan is transformed into a Great Ape)
----> '''Goku:''' Oh, man! If Chi-Chi finds out about this, I might not get mouth present.
* The wish Krillin makes [[spoiler: which causes the events of the special.]] Thank you, Krillin and thank you [[JackassGenie Shenron]].
* Shenron's jackassness is hilarious.
--> '''Shenron:''' No! No way! No, not you again! HAS IT EVEN BEEN A YEAR?!
--> '''Oolong:''' It's been one year, 2 months and 50...
--> '''Shenron:''' SHUT THE HELL UP!
* Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell [[CrowningMusicOfAwesome ROCK THE DRAGON, DRAGON BALL Z!]]
* [[OneSceneWonder This:]]
--> '''Piccolo:''' [[SouljaBoy Bitch, you look like Goku.]]
--> '''Turles:''' And ''you'' [[CallBack look like a Yoshi.]]
--> '''Piccolo:''' I get that. Now hand over the kid [Gohan].
--> '''Turles:''' You want this kid?
--> '''Piccolo:''' I want him!
--> '''Turles:''' You want this kid?
--> '''Piccolo:''' I want him!!
--> '''Turles:''' You want this kid?
--> '''Piccolo:''' '''I want him!!'''
--> '''Turles:''' You want-you want?
--> '''Piccolo:''' '''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesaA I WANT THAT KID!!]]'''
* Goku singing while Chi-Chi is lecturing Gohan.
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' Goku, stop that or I'll deck you in the halls!
* "Did I just smash the Krampus?"
* "Falalalalalalala'''DIE'''."
* [[BerserkButton "YOU NEVER WASTE FIGGY PUDDING!"]] *beatdown ensues*
* Goku's attempt to reason with the tree.
-->'''Goku:''' Big tree, if you don't leave right now, I'm going to beat you up.\\
'''Yamcha:''' Goku, trees can't talk.\\
'''Amond:''' (Offscreen) Why don't you come up here and ''try it''.\\
'''Yamcha:''' [[GivingUpOnLogic Ya know what, f*** it, I don't care anymore]].
* Yamcha's [[CurbStompBattle "fight"]] with Cacao:
-->'''Cacao:''' [[RoboSpeak Singing]]: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVZxKtnUtDk Yamcha the Scarfaced Bandit]].\\
'''Song:''' ''But do you recall, the most useless fighter of all...''\\
'''Yamcha:''' Go to hell! *throws a Spirit Ball, which misses*\\
'''Yamcha:''' *trying to redirect the Spirit Ball, and still missing* Oh. Come. On. Come. On. Damn. You.\\
'''Song:''' ''Yamcha the Scarfaced Bandit, always beaten by his foes...''\\
'''Cacao:''' Do you require assistance?\\
'''Yamcha:''' *still trying to redirect the Spirit Ball* Shut. Up. You. *the Spirit Ball finally hits* YES! TAKE THAT MOTHERFU- *Cacao knocks Yamcha to the ground*\\
'''Song:''' ''...and if you saw this guy fight, you would even say he blows.''\\
'''Cacao:''' Agreed.
* Related: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrHoJ_UBnRk Yamcha the Scar Faced Bandit]] in full. Particularly when [[ButtMonkey Krillin]] manages to smack talk him.
* Turles' rant against Christmas in front of Gohan, mainly because of the voice, the way he was speaking, and [[TheGrinch who he is quoting]].
** Also the previous, nefarious misdeeds of his mooks, including [[BestialityIsDepraved raping Rudolph]].
* As horrible as the implications are, it just crosses so many lines it ends up on funny.
-->'''Slay:''' You know, you look like one of the kids I let sit on my lap once. 'Course, he was a cancer patient. Asked me if I could get rid of his cancer.\\
'''Krillin:''' Oh God, this is going exactly where I think it is, isn't it?\\
'''Slay:''' So I blew him up! [[ExactWords No more cancer]]!\\
'''Krillin:''' God, you are one of the worst mall Santas ever. Right behind those ones that molest kids.\\
'''Slay:''' ''*{{Beat}}*'' So I'm the worst mall Santa.\\
'''Krillin:''' Oh come on!
[[WMG:Lord Slug Abridged]]
* From the Lord Slug movie, we have Piccolo's interaction with Slug's minions.
--> '''Piccolo:''' Alright, what's your gimmick?
--> '''Minion:''' Gimmick?
--> '''Piccolo:''' Yeah, like the last guys, they were all misfit minions and crap, what're you?
--> '''Angira:''' We're just here for your planet. Though if I had to choose, I'd say I'm the pretty one.
--> '''Piccolo:''' Eh, 6 out of 10.
--> '''Angira:''' ''You sassy bitch.''
--> '''Piccolo:''' That makes you the weird one with the freaky power.
--> '''Medamatcha:''' I can spawn mini-mes'!
--> '''Piccolo:''' (sarcastically) ''Spectacular''. And that would make you no doubt the big, tough, stupid one.
--> '''Dorodabo:''' [[IResembleThatRemark You take that back or I'll kill you!]]
--> '''Piccolo:''' Alright, alright, you're not tough.
--> '''Dorodabo:''' That's better.
--> '''Gohan:''' Didn't you just...
--> '''Piccolo:''' Give him a minute.
-->*The minion thinks to himself...*
--> '''Dorodabo:''' HEY! You son of a bitcccccccccccch!
--> '''Piccolo:''' Now, now, that truck is NOT your eating disorder.
--> '''Dorodabo:''' You're a penis!
--> '''Piccolo:''' So long since you've seen yours, you don't even recognize one do ya?
** The truck returns in this gem delivered after Goku has been impacted into the ground like a vegetable.
--->'''Slug:''' You know, there's a certain sport I excel at.
--->'''Goku:''' *muffled due to being underground* What's it called?
--->'''Slug:''' *plucks Goku out by the leg* Competitive [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch BITCH TOSS!]] *hurls Goku into a truck*
* Lord Slug gets his youth back. His response is priceless
--> '''Slug''' Lord Slug the Almighty has returned! My youth, my Strength, my impeccable singing voice
** Scenechange to a dark cloud going over the world
--> '''Slug''' "I see trees of brown, and skies of black, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world!"
* After Piccolo rips his own ears off in order to avoid being affected by [[WeaksauceWeakness Gohan's whistling]], he keeps yelling "WHAT?" every time he thinks someone is talking to him, even when nobody's talking back. He later combines it with the Kaio-ken RunningGag:
-->'''Goku:''' Kaio-ken!
-->'''Slug:''' Kaio--
-->'''Piccolo:''' [[SubvertedTrope WHAT?]]
** It's doubly funny coupled with the fact Piccolo's BigDamnHeroes moment was accompanied by StoneColdSteveAustin's theme music; later in his career "WHAT?" became something of a catchphrase for him.
** Also comes back during the credits.
* Vegeta watches Krillin get pasted on TV and records the moment.
-->'''Vegeta:''' And the Emmy goes to...
-->'''Goku:''' [[SayMyName KRILLIN!]]
* Goku thinking it's Christmas for most of the movie. Because it's snowing!
** "I AM CHAMPION CHRISTMAS!"
* Piccolo and Nail's conversation at the beginning of the movie. (Nail is in Piccolo's head, even though he wouldn't have been at the time, but the movie doesn't really fit into continuity anyway.)
-->'''Piccolo:''' The Kamehameha doesn't drill things!
-->'''Nail:''' Last time I checked, neither do cannons.
-->'''Piccolo:''' THAT'S what makes it SPECIAL.
-->and
-->'''Nail:''' Who's that?
-->'''Piccolo:''' It's just Gohan. If you ignore it, it'll go away.
-->Also
-->'''Nail:''' So you just ignore all of your problems?
-->'''Piccolo:''' No, some I invite to live inside my ''head.''
* How Goku seems more worried about trivial things when landing on Iguana Street, than the actual fight.
-->'''Goku:''' Aw great Iguana Street, now I'm gonna get mugged. But the joke's on them! I have no mo-*Gets punched through wall.*
* The OverlyLongGag where Dorodabo repeatedly gets knocked off a building by Piccolo.
-->'''Dorobado''': Alright, come in from the left... he'll never see th- *POW!* Ah, he saw it coming! Alright, I'll just wait for him down here!
-->'''Piccolo''': Hey, how's it going?
-->'''Dorobado''': Hey, I'm just waiting for that green jerk to come down here so I can surprise him!"
-->'''Piccolo''': Neat.
-->'''Dorobado''': Yeah! He'll never see it co- [[OhCrap oh]]. *POW!*
* Goku's song while charging the Spirit Bomb.
--> '''Goku:''' Sun, sun, Mr. Golden Sun, kill my enemies!
* Piccolo's master plan against Lord Slug:
--> '''Piccolo:''' ''*standing on Slug's head*'' Hey. Name's Piccolo. I've got your antennae! Whatcha gonna do about it, huh?
--> ''*Slug grabs him*''
--> '''Piccolo:''' Aha! I ''knew'' you would do that! Now for phase two of my master plan! ''*tears off ears*'' AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!
--> '''Lord Slug:''' What the hell is ''wrong'' with everyone on this planet!?
* Medamatcha in general.
--> "Papa Medamatcha gonna make you his bitch!"
--> "What, bitch, I'm talking to you! I will smack you with my dick!"
** Everything he says is hilarious.
---> "Oh, I don't give a shit what Christmas is now. I just know I'm going to kill it, and then my little Matcha's are going to [[NoIndoorVoice RAPE]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice IT]]!"
* Squeaky Toy!Goku returns!
-->'''Slug:''' This is amazing!
-->'''Goku:''' Why does everyone keep doing that...? Those are my lungs...being crushed by my ribs...!
* Along with the CallBack when Lord Slug reveals himself to be a Namekian.
-->'''Goku:''' Hold on a minute. I know now! I know what he is! He's a-\\
'''King Kai:''' Do ''not'' say Yoshi!\\
'''Goku:''' ...I'mma still think it.
* This exchange.
-->'''Popo:''' *Hums* What?
-->'''Kami:''' Mr. Popo are you torturing a cat?
-->'''Popo:''' Oh come on Kami, I don't torture [[FalseReassurance cats]].
-->({{Beat}})
-->'''[[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Jynx]]:''' Jynx! Jynx!
-->'''Popo:''' Bitch, shut up!
* Slug's FamousLastWords.
-->'''''WHY DIDN'T I WISH FOR IMMORTALITY!?'''''
* And then we have TheStinger, when we find out that [[spoiler: not only is Lord Slug the result of a split from Guru, but Guru is Lord Slug's EVIL half]].
[[WMG:Revenge of Cooler Abridged]]
* An awkward moment involving Krillin's cooking:
-->'''Oolong:''' Wow, that smells fantastic! What's in there?
-->'''Krillin:''' Oh, just some essentials: carrots, potatoes, porrrrrrrrr-''[[[CarnivoreConfusion looks straight at Oolong]]]''-[[CrossesTheLineTwice poise]].
** Then the punchline, when Sauza spills the beans:
--->'''Oolong:''' Rot in hell, Krillin, I almost ate that!
* The fish:
-->'''Magic fish:''' Halt, stalwart stranger! If you let me go, I shall grant you one wish.
-->'''Goku:''' I wish for you to be my dinner!
-->(''screaming and beating noises'')
* Goku continues to be a terrible parent:
-->'''Goku:''' [talking to a pair of mooks] You get away from my food, my friend [Krillin], my two emergency foods [Oolong and Icarus], and my son! In that order.
** Then there's his "if I ever have a son" line to Cooler.
* Krillin pointing out that Gohan and Goku don't need his help.
-->'''Krillin''': Wait why do you need [[ButtMonkey my]] help? Can't Goku [[PersonOfMassDestruction bench press a planet]]?
-->'''Gohan''': Krillin, move the damn rocks!
* Cooler's response to learning Freeza's dead:
-->'''Cooler:''' Well I sure hope somebody picks up that phone. [{{beat}}] Because I f***ing called it.
* Sauza is from Space France. This results in lines like:
-->'''Sauza:''' Monsieur Cooler! Your brother... Lord Freeza... he has been... ''le killed!''
** Or, when he tries to blast Goku:
--->'''Sauza:''' ''Le'' suck it, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!]]
** And, this gem:
--->'''Sauza:''' Qu'est-ce que fuck.
** And, after leveling a forest:
--->'''Sauza:''' And now, ze perfect place for a shopping mall! It will have a cigarette shop, a baguette restaurant, ze Napoleon Museum, and a movie-theatre only showing films starring JeanReno. Ho-ho! I'm French!
** Finally, the punchline when [[spoiler: Sauza is killed]]
---->'''Sauza:''' ''I will see you in space hell... [[spoiler: Cousin Jeice.]]
* When the villains ambush Krillin, Gohan, Icarus, and Oolong:
-->'''[[ButtMonkey Krillin]]:''' *referring to Doore* Gohan! Look out! Its [[TheIncredibleHulk the Hul-]]! *gets knocked out* - [[NonSequiturThud Lololololoo...]] ''*thud*''
-->'''Gohan:''' Krillin! *tail gets grabbed* ''Goodbye, muscle control.''
* When Cooler's guys do their Super Sentai poses:
-->'''Goku:''' [{{Beat}}] I am having the worst case of ''Deja Mustard'' right now.
* Right after Cooler shows up, Gohan and the others are flying in to help Goku when:
-->'''Gohan:''' Dad! We're coming to help!
-->'''Cooler:''' (to Goku) Oh, is that your son?
-->'''Goku:''' ...Yeaaah?
-->'''[[SophisticatedAsHell Cooler]]:''' Imma kill it.
-->'''Goku:''' Don't you do it.
-->'''Cooler:''' Imma do it.
-->'''Goku:''' Don't you do it.
-->''Cooler uses EyeBeams at Gohan''
-->'''Goku:''' DANG IT! ''*flies in to take the hit for Gohan*''
* Icarus and Oolong waking up Krillin.
-->''SoundEffects of Icarus licking Krillin's face''
-->'''Krillin:''' Oh. Oh yeah. That's right Maron... Lower... Lower...
-->''*Krillin suddenly wakes up*''
-->'''Krillin:''' Wha?! Icarus?! [{{Beat}}] I didn't say stop.
-->[then later]
-->'''Goku:''' Krillin, what smells like dragon's breath?
-->'''Krillin:''' Shame, Goku. Lots and lots of shame.
* When Krillin tells Gohan to fly to Korin's tower on Icarus to pick up some Senzu beans for Goku:
-->'''Gohan:''' Wait, why am I going?
-->'''Krillin:''' Because the last time I hung out with him, [[OutOfFocus I completely forgot what his name was]] and kept calling him "Whiskers the Wonder Cat" the whole time... It was really awkward.
* Yajirobe and Korin's [[LikeAnOldMarriedCouple entire argument]], especially the end. "I'm not ready for kids!"
* Goku's dream, which rivals Krillin's in its weirdness:
-->'''Goku:''' Oh yeah. That's right Chi-Chi... Pour that maple syrup... All over my breakfast. You beautiful lady who lives in my house...
* When Piccolo confronts the three villains.
-->'''Piccolo:''' OK, I think I got this one. *points at Sauza* Pretty one. *points at Doore* Stupid one. *points at Neiz* One with weird powers.
-->'''Doore:''' Oi! I appreciate that, but I say I'm more handsome than pretty.
-->'''Sauza:''' And my powers are not that weird.
-->'''Neiz:''' *Roars unintelligibly*
-->'''Piccolo:''' *{{Beat}}* OK, I take it back, you're all stupid.
* Nail gives color commentary during Piccolo's fight with Sauza (still living in his head), primarily with a lot of ''StarWars: ReturnOfTheJedi'' references.
* Goku goes Super Saiyan, and we get a CallBack:
-->'''Goku:''' Not going anywhere for a while? Grab a Snickers.
-->'''Cooler:''' ...I can't help but think we're both missing some context here.
* Goku ''destroys the sun.'' But that's okay.
-->'''Mr. Popo:''' Uh, hold on a sec... *The sun flickers back into existence*
* And then there's this:
-->'''Cooler:''' I'MMA PLANT ME A DUMBASS TREE! (Punches Goku into the ground)
* Right before Cooler lobs his Supernova at Goku...
-->'''Cooler:''' By the way, before I throw this thing, did my brother do this?
-->'''Goku:''' Yeah but his was a lot smaller.
-->'''Cooler:''' KNEW IT! '''HA!'''
* Cooler's introduction counts as well:
-->'''Goku:''' FREEZER!
-->'''Sauza:''' Ha! You sink this is Freeza? No. He is... ''Cooler''
-->'''Goku:''' Cooler than Freezer? You must be ice cold!
-->'''Cooler:''' No, that would be my father.
* Sauza mistakes Goku's PowerLevel as Oolong's
-->'''Sauza:''' What? Who's power level is that? It's going off the scale! But the only one in there was the giant monkey and the pig. Sacre Bleu, could it be...the [[ComicallyMissingThePoint legendary Super Swine]]!?
* Goku telling Gohan that he wants to eat Icarus.
-->'''Gohan''': You won!
-->'''Goku''': Yep, and we all pitched in. Cept' Icarus. C'mere, Goku's hungry!
-->'''Gohan''': Wait, what are you-
-->'''Goku''': I WANNA EAT YOUR DRAGON!
** Later on
--->'''Goku''': ...No seriously, give me your dragon.
[[WMG:Episode of Bardock]]
* Bardock has a delayed realization. During his fight with Chilled.
-->'''Bardock:''' Hey! What year is it!?
-->'''Chilled:''' 2222!
-->'''Bardock:''' BC or AD?
-->'''Chilled:''' ...the hell are those?
-->'''Bardock:''' (deadpan) I'm in the f***ing past.
** The sheer shark-jumping of this moment causes him to go Super Saiyan.
--->'''Bardock:''' Of all the STUPID! ''(head-desks on the ground)'' ASININE! ''(punches ground)'' [[JumpingTheShark Shark-jumping]] bullshit! ''(head-smashes again, and turns Super-Saiyan in rage.)''
* During the opening, Freeza and co bring up callbacks from the earlier movie. Bardock's reactions are beautiful.
-->'''Freeza:''' You know, the funny thing is, Bardock, even if you had seen this coming, there's nothing you could have done about it.
-->'''Bardock:''' You don't... you have no goddamned idea.
-->'''Zarbon:''' Mm, and even if you'd told every single Saiyan, none of them would have believed you.
-->'''Bardock:''' Just... please stop talking.
-->'''Dodoria:''' And you never got a chance to say goodbye to your son.
-->'''Bardock:''' I have one of those? *realization* ''Oh god, I have TWO of those!''
** Bardock also shows that he is in fact Gohan's grandpa.
--->'''Freeza:''' Consider this downsizing on a global scale! You can pick up your unemployment checks wherever you end up.
--->'''Bardock:''' Go to hell! *throws energy blast*
--->'''Freeza:''' See, that was my first guess. *throws Death Ball, which absorbs Bardock's attack*
--->'''Bardock:''' Aw, crapbaskets.
* Every single past Saiyan is named for a different rapper. And they all sound like Kermit the Frog. And Bardock's sheer unbridled hatred for them knows no bounds.
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' Hi ho! We found you near death and in a valley not far from here. We helped bring you back to health with our magical healing S.P.O.O.G.E.
-->'''Bardock:''' *shocked and disgusted gasp*
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' '''S'''uper '''Po'''lym'''o'''rphic '''U'''nleashing '''Ge'''l. We brought you to our town in our pleasant, serene little planet. My name is Dray, and this is my child Twopock. Say hi ho, Twopock.
-->'''Twopock:''' Hi ho! Where are you from?
-->'''Bardock:''' (calmly) There is nothing about this whole scenario that doesn't make me so disgusted I want to violently vomit out my own internal organs. I despise you both so intensely that I can't tell if my vision is blurry from my near-death experience or from my unforgiving rage. If allowed, once I am back to full health, I will gut you with an honest-to-god smile on my face, and then proceed to paint the home I build with your bodies with your very blood.
-->'''*{{beat}}*'''
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' You hear that Twopock? You've made a friend.
-->'''Twopock:''' YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
** What makes this one even funnier is that Twopock's line is JumpCut directly into an explosion so for a second it feels like Bardock actually did kill them before shown otherwise.
* And later, after saving the village...
-->'''Saiyan:''' Hooray! Everyone give praise to our new violent savior!
-->'''All:''' [[WesternAnimation/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas Dah who dor-aze! Fah who dor-aze...]]
-->'''Bardock:''' NO! None of that! Shame on you!
** This is repeated later when Chilled and his minions arrive in the village asking for Bardock.
--->'''Saiyan:''' All hail the violent saviour!
--->'''All:''' [[WesternAnimation/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas Dah who dor-aze...]]
--->'''Chilled:''' NO! None of that! Shame on you!
** The look of sheer shock the Saiyans show when Chilled tells them "None of that!" is absolutely hilarious.
* Later, when Dr. Dray can be seen healing another resident.
-->'''Rizza:''' Thank you Dr. Dray, your Spooge has cured my syphilis.
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' *happily* You are welcome, Rizza.
-->'''Rizza:''' Well, back to what I was doing before!
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' Oh, you are just incorrigible.
-->*Chilled and his soldiers walk into the village.*
-->'''Soldier:''' Hello, we are the Space Police.
-->'''Aice Qube:''' *offscreen* Man, [[PrecisionFStrike BLEEP]] the police!
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' *annoyed* Not now, Aice Qube!
-->'''Solider:''' We are here to catch evil space criminals and various other ne'er do wells.
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' I can assure you that we have already exiled Khris of the clan Brown from our planet.
* Bardock schools Chilled's minions on how to intimidate a village.
-->'''Bardock:''' Seriously? This is how you intimidate a village? Blow up a house or two? I don't even think you killed anyone with those pea-shooters. Speaking of which, what models are those, they look ancient.
-->'''Soldier:''' Heeey, we were gonna kill one of the sick ones if they didn't comply.
-->'''Bardock:''' *sarcastically* Oh, ''kill one of the sick ones.'' What're you going to do next, waterboard the elderly?
-->'''Soldier:''' Look buddy, we didn't come here to be judged by you.
** This is again revisted during the Stinger during the credits, where Bardock actually ''[[EvilerThanThou instructs the villains]]'' on how to do PROPER villainy! It also includes a joke from the Ocean Dub.
--->'''Bardock:''' Seriously, you want to learn how to traumatize a village? Ok. See that kid over there? ''Bardock is shown blowing him up.''
--->'''Saiyan:''' RDP, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
--->'''Bardock:''' You hear that mother? THAT... is distraught.
--->'''Solider:''' ...You should write a book. You're like a brilliant scientist!
--->'''Bardock:''' Well, I ''am'' working on this fake moon thing.
*** To explain, the Ocean Dub has Vegeta credit Bardock for the creation of the Saiyans' false moon technique, even though this has no basis in canon.
* Chilled's hamminess is enough to send anyone into hysterical laughter.
-->'''Chilled:''' And nooow yououou diiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeee!
* And when the future Pineapple is informing Chilled of his two soldiers' deaths...
-->'''Pineapple:''' Lord Chilled! The vital sensors and the blasters of the two soldiers you just s-
-->'''Chilled:''' Shh, shh, shh.
-->''({{Beat}})''
-->'''Chilled:''' Continue.
-->'''Pineapple:''' ...have ceased transmissions. We believe they're dead!
-->'''Chilled:''' ''(gasps)'' Hooow outragggeous! In honor of their deaths, my men shall now and forever more be given the names of fruits! Pineapple! Briiing us to Planet Plant!
-->'''Pineapple:''' ...So, am I Pineapple?
-->'''Chilled:''' Yesssssssssssss!
* The whole thing was a story Goku made up to tell Gohan, then when he questions it... [[spoiler:he wakes up to Piccolo watching him.]]
-->[[spoiler: '''Piccolo:''' Go back to sleep Gohan.]]
* The blue mook shooting up the Saiyan village: "Inhabitants of Planet Plant: we are here on a diplomatic mission in the name of your new emperor, Lord Chilled. Pamphlets will be passed around to you to introduce you to your new, exciting lives as slaves to his almighty horniness."
* Bardock's reaction to Twopock coming to him for help: "Oh, [[SpaceX Space Christ]], what now?"
** This results in the second of Bardock's creeping realizations that he's in the past, which again is interrupted. He kicks Twopock away and flies off which leads to this gem.
--->'''Twopock:''' I am now bearing your child.
--->''({{Beat}})''
--->'''Twopock:''' YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
* This exchange between Chilled and Dr. Dray is as funny as it is full of innuendo.
-->'''Chilled:''' That's right! Continue to blow up the houses, we will avenge my men AND TAKE CONTROL OF THIS PLANET... Also we want your healing medicine.
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' How did you hear about our S.P.O.O.G.E.!?
-->'''Chilled:''' BECAUSE OF RAISINS! ...Raisins is my intel guy.
-->'''Solider:''' Now give us your S.P.O.O.G.E, or we'll beat it out of ya.
-->'''Chilled:''' (holding a camcorder) And I'll record the whole thing!
** Bardock jumps in and saves the good doctor, commenting on the conversation as he's snapping one of Chilled's mook's neck.
--->'''Bardock:''' I'm sorry I had to step in, but that was just getting obscene.
* There's one final rap reference, and it's a clever one. When Chilled attacks Twopock and injures him, Dray utters this line:
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' No, Twopock! Damn you... big... small guy!
** So the villain of the movie? [[TheNotoriousBIG Biggie Smalls]]. Hilarious if you remember that Tupac and Biggie were feuding with one another before their deaths.
* As it turns out, Bardock DOES hate one thing more then the past Saiyans...
-->'''Bardock:''' *upon seeing Chilled* Freeza? Freeza! *sees Chilled as Freeza* FREEEEZA! *punches Chilled*
** The dialogue between the two is hilarious.
--->'''Chilled:''' You wish to wrestle with the great Lord Chilled? [[CloudCuckoolander Yet you have not brought your own leotard?]] *stomps Bardock's head into the ground* [[CloudCuckoolander Worthless welp! YOU MAKE A MOCKERY OF WRESTLE WEDNESDAY! You see, they both start with W's. It's alliteration.]]
--->'''Bardock:''' *muffled* Freeza! FREEZA. *[[TheUnintelligible growling noises]]*
--->'''Chilled:''' [[RunningGag I don't know who this Freeza is, but he sounds like a classy lady.]]
** And after Dray attempts to help Bardock...
--->'''Chilled:''' These people seem to have a sincere affection for you. What is your secret?
--->'''Bardock:''' *muffled* Maybe because I don't look like a giant purple and orange tampon.
--->'''Chilled:''' *quickly* ''I have lost interest!'' *kicks Bardock away*
* Chilled's last decree to his men.
-->'''Chilled:''' Before I die... I have... one final decree. All of our most elite warriors must learn dance... choreography. *takes off breathing mask and leans up* Got... to... style... all over our opponents'... baaaaaaaaallllssss. *dies*
** Even more funny when you catch that it's a None Piece shout out.
* Even the post-death scene is funny.
-->'''Pineapple:''' Well, call it Blueberry.
-->'''Blueberry:''' Do I still have to call myself Blueberry?
-->'''Raisin:''' ''I'm'' going to keep calling you Blueberry.
-->'''Blueberry:''' SHUT UP RAISIN!
* Chilled's reaction to Bardock going Super Sayian, as well as that of the Past Sayians is pure genius.
-->'''Chilled:''' Oh i'm sorry, I only fight ''natural'' blondes.
-->'''Bardock:''' I... am the legendary Super Saiyan...
-->'''Sayians:''' Yay! We're all Super Saiyans!
-->'''Bardock:''' I will '''EAT YOU'''!
* The narrator in the beginning, who explains that Freeza destroying planet Vegeta should have been the end of Bardock... if not for a thing called [[TheMerch merchandising!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Specials]]
* The Halloween Special:
--> '''Professor:''' Well, what's your costume?\\
'''Popo:''' Oh, I'm not in costume. Yet. Hold on. ''[cut to clip of the Cloverfield monster, with Popo's maniacal laughter]''
* Four Words: Banana on a [[strike:tricycle]] unicycle.
** Heck, the entire FAQ is one big CMOF.
** The obnoxious [[WebVideo/GantzAbridged salaryman]]... er, fan. That is all.
--->'''Obnoxious Fan:''' Can I be Cutter?
--->'''Vegeta:''' No! Wait... who the hell is Cutter?
--->'''Obnoxious Fan:''' You guys suck! I'm going to go complain on my LiveJournal page.
--->'''Vegeta:''' Yes, I'm sure your mother reads it religiously.
** Also-
--->'''Obnoxious Fan:''' Can I be Oozaru?
--->'''Vegeta:''' [[NoIndoorVoice I DON'T KNOW! LET'S ASK HIM!]]
--->'''Oozaru:''' ROAR! (Fires blast of energy from his mouth at the Obnoxious Fan.)
--->'''Obnoxious Fan:''' ...Ow...
** Nappa answering the question of who writes and edits the show.
---> '''Nappa:''' The editing is done by Tigerkitty!
---> '''Vegeta:''' It's Kaiser Neko, Nappa!
---> '''Nappa:''' Kaiser Cat.
---> '''Vegeta:''' Neko!
---> '''Nappa:''' Meow! (pair of cat ears pops up on his head)
* The AWA special:
-->'''Nappa:''' Hey. Vegeta. Check out that cosplayer over there. They're hot!
-->'''Vegeta:''' Goddamnit Nappa, stop breaking the fourth... whoa, wow, she ''is'' hot.
-->'''Nappa:''' I'm talking about that guy over there! The [[Manga/DeathNote L]] cosplayer!
-->'''Vegeta:''' Nappa, that's just a guy in a white sweatshirt.
-->'''Nappa:''' Yeah, like I said. L.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Are you telling me that counts as a cosplay?
-->'''Nappa:''' Yep!
-->'''Vegeta:''' F***ing cop-out.
* In the middle of the Conneticon 2011 announcement.
--> '''Announcer:''' ...wait a minute, this is missing something. Hey Nappa, say something funny.
--> '''Nappa:''' My parents died in a tragic space accident when I was only a child. That's why I can never grow up.
--> '''Announcer:''' Ha ha, oh Nappa.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOqIngh_-_A&feature=feedu Nappa and the other bald characters' parody of Lady Gaga's Born This Way.]]
** After the music stops, some of the reactions are priceless:
--->'''Nappa:''' Tien, what are you doing?! That was your line!
--->'''Tien:''' Yeah, I'm not doing it.
