-> "ok hello everyone I want to let you knwo that I'm the BIGGEST Twilight ever! I've read all the boks and seen da movie -OMFG isn't Cullin HAWT. So hot. ok now iv writon a storie about wut wold happen id I were bella1 Because shes a dirte bithc so i want you to see it and tel moi what you think!! So LOTS OF REVOWS PLZ! lov you God xoxoxoxo"
--> The beginning of [[http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/art/Brewdening-Love-137395427 Brewdening Love]]. [[FromBadToWorse And it's all downhill from there.]]

[[caption-width-right:332:True love, indeed.]]

''Brewdening Love'' is an infamous ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' fanfiction written by Erin Locklea, aka Erin of the Cullen Clan, and is another in the line of ''MyImmortal''-esque fanfics. It stars the MarySue (specifically, she's a [[BlackHoleSue Black Hole]] RelationshipSue) [[OverlyLongName Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith]] and is so filled with [[RougeAnglesofSatin spelling errors]] that it might as well be in cuneiform.

The story begins with Joan walking into her English class and suddenly noticing a boy named [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward]] (Edwerd, Edwad, Ward, etc.) whom she thinks looks like a god ([[ExactWords not god God because I luv god and thats blamsphemi, so fuc off sinars]]). After giving a [[CostumePorn long description of herself]], she tries to flirt with him but he ignores her. Because he's incredibly sex-ah, she forgives him and decides that, because he is so hot, she wants to be his boyfriend. Yes, [[ThatCameOutWrong boyfriend]].

Edward continues to ignore her and she continues to [[StalkerWithACrush stalk]] [[StalkingIsLove him]], going so far as to chase him into the school car lot with him screaming at her to go away. While she contemplates horrid thought that maybe he doesn't like her, [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything a bus appears out of nowhere and almost hits her]]. To the readers' dismay and chagrin, it does not flatten her; instead, a mysterious somebody who she thinks was Edward because "there wore amba eyes glisening in the doost!" saves her in the nick of time. She confronts him later and they magically fall in love.

But trouble is on the horizon as it is revealed that Edward is a VAMPTRE! As a devout Chrisnt, Joan is worried. And that bit of potential conflict is shoved in the closet when Edward says that he is a "christina vampite" and therefore okay for her to date. Yeah.

The gripping epic follows their twu wuv as Erin encounters the rest of the Cullens, the problem vamtpie Jhams, [[CriticalResearchFailure and searches the entire country of]] [[CanadaEh Canada]] [[YouFailGeographyForever in twenty minutes]]. ''Damn'', that Volvo is fast.

Ousted off of fanfiction.net for its spelling, grammar, and UnfortunateImplications [[http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/ here]].

Now has an ExpandedUniverse -- see [[FanFic/BrewdeningLoveExpandedUniverse here]].

!!''Brewdening Love'' contains examples of:

