History Fanfic / BrewdeningLove

--> 1: [[BlatantLies Erin is a good Christian]].
--> 2: [[BlatantLies Erin's father is a horrible parent]].

** For those wondering, the "Stephenie Meyer" euphemism comes from the wordfilter on Twilight Sucks!, which... [[SoYeah yeah.]]

** It's reached the point where her spelling a three-letter word correctly is considered a sign of the apocaypse.

* DesignatedVillain: Brian.

* {{Narm}}

** For those wondering, the "Stephenie Meyer" euphemism comes from the wordfilter on Twilight Sucks!, which...yeah.

* BrownNote: [[SoBadItsHorrible Edward Secert.]] It's so bad that many veteran snarkers, including Kiva [Alastor] and Lady Phoenix, wouldn't touch it until a few others tested the waters, and the few who do brave it [[HeroicSociopath haven't been quite the same since...]]

* {{Crowning Moment of Awesome}}: [[BadassNormal Brian]] [[PyroManiac burning down Joan's house]], [[TakeThatScrappy then calling her out on her hypocracy]], and finishing off with uttering his unforgettable line, [[MemeticMutation "Because I am the FBI and I can."]] [[ManlyTears One tears up just thinking about it...]]

* WorseThanItSounds: [[TheMostDangerousGame Edward is the one being stalked this time around.]] Unfortunately, thanks to the writer being [[FanDumb a psychotic fangirl]], it is {{So Bad Its Horrible}}.

* YouShouldKnowThisAlready: It's ''[[{{Twilight}} Twilight's]]'' exact plot. [[BeyondTheImpossible except the leading lady is an even bigger]] MarySue.)

*** [[{{BeyondtheImpossible}} Now try to put it all together...]] Oh, and it's suppose to be [[{{Wallbanger}} TAKEN SERIOUSLY.]]

* UnreliableNarrator: [[AuthorAvatar Joan]], [[BeyondtheImpossible moreso than even Bella.]]

* YouShouldKnowThisAlready: It's ''[[{{Twilight}} Twilight's]]'' exact plot. [[BeyondtheImpossible except the leading lady is an even bigger]] MarySue.)

* {{And Now for Something Completely Different}}: Phoenix is gracious enough to do this at the end of every snark by usually providing an episode of [[{{YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries}} Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series]]. It usually serves as {{Brain Bleach}} for both herself and the audience.

* {{Crossover}}: In universe, {{Pokemon}} and {{Harry Potter}} characters have been spotted. In {{Fanon}}, many franchises have touched it, including {{Yu-Gi-Oh}}, {{Neon Genesis Evangelion}}, and {{Kamen Rider Decade}}- all of which, naturally, [[CrowningMomentofAwesome mess with the characters in some way.]]

* PlotMagnet: [[AuthorAvatar Joan's]] status as a {{Black Hole Sue}} naturally goes hand in hand with this.
* ProductPlacement: In her recent snarks, because she can't find any more [[{{YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries}} Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged]] episodes, Phoenix advertises her show.

* LoveDodecahedron: Oh boy... THIS is gonna be a [[{{understatement}} doozy.]] You might wanna write this down.

** Tropers/SkeksisGirl Skeksis]] When Erin brings up her antisemitism.

* {illainDecay: Wait, who is [[{{Twilight}} James]] again?

* LoveDodecahedron: Oh boy... THIS is gonna be a [[{{understatement}} doozy.]] You might wanna write this down

** Jenny was first in love with Jasper, who is Alice's Husband, who then for no reason became Emmet, who is Rosalie's Husband, and she also loves Jacob who if he story goes predictably... [[{{Squick}} will be in love with her spawn.]]

* Becca loves Jasper who is Alice's husband once again.

** Fanficion.net finally got wise to her reposting her hatefilled crap and FINALLY kicked the bitch of their site!

* ArchEnemy: [[{{Hatedom}} All of the snarkers,]] but especially [[{{Tropers.SkeksisGirl}} Skegs (SkeksisGirl)]], Bird (Phoenix), [[{{Tropers.PuzzleChick}} Pussle (PuzzleChick)]] and [[{{Tropers.EchoFiveSeven}} Halo Head (Echo Five Seven)]], who were all targetted in [[RevengeFic the revenge chapters.]]

* {{Awesome McCoolname}}: [[{{Tropers.EchoFiveSeven}} Halohead,]] the ultimate {{Insult Backfire}}.

** [[{{Tropers.PuzzleChick}} Puzzle Chick]] recently took a crack at it. In her own words, [[GoMadFromtheRevelation "I don't think my sanity survived. All I can do is walk around muttering about how it's not a crime to be gay and about how much I want to separate Erin's head from her body with a rusty chainsaw..."]]