--->'''Nappa:''' I thought we talked about this.
--->'''Tien:''' Yeah. ''You'' talked. I said no.
--->'''Nappa:''' Look. It took a long time to put this together. Piccolo's in the outfit!
--->'''Piccolo:''' ([[CallBack covered in plush Yoshis]]) I'm in the outfit.
--->'''Tien:''' ''That's because you have no friends.''
--->'''Piccolo:''' (stops smiling and [[InelegantBlubbering sobs offscreen]])
--->'''Nappa:''' [[WhatTheHellHero What the f***, Tien?]]
--->'''Krillin:''' Oh, geez!
--->'''Tien:''' I am. NOT. DOING. YOUR STUPID. SONG. PARODY.
--->'''Nappa:''' Why?!
--->'''Tien:''' F*** you, that's why.
* ''Anime/DragonBallKai Abridged'', the entirety of season 1 condensed into [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo5Rhn8zuPA two minutes and ten seconds of nonstop hilarity.]]
-->'''Goku:''' I have a kid.
-->'''Gohan:''' I'm socially awkward.
-->'''Krillin:''' He's adorable! [Blasted through a wall by Raditz. The [[RunningGag Krillin Owned Count]] rapidly rises before exploding.]
**
--->'''King Kai:''' I'm King Kai. You now know the Kaio-ken and the Spirit Bomb. F**k off. Shut up, Bojack.
**
--->'''Krillin:''' Yamcha's here! [Explosion] Yamcha's dead!
**
--->'''Vegeta:''' Hey Nappa. Let's go to Earth.
--->'''Nappa:''' Ballin'.
** The part where Nappa sums up his total reason for being;
--->'''Nappa:''' [[FountainOfMemes I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say.]]
** [[InvokedTrope Case]] [[FridgeLogic and]] [[FridgeBrilliance point]].
**
--->'''Goku::''' Goku's here!
--->'''Krillin:''' Goku's here!
--->'''Vegeta:''' It's [[OverNineThousand over nine thousaaaaaa-]]
--->'''Nappa:''' Aaaaaaaaaa- [Vegeta and Nappa continue to scream over each other until Vegeta blasts Nappa with an energy beam.]
--->'''Nappa:''' ''Vegeta why?!'' (as he is dying)
---> '''Vegeta:''' Because I'm a monkey! (transforms into the giant ape Ozaru).
**
--->'''Vegeta:''' Oh no, I'm not a monkey! Oh no, the kid's a monkey! Destructo Disk!
--->'''Krillin:''' The ''f*ck''?!//
** TheReveal that [[spoiler: [[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Yami Yugi]] had watched the whole thing.]]
--->'''[[spoiler: Yami Yugi]]:''' This has ''how'' many subscribers?
** [[DrillSergeantNasty Hi, maggots. I'm training you]]. [[BlackComedyRape I'm terrifying and a potential rapist, but I'll never say it flat out]]. ''[beat]'' [[JumpScare BAH]]!
*** [[BringMyBrownPants AAH]]!
* The Anime Evolution 2010 promo;
-->'''Guru:''' Nail... Naaaaaail!
-->'''Nail:''' What is it, Lord Guru?
-->'''Guru:''' Do you know what I love about Canada?
-->'''Nail:''' ...Sir, there's nothing to love about Canada.
-->'''Guru:''' Nail...
-->'''Nail:''' No, seriously, it's the only place more boring than here-
-->'''Guru:''' Nail! None of that.
-->'''Nail:''' (''Sighs'') What is that you love about Canada, sir?
-->'''Guru:''' I love... ''their moose!''
-->'''Moose:''' Hurr!
-->'''Nail:''' (''Makes a surprised yelp'')
* Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you: [[http://antfish.tumblr.com/post/36887800462/captain-ginyu-style "Captain Ginyu Style!"]]
* The video advertising upcoming episodes and new T-Shirts is hilarious with Nappa and Vegeta arguing over doing the commercial (Nappa wants him to do it, Vegeta doesn't). But, the real icing on the cake of hilarity is [[spoiler:Vegeta VS Alucard]] at the end.
* Takahata101 attending a ''Anime/DragonBallKai'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j2mBle5_JM panel at Sakura-Con]]:
-->'''Takahata''': Dragonball Kai is Dragonball Z essentially, right?
-->'''[[ChristopherSabat Chris Sabat]]''': You could say that.
-->'''Takahata''': It's shortened, correct?
-->'''Chris Sabat''': Right.
-->'''Takahata''': It's redubbed, right?
-->'''Chris Sabat''': In a way, yes.
-->'''Takahata''': It's partially rewritten, correct?
-->'''Chris Sabat''': It is completely rewritten, yes.
-->'''Takahata''' (Nappa voice): Way to be 4 years late to that party!
* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lR64fBXve3s&feature=youtu.be alternate takes of Krillin's death at the hands of Freeza.]]
-->'''Krillin''': YOLO! (boom)
-->'''Krillin''': [[ZeroWing Someone set me up the bomb!]] (boom)
-->'''Krillin''': I've heard of an explosive temper, but this is ridiculou-(boom)
-->'''Krillin''': Hey, guys! Look! It's my Chiaotzu impression! Goodbye, Tie-(boom)
* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYmp85jWksM alternate take from episode 30's ending.]]
--> '''Dr Briefs''': Finally, we're rid of all those dang ni-
--> '''Bulma''': [[CurseCutShort DAD!!!]]
--> '''Dr Briefs''': I was gonna say Namekians...
--> '''Bulma''': **Beat** ...No you weren't.
--> '''Dr Briefs''': No I wasn't.
* Moments from ''WebVideo/TwoSaiyansPlay'' [[Funny/TwoSaiyansPlay here]]
[[/folder]]
----
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Episodes 1-10]]
[[WMG:Episode 1]]
* All of the farmer's lines, despite the fact that he only has about 4 of them in the entire series.
--> '''Farmer:''' (''notices spaceship crash on his farm in the distance'') OH GOD NO, MY MARIJUANA PATCH! I mean uhhh, my carrot patch. Uh... YEAH. (''approaches crashed spaceship'') Guess I'll do what any sensible Middle American would do in this situation (''pulls out rifle''): GIT MAH GUN!\\
'''Spaceship:''' Hello and welcome to Earth: with open bar.\\
'''Farmer:''' (''Notices Raditz getting out of his ship bathed in blue light'') HOLY CRAP, IT'S [[SonicTheHedgehog SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!]] Oh wait, no... It’s an alien! HOLY S***, IT'S AN ALIEN!\\
'''Raditz:''' Finally, on this dead plan... (''notices teeming wildlife'') wait... what the crap? Did Kakarot screw this up? Oh, goddamnit! I knew we should have sent Turles.\\
'''Farmer:''' (''thinking'') I better think of something cool to say to make him stop (''cocks gun, then shouting'') HEY YOU! (''thinking again'') Genius, farmer... Genius.\\
'''Raditz:''' Aw, look at him! He thinks he's people. What's your power level, little human? Five, huh?\\
'''Farmer:''' (''shoots'') PROTECT ME, GUN!\\
'''Raditz:''' (''catches the bullet'') Hey! No! Bad human! (''flicks it back'')\\
'''Farmer:''' Damn it, I voted for Bush.\\
'''Raditz:''' Bad! Now get back up and say you're sorry. (''Farmer doesn't move'') Human? Huuuman? (''sighs'') [[AndCallHimGeorge So this is why dad said I couldn't keep Appule]].
* Goku meeting Raditz.
-->'''Goku:''' So what are you here for? The Dragon Balls?\\
'''Raditz:''' The... the Dragon's what?\\
'''Goku:''' The Dragon Balls, you know? There are seven of them? They grant you any wish you want? Like immortality.\\
'''Oolong:''' Or Bulma's panties. [Cut to some alien bug planet]\\
'''Nappa:''' Hey Vegeta did you hear that?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Oh yeah, we're totally going to Earth to get our wish.\\
'''Nappa:''' Yeah we're gonn get panties!... I mean immortality. Immortality is what I meant. Right, Vegeta?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Just get in the damn pod, Nappa.
** Bulma's introduction:
--->'''Bulma:''' Hey I'm here.\\
'''Krillin:''' BOOBS! I mean, Bulma... Hi!\\
'''Bulma:''' Oooooooookaaaaaaaay.
* Piccolo and Tom. That is all.
-->'''Piccolo:''' Why [should I help you]?\\
'''Goku:''' I'll friend you on MySpace.\\
[{{beat}}, cut to the two flying]\\
'''Piccolo:''' Tom, you've been replaced.
* Bulma walking in on Yamcha cheating on her.
-->'''Yamcha:''' BULMA! THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE- okay it's totally what it looks like. Can I still live here? ''Please?'' Before this I was living in the desert. And have you changed Puar's litter box yet?
* Vegeta3986 taking the role of Raditz away from Lanipator ''mid-attack'' because of an argument over his ''special move''.
-->'''Lanipator as Raditz''': "Prepare yourself for my signature attack: DOUBLE SUN-" (Picture turns monochrome and the RecordNeedleScratch sound is heard.)\\
'''Vegeta3986''': No!\\
'''Lanipator''': Eh - huh?\\
'''Vegeta3986''': Give me the mic!\\
'''Lanipator''': What? No - come on, man!\\
'''Vegeta3986''': Dude, give me the mic! (A picture of the original Dragonball appears on screen with the words 'We are experiencing technical difficulties' superimposed over the top and bottom.)\\
'''Lanipator''': That is the real attack name!\\
'''Vegeta3986''': No it isn't!\\
'''Lanipator''': Fine, here, take it. I'll just go practice my Vegeta. Ass.
[[WMG: Episode 2]]
* Raditz's assumption that nudity makes you stronger on Earth.
--> Raditz: Ah ha, so nudity makes you stronger on this planet! *Zipper sound*\\
Goku: Uh no, we're wearing weighted clothing. *Zipper sound*\\
Raditz: Of course, that would be stupid! Ah ha, ha ha[[{{Beat}} ...]]\\
Piccolo: So that hair does compensate for something.\\
[[HarveyBirdmanAttorneyAtLaw Phil Ken Sebben]]: Ha ha! Dangly parts!
* Raditz, Goku, and Piccolo in Episode 2:
-->'''Raditz:''' Aha! Attacking an opponent up to four times your strength in a one-on-one battle. A cunning strategy... no, no, not cunning. What's the opposite of that?\\
'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') Retarded?\\
'''Raditz:''' That's it, thank you! Now, disregarding the Namekian, I-\\
'''Goku:''' Ah- a ''Yoshi.''\\
'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') I'm not a goddamn Yoshi!\\
'''Goku:''' But you said you were!\\
'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') It's called ''sarcasm!''\\
'''Goku:''' What's ''that'' taste like?\\
'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') ''DAMMIT Goku!!''\\
'''Raditz:''' Stop ignoring me!!\\
[''Raditz crushes Goku's ribs'']\\
'''Goku:''' Ow, my ribs! I think you broke my... mmm... ribs.\\
** "DAMN YOU, HINDSIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!"
*** Bleh.
** Right after Goku dies:
--->'''Krillin:''' Holy crap. (''cheerfully''): I'm not the first person to die in this series!\\
'''Roshi:''' Krillin!\\
'''Krillin:''' What?\\
'''Roshi:''' TooSoon!
* Piccolo mentally singing [[TheMuppetShow Mahna Mahna]] while Goku "distracts" Raditz.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBm_2IUn4MU#t=4m43s As Goku is being beaten senseless, Gohan escapes from Raditz's space pod, blowing it up.]]
-->'''Raditz:''' NO! MY SPACE PO-- (''Gohan headbutts Raditz's chest, cracking his armor'') UGH! MY SPACE ARMOR!\\
'''Piccolo:''' We get it, you're from space!
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBm_2IUn4MU#t=5m13s As Gohan gets up, Raditz appears behind him:]]
-->'''Raditz:''' UNCLE RADITZ IS PISSED! [He swipes at Gohan. The scene pauses.]\\
'''Voice:''' We here at TeamFourStar do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious. [Scene resumes.]
[[WMG: Episode 3]]
* After Goku's death, Master Roshi says that his sacrifice was not in vain and that it stopped a great evil. As he says that [[TemptingFate everyone's lives can return to peace]], Nappa and Vegeta are heard over Raditz scouter:
-->'''Nappa:''' Guy-who's-as-strong-as-a-saibaman says "what?" ''({{beat}})'' That usually gets to him. I think he's dead, Vegeta.\\
'''Vegeta:''' Big shocker! Nobody cares! We're ten times stronger than him anyway! We'll go to Earth, find the dragonballs and [[KillEmAll kill everyone]]! [[{{Exposition}} And we'll be there within the year or so!]] Depending on {{filler}}, of course!\\
'''Nappa:''' Aaaanything else we need to go over, Vegeta?\\
'''Vegeta:''' ...Nope. That's about it. ''(conversation ends)''\\
'''Master Roshi:''' [[OhCrap Well...]] '''''[[PrecisionFStrike F]][[CurseCutShort u]]'''''--''(HardCut to intro)''
* The birth of a great RunningGag: "NEEEEERD!"
* Piccolo throws Gohan at a mountain ("Actually, that looks more like a plat--AAAAAAAH!!!") and instead of busting through the mountain like in the show, a [[BlackComedy splatter sound is heard and Gohan cries.]]
-->'''Piccolo:''' Ew...
* The first hint of Mr. Popo's ... ahem ... ''[[NightmareFuelStationAttendant character]]''... Kami tells Popo that he'll be receiving new trainees. [[DrillSergeantNasty Mr. Popo]]... [[EvilLaugh laughs]].
* "6 billion?! I'm supposed to be intimidated by 6 billion?! I can judge 6 billion souls faster than you can take a piss, old man!"
* This ShoutOut to ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'':
-->'''King Yemma:''' Sure, he can go to King Kai, but he'll have to run on [[IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace SNAAAAKE WAAAAY]]! ''(Cue [[{{Sting}} Dramatic Sting]])''\\
'''Goku:''' [[TooDumbToLive Sounds nice!]]\\
'''King Yemma:''' Prepare to be surprised.
* King Yemma's rant about his (Mahogany!) desk.
-->'''King Yemma:''' And not just ''any'' mahogany! But mahogany from the planet of Malchior 7! Where the trees are 300 feet tall and breathe ''fire!'' From these trees this desk was forged 2,000 years ago, using ancient blood rituals of the ancient Malchior people! Not only does this make my desk nigh indestructible, ''but it can bend the fabric of the universe itself!'' Also, it's a very fine material. Very expensive.\\
'''Kami:''' Oh...kay.\\
'''King Yemma:''' Mahogany.
[[WMG: Episode 4]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ys7pLfOVZDE#t=7m21s Goku's defeat of Princess Snake.]]
** As well as her earlier spying on a naked Goku...[[Franchise/MetalGear while hiding in]] [[MemeticMutation a cardboard box]].
* The backstory behind the blood fountain in hell.
-->'''Goku:''' Have you guys seen my brother Raditz around here? Spiky hair...tail?\\
'''Mez:''' Ach, yes, he made a horrible mess of ze blood fountain.\\
'''Goku:''' Looks fine to me.\\
'''Goz:''' IT USED TO BE WATER!
* The first time Mr. Popo speaks.
-->'''Popo:''' Alright maggots, listen up. Popo's 'bout to teach you the pecking order: it goes you, the dirt, the worms inside the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami; and Popo. Any questions?\\
'''Krillin:''' Uh, yeah, I- (''cut to outside shot of lookout as sounds of fighting can be heard, followed by a black dot falling off said lookout'') AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!\\
[''[[RunningGag Krillin Owned Count]]: 3'']\\
'''Popo:''' Enjoy the climb back up, '''[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]'''! Any more questions? (''silence'') Good. Then we can begin.
[[WMG: Episode 5]]
* Meanwhile, Back in episode 5,
-->'''Guru:''' Nail... Nail!\\
'''Nail:''' What is it, Lord Guru?\\
'''Guru:''' I saw a fish. That is all. Go back outside now.\\
'''Nail:''' (thinking) Oh God, this is so horribly dull. I sure hope something happens, I don't care what it is!\\
'''Guru:''' ''NAAAIL!''\\
'''Nail:''' (''obviously angry'') WHAT!\\
'''Guru:''' I saw a bird. It was pretty. Kick its ass.
* Piccolo's destruction of the moon being reported on in the news.
--> '''Anchorman:''' We now go to our resident expert on lunar science, SailorMoon. Sailor?\\
'''SailorMoon:''' ''*Getting electrocuted*'' '''OH DEAR GOD!!!'''\\
'''Anchorman:''' [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight Thanks, Sailor!]] We now return you to NickAtNite's 24-hour FullHouse marathon, already in progress.
* '''[[TrainingFromHell "DOD]][[LargeHam GE!"]]'''
* Vegeta [[{{Scorpions}} rocks the Arlian king... like a]] ''[[{{Scorpions}} hurricane]]''.
* The reward of the Arlians freed by Nappa and Vegeta.
-->'''Arlian:''' You have freed our race! We shall erect statues of you...\\
'''Nappa:''' Well, isn't that nice of them, Vegeta?\\
'''Arlian:''' ... Out of our dung!\\
'''Nappa:''' (''beat'') Well, isn't that nice of them, Vege-\\
'''Vegeta:''' We're leaving, Nappa.\\
'''Nappa:''' 'Kay.
[[WMG: Episode 6]]
* Freeza the Wiki vandal:
-->Stupid monkeys hit by falling rocks ([[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial not deathball thrown by Freeza]]). Ahahahahahahaha! P.S.: Freeza rules you!
* Absolutely ''anything'' Mr. Popo says.
-->'''Kami:''' Mr. Popo, where did you send them?\\
'''Popo:''' I'll tell you where they're ''not'': '''safe'''.
* Popo's last comments for the Z fighters after they've completed their training are hilariously blunt.
-->[[{{Foreshadowing}} You're all going to die]].
[[WMG: Episode 7]]
* Here's a little fact from Namek: Namekians may be powerful fighters, but they have one weakness: they ''don't '' have penises!
-->'''Nappa:''' Look, Vegeta! A Namekian!\\
'''Krillin:''' Hey, I take offense to that!\\
'''Piccolo:''' He was referring to ''me'', you idiot! And it's not an insult. The Namekians are a fine, proud race of...\\
'''Nappa:''' That means he doesn't have a penis, right Vegeta? [Vegeta and Nappa snicker off-screen, as Piccolo stands embarrassed.]\\
'''Vegeta:''' Eunuchs.
* Nappa thinking Chiaotzu is a Pokémon.
-->'''Nappa:''' Eh...eh! Vegeta! Look! A Pokémon...\\
'''Chiaotzu:''' I'm not a Pokémon! I'm Chiaotzu! Chiaotzu!\\
'''Nappa:''' Do you hear that, Vegeta? It’s a Chiaotzu! I'm gonna catch it!. *Grabs Pokéball.*\\
'''Chiaotzu:''' I told you I am not a Pokém...OW! *Gets hit by a Pokéball*\\
'''Nappa:''' Awwww, it didnt work, Vegeta.\\
'''Vegeta:''' That's cause you have to damage it first.\\
'''Nappa:''' Alright! Let's see if I can get a [[CriticalHit critical]]!! *Chiaotzu flinches in response*
[[WMG: Episode 8]]
* Krillin and Piccolo's plan B:
-->'''Krillin and Piccolo:''' [[{{Naruto}} KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!]] [Clones of Krillin and Piccolo appear]\\
'''Nappa:''': Vegeta! I can't... [[{{CatchPhrase}} BELIEVE IT!]] [Vegeta groans in disgust]\\
* Nappa's thoughts while he parries all of the Krillin and Piccolo's clones attacks:
-->'''Nappa:''' Patty cake, patty cake, baker's MAN! Bake me a cake as fast as you CAN!\\
'''Nappa:''' (''After all of the clones are gone'') Good effort, but I'm the patty cake champion.\\
'''Piccolo:''' What?
* When Nappa stops in mid-air.
-->'''Nappa:''' Vegeta!\\
'''Vegeta:''' What is it, Nappa!?\\
'''Nappa:''' ''[[RememberedICouldFly I can fly]]''.\\
'''Vegeta:''' (''[[{{Angrish}} stammering]]'') ... Yes, Nappa, yes you can.
* After Krillin warns Vegeta and Nappa that Goku is coming, Vegeta decides to kill Krillin and the others until Nappa interjects:
-->'''Nappa:''' But Vegeta, I wanna meet the strong guy!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Nappa, just kill them first and-\\
'''Nappa:''' But I want him to see us kill them!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Oh god, there's no arguing with you. Fine! I'll give you three hours tops, after that I'm killing all of you!
* After merely a minute of waiting, Nappa gets impatient, which starts to get on everyone's nerves. Vegeta tells Nappa to go have fun, and we get this:
-->'''Nappa:''' Oh boy! This is gonna be my [[{{PunctuatedForEmphasis}} BEST. DAY. EVER.]] [Nappa then proceeds to destroy a whole naval fleet while whimsical music is playing in the background.]\\
* In TheStinger, we get this exchange between Nappa and Vegeta:
-->'''Vegeta:''' Nappa, where did your armor go?\\
'''Nappa:''' I had a hell of a day, Vegeta: I sank their battleship, AND THEIR WHALES. [Cuts to an ocean full of blood and sunken ships.]\\
'''Aquaman:''' [[{{BigNo}} NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!]]
[[WMG: Episode 9]]
* Nappa and Vegeta's discussion at the start of the episode:
-->'''Krillin:''' (''with Nappa charging towards him'') Wait, myturnmyturnMYTURN! [Nappa stops dead in his tracks.]\\
'''Vegeta:''' Nappa, what are you doing?\\
'''Nappa:''' It's his turn, Vegeta. I have to wait for him.\\
'''Vegeta:''' Wha... I... uh... (''nose starts to bleed'')\\
'''Nappa:''' You okay, Vegeta?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Yes... just... just having an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity.\\
'''Nappa:''' Oh. (''beat'') I didn't think you were that stupid, Vegeta.\\
'''Vegeta:''' AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHGHHHH!\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[{{Foreshadowing}} Nine minutes, eighteen seconds...nine minutes, eighteen seconds...]]\\
'''Nappa:''' What's that, Vegeta?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Happiest... moment... of... my life...
** Then Nappa dies at that time mark in the episode.
* Krillin shows off his new technique:
-->'''Krillin:''' HEY! Stop treating me like a joke dammit! I've got a new technique--which I probably could've used earlier and maybe saved all of our friends' lives--but that's beside the point! (''charging a disc of energy in his hand'') Get ready for my '''destructo disc!'''\\
'''Piccolo:''' (''barely alive'') Laaame.\\
'''Krillin:''' Now, take THIS! (''throws the disc at an angle, where it grinds across the ground before heading towards Nappa and Vegeta'')\\
'''Nappa:''' Oooh! A frisbee Vegeta!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Nappa, no! It's a trick!\\
'''Nappa:''' But Vegeta... tricks are for kids.\\
'''Vegeta:''' ... You know what, Nappa? On second thought, catch it. Catch it with your teeth.\\
'''Nappa:''' Yay, like a doggy! (''gets cut by the disc, which rebounds towards a small mountain'') Ow!\\
'''Ricola guy:''' Riiicola-- (''disc explodes, cutting off the mountain's top half''') Oh goddammit! (''mountain half falls and breaks into pieces'')
* Gohan snaps for the first time:
-->'''Gohan:''' TAKE THAT, YOU INSUFFERABLE F**KING SIMPLETON!!\\
'''Piccolo:''' Whoa, Gohan! [[WhatTheHellHero What the hell?!]]\\
'''Gohan:''' (''calmed down'') Wha? I'm sorry, Mr. Piccolo, I didn't mean to snap like that!\\
'''Piccolo:''' No, stay snapped, STAY SNAPPED!
* Gohan loses his temper:
-->'''Gohan:''' [[SophisticatedAsHell I'm gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal tract as a condom while I fornicate with your skull!]]\\
'''Nappa:''' (''{{Beat}}'') ... What?\\
'''Gohan: ''I'M GONNA SKULLF██K YOU!'''''
* Krillin tells Goku about the fate of his friends:
-->'''Goku:''' Where's Chiaotzu?\\
'''Krillin:''' Oh, he's here... and there... and there... and there... and-\\
'''Gohan:''' [[RunningGag Krillin]]!\\
'''Krillin:''' What?\\
'''Gohan:''' TooSoon!
* Goku asks Nappa and Vegeta who caused the deaths of his friends:
-->'''Nappa:''' That was me, totally calling it. I killed every single one of them. Except the Chiaotzu. He blew himself up!
* Team Four Star presents their version of one of the most famous {{Memetic Mutation}}s in anime history:
-->'''Nappa:''' Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his power level?!\\
'''Vegeta:''' It's... one thousand and six.\\
'''Nappa:''' ...Really?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Yeah. Kick his ass, Nappa!\\
'''Nappa:''' Yaaaaay!\\
[Nappa gets his ass handed to him by Goku.]\\
'''Nappa:''' (''while Vegeta is delivering the below lines'') That doesn't bend that way! MY ARM DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY! (''*snap*'') Aaw, now it does!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Hmmm... that doesn't seem right... wait, wait, wait wait! Nappa!\\
'''Nappa:''' (''collapses at Vegeta's feet'') Whaaaaat?!\\
'''Vegeta:''' I had the Scouter upside down. It's OverNineThousand. (''calmly crushes Scouter'') Rah.\\
'''Nappa:''' Why do you sound so bored?!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Because he's ''still'' not a threat.\\
'''Nappa:''' But--\\
'''Vegeta:''' To ''me''.
** And on the subject of {{Memetic Mutation}}s:
--->'''Nappa:''' Vegeta, look! I'm a-firin' my '''BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!'''
* This episode ends with a surprisingly understated (yet hysterical) moment where Vegeta [[spoiler:finally kills Nappa for his unrelenting stupidity]] at exactly [[BrickJoke nine minutes and eighteen seconds]]. His reaction is a simple smile.
[[WMG: Episode 10]]
* Vegeta after [[spoiler: Nappa dies]]:
-->'''Vegeta:''' (Laughs maniacally) HE'S GONE! HE'S FINALLY GONE! I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW, I MIGHT NOT EVEN SLAUGHTER YOU ALL!!\\
'''Krillin:''' R-Really?\\
'''Vegeta:''' (Laughter dies down) Oh no, you are all thoroughly screwed.
* Vegeta gets a replacement idiot.
-->'''Goku:''' Are you okay in there?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Yeah, I'm fan-f***ing-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here.\\
'''Goku:''' Oh, really? Can I come in too?\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[SurroundedByIdiots ...I'm surrounded by idiots.]]\\
'''Goku:''' I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream!\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[[TheScream loudly screams out of frustration]]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm0V0UVqFtQ#t=8m33s AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]
-->'''Goku:''' What's going on, guys? We won, right?
* When Goku and Vegeta are about to fight:
-->'''Vegeta:''' It's like you're beef jerky and I'm Filet Mignon.\\
'''Goku:''' I like both those things!\\
'''Vegeta:''' ... I'm going to start beating you now. I don't know when I'll stop.\\
'''Goku:''' Hopefully before dinner, because I told Gohan to tell Chi-Chi to- (Vegeta interrupts with an attack)
* And later, Son Goku: squeaky toy.
-->(Oozaru!Vegeta has Goku in his grasp)\\
'''Oozaru!Vegeta:''' Alright, Kakarot! Let's hear those bones shatter! (squeezes harder)\\
'''Goku:''' *squeaky*\\
'''Oozaru!Vegeta:''' ... What the?\\
'''Goku:''' *squeaky*\\
'''Oozaru!Vegeta:''' My God, [[LampshadeHanging that's hilarious!]]\\
'''Goku:''' *squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky*
* How about this one when [[spoiler:[[UnstoppableRage Ooza]][[OneWingedAngel ru]]]] Gohan fights Vegeta:
-->'''Goku:''' Gohan, this is daddy. I know you're angry right now but you have to focus your anger.  R-remember Icarus? (shows Icarus and explosion) *Gohan has an angered expression* (Camera shows Vegeta) [[MotivationalLie He did it.]] *Gohan SCREAMS in anger*\\
'''Vegeta:''' Well that's bulls***! I haven't killed a damn thing since I came to this godforsaken planet. ([[AsideGlance Looks at camera]]) Not from lack of trying, mind you.
* But the crowning moment of them all came at the very end of the first season as a throwaway gag. [[spoiler:"[[Film/{{Ghostbusters}} GHOST NAPPA!]]"]] According to an interview from the [[http://www.daizex.com Daizenshuu EX]] podcast, that joke was apparently planned almost from the beginning, making pretty much the entire first season a set-up to get to that punchline. Hence the name of the finale "The Punchline".
** Vegeta, at the end of episode 10, comes across an old friend, much to his horror,
--->'''Vegeta:''' "They've broken my body... I've failed in my mission to find the Dragon Balls... I even lost my tail... but, at least... [[RockBottom it can't get any worse... from here...]]"\\
'''???:''' "Vegeta... Vegeeeeetaaaaa..."\\
'''Vegeta:''' "Wh-what?"\\
'''Nappa:''' ''[appears as a ghost]'' "I'mhauntingyou!"\\
'''Vegeta:''' '''''[[BigNo NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!]]'''''
* Goku hits his head harder than he thought and believed he was in the Film/DragonBallEvolution continuity.
-->'''Goku:''' Man, this is worse than [[Film/DragonBallEvolution that time I was in high school, and all the guys called me "Geeko", and I was Piccolo's slave, I couldn't get Chi-Chi to like me, and...]] Oh wow, I hit that rock harder than I thought.
* Vegeta when he loses his temper is always hilarious.
-->'''Vegeta:''' SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR PLANET KAKAROT!!\\
'''Goku:''' Hey, that's not very nice!"\\
'''Vegeta:''' OF COURSE NOT, I'M F***ING EVIL!"
** More [[CardCarryingVillain Card Carrying Villainy]] from Vegeta:
--->'''Vegeta:''' Hey Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken?\\
'''Goku:''' (dazed) ... Huh?\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[CrossingTheLineTwice CHRISTOPHER REEVE!]] (crushes Goku's legs)\\
'''Goku:''' (in agony) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH, [[DudeNotFunny that was in terrible taaaaaaste]]!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Don't care! Evil!
* The entire Kaio-ken running gag.
