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TotemicHero2011-11-01 14:48:17

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Billy Mays vs Ben Franklin. Epic Rap Battles of History #10

The video:

Ah, the surprisingly popular Epic Rap Battles Of History. This series of videos pits celebrities and historical figures in rap contests. While not all of them have transcriptions available, a select few do.

Well, knowing You Tube audio transcriptions, they no doubt have their own version of how this particular rap goes.

So, Ben Franklin, take us away:

hello the

Not even given enough time to say hello? Hmph.

shafiqsgr structurally travel industry affiliate couldn't sell wednesdays at

I thought this was going to be a rap battle, not business negotiations. Of course, maybe I don't understand rap, but still...

nine o'clock contract that's like eight degrees for thirty days that puts

Wow, I knew business deals had their own vernacular, but it's worse than I thought. You'd need a lawyer to understand this.

maximizes your activities around you little referenced blood sample by the

What kind of business requires you to take blood samples? Wow, talk about cutthroat hiring standards.

way they are preferable confidence-building could go on the

I don't know, but I think you'd need a lot of confidence building after revealing that you take blood samples for some reason.

arteries conduct and ethics

Wait, you think you can determine how someone behaves from a blood sample? Either you're at the cutting edge of technology, or you're insane. Can we just get actually rapping? Billy Mays?


Yeah, your business reputation is.

electronico paragraph

Uh...what? I can't even think of anything funny to say to that.

wholesale no money but you know what they did the mailman is not going to be

I don't know who they are, but I'm pretty sure you don't want to piss off your mailman. Ever.

able to riverside one night friday one of the cannot ethics juanita

Juanita? Wait a minute, I'm beginning to suspect they're using illegal immigrants as labor. That would explain how they were able to draw blood with no complaints. Ben Franklin, what do you have to say about that?

scattered chartered failed thank you

Well, can't argue with that. At least Franklin has some sense.


Oh, looks like Billy Mays has left. But wait, what's this?

greenwood on prisoners of war

Great, so now there's advertising in the audio transcripts. Can we get back to this so-called "rap" battle?


No...more...advertising...okay, ad is over. Wait a second, is that Vince Offer?

guide history in your heart mind pathophysiological areas your going to

Yes it is, and apparently he is either one strange psycho-analyst, or completely nuts. Given how we're normally supposed to love his nuts, well...

expand and three children and i don't think that one of those times and

Is he trying to psycho-analyze their business decisions? One thing's for sure, he's definitely putting the "psycho" into it.

everything else events the house

Whose house? Franklin's? Mays's? I can't tell.

murrow hollywood flag and that the like every time i can here at the rides again

Okay, yeah, he's nuts. Definitely not sure how Offer could be any more crazy than this.

on my dogs who have been an aromatic analytically

I stand corrected.


If I weren't doing this from there, it's where I'd want to go after this. Anyway, it looks like Offer is done. Roll credits!


You did not forget what the credits are. Don't tell me you forgot what the credits are.


I guess that's the company behind the videos. Funny, I thought this was a more small-scale project by a small team of comedians, but whatever.

And there you have it! Apparently they figured it would be natural for Franklin and Mays to try to strike a (ruthless) business deal, then fail. Fair enough, but I could deal without Offer's "analysis". The transcriptions aren't exactly all that good at writing plots.

Maybe next time they'll actually get the rap part down though...or not.

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