* CausticCritic: Lady Phoenix/Phoenixangelgal/Bird, [[{{Tropers.SkeksisGirl}} SkeksisGirl]]/Skegs, [[{{Hatedom}} and pretty much everyone that reads her story.]]
* CharacterDerailment: None of the characters are even close to their {{Twilight}} counterparts anymore. [[BeyondtheImpossible Yes, she somehow took already flat characters and made them more flat.]]

** Firebird, [[{{Tropers.SkeksisGirl}} Skegs]], [[{{Tropers.PuzzleChick}} Pussle]], and Halohead, who are actually Lady Phoenix, [[{{Tropers.SkeksisGirl}} SkeksisGirl]], [[{{Tropers.PuzzleChick}} Puzzle Chick]], and [[{{Tropers.EchoFiveSeven}} Echo Five Seven]] from Twilight Sucks. Any of the other [[{{MST}} snarkers]] featured in the [[TakeThat revenge chapters]] also deserve credit.

** Jenny and Becca, thanks to Erin's [[AccidentalInnuendo unfortunate typos]] and Girls Love fanfiction written by many Twilight Sucks members, most notably [[{{Tropers.PuzzleChick}} Puzzle Chick]].

* RedOniBlueOni: [[{{Tropers.PuzzleChick}} Puzzle Chick]] tends to read the story LITERALLY and make fun of its spelling, Phoenix tends to focus more on the plot points. [[{{Tropers.SkeksisGirl}} Skeksis]] just tends to go after the blatant homophobia, hypocrisy, and Antisemitism. [[{{Tropers.ZeniTheWonder}} Lyra]] tends to heavily rely on pictures, but ocassionally pokes fun of typos or vent frustrations over Erin expecting others to root for her when she acts like a possessive, abusive jerk.

** Everyone who reviewed [[BrownNote Edward Secert]] experienced this, but a special mention goes to [[{{Tropers.PuzzleChick}} PuzzleChick]], [[{{Understatement}} who was not too pleased with Erin's feelings towards homosexuals.]] Her normal snarks also contain this whenever Erin [[YouFailSexEdForever fails sexs ed forever,]] as well.
** [[{{Tropers.SkeksisGirl}} Skeksis]] When Erin brings up her antisemitism.

Brewdening Love is an infamous {{Twilight}} fanfiction written by [[TheFundamentalist ultrareligious]] Erin Locklea, aka Erin of the Cullen Clan, and is another in the line of [[MyImmortal My Immortal]]-esque fanfics. It stars [[MarySue Mary Sue]] extraordinaire (specifically, she's a [[BlackHoleSue black hole]] {{Relationship Sue}}) [[OverlyLongName Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith]] and is so filled with [[RougeAnglesofSatin spelling errors]] that it might as well be in cuneiform.

* {{Aborted Arc}}: Many. For instance, [[WhatHappenedtotheMouse she never explains how Jacob escaped the vampires who were touching him]].

* [[AbusiveParents Abusive Parent]]: Inverted. Joan's dad is supposed to be an abusive alcholic, but he acts like a concerned parent. The one time he gets angry and shouts at her is because she slept over a boy he never met's house and never called him, and then had said boy in her bedroom.
* {{Acceptable Targets}}: Homosexuals, Jews, goths, anime fans, the Japanese, [[TakeThat her critics]], [[ShiptoShipCombat Team Jacob members]]... Heck, anyone except Erin herself. [[DudeNotFunny But only Erin seems to think so.]]
* {{Accidental Innuendo}}: [[ShmuckBait You don't want to know.]] There's a lot of it, though.
* {{Accusation Fic}}: Erin [[SelfInsertFic cast herself as the main character of]] {{Twilight}} because Bella, in her words, is "a dirte bithc."
** Ironically enough, Erin not only ocassionally writes her name instead of [[AuthorAvatar Joan]], but also switches her own name in favor of Bella's, especially in [[DudeNotFunny Edward Secert.]] [[CaptainObvious It's almost like she can't write any character but herself.]]

** The revenge chapters. [[XJustX Just the revenge chapters.]]

* {{Ambiguously Brown}}: Or should I say "Ambiguously Black?" After Erin's [[SarcasmMode "artistic"]] depiction of [[BlackBestFriend her friend Becca]], it's REALLY hard to tell exactly what race she is intended to be.

* {{Ambiguously Gay}}: [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] and [[FanNickname Hugo]]. [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Though after Erin made an entire chapter bashing the possibilities of them becoming a couple]], [[TransparentCloset you have to wonder...]]