-->'''Vegeta:''' I'm going to obliterate you, and the rest of this planet myself with my own two-\\
'''Goku:''' KAIO-KEN!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Kaio-what? ([[TalkToTheFist Punched repeatedly in the face]], before breaking away the combo with a kick to the chin) Okay... not bad... but still nothing compared to me!
** And again.
--->'''Vegeta:''' I told you Kakarot! There's no way you can measure up to an elite like me! You're fighting a losing battle here. You might as well just surrender this pathetic planet now and-\\
'''Goku:''' KAIOKEN TIMES THREE!\\
'''Vegeta:''' Times wha-(PUNCH) GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! (sent flying and crashes into a mountain) This... proves... nothing...
** [[RuleOfThree Once more]], during the [[BeamOWar Galick Gun/Kamehameha struggle]]:
--->'''Vegeta:''' This is the end Kakarot! You don't stand a chance! I put all my power into this attack! Now perish... WITH THE REST OF YOUR PATHETIC WORLD!\\
'''Goku:''' KAIO-KEN...\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[OhCrap Noooo...]]\\
'''Goku:''' ... TIMES...\\
'''Vegeta:''' No, no, no...\\
'''Goku:''' ...FOOOOUUUUR...\\
'''Vegeta:''' Nononononononono-(gets carried away by the blast)-[[AtomicFBomb FUUUUUUUUUUU-]]
*** Meanwhile, Back at the Plot:
---->'''Vegeta:''' [[AtomicFBomb -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK]].
* Vegeta getting hit in the face with a Solar Flare.
-->"AAAAH. My eyes! Oh God, it's like walking in on Freeza in the shower. Wait a minute, Freeza's always naked - AAAAAAGGGGHHH!
** [[spoiler: This becomes even funnier in episode 15, when Dodoria is hit by a Solar Flare... And you can see a split second shot of Freeza's face photoshopped on a picture of a muscular man in the shower.]]
*** Also in general Vegeta getting hit in the eye.
---->'''Vegeta:''' Again with the f***ing eye!!"\\
'''Vegeta:''' The eye! The eye! Why is always that goddamned eye!!??"
* This bit before Vegeta's transformation:
-->'''Vegeta:''' Now watch, Kakarot, as your life becomes inconsequential, as I reveal my GIANT MONKEY-\\
'''Crowd:''' (gasp)\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[SubvertedTrope FORM!]]\\
'''Crowd:''' (sighs of relief)\\
'''Random Guy in Crowd:''' Thank god, I thought he meant [[LampshadeHanging penis]]!
* Krillin receiving the weakened spirit bomb.
-->'''Goku:''' Krillin, come here. I have something to give you.
''' Krillin:''' Your last will and testament?\\
'''Goku:''' No, it's energy from the entire world. It's our last hope.\\
'''Krillin:''' And you’re giving it to me?\\
'''Goku:''' I'm kind of out of options. (Goku gives Krillin the spirit bomb)\\
'''Krillin:''' "Holy crap! So this is what being important feels like!"
** And then he muses on the Spirit Bomb.
-->'''Krillin''': ''(thinking)'' Wow! Such power, from every living being on the planet. I can feel it all surging inside of me. Every man, woman, and child. This, this is Earth's very essence! {{beat}} ''(out loud)'' BOO-YAH, MOTHER-F*CKER! ''(throws it)''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Episodes 11-20]]
[[WMG:Episode 11]]
* Gohan's extreme [[CallingTheOldManOut calling out]] to his mother, Chi-Chi in episode 11:
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' Well, all I know is that my little boy isn't going anywhere.
--> '''Gohan:''' Actually... Mom... I'm going to Namek.
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' (strained) As... I... Said. My little boy (now angry) ISN'T... GOING... ANYWHERE!!
--> '''Gohan:''' But, mom! Piccolo died for me! It's my responsibility!
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' Gohan, ''I'' am your ''mother!'' And as your ''mother,'' you will listen to me and you will do as I say!
--> '''Gohan:''' But that's not...
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' Did ''you'' carry around a baby in you for nine months... '''WITH A MAN WHO LITERALLY THOUGHT YOU HAD CINNA-BUNS HIDDEN IN YOUR SHIRT?!'''
--> '''Gohan:''' But I...
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' Now you are going to lay in this hospital bed! Recover like a normal boy! And then, you're going right back to your advanced trig classes, '''AND THAT IS THE LAST WE WILL...!'''
--> '''Gohan:''' (pissed) '''''SHUT YOUR F**KING FACE!!!'''''
--> ''{{beat}}''
--> '''Gohan:''' (calm) I'll be going to Namek now.
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' (calm, too) You'd best. (slams door as she leaves the hospital)
* Everything Mr. Popo says in episode 11.
** Goku's failed attempt at borrowing Popo's magic flying carpet.
---> '''Mr. Popo:''' "MAKIN' TOAST! [...] BUTTERIN' TOAST!"
* Season 2 gives us [[spoiler: Goku's reaction to Popo.]]
* Mr. Popo's explanation for why simply shouting his name makes the spaceship do whatever he wants it to do at the time.
---> '''Mr. Popo:''' It just knows better.
** Turns out it works for everyone else too.
[[WMG: Episode 12]]
* Krillin's inner monologue at the start of the episode:
--> '''Krillin:''' Krillin's Log, stardate...uh...November 28th. We've been flying for two weeks now, and I'm starting to feel very tensed up. Not just for being trapped on the ship of course, but from Bulma walking around in nothing ''but her underwear!'' I would relieve this tension, but I've had no alone time '''SINCE THE TOILET KEEPS SCREAMING AT ME!!''' I'm not sure how much longer I can last...
--> '''Bulma:''' Krillin, are you saying something?
--> '''Krillin:''' Nothing! <muttering> God-damned <beep>tease!!
* Vegeta realizing how Freeza found out about the dragon balls.
--> '''Cui:''' The scouter was on the entire time!
--> '''Vegeta:''' That's impossible, my transmitter was off the entire time! Whose scouter was... (eyes focus, cuts away to him riding a space pod screaming:) '''[[SpannerInTheWorks GODDAMMIT NAPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]]'''!
* When Krillin hears the [[spoiler:fake]] Namekians talk about their penises:
---> '''Krillin:''' Wait a second! ''[[BrickJoke Namekians don't HAVE penises!]]''
[[WMG: Episode 13]]
* Roshi, on the telephone: "Could you speak up? I'm not wearing any pants."
* Every line uttered by Krillin in this episode.
--> (''After successfully hiding from the onslaught of Freeza's forces.'')
--> (after being asked several times if he felt Freeza and his men's power levels) Krillin: Yes Gohan, I noticed! On the bright side, I [[PottyFailure no longer]] [[BringMyBrownPants have to pee anymore]].
* After dealing with Bulma being a total cocktease on the ship, Krillin... ''releases'' some tension and takes ten whole minutes for it. When Bulma goes into the cave to set up camp...
--> '''Bulma:''' "Oh God, it's everywhere!!"
* The final moments of the episode, narrated by LittleKuriboh:
-->'''Narrator:''' A new evil has revealed its face. Who are these mysterious enemies, and do Gohan and Krillin stand a chance? The answers to these questions will be revealed... right now. Zarbon, Dodoria, Freeza, and Oh My, No.
-->'''Krillin:''' Wait, wha-"
-->(credits)
[[WMG: Episode 14]]
* In Episode 14...
-->'''Krillin:''' [[NobodyHereButUsBirds QUACK!!]]
** Oh, the joke goes much farther than that. Originally, in order to avoid being caught by Dodoria, Krillin pretends to be a space duck by yelling "Quack!" over and over. After being caught, he yells a parting quack as he and Gohan take Dende away. Much later on, Goku arrives on Namek. As he goes on about the planet's beauty and splendor, he hears Krillin's anguished cries of pain... and thinks it's a space duck. He only catches on to the plight when Krillin gives out a pathetic "Quack".
*** When Freeza appears after Porunga is summoned, Krillin tries to fool him into believing he is a Space Duck... While he's standing directly in front of Freeza.
---->'''Freeza:''' Well Vegeta, you've finally pulled it off. You've managed to dash my hopes entirely... With some help, I see...
---->'''Krillin:''' QUACK!
---->'''Gohan:''' Krillin, seriously not helping.
---->'''Krillin:''' I can try...
* Every response from Freeza and co. when the Namekian villagers did something to anger them.
-->'''Namekian Elder: ''' "Why are you here? Why are you killing our people?"
-->'''Freeza: ''' "Well I was just in the neighborhood, thought this was a lovely place for a summer home- Oh what the f*** do you think I'm here for!?"
-->'''Namekian Elder: ''' "Our trees?"
-->'''Freeza: ''' "...Zarbon, two or three more."
-->'''Zarbon: ''' "Two or three more?"
-->'''Freeza: ''' [[RuleOfThree "Two or three more."]]
* Freeza making a mental list of every heroic speech he hears.
-->'''Namekian:''' We're going... to... f*** your face!
-->'''Freeza:''' [laughs] Oh my! ''Twelve''.
* The muffin button. That is all.
-->'''Goku:''' This ship is awesome! Now, where's that button that makes blueberry muffins?
-->'''Dr. Briefs:''' There is no button like that. I never even considered it.
-->'''Goku:''' Are you sure? It'd be really nice to wake in the morning, push a button, and have muffins. That'd be great. Wink wink?
-->'''Dr. Briefs:''' Dammit, there is no muffin button!
-->'''Goku:''' Darn.
---> '''Krillin:''' Breathe, Gohan! You're a leaf. A leaf in a calm stream!
---> '''Gohan:''' (''pissed'') F██K THE STREAM!
[[WMG: Episode 15]]
* Goku has blasted off into space.
-->'''Dr. Briefs:''' You're incredibly lucky I already set the coordinates for Namek, but you, (''Goku has a muffin'') you... Where did you get that muffin?
-->'''Goku:''' Muffin button.
-->'''Dr. Briefs:''' But...I...never installed a muffin button.
-->'''Goku:''' Then where did I get this muffin...?
* Vegeta's reaction to [[spoiler: Dodoria]]'s true gender:
--> '''Vegeta:''' [[FlatWhat What]].
--> '''[[spoiler: Dodoria]]:''' I said I ''am'' a woman!!
--> '''*{{beat}}*'''
--> '''Vegeta:''' '''WHAT!?!?!'''
** What compounds the hilarity is that the second "What" sounds like (and probably is) Lanipator's real voice.
*** And this:
----> '''[[spoiler: Dodoria]]:''' And that's why I was considered the most beautiful, '''and''' fertile, woman on my home planet. Before Freeza blew it up.
----> '''Vegeta:''' He tends to do that. Also, [[{{Squick}} huuuugh.]]
----> Later...
----> '''[[spoiler: Dodoria]]:''' W-w-wait! You and I... we could team up against Freeza! Rule the Universe! ... As husband and wife.
[[WMG: Episode 16]]
* The beginning of episode 16. The audience knows what's about to happen, and the happy music and cheerful outlook of the Namekians make the coming slaughter of them by Vegeta all the more hilarious.
* The flashback of Freeza and Zarbon's conversation in which Freeza observes how badly things have been going on Namek.
-->'''Freeza''': You know, Zarbon, I'm starting to think that my people don't know what I pay them for.
-->'''Zarbon''': You ''don't'' pay us.
-->'''Freeza''': (hurriedly) Allow them to live for. I mean first we lose...what was his name?
-->'''Zarbon''': Kiwi?
-->'''Freeza''': Ah, Kiwi. Then we lose all of our scouters, and now Dodoria's dead? I'm sorry, but if this sh*t goes any further south, we're going to hit [[SpaceX Space Mexico]].
-->'''Zarbon''': What is it you want me to do, Lord Freeza?
-->'''Freeza''': What I want YOU to do is pull up your frilly stockings, tighten your thong, and stop being such a...
-->'''Vegeta''': [back to the present] Pansy!
-->'''Zarbon''': Wha-? [bumps into Vegeta] Vegeta, how dare you ram into me [[DoubleEntendre while I'm thinking about Lord Freeza and my thong!]]
-->'''Vegeta''': Yeah, just going to ignore that entirely.
* Anything Guru said in the episode 16...
-->'''Guru:''' I have a bitch of an itch on my left ass chee...''[sees Krillin]'' Naaaaaail. There is an albino Namekian in here. Kill it like the rest.
-->'''Krillin:''' Actually sir, I'm from Earth.
-->'''Guru:''' ...Kill it like the rest.
-->[...]
-->'''Guru:''' [Take the Dragon Ball]. Just don't steal the TV.
-->'''Nail:''' Sir, we... we don't have a television.
-->'''Guru:''' ...Naaaaail. Gather the rest of the Dragon Balls and wish for a plasma TV.
-->'''Nail:''' Sir, that would be a grievous misuse of their power.
-->'''Guru:''' I'm about to misuse my hand upside your heeeeaaaad!
-->[...]
-->'''Guru:''' So, the son of Katat has passed. Unfortunate.
-->'''Krillin:''' We just called him 'Kami'.
-->'''Guru:''' Oh, so he calls himself 'God'. Pretentious prick. Nail.
-->'''Nail:''' What?
-->'''Guru:''' I shall henceforth be known as: Super Kami.
-->'''Nail:''' Yes, Super Kami.
-->'''Guru:''' No, wait- Super Kami Guru.
-->'''Nail:''' Can I just call you Guru for short?
-->'''Guru:''' Super Kami Guru allows this.
* This exchange:
--> '''Krillin:''' Aw, you made a friend, Little Green? Oh, I know, I'm gonna call you "Big Green"!
--> '''Nail:''' Call me that again and I'll snap your neck.
--> '''Krillin:''' With that attitude, I don't think you should be friends with him, Little Green.
--> '''Nail:''' Listen, I don't care where you come from or who you are, I will not put up with such disrespe-
--> '''Guru:''' BIG GREEEEN! Get in here...
--> '''Nail:''' (irritated) Oh, good... goddamnit!
[[WMG: Episode 17]]
* From episode 17:
--> '''Vegeta:''' I've got a lovely bunch of dragon balls, dodododoodo, here they are all sitting in a bunch, do doo do. One Star, Two Star, all as big as my head! Give em a toss, a planet across, that's how Vegeta wins BU-BYE!
* And after that, him hiding in the water, complete with submarine noises:
--> '''Vegeta:''' Later, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitches.]] *awoooga! awoooga!*
* The glorious return of Ghost Nappa:
--> '''Ghost Nappa:''' (whistles) Is this thing on? Is it on? (tuning noises) OK, there we go! A-HA-HEM!! You are now thinking about what Zarbon did to you while you were unconscious. Have fun with that.
* Freeza and Zarbon's InnocentInnuendo.
--> '''Freeza:''' Ginyu, quick; double time! Zarbon really screwed the pooch on this one!
--> '''Zarbon:''' Lord Freeza! Vegeta's really giving us a pounding!
--> '''Freeza:''' I'm coming Zarbon! Quick, grab my balls!
--> '''Ginyu Force:''' (Laughter)
* Krillin (and later Gohan): "I got a Dragon Ball!"
* Krillin TemptingFate pretty badly.
--> '''Krillin:''' "At least we have a Dragon Ball!"
--> *Vegeta lands*
--> '''Vegeta:''' "Hi there! I'm taking your Dragon Ball"
* Bulma [[DistractedByTheSexy being distracted]] by Zarbon.
--> '''Bulma:''' Oh my God he's so hot! I just want to grab him and --
-->(Cut to Goku doing upside-down crunches)
-->'''Goku:''' -sixty nine, seventy, seventy-
-->'''Vegeta:''' -one time you've defeated me, Zarbon. And that's one time too many.
** Then Bulma's reaction to transformed Zarbon: [[KillItWithFire KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!]]
* Goku: "I'm gonna beat someone up!" and "I'm gonna beat him up!" and [[{{Squee}} "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"]]
* Zarbon is [[spoiler:straight]] and acts really surprised if someone calls him [[spoiler:gay]]. And even so, Zarbon still acts [[spoiler:like he's gay]].
-->'''Freeza:''' Oh... and all this time I could've sworn you were- ...never mind.
-->'''Zarbon:''' What? You thought I was single?
-->'''Freeza:''' Well, no, I just... I thought you were into... you know, it really doesn't matter.
-->'''Zarbon:''' Well it matters to me, because, frankly it sounds like you thought I was-
-->'''Random Minion:''' Lord Freeza! Vegeta's broken out of the healing-[[KilledMidSentence TAAAAANK! (dies by ki blast)]]
-->'''Freeza:''' Oh no, that minion died. Could you go fix that? [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain We'll continue this conversation never.]]
** Vegeta's final words to Zarbon as he prepares to [[spoiler:shoot a hole through his stomach]]. Doubly funny due to Zarbon's confused expression:
--->'''Vegeta:''' Let me put this in a way you'll understand; I'm about to blow my load all over your insides.
--->'''Zarbon:''' What the-
--->'''Vegeta:''' -No homo. ''[Va-'''VOOM''']''.
*** And then what he says after he dies:
---->'''Vegeta:''' '''F'''reaky '''A'''lien '''G'''enotype.
** After Freeza and Zarbon find that Vegeta has escaped:
---> '''Zarbon:''' Lord Freeza, I found a note!
---> '''Freeza:''' Let me see that! * reads note* It just says "Dear Freeza", and it's a picture of a [[InherentlyFunnyWords butt]].
---> '''Zarbon:''' ...Can I see it, Lord Freeza?
---> '''Freeza:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis VEGETA. DRAGON BALLS. NOW!]]
* This scene, especially the expressions Zarbon and Freeza have at the end of it.
-->'''Freeza:''' '''''APPULE'''''?! You left ''Appule'' here?!
-->'''Zarbon:''' Well I thought he could handle it!
-->'''Freeza:''' Appule couldn't handle a shot of raspberry schnapps, much less Vegeta!
* King Kai's telepathic "call" to Goku.
-->'''King Kai:''' Hello Goku? Do you hear me? I swear to God, if this is GeorgeTakei again, I'm gonna shove a brick up the Verizon guy's ass!
-->'''Goku:''' King Kai?
** King Kai then proceeds to order Goku to stay away from Freeza, warning him about his incredible power. Goku gets more and more excited about the prospect of fighting him until King Kai makes Goku ''promise'' not to do so.
--->'''Goku:''' Oh all right. I absolutely ''promise'' not to...click beeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
--->'''King Kai:''' What the-
--->'''Goku:'''...eeeeeeee *gasp* eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
--->'''King Kai:''' He... he hung up on me! How the hell did he even do that?!? Damn it, I'll call him back! *dialing sounds* Goku, I swear to God I will ride your ass on this one!
--->'''GeorgeTakei:''' '''Oh my!'''
--->'''King Kai:''' DAMN IT, TAKEI!
* The exchange between Zarbon and Appule:
-->'''Zarbon:''' Why isn't he naked?
-->'''Appule:''' Luckily we... [[FlatWhat what]].
-->'''Zarbon:''' In the healing tank. I always thought you needed to be nude.
-->'''Appule:''' Wh-... why would you think that?
-->'''Zarbon:''' You know, to... absorb all the healing... juices.
-->'''Appule:''' ...
-->'''Zarbon:''' ...Well, it looks like you have everything under control here! (quickly takes his leave)
-->'''Appule:''' ...Freaks me the f*** out.
* Guru telling Dende how old he is in the stinger:
-->'''Dende:''' Guru sir, I have a question.
-->'''Guru:''' Ask away.
-->'''Dende:''' You've been around for so long. Just how old are you?
-->'''Guru:''' I am this many. [doesn't move]
-->'''Dende:''' You didn't raise your hand.
-->'''Guru:''' THAT'S HOW OLD I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!
[[WMG: Episode 18]]
* In episode 18: Vegeta discovers the Dragonball he hid away is missing. [[TheScream This]] [[{{Understatement}} irritates]] [[UpToEleven him.]]
** On that same note, the fact that his scream can be heard ''by Goku in space, King Yemma in the afterlife'' (who mistakes it for his ex-wife) and '''TRUNKS TWENTY YEARS IN THE FUTURE ON ANOTHER PLANET IN AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE.'''
--->'''Trunks:''' Daddy?
** Then there's his InternalMonologue before TheScream.
--->'''Vegeta:''' God, I love it when a plan comes together! Took some time, effort, and lots of bodies, but now it's mine. Immortality is my bitch! Now, it should be right here...riiiight here... Where the hell is it? It couldn't have gone anywhere... All right, I'm going to close my eyes, and when I open them up it's going to be right here- it's not here. Why isn't it here!? I don't get it! Who could've-?! The kid! But, how could he have found it, it was- Wait. That watch...that watch wasn't a watch at all! It was some kind of Dragon Ball locator! Which means...''which means...!''
--->'''Ghost Nappa:''' He took the Dragon Ball.
* The whole "I need an adult" running gag:
-->'''Gohan:''' So, uh, can I help you?
-->'''Vegeta:''' (gently puts his hand on Gohan's face) No... But maybe I can help you.
-->'''Gohan:''' Uh... I need an adult...
-->'''Vegeta:''' I am an adult. (Knees him in the stomach)
-->'''Vegeta:''' By the way, I only hit you because I have pent up aggression against your father. Take that. (flies away)
** Later...
--->'''Krillin:''' Gohan, I'll be getting you to Guru's now.
--->'''Gohan:''' What? Why?
--->'''Krillin:''' So the old man can touch you, and pull things out of you that you never knew you had.
--->'''Gohan:''' ...I need an adult?
--->'''Krillin:''' I am an adult.
** Later still...
--->'''Guru:''' Now, relax as I reach deep inside you and grab hold of your essence.
--->'''Gohan:''' I... need an adul-
--->'''Guru:''' '''''I AM AN ADUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-''''' (cuts away)
*** While it doesn't feature the "I need an adult" phrase, the joke leading up to it is pretty hilarious too.
----> '''Gohan:''' Mr. Guru, sir? My friend Krillin told me that you could help us by... touching me.
----> '''Guru:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice Do I look]] [[AcceptableTargets Catholic]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice to you?]]
* This exchange between Nail and Vegeta:
-->'''Nail:''' Hello? Can I ... help you with something?
-->'''Vegeta:''' Yeah, the first thing you can do is go die, save me the trouble.
-->'''Nail:''' Ooh! Ooh! Is this really happening? 'cause I really hope it is.
-->'''Vegeta:''' (laughs) Oh trust me, you don't want any of what I am now.
-->'''Nail:''' Then come on, bring on [[TheNapoleon all four feet of you]]. Or should I count your stupid hair?
-->'''Vegeta:''' Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal slug.
-->'''Nail:''' Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal ''bitch''.
* Krillin's ReasonYouSuckSpeech to Bulma in Episode 18.
-->'''Krillin:''' (In response to why he didn't stop Vegeta from taking a Dragon Ball) I don't know! Maybe you could've '''''bitched''''' at him! How 'bout that? That's all you appear to be good for these days! Huh? Used your '''''bitch fu''''' on him? Bulma, the mistress of '''''bitching''''', that's what they should call you!
** After the Vegeta and Gohan scene:
--->'''Krillin:''' Seriously! Five ancient sages of '''''bitchdom''''' all gathered one day on the peaks of Mount '''''Bitch''''' to proclaim your birth! And a hundred years later, when all the '''''bitch''''' stars have aligned, you were born and made everybody's life around you a living hell, because '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis YOU! ARE SUCH! A BITCH!]]'''''
* The long-awaited arrival of the Ginyu Force:
-->'''Vegeta:''' Besides Freeza, I'm the most powerful being on this planet! [[TemptingFate Bar none.]]
-->'''Guru:''' Heeeey. Just thought I'd let you all know I detect several high power levels approaching the planet.
-->'''Vegeta:''' ''What!?'' Several high power levels?
-->'''Guru:''' There are five of them in total.
-->'''Vegeta:''' ''Five of them!?''
-->'''Guru:''' And they're all '''INCREEEEEDIBLY FLAMBOYANT!'''
-->'''Vegeta:''' [[OhCrap OH GOD!]] IT'S ''THEM''!!
* Vegeta after he finally catches up with Krillin. He can't speak coherently, his eyes are bloodshot, and he's yelling at Ghost Nappa.
-->'''Vegeta:''' I-am-here-for-''it''.
-->'''Krillin:''' For what?
-->'''Vegeta:''' Dragon- '''ball'''. I- need- that Dragonball. ''Give it to me''. The-one-you-took. I Need my wish.
-->'''Krillin:''' (''scared'') Are... you okay?
-->'''Ghost Nappa:''' I think your rage broke Vegeta.
-->'''Vegeta:''' '''''SHUT UP GHOST OF NAPPA!'''''
-->'''Krillin:''' What was that?
-->'''Vegeta:''' '''I'MNOTCRAZY!!''' '''''YOU'RE''''' CRAZY! Especially ''you'', Nappa!
-->'''Ghost Nappa:''' [[HappyDays Eeeeey!]]
-->'''Krillin:''' Who are you talking t-
-->'''Vegeta:''' ''Dragon''ball! ''Hand'' now, please!
** Perhaps more funny is the constant "drug withdrawal" DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything during the above.
* When Vegeta regains his wits, Krillin blabs about Guru's ability to release untapped potential.
-->'''Vegeta:''' I'm gonna go pay him a... uh... what do you call it?
-->'''Krillin:''' A visit?
-->'''Vegeta:''' A beating! That's it! Gunna go pay him a beating.
* The entire end of Episode 18, with Goku trying to think of what to drink.
-->'''Beer:''' No, it's too early to get crunk.\\
'''Powerthirst:''' Ehh, energy drinks just don't do it for me anymore.\\
'''Peanuts:''' Ha ha, I can't drink these, these are nuts!\\
'''TFS Soda:''' This looks delicious! And it's high in Calcium! ''Team Four Star Soda''!
* Every time Guru shouts at Nail, especially when Nail is preparing to pulverize Vegeta.
-->'''Guru:''' Naaaaaail!!! Stop making out with your boyfriend! I can hear it from here! It sounds like (gagging and slurping noises)
-->'''Nail:''' (pissed) ''Thank you, lord Guru!''
* When Gohan arrives with Vegeta's Dragonball in episode 18:
-->'''Gohan:''' You guys, I think we should move to a new location.
-->'''Krillin:''' Why? What's wrong with this place?
-->'''Gohan:''' Because we have ten minutes before Vegeta finds out I stole this (Dragonball)
-->'''Krillin:''' (Terrified, high-pitched whimpering noises as Gohan smiles sweetly)
* Bulma hating the fact that she's always getting abandoned on Namek.
-->'''Bulma:''' Oh no, no no ''no!'' I am not letting you abandon me here again! Those bitches on Lifetime might put up with it, but not me!
-->'''Krillin:''' Bulma, you're right. You have been very helpful and very patient with us. So in return...we'relettingyouwatchthedragonballbye! (''He and Gohan fly off'')
-->'''Bulma:''' ''I will kill you both in your sleep!''
[[WMG: Episode 19]]
* The Wheel of Death routine from episode 19. Even funnier because this is exactly what the Ginyu Force would do with enough time and preparation. Then there's Vegeta's reaction.
-->'''Vegeta:''' When did you have time to set this up?! Is- is that a camera? What kind of sadistic retard watches this crap?!
-->'''Freeza:''' Love this show.
* Vegeta sounding like Advertising/TheManYourManCouldSmellLike.
-->'''Vegeta''' Look at your men, now back to me, now look back at your men, ''now back to me.'' I am not your men! [[FlippingTheBird I'm flipping you off!]] Look at the ground, back to me. Where is the Dragonball? It's gone! I threw it! And there's not a damn thing you can-\\
(''Burter returns the Dragon Ball to Ginyu'')\\
'''Burter:''' Here you go, boss.\\
'''Ginyu:''' Thank you, Burter.\\
'''Burter:''' It's what I do!\\
'''Vegeta:''' But... I... ''I chucked that son of a bitch as hard as I could''!\\
'''Burter:''' Oh, you can't beat my speed! I'm the fastest in the universe!\\
'''Krillin:''' ThatsWhatSheSaid!
* While Vegeta's spouting off various ways of saying they're going to die:
--> '''Super Kami Guru:''' Naaaaaaaiiillll! Slap him.
-->(Slap is heard)
-->'''Krillin:''' Ow!
-->'''Super Kami Guru:''' Thank you.
** Even more hilarious from behind the scenes since both Krillin and Vegeta are voiced by the same guy.
* Vegeta's reaction to Krillin deciding to call them "Team Three Star."
-->'''Vegeta:''' [[FlatWhat What.]]
-->'''Krillin:''' Well, we're a '''TEAM''', there's '''THREE''' of us, and the Dragon Balls have '''STARS''' on them! Team Three Star!
-->'''Vegeta:''' That just makes me want to kill you even more, and you're ''STILL'' only the second most annoying bald person I ever had the displeasure to work with.
-->'''Krillin:''' Team Three Star, MOVE OUT! *flies away*
-->'''Vegeta:''' I swear to god...! *flies after him*
** Later in the same episode, after Krillin has messed up again.
--->'''Ginyu:''' Supposedly there are seven (Dragon Balls) in total, if my report is correct. And the other five are-?
--->'''Krillin:''' (scared, shouts out quickly) RIGHT-BEHIND-YOU!
--->'''Vegeta:''' My '''GOD''' man, you just cannot-!
--->'''Krillin:''' (still running his mouth quickly) [=ShutupwhenImscared=],[=Iknow=]! [[ShownTheirWork IoncegotacrushonalittleindianboythatIthoughtwasagirl]].
--->'''Vegeta:''' Please kill him. ''Seriously'', he won't be missed.
* Bulma's [[BlackComedyRape attempted rape]] [[AllJustADream fantasy]] with [[ShipTease Vegeta]] should also count. It's CrossesTheLineTwice at best.
-->'''Vegeta:''' (with a menacing tone) Hello, Earth woman.
--> (''Bulma stammers with fear.'')
--> '''Vegeta:''' You know what I want. Now, give it to me!
--> '''Bulma:''' (scared) The... the Dragonball's right there.
--> '''Vegeta:''' Oh, I'm not here for the Dragonball.
--> '''Bulma:''' Wha... what?
--> '''Vegeta:''' '''''Spread 'em!'''''
--> (''Bulma, with fear, prepares herself, then falls down back to reality as Krillin unties the Dragonball to her foot.'')
--> '''Krillin:''' (with a quick tone) Takin' the Dragonball! Bitch at me later! (flies off)
--> '''Vegeta:''' Your hair looks stupid! (flies off)
--> '''Gohan:''' Sorry, Bulma! (flies off)
--> '''Bulma:''' '''''ALL OF MY HATE!'''''
