Line #107 Recap/BirdsOfAFeatherS5E9EastSideStory


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/eastsidestory.jpg]]
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3	->'''Dorien''': But you see, Rosa is different. She has ''breeding''.
4	->'''Sharon''': She ''was'' breeding last time I saw her.
5	-->-- '''Sharon Theodopolopodous''' making a joke about '''Dorien Green's''' niece, Rosa.
6
7	* Date First Aired: 31/10/1993
8
9	Garth is now lounging around the house after the end of college, a fact that is beginning to disgust Sharon. Thus, she wants Garth to have a social life. Meanwhile, Dorien has come in with a new taste for leather and an obligation - she has to watch over Marcus' cousin's daughter Rosa for a week whilst she jets off to Kenya.
10
11	Afterwards, Sharon finds that one of the wine bars is being turned into a tapas bar and they're doing a happy-hour deal. Before they can go through, this daughter shows up and takes a liking to Garth. The girls thus convince her to have Garth babysit her whilst they go out. Whilst Dorien laments her age, Rosa admits that Dorien doesn't like her very much and she and Garth decide to have fun. The end result is the girls coming home to find them having sex in the Jacuzzi.
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13	The next morning, Tracey is pissed at Garth for his actions but he is defensive, pointing out that he is a grown adult. Dorien is pissed, but for different reasons - she doesn't want her to be having sex with a commoner son of a bank robber, much to Tracey's disgust, who decides to encourage the relationship. However, there is a problem - if Fey and her husband find out about Garth, it will lead to Marcus learning about Dorien's affairs. Despite this, Tracey is willing to stand by her son - until Dorien learns something about Rosa - apparently, she's been trying to get her father to buy her a new car, and is hoping to use Garth as a bargaining chip in order to get what she wants. Thankfully, Garth dumps her, having realized that she's a bit of a snob, and he goes off with Jackie. Happy endings are had by all, and the friendship is reconciled.
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15	----
16	!!Tropes In This Episode:
17	* ACupAngst: Dorien, worrying about getting older, laments that her breasts have failed the pencil test.
18	* BitchInSheepsClothing: Rosa seems to be a nice, if not plain girl, but after a week she reveals her true colours of being snarky, stuck-up, spoilt and slutty.
19	-->'''Dorien''': I'm afraid ''darling'' Rosa has been a manipulative little ''bitch''!
20	-->'''Sharon''': Can't ''think'' where she gets it from.
21	* {{Blackmail}}:
22	** Marcus's cousin Faye was able to rope Dorien in for babysitting by threatening to reveal her sexual trysts to Marcus.
23	** Dorien tells Garth that if he ever calls her "Auntie" again, she'll lie to Tracey that he used his binoculars to spy on her having a shower.
24	--->'''Garth''': When did I do that?!
25	--->'''Dorien''': About 11:30 tonight.
26	** Dorien told Rosa that if she ever told her parents about Garth, then she'd tell Maurice about the plot to get a sports car.
27	* BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord: Dorien uses "monitoring" instead of "eavesdropping".
28	-->'''Dorien''': I've been ''monitoring'' her calls.
29	-->'''Tracey''': "''Eavesdroppin'''", you mean.
30	-->'''Dorien''': I thought "monitoring" sounded less Jewish.
31	* ComicallyMissingThePoint: When Garth complains to Tracey that he shouldn't be in trouble for the Jacuzzi incident because that's what she and Sharon used to do, Sharon argues that she still does it sometimes.
32	* ContinuityNod: The top Dorien wears in the final scene was previously worn by her in "[[Recap/BirdsOfAFeatherS5E7ABrushWithTheLaw A Brush with the Law]]".
33	* CurseCutShort:
34	** Tracey cuts Garth off before he can swear in front of her.
35	--->'''Garth''': All the blokes are wusses.
36	--->'''Tracey''': Wha's a "wuss"?
37	--->'''Garth''': Oh, you know. Bit of a toss-
38	--->'''Tracey''': I think we'll stick to the "wuss".
39	** Tracey stops Sharon from saying "shit" later on:
40	--->'''Sharon''': Tommorow should be a laugh then. Faye and Maurice will find out about ''Garth'', Marcus will find out about ''Dorien'' and the randy mechanic, an' ''you'' will find out wha' it's like to be up to your neck-
41	--->'''Tracey''': Thank you, ''Sharon'', I think I get your drift.