* {{Arch Enemy}}: [[{{Hatedom}} All of the snarkers,]] but especially [[{{Tropers.SkeksisGirl}} Skegs (SkeksisGirl)]], Bird (Phoenix), [[{{Tropers.PuzzleChick}} Pussle (PuzzleChick)]] and [[{{Tropers.EchoFiveSeven}} Halo Head (Echo Five Seven)]], who were all targetted in [[RevengeFic the revenge chapters.]]
* {{Ascended Extra}}: [[BlackBestFriend Becca]], [[UnfortunateImplications but unlike Jenny she had to ask to be included]]. [[TooDumbToLive Though you have to wonder who would want to be in this story in the first place...]]

* {{Atomic F Bomb}}: [[{{Understatement}} She employs it often,]] [[DearNegativeReader especially against her critics.]]
* [[{{AttentionDeficitOohShiny}} Attention Deficit... Ooh, Ducks!]]: [[WallBanger "OK, SPECIAL NOTE! It's been a while sinse I wrote some of this so I forgot some things. Blame the ducks hahah!1"]]
* {{Attention Whore}}: Phoenix even keeps track of how often she tries this!

* {{Author Avatar}}: Joan. To the extent where the author mixes up their names on a regular basis.
* {{Author Tract}}: Erin doesn't have a story to tell, but rather [[{{Anvilicious}} messages to pound into your head.]]
* {{Awesome McCool Name}}: [[{{Tropers.EchoFiveSeven}} Halohead,]] the ultimate {{Insult Backfire}}.

* {{Badass Normal}}: Brian. He burns down [[MarySue Joan's]] house, [[TakeThatScrappy insults her]], and saves Joan's [[SarcasmMode "abusive"]] father from her. Why? [[MemeticMutation Because he is the FBI and he can!]]

* {{Big Lipped Alligator Moment}}: The [[TakeThat revenge chapters]] come right out of nowhere, and are never mentioned again. There are also many dropped arcs, including whether [[MarySue Joan]] chose [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward or Jacob.]]
* {{Big No}}: Too many to count.

* {{Bile Fascination}}: The only reason anyone reads this horrific piece of fan fiction... Hopefully.
* {{Black Best Friend}}: Becca, [[UnfortunateImplications but she doesn't get nearly as much attention as Jenny]].

* {{Black Hole Sue}}: Everything revolves around this bitch. EVERYTHING.
* {{Book Ends}}: [[OnceanEpisode Each chapter]] starts and ends with [[SmallNameBigEgo Erin]] [[DearNegativeReader insulting her haters]] and praising her (non-existant) fandom.
* {{Bratty Teenage Daughter}}: [[SarcasmMode Everyone's favorite heroine,]] [[MarySue Joan]].
* {{Brain Bleach}}: You probably need this after reading Edward's Secret, Chapter 36, or the "almost" sex scenes.

* {{Brown Note}}: [[SoBadItsHorrible Edward Secert.]] It's so bad that many veteran snarkers, including Kiva [Alastor] and Lady Phoenix, wouldn't touch it until a few others tested the waters, and the few who do brave it [[HeroicSociopath haven't been quite the same since...]]

* {{Canada Eh}}: The [[ChurchofHappyology cultists]] trying to sacrifice Jacob for a satanic ritual live in Canada. [[FlatWhat What.]]

* {{Caustic Critic}}: Lady Phoenix/Phoenixangelgal/Bird, [[{{Tropers.SkeksisGirl}} SkeksisGirl]]/Skegs, [[{{Hatedom}} and pretty much everyone that reads her story.]]
* {{Character Derailment}}: None of the characters are even close to their {{Twilight}} counterparts anymore. [[BeyondtheImpossible Yes, she somehow took already flat characters and made them more flat.]]
** A rare example of {{Tropes are Not Bad}}- Edward actually dumped Joan. [[AndtheFandomRejoiced Cue Cullen- Edward Cullen, that is.]]

* {{Comedic Sociopathy}}: When the Cullens are deciding how to deal with the traitorous Emmet back in Chapter 9, MC/Esme walks in with a batch of cookies.
* {{Cop Boyfriend}}: [[BadassNormal Brian.]] [[MyGirlisaSlut Joan]] shows interest in him [[ShallowLoveInterest because he is sexah,]] but [[FanPreferredCouple he is presumably dating Mr. Smith now.]]

* {{Costume Porn}}: For a supposedly devout Christian Eri- ...I mean Joan, spends an awful lot of time describing her clothes and her appearance in general.