* On the way to where Vegeta has the Dragon Balls, we get this exchange between Gohan and Vegeta:
-->'''Gohan:''' Vegeta, if you don't mind me asking, what are we in for?
-->'''Vegeta:''' You ever watch PowerRangers?
-->'''Gohan:''' No.
-->'''Vegeta:''' [[{{TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles}} Ninja Turtles?]]
-->'''Gohan:''' No.
-->'''Vegeta:''' SailorMoon?
-->'''Gohan:''' No.
-->'''Vegeta:''' [[{{BigBadBeetleborgs}} Beetleborgs?]]
-->'''Gohan:''' No.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Series/VRTroopers?
-->'''Gohan:''' No.
-->'''Vegeta:''' [[{{SuperhumanSamuraiSyber-Squad}} Samurai Syber-Squad]]?
-->'''Gohan:''' No.
-->'''Vegeta:''' [[{{Beat}} ...]] TattooedTeenageAlienFightersFromBeverlyHills?
-->'''Gohan:''' Oh yeah!
-->'''Vegeta:''' Goddamn it!
** For a meta CMOF, try to look up videos of that last show on YouTube: chances are that you'll find several comments from people who thought [[AluminiumChristmasTrees TFS was making this up]].
* Or when Vegeta tells Krillin to destroy the Dragon ball in the same episode, [[HilarityEnsues Krillin fails, while Vegeta keeps screaming at him to hit it harder.]]
* Krillin on the receiving end of [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventure Za Warudo.]]
-->'''Krillin:''' Gohan! Did you see? His power, he can-!
-->'''Gohan:''' Stop time?
-->'''Krillin:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Summon steamrollers!]]
-->'''Gohan:''' (dumbfounded) Y-You sure?
-->'''Krillin:''' Positive!
* Vegeta's hurricane of {{Unusual Euphemism}}s as TheStinger of Episode 19.
--> '''Vegeta:''' "Son of a g[[spoiler:um]]-[[spoiler:chewing]] fu[[spoiler:n]]k monster! Why the f[[spoiler:ruit]] does all this fu[[spoiler:nny]] s[[spoiler:tuff]] happen to me? F[[spoiler:orget]] my life! Always surrounded by m[[spoiler:iserable]] f[[spoiler:ail]]ing c[[spoiler:lods]]! It's like this whole world just likes to bend me over and f[[spoiler:ind]] me in the A[[spoiler:lp]]s! Like I'm some sort of sh[[spoiler:lock]] receptacle! Well as far as I care, these miserable c[[spoiler:ow]]s can have a f[[spoiler:ancy barbecue]], WITH A '''GODDAMN PIG'''!"
--> '''Ginyu:''' Jeice, do you MIND??
--> '''Jeice:''' Sorry captain, this scouter's acting a bit shonky.
* Go Space Broncos!
* [[OhCrap "Why can't I feel my everything?"]]
** Guldo getting dog treats thrown at him.
** Or Vegeta's advice to Krillin on how to fight him:
--->'''Vegeta:''' Throw dog treats at him.
--->'''Krillin:''' How will that help?
--->'''Vegeta:''' I'll find it ''hilarious.''
** And finally, Guldo's FacingTheBulletsOneLiner, as he realises he is dying, and begins to contemplate his afterlife and what it all means... [[spoiler:before Vegeta throws another dog treat at him.]]
--->'''Guldo:''' ...I '''''f***ing hate you'''''.
--->'''Vegeta:''' I know. '''''[VA-VOOM]'''''
* "Sure is [[UnusualEuphemism Zarbon]] in here."
[[WMG: Episode 20]]
* The Ginyu Force mourns Guldo.
-->'''Jeice:''' Oi! Oi, is that Guldo over there? Is he dead?
-->'''Recoome:''' How tragic.
-->{{Beat}}
-->'''Burter:''' Not telling the captain, 1-2-3, not it!
-->'''Recoome:''' Not it!
-->'''Jeice:''' Not it- Oh, ''wankers.''
** [[spoiler:Becomes a little HarsherInHindsight when Jeice has to tell Ginyu that the ENTIRE TEAM except the two of them are dead.]]
* Recoome's BadassBoast.
* After Recoome's first BadassBoast:
--> '''Vegeta:''' Wrestling's fake. (boos and jeers - [[TheSimpsons and a "you suck-diddly-uck"]]) Oh, go to hell, all of you! And if it means getting this damn thing over with, then I'm just going to have to kill your ass! Now hit ''my'' music.
--> *''Anime/DragonBallGT'' ThemeTuneRap plays*
--> '''Vegeta:''' Oh, the f*** with this!
* While it might be funny only to wrestling fans, Jeice using "[[JimRoss slobberknocker]]" and "[[MichaelCole vintage]]" while commentating is quite hilarious.
** And, of course, "Piledriver! '''PILEDRIVER!!'''"
* This bit after Krillin got owned for the 12th time:
-->'''Krillin:''' HELLO GOHAN, HAVE YOU DONE YOUR HOMEWORK BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, CHI-CHI WILL '''''KICK''''' MY ASS!
-->'''Gohan:''' Ah, are you okay?
-->'''Krillin:''' Yeah, seems he threw my nervous system out of whack, there. Can't quite feel the pain!
-->(''Beat'')
-->'''Krillin:''' There it is! AAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOWWWWW...
* Dende feeling sad that he's one of the few Namekians alive.
-->'''Guru:''' (monotone singing) Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited you. Party pooper. Party pooper.\\
'''Nail:''' Lord Guru...\\
'''Guru:''' WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE.
* "Silly Vegeta! [[NoSell The only thing Recoome sells]], is merchandise!" *Cue images of merchandise with Recoome on them popping up, including a vibrator with his head*
* After Gohan and Krillin have saved Vegeta by forcing Recoome's mouth shut while he was using his BreathWeapon:
-->'''Recoome:''' (''his mouth is all messed up'') Can Recoome get a mirror? He feels like he might have chipped a tooth.
-->'''Krillin:''' (''offscreen'') Dear God, what happened to your face?!
* The entire Spacey's skit. It's good food. InSpace.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Episodes 21-30]]
[[WMG:Episode 21]]
* "WE GET IT! YOU'RE FROM [[SpaceX SPACE AUSTRALIA]]!!!"
* Episode 21, Jeice getting punched in the face over and over again is enough to make you fall down laughing.
** Especially when he tries to think about what Ginyu said to do in that situation... only for Goku to punch him again mid-flashback. Jeice then holds his face and screams "Oh, he cut off the captain!"
** Jeice can't rely on his squad mates either:
--->'''Jeice:''' Alright, you bastard! Prepare to face the wrath of the Ginyu For*punch* AHH! You goddamn wanker! You punched me right in the*punch* Ah, he did it again! *punch* Ahh! Stop it! Stop it! *punch* '''PISS!!!''' Oh... what would the captain do in this situation?!\\
'''Ginyu:''' Jeice, if you ever find yourself being punched repeatedly in the face, always remember to*punch*\\
'''Jeice:''' Oh, he cut off the captain!\\
'''Goku:''' So, are you going to ''dodge'' any of these?\\
'''Jeice:''' Ohhh, THAT'S what the Captain*punch* ''BURTER! SUPPORT!!''\\
'''Burter:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Well, you've got very lovely hair, you're a beautiful shade of red, and honestly, you're the only guy I can rely on on this team.]]\\
'''Jeice:''' I MEANT PUNCH 'IM, YA DAFT BASTARD!! AGGH! Oh, but thanks, you know? That really cheered me*punch*'' GOD, I THINK HE BROKE SOMETHING THAT TIME!!
** Jeice and Burter have a touching display of camaraderie, showing how good friends they are and promising to go out drinking once it’s all over, the music swells... and Goku one-shots Burter.
* Freeza's rant: "I can't believe we came all the way out here and spent a week in the [[SpaceX Space]] [[DeepSouth Boonies]] for nothing! Seriously, I'm surprised we didn't hear ''banjos'' on the way, because everyone is inbred and [[OnlySixFaces LOOKS THE F***ING SAME!]] Not to mention I lost Dodoria ''and'' Zarbon, the latter of whom spent 400 credits making long-distance calls to his [[spoiler: girlfriend]], WHO I AM CONVINCED IS NAMED CHUCK!"
* This.
-->'''Freeza:''' (''After Ginyu has brought him the Dragon balls and finished the Dance of Joy, which was authorized by Freeza's father) ''Now, let's wish me some immortality!
-->'''Ginyu:''' Not quite yet, Lord Freeza. Lastly, I must complete the "Daddy's Little Princess" dance!
-->'''Freeza:''' (''indignant'') My father would command no such thing!
-->'''Ginyu:''' You are correct, Lord Freeza!
-->'''Freeza:''' Very well.
-->'''Ginyu:''' It was your brother!
-->'''Freeza:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-
** After the Dragon Balls don't work.
--->'''Ginyu:''' Might I suggest the dance of cheering you up?
--->'''Freeza:''' ...proceed.
*** "And now, the Dance of Solitude!"
* After Goku arrives, Recoome is trying to get people to pay attention to him.
--> '''Recoome:''' Hey! Recoome was in the middle of a match here, so how about you-
--> '''Goku:''' Sir! I am talking to my son.
--> '''Recoome:''' Oh. Recoome apologizes. Wait, what am I apologizing for? RECOOME'S GONNA KILL YOU!!
* "You think that's bad? If you hit 'em hard enough you can play a song." Cue Vegeta playing the Tetris theme by repeatedly kneeing Burter in the throat.
* Vegeta's [[MassEffect Renegade Interrupt]].
* Gohan is fed a senzu bean. [[FinalFantasy A green 9999 appears over his head and the healing ding plays]].
* "Silly Gohan! Animals don't eat people - people eat animals! Silly Gohan!"
* Vegeta's excuse about being so beat up:
-->'''Goku:''' So Vegeta, what happened to you? Did you get beat up by this guy? (talking about Recoome)
-->'''Recoome:''' *groaning in pain*
-->'''Vegeta:''' (stammering) Uhhh no...I..umm...uh..
-->'''Ghost Nappa:''' You fell down some stairs.
-->'''Vegeta:''' I fell down some stairs.
-->'''Krillin:''' No you didn't, you-
-->'''Vegeta:''' Shut up before I throw you down a flight!
* [[MCHammer STOP! Goku time!]]
[[WMG: Episode 22]]
* Episode 22: Another great Guru line - "And so I tell him, 'I don't care who you are, now ''clean my jowls''!' ...And that was Nail's first day on the job." Then, after Guru unlocks Dende's potential, Dende leaves. Guru's response? '''"Thaaaat ''SLUUUUUUUUUTTT!!"'''''
* Also from 22:
-->'''Guru:''' NNAAAAAIIIILLLL! Do we have a visitor?\\
'''Nail:''' Yes sir.\\
'''Guru:''' NNNNAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIILLLLLL! Take his coat.\\
'''Freeza:''' I don't have a coat.\\
'''Nail:''' He doesn't have a coat sir. ''[looks at Freeza]'' And I believe this is the guy who basically just killed our whole race.\\
'''Guru:''' ''[sounding a bit annoyed]'' NNNNNNAAAAAAIIIIILLLLLLL. Don't take his coat.
** Later...
---> '''Freeza:''' I have the distinct feeling that you're going to be difficult.
---> '''Nail:''' Well Sir, if you're having a problem with our Customer Support you can call 1-800-eat-a-d*ck!
---> '''Super Kami Guru:''' We don't even have those!
* '''''KILLING CRABS! IN THE OCEAN!'''''
-->'''Krillin:''' When the dragon balls are all put together, the sky grows darker than the blackest void!
-->'''Popo:''' (on Earth) Hm?
* Later, when Freeza is going to Guru:
-->'''Freeza:''' (passing Dende) Good afternoon.
-->'''Dende:''' It's morning. (in Namekian) ''Douche.''
-->'''Freeza:''' Cute kid. Seems familiar.
* '''"Oh god. NATURAL LIGHT!"'''
* "I utilize these poses as a means of reinvigorating my men and raising morale. HOW DARE YOU MOCK THEM!"
* Ginyu meeting Goku
-->'''Jeice:''' That's him, Captain! That's the one who beat us up!
-->'''Ginyu:''' What?! Just look at HIS [[AnimeHair hair]]! He looks like he just got out of bed! For goodness sake, Jeice, he's even wearing pajamas.
-->'''Jeice:''' I swear it's him, sir. He picked us apart one by one. We never stood a cha--
-->''[Goku [[RunningGag punches Jeice]].]''
-->'''Jeice:''' OH, THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR!
-->'''Ginyu:''' Jeice, what have I told you?
* Nail again demonstrating his aptitude at passive-aggressive [[YouFightLikeACow trash talk]]:
-->'''Freeza:''' You see, I recently acquired what you people referred to as Dragon Balls, but I'm having trouble getting them to do what I want.
-->'''Nail:''' Did you try [[DoubleEntendre working the shaft?]]
-->'''Freeza:''' ...Classy.
** Which leads to...
--->'''Guru:''' Naaail, what does he want?
--->'''Nail:''' He wants to know how to use the Dragon Balls.
--->'''Guru:''' Did you tell him to try working the shaft?
--->'''Nail:''' Yes, Lord Guru.
--->'''Guru:''' Good work, Nail.
* After Freeza sees Guru for the first time:
-->'''Freeza:''' Good Lord! I was lead to believe your species survived almost entirely on water! How is he so fat?!
-->'''Guru:''' Oh, hello. I'm Super Kami Guru. And I'm the guy who is not judging you on your appearance.
** [[spoiler: Becomes a FunnyAneurysmMoment when you find out in episode 30 that he's the one who drank all the water, caused the drought, blamed it on the albino Namekians, then ordered their extermination as punishment.]]
* (re: the Ginyu Force's defeat)
-->'''Captain Ginyu:''' Did (Recoome) at least die with dignity?
-->(Cut to Recoome lying face down on the ground, his naked ass in the air. Buzzing flies are heard.)
-->'''Jeice:''' Err...Define "dignity", Cap'n.
* This exchange:
-->'''Jeice:''' Well, cap'n, if you're getting stressed, you could always... ya know...
-->'''Ginyu:''' Jeice! This is hardly the time nor the place. Besides, [[ADateWithRosiePalms I already did it in the pod]] [[BrickJoke on the way here]].
-->'''Jeice:''' ...I meant ''switch bodies'', sir...
[[WMG: Episode 23]]
* Krillin and Gohan discussing why the Namekian Dragon Balls aren't working.
-->'''Gohan:''' Maybe there's something special about Namekian Dragon Balls.
-->'''Krillin:''' Maybe if I sing to it. ''I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves-''
-->'''Gohan:''' -Actually, Krillin, I was thinking something else. Maybe the only way to summon it is to call it in its native language.
-->'''Krillin:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I don't speak German!]] And the only person I know that does was the toilet... and it's dead. God rest his seat.
* Bulma calling out Krillin and Gohan on leaving her alone all the time, and Krillin pointing out the logic of her problem:
-->'''Bulma:''' Why?! Why would you leave me alone here?! I don't know this place! Did you know there are [[GiantEnemyCrab giant crabs]] [[DoubleEntendre down there]]?! I do! I KILLED ONE!
-->'''Krillin:''' Okay, Bulma, just calm down. Why are you upset?
-->'''Bulma:''' Why?! Because I am always alone!
-->'''Krillin:''' And if we were to stay here, what would that accomplish?
-->'''Bulma:''' ...just take the f***ing radar.
-->'''Krillin:''' Thank you, Bulma. Say "Thank you", Gohan.
-->'''Gohan:''' Thank you, Bulma.
-->'''Bulma:''' No problem, Gohan.
-->'''Krillin:''' And no problem...
-->'''Bulma:''' Shove it!
-->'''Krillin:''' I'll take it.
* Also:
-->'''Freeza:''' (to Nail) Oh, I know. How bout a good old-fashioned joke? How many Namekians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Their whole race. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest to die. And then the other one dies too.
** Freeza is just terrible, [[FauxAffablyEvil in the funniest way possible.]]
---> '''Freeza:''' So. We've been flying for about twenty minutes now. Got any family? Because if so I probably killed them. [{{beat}}] Stop ignoring me.
* Vegeta imagining himself yelling "Team Three Star" just before breaking Krillin's neck.
--> "Amazing."
* Two soldiers talking about [[StockScream the Wilhelm scream]] and trying to imitate it. Vegeta then knocks one to his death, which makes him do the real deal.
-->'''Soldier:''' Dude, that was totally it! (dies, emitting the scream as well)
** Made even funnier when after that, everyone else very clearly also has a stock scream... of VideoGame/TeamFortress2 characters. Also after the slaughter:
--->'''Vegeta:''' (jumping into Freeza's base, deadpan) Weeeeeeee.
* When Gohan is fighting Ginyu in Goku's body:
-->'''Ginyu:''' (in Goku's body) This is absurd! His power level was a league above my own when we fought! What the blazes is going on?!
-->'''Goku:''' (in Ginyu's body) Ha ha! You don't know any of my techniques!
-->'''Ginyu:''' What techniques? Tell me!
-->'''Goku:''' I'm not gonna tell you how to use the Kaio-ken!
-->'''Ginyu:''' Kaio-wha-? (Kicked by Gohan and Krillin at the same time)
* Ginyu!Goku getting confused about who is in whose body.
-->'''Ginyu!Goku:''' (After Goku!Ginyu flies off) Man... I'm a jerk now...
-->'''Ginyu!Goku:''' (after hearing Vegeta explain that Kakarot and Goku refer to the same person) So does that make me Ginyu?
-->'''Ginyu!Goku:''' (blocking Vegeta from Ginyu's body change) I'll save you, Goku!
* Vegeta's answer to Ginyu's request for a moment of silence.
--> '''Goku!Ginyu:''' Just...just allow me a customary moment of silence.
--> *{{Beat}}*
--> '''Vegeta:''' [[WesternAnimation/FindingNemo Mine mine mine minemineMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE]]! (Bashes Ginyu!Goku into the ground.)
* This conversation:
--> '''Vegeta:''' The best part about this- I get to kill both Ginyu AND Kakarot at the same time?
--> '''Goku!Ginyu:''' Wait, who's Kakarot?
--> '''Vegeta:''' You're Kakarot.
--> '''Goku!Ginyu:''' I thought his name was Goku.
--> '''Krillin:''' His name is Goku!
--> '''Vegeta:''' No, it's Kakarot.
--> '''Goku!Ginyu:''' But he just said Goku.
--> '''Krillin:''' Yeah, I did.
--> '''Vegeta:''' I know what he said but he-
--> '''Goku!Ginyu:''' : So what is it? Kakarot or Goku?
--> '''Vegeta and Krillin:''' It's Kakarot!/It's Goku!
--> '''Vegeta:''' No, no, no! Just...look. His Saiyan name is Kakarot, but he changed it when he landed on Earth as a baby. So they kept calling him by his Earth name, and I am calling him by his real name!
--> '''Ginyu!Goku:''' ...so does that make me Ginyu?
--> '''Vegeta:''' *[[{{Angrish}} screams in rage]]*
* Gohan's snaps and starts CallingTheOldManOut.
-->'''Krillin:''' Gohan, we might have a chance now! But you have to give it your all! Remember, (Ginyu) may look like your dad, you can absolutely not hold back-
-->'''Gohan''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! You abandoned me for a year with Piccolo, sent me off into space, and the next time I get to see you, [[GrandTheftMe you lost your damn body?!]] YOU'RE NOT EVEN YOU ANYMOOOOORE!
-->'''Ginyu!Goku:''' I don't know where he gets ''that'' from.
* This line:
-->'''Ginyu!Goku:''' This is easily the second worst hole I've had in my chest. It's going to take, like, a million mommy kisses to make this feel better.
[[WMG: Episode 24]]
* Freeza and Nail's confrontation:
-->'''Nail:''' (attacks Freeza mid-sentence) HAAAAA!
-->'''Freeza:''' [[NoSell Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know we were starting.]] Here, allow me. (rips Nail's arm off)
-->'''Nail:''' AAAAAAHHHHHH! (falls to his knees in agony)
-->'''Freeza:''' Looks like someone's going to be missing this! (Drops Nail's severed arm in front of him)
-->'''Nail:''' [[GoodThingYouCanHeal No, not really.]] (grows a new arm)
-->'''Freeza:''' Ooh, that looks like it hurts a ''lot''. [[AffablyEvil Are you okay?]]
-->'''Nail:''' I'm fine!
-->'''Freeza:''' Good to know. [[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud Yoink!]] (rips off Nail's new arm)
** In their next scene, there's a whole pile of mutilated arms on the ground.
--->'''Freeza:''' How many arms do you think we're up to? [[CrossesTheLineTwice I think we're up to 24.]]
*** [[StealthPun Also a reference to the episode number.]]
* Vegeta, Gohan, and Krillin taking Goku to the healing tank in the ship:
-->'''Vegeta:''' It'll take a while, though. This is the only other model the ship has. And it's kind of an old one.
-->'''Krillin:''' What happened to the newer model?
-->'''Vegeta:''' Blew it the f*** up.
-->'''Krillin:''' What, did it have an opinion?
-->'''Vegeta:''' Eat me. [...] Now, both of you, [[EvilSoundsDeep STRIP.]]
-->'''Krillin:''' Ummmm...
-->'''Vegeta:''' I've got body armor for you.
-->'''Krillin:''' ...Less awkward.
* Krillin and Gohan [[LampshadeHanging lampshading]] [[ScheduleSlip how long they've been on Namek]].
-->'''Krillin:''' You know, Gohan. It just occurred to me.
-->'''Gohan:''' Yeah, Krillin?
-->'''Krillin:''' [[ArcFatigue We're still on Namek.]]
-->'''Gohan:''' What do you mean?
-->'''Krillin:''' Well, it feels like we've been here for like, a year.
-->'''Gohan:''' [[ComicBookTime But we've only been here for six days!]]
-->'''Krillin:''' I know, right?!
* Krillin unintentionally giving Vegeta flashbacks from the previous season:
-->'''Krillin:''' Hey, by the way, don't I look like that one guy that Vegeta landed with back on Earth? What was his name, again? [[CallBack Hey, Vegeta!]] What was that one guy's name? [[RunningGag Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?]] [[OverlyLongGag Vegeta?]] (Nappa's head appears) [[MostAnnoyingSound Vegeta? Vegeta?]]
-->'''Vegeta:''' (Scowls) Goddamnit, Nappa.
-->'''Krillin:''' Oh, right! Good ol' Goddamnit Nappa.
* George Takei randomly interrupting the conversation between Goku and King Kai:
-->'''Goku:''' Who's that, King Kai?
-->'''King Kai:''' It's George Takei. Somehow we made this into a [[AccidentalInnuendo three-way.]]
-->'''George Takei:''' [[CatchPhrase Ohhhh]] ''[[CatchPhrase my!]]''
-->'''King Kai:''' ''[[ThatCameOutWrong Call!]]'' Three-way ''call''!
* Dende starts screaming in terror when he thinks he's been caught by one of Freeza's henchmen. Then he realizes it's Krillin, and he screams ''even louder.''
* Gohan's inner monologue as he reflects on his life:
-->'''Gohan:''' Then again, I don't really know anyone my own age. My best friends are a 26 year-old dwarf, and a giant green alien who [[HilariouslyAbusiveChildhood constantly hits me.]] [[ParentalNeglect Still, better than my dad. At least they're ''around'' ]]. ...Huh. Where did [[CallBack that]] come from?
* Porunga's introduction:
-->'''Krillin:''' Holy crap, your dragon's on steroids!
-->'''Porunga:''' (In Namekian) ''I am Porunga, Dragon of Dreams, and I-- [sees Krillin]...Why is there an Albino Namekian amongst you? I thought they were wiped out in the purge!''
-->'''Dende:''' ''Actually, they're earthlings.''
-->'''Porunga:''' ''[[HumansAreUgly God, they're ugly.]]''
-->'''Dende:''' ''And annoying.''
* King Kai communicating with Krillin:
-->'''Krillin:''' We get three wishes? That's awesome! I want a three foot long-
-->'''King Kai:''' Stop screwing around and wish these idiots off my planet!
-->'''Krillin:''' Holy crap, I can hear a voice inside my head!
-->'''Dende:''' Is it telling you [[MyNameIsNotDurwood my name is Dende?]]
-->'''Krillin:''' Hush, Little Green! The voice speaks to me.
-->'''King Kai:''' This is King Kai. Wish these guys back to life before I kill myself.
-->'''Krillin:''' Wait, can gods kill themselves?
-->'''King Kai:''' I'M ABOUT TO TRY!
* No one cares what Yamcha thinks!
* Piccolo's reaction to being sent to a random spot on Namek:
-->'''Krillin:''' Little Green, wish our friend Piccolo back to life, and then with our next wish, bring him to Namek.
-->'''Piccolo:''' Hold on a minute, don't do that! That is a terrible i--(is resurrected and brought to Namek)--dea!
-->''[Piccolo's can be heard screaming in the distance.]''
-->'''Dende:''' He is on Namek.
-->'''Gohan:''' Wait, where is he?
-->'''Dende:''' On Namek.
-->'''Piccolo:''' (in the distance) You dumbass!
-->'''Krillin:''' Why didn't it bring him here?
-->'''Dende:''' You must be specific.
-->'''Gohan:''' Oh, so it's a [[ViewersAreGeniuses sort of monkey's paw.]] [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor You have to be careful with the hubris in your wishes.]]
-->'''Piccolo:''' (still in the distance) [[CatchPhrase NEEEEEEEERRRRDDD!]]
* Apparently, Goku was right; Vegeta ''does'' have a very nervous bladder.
-->'''Vegeta:''' (suddenly wakes up, jumps to his feet, fists clenched) I have to pee! (bolts out of the room)
** It also takes him ''way'' too long to figure out why the sky has turned dark: ''"Jesus, I overslept. It's already night...for the first time since I got here...on a planet with three suns." (Alarm clock in his head ticks, then goes off after several seconds) "Oh you mother''-(cut back to the dragon)-''FUCKERS!"'' (you can also hear Piccolo shout "Ow, my ears!"). [[CallBack But when he does...]]
--->'''Krillin:''' (on what he should use the third wish for) I want my three-foot!-
--->'''Vegeta:''' (visibly furious) '''HEY!! WHAT'S UP GUYS?!'''
--->'''Krillin:''' I'm never gonna get my hoagie.
--->'''Vegeta:''' '''SO WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?!'''
--->'''Gohan:''' What am I doin'?
--->'''Vegeta:''' '''WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?!'''
--->'''Gohan:''' Nothing much.
--->'''Vegeta:''' '''THWARTIN' MAH PLANS?!'''
--->'''Gohan:''' Thwartin' your plans?
--->'''Vegeta:''' '''ARE YOU?!'''
--->'''Gohan:''' ...Yes.
--->'''Vegeta:''' '''...I'M GONNA F***ING KILL YOU!'''
* [[spoiler: Guru]]'s death and how well it fits with [[JerkAss his character]]:
-->'''[[spoiler: Guru]]:''' I feel that they have finally summoned the dragon. Would be a ''reeeal'' dick move to die right now...''Huuurrkk'' ''[dies]''
* When Kami is resurrected.
-->'''Popo:''' -humming and watering plants-\\
'''Kami:''' (poofs) Fan-freaking-tastic, We're back here again.\\
'''Popo:''' Oh, you're back. Hi Kami.\\
'''Kami:''' Mr. Popo, what are you watering?\\
'''Popo:''' Pot.\\
'''Kami:''' Pots of what?\\
'''Popo:''' Pot. (''beat'') I'm not getting rid of it.\\
'''Kami:''' [[DidWeJustHaveTeaWithCthulhu Are you kidding? That sh*t's great for my glaucoma!!]]
** Even better given it's a brick joke to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOVORQzNmrM&feature=related this]].
* Freeza's reaction to learning that the Namekians have hoodwinked him.
-->'''Nail:''' (''Enjoying this moment'') The earthlings have the password.
-->'''Freeza:''' [[FlatWhat ...What?]]
-->'''Nail:''' Remember the little Namekian you passed on the way to Guru's? On his way to the humans with the password. By now he's probably already there and they're about to summon the dragon!
-->'''Freeza:''' (''Barely concealed rage'') Grk...Jch...
-->'''Nail:''' Yeah, if I could guess your biggest mistake, it would be ''not stopping him''. That or the purple lipstick.
-->'''Freeza:''' '''I WILL F***ING MURDER YOU!!'''
-->'''Nail:''' Whatever.
-->'''Freeza:''' (''flies off and turns on scouter'') ''Why aren't the Ginyus showing up!?'' Oh, they're dead. *beat* '''''WHY ARE THEY DEAD?!'''''
* Vegeta's thoughts as he was falling asleep.
-->'''Vegeta:''' ''First immortality. Then the bitches.''
* The reveal that even Krillin thought the name "Team Three Star" was stupid.
** That seemed more like he was trying to save face than anything else, considering how enthusiastic he was about it in the beginning.
* Freeza getting annoyed with Namek. Again.
-->'''Nail:''' (Lands on a random spot) This is my people's sacred battleground.
-->'''Freeza:''' We flew over an hour for ''this?'' It looks exactly the same as everywhere else on this god-forsaken rock!
[[WMG: Episode 25]]
* TheStinger has the [[SuperMarioBros theme song]] with Freeza under a power up box. Out pops the mushroom and Freeza transforms.
* Episode 25 has several including Freeza raising the Owned count so high that he gets [[SuperMarioBros 1Ups]], Nappa in the flashback and [[spoiler: Dodoria shopped onto a [[{{Squick}} fat woman in lingerie]] during a solar flare]].
** Freeza singing a mudded rendition of [[TheSoundOfMusic "My Favorite Things"]] in 25, is both hilarious and chilling.
---> '''Freeza:''' Peaceful young races with fires on their houses, millions of voices all silenced like mouses, watching the cowards bow toward their new king, these are the few of my favorite things!
* When Nail instructs Piccolo on fusing, he tells the latter to put his hand on his chest... lower... lower... lower... little lower...
-->'''Nail:''' Ahh, if we had junk you'd be gay right now!
* Another is the aftermath of Piccolo's fusion with Nail. TeamFourStar handles it EXACTLY like the dub complete with Piccolo psyching himself up...until...
--> '''Nail:''' (inside Piccolo's head) What are you doing?
--> '''Piccolo:''' Errrghummm...Nothing.
--> '''Nail:''' Really? 'Cause it looked like you were chanting to yourself.
--> '''Piccolo:''' Are you in my head?