* AbortedArc: Some of the chapters start off at completely different places than where the last ones began. This has become more common recently.
-->'''Erin:''' Blame the ducks hahah!1
* TheAlcoholic: Mr. Smith.
* AscendedExtra: Becca, seemingly a background character based on the author's friend, has been given a bigger role in the story.
* AsTheGoodBookSays: Erin tries to preach every biblical message she can think of and even called the first chapter "Genesis". Unfortunately, this leads to misinterpretation and even to her making up quotes that she uses to bash flamers.
* AuthorTract: A lot of it. If there's something out there that goes against the Bible, Erin ''will'' go out of her way to say it's wrong.
* BackFromTheDead: Emmett was killed, [[DeathIsCheap then revived...]] [[FridgeLogic but if he's a vampire, isn't he already dead?]]
* BlackBestFriend: Becca. [[http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/art/My-friend-Becca-141603849 Oddly]], Erin actually colored her skin the literal color black, not the skin tone, until [[http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/art/BF4L-171994957 a later drawing]].
** Erin claims she's literally black because she's a "maury". It's not clear whether she's attempting to say "moor" or "Maori".
*** In the comments of the first picture Erin says she's a "New Zealand Mouri", so I guess that settles it.
* BreakingTheFourthWall: Chapter 37 was almost entirely centered on [[ShipSinking killing off]] the Brian x Hugo fanbase. Also, the revenge chapters, which literally put the critics into the story so they can be killed.
* CanadaEh: The [[ChurchofHappyology cultists]] who try to sacrifice Jacob for a satanic ritual live in Canada. [[PyroManiac Brian]] also moved from there. It's worth mentioning that Erin seems to think it's a city, not a country:
--> "Yesterday, " said brian. I moved hear frome Canada. Canada is a batter citey then Forks [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe thou]]." He told us.
* ComedicSociopathy: When the Cullens are deciding how to deal with the traitorous Emmett back in Chapter 9, MC/Esme walks in with a batch of cookies.
* ComicBookAdaptation: The [[RougeAnglesofSatin gafic noval]].
* CostumePorn: Even in the scenes where Joan is depressed, she feels the need to describe everything she's wearing.
* {{Crossover}}: In the spin-offs, ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'' and ''Literature/HarryPotter'' characters have shown up.
* CureYourGays: The entire point behind ''Edwards Secert'', along with several quotes from ''Brewdening Love'' itself ("Luv u Jenny, no homo" "Guys can love each other but not in the a--" "...That time my sister lied that she was gay and had to go to camp." "the VOLTIRE COUD HALP ME!!! AND THEY COLD KULL BRIAN SO THAT SINNARS WOOD STOP MAKING MY CHARROTERS GAYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1").
* DatingWhatDaddyHates: Mr. Smith doesn't seem to approve of Joan dating Edward, but so far he hasn't actively done anything to put a stop to it.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment
-->But then I heard a noise, like a bus comming towards me. I looked around and saw...................................................................................A BIG BUS CUMING AT ME!1111
* DiminishingVillainThreat: Wait, who is [[Literature/{{Twilight}} James]] again?
* DoubleEntendre: Right after the bus comes to a halt merely inches from Joan's face, her friend Jenny seems to be a little bit too happy that her friend is safe.
-->Jenny was creaming at me but I couldn’t here her probably.
* EasyEvangelism: Jacob converts to and supports Christianity in under a day.
* FemaleMisogynist: Author Erin Locklea is this.
* {{Fingore}}: In ''[[SpinOff Edwards Secert]]'', you have to either cut off your own finger [[BuryYourGays or die]] in order to [[CureYourGays cure]] homosexuality.
* TheFundamentalist: Joan. [[UnfortunateImplications She's supposed to be an "ideal Christian".]]
* GreenEyedMonster: Joan, when anyone is around Edward.
* HateFic: The SpinOff ''Truelove Fight'' is this to Franchise/{{Pokemon}}.
* HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday: "I luv u, but no homo k?"
* KillItWithFire: [[PyroManiac Brian's main strategy]].
* LoveDodecahedron: In case anyone would like to keep track, [[http://i38.tinypic.com/dwx7nq.jpg this is what it currently looks like.]]
* {{Machinima}}: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-H5fzXxs8hg&index=1&list=PL4gt81gOBFeVMPaMZqAg_OElCWsrSAC2D Here]].
* MissingMom: Joan's mom never shows up, nor is she ever mentioned. Joan does, however, apparently have a sister who is a lesbian and was sent to [[CureYourGays "camp"]].
* {{MST}}: The [=TwilightSucks=] forums have [[http://www.tsdcv3.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=twilightfics&action=display&thread=1519&page=1 a whole archive of them]]. The author herself wrote two RevengeFic chapters against the snarkers after reading them, casting them as evil, devil-worshiping vampires.
* MurderTheHypotenuse: Joan wants to kill Jenny so she can have Edward all to herself. [[SarcasmMode What a great friend Joan is.]]
* NeonSignHideout: What were the "[[TheMafia Volturi Mafia]]" [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs smoking]] when they used the seven wonders of the world to decorate their hideout?
* NoSexAllowed: Even though Joan clearly wants it.
* OverlyLongName: What kind of self-respecting MarySue would Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith be if she didn't have one of these?
* PyroManiac: Brian.
* RevengeFic: Four chapters of ''Brewdening Love'' attack actual internet users (two for the snarkers and two for trolls impersonating her friends), chapter 37 attacks Brian x Hugo shippers, and ''Edwards Secret'' attacks gays in general.
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: The whole fic is full of this. Even the title is spelled wrong!
* SelfInsertFic: Erin admits in the first chapter that this is what Twilight would be like if she were Bella. She has tried to deny it a few times since, but judging by how many times their names get mixed up...
* SatelliteLoveInterest: Why do Joan and Edward like each other again, other than the whole "hawt" thing?
* SpinOff: There are five of them.
** ''Twilight World'': A crossover with the Bible, [[ArtisticLicenseReligion except with Twilight characters instead of the real characters]]. Formerly called ''Twilight Bible''.
** ''Bellas Baby'': A one-shot in which Bella is pregnant with James' demon child and has to get an abortion from [[Literature/HarryPotter Professor McGonagall]]. Was lost forever, can now be found [[http://brewdeninglove.freeiz.com/favorites.htm here.]]
** ''Truelove Fight'': Another crossover, only [[HateFic in bad spirits]]. This one has Edward hunting and killing Franchise/{{Pokemon}} because [[InsaneTrollLogic Pikachu's ears resemble devil horns]].
** ''Edwards Birthday'': A one-shot meant to support the Joan x Edward pairing. It has a character named Tana (possibly the canon character Tanya) who tries to get with Edward to [[{{Yandere}} disastrous results]].
** ''Edwards Secert'': A rightly loathed one-shot where Edward and Jacob become gay for each other and a RoaringRampageOfRevenge is launched against Jacob when he refuses to [[{{Fingore}} cut off one of his own fingers]] as a means of repentance.
* StalkerWithACrush: Joan follows Edward around when she first decides that he's "sex-ah". It gets so bad that he has to flee into a parking lot while she's chasing him, which is when she finally gets the idea that he may not like her.
* TrollFic: [[PoesLaw It could easily be this.]]
* WouldHitAGirl: In chapter 28, [[MemeticBadass Brian]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome punches Joan]], with his reason being "Because I am the FBI and I can."
*** A line which has since become an AscendedMeme.
* {{Yandere}}: Joan.