* {{Damsel Scrappy}}: [[MarySue Joan]], [[RecycledINSPACE much like Bella]], is always getting into trouble so [[RelationshipSue Edward]] [[WhattheHellHero can save her.]] [[SarcasmMode What a strong female she is.]]
* {{Dating What Daddy Hates}}: [[MarySue Joan]], of course. [[GoodParents The poor guy deserves a better daughter...]]
* {{Dead Fic}}: Whatever happened to Twilight World? It disappeared after Chapter 2.

* {{Death is Cheap}}: Did your {{Shallow Love Interest}} just croak on you? [[WallBanger Just revive him, with the help of Christianity!]]
* {{Dear Negative Reader}}: "[=AShut=] up you stupid sinnr [[strike:[[UnusualEuphemism Stephenie Meyer]]]] bitch - YOUR PATHETIC NOT MI. Flaming mi as it is agenst Gods will, four peepole to hate is BAD. And if you do tyou not be aloud in Heathen. So NO FLAMING, CHOOSE LOVE." [[UnderStatement And many more.]]

* {{Designated Hero}}: [[MarySue Joan]], [[{{Jerkass}} and how.]]

** Erin claims that [[NewMediaareEvil "goth music" is evil]], and uses Evanescence as an example. Amy Lee, one of the singers in the band, is Christian.
*** This sparked a rant from Lady Phoenix pointing out how dumb this assumption is, using [[AtoptheFourthWall Linkara's review of "Batman Fortunate Son"]] to show [[TooDumbToLive just how moronic this accusation is.]]
* {{Didnt See That Coming}}: [[AndtheFandomRejoiced Edward breaking up with Joan.]] [[DethroningMomentofSuck It's too bad he lost his newly found love from the fandom thanks to Edward Secert and Edwards Birthday making him Erin's little tool again.]]
* {{Die For Our Ship}}: [[{{Yandere}} Don't get between Edward and Joan/Erin. It won't be pretty.]]
* {{Disproportionate Retribution}}: If [[MarySue Joan]] tries to steal [[FanNickname Jay]] from Jenny, she is instantly forgiven the moment she crawls back to [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]]. If Jenny tries to steal [[FanNickname Ward]] from [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]], she gets [[ArmorPiercingSlap slapped]] and shunned. Tana suffers from this as well.

* {{Dont Like Dont Read}}: A popular chapter beginning for her, right along with [[DearNegativeReader SRSLY STOP FLAMMING! You heethans I mean seriously!]]

* {{Drinking Game}}: [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DrinkingGame/BrewdeningLove Behold mortals,]] the quickest way to get alcohol poisoning ever created by man.
* {{Dude Not Funny}}: Edward Secert. [[XJustX Just Edward Secert.]]
* {{Easy Evangelism}}: Not quite. The people were already either "Christina" or not. It's just the sheer numbers and how they're all apparently part of the same uber-fundamentalist denomination that makes it fit this trope. Dude, the good-versus-evil lines are explicitly who's "Christn".
* {{Ensemble Darkhorse}}: Brian and Joan's dad, to the point where [[FanPreferredCouple their relationship]] is more often discussed amongst the [[{{Hatedom}} fandom]] than the one between [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] and [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]].

* {{Family Unfriendly Aesop}}: Hey kids! It's okay to be a hypocritical antisemitic whore as long as you pay lip service to God! Also, if anyone criticizes you and actually gives you damn good advice... THEY ARE A SINNER!!!

** [[SpinOff Truelove Fight]] does a similar- [[{{Anvilicious}} but much more blatant]]- message with {{Pokemon}}. She tries to kill [[KillerRabbit Pokemon such as Pikachu]] [[InformedFlaw because they serve Satan.]]
*** [[DidNotDotheResearch She fails to realize that Pokemon encourages friendship, and for good to triumph over evil. The anime even had a few CHRISTMAS specials!]] {{Twilight}} and Erin's stories, on the other hand, [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop encourage stalking, judging people on their appearance, and being overly dependent, among other morals.]]

* {{Fan Disservice}}: [[SoBadItsHorrible Edward Secert]], and ANY time Erin tries an "almost" sexy scene with Edward.

* {{Fan Nickname}}: Mr. Smith was "Officially" named [[{{TheMatrix}} Hugo]] on [[http://www.twilightsucks.com/forum/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=75&t=8451 this glorious thread]].

* {{Fannage}}: Just compare the size of this page to the size of other {{My Immortal}} wannabes.
* {{Fan Preferred Couple}}: [[FanNickname Hugo]]/[[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]].