--> '''Nail:''' Yep. Don't worry, supposedly I should fade into your subconscious...sooner or later.
--> '''Piccolo:''' OK...so what now?
--> '''Nail:''' By my estimate, this fusion should have given you just enough power to wipe out the bastard that killed our people.
--> '''Piccolo:''' And?
--> '''Nail:''' Well, let me put this in terms you can understand...YOU CAN WIN! YOU FEEL GREAT! YOU! CAN! DO! THIS!
--> '''Piccolo:''' Oh HA-HA!
* When Freeza's still in his first form, locked in a power struggle with Vegeta, his scouter displays the message "F**K THIS. I'M OUT." seconds before exploding.
* During the flashback about Bardock's warning:
--> '''Saiyan:''' He's been telling everyone that Freeza plans to destroy Vegeta.
--> '''King Vegeta:''' Wait, my son, the planet, or me?
--> *{{beat}}*
--> '''Butarega:''' [[MathematiciansAnswer ...Yes.]]
--> [King Vegeta blasts Butarega away]
--> '''King Vegeta:''' Friggin' smartass.
* When Dende heals Gohan.
--> '''Gohan:''' I... you... healed me.
--> '''Dende:''' You are the only one I respect.
--> '''Gohan:''' Then why did you heal Krillin?
--> '''Dende:''' The better question is; [[SchmuckBait why did I tell him he was immortal?]]
* When Gohan's RoaringRampageOfRevenge after Freeza (almost) kills Krillin fails.
-->'''Gohan:''' Think, what would dad do?\\
'''Goku:''' (flashback) Bye, son!\\
'''Gohan:''' I'm beginning to think I have issues.
* When Krillin comes back in top form after being impaled:
-->'''Vegeta:''' (inner monologue) I swear if he used that wish for immortality on himself, I am going to murde-\\
[creeping realization]\\
'''Vegeta:''' (out loud) That... ''bastard''.
* '''''[[LargeHam SOCIAL ACTIVITYYYYY!]]'''''
* While Freeza is owning Krillin so much he starts getting [[SuperMarioBros 1Ups...]]
-->'''Gohan:''' Krillin, stop! You're making him stronger!
* Krillin tells the gang how he blinded Freeza with Solar Flare;
-->'''Gohan:''' And then you used your Ki-Enzan to cut him in half?
-->'''Krillin:''' Ummm...
-->'''Freeza:''' I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE!!
-->'''Krillin:''' To answer your question, Gohan, no, I did not do that.
* Krillin learns that he isn't immortal.
-->'''Krillin:''' Wait, you mean I could have actually ''died?''
-->'''Vegeta:''' Yeah, and unlike the runt and I, you don't get a power boost from it.
-->'''Krillin:''' Hax! I call hax!
* Piccolo's BigDamnHeroes moment is accompanied by [[VideoGame/ChronoTrigger Magus']] [[MythologyGag battle]] [[CrowningMusicOfAwesome music.]] [[hottip:*:You know, cause Magus and Piccolo look similar as both were designed by AkiraToriyama. Plus, Magus was the Fiendlord, and Piccolo Senior was the Demon King.]]
* Nail explains his plan to Piccolo.
-->'''Nail:''' There's a special ability our people share. Forbidden, even amongst our most sacred clans.
-->'''Piccolo:''' And we're just gonna abuse it?
-->'''Nail:''' Oh, maliciously!
-->'''Piccolo:''' Bitchin'! How we do?
* Freeza "taunting" Vegeta while he tortures Gohan
-->'''Freeza:''' So Vegeta, does this get you angry?
-->'''Vegeta:''' Not really, kind of a smart ass.
-->'''Freeza:''' Well then, why am I even bothering?!
-->'''Vegeta:''' Because... you get off on it...?
-->'''Freeza:''' Oh, unbelievably!
* Piccolo's first thoughts on Namek;
-->"What was that idiot ''doing'', bringing me here? It's- Wait a minute. I can feel it. This is my home! I can finally see its beauty! The lush blue fields... The crystal clear waters... The wind brushing past my ''GOD'' this is boring! Huh...no wonder I feel right at home."
* How Vegeta knew that Freeza can transform.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Guldo told me\\
''[cutaway]''\\
'''Guldo:''' So... Did you know that Freeza can transform?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Huh. That right?\\
'''Guldo:''' Yeah. And Burter's gay!\\
'''Vegeta:''' (''genuine surprise'') Really!?\\
''[cutaway]''\\
'''Vegeta:''' [[RunningGag And then I threw a dog treat at him]]. True story.\\
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=9ada9xsMnm4#t=573s "Suck my diiiiick!"]]
[[WMG: Episode 26]]
* The miraculous return of the Kanassans:
--> '''Kanassan 1:''' I CAN SEE THE FUTUUUUUURE!
--> '''Kanassan 2:''' BULMA AND VEGETA HAVE A KIIIIIID!
--> '''Kanassan 3:''' THE REAL BUU IS A CHILD!
--> '''Kanassan 4:''' CELL REACHES HIS PERFECT FOOOOORM!
--> '''Kanassan 5:''' GOTEN AND TRUNKS BECOME A GUUUUYYYY!
--> '''Kanassan 6:''' GOHAN IS THE STRONGEST IN THE UNIVERSE BUT STILL DOESN'T DO CRAAAAAAP!
* The Stinger has this exchange:
--> '''Krillin:''' [[MyNameIsNotDurwood Little Green!]] [[BigNo NOOOOOOOO!!!]]
--> '''Gohan:''' Actually Krillin, his name was Dende.
--> '''Krillin:''' Huh, that's funny. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint He never spoke up about it.]]
* A brilliant send up of the series' "weighted clothing" concept:
--> '''Piccolo:''' Don't think you have the upper hand yet. [[IAmNotLeftHanded I'm still wearing weighted armour!]]
--> '''Freeza:''' Weighted armour? How quaint. And how much does it weigh?
--> '''Piccolo:''' Same as it always does: one hundred kilo-
--> ''Freeza grins''
--> '''Piccolo:''' ...Oh.
--> '''Freeza:''' That's just cute!
--> '''Piccolo:''' [[PowerCreepPowerSeep That concept just sort of lost meaning after a while, didn't it?]]
* After Krillin sees Piccolo crack his knuckles and neck in a truly awesome way.
--> '''Krillin:''' Aw man that sounded good, now I have to do ''my'' neck. ''[SNAP]'' OWWW MY NECK! ''[Krillin Owned Count: 26]''
* Piccolo and Nail's conversation during Freeza's 2nd transformation.
--> '''Nail:''' Hey man, can I talk to you about something really quick?
--> '''Piccolo:''' I'm seriously in the middle of something right now!
--> '''Nail:''' Yeah, I know, but I've been looking around and you've got like NO apps in here. I have already played the crap out of Minesweeper.
--> '''Piccolo:''' COULD YOU JUST- wait, I have apps? I have Minesweeper?! I just thought I could connect to the internet with my antennae!
--> '''Nail:''' I didn't know we could do that!
--> '''Piccolo:''' We all learn something new every day. Now could you just let me focus?!
--> '''Nail:''' Hey...you want to play me in Minesweeper?
--> '''Piccolo:''' You CAN'T play someone in Minesweeper! That's a single-player game!
--> '''Nail:''' First I go, then you go and try to beat my time, and...hey, is he transforming?
--> '''Piccolo:''' ''DAMN IT!''
* For some reason, this troper finds the exchange after Freeza transforms into his 3rd form hilarious.
--> '''Freeza:''' So Namekian, what do you think of my 3rd form?
--> '''Piccolo:''' I think RidleyScott's gonna sue somebody.
--> '''Freeza:''' What are you talking about? *Alien tongue bursts out of mouth and makes noises* Let me touch your skin...
--> '''Piccolo:''' *disturbed yell*
* Definitely this exchange:
--> '''Freeza:''' I have a question for you though.
--> '''Piccolo:''' What’s that?
--> '''Freeza:''' DIE.
--> '''Piccolo:''' ...That's... not... a... questio- *gets knocked into plateau*
--> '''Freeza:''' That's because I don't do requests.
* When Vegeta tried fleeing, this happened:
--> '''Freeza:''' *suddenly appears* So, Vegeta, where do you think you're going?
--> '''Vegeta:''' Oh, y'know... *shifts eyes* places...
--> '''Freeza:''' Places, hm? Like that mountain over there?
--> '''Vegeta:''' *looking* Actually, that looks more like a plat- *gets knocked into* -EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUU!!
** Extra funny if you realize [[BrickJoke a similar joke was made 23 episodes earlier.]]
* Freeza's "game"
--> '''Freeza:''' How about this? Let's play a game. Ever hear of paintball?
--> '''Piccolo:''' [[TemptingFate Yeah...]]
--> '''Freeza:''' Just remove the "t".
--> '''Piccolo:''' I don't ge- (Freeza blasts him in the knee) OH HO I GET IT!
** Plus the exchange right afterward that would later be alluded to in episode 29.
--> '''Freeza:''' Now for your ''other'' [[BizarreAlienBiology glubok]]! (He blasts Piccolo again.)
--> '''Piccolo:''' AGH! ...You're not really familiar with our anatomy, are you?
--> '''Freeza:''' It doesn't matter! I'll hit your glubok somewhere! (He starts repeatedly blasting Piccolo)
[[WMG: Episode 27]]
* The opening.
--> '''Goku:''' I'm sure they're doing just fine.
--> '''Vegeta:''' HEALER'S DOWN!
--> '''Krillin:''' NEED A REZ!
--> '''Gohan:''' OUT OF MANA!
--> '''All three:''' AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
** Before that, Goku was singing "Put the Lime in the Coconut".
* Vegeta actually crying in front of Freeza:
--> '''Freeza:''' See, it's like I told you, Vegeta. "Like a bitch."
--> '''Vegeta:''' Shut up!
--> '''Freeza:''' Oh my god, you actually are crying!
--> '''Vegeta:''' (crying) I'M NOT CRYING! NOT!
* Freeza's continued mocking:
--> '''Freeza:''' It's like putting down [[OldYeller Old Space Yeller]].
--> '''Krillin:''' HOW IS THAT A THING?
* The return of "DOOOOOOOOOOODGE!!"
* Goku's attempt at a BadassBoast.
--> '''Goku:''' I'm Goku! I'm insane, from Earth!
--> '''Vegeta:''' He means Saiyan.
** And then Freeza's response:
--->'''Freeza:''' Well between you and the Namekian I think I've lost my touch at genocide.
* A good amount of the dialogue in episode 27, such as the round of "Row row row your boat". Especially once Goku arrives and starts talking to Freeza.
** Note that the singing round includes [[OnlySaneMan King Kai]] and [[StraightMan Tien]], but cuts off before [[ButtMonkey Yamcha]]. Priceless.
** Meta example in that shortly before the episode's release, WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic reviewed ''Film/StarTrekVTheFinalFrontier'', which had an infamous scene of Kirk and [=McCoy=] singing Row Row Row Your Boat. [=KaiserNeko=] noted this coincidence on Twitter.
* Vegeta attempting to [[CallBack rock Freeza like a hurricane]]. [[spoiler: It fails.]]
-->"Huh, I should've known that was only a one-hit wonder."
* After Goku blocks Freeza's BeamSpam attack, Freeza demands to know how it's possible from Vegeta, who's been talking about the Super Saiyan legend the whole episode, and previous ones (having already given an identical speech about it ''twice''). Mostly in relation to himself, but you can tell Freeza sees it coming ''again''. Each word out of Freeza's mouth is angrier than the last in the following exchange.
--> '''Vegeta:''' You see, Freeza? You aren't dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore-
--> '''Freeza:''' ''[[NoJustNoReaction Oh. My! GOD!!!]]''
* EVERYTHING that the extremely short-lived Jamaican crab (that sounds very similar to [[Disney/TheLittleMermaid Sebastian the Crab]]) says before getting eaten by Freeza in Episode 27.
--> [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYpfCrJPry4&feature=context&context=G284f7beFAAAAAAAAJAA#t=5m48s "Baguan, brederin Vegeta. Me be ya spirit animal. And me here to tell ya how to mash up dat bumbaclot Freeza. All you got to do is ..."]] [[KilledMidSentence *crunch*]]
** Then an episode or so later, Freeza tilts his head, and the crab falls [[BizarreAlienBiology out his ear]] going "Eymon!"
* When Goku arrives, he talks to the others. This happens.
-->'''Goku:''' Oh, hey Piccolo! When'd you come back?
-->'''Piccolo:''' Uh... Dragon Balls...
-->'''Goku:''' Cool,
-->'''Krillin:''' GOKU!!
-->'''Goku:''' Hey Krillin! You look funny in that armor!
-->'''Gohan:''' DAD!!!
-->'''Goku:''' [[CrowningMomentofIndifference Hey.]]
** And then he turns to Freeza:
--->'''Goku:''' So, are you that Freezer guy?
--->'''Freeza:''' ''<hesitantly>'' I am ''Lord Freeza,'' yes.
--->'''Goku:''' ''<cheerfully>'' Awesome! Imma deck you in the schnozz!
--->''<Freeza stares blankly for a second, then drops Vegeta>''
--->'''Vegeta:''' Ow.
--->'''Freeza:''' I'm... sorry, that's a new one. Who... are you exactly?
** And note that this is actually a BrickJoke to how Freeza keeps track of every BadassBoast made towards him.
* Freeza explains why Vegeta is injured:
-->'''Freeza:''' Unfortunately, Vegeta and I had a disagreement. He wanted himself to live, and, well, ''I didn't.''
-->'''Goku:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Why do you want to die?]]
-->'''Freeza:''' Wh- no, I meant, I meant I wanted ''him'' to die-
-->'''Goku:''' [[DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu Is it because you look weird?]]
-->'''Freeza:''' ''[[BigWhat What?!]]''
-->'''Goku:''' Ah, you know, you got that big head, those weird lips and that tail-
-->(''Freeza gets angry and tries to blast Goku. [[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass Goku swats the blast away]].'')
-->'''Goku:''' -and you don't have ears...
-->'''Freeza:''' Okay, ''no''.
-->(''Freeza shoots multiple beams that Goku swats away effortlessly.'')
-->'''Goku:''' ...And to top it all off, you're really kind of a jerk.
-->'''Freeza:''' (shocked) And apparently, this is now happening.
* During their, ah, fight, Vegeta and Freeza's thoughts.
-->'''Vegeta:''' (thinking) ''Yes I have him on the ropes! All he can do is dodge me!''
-->'''Freeza:''' (thinking) ''God, Zarbon's dead, Dodoria's dead, the Ginyus are dead...this has been one giant mess. It's just like that jockstrap incident, only now I don't have Ginyu around to dig the holes!''
* Early on when Gohan, Krillin and Piccolo are all certain of their defeat and Vegeta keeps boasting how good he is:
--> '''Krillin:''' I couldn't even follow that attack! It was almost instantaneous!
--> '''Vegeta:''' Yup, just gonna stand here and keep bein' awesome--
--> '''Piccolo:''' There's nothing we can do against that kind of power!
--> '''Vegeta:''' (''Annoyed'') Uh, hello, awesome? Right here.
--> '''Gohan:''' We're all gonna die!
--> '''Vegeta:''' ... You know what? All of you better duck, because I'm about to turn left and I don't want to SMACK YOU WITH MY DICK.
* I know the whole scene with Freeza [[CurbstompBattle curb stomping]] Vegeta is pretty morbid, but I always find it humorous when Krillin asks if they should do something
--> '''Freeza:''' (''Appears'') Oh, go ahead, pool's open; water's fine. (''Everyone just stands there, shaking in their boots'') No? Just going to stand there like a bunch of pissants? Thought so.
* After Freeza tells Vegeta that a Super Saiyan is just a myth...
--> '''Vegeta:''' Bitch, [[YoureJustJealous you just jealous]] of my [[SouljaBoy Super Saiyan swagger]].
* While firing an impressive but ineffective BeamSpam, Vegeta yelling "[[MoreDakka DAKKA DAKKA]] [[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}} DAKKA DAKKA]]!"
[[WMG: Episode 28]]
* The opening, which has Vegeta stating the usual legal stuff, but clearly dying with each breath.
* Vegeta's dying words.
--> '''Vegeta:''' You are our race's last hope. You are the last remaining Saiyan. ...''Oh god, you're the last remaining Saiyan.''
* Freeza's complete stupification as he tries to comprehend how Goku thinks.
-->'''Goku:''' Wow, that was close! I was almost out of the frying pan, and into the... lava.
-->'''Freeza:''' How do you ''function''?
* After kicking Freeza into a mountain, the two exchange banter. Goku gets in a legitimate taunt.
** And actually thanks his brain for coming up with it.
* Goku being totally blind to Freeza's attacks.
-->'''Freeza''': *while lifting a mountain* Filthy Monkey, meet General Mountain!!
-->*beat*
-->'''Goku''' "...[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Hi General Mountain! I'm Go-*SLAM*]]
* All of the ensuing fight between Goku and Freeza... [[VillainousBreakdown as Freeza gradually loses it from exposure to Goku's stupidity.]]
** Half the fun is Goku [[SarcasmBlind taking Freeza's thinly-veiled threats and taunts at face value.]]
* Vegeta tells Goku that your clothes don't come with you when you die. Goku says his stayed with him.
-->'''Vegeta:''' That lying red motherfucker!
-->(Later, at King Yemma’s)
-->'''King Yemma:''' (To all arriving souls) Strip...next. Strip...next. Strip...next. Strip...({{beat}}, leans forward) nice.
-->'''Arriving soul:''' [[spoiler: Recoome thanks you.]]
* The random moment with Bulma shows her drinking the planet's water.
-->'''Bulma:''' Oh God! That was so refreshing... [[LampshadeHanging too bad it was all saltwater though.]] (faints)
* Freeza finds Goku just isn't the same as his now-deceased minions:
-->'''Goku:''' My butt is flaming!
-->'''Freeza:''' ...I miss [[CampStraight Zarbon]].
* Krillin getting hit in the face with Freeza's puke, bringing the [[RunningGag Krillin Owned Counter]] up to 27.
* When Goku says to Freeza that he won the game because he fought without his shirt (long story). He asks what his prize is.
-->'''Goku:''' What do I win?
-->'''Freeza:''' Another bath!
-->*Beat*
-->'''Goku:''' But I'm not dir-
-->[[GilliganCut *Cut to Goku being drowned by Freeza*]]
--> '''Freeza:''' Just tell me when you need to come up for air.
* The following exchange, just after Vegeta's burial. Freeza's expression while saying the last line is ''priceless'':
-->'''Freeza:''' Come now, I'm sure he's in a better place... Oh, who am I kidding? He's probably in Hell!
--> '''Goku:''' I don't know, I went to Hell once. The only real bad part was these two oiled-up German guys trying to wrestle me.
--> '''Freeza:''' ...are you real?
* Goku denounces Freeza as a monster who kills anyone, even children:
-->'''Freeza:''' Oh please, everyone's always on about the children. I already tried leaving them alive, but all they do is grow up under my rule or dedicate their pathetic lives to revenge. Usually both. Really, killing them this a kindness. I can retract that kindness if you wish, but then who's the villain?
-->'''Goku:''' (totally lost) Y... you.
-->'''Freeza:''' N-no, that was a rhetorical question.
-->'''Goku:''' And I gave you a rhetorical answer!
-->'''Freeza:''' ...Good lord, I traded Vegeta for this.
* Goku's brain appearing to be voiced by OrsonWelles, at least if its garbled comments about "frozen peas" while Goku is drowning were any indication.
* Vegeta's spirit animal falling out of Freeza's ear.
* The beginning;
-->'''Goku:''' Vegeta, no!
-->'''Gohan:''' Vegeta, no!
-->'''Krillin:''' Don't worry, Gohan. Little Green'll- (''Shot of Dende's corpse'') ...oh. Vegeta, no!
-->'''Piccolo:''' ...Meh.
* Goku bites Freeza's tail. 'Nuff said.
* Goku continuing to be a terrible father.
-->'''Goku:''' Piccolo, you take care of Gohan.
-->'''Piccolo:''' So... keep doing what I've been doing, then?
-->'''Goku:''' Yah-huh.
-->'''Piccolo:''' Yeah, I figured. Let's go!
-->'''Krillin:''' Oh thank god!
-->''Piccolo and Krillin fly away.''
-->'''Gohan:''' (whispering) Dad... beat him within an inch of his life... AND HANG HIM UP BY HIS ENTRAILS!
-->'''Goku:''' (To himself) Wow, he sounds like he's had a hard time. Piccolo should really have a talk with him.
* Freeza asking if Goku wants to play a "game".
-->'''Freeza:''' (threateningly) Want to play a game?
-->{{Beat}}
-->'''Goku:''' [[TooDumbToLive Yes...]]
* After the "pinball" game:
-->'''Freeza:''' So how did you like that game, monkey?
-->'''Goku:''' Eh, it was okay.
-->'''Freeza:''' Wha...''How did you-''
-->'''Goku:''' It's no VideoGame/DonkeyKong though. That has a pie level!
-->'''Freeza:''' (Wide eyed, says nothing. Leans forward making a creaking sound)
** Said Pinball game is followed by a high score board (With the new top scorer being ASS). It costs 1/2 [[ButtMonkey Raditz]] for a new game.
* Why Vegeta got shot:
-->'''Goku:''' Vegeta, are you all right?
-->'''Vegeta:''' I have...a f**king hole in my chest... why didn't you block that one!?
-->'''Goku:''' I thought you had it!
-->'''Vegeta:''' (Passionately exasperated) ''No!''
-->'''Freeza:''' It's funny how he's still talking, I could have sworn I hit a lung- (''Vegeta coughs blood'') Oh there it is!
* Freeza loses his patience with Goku.
-->'''Freeza:''' How do you ''function?''
-->'''Goku:''' Hey, I'm just like any other guy. I pay my taxes one leg at a time!
-->'''Freeza:''' ...I'm going to drown you. I'm going to drown you like a sack of dumb puppies.
-->'''Goku:''' What? Why would you drown puppies!?
-->'''Freeza:''' (''Snidely'') Because they're cute and cuddly.
-->'''Goku:''' Are...you coming on to me?
-->'''Freeza:''' Arrr...!
* The end of the episode:
-->'''Freeza:''' (still holding Goku under the water) Any last words, monkey? Besides "gurgle gurgle?"
-->'''Goku:''' (Goku breaks out from under the water) Yeah! Kaio-ken!
-->'''Freeza:''' [[RunningGag Kaio-what?]]
-->'''Goku:''' KA! ME! HA! ME! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (He apparently obliterates Freeza)
-->'''Freeza:''' (Emerges from the blast relatively unscathed) No, seriously. Kaio-what?
-->'''Goku:''' [[OhCrap Kaio-crap!]]
-->'''Freeza:''' I thought so. (He attacks Goku)
[[WMG: Episode 29]]
* The disclaimer is read by Krillin, followed by this gem of an exchange.
-->'''Lanipator:''' That was perfect, Krillin. Don't worry about your check, we'll send it to your next of kin.
-->'''Krillin:''' ...What?
* Freeza after pulling Goku out of the water
-->'''Freeza:''' Now what do you have to say for yourself, monkey?
-->'''Goku:''' (Spits up onto Freeza's face)
-->{{Beat}}
-->'''Freeza:''' (Starts kicking Goku repeatedly)
-->'''Goku:''' AH! OH! Son of a-!
* The entire bit with the Ginyu Force on King Kai's planet. Including lines from Yamcha.
-->'''Yamcha:''' [King Kai's training] is bogus!
-->'''Tien:''' I'm going to do my best to overlook the fact that you just used the word "bogus".
** King Kai's casual reaction to the tree Guldo threw at his house.
--->'''King Kai:''' Hey, I was just inside, taking a crap, I'm old, takes a while, come out, there's a tree in my living room... What's up?
** And when the Ginyus get kicked down to hell [[spoiler: by King Kai]]:
--->'''Goz:''' Meeeeez! We havez visitaaaaars! ''Prepare ze campz.''
* This exchange:
-->'''Goku:''' No, I can't lose. I have to beat you. You're evil, and you have to be stopped!
-->'''Freeza:''' Oh, come now. If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then let God strike me down where I stand. (''lightning strikes Freeza, to no effect'') HA! Nice try, jackass! Next time, give it your A-game!
* Freeza's frustration at not understanding what Goku's up to with the Spirit Bomb.
-->'''Freeza:''' There you go again, throwing your hands up in the air like you just don't care. '''CARE, DAMN IT'''!
* Freeza gets hit by the Spirit Bomb:
-->'''Freeza:''' (in a calm tone despite the look of horror on his face) ...Oh. Somehow I ''completely'' forgot about that.
--> [The Spirit Bomb absorbs his attack with an "om nom nom" sound]
--> '''Freeza:''' (still calm) Oh my god.
--> '''Freeza:''' (thinking) If I had any single regret for the countless horrific events that have transpired in my wake, it's that I'm dying.
* The CallBack to Piccolo having Goku distract Raditz while Goku is charging the spirit bomb. This time, the positions are reversed.
-->'''Piccolo:''' Did you just hold a grudge?
** And just like Piccolo, Goku sang a song while [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Piccolo was getting a beatdown]]. The song was, [[CallBack again]], [[TheMuppetShow Mahna Mahna]].
*** I'ma charging my attack.
*** If you listen carefully the beatdown, Piccolo says [[CallBack "Ow, my glubok!"]]
* Freeza's reappearance: "By the way, not dead. Kthanx '''DIE'''."
* When Freeza [[spoiler:kills Krillin]] after taking out Piccolo:
--> '''[[spoiler: Krillin]]:''' (After seeing Piccolo taken out) Oh, for a moment I thought that was going to be me.
--> '''Freeza:''' Ohoho, you're next.
--> '''[[spoiler: Krillin]]:''' Wait, what'd I ever do to you?
--> '''Freeza:''' Remember [[spoiler: my tail]]?
--> '''[[spoiler: Krillin]]:''' Can't you take a joke?
--> *Freeza gives an ugly stare at [[spoiler: Krillin]], while [[spoiler: Krillin]] gives a smile*
--> '''[[spoiler: Krillin]]:''' [[spoiler: [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH!]] *explodes*]]
--> *Beat*
-->[[spoiler: *Krillin's Owned Count goes to 28*]]
* The stinger, after [[spoiler: Freeza kills Krillin]]:
-->'''Mr. Popo:''' (''dramatic close-up'') '''''[[BrickJoke CALLED IT.]]'''''
* Freeza finally loses his cool.
-->'''Freeza:''' That's stupid! ''You're'' stupid! ''Stop being stupid!''
-->'''Goku:''' Or...maybe I'm being rhetorical.
-->'''Freeza:''' ''NO! NO YOU'RE NOT!'' God, it's like you just use words you hear randomly to try and sound smarter!
-->'''Goku:''' Huh. Well, now you're just acting transcendent.
-->'''Freeza:''' RR! (''Kicks Goku'')
* "RECOOOOOOOOOOOMEEE! DIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEE!
** "Hello" "Yaarr"
* After Guldo throws the tree at King Kai's house:
-->'''Burter:''' Whoa, little quick to the trigger there, Ace!
-->'''Guldo:''' Sorry, I kinda lost my head there after I... [[LosingYourHead lost my head]].
* Freeza spotting the huge Spirit Bomb above him.
-->'''Freeza:''' What is that glare? That's not a sun, it's not a moon and [[StarWars it's certainly not a space station]] - what is that? (''looks up'') What... is... that - [[RuleOfThree What is that!?]]
-->'''Goku:''' Are we still playing twenty questions?
-->'''Freeza:''' You were planning to use this on me, weren't you!?
-->'''Goku:''' ...Yeah...
* Also, Krillin keeps blurting out what Goku's doing, and how strong the Spirit Bomb is.
-->'''Piccolo:''' Shut ''up!''
-->'''Krillin:''' Too scared!
-->'''Piccolo:''' Damn it!
-->'''Freeza:''' What is that fool yammering on about?
-->'''Goku:''' He's talking about...ghosts.
-->'''Freeza:''' ...Ghosts.
-->'''Goku:''' (''Eyes shifting'') Yeah, you know... Spirits? ...Ghosts?
[[WMG: Episode 30 ]]
[[AC:Part 1 of 3]]
* A '''very''' pissed off Goku still brings the funny:
-->'''Goku:''' [[BadassBoast I'm going to break you.]]
-->'''Freeza:''' What?
-->'''Goku:''' (very angrily) [[BadassBoast Like a Kit-Kat bar.]]
-->'''Freeza:''' ...what?! *Goku sends him flying* '''''WHAT?!'''''
* Goku's BadassBoast.
--> '''Goku:''' I am the hope of the omniverse! I am the light bulb in the darkness! I am the bacon in the fridge for all living things to cry out in hunger! I am the alpha and the Amiga! [[WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck I am the terror that flaps in the night!]] I am Son Goku, and I am a Super-
--> ''Freeza laser blasts his face''
--> '''Goku:''' (''[[NoSell leans forward unharmed]]'') Saiyan.
** The exchange just before is also hilarious:
--->'''Freeza:''' You... You're different. What happened? WhatTheHellAreYou
--->'''Goku:''' Can't you tell Freezer? It's [[CallBack just like Vegeta said.]]
--->'''Freeza:''' NO YOU F[[SoundEffectBleep **]]KING DON'T!
* Freeza not knowing how long the planet is going to take to blow up and just guesses 5 minutes... Not even close.
* Freeza tries to barter with Goku:
--> '''Freeza:''' If you let me power up... I'll give you a pizza!
--> '''Goku:''' ...You killed my best friend, Freezer. That's '''not going to work anymore.'''
--> '''Freeza:''' TWO PIZZAS!
--> '''Goku:''' '''''I SAID I'M DONE!''''' [Goku charges at him.]
--> '''Freeza:''' ''With'' stuffed crust.
--> [Goku immediately stops on a dime.]
-->''{{Beat}}''
-->'''King Kai:''' ''Goku...''
-->'''Goku:''' Now hear me out, King Kai... If I let him power up to 100% and beat him then, it will demoramalize him and he'll never threaten anyone again.
-->'''King Kai:''' Goku that is retarded.
-->'''Goku:''' STUFFED CRUST, KING KAI! YOU CAN EAT IT IN REVERSE. (Inside Goku's eye is an actual stuffed crust pizza being ripped apart.)
* Mr. Popo gets the best line of the episode just before he summons Shenron:
-->"I'm so f**king high right now!"
