History Awesome / NotAlwaysRight

* When a breastfeeding mother in a café is [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-adventures-of-boob-erman/254472/ harassed]] by a sleazy guy who wants "a taste", a nearby waiter lifts his own top and tells him to "have a suckle on this! Otherwise, you can f*** off like the creepy little saddo you are!" The sleazeball blushes and storms out. The mother gives him a huge tip and later puts in a word for him with his manager; the waiter subsequently gets a promotion -- and his own superhero nickname, "Boob-erMan".

* "[[http://notalwaysright.com/its-about-to-get-crazy-horse-up-in-here/77034 In my tribe]], I am called ‘Ejects-Bigoted-A**-hole-From-Premises’. Now kindly get the fuck out."

** On a meta level, many of the commenters praised OP for the nature of their prank. (No property damage, no one was injured, everyone laughed, and the cleanup was minimal).

* [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-real-woman-versus-half-a-man/77619 “No, I’m all woman, but a woman willing to kick your a** if you don’t apologize to this girl.”]]

--> '''Daughter:''' “Can you please just stop? This guy’s been pretty d*** helpful and probably has better taste in men than you!”

-->'''Mail Lady''': "Ma'am. Shut your d*** mouth and leave the poor guy alone! He didn't do anything wrong, and he's already CLEARLY waiting! If you don't stop, I won't give you your mail! You're just a rude old bat, aren't you?!"

* "[[http://notalwaysright.com/its-about-to-get-crazy-horse-up-in-here/77034 In my tribe]], I am called ‘Ejects-Bigoted-A**-hole-From-Premises’. Now kindly get the f*** out."

--> ''"God wasted a good a**hole when he put teeth in your mouth!"''

* [[http://notalwaysright.com/they-understand-what-you-are-seine/26617 Two lewd Frenchmen]] make obscene comments about the attractive but "stupid Americans"... one of whom lives in Paris. She tells the "inbred sons of syphilitic wh***s" that if they don't stop harassing her baby sister (who ''can't'' understand them), [[FreudianThreat she'll cut off their pathetic excuses for manhood and feed them to the pigeons.]]

---> '''My Mom:''' "You!" *walks closer to teacher* "Don't you EVER lay a finger on my boy! If you have anything to say, you talk to me. I better not hear from him that you hurt him, because I'll skin your a**! Got it?"

---> "I never thought I'd say this, but lady, I am suing your a**."

-->'''Guy:''' *getting uncomfortable because not only did the acid not burn her but also DeathGlare* You don’t have s***.

-->'''Poster:''' I ended [up] walking out of that office feeling like Billy Bada**.

* [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-christmas-affair-to-remember/184973/ A Christmas Affair To Remember]]: The homosexual teenager learns just how bigoted his grandmother is about non-heteronormative people during Christmas, where among her first rant about them is that they should get chemical castration. He puts up with the rants for most of dinner for the sake of the family, but the grandmother keeps going and even asks the teenager if he ever 'tried being straight'. The teenager finally snaps and fires back, 'Have you tried not having an affair?' alluding to her repeated cheating in her past. The grandmother is shocked silent, and [[MamaBear the mother]], upon hearing a cousin's reaction to this, later tells everyone in the family that ''anyone'' that thinks the teenager should apologize for what he said, and not the grandmother for what she said, they can get right outta the house and their lives.

* [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-christmas-affair-to-remember/184973/ A Christmas Affair To Remember]]: The homosexual teenager learns just how bigoted his grandmother is about non-heteronormative people during Christmas, where among her first rant about them is that they should get chemical castration. He puts up with the rants for most of dinner for the sake of the family, but the grandmother keeps going and even asks the teenager if he ever 'tried being straight'. The teenager finally snaps and fires back, 'Have you tried [[YourCheatingHeart not having an affair]]?' alluding to her repeated cheating in her past. The grandmother is shocked silent, and [[MamaBear the mother]], upon hearing a cousin's reaction to this, later tells everyone in the family that ''anyone'' that thinks the teenager should apologize for what he said, and not the grandmother for what she said, they can get right outta the house and their lives.

* [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-christmas-affair-to-remember/184973/ A Christmas Affair To Remember]]: The homosexual teenager learns just how bigoted his grandmother is about non-heteronormative people during Christmas, where among her first rant about them is that they should get chemical castration. They put up with the rants for most of dinner for the sake of the family, but the grandmothers keeps going and even asks the teenager if he ever 'tried being straight'. The teenager finally snaps and fires back, 'Have you tried [[YourCheatingHeart not having an affair]]?' alluding to her repeated cheating in her past. The grandmother is shocked silent, and [[MamaBear the mother]], upon hearing her sister's reaction to this, later tells everyone in the family that ''anyone'' that thinks the teenager should apologize for what he said, and not the grandmother for what she said, they can get right outta the house and their lives.

* [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-gangster-the-pizza-and-the-baby/223848/ The Pizza Avengers]]

* [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-talkative-toddler-saves-the-day/220682/ This toddler]]'s mother is electrocuted and knocked out while toasting a sandwich. [[{{Determinator}} Said toddler proceeds to get out of her high chair, unlock her front door, get out of her gate, reach the submitter's gate, open said gate despite it being out of her reach, and climb up ten steps to reach the submitter's front door to call for help.]] Even better, she wasn't completely fluent in English but communicated enough for the submitter to realize that "Mama" needed assistance.

* [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-twilight-of-our-literacy-part-3/ A pair of teens]] managed to hide every copy of the ''Twilight'' series in a bookstore in its ceiling. While the OP had to report them to the manager, the manager [[ActuallyPrettyFunny rewarded them with gift cards]].

** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/hellish-customers/78137 Luffasir?]] [[YouMakeMeSic It's Lucifer,]] and I don't need any more morons worshiping me. Now get the hell out of here."

* [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-talkative-toddler-saves-the-day/220682/ This toddler]]'s mother is electrocuted and knocked out while toasting a sandwich. [[{{Determinator}} Said toddler proceeds to get out of her high chair, unlock her front door, get out of her gate, reach the submitter's gate, open said gate despite it being out of her reach, and climb up ten steps to reach the submitter's front door to call for help.]]

* "[[https://notalwaysright.com/meet-uncle-yikes/240391/ Uncle Yikes]]": A CreepyUncle who has an obsession with tattoos -- to the point of ranting incessantly about them despite the whole family being annoyed with him-- announces that he wants to inspect the [=OP=]'s body for them during a Thanksgiving get-together, when she's on break from a liberal college. The [=OP=]'s mother walks in and hears this. She gets mad, and reveals to the family that she has a small tattoo on her back, and asks WhatWereYouThinking? The uncle is asking to examine his niece's body, as if she is a plaything. He tries angrily ranting, and leaves the dad and [=OP=]'s younger brother with bruises when they kick him out of the house. As LaserGuidedKarma goes, everyone cuts ties with him except his mother because of the incident, and his refusal to keep his mouth shut.

* [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-a-dragon-its-a-kangaroo-no-its-a-whole-mess-of-rabbits/188028/ A student]] pranks their teacher with origami. It's as awesome as it sounds.
** On a meta level, many of the commenters praised OP for the nature of their prank. (No property damage, no one was injured, everyone laughed, and the cleanup was minimal).

--->''If you’ll allow me to toot my mom’s horn, I’m really proud of her. The first time she saw (the female classmate), she knew, she verified, and she took action.''