* {{The Fundamentalist}}: JOAN. [[AuthorAvatar And the author herself.]]
* {{God Mode Sue}}: [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] in [[SpinOff Twilight World/Bible]], who is made "The Queen of Christianity," [[SarcasmMode because we all know how much of a good Christian she is.]]
* {{Green Eyed Monster}}: [[MarySue Joan]] whenever anyone is near [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward.]] [[{{Hypocrite}} Wait- isn't envy one of the]] {{Seven Deadly Sins}}?

* {{Harmless Villain}}: The villains barely do anything. Even when they are caught in the act of doing something terrible, [[AbortedArc it is completely forgotten next chapter.]] [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] seems to try, but even then he is only doing what he does [[MemeticMutation because he is the FBI and he can.]] Hilariously enough, the most villain-like character in the story is [[AuthorAvatar JOAN.]]

** In fact, [[CrowningMomentofAwesome it is considered awesome to be included in a revenge chapter or on the "Not Nice Person List."]]

* [[{{HideYourLesbians}} Hide Brian and Hugo]]: [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Deny it all you want, Erin.]] [[FanPreferredCouple Those 2 were made for each other]].
* {{Holier Than Thou}}: [[TheFundamentalist Erin]]. She's probably one of the few authors to [[LiteralMinded LITERALLY]] [[WordofGod put words in God's mouth]] and [[GodModeSue even marries God]] in [[SpinOff Twilight World/Bible.]]
* {{Hot Dad}}: [[FanNickname Hugo]], or at least according to the [[{{Hatedom}} fanbase]].
* {{Ho Yay}}: [[MarySue Joan]] wants to be [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward's]] [[FlatWhat boyfriend]]. There is also much of this between [[FanPreferredCouple Mr. Smith and Brian]].

** Dressing like a slut and heading to the [[{{Twilight}} Volturi]] to seduce them to force Edward to marry her and kill her best friend? Yes... [[{{Sarcasmmode}}Joan is SUCH a good christian.]]

* {{Idiot Plot}}: Let's face it, this is Erin [[ADateWithRosiePalms masturbating]] over [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]], nothing more.

* {{I Got Better}}: Emmet was supposedly {{Killed Off for Real}} in Chapter 9... [[DeathisCheap only to be revived in Chapter 13]].
* {{I Shall Taunt You}}: [[SincerityMode God bless the]] {{Hatedom}}.
* {{Inaction Sequence}}: Let's face it- after 30+ chapters, [[{{MarySue}} Joan]] and [[RelationshipSue Edward]] [[NoSexAllowed are still virgins]] and still unmarried. [[AssPull Any sort of action she TRIES to create]] [[AbortedArc is dropped,]] thus leaving us back where we started: [[{{Lust}} Joan cockteasing Edward]] [[ADateWithRosiePalms and masturbating over him.]]

* {{Informed Flaw}}: Erin keeps saying how her father is an abusive alcoholic. But we never see it.

* {{It Got Worse}}: At first glance Brewdening Love looks like a typical over-the-top Mary Suefic with bad spelling. Then comes the homophobia, racism, intolerance of other religions, ageism and praying for flamers to die along with [[{{Dearnegativereader}} revenge chapters]] and... well, [[{{Beyondtheimpossible}} it definitely got worse.]]
* {{Jerkass}}: [[MarySue Joan]] [[SelfInsertFic and by extension Erin]].
* {{Jerk Sue}}: Joan. [[PrecisionFStrike Freaking]] Joan.
* {{Jesus}} : He appears in a couple of later chapters and [[WhatTheHellHero saves Joan's life once]]. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer No, really.]]

* {{Killer Rabbit}}: [[{{Pokemon}} Pikachu]] is apparently working for {{Satan}} and supposedly [[InformedFlaw possesses people]].
* {{Kill it With Fire}}: [[SoBadItsHorrible The entire fic and its]] [[SpinOff spawn.]] [[CrowningMomentofAwesome Brian helps it along by setting a jail cell and Joan's house on fire.]]
* {{Lampshade Hanging}}: Phoenix does this when she points out that [[{{Ourvampiresaredifferent}} "Christian Vampires"]] is just about impossible... especially TWILIGHT vampires. [[{{Imahumanitarian}} "Devouring the blood of a human being is NOT Christian you damn fool! And do you realize he wants to eat you?]]
** [[{{UnfortunateImplications}} Eat = Kill You + Devour Your Body/Devour Your Bodily Fluids Until You’re a Dry Husk"]]

* {{Les Yay}}: [[HaveIMentionedThatIamHeterosexualToday Erin luvs u Jenny, but no homo k?]]
* {{The Libby}}: [[SubvertedTrope Subverted.]] Tana from [[SpinOff Edwards Birthday]] is portrayed as this, but [[{{Hypocrite}} Joan shows more signs of it.]]