* Shenron acknowledges Mr. Popo as his master and asks him if it's finally time to lay waste to the Earth. Popo tells him, "Eh...not yet. Give 'em a couple hundred years. See if they can clean this up."
** Then this exchange happens:
---> '''Shenron:''' Then how might I be of service, Lord Popo?
---> '''Popo:''' Good question. Kami, the f**k am I doing?
---> '''Kami:''' Good question. King Kai, the f**k is he doing?
---> '''King Kai:''' Aw, my head!
* King Kai's attempt to talk to [[HumanoidAbomination Mr. Popo]] telepathically. [[spoiler: His antennae explode.]]
--> '''King Kai:''' How the hell do you work with this guy?
--> '''Kami:''' It's easier than you think.
* Freeza becomes upset when Goku stops speaking and, after going into a rant about how superior he is to the now-Super Saiyan, decides to blow up Namek. Goku's response to this?
--> '''Goku:''' Wait, I zoned out there for a second. Wha?
--> (''explosion'')
--> '''King Kai:''' ...No...! NO NO SONUVABITCH! GAAAH!!
* This exchange:
--> '''King Kai:''' Are you questioning GOD?
--> '''Kami:''' Are ''you''?
* When Freeza fails to blow up Namek
--> '''Goku:''' D-Did you miss?
--> '''Freeza:''' How could I ''miss''?!
--> '''Goku:''' I dunno, how ''did'' ya?
-->'''Freeza:''' I know I hit the core... God, this ''always'' happens when I try and perform under stress.
[[AC:Part 2 of 3]]
* Guru upon resurrection:
-->'''Guru:''' Ahh! Oh. Right, I stopped my heart for a couple minutes there. (Notices destruction of Namek) Oh god, global warming!? '''NAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIII'''-
* Vegeta coming back:
--> '''Vegeta:''' [[Film/DawnOfTheDead When there's no more room in Hell, Vegeta shall walk the]]-
--> (Vegeta notices the world blowing up around him)
--> '''Vegeta:''' (deadpan) Other Hell, what the hell.
** Also, Vegeta checking to see if he was still alive.
--->'''Vegeta:''' (thinking) Well, at least my clothes are back, that's a start. Am I alive? (''Punches himself and goes down'') Ugh! Yay! I'm alive! (''Coughs blood'')
* Guru confessing to the Namekians that he's the one who drank all their planet's water, not the Albino Namekians, before dying of old age (a second time). [[spoiler: Except he wasn't dying. The mob of angry Namekians fixes this, though.]]
-->'''Guru:''' Remember when I said that [the albino Namekians] were responsible for the disappearance of our precious water?
-->'''Namekian 1:''' We slaughtered ''thousands''...
-->'''Guru:''' It was me.
-->'''Namekian 2:''' How!?
-->'''Guru:''' I drank it.
-->'''Namekian 3:''' Wha-!?
-->'''Guru:''' How do you think I got so FAT?
-->'''Namekians:''' *Stunned Silence*
-->'''Guru:''' And now I can die with a clear conscience. Hurk! Err! [[spoiler:*still alive* Uh... UGH! *still alive* Uh oh.]]
-->'''Namekian 4:''' [[spoiler:KILL HIM!]]
-->'''Guru:''' [[spoiler:NO! NAAAAAAAAAAAIL! *carnage* Choke on them! Oh god why?!]]
** Plus there's Gohan, Bulma, Piccolo and ''[[EvenEvilHasStandards Vegeta's]]'' shocked expressions while this goes on.
* Freeza and the revived Dende's brief conversation after the latter makes the final wish before Freeza does.
--> [Everyone on the planet except Goku and Freeza vanishes sent away] '''Freeza:''' What? No! This isn't what I wished for? ''What's going on?!''
--> '''Dende:''' Down here!
--> '''Freeza:''' ''YOU!'' No... ''No you didn't!''
--> '''Dende:''' So what if I did? What are you going to do about it, huh? ''Come at me bro!'' [Freeza fires at him, then Dende poofs away before it hits]
** Dende wishing everyone except Goku and Freeza to Earth with Porunga. When King Kai asks how he knew that part of the plan, Dende simply says that he just wanted to screw over Freeza. The music helps.
* During Goku and Freeza's fight...
--> '''Freeza:''' Dirty monkey... Huh? Where-- [Goku appears in front of him, two heads higher and with his abs in front of Freeza's face] [[HoYay Oh my]] ''[[HoYay god]]'', [[DistractedByTheSexy you could grind meat on th]]--[stumbles back] AH!
* Then immediately after...
--> '''Goku:''' I'm done.
--> '''Freeza:''' What?
--> '''Goku:''' I'm done fighting you. I'm bored. ''You're boring me.''
--> '''Freeza:''' Wha-- Oh, I get it. You're ''scared'', aren't you? Afraid knowing this planet has ''one minute left'' before it explodes!
--> '''Goku:''' Question.
--> '''Freeza:''' Huh?
--> '''Goku:''' [[LampshadeHanging Do you have a watch?]]
--> '''Freeza:''' No, why?
--> '''Goku:''' [[YouKeepUsingThatWord Do you know what a minute is?]]
--> '''Freeza:''' What? Of course I do!
--> '''Goku:''' I don't think you do...
--> '''Freeza:''' Bu--I--uh--
* Goku, deciding that Freezer's tougher at 100%, decides to 'Stratergize';
-->'''Goku:''' (thinking) ''I know! A distraction!'' Hey, look, Freezer! A giant dragon!
-->'''Freeza:''' What? (Sees Porunga) Well I'll be damned. Immortalityismine! (Flies off)
-->'''Goku:''' (thinking) ''Ohhh, I am become error.''
* Freeza's NonSequiturThud after being bisected:
-->'''Freeza:''' Daddy, I don't want to be on Namek anymore...
* Guru calling for Nail:
-->'''Guru:''' Nail! NAIL! NAAAAAAAAIL!
-->'''Piccolo:''' (thinking) I think he's looking for you.
-->'''Nail:''' Do ''not'' tell him I'm here.
-->'''Guru:''' Nail! I can sense you.
-->'''Nail:''' Donotmakeeyecontact!
* Freeza tries to finish Goku off with a Ki-enzan... only to have trouble controlling it.
-->'''Freeza:''' What are these, inverted controls?!
* Vegeta's flying towards one of the Ginyu squad's ships, and notices Goku and Freeza fighting. He notes that he will stay away from that.
-->'''Vegeta:''' (Sees Porunga) ''That'', however... Minemineminemineminemine-
* Goku [[CallBack kidney punching]] Freeza:
-->'''Goku:''' Bad touch! Kidney shot! Kidney shot, kidney shot, kidney shot, and pause... STOMACH PUNCH!
-->'''Freeza:''' Gonna whiz red.
** A blink and you miss it moment; when Freeza bear hugs Goku from behind and forces him to make kidney shots, [[CallBack he squeaks]].
* Vegeta saying "Lord Freeza!", which is what Cui did to distract Vegeta.
* Dende heals Piccolo:
-->'''Dende:''' May I hug you?
-->'''Piccolo:''' ''No!''
-->'''Dende:''' Oh...
-->'''Freeza:''' Now you're Super Saiyan soup! High in vitamin dumbass! Haha- huh? Oh god, what's up with the sky? This planet really ''is'' about to blow! I give it, like, two minutes tops! I better get to my ship- (''Gets hit by Goku'') Ahh! Stop that! Stop... not-dying!
-->'''Vegeta:''' HOPE YOU'RE READY TO PARTY, BECAUSE IT'S VEGETA C-(poof)
* Vegeta admits he killed a Namekian village, so they weren't brought back to live along with the other Nameks. Guru ''praises'' him for doing that, and admits he hates all the other Namekians... except one child. Cue dragon balls falling back down to earth and one crushing said child. Guru laughs.
* Goku slaps Freeza silly.
-->'''Goku:''' SAY YOU'RE SORRY! (repeatedly slaps Freeza's face, with particular slow motion focus to how his face looks each hit) ARE YOU SORRY YET?!
-->'''Freeza:''' I think I peed a little.
* Goku's and Freeza's VolleyingInsults:
-->'''Freeza:''' You're nothing but an overgrown monkey!
-->'''Goku:''' And you're nothing but an overgrown that thing Chi-Chi keeps in her drawer!
-->'''Freeza:''' Will you just piss off?
-->'''Goku:''' I don't have to use the bathroom!
[[AC:Part 3 of 3]]
* Goku's ''endless'' puns.
-->'''Freeza:''' AGH! My organs! Stay in there, stay in your home, daddy needs you!
-->'''Goku:''' Wow, Freezer, you really were a ''cut above the rest''. (Freeza groans) But too bad you ''didn't make the cut''. (Freeza groans harder) I guess you could call this a ''slice of life''.
-->'''Freeza:''' Please stop!
-->'''Goku:''' Alright, I'll ''cut you a break''. I gotta ''split''.
* Goku [[spoiler: finds [[CallBack the muffin button]]!]]
-->'''Goku:''' The controls! Where is it, where is it?
-->'''King Kai:''' It's about to blow!
-->'''Goku:''' Come on, come on! (finds the button) There! (presses it) [[spoiler: (Out comes... [[BrickJoke a muffin]].)]] Yes!!! [[spoiler:(keeps pressing button and more muffins pop up)]]
-->'''King Kai:''' ...''oh my god...''
-->'''Goku:''' ([[spoiler:muffins keep popping up]]) YAAAAAAAAYYYYY-- (Namek explodes)
* Tien [[LampshadeHanging lampshading]] how [[DeathIsCheap death is inconsequential]] in the Anime/DragonBallZ universe.
-->'''Tien:''' We're literally waiting to go back. Hell, this is Chiaotzu's second time.
-->'''Chiaotzu:''' Next time I get a free sundae!
** And later, when the two of them get wished back, [[BrickJoke he still wants that sundae.]] But he'll wait.
* Bulma relaying King Kai's message that Goku is dead and that Namek is gone.
-->'''Bulma:''' Well, uh... Gohan, Goku's dead...
-->'''Gohan:''' Dammit!
-->'''Bulma:''' Namekians, your planet blew up...
-->'''Namekians:''' (in unison) Dammit!
* When Dr. Briefs' ship arrives, Gohan senses a dark presence coming from it. Cue Chi-Chi dashing out of it.
-->'''Chi-Chi:''' (''with VoiceOfTheLegion'') WHERE'S MY BABY?!
* TheStinger, involving [[spoiler: Nappa returning to life, since everyone who was killed by Freeza and his men were wished back and Vegeta was working for Freeza when he killed Nappa. Also, Nappa becomes a Hollywood producer and is currently making an autobiographical film called [[Film/CitizenKane Citizen Nappa]]. With Mark Satan.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Nappa:''' Need to work on the first name, thinking Hercule...]]
** Also, the subversion to season 1's ending.
--->[[spoiler: '''Vegeta:''' GOD... damn it... Nappa.]]
** Close listeners will note the ringtone of [[spoiler: Nappa calling Vegeta]] is that of [[spoiler: [[CallBack Ghostbusters.]]]]
* Krillin's revival, still screaming in terror.
** And how Dende kept trying to get out of wishing him back.
* Dende declaring his love for [[spoiler: Gohan]] and when [[spoiler: Gohan]] is understandably stunned by this he freaks out and immediately has Porunga teleport all the Namekians from old Namek to the new Namek.
--> '''DrBriefs''': What a fa[[CurseCutShort **Cut to the ending music**]]
* The second stinger, available only at teamfourstar.com:
--> '''Mecha Freeza:''' [[RevengeOfTheSith What happened to Namek? What happened to the Dragon Balls]]?
--> '''King Cold:''' [[RevengeOfTheSith It seems]], [[CallBack my little princess]], [[RevengeOfTheSith in your anger, you destroyed them both]].
--> '''Mecha Freeza:''' [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]]
** Made better by King Cold's ultra-campy effeminate voice.
* Bulma asking Vegeta if he wants to stay at her place.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Only if it's got a pool!
* Bulma and Yamcha's telepathic spat, which ends by ''Tien breaking Yamcha's (good) leg.''
** And when Yamcha's wished back, [[ButtMonkey he falls into a pond.]]
--->'''Yamcha:''' Water in my cast! I'm gonna get gangrene!
* Bulma pointing out that perhaps summoning [[{{Kaiju}} Porunga]] in the middle of a major city is a bad idea. Cue
-->'''Random Citizens:''' (Screaming in terror) [[Franchise/{{Godzilla}} GOJIRA!!!!]]
** Which then turns into [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight the citizens just casually walking by while saying "Gojira" in mild interest.]]
* Dende asking if Porunga can grant them six wishes to save time.
--> '''Dende:''' Cause, we're just gonna bring you back in four months and do this crap again, plus we're just bringing some schmucks back to life.
--> '''Porunga:''' Well, it is unconventional, but considering the ease of these wishes, I will accommodate.
--> '''Dende:''' And a new planet.
--> '''Porunga:''' Now that is just a dick move!
--> '''Dende:''' Well, let's get the hard one out of the way. Build the Namekians a new Namek!
--> '''Porunga:''' ''({{beat}})'' Donezo!
--> '''Dende:''' Sweet!
* Also, Vegeta leaving [=CapsuleCorp=] in a spaceship, which the narrator describes as "doing what he does best."
-->'''Vegeta:''' Sayonara, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitches!]]
-->'''Dr. Briefs:''' Sonuvabitch took my scotch!
-->'''Bulma:''' Call me!
* The BrickJoke about how every place Namek looks exactly the same comes back in all its glory when Goku is trying to escape the explosion:
--> '''Goku:''' (thinking) Where am I? Where's my ship? Everything looked the same before, and now it’s all the same, but on ''fire''!
* Freeza asking Goku for help.
-->'''Freeza:''' As one neighbor to another, can you spare a cup of energy?
-->'''Goku:''' (''contemplating'') Well...
-->'''King Kai:''' (''telepathically'') NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
-->'''Tien:''' (''referring to King Kai not telling them about what's happening'') I'm not even asking anymore.
** And then Goku doing it anyway.
* Tien forcing King Kai to just narrate instead of doing dramatic gasps so someone else will ask a question. King Kai eventually just blurts it out when he can't get them to respond.
-->'''Tien:''' Was that so hard?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Episodes 31-]]
[[WMG:Episode 31]]
* Bulma cockblocking Yamcha by saying "No one screws Yamcha but [[ButtMonkey life]]!"
** Plus she points out Marron's similarity to her. "Blue hair? Real original."
* Krillin saying that Gohan is [[InnocentInnuendo pounding]] [[IncestIsRelative his mom's tuna]]. And Roshi cracking up each time.
** Double this when Chi-Chi comes to ask who started the rumor in the first place.
-->'''Chi-Chi''': Alright! I demand to know who has been spreading rumors that I have been forcing Gohan to, and I quote, '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis POUND. MY. TUNA!]]'''
-->'''Krillin''': Look Chi-Chi, if it really upsets you, [[InnocentInnuendo we'll all take turns pounding your tuna]], ok? But, [[UpToEleven only if we get to eat it together.]]
-->'''Roshi (Off-Screen)''': ...Heh heh heh HEH HEH! AAAAAAHAA! AAAA-
* When Krillin introduces his new persona to Gohan, the slightly deadpan reaction from Gohan is just hilarious:
-->'''Krillin (Off-Screen):''' Hey Gohan! Goin' fishin'?
-->'''Gohan (after catching four rare Paozu Tuna):''' Yup! With Dad gone, I'm the bread-winner now. ''(Seeing Krillin's new get-up)'' What's with the weird clothes, Krillin?
-->'''Krillin:''' Ah, ah, ah! My name is no longer "Krillin." My new name is ''"Juan Sanchez."''
-->'''Gohan (slightly deadpan):''' ...I'm compelled to ask ''"Why"''.
** Also, when Krillin explains why, Gohan's reaction:
-->'''Gohan:''' Wait, your last name's ''"Sanchez"''?
* "Goodbye Gonad, see you at Master Hoe-shi's!"
* ''TFS's [[TheWalkingDead The Walking Zed]]''
* Mr. Popo resolving the entire Garlic Jr. Saga in a few seconds by [[spoiler:assimilating Garlic Jr. and his henchmen like he did Blue Popo]].
** Popo's booty-call from earlier in the episode.
---> "[[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Jynx, Jynx, Jynx!]]"\\
'''Popo:''' "Shut up bitch, you love it!"
** And Kami's reaction:
--->"The last time he did that I found five corpses. He laughed when I said five."
*** There is also something oddly hilarious about Kami saying the phrase "booty-call".
*** I think it's just inherently funny for a ''god'' to use the phrase 'booty-call'. We'd laugh just as hard if it was one of the Kais, or Zeus even.
** Popo's explanation for why the lookout is a mess. He had Italian for dinner.
--> '''Kami''': What does that have to do with-
--> '''Popo''': 'CAUSE IT WAS NOTHIN' BUT GARLIC!
* KanyeWest's Gold Digger playing as Krillin and Maron drive away from Gohan's house
** Then The Guess Who's American Woman playing at Kame House.
* Piccolo and Kami's interactions. Nail gets into this.
--> Kami: You do know that [fusing] technique is forbidden, Piccolo.
--> Piccolo: Your face is forbidden!
--> Nail: That actually was the best one up here.
--> Piccolo: SHUT IT NAIL!
* The scene after the opening credits, where a narrator calmly tells the audience of a type of tuna that was nearly fished to extinction by the inhabitants in the area surrounding Lake Paozu, but is now slowly working its way to a sustainable population [[spoiler:, around that time, Gohan kills 4 of the fish by punching them out of the water]]
--> '''Narrator''': (Still speaking smoothly and calmly) "Oh sweet salty Christ no."
* Krillin learning that his girlfriend is actually [[spoiler: an undercover government agent investigating suspicions of him being guilty of insurance fraud]] His JawDrop will have you in stitches.
* Hearing the line "Bitch is a gold digger" in Turtle's voice.
* Oolong complaining about everyone celebrating Turtle's birthday when they never celebrated his. Everybody ignores him.
* Roshi warning everyone that the huge amount of candles on Turtle's birthday cake is a fire hazard. And then they light his beard on fire.
-->'''Roshi:''' MY BEARD! MY GLORIOUS BEARD! NO!
* Maron questioning whether if Yajirobe and Korin would have either little fat men or kitties for children.
-->'''Korin:''' [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs Probably fat kitties.]]
* Turtle wondering why Krillin's outside Roshi's house
-->'''Turtle:''' Why aren't you upstairs sleeping with your girlfriend like everyone else?
[[WMG: Episode 32]]
* Bulma TemptingFate:
-->'''Bulma''': He's probably running out of fuel soon, so ''(Vegeta's ship dropping into frame in the background and crashing)'' god knows if he'll ever make it back here.
-->'''Vegeta''': [[IncomingHam I'M BACK]], [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch BITCHES!!]]
* The exchange between Bulma and Yamcha at the beginning.
--> '''Yamcha:''' So, where did you bury me anyway?
--> '''Bulma:''' Bury? (cut to Yamcha's body still decaying in the pit he died in)
* Yamcha lampshading that he seems to be the ''only one'' bothered that the man directly/indirectly responsible for most of their deaths at some point, is currently showering in the other room and talking about living there.
* Bulma's parents continue to be a comedic duo of ditzy (Mrs. Briefs) and terribly racist (Dr. Briefs):
-->'''Mrs. Briefs:''' Sweetie! Roll out the cot, I think we have a visitor!
-->'''Dr. Briefs:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice Is he colored?]]
-->'''[[EyesAlwaysShut Mrs. Briefs:]]''' I'm not sure, [[LampshadeHanging I never open my eyes!]]
* Vegeta's encounter with Yamcha. He initially confuses him with a valet. After Yamcha reminds them that they previously fought, Vegeta reasserts that he only fought Goku, Nappa fought all the rest... [[NeverLiveItDown except the one scrub who lost to a Saibaman]]. Then Vegeta breaks out into laughter when he finds out he is the said scrub.
* Bulma demanding Vegeta takes a shower, because she can smell him from East City. Vegeta responds by saying [[NoYou he can smell her from East City.]]
* Vegeta's [[TheScream reaction]] upon discovering a [[RealMenWearPink certain item of clothing...]]
-->'''Vegeta:''' I swear, the only thing I hate more than weaklings [[TemptingFate is the color pink!]] ''{{beat}} {{beat}} {{beat}}'' '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!'''''
** Vegeta has a thing for TemptingFate in this episode.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Why don't all you idiots just start showing up?!
-->'''Krillin:''' Hey, Vegeta!
-->'''Vegeta:''' I WAS F**KING KIDDING!!
* The various fighters sensing Freeza approaching Earth.
-->'''Vegeta''': ''(slams a fist down on the table)'' Son of a bitch!
-->'''Yamcha''': What, are you still ticked off about the shirt?
-->'''Vegeta''': No, I'm - well yes actually, I'm absolutely livid - but that's not the point! That idiot Kakarot failed! FREEZA'S STILL ALIVE!
-->'''Tien''': Chiatzou, do you feel that? There are two enormous power levels approaching the planet.
-->'''Chiatzou''': Yeah, see, last time this happened...I blew myself up.
-->'''Tien''': Yeah. I was gonna ask you to hold off on that this time.
* Bulma's interactions with Vegeta are hilarious.
** For example, her forcing Vegeta to take a shower.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Earth woman! Where's the cleansing powder?
-->'''Bulma:''' We don't have that here. We have soap.
-->'''Vegeta:''' The hell is "soap"?
-->'''Bulma:''' It's that yellow block there made of animal fat.
-->'''Vegeta:''' That sounds awesome! *Chomp* Blagh! This tastes nothing like you just said!
** Immediately following that, the moment Yamcha reneges on his comment and admits Vegeta living there is "pretty neat":
-->'''Vegeta:''' Is that the ''beta-male''?
-->'''Bulma:''' No, [[ButtMonkey Krillin]] just got here.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Oh, God! They're breeding!
** And before those moments, after having put Vegeta's Saiyan Armor in the wash, Bulma sneaks a peek at his ass while he's in the shower (particularly noticing the spot where his tail used to be):
-->'''Bulma:''' ''(Walks out onto the deck where Yamcha and Krillin are)'' Ok, so I just got a look at Vegeta's ass, and besides being surprisingly nice, he's got this weird hole.
-->'''Yamcha:''' Uh, yeah, even boys have those, Bulma
-->'''Bulma:''' No, you idiot! I mean a hole above that one.
-->'''Yamcha:''' [{{Beat}}] You mean he's a chick?
* [[CallBack Nail having plans for building a house after Piccolo clears a glacier.]]
* Malfunctioning Freeza.
--> My God this is droll, we're so far out in the space-sti-sti-di-dicks that there's not even a Space Radio Shack. Much less a Space Best Buy-Buy-Buy-Buy-Circuit City.
* Krillin continues with the double entendres.
-->'''Gohan''': Now, are you sure it's him?
-->'''Krillin''': Gohan, once you've had a man inside of you, you know when he's coming.
* [[WesternAnimation/TheIncredibles Woman, where is my Saiyan Suit?]]
* Vegeta's infamous pink shirt having "Juicy" on the back of it.
* Yamcha losing it when Freeza and King Cold arrived. Follow by Krillin saying that if Yamcha wasn't doing that Krillin would.
** Also the Stinger.
* King Cold in general. He's calm, yet still a LargeHam at the same time. Also, he refers to Freeza of all people as a "darling, little angel".
* Freeza's GoldenSnitch.
--> '''Speaking of which... Soldiers, the scavenger hunt will proceed as such. Normal human heads are worth one point. Namekian heads are worth twenty. Filthy half-Saiyan brats: Fifty. And if you find any miserable, odious, insubordinate full-blooded monkey garbage... You win.
* Freeza sending all of his best men on a hunt to kill Goku's friends, giving point values to all of the different characters... and then his men promptly fall to the ground in pieces in Trunk's wake.
--> '''Trunks''': [[PreAssKickingOneLiner "So... how many points are those?"]]
* Vegeta saying "Y'all are [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitches]]."
[[WMG: Episode 33]]
* Trunks explaining that he's been ''practicing'' the DiagonalCut technique for some time.
** Freeza going into a full VillainousBreakdown at the sight of Trunks going Super Saiyan, with a brief flashback to Goku on Planet Namek (''[[BrickJoke "Pizza"]]'').
-->'''Freeza:''' No. No! NO! ''NO!!'' '''NO!!!''' '''KILL!!! MURDER!!! DESTROY!!!''' '''''[[Series/DoctorWho EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!!]]'''''
** Bonus points because the {{Leitmotif}} of the Daleks [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDaEQYEV-TA was playing.]]
** And after that, when it looks like the Death Ball Freeza launched at Trunks killed him... [[Disney/TheLionKing NAAAAAAAAAANTS INGONYAMAAAAAAA]]!
-->'''Trunks:''' Well, Freeza! Looks like you ''[[IncrediblyLamePun dropped the ball!]]'' ''(Freeza glares)'' Dropped the ball. ''(Freeza twitches)'' Drrrropped the ba- ''(Freeza fires at Death Ball)''
* Bulma starts hitting on Trunks. While calm on the outside, he is understandably [[TheScream screaming in his head.]]
--> '''Bulma''': So hey, like just gonna throw this out there. You're really cute.
--> '''Trunks''': Well, you know, my mom always said I was a cute kid.
--> '''Bulma''': Oh a momma's boy huh? [[RightForTheWrongReasons I'll be your mommy.]] *winks*
--> '''Trunks''': [''[[TheUnSmile Strained smile]]''] (thinking) '''[[ScreamingAtSquick AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]][[SickAndWrong AAAAAAAAAAA]][[ThisIsWrongOnSoManyLevels AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!]]'''
* Which is immediately followed by:
--> '''Krillin''': Can I have another Hetap?
--> '''Trunks''': (hysterically) YES! Yes you can!
** Bonus points for the internal scream being so loud that it actually is audible when Krillin starts speaking.
* And later, when Vegeta tries to figure out who Trunks is...
--> '''Vegeta''': ''If he's never met him before, how the hell does this kid know where Kakarot is going to land? And he can't actually be a damn Saiyan. Either he's a liar, or... maybe... wait a second!'' Did someone drink the last Hetap!? I'll kill you!
--> '''Krillin''': [[Film/TheThreeStooges Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoop!]]
* Freeza having a literal BSOD.
** Even better, the BSOD noise continues as the DiagonalCut happens, and it invokes the feel of dramatic Japanese drums reaching a crescendo.
*** Even more better, the BSOD screen reveals that Freeza is running on ''Windows 95'', which explains his malfunctioning.
** Hilariously, Kaiser Neko mentioned in a later podcast that there were many viewers who had been watching the episode full-screen and freaked out when the BSOD hit.
* The slogan on Vegeta's shirt gets increasingly suggestive as the episode goes on. Going from "Dum Cumpster" to "Pull My Hair" to "Blowjob Princess." Bonus point for Vegeta saying "I'm a real man!" while the shirt says "Blowjob Princess".
* Trunks' GPS.
---> '''GPS''': Fly 300 metres north-west, then land near [[MadLibsDialogue IDIOT ROCK]].
---> '''Trunks''': So that's what they called it before "Idiot Crater".
* Vegeta's reaction to learning that there is another Super Saiyan.
---> '''Gohan''': Guys, I think that person is a Super Saiyan.
---> '''Vegeta''': Like hell he is!
---> '''Krillin''': Spiky gold hair, incredible power...
---> '''Vegeta''': You don't know that he's a Super Saiyan. [[CommanderContrarian Maybe he's Super Human, huh?!]] Maybe you slackers haven't been trying hard enough!
---> '''Tien''': Says the ''non''-Super Saiyan.
---> '''Vegeta''': FUCK OFF!
* When Trunks offers everyone a drink.
--> '''Tien''': Isn't it a little early to start drinking?
--> '''Bulma''': Hey, 5 o'clock was 20 hours ago! *downs a can*
* When Vegeta refuses to trust Trunks' claim that Goku will arrive soon, Goku does just that.
--> "That could be anyone!"
* Vegeta instantly hating Trunks when he turns to them.
--> '''Trunks''': Hey guys!
--> '''Vegeta''': Fuck this guy!
** After that;
--> '''Trunks''': I'm about to go meet Goku, just follow me!\\
'''Gohan''': Wait, did he just say my dad?\\
'''Krillin''': Wait Gohan, we don't know if we can trust this guy.\\
'''Trunks''': I also brought snacks!\\
'''Krillin''': ...but the Bible does say love thy neighbour!\\
'''Gohan''': You're a Buddhist.\\
'''Krillin''': A ''hungry'' Buddhist.
* TheStinger with Bulma and Krillin's conversation about Trunks' "carpet matching the drapes", with Krillin revealing that [[BaldOfAwesome his does]].
--> '''Krillin''': It's called man-scaping.\\
'''Bulma''': It's weird.\\
'''Krillin''': It's hygienic.
* Poor Yamcha. He can never catch a break.
--> (''When Yamcha is questioning why they brought Bulma to the battle'')
--> '''Yamcha:''' Personally, I don't think Bulma should be here, a battlefield is no place for a lady.
--> '''Vegeta:''' ...And yet you're sticking around.
--> '''Yamcha:''' I'm serious, I worry about her safety, and as her close and personal friend, possibly the bestie, I think we need to-Aaagh!
--> (''Bulma grabs his ear.'')
--> '''Bulma:''' Anyone want to explain to Yamcha what ten pounds of torque does to a human ear?
--> '''Gohan:''' ...Rips it off?
--> '''Bulma:''' Very good, Gohan!
--> (''Everyone laughs'')
--> '''Krillin:''' (''laughter dies down'') Oooh... we're gonna fucking die.
* After Trunks asks Freeza why he has 'spare parts' coming out of him...
--> '''Freeza:''' Impudent little... These are not spare parts! What you are looking at is the ultimate culmination of science and nature!
--> '''Trunks:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, wow! I've... never seen that before.]]
* Freeza likes to play 'Pretty Pink Princess'.
--> '''Freeza:''' Daddy, I haven't done that since I was eigh-eigh-eigh- my quinceañera.
* When Trunks confronts Freeza, he invokes the NoPronunciationGuide (With an ounce of SpellMyNameWithAnS). It's Freeza and Cold's "WTF" reaction that sells it.
--> '''Trunks:''' So, you must be Frieza ("Fry-za").
--> '''Freeza:''' Actually It's Lord Freeza.
--> '''Trunks:''' Really? Then why is there an I in it?
--> '''Freeza:''' There isn't.
--> '''Trunks:''' Huh. Gonna have to fix that when I get back then.
