Low, by Flo Rida, proves that pop music does have low standards.
(feat. T-Pain)
MIKE: Is there anything that T-Pain WON’T feature on?
[Chorus:]
Shawty had them Apple Bottom Jeans (Jeans)
Boots with the fur (With the fur)
CROW: PETA was quick to throw paint at her.
The whole club was lookin at her
She hit the flo (She hit the flo)
Next thing you know'
TOM: An ambulance arrived.
Shawty got low low low low low low low low
MIKE: Much like Flo Rida’s chance of having a lasting career.
Them baggy sweat pants
And the Reeboks with the straps (With the straps)
TOM: I thought she was wearing Apple Bottom jeans and fur boots?
She turned around and gave that big booty a smack (Ayy)
She hit the flo (She hit the flo)
Next thing you know
CROW: The club burned down.
Shawty got low low low low low low low low
MIKE: I think eight is enough, Flo Rida.
[Verse 1:]
I ain't never seen nuthin that'll make me go,
This crazy all night spendin my dough
MIKE: I can tell that this song is going to be an inspirational classic.
Had a million dollar vibe and a bottle to go
Dem birthday cakes, they stole the show
CROW: Is there a birthday party here? Why can’t my birthday parties ever be this cool?
So sexual, she was flexible
Professional, drinkin X and ooo
TOM: Sorry, folks, Flo Rida’s just found something shiny. He’ll be back in a minute.
Hold up wait a minute, do I see what I think I
Whoa
MIKE [Flo Rida]: There really IS a candy mountain!!
Did I think I seen shorty get low
Ain't the same when it's up that close
Make it rain, I'm makin it snow
ALL: Eww!!
Work the pole, I got the bank roll
I'm a say that I prefer them no clothes
CROW: Yeah, you and every other heterosexual guy on the planet.
I'm into that, I love women exposed
She threw it back at me, I gave her more
TOM: Y’know, maybe she DOESN’T want your cash, Flo Rida. Ever think of that?
Cash ain't a problem, I know where it goes
MIKE: In the bank to accumulate interest?
She had them
[Chorus:]
Apple Bottom Jeans (Jeans)
CROW: Mike, why do humans wear such weird clothes?
MIKE: I don’t know.
Boots with the fur (With the fur)
The whole club was lookin at her
TOM: Ah, see, it was probably because she was wearing the boots with the fur after Labour Day.
She hit the flo (She hit the flo)
Next thing you know
'Shawty got low low low low low low low low
MIKE: Is that the chance that anyone’s going to remember this song?
Them baggy sweat pants
And the Reeboks with the straps (With the straps)
TOM: She must have the power to change her clothes instantly.
She turned around and gave that big booty a smack (Ayy)
She hit the flo (She hit the flo)
Next thing you know
CROW [Flo Rida]: I called the cops.
Shawty got low low low low low low low low
[Verse 2:]
Hey
Shawty what I gotta do to get you home
MIKE: Beat Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels without dying?
My jeans full of gwap
And they ready for Shones
Cadillacs Maybachs for the sexy grown
Patrone on the rocks that'll make you moan
TOM: I didn’t know that women got aroused by expensive liquor and cars.
One stack (come on)
Two stacks (come on)
CROW: Mike? Why is Flo Rida talking about stacks of pancakes?
MIKE: I guess he was hungry.
Three stacks (come on, now that's three grand)
What you think I'm playin baby girl
I'm the man, I'll bend the rubber bands
MIKE: After all, no woman can resist the charms of Flo Rida and his cash!!
That's what I told her, her legs on my shoulder
I knew it was ova, that Henny and Cola
Got me like a Soldier
TOM: Yeah, a drunk one who fires at everything in sight.
She ready for Rover, I couldn't control her
So lucky oo me, I was just like a clover
CROW: You sat around waiting to be picked?
Shorty was hot like a toaster
MIKE: Behold! The unsexiest simile ever!
Sorry but I had to fold her,
Like a pornography poster
TOM: She must be a contortionist.
CROW: Either that or Flo Rida has no understanding of how flexible human bodies are.
She showed her
[Chorus:]
Apple Bottom Jeans (Jeans)
Boots with the fur (With the fur)
The whole club was lookin at her
MIKE: Yeah, who wears Apple Bottom Jeans anymore?
She hit the flo (She hit the flo)
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low
CROW: Much like Flo Rida’s sense of shame.
Them baggy sweat pants
And the Reeboks with the straps (With the straps)
TOM: So, guys, is Flo Rida talking about the same person here? I’m confused.
She turned around and gave that big booty a smack (Ayy)
She hit the flo (She hit the flo)
MIKE: Dunno. He could talking about identical twins.
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low
[Verse 3:]
Whoa
Shawty
CROW [Flo Rida]: The Matrix IS an awesome movie!!
Yea she was worth the money
Lil mama took my cash,
TOM: Ah, yes, the EXCITING resolution to the GRIPPING cash subplot!!
And I ain't want it back,
The way she bit that rag,
Got her them paper stacks,
TOM: Paying someone in pads of paper seems a little cheap to me, but what do I know?
Tatto above her crack,
I had to handle that,
CROW: Yes, we can all trust Flo Rida to guard us from those dangerous tattoos!!
I was on it, sexy woman, let me shownin
They be want it two in the mornin
I'm zonin in them rosay bottles foamin
MIKE: I can see that Flo Rida went to the Hurricane Chris school of lyrics
She wouldn't stop, made it drop
Shorty did that pop and lock,
Had to break her off that gwap
TOM: What? Is Flo Rida’s money secretly laced with drugs?
Gah it was fly just like my glock
[Chorus:]
Apple Bottom Jeans (Jeans)
CROW: So why do Apple Bottom Jeans exist?
Boots with the fur (With the fur)
The whole club was lookin at her
MIKE: Probably to go with the fur boots she’s wearing.
She hit the flo (She hit the flo)
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low
TOM: But why would everyone in the club be looking at her? Granted, Flo Rida was probably using hyperbole, but, in any case, why?
Them baggy sweat pants
And the Reeboks with the straps (With the straps)
MIKE: Maybe Apple Bottom Jeans are some kind of weird fashion trend?
She turned around and gave that big booty a smack (Ayy)
She hit the flo (She hit the flo)
Next thing you know
CROW: Or maybe she glued actual apple bottoms to her jeans.
Shawty got low low low low low low low low
MIKE: Hmm, I never thought of that.
TOM: Good point, Crow.
C'mon
TOM: But any case, Flo Rida still wants everyone to know, that Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low.
This song is bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. I don't see why Flo Rida still has a career.
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