* {{Memetic Mutation}}: From the Twilight Sucks fic-sporking thread linked in the summary: JENNY WAS THE WINDOW!

* {{Misaimed Fandom}}: Most of her [[{{Fandumb}} "fans"]] are actually [[{{Hatedom}} haters]] or trolls. Also, [[FanPreferredCouple Brian x Hugo,]] a couple [[TheFundamentalist Erin]] loathes, is hugely popular, whereas [[OfficialCouple Edward x Joan]] [[{{Understatement}} isn't really a fan favorite]].
* {{Missing Mom}}: Where exactly is Mrs. Smith anyway? Has she ever been mentioned?

* {{Moment Killer}}: Edward gets cockblocked not one, not twice, but THREE TIMES! And two of them in the SAME CHAPTER.
* {{Mood Swinger}}: Erin herself. To quote Chapter 2:

* {{Moral Event Horizon}}: Erin/[[AuthorAvatar Joan]], though {{Your Mileage May Vary}} on the exact moment. Some say [[DearNegativeReader the moment she reacted to critics]], others say [[TakeThat the revenge chapters]], others claim [[{{Yandere}} chapter 37]], and still a few say [[DudeNotFunny Edwards Secert]]. Some even think [[CompleteMonster she's crossed it multiple times.]]

* {{Neon Sign Hideout}}: What were the "[[{{Twilight}} Volturi]] [[TheMafia Mafia]]" [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeonDrugs smoking]] when the used The Seven Wonders of the World to decorate their hideout?
* {{Nightmare Fuel}}: The "Popestick." You'll never want to get on the Pope's bad side again.

* {{No Sex Allowed}}: [[MyGirlisaSlut Even though Joan clearly wants it.]]

** Author notes inside the story itself! [[{{Berserkbutton}} MAKE IT STOP!!!]]

* [[OurVampiresareDifferent Our]] [[RougeAnglesofSatin Vampites]] [[OurVampiresareDifferent are Different]]: Not only do they [[BishieSparkle sparkle]], but they're [[TheFundamentalist extremist Christians that rival even Erin]], [[DidNotDotheResearch even though vampires are supposed to be weakened by anything related to Christianity.]]
* {{Overly Long Name}}: What kind of self respecting {{Mary Sue}} would Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith be if she didn't have one of these?
* {{Over Protective Dad}}: Mr. Smith, but only Erin thinks so. [[GoodParents The readers disagree, and say he is only looking out for her safety.]]
* {{Perverse Sexual Lust}}: It's safe to say after [[SpinOff Edward's Birthday]] that her life completely revolves around [[ShallowLoveInterest this guy]], [[WordofGod especially if you have read her journal.]]
* {{Plot Magnet}}: [[AuthorAvatar Joan's]] status as a {{Black Hole Sue}} naturally goes hand in hand with this.
* {{Product Placement}}: In her recent snarks, because she can't find any more [[{{YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries}} Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged]] episodes, Phoenix advertises her show.
* {{Pyro Maniac}}: [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]].

* {{Red Oni Blue Oni}}: [[{{Tropers.PuzzleChick}} Puzzle Chick]] tends to read the story LITERALLY and make fun of its spelling, Phoenix tends to focus more on the plot points. [[{{Tropers.SkeksisGirl}} Skeksis]] just tends to go after the blatant homophobia, hypocrisy, and Antisemitism. [[{{Tropers.ZeniTheWonder}} Lyra]] tends to heavily rely on pictures, but ocassionally pokes fun of typos or vent frustrations over Erin expecting others to root for her when she acts like a possessive, abusive jerk.

* {{Relationship Sue}}: [[ShallowLoveInterest Joan's entire reason]] for being is to hook up with Edward.

* {{Revenge Before Reason}}: Erin often [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment veers her story way off course]] just to [[WriterOnBoard make a statement]] or [[TakeThat bash her critics.]]
* {{Revenge Fic}}: Two chapters [[TakeThat dedicated to her critics]], one [[HaveIMentionedThatIamHeterosexualToday lashing out at Brian x Hugo shippers]], and one short story [[DudeNotFunny bashing gays in general due to her critics telling her to grow more tolerant.]]