* When Trunks goes Super Saiyan the rest of the cast conclude it's either Goku or... Freeza's mom.
--> '''Krillin:''' Who here just thought of Freeza with boobs? (awkward silence)
--> '''Krillin:''' Really? I'm the only one?
--> '''Vegeta:''' Yes! (thinking) ''He must never know.''
* In the opening, Freeza tries to narrate the disclaimer, but his VerbalTic gets so bad [[TakeThat (around saying Dragon Ball GT, no less)]] that King Cold ends up having to finish it for him. It gets better when Freeza's glitching stops and he says "Absalon", which refers to another fan-made Dragon Ball series.
* When the Z-Fighters finally arrive just in time for Trunks to finish off Freeza.
--> '''Krillin''': Where's Freeza! Oh, there he is...
--> (Trunks dices Freeza up and blows him up.)
--> '''Krillin''': And there...and there...(scorched piece of Freeza hits him in the head)...and here...Is that his brain?
** And after Trunks kills Cold and destroys their ship.
--> '''Krillin:''' Good work team!
* This little quick gem when Trunks properly meets the group.
-->'''Trunks''': Now I'm sure you're all wondering why I brought you here.
-->'''Krillin''': Snacks!
-->'''Yamcha''': To kill us!
-->'''Vegeta''': ''[[BreadEggsBreadedEggs To kill snacks!]]''
** Which, knowing Vegeta, is probably a legitimate response.
* Goku's return to Earth and finding out he's a ''liiiiiiiittle'' late to the party.
--> '''Goku''': GUYS WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME FREEZER'S HERE AND-(''Sees everyone cheering'')... Yaaaaaaaaay... ah ha... what?
* This hilarious exchange following Freeza's death
--> '''King Cold''': (angrily) You murdered my princess...! (calmly) Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
--> [{{Beat}}]
--> '''Trunks''': ...children?
--> '''King Cold''': Yeah!
--> '''Trunks''': Okay...sorta thought you'd be a little more pissed.
--> '''King Cold''': [[TranquilFury Oh, blindingly so]]. Mind if I see your sword?
--> '''Trunks''': What? Why?
--> '''King Cold''': I just wish to hold it.
--> '''Trunks''': No!
--> '''King Cold''': Oh, come on, be neighborly.
--> '''Trunks''': I'm not your neighbor. I also think I hate you.
--> '''King Cold''': Look, after what you did I can fit what's left of my son into a meat pie. ''Let me see your stupid sword!''
--> {{Beat}}
--> '''Trunks''': [sighs] Fine.
* Freeza's still a horrible boss, but Trunks plays off him SO WELL. After Trunks threatens to kill him...
--> '''Freeza''': Soldiers! Do your jobs.
--> '''Soldier''': Lord Freeza, with all due respect...
--> '''Freeza''': This sounds like insubordination.
--> '''Soldier''': [[OnlySaneMan He just turned an entire squad into a]] ''[[LudicrousGibs PILE OF LIMBS]]''.
--> '''Freeza''': And THAT sounds like it's not my problem.
--> '''Soldier 2''': Man, move your [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitchin' bitch ass over bitch!]] *uses scouter on Trunks* What, power level of five? Shit, [[MemeticMutation ain't nobody got time for that]]. *Shoots at Trunks, who easily deflects it into a [[RunningGag mount-plateau.]]*
--> '''Soldier 2''': Well that ain't right... *Falcon Punched by Trunks into Freeza's ship.*
--> '''Trunks''': Consider that a warning. Either leave now or die.
--> '''Freeza''': Ooh, is that an ultimatum? I love ultimatums! Here's mine. Either die to him or die to me! *Trunks takes a stance as the soldiers rush him...and slashes them all faster then can be seen. All the soldiers are still standing, immobile.*
--> '''Freeza''': What...What just happened?
--> '''Trunks''': [[{{Badass}} Give it a second.]]
--> '''Freeza''': No, really they're just...
--> '''Trunks''': No, no hang on... *Trunks sheathes his sword and the bodies all drop.*
--> '''Trunks''': Yeah, took me a whole three months to get that one down. [[{{Lampshaded}} They make it look a lot easier then it really is.]] *One soldier is shown still alive, visibly terrified of Trunks* REAL hard part was that guy's armor. *Said soldier's scouter breaks in half, and his armor follows suit as Trunks keeps talking.* Went through a dozen mannequins before I cinched that one. *The soldier backs away slowly from Trunks...*
--> '''Freeza''': You missed a spot. *impales the soldier with his arm.*
--> '''Soldier 3''': Lord Freeza... the [[PrecisionFStrike f*ck?]] *Freeza pulls his arm out and the soldier drops.*
* King Cold, about to be killed by Trunks, tries to bargain.
-->'''King Cold:''' We could work out a deal! I'll give you a planet! Three planets! Two and a half?
-->'''Trunks:''' You just went down.
-->'''King Cold:''' I'm a haggler...?
** Just before that, Trunks' "[[CurbStompBattle fight]]" with King Cold.
-->'''King Cold:''' (trying to get Trunks to give him his sword) Come on, be neighborly.
-->'''Trunks:''' I'm not your neighbor! ...I also think I hate you.
-->(Trunks eventually tosses the sword, King Cold tries to cut Trunks with it, who effortlessly catches it and powers up)
-->'''King Cold:''' Uh... still not sure if you hate me?
-->'''Trunks:''' Actually that pretty much sealed it. (blows a hole in King Cold's chest)
[[WMG: Episode 34]]
* Goku sees Trunks transform into a Super Saiyan the first time.
-->'''Goku:''' What happened to your hair? It's yellow!
-->'''Trunks:''' Um... so's yours.
-->'''Goku:''' ''It is?!''
* Goku is asked to explain how he survived Namek's explosion.
-->'''Goku:''' Muffin butto--
-->'''Gohan:''' Don't say muffin button!
-->'''Goku:''' But it ''was''! There's science and stuff.
** [[spoiler:Goku explains that he made so many muffins that they shielded from the blast and carried him to another planet.]]
* Bulma and Vegeta getting into some DestructoNookie. Also Vegeta's reaction to her question:
-->'''Vegeta''': [[spoiler:...the fuck's a condom?]]
** It should be noted that this is the first main-series use of an unbleeped and uninterrupted "fuck," making this also a PrecisionFStrike.
** Also Vegeta for some reason firing the [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Galick Gun]] during the, ahem, climax. And immediately following this, [[SmokingHotSex smoke from the hole it made can be seen]] going into the night sky.
** Also [[SlapSlapKiss their back-and-forth insulting each other]] [[BelligerentSexualTension before doing it]].
--->'''Bulma:''' Oh, no! The Prince is getting all huffy! [[CallBack What are you gonna do, try to blow up Earth again?]] Because I have Goku on speed dial.
--->'''Vegeta:''' You must be as stupid as he is if you think he knows how to work a phone!
--->'''Bulma:''' Don't you call me stupid!
--->'''Vegeta:''' Okay, then how about BITCH?!
--->'''Bulma:''' Arrogant dick!
--->'''Vegeta:''' Spoiled sow!
--->'''Bulma:''' F*** you!
--->'''Vegeta:''' F*** ''you''!
--->'''Bulma:''' F*** ''YOU''!
--->'''Vegeta:''' '''F***... YOU!'''
--->'''Bulma:''' ...my room, 10 minutes.
* How did they incorporate the infamous driving episode? Goku and Piccolo just suddenly decide to go for a joyride. The second of which they ditch training (and Gohan) for.
-->'''Goku''': Sooooo... Wanna go drive cars?
-->'''Piccolo''': Bitchin'!
** The first time has Goku singing "[[{{Music/ACDC}} Highway to]] [[GoshDangItToHeck HFIL]]" and the second time during TheStinger has Piccolo singing "[[CatchPhrase Dodge]], Bitch!" [[note]]Originally "Move, Bitch!" by Ludacris[[/note]]
* Trunks' farewell.
-->'''Trunks:''' ''(thinking)'' Father, I hope to get to know you a little better next time. Mother, [[{{Squick}} I hope to get to know you a little]] ''[[{{Squick}} less]]''.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Get the hell outta here!
* Goku's reaction to Trunks telling him he's Bulma and Vegeta's son. Piccolo's reaction to it really sells it.
-->'''Piccolo:''' Hahahahahahahahaha!
-->'''Vegeta:''' What's so funny!?
-->'''Piccolo:''' Your shirt!
-->'''Vegeta:''' Arrrrrrgh!
* Trunks introducing himself to Goku.
-->'''Trunks:''' (thinking) OK, Trunks. Don't be nervous. He's just a normal guy. Just introduce yourself.
-->'''Trunks:''' So, you're Sun Wukong, right? (thinking) Dammit!
-->'''Goku:''' I am Son Goku, yes.
-->'''Trunks:''' (thinking) Roll with it.
** This is actually a double joke. It's a reference to the [[JourneyToTheWest character Goku is loosely based on.]]
* In this series, Trunks reveals that Goku's death by heart attack is caused by high cholesterol.
-->'''Trunks:''' (to Goku) According to the coroner, too much bacon.
-->'''Goku:''' [[BerserkButton *turns Super Saiyan*]] '''[[TranquilFury You take that back.]]'''
-->'''Trunks:''' But listen. In the future, my mother has developed medication that will help level your cholesterol.
-->'''Goku:''' Is it grape-flavored?
-->'''Trunks:''' I don't know. Yes?
-->'''Goku:''' 'Cause I don't like grape.
-->'''Trunks:''' Then it's bacon-flavored.
-->'''Goku:''' Yaaay.
* A BlackComedy bit where while the other Z-fighters(except Goku) are killed by the Androids or [[InsistentTerminology cyborgs]], [[spoiler: Yamcha is DrivenToSuicide when he learns Bulma is pregnant with Vegeta's child.]] Goku's reaction to the news really sells it.
-->'''Goku:''' Dark.
** This exchange between Goku and Yamcha afterwards is a mix of hilarity and CrowningMomentOfHeartWarming
-->'''Goku:''' "Wait, Yamcha?"
-->'''Yamcha:''' "Yeah?"
-->'''Goku:''' "You're my friend."
-->'''Yamcha''' "Oh! Uh... thank you, man"
*** Also becomes MoodWhiplash when the driving scene mentioned above happens immediately afterward.
* Goku's confusion about whether God is Kami or King Kai. Later, when he learns who Future Trunks' parents are:
-->'''Goku:''' Oh, my Gamikai.
* The team comparing Future Trunks Super Saiyan status with Goku's Super Saiyan status:
-->'''Bulma:''' Blonde spiky hair...\\
'''Gohan:''' Incredible aura...\\
'''Krillin:''' Well, Vegeta, now that Goku's here to compare, we can finally say for sure that that kid's a Super--\\
'''Vegeta:''' Utter one more word, and no dragon alive will be able to fix what I do to you.\\
'''Krillin:''' ...So, Tien, have you been lifting? Because you are jacked.\\
'''Tien:''' Yeah. Who knows? Maybe ''I'll'' be the next Super Sayian.\\
''[Vegeta mutters {{Angrish}} at Tien]''
* Goku is the next to mention Vegeta's shirt.
-->'''Goku''': Oh, hey Vegeta! Nice shirt.
-->'''Vegeta''': I...''you..!'''
-->'''Goku''': Pink is a good colour on you!
-->'''Vegeta''': (thinking) ...Just take the compliment.
* The episode in general continued the trend of Tien managing to press all of Vegeta's buttons.
-->'''Vegeta:''' ...And I, [[BlatantLies as a Super Saiyan]], relish the challenge.\\
'''Goku:''' You're a Super Saiyan, Vegeta? Show me!\\
'''Vegeta:''' I... well... well I just... I--\\
'''Tien:''' Don't tell me, [[CallBack you're not in the mood.]]\\
'''Vegeta:''' What, does that third eye make you psychic?\\
'''Tien:''' No, but it does help me see bullshit.\\
'''Vegeta:''' Hey... [[ScrewYouGuysImGoingHome F*CK YOU!]]
* Gohan still hasn't worked out the art of dodging.
* Trunks' time machine using the [[Series/DoctorWho TARDIS]] sound effect.
** And [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=844_IkhcP-g The Doctor Forever]] was playing in that scene
* Piccolo explaining to Goku that he heard the whole conversation between him and Trunks.
-->'''Piccolo''': I heard everything.
-->'''Goku''': Please don't tell everybody.
-->'''Piccolo''': Ohohohoho I won't.
-->'''Nail''': I will.
-->'''Piccolo''': Shut up Nail.
-->'''Goku''': 'kay.
* When Goku accidentally launches Chi-Chi out of the house and through a tree.
-->'''Gohan''': DAD, RUN!
-->'''Goku''': WHAT?
-->'''Gohan''': THE WORST SHE CAN DO IS GROUND ME, NOW RUN!
** Before that, we had Chi-Chi's reaction to Goku wanting to take Gohan training:
-->'''Chi-Chi:''' LIKE HELL YOU WILL!\\
'''Goku:''' Oh, come on, Chi-Chi.\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' Don't you "Come on, Chi-Chi" me! You're gone off in God knows where space, refuse to let the dragon take you home, and the first thing you ask for when you get back? "Oh, hey, Chi-Chi, mind if I take our baby boy to go train to FIGHT SOME MONSTER ROBOTS?!"\\
'''Goku:''' [[InsistentTerminology Androids]]. And the first thing I asked about was dinner.\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' The answer is NO!\\
'''Goku:''' No to dinner or no to Gohan?\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' '''''BOTH!'''''
* "Look at my nipples, '''LOOK AT THEM!!'''"
** *Ship outside explodes* "AAH! My nipples!!"
* Gohan seems to be getting ''reeeeally'' tired of Goku's antics.
-->'''Gohan''': Wait, so the first thing we do after you get back, after being gone for a year and a half... is ''train''...
-->'''Goku''': I know, I'm excited too!
-->'''Gohan''' [[TranquilFury ...yea, ok.]]
* Goku testing out Instant transmission by stealing Master Roshi's sunglasses.
-->'''Roshi:''' GOKU JUST DONE STOLE MY GLASSES!
* When Goku comes back and wonders how everyone's alive, Bulma says it was Trunks. This exchange, happens.
--> '''Goku:''' Oh, if it ain't you, you old so-an-so! It's been so long since I, uh... I.... I mean... You...
--> '''Trunks:''' We've never met before.
--> '''Goku:''' Oh, thank God! Or Kami, or King Kai, I don't know that whole thing is screwy.
* And after Trunks leaves...
--> '''Goku''': What a nice young lady.
** This bit is even funnier considering how Goku's inability to identify gender was a running gag throughout most of ''Manga/DragonBall''.
* That Master Roshi was listening to "Sex Bomb" by Tom Jones when "Goku done stole [his] glasses!"
[[WMG: Episode 35]]
* Goku lets slip to Chi-Chi that he's taking Gohan to fight androids. One awkward silence later, a neat CallBack to the first few episode occurs.
-->'''Goku''': I'm taking Gohan, bye!
** Followed immediately by Chi-Chi screaming in the background as they fly-off.
** Also, Gohan's reaction to Goku messing up. You can tell he is tired of Goku's shit.
-->'''Gohan''': (exasperated) Three years Dad. You almost had it.
* Krillin compliments Bulma's boobs.
-->'''Bulma:''' (thinking) ''Just take the compliment.''
* "Cat loves food, yeah yeah yeah yeah."
-->'''Krillin:''' So...that song...
-->'''Yamcha:''' I was desperate and needed the money. And no, it wasn't worth it.
* The good guys point out that the tiny island is covered in a dense city - what do they even do there? "Apparently, prostitution is legal."
-->'''All:''' Oooooooooohhhhhhhh.....
-->'''Piccolo:''' So the prostitutes.
* Gero rips the engine out of a guy's car.
-->'''Driver''': Please put that back. I kinda need that to flee from you!
* Krillin's sex puns regarding Yamcha getting a hand through his chest.
-->'''Krillin:''' Huh. Guess there's a new kind of fisting in this city.
-->'''Krillin:''' Yeah, I get ya. I never have any energy after a handjob either. BA-DA-BA-BA-DA-BYE!
* Android #19's analysis of why they know about the Androids:
-->'''Android #19:''' "Analyzing... processing, processing complete. They are psychic, probability... 92.4%. THEY CAN SEE THE FYOO-CHURR."
* Android #19 executes [[OhCrap Murder.exe]]... and then crashes at 65% loading. And then asks Gero if he'd like to send an error report. Then does anyway when Gero says no.
-->'''Android 20:''' SON OF A WHORE! NOW TO WAIT FIVE MINUTES TO DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!
** Huh. Guess Freeza isn't the only one that's running on Windows 95.
* The entire argument between Bulma and Vegeta [[spoiler: after he gets her pregnant.]]
--> '''Bulma:''' You said you were wearing protection!
--> '''Vegeta:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I was wearing my armor!]]
--> **Beat**
--> '''Bulma:''' **Scoff** You're a moron.
* The CreditsGag lists [[spoiler: Brent Spiner]] as Android 19.[[spoiler: [[DontExplainTheJoke The joke is that it's a text to speech program they used.]]]]
* This bit comes up as Gero attempts to explain his backstory to Goku and the others. Gero's reaction after Goku speaks up is particularly amusing.
--> '''Gero:''' But allow me to shed a little light for you. For the last 14 years ever since the 22nd World Martial Arts Tournament...
--> '''Goku:''' Oh, I remember that one! I got hit by a car!
--> '''Gero:''' ....Indeed.
* Throughout the entire episode, Goku mentions that his chest hurts, clearly referring to the fatal heart failure he will suffer. Why is this funny? His issue is his high cholesterol from eating too much bacon. Near the end of the episode, Goku mentions he ate all of his pocket bacon on the way to the battlefield.
* This:
--> '''Krillin''' Oh, hey Gohan. You've barely grown since the last time I saw you, huh?
-->'''Goku''' It's funny! I think that every time I see you!
* The stoner skater. All of it. "Dude... are you holding?"
* The mechanical noises 19 and Gero make when they move give a nice touch.
* Tien's exasperation at Yamcha almost getting killed by the Androids. "Oh come on man! You couldn't last, like, 30 seconds!?"
** Earlier, Yamcha, hearing the screams, tries to convince himself that the others will be along shortly...[[ThisIsGoingToSuck only to realize that he has to check out the scene.]]
* Goku, trying to find the Androids, wonders, "If I were an android, where would I be?" before his train of thought becomes derailed. "Of course, if I were an android, it wouldn't change where I am, just ''what'' I am..."
* When Piccolo decides that the Z-fighters will have to search for the Androids in the city by hand, they all start complaining.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Episodes - Other]]
* [[http://teamfourstar.com/page-makeaman This is the best song ever.]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24Nf57XYUn8 This one is better.]]
* Nappa's year-long AreWeThereYet, which at first seems to come to a rather anticlimactic end ("Yay!") only to be brought back in a wonderfully unexpected way: "Is he here yet?"
* They turned Recoome into [[DwayneJohnson The Rock]].
** He's a mash-up of the Rock, HulkHogan, and JohnCena in one ball of wrestling hilarity.
** Apparently, as episode 20 shows, [[spoiler: Goku is HulkHogan.]]
* And then there's this:
-->'''Gohan:''' I swear, I don't even know what's going on anymore.
* Guru has two words for everyone.
--> '''Guru:''' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmPW0bhWIiY Drop it!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Movies]]
[[WMG:Bardock - Father of Goku Abridged]]
* Bardock is only slightly better a parent than Goku:
--> '''Bardock:''' Hey there, Kakarrot. It's your daddy! Let's see what kind of power level we've got here... Alright, whoa ho ho ho! Ten-thousand! That's my boy! *sees name plaque* ...Wait, Broly...?
** Even better is the set-up to that. Bardock at first doesn't give a damn when the doctor asks if he wants to see Goku, noting that he never paid attention to [[ButtMonkey Raditz]] when he was growing up. The doctor answers, "And we all know how ''he'' turned out," followed by a GilliganCut to the above line.
* Another from the Bardock special:
--> '''Gohan:''' Someone threw out a perfectly good baby! I think I'll name you... [[{{Superman}} Clark]].
* Bardock witnessing the future of his son Goku... in a scene from ''[[CanonDiscontinuity Dragon Ball GT]]''. "...And now I welcome the sweet embrace of death."
** "Well, I'd say I should've seen this coming, but that would be ironic."
* The RunningGag of Bardock's psychic powers kicking in at the wrong time.
--->'''Bardock:''' [fighting Dodoria's henchmen, thinking] I can't believe [my team] lost to these guys! What a bunch of- OH SWEET CRAP NOT AGAIN!
--->'''Goku:''' Kaio Ken!
--->'''Bardock:''' (Back in his own time) Kaio what? ([[TalkToTheFist Punched in]] [[RunningGag the face]] by something completely different)
*** "[[UselessSuperpowers USELESS-ASS PSYCHIC POWERS]]!!!"
** Mr. Popo's cameo as Bardock first gets his ability to see the future.
** This exchange
--->'''Dodoria:''' I think that Bardock's a pretty cool guy.
--->'''Zarbon:''' [[MemeticMutation He conquers planets and doesn't afraid of anything]].
--->'''Freeza:''' Doesn't afraid of anything ''indeed''.
* The ''whole exchange'' between Nappa and young Prince Vegeta.
-->'''Nappa:''' Vegeta!
-->'''Vegeta:''' What is it, Nappa?
-->'''Nappa:''' Well, I've got good news... aaaaand bad news. The ''bad'' news is... *rushed* ''reports say our entire planet has been destroyed by a gigantic meteorite along with all its inhabitants.''
-->'''Vegeta:''' Ah- But- What about-?!
-->'''Nappa:''' Aaand your father.
-->'''Vegeta:''' My. Whole. Family. My race!
-->'''Nappa:''' But the good news is ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice we're going to Dairy Queen!]]''
-->'''Vegeta:''' My entire race is gone!
-->'''Nappa:''' ''DAAIIIRY QUEEN!''
-->'''Vegeta:''' ...Just take me to the damn queen, Nappa.
-->'''Nappa:''' Yaaay! This seems like the beginning of a bee-yootiful friendship.
* '''Toolo:''' "[[NoIndoorVoice I CAN SEE THE]] '''[[NoIndoorVoice FYOOO]]'''-[[NoIndoorVoice CHURRRR]]!!!!!!"
** [[NoIndoorVoice OH, NO! THEY CAN SEE ME!!]] [[NoIndoorVoice I HAVE TO STOP YOU FROM DESTROYING MY RACE!]] [[NoIndoorVoice IN THE]] '''[[NoIndoorVoice FYOOO]]'''-'''[[NoIndoorVoice CHURRRR!!!!!]]'''
*** "Um, we already did that." *{{beat}}* [[NoIndoorVoice "I KNEW YOU'D DO THAT!" NOW I HAVE TO KILL YOU! NOW YOU, TOO, CAN SEE THE FYOOO-CHURRRR!!!!!]]
*** [[NoIndoorVoice I'M ON FIRE!!!]]
* The special addresses something that was overlooked in the original. As Bardock declares their independence from Freeza, hundreds of Freeza's men are behind him. In this version, they have the presence of mind to object to his all-inclusive terminology.
-->"This man does not speak for us. [...] Seriously, we're not with him."
* A cameo after Planet Vegeta is destroyed.
-->'''Sauza:''' Monsieur Cooler! It seems that your brother is destroying the planet Vegeta!
-->'''Cooler:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Very impressive, killing off a bunch of monkeys.]] Any liquored-up hillbilly with a shotgun could've done that at the zoo.
-->'''Sauza:''' ''[sees Goku's pod]'' Wait, sir! It seems he has missed one ship! We are in range to intercept-
-->'''Cooler:''' No. Let it go.
-->'''Sauza:''' But, why?
-->'''Cooler:''' Because, [[spoiler:I'm a prick.]]
* When Bardock's fighting the last two of the group that killed his teammates, he pulls off some DeadlyDodging to get one to bury his fist in the other, prompting the injured one to call the other a "[[RedVsBlue Team killing fucktard!]]"
[[WMG:Christmas Tree of Might]]
* The entirety of "Christmas Tree of Might". Especially the end.
--> '''Vegeta:''' This is so non-canon, it hurts.
--> '''Ghost Nappa:''' ''Vegeeeeeeta!'' Tonight, you will be haunted by three ''ghoooooosts!'' (Appears) And they're all me. (Soon, two more Ghost Nappas show up.)
-->'''Ghost Nappas''' (simultaneous): Hi!
--> '''Vegeta:''' Goddamnit, I hate Christmas.
** The "mouth present" thing.
---> '''Goku:''' Well, what am I getting for Christmas?
---> '''Chi-Chi:''' The same thing as last year, Goku.
---> '''Goku:''' Oh, so that thing you do with your mouth...
---> '''Chi-Chi:''' NOT IN FRONT OF GOHAN!
*** And later...
----> (Gohan is transformed into a Great Ape)
----> '''Goku:''' Oh, man! If Chi-Chi finds out about this, I might not get mouth present.
* The wish Krillin makes [[spoiler: which causes the events of the special.]] Thank you, Krillin and thank you [[JackassGenie Shenron]].
* Shenron's jackassness is hilarious.
--> '''Shenron:''' No! No way! No, not you again! HAS IT EVEN BEEN A YEAR?!
--> '''Oolong:''' It's been one year, 2 months and 50...
--> '''Shenron:''' SHUT THE HELL UP!
* Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell [[CrowningMusicOfAwesome ROCK THE DRAGON, DRAGON BALL Z!]]
* [[OneSceneWonder This:]]
--> '''Piccolo:''' [[SouljaBoy Bitch, you look like Goku.]]
--> '''Turles:''' And ''you'' [[CallBack look like a Yoshi.]]
--> '''Piccolo:''' I get that. Now hand over the kid [Gohan].
--> '''Turles:''' You want this kid?
--> '''Piccolo:''' I want him!
--> '''Turles:''' You want this kid?
--> '''Piccolo:''' I want him!!
--> '''Turles:''' You want this kid?
--> '''Piccolo:''' '''I want him!!'''
--> '''Turles:''' You want-you want?
--> '''Piccolo:''' '''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesaA I WANT THAT KID!!]]'''
* Goku singing while Chi-Chi is lecturing Gohan.
--> '''Chi-Chi:''' Goku, stop that or I'll deck you in the halls!
* "Did I just smash the Krampus?"
* "Falalalalalalala'''DIE'''."
* [[BerserkButton "YOU NEVER WASTE FIGGY PUDDING!"]] *beatdown ensues*
* Goku's attempt to reason with the tree.
-->'''Goku:''' Big tree, if you don't leave right now, I'm going to beat you up.\\
'''Yamcha:''' Goku, trees can't talk.\\
'''Amond:''' (Offscreen) Why don't you come up here and ''try it''.\\
'''Yamcha:''' [[GivingUpOnLogic Ya know what, f*** it, I don't care anymore]].
* Yamcha's [[CurbStompBattle "fight"]] with Cacao:
-->'''Cacao:''' [[RoboSpeak Singing]]: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVZxKtnUtDk Yamcha the Scarfaced Bandit]].\\
'''Song:''' ''But do you recall, the most useless fighter of all...''\\
'''Yamcha:''' Go to hell! *throws a Spirit Ball, which misses*\\
'''Yamcha:''' *trying to redirect the Spirit Ball, and still missing* Oh. Come. On. Come. On. Damn. You.\\
'''Song:''' ''Yamcha the Scarfaced Bandit, always beaten by his foes...''\\
'''Cacao:''' Do you require assistance?\\
'''Yamcha:''' *still trying to redirect the Spirit Ball* Shut. Up. You. *the Spirit Ball finally hits* YES! TAKE THAT MOTHERFU- *Cacao knocks Yamcha to the ground*\\
'''Song:''' ''...and if you saw this guy fight, you would even say he blows.''\\
'''Cacao:''' Agreed.
* Related: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrHoJ_UBnRk Yamcha the Scar Faced Bandit]] in full. Particularly when [[ButtMonkey Krillin]] manages to smack talk him.
* Turles' rant against Christmas in front of Gohan, mainly because of the voice, the way he was speaking, and [[TheGrinch who he is quoting]].
** Also the previous, nefarious misdeeds of his mooks, including [[BestialityIsDepraved raping Rudolph]].
* As horrible as the implications are, it just crosses so many lines it ends up on funny.
-->'''Slay:''' You know, you look like one of the kids I let sit on my lap once. 'Course, he was a cancer patient. Asked me if I could get rid of his cancer.\\
'''Krillin:''' Oh God, this is going exactly where I think it is, isn't it?\\
'''Slay:''' So I blew him up! [[ExactWords No more cancer]]!\\
'''Krillin:''' God, you are one of the worst mall Santas ever. Right behind those ones that molest kids.\\
'''Slay:''' ''*{{Beat}}*'' So I'm the worst mall Santa.\\
'''Krillin:''' Oh come on!
[[WMG:Lord Slug Abridged]]
* From the Lord Slug movie, we have Piccolo's interaction with Slug's minions.
--> '''Piccolo:''' Alright, what's your gimmick?
--> '''Minion:''' Gimmick?
--> '''Piccolo:''' Yeah, like the last guys, they were all misfit minions and crap, what're you?
--> '''Angira:''' We're just here for your planet. Though if I had to choose, I'd say I'm the pretty one.
--> '''Piccolo:''' Eh, 6 out of 10.
--> '''Angira:''' ''You sassy bitch.''
--> '''Piccolo:''' That makes you the weird one with the freaky power.
--> '''Medamatcha:''' I can spawn mini-mes'!
--> '''Piccolo:''' (sarcastically) ''Spectacular''. And that would make you no doubt the big, tough, stupid one.
--> '''Dorodabo:''' [[IResembleThatRemark You take that back or I'll kill you!]]
--> '''Piccolo:''' Alright, alright, you're not tough.
--> '''Dorodabo:''' That's better.
--> '''Gohan:''' Didn't you just...
--> '''Piccolo:''' Give him a minute.
-->*The minion thinks to himself...*
--> '''Dorodabo:''' HEY! You son of a bitcccccccccccch!
--> '''Piccolo:''' Now, now, that truck is NOT your eating disorder.
--> '''Dorodabo:''' You're a penis!
--> '''Piccolo:''' So long since you've seen yours, you don't even recognize one do ya?
** The truck returns in this gem delivered after Goku has been impacted into the ground like a vegetable.
--->'''Slug:''' You know, there's a certain sport I excel at.
--->'''Goku:''' *muffled due to being underground* What's it called?
