History DarthWiki / UselessNotes

* On the other end of the spectrum, Japanese martial artists fight by telling their life stories and [[ExplainingYourPowerToTheEnemy explaining how each and every one of their attacks work]] [[{{Padding}} at great length]]. Well, they do throw a punch or two, but in the end, victory usually goes to the first one to [[InactionSequence bore his opponent to death]].

** Also Spaceship Earth and Cinderella's castle [[TheEiffelTowerEffect can be seen from anywhere.]]

* You can see the Eiffel Tower [[TheEiffelTowerEffect out of every window in France no matter where you are or which way you are facing]]. And France is basically just Paris.

* [[Film/{{Anonymous}} The Tudor Rose is a real flower]].

* [[Film/BillAndTed All we are, is dust in the wind, dude.]]

* [[Film/BillAndTed Napoleon was a short, dead dude. Ceasar was a salad dressing dude. And Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.]]

* Anything recorded [[SeinfeldIsUnfunny more than five years before your birth]] or [[NostalgiaFilter after you've turned 25]] is crap not worth listening to.

* Human meat is apparently like cat nip to Tyrannosaurs. Whenever they meet time-traveling humans or are cloned in modern times, they're likely to [[GangUpOnTheHuman pass up even a Triceratops carcass just to chase and devour a human]].

* All Britons [[IAmVeryBritish strive to imitate a toff every time they speak]]. Their diet consists solely of [[BritsLoveTea tea, crumpets]] and roast beef, they have poor [[BritishTeeth oral hygiene]] and consider [[BritishBrevity three television episodes a complete series]]. Everyone in Britain either is a butler, or has a butler (occasionally both). The traditional forms of British entertainment are cricket, fox hunting and complaining about foreigners. With the exception of their young women and the occasional [[QuintessentialBritishGentleman man]], they're [[EvilBrit all evil]], but at least they're not as evil as their [[Film/ThePatriot Nazi-like ancestors]]. It rains in Britain, every single day.

* [[Film/BackToTheFuture 1.21 Gigawatts of plutonium is enough to send a car 30 years into the past if it is driving at 88 MPH and gets struck by lightning.]]

** [[AlwaysChaoticEvil All Arabs and Muslims are]] [[MiddleEasternTerrorists terrorists]], just like Creator/FoxNews has told you.

* [[VideoGame/{{Kirby}} Tomatoes cure all wounds]]. [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog And injuries can be prevented]] [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney by gold]].

* [[UsefulNotes/TheGreatVideoGameCrashOf1983 The global video game industry was utterly destroyed in 1983]], and nothing was developed until ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros''. But that doesn't matter, because there were no games before that apart from ''VideoGame/{{Pong}}'', ''VideoGame/QBert'' and ''VideoGame/PacMan''.

* The best form of stealth is by [[Franchise/MetalGear hiding under cardboard boxes.]]

* "Soldier Genes" can be [[Franchise/MetalGear taken from a sample to create a superior clone of a soldier]], while the inferior genes leave the other twin clone with blond hair and a British accent. The DNA can also be used to enhance supersoldiers. An upper skull and spine can survive being removed from a body and grafted to an exoskeleton.

* Everything that has ever happened in the history of mankind is the result of an {{ancient| conspiracy}} {{government| conspiracy}} {{UsefulNotes/conspiracy| theory}}!

* [[Music/{{Wings}} Venus And Mars Are Alright Tonight]]

* [[WeAllLiveInAmerica There is one basic culture]], and a culture which is not your own is basically the same except for a few differences in food and television.

* If France didn’t exist, you could sail in a strait line from India to Sumatra.

* Always assume that [[AsskickingEqualsAuthority the leader in any military force is the strongest soldier]]. In fact, to be promoted, a soldier must be able to at least eliminate an army or [[KlingonPromotion defeat his commanding officer]].

* All bigots are white, and are also anti-semites, even if they've never even heard of Jews.
* "Semite" means just Jews. Jews cannot be anti-Semitic, and are always Zionist Commies.

* Antarctica is that really long white strip of land you see at the bottom of the map, with ice, snow, [[EverythingsBetterWithPenguins penguins]] and [[MisplacedWildlife polar bears]]. Otherwise its not too interesting, a lot of maps don't even show it, and it's not surprising. Its main landmark is a big red and white striped pole sticking out of the ground with a sign on it that says "The South Pole". It matches The North Pole, except that Santa doesn't live there.

* Africa is all one country, except for Egypt, and possibly South Africa, that evil country where apartheid happened. Geographically, Africa has two climates. There's the vast Sahara desert, made up of endless sand dunes, pyramids, sphinxes, [[AllDesertsHaveCacti cacti]], and the random oasis, consisting of a small pond and some palm trees (though these will [[HollywoodMirage rarely not be a mirage]]). The second climate is a [[DarkestAfrica dense jungle]], consisting of gorillas, [[MisplacedWildlife lions, elephants, hippos]], [[EverythingsBetterWithDinosaurs dinosaurs]], cannibal natives, and [[Franchise/{{Tarzan}} European jungle men]] who were raised by apes. Besides them, everyone in Africa is black, and [[NationalGeographicNudity their clothing is optional]]. And whenever a global pandemic arises, it comes from Africa. However, [[VideoGame/{{Pandemic}} the pandemic will never reach Madagascar]].