* {{Sanity Slippage Song}}: In her snarks, Phoenix used "They're Coming to Take Me Away" for Erin in Chapter 6 and her own remake of the [[AngryVideoGameNerd "Angry Videogame Nerd" theme song]] where [[SoBadItsGood she reviews bad fan fiction as a joke.]]
* {{The Scapegoat}}: Jacob becomes this when [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] decides it is better to not risk the damnation of his soul by having some other guy kill James, [[SarcasmMode because the Bible says a good Christian damns innocent souls]]... [[{{Lampshaded}} Oh wait, NO IT DOESN'T!]]

* {{Schoolgirl Lesbians}}: [[MarySue Joan]], [[TheWesley Jenny]], and [[BlackBestFriend Becca]] arguably have more chemistry together than with their [[ShallowLoveInterest boyfriends]].

* {{Screw Yourself}}: [[MarySue Joan]] is an {{Author Avatar}} for Erin. And Erin [[CostumePorn spends an awful lot of time describing Joan's "sex-ahness."]] [[FreudwasRight Hmmm...]]
* {{Self Insert Fic}}: If [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] ain't a [[RelationshipSue Mary-Sueified Erin]], I'll make out with an Edward poster.
* {{Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness}}: This happens to one of the snarkers when she's trying to figure out the whole Edward/Erin/Jacob/Jenny/Emmet/Jasper (To Jenny)/Becca love... um... there's no shape to describe this, she was given the obligatory "Get On With It" gag for over thinking the romance.
* {{Seven Deadly Sins}}: Despite claiming to be [[TheFundamentalist Christian]], [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] and [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] [[{{Hypocrite}} have broken all seven at one point or another.]]

* {{Shallow Love Interest}}: Why do Joan and Edward like each other again? Other than the whole "hawt" thing?

* {{Soap Opera}}: [[{{Futurama}} All My Circuits]] is better than this.

* {{So Bad Its Horrible}}: [[DethroningMomentofSuck Many parts]], but most notably [[DudeNotFunny Edward Secert]].

* {{Spin Off}}: Twilight World! Erin rewrites the Bible making herself the [[{{Godmodesue}} Queen of Christianity]], [[UnfortunateImplications eliminates the Jewish religion all together]], [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever gives birth to JESUS]], and marries [[{{Twilight}} God]] (Edward) himself. [[{{SarcasmMode}} But she doesn't commit ANY sin...]]

* [[{{StupidestThingIveEverHeard}} Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard]]: [[SmallNameBigEgo Erin]] being dumped the first time by [[RelationshipSue Edward]] [[WallBanger "for being too sexy."]]

* {{Suspiciously Specific Denial}}: From Chapter 36:

* {{Teens are Monsters}}: JOAN. [[AuthorAvatar And ESPECIALLY the author herself.]]
* {{Take That}}: Erin tried this against the people who [[{{MST}} sporked]] her fic, twice. Chapters 17 and 30 were dedicated entirely to mocking the sporkers. It merely drew laughter and even more mockery both times, and even caused a few minor memes.

* {{There Can Only Be One}}(Sorry for associating this [[SoBadItsHorrible crap]] with {{Highlander}}): Erin feels the need to [[DieForOurShip KILL]] any other competition for [[RelationshipSue Edward]]. Her victims include Bella, Tana, and Jenny.
** [[{{Tropers.SkeksisGirl}} I]] [[{{Berserk Button}} am going to hunt you down for this...]]
* {{Thirty Sue Pileup}}: Until recently, every good character was a {{Mary Sue}} or {{Gary Stu}}. Now, only [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] is.
* {{This is Gonna Suck}}: Just the [[RougeAnglesofSatin misspelled beyond repair]] title should warn you of [[SoBadItsHorrible the quality of this fic.]]
* {{This is Wrong on So Many Levels}}: Erin [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever making incorrect interpretations of Bible quotes]] [[WallBanger and even making up her own Bible quotes.]]

* {{Troll Fic}}: [[PoesLaw effectively...]]
* {{Unreliable Narrator}}: [[AuthorAvatar Joan]], [[BeyondtheImpossible moreso than even Bella.]]

* {{Villain Decay}}: Wait, who is [[{{Twilight}} James]] again?

* {{The Wesley}}: Jenny is almost as bad as [[MarySue her friend]]... [[TheWoobie until Chapter 37, that is.]]
* {{What Do You Mean It Wasnt Made on Drugs}}: [[NightmareFuel The Popestick]], [[WhattheHellHero Jesus saving Joan]], [[DeathisCheap Emmett's Satanic revival]]... The list goes on and on.