--->'''Slug:''' *plucks Goku out by the leg* Competitive [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch BITCH TOSS!]] *hurls Goku into a truck*
* Lord Slug gets his youth back. His response is priceless
--> '''Slug''' Lord Slug the Almighty has returned! My youth, my Strength, my impeccable singing voice
** Scenechange to a dark cloud going over the world
--> '''Slug''' "I see trees of brown, and skies of black, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world!"
* After Piccolo rips his own ears off in order to avoid being affected by [[WeaksauceWeakness Gohan's whistling]], he keeps yelling "WHAT?" every time he thinks someone is talking to him, even when nobody's talking back. He later combines it with the Kaio-ken RunningGag:
-->'''Goku:''' Kaio-ken!
-->'''Slug:''' Kaio--
-->'''Piccolo:''' [[SubvertedTrope WHAT?]]
** It's doubly funny coupled with the fact Piccolo's BigDamnHeroes moment was accompanied by StoneColdSteveAustin's theme music; later in his career "WHAT?" became something of a catchphrase for him.
** Also comes back during the credits.
* Vegeta watches Krillin get pasted on TV and records the moment.
-->'''Vegeta:''' And the Emmy goes to...
-->'''Goku:''' [[SayMyName KRILLIN!]]
* Goku thinking it's Christmas for most of the movie. Because it's snowing!
** "I AM CHAMPION CHRISTMAS!"
* Piccolo and Nail's conversation at the beginning of the movie. (Nail is in Piccolo's head, even though he wouldn't have been at the time, but the movie doesn't really fit into continuity anyway.)
-->'''Piccolo:''' The Kamehameha doesn't drill things!
-->'''Nail:''' Last time I checked, neither do cannons.
-->'''Piccolo:''' THAT'S what makes it SPECIAL.
-->and
-->'''Nail:''' Who's that?
-->'''Piccolo:''' It's just Gohan. If you ignore it, it'll go away.
-->Also
-->'''Nail:''' So you just ignore all of your problems?
-->'''Piccolo:''' No, some I invite to live inside my ''head.''
* How Goku seems more worried about trivial things when landing on Iguana Street, than the actual fight.
-->'''Goku:''' Aw great Iguana Street, now I'm gonna get mugged. But the joke's on them! I have no mo-*Gets punched through wall.*
* The OverlyLongGag where Dorodabo repeatedly gets knocked off a building by Piccolo.
-->'''Dorobado''': Alright, come in from the left... he'll never see th- *POW!* Ah, he saw it coming! Alright, I'll just wait for him down here!
-->'''Piccolo''': Hey, how's it going?
-->'''Dorobado''': Hey, I'm just waiting for that green jerk to come down here so I can surprise him!"
-->'''Piccolo''': Neat.
-->'''Dorobado''': Yeah! He'll never see it co- [[OhCrap oh]]. *POW!*
* Goku's song while charging the Spirit Bomb.
--> '''Goku:''' Sun, sun, Mr. Golden Sun, kill my enemies!
* Piccolo's master plan against Lord Slug:
--> '''Piccolo:''' ''*standing on Slug's head*'' Hey. Name's Piccolo. I've got your antennae! Whatcha gonna do about it, huh?
--> ''*Slug grabs him*''
--> '''Piccolo:''' Aha! I ''knew'' you would do that! Now for phase two of my master plan! ''*tears off ears*'' AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!
--> '''Lord Slug:''' What the hell is ''wrong'' with everyone on this planet!?
* Medamatcha in general.
--> "Papa Medamatcha gonna make you his bitch!"
--> "What, bitch, I'm talking to you! I will smack you with my dick!"
** Everything he says is hilarious.
---> "Oh, I don't give a shit what Christmas is now. I just know I'm going to kill it, and then my little Matcha's are going to [[NoIndoorVoice RAPE]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice IT]]!"
* Squeaky Toy!Goku returns!
-->'''Slug:''' This is amazing!
-->'''Goku:''' Why does everyone keep doing that...? Those are my lungs...being crushed by my ribs...!
* Along with the CallBack when Lord Slug reveals himself to be a Namekian.
-->'''Goku:''' Hold on a minute. I know now! I know what he is! He's a-\\
'''King Kai:''' Do ''not'' say Yoshi!\\
'''Goku:''' ...I'mma still think it.
* This exchange.
-->'''Popo:''' *Hums* What?
-->'''Kami:''' Mr. Popo are you torturing a cat?
-->'''Popo:''' Oh come on Kami, I don't torture [[FalseReassurance cats]].
-->({{Beat}})
-->'''[[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Jynx]]:''' Jynx! Jynx!
-->'''Popo:''' Bitch, shut up!
* Slug's FamousLastWords.
-->'''''WHY DIDN'T I WISH FOR IMMORTALITY!?'''''
* And then we have TheStinger, when we find out that [[spoiler: not only is Lord Slug the result of a split from Guru, but Guru is Lord Slug's EVIL half]].
[[WMG:Revenge of Cooler Abridged]]
* An awkward moment involving Krillin's cooking:
-->'''Oolong:''' Wow, that smells fantastic! What's in there?
-->'''Krillin:''' Oh, just some essentials: carrots, potatoes, porrrrrrrrr-''[[[CarnivoreConfusion looks straight at Oolong]]]''-[[CrossesTheLineTwice poise]].
** Then the punchline, when Sauza spills the beans:
--->'''Oolong:''' Rot in hell, Krillin, I almost ate that!
* The fish:
-->'''Magic fish:''' Halt, stalwart stranger! If you let me go, I shall grant you one wish.
-->'''Goku:''' I wish for you to be my dinner!
-->(''screaming and beating noises'')
* Goku continues to be a terrible parent:
-->'''Goku:''' [talking to a pair of mooks] You get away from my food, my friend [Krillin], my two emergency foods [Oolong and Icarus], and my son! In that order.
** Then there's his "if I ever have a son" line to Cooler.
* Krillin pointing out that Gohan and Goku don't need his help.
-->'''Krillin''': Wait why do you need [[ButtMonkey my]] help? Can't Goku [[PersonOfMassDestruction bench press a planet]]?
-->'''Gohan''': Krillin, move the damn rocks!
* Cooler's response to learning Freeza's dead:
-->'''Cooler:''' Well I sure hope somebody picks up that phone. [{{beat}}] Because I f***ing called it.
* Sauza is from Space France. This results in lines like:
-->'''Sauza:''' Monsieur Cooler! Your brother... Lord Freeza... he has been... ''le killed!''
** Or, when he tries to blast Goku:
--->'''Sauza:''' ''Le'' suck it, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!]]
** And, this gem:
--->'''Sauza:''' Qu'est-ce que fuck.
** And, after leveling a forest:
--->'''Sauza:''' And now, ze perfect place for a shopping mall! It will have a cigarette shop, a baguette restaurant, ze Napoleon Museum, and a movie-theatre only showing films starring JeanReno. Ho-ho! I'm French!
** Finally, the punchline when [[spoiler: Sauza is killed]]
---->'''Sauza:''' ''I will see you in space hell... [[spoiler: Cousin Jeice.]]
* When the villains ambush Krillin, Gohan, Icarus, and Oolong:
-->'''[[ButtMonkey Krillin]]:''' *referring to Doore* Gohan! Look out! Its [[TheIncredibleHulk the Hul-]]! *gets knocked out* - [[NonSequiturThud Lololololoo...]] ''*thud*''
-->'''Gohan:''' Krillin! *tail gets grabbed* ''Goodbye, muscle control.''
* When Cooler's guys do their Super Sentai poses:
-->'''Goku:''' [{{Beat}}] I am having the worst case of ''Deja Mustard'' right now.
* Right after Cooler shows up, Gohan and the others are flying in to help Goku when:
-->'''Gohan:''' Dad! We're coming to help!
-->'''Cooler:''' (to Goku) Oh, is that your son?
-->'''Goku:''' ...Yeaaah?
-->'''[[SophisticatedAsHell Cooler]]:''' Imma kill it.
-->'''Goku:''' Don't you do it.
-->'''Cooler:''' Imma do it.
-->'''Goku:''' Don't you do it.
-->''Cooler uses EyeBeams at Gohan''
-->'''Goku:''' DANG IT! ''*flies in to take the hit for Gohan*''
* Icarus and Oolong waking up Krillin.
-->''SoundEffects of Icarus licking Krillin's face''
-->'''Krillin:''' Oh. Oh yeah. That's right Maron... Lower... Lower...
-->''*Krillin suddenly wakes up*''
-->'''Krillin:''' Wha?! Icarus?! [{{Beat}}] I didn't say stop.
-->[then later]
-->'''Goku:''' Krillin, what smells like dragon's breath?
-->'''Krillin:''' Shame, Goku. Lots and lots of shame.
* When Krillin tells Gohan to fly to Korin's tower on Icarus to pick up some Senzu beans for Goku:
-->'''Gohan:''' Wait, why am I going?
-->'''Krillin:''' Because the last time I hung out with him, [[OutOfFocus I completely forgot what his name was]] and kept calling him "Whiskers the Wonder Cat" the whole time... It was really awkward.
* Yajirobe and Korin's [[LikeAnOldMarriedCouple entire argument]], especially the end. "I'm not ready for kids!"
* Goku's dream, which rivals Krillin's in its weirdness:
-->'''Goku:''' Oh yeah. That's right Chi-Chi... Pour that maple syrup... All over my breakfast. You beautiful lady who lives in my house...
* When Piccolo confronts the three villains.
-->'''Piccolo:''' OK, I think I got this one. *points at Sauza* Pretty one. *points at Doore* Stupid one. *points at Neiz* One with weird powers.
-->'''Doore:''' Oi! I appreciate that, but I say I'm more handsome than pretty.
-->'''Sauza:''' And my powers are not that weird.
-->'''Neiz:''' *Roars unintelligibly*
-->'''Piccolo:''' *{{Beat}}* OK, I take it back, you're all stupid.
* Nail gives color commentary during Piccolo's fight with Sauza (still living in his head), primarily with a lot of ''StarWars: ReturnOfTheJedi'' references.
* Goku goes Super Saiyan, and we get a CallBack:
-->'''Goku:''' Not going anywhere for a while? Grab a Snickers.
-->'''Cooler:''' ...I can't help but think we're both missing some context here.
* Goku ''destroys the sun.'' But that's okay.
-->'''Mr. Popo:''' Uh, hold on a sec... *The sun flickers back into existence*
* And then there's this:
-->'''Cooler:''' I'MMA PLANT ME A DUMBASS TREE! (Punches Goku into the ground)
* Right before Cooler lobs his Supernova at Goku...
-->'''Cooler:''' By the way, before I throw this thing, did my brother do this?
-->'''Goku:''' Yeah but his was a lot smaller.
-->'''Cooler:''' KNEW IT! '''HA!'''
* Cooler's introduction counts as well:
-->'''Goku:''' FREEZER!
-->'''Sauza:''' Ha! You sink this is Freeza? No. He is... ''Cooler''
-->'''Goku:''' Cooler than Freezer? You must be ice cold!
-->'''Cooler:''' No, that would be my father.
* Sauza mistakes Goku's PowerLevel as Oolong's
-->'''Sauza:''' What? Who's power level is that? It's going off the scale! But the only one in there was the giant monkey and the pig. Sacre Bleu, could it be...the [[ComicallyMissingThePoint legendary Super Swine]]!?
* Goku telling Gohan that he wants to eat Icarus.
-->'''Gohan''': You won!
-->'''Goku''': Yep, and we all pitched in. Cept' Icarus. C'mere, Goku's hungry!
-->'''Gohan''': Wait, what are you-
-->'''Goku''': I WANNA EAT YOUR DRAGON!
** Later on
--->'''Goku''': ...No seriously, give me your dragon.
[[WMG:Episode of Bardock]]
* Bardock has a delayed realization. During his fight with Chilled.
-->'''Bardock:''' Hey! What year is it!?
-->'''Chilled:''' 2222!
-->'''Bardock:''' BC or AD?
-->'''Chilled:''' ...the hell are those?
-->'''Bardock:''' (deadpan) I'm in the f***ing past.
** The sheer shark-jumping of this moment causes him to go Super Saiyan.
--->'''Bardock:''' Of all the STUPID! ''(head-desks on the ground)'' ASININE! ''(punches ground)'' [[JumpingTheShark Shark-jumping]] bullshit! ''(head-smashes again, and turns Super-Saiyan in rage.)''
* During the opening, Freeza and co bring up callbacks from the earlier movie. Bardock's reactions are beautiful.
-->'''Freeza:''' You know, the funny thing is, Bardock, even if you had seen this coming, there's nothing you could have done about it.
-->'''Bardock:''' You don't... you have no goddamned idea.
-->'''Zarbon:''' Mm, and even if you'd told every single Saiyan, none of them would have believed you.
-->'''Bardock:''' Just... please stop talking.
-->'''Dodoria:''' And you never got a chance to say goodbye to your son.
-->'''Bardock:''' I have one of those? *realization* ''Oh god, I have TWO of those!''
** Bardock also shows that he is in fact Gohan's grandpa.
--->'''Freeza:''' Consider this downsizing on a global scale! You can pick up your unemployment checks wherever you end up.
--->'''Bardock:''' Go to hell! *throws energy blast*
--->'''Freeza:''' See, that was my first guess. *throws Death Ball, which absorbs Bardock's attack*
--->'''Bardock:''' Aw, crapbaskets.
* Every single past Saiyan is named for a different rapper. And they all sound like Kermit the Frog. And Bardock's sheer unbridled hatred for them knows no bounds.
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' Hi ho! We found you near death and in a valley not far from here. We helped bring you back to health with our magical healing S.P.O.O.G.E.
-->'''Bardock:''' *shocked and disgusted gasp*
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' '''S'''uper '''Po'''lym'''o'''rphic '''U'''nleashing '''Ge'''l. We brought you to our town in our pleasant, serene little planet. My name is Dray, and this is my child Twopock. Say hi ho, Twopock.
-->'''Twopock:''' Hi ho! Where are you from?
-->'''Bardock:''' (calmly) There is nothing about this whole scenario that doesn't make me so disgusted I want to violently vomit out my own internal organs. I despise you both so intensely that I can't tell if my vision is blurry from my near-death experience or from my unforgiving rage. If allowed, once I am back to full health, I will gut you with an honest-to-god smile on my face, and then proceed to paint the home I build with your bodies with your very blood.
-->'''*{{beat}}*'''
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' You hear that Twopock? You've made a friend.
-->'''Twopock:''' YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
** What makes this one even funnier is that Twopock's line is JumpCut directly into an explosion so for a second it feels like Bardock actually did kill them before shown otherwise.
* And later, after saving the village...
-->'''Saiyan:''' Hooray! Everyone give praise to our new violent savior!
-->'''All:''' [[WesternAnimation/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas Dah who dor-aze! Fah who dor-aze...]]
-->'''Bardock:''' NO! None of that! Shame on you!
** This is repeated later when Chilled and his minions arrive in the village asking for Bardock.
--->'''Saiyan:''' All hail the violent saviour!
--->'''All:''' [[WesternAnimation/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas Dah who dor-aze...]]
--->'''Chilled:''' NO! None of that! Shame on you!
** The look of sheer shock the Saiyans show when Chilled tells them "None of that!" is absolutely hilarious.
* Later, when Dr. Dray can be seen healing another resident.
-->'''Rizza:''' Thank you Dr. Dray, your Spooge has cured my syphilis.
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' *happily* You are welcome, Rizza.
-->'''Rizza:''' Well, back to what I was doing before!
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' Oh, you are just incorrigible.
-->*Chilled and his soldiers walk into the village.*
-->'''Soldier:''' Hello, we are the Space Police.
-->'''Aice Qube:''' *offscreen* Man, [[PrecisionFStrike BLEEP]] the police!
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' *annoyed* Not now, Aice Qube!
-->'''Solider:''' We are here to catch evil space criminals and various other ne'er do wells.
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' I can assure you that we have already exiled Khris of the clan Brown from our planet.
* Bardock schools Chilled's minions on how to intimidate a village.
-->'''Bardock:''' Seriously? This is how you intimidate a village? Blow up a house or two? I don't even think you killed anyone with those pea-shooters. Speaking of which, what models are those, they look ancient.
-->'''Soldier:''' Heeey, we were gonna kill one of the sick ones if they didn't comply.
-->'''Bardock:''' *sarcastically* Oh, ''kill one of the sick ones.'' What're you going to do next, waterboard the elderly?
-->'''Soldier:''' Look buddy, we didn't come here to be judged by you.
** This is again revisted during the Stinger during the credits, where Bardock actually ''[[EvilerThanThou instructs the villains]]'' on how to do PROPER villainy! It also includes a joke from the Ocean Dub.
--->'''Bardock:''' Seriously, you want to learn how to traumatize a village? Ok. See that kid over there? ''Bardock is shown blowing him up.''
--->'''Saiyan:''' RDP, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
--->'''Bardock:''' You hear that mother? THAT... is distraught.
--->'''Solider:''' ...You should write a book. You're like a brilliant scientist!
--->'''Bardock:''' Well, I ''am'' working on this fake moon thing.
*** To explain, the Ocean Dub has Vegeta credit Bardock for the creation of the Saiyans' false moon technique, even though this has no basis in canon.
* Chilled's hamminess is enough to send anyone into hysterical laughter.
-->'''Chilled:''' And nooow yououou diiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeee!
* And when the future Pineapple is informing Chilled of his two soldiers' deaths...
-->'''Pineapple:''' Lord Chilled! The vital sensors and the blasters of the two soldiers you just s-
-->'''Chilled:''' Shh, shh, shh.
-->''({{Beat}})''
-->'''Chilled:''' Continue.
-->'''Pineapple:''' ...have ceased transmissions. We believe they're dead!
-->'''Chilled:''' ''(gasps)'' Hooow outragggeous! In honor of their deaths, my men shall now and forever more be given the names of fruits! Pineapple! Briiing us to Planet Plant!
-->'''Pineapple:''' ...So, am I Pineapple?
-->'''Chilled:''' Yesssssssssssss!
* The whole thing was a story Goku made up to tell Gohan, then when he questions it... [[spoiler:he wakes up to Piccolo watching him.]]
-->[[spoiler: '''Piccolo:''' Go back to sleep Gohan.]]
* The blue mook shooting up the Saiyan village: "Inhabitants of Planet Plant: we are here on a diplomatic mission in the name of your new emperor, Lord Chilled. Pamphlets will be passed around to you to introduce you to your new, exciting lives as slaves to his almighty horniness."
* Bardock's reaction to Twopock coming to him for help: "Oh, [[SpaceX Space Christ]], what now?"
** This results in the second of Bardock's creeping realizations that he's in the past, which again is interrupted. He kicks Twopock away and flies off which leads to this gem.
--->'''Twopock:''' I am now bearing your child.
--->''({{Beat}})''
--->'''Twopock:''' YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
* This exchange between Chilled and Dr. Dray is as funny as it is full of innuendo.
-->'''Chilled:''' That's right! Continue to blow up the houses, we will avenge my men AND TAKE CONTROL OF THIS PLANET... Also we want your healing medicine.
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' How did you hear about our S.P.O.O.G.E.!?
-->'''Chilled:''' BECAUSE OF RAISINS! ...Raisins is my intel guy.
-->'''Solider:''' Now give us your S.P.O.O.G.E, or we'll beat it out of ya.
-->'''Chilled:''' (holding a camcorder) And I'll record the whole thing!
** Bardock jumps in and saves the good doctor, commenting on the conversation as he's snapping one of Chilled's mook's neck.
--->'''Bardock:''' I'm sorry I had to step in, but that was just getting obscene.
* There's one final rap reference, and it's a clever one. When Chilled attacks Twopock and injures him, Dray utters this line:
-->'''Dr. Dray:''' No, Twopock! Damn you... big... small guy!
** So the villain of the movie? [[TheNotoriousBIG Biggie Smalls]]. Hilarious if you remember that Tupac and Biggie were feuding with one another before their deaths.
* As it turns out, Bardock DOES hate one thing more then the past Saiyans...
-->'''Bardock:''' *upon seeing Chilled* Freeza? Freeza! *sees Chilled as Freeza* FREEEEZA! *punches Chilled*
** The dialogue between the two is hilarious.
--->'''Chilled:''' You wish to wrestle with the great Lord Chilled? [[CloudCuckoolander Yet you have not brought your own leotard?]] *stomps Bardock's head into the ground* [[CloudCuckoolander Worthless welp! YOU MAKE A MOCKERY OF WRESTLE WEDNESDAY! You see, they both start with W's. It's alliteration.]]
--->'''Bardock:''' *muffled* Freeza! FREEZA. *[[TheUnintelligible growling noises]]*
--->'''Chilled:''' [[RunningGag I don't know who this Freeza is, but he sounds like a classy lady.]]
** And after Dray attempts to help Bardock...
--->'''Chilled:''' These people seem to have a sincere affection for you. What is your secret?
--->'''Bardock:''' *muffled* Maybe because I don't look like a giant purple and orange tampon.
--->'''Chilled:''' *quickly* ''I have lost interest!'' *kicks Bardock away*
* Chilled's last decree to his men.
-->'''Chilled:''' Before I die... I have... one final decree. All of our most elite warriors must learn dance... choreography. *takes off breathing mask and leans up* Got... to... style... all over our opponents'... baaaaaaaaallllssss. *dies*
** Even more funny when you catch that it's a None Piece shout out.
* Even the post-death scene is funny.
-->'''Pineapple:''' Well, call it Blueberry.
-->'''Blueberry:''' Do I still have to call myself Blueberry?
-->'''Raisin:''' ''I'm'' going to keep calling you Blueberry.
-->'''Blueberry:''' SHUT UP RAISIN!
* Chilled's reaction to Bardock going Super Sayian, as well as that of the Past Sayians is pure genius.
-->'''Chilled:''' Oh i'm sorry, I only fight ''natural'' blondes.
-->'''Bardock:''' I... am the legendary Super Saiyan...
-->'''Sayians:''' Yay! We're all Super Saiyans!
-->'''Bardock:''' I will '''EAT YOU'''!
* The narrator in the beginning, who explains that Freeza destroying planet Vegeta should have been the end of Bardock... if not for a thing called [[TheMerch merchandising!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:DBZ Abridged - Specials]]
* The Halloween Special:
--> '''Professor:''' Well, what's your costume?\\
'''Popo:''' Oh, I'm not in costume. Yet. Hold on. ''[cut to clip of the Cloverfield monster, with Popo's maniacal laughter]''
* Four Words: Banana on a [[strike:tricycle]] unicycle.
** Heck, the entire FAQ is one big CMOF.
** The obnoxious [[WebVideo/GantzAbridged salaryman]]... er, fan. That is all.
--->'''Obnoxious Fan:''' Can I be Cutter?
--->'''Vegeta:''' No! Wait... who the hell is Cutter?
--->'''Obnoxious Fan:''' You guys suck! I'm going to go complain on my LiveJournal page.
--->'''Vegeta:''' Yes, I'm sure your mother reads it religiously.
** Also-
--->'''Obnoxious Fan:''' Can I be Oozaru?
--->'''Vegeta:''' [[NoIndoorVoice I DON'T KNOW! LET'S ASK HIM!]]
--->'''Oozaru:''' ROAR! (Fires blast of energy from his mouth at the Obnoxious Fan.)
--->'''Obnoxious Fan:''' ...Ow...
** Nappa answering the question of who writes and edits the show.
---> '''Nappa:''' The editing is done by Tigerkitty!
---> '''Vegeta:''' It's Kaiser Neko, Nappa!
---> '''Nappa:''' Kaiser Cat.
---> '''Vegeta:''' Neko!
---> '''Nappa:''' Meow! (pair of cat ears pops up on his head)
* The AWA special:
-->'''Nappa:''' Hey. Vegeta. Check out that cosplayer over there. They're hot!
-->'''Vegeta:''' Goddamnit Nappa, stop breaking the fourth... whoa, wow, she ''is'' hot.
-->'''Nappa:''' I'm talking about that guy over there! The [[Manga/DeathNote L]] cosplayer!
-->'''Vegeta:''' Nappa, that's just a guy in a white sweatshirt.
-->'''Nappa:''' Yeah, like I said. L.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Are you telling me that counts as a cosplay?
-->'''Nappa:''' Yep!
-->'''Vegeta:''' F***ing cop-out.
* In the middle of the Conneticon 2011 announcement.
--> '''Announcer:''' ...wait a minute, this is missing something. Hey Nappa, say something funny.
--> '''Nappa:''' My parents died in a tragic space accident when I was only a child. That's why I can never grow up.
--> '''Announcer:''' Ha ha, oh Nappa.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOqIngh_-_A&feature=feedu Nappa and the other bald characters' parody of Lady Gaga's Born This Way.]]
** After the music stops, some of the reactions are priceless:
--->'''Nappa:''' Tien, what are you doing?! That was your line!
--->'''Tien:''' Yeah, I'm not doing it.
--->'''Nappa:''' I thought we talked about this.
--->'''Tien:''' Yeah. ''You'' talked. I said no.
--->'''Nappa:''' Look. It took a long time to put this together. Piccolo's in the outfit!
--->'''Piccolo:''' ([[CallBack covered in plush Yoshis]]) I'm in the outfit.
--->'''Tien:''' ''That's because you have no friends.''
--->'''Piccolo:''' (stops smiling and [[InelegantBlubbering sobs offscreen]])
--->'''Nappa:''' [[WhatTheHellHero What the f***, Tien?]]
--->'''Krillin:''' Oh, geez!
--->'''Tien:''' I am. NOT. DOING. YOUR STUPID. SONG. PARODY.
--->'''Nappa:''' Why?!
--->'''Tien:''' F*** you, that's why.
* ''Anime/DragonBallKai Abridged'', the entirety of season 1 condensed into [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo5Rhn8zuPA two minutes and ten seconds of nonstop hilarity.]]
-->'''Goku:''' I have a kid.
-->'''Gohan:''' I'm socially awkward.
-->'''Krillin:''' He's adorable! [Blasted through a wall by Raditz. The [[RunningGag Krillin Owned Count]] rapidly rises before exploding.]
**
--->'''King Kai:''' I'm King Kai. You now know the Kaio-ken and the Spirit Bomb. F**k off. Shut up, Bojack.
**
--->'''Krillin:''' Yamcha's here! [Explosion] Yamcha's dead!
**
--->'''Vegeta:''' Hey Nappa. Let's go to Earth.
--->'''Nappa:''' Ballin'.
** The part where Nappa sums up his total reason for being;
--->'''Nappa:''' [[FountainOfMemes I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say.]]
** [[InvokedTrope Case]] [[FridgeLogic and]] [[FridgeBrilliance point]].
**
--->'''Goku::''' Goku's here!
--->'''Krillin:''' Goku's here!
--->'''Vegeta:''' It's [[OverNineThousand over nine thousaaaaaa-]]
--->'''Nappa:''' Aaaaaaaaaa- [Vegeta and Nappa continue to scream over each other until Vegeta blasts Nappa with an energy beam.]
--->'''Nappa:''' ''Vegeta why?!'' (as he is dying)
---> '''Vegeta:''' Because I'm a monkey! (transforms into the giant ape Ozaru).
**
--->'''Vegeta:''' Oh no, I'm not a monkey! Oh no, the kid's a monkey! Destructo Disk!
--->'''Krillin:''' The ''f*ck''?!//
** TheReveal that [[spoiler: [[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Yami Yugi]] had watched the whole thing.]]
--->'''[[spoiler: Yami Yugi]]:''' This has ''how'' many subscribers?
** [[DrillSergeantNasty Hi, maggots. I'm training you]]. [[BlackComedyRape I'm terrifying and a potential rapist, but I'll never say it flat out]]. ''[beat]'' [[JumpScare BAH]]!
*** [[BringMyBrownPants AAH]]!
* The Anime Evolution 2010 promo;
-->'''Guru:''' Nail... Naaaaaail!
-->'''Nail:''' What is it, Lord Guru?
-->'''Guru:''' Do you know what I love about Canada?
-->'''Nail:''' ...Sir, there's nothing to love about Canada.
-->'''Guru:''' Nail...
-->'''Nail:''' No, seriously, it's the only place more boring than here-
-->'''Guru:''' Nail! None of that.
-->'''Nail:''' (''Sighs'') What is that you love about Canada, sir?
-->'''Guru:''' I love... ''their moose!''
-->'''Moose:''' Hurr!
-->'''Nail:''' (''Makes a surprised yelp'')
* Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you: [[http://antfish.tumblr.com/post/36887800462/captain-ginyu-style "Captain Ginyu Style!"]]
* The video advertising upcoming episodes and new T-Shirts is hilarious with Nappa and Vegeta arguing over doing the commercial (Nappa wants him to do it, Vegeta doesn't). But, the real icing on the cake of hilarity is [[spoiler:Vegeta VS Alucard]] at the end.
* Takahata101 attending a ''Anime/DragonBallKai'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j2mBle5_JM panel at Sakura-Con]]:
-->'''Takahata''': Dragonball Kai is Dragonball Z essentially, right?
-->'''[[ChristopherSabat Chris Sabat]]''': You could say that.
-->'''Takahata''': It's shortened, correct?
-->'''Chris Sabat''': Right.
-->'''Takahata''': It's redubbed, right?
-->'''Chris Sabat''': In a way, yes.
-->'''Takahata''': It's partially rewritten, correct?
-->'''Chris Sabat''': It is completely rewritten, yes.
-->'''Takahata''' (Nappa voice): Way to be 4 years late to that party!
* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lR64fBXve3s&feature=youtu.be alternate takes of Krillin's death at the hands of Freeza.]]
-->'''Krillin''': YOLO! (boom)
-->'''Krillin''': [[ZeroWing Someone set me up the bomb!]] (boom)
-->'''Krillin''': I've heard of an explosive temper, but this is ridiculou-(boom)
-->'''Krillin''': Hey, guys! Look! It's my Chiaotzu impression! Goodbye, Tie-(boom)
* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYmp85jWksM alternate take from episode 30's ending.]]
--> '''Dr Briefs''': Finally, we're rid of all those dang ni-
--> '''Bulma''': [[CurseCutShort DAD!!!]]
--> '''Dr Briefs''': I was gonna say Namekians...
--> '''Bulma''': **Beat** ...No you weren't.
--> '''Dr Briefs''': No I wasn't.
* Moments from ''WebVideo/TwoSaiyansPlay'' [[Funny/TwoSaiyansPlay here]]
[[/folder]]
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