* {{The Woobie}}: Jenny, who nearly had her boyfriend stolen by [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]] and got [[ArmorPiercingSlap smacked]] for supposedly wanting to steal [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]]. [[GoodParents Mr. Smith]] could count too, considering he is supposedly [[AbusiveParents abusive]], but seems to be a nice guy who has to put up with [[MarySue Joany Sue's]] behavior.

*** [[GoodParents Hugo]]... Poor Hugo. He is accused of being [[INeedAFreakingDrink an alcoholic]], [[AbusiveParents abusive]], [[WhenYouComingHomeDad too busy to see his daughter]], and an {{Overprotective Dad}}, when in fact [[GoodParents he is shown to be caring, hardworking but still having time for his daughter, and only concerned for her safety]]. [[FanPreferredCouple He is also kept from the love of his life, Brian.]]
** Tana from [[SpinOff Edwards Birthday.]] She compliments [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] one time, and gets [[ArmorPiercingSlap slapped]], [[MyGirlisaSlut called a slut]], and [[MoralEventHorizon punched in the stomach by Edward.]]
* {{Worse Than it Sounds}}: [[TheMostDangerousGame Edward is the one being stalked this time around.]] Unfortunately, thanks to the writer being [[FanDumb a psychotic fangirl]], it is {{So Bad Its Horrible}}.

* {{Writer On Board}}: Erin's [[TheFundamentalist beliefs]] and [[RevengeBeforeReason statements]] direct the plot.
* {{Write Who You Know}}: Eri- [[AuthorAvatar I mean, Joan,]] Jenny, [[BlackBestFriend Becca]], and Father Holden.

** Tana may be based off someone in real life, possibly another {{Twilight}} fan who treats Erin harshly (with justification, of course) and also loves Edward.
*** It's possible that "Tana" is actually [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "Tanya", an actual character from]] {{Twilight}} [[JustFriends who is a friend of Edward's.]]

** [[{{XJustX}} Erin, just Erin.]]
* {{You Bastard}}: Anyone who criticizes her work is (in her eyes) an evil [[strike:sinner]] sinnar, resulting in her [[{{Hypocrite}} praying for God to kill them]].
* {{You Fail Geography Forever}}: [[CanadaEh Canada]] can be searched in its entirety in twenty minutes, and you can drive from Washington to Italy. [[FridgeLogic Can Joan's car fly?]]

* {{You Fail Logic Forever}}: [[TheFundamentalist Erin]]. If you've made it this far on the page, [[SelfExplanatory you probably already have the gist of it.]]
* {{You Fail Religious Studies Forever}}: [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop Don't worry kids- no matter how badly you sin, you will be forgiven as long as you are sexy and Christian! But if you aren't either, BURN IN HELL!]]
** Erin likes to quote from the Bible, but doesn't know what some of the lines really mean (She thought "kick against the pricks" was a way of saying [[{{Completelymissingthepoint}} "getting back at trolls"]] when it really means "having guilt dig into you more deeply"). [[{{Hypocrite}} She also likes to make up her own quotes,]] [[{{Sarcasmmode}} which shows just how well she's following the Lord's teachings.]]

* {{You Fail Sex Ed Forever}}: [[WallBanger People become homosexual simply by looking at each other and "gaying" themselves up.]]

* {{Youre Just Jealous}} She eventually resorts to this in later chapters to get at all those "heethen sinnrs."
* {{You Shall Not Pass}}: [[DearNegativeReader "NO SINNARS ALLUWED TO READ IT OK. BECOISE THEY DON'T FALLOW THE LORDS WEIGHTS AND HIS TEECHINGS AND THEY AR TYING TO BRING THE DEVAL INTO MY LIF!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111"]]
* {{You Should Know This Already}}: It's [[{{Twilight}} Twilight's]] exact plot. [[BeyondtheImpossible except the leading lady is an even bigger]] {{Mary Sue}}.)

* {{Would Hit a Girl}}: In Chapter 37, Joan hit Jenny because she thought she was going to steal [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] despite never even hinting at it. And we're supposed to sympathize with [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]]. {{So yeah}}.

{{Fan Disservice}}: [[SoBadItsHorrible Edward Secert]], and ANY time Erin tries an "almost" sexy scene with Edward.

* {{Cath Phrase}}: [[SoBadItsGood Sexah and sinnah.]]

* {{Ambiguously Brown}}: Ambiguously Brown: Or should I say "Ambiguously Black?" After Erin's [[SarcasmMode"artistic"]] depiction of [[BlackBestFriend her friend Becca]], it's REALLY hard to tell exactly what race she is intended to be.
** To clarify: [[UnfortunateImplications Erin first drew her literally the color black]], [[ArtEvolution but her more recent picture has her the normal skin color for African Americans.]]