42	* DanceLine: The girls get into a conga line whilst they're at the tapas bar. Dorien then redirects the line so she can follow an attractive fella.
43	* DeadpanSnarker:
44	** Sharon becomes one towards Garth when his lazy behaviour starts to annoy her.
45	--->'''Tracey''': You ain't got any ''problems'' or anything, 'ave ya?
46	--->'''Garth''': Like what?
47	--->'''Sharon''': 'Oo knows? With kids today it could be anything from ''glue'' sniffin' to devil worships.
48	** Dorien has a particularly scathing remark to Sharon after she makes a confusing comment:
49	--->'''Dorien''': Either I've lost the ability to decipher sentences, or they've invented a new language only the ''fat'' can understand.
50	** Rosa makes this unflattering comment about Sharon under her breath:
51	--->'''Tracey''': My sister woulda made a terrific town crier.
52	--->'''Rosa''': She'd have made a pretty good ''town''.
53	* DirtyOldMan: Sharon claims Chris would have jumped in the Jacuzzi with a naked Garth and Rosa if he wasn't in prison.
54	* DopeSlap: Tracey gives Garth a light one when he mentions his ideal girl would have to like Jacuzzi's.
55	* DoYouWantToHaggle: Dorien and Garth haggle over his babysitting fee:
56	-->'''Dorien''': Would £10 change your mind?
57	-->'''Garth''': Twenty might.
58	-->'''Dorien''': ({{Beat}}) Fifteen.
59	-->'''Garth''': Eighteen fifty.
60	-->'''Dorien''': Sixteen twenty-five.
61	-->'''Garth''': Eighteen quid.
62	-->'''Dorien''': Seventeen fifty and not a penny more.
63	-->'''Garth''': Done.
64	-->'''Dorien''': I certainly ''have been''!
65	* DramaticDrop: Tracey drops a champagne bottle in shock when she catches Garth and Rosa together.
66	* EndOfEpisodeSilliness: The episode ends with a furious Dorien racing out of the house after realising Rosa scammed her out of her expensive dress.
67	* {{Gasshole}}: Garth loudly burps while relaxing on the couch.
68	* GetOut: Upon hearing what Dorien really thinks of Garth, Tracey tells her to get out of the house.
69	* TheGhost:
70	** Faye and Maurice, Rosa's parents.
71	** Jackie, the girl from Garth's catering college that he has a crush on.
72	* GratuitousFrench: Dorien comes in with a "Bonsoir!" after her initial bout with Fey's daughter.
73	* GratuitousItalian: Dorien says "Ciao" to Tracey and Sharon on two occasions.
74	* GrievousBottleyHarm: When Tracey hears a mysterious noise in her home, she wields a glass bottle of champagne and is prepared to attack until she sees the source of the noise, which leads to a DramaticDrop when she drops the bottle in horror.
75	* HellBentForLeather: Dorien has taken to wearing leather outfits as it is apparently considered to be fashionable.
76	* HesAllGrownUp: When Dorien sees a naked Garth, she remarks "hasn't he grown?".
77	* {{Hypocrite}}:
78	** Sharon is disgusted by Garth's slobbish, lazy behaviour... even though she has been shown to be not above this behaviour.
79	** Garth outright calls Tracey one for not letting him have sex despite the fact that like them, he is a fully grown adult.
80	* HilariousOuttakes: When the girls enter the kitchen to make plans to go to the tapas bar, Creator/PaulineQuirke (Sharon) bumps the teapot on the table on one take and breaks character.
81	-->'''Sharon''': The Gods are smiling down apon us, they are saying...
82	-->'''Pauline Quirke''': ...mind the teapots.
83	* ItRunsInTheFamily: Sharon theorists that all of the women in Dorien's family are nymphomaniacs.
84	-->'''Tracey''': Some families are double-jointed, 'er's 'ave all got fold-away backbones an' carpet burns.
85	* LazyBum: Garth now spends all his time out of university lazing on the couch.
86	-->'''Garth''': Auntie Sharon?
87	-->'''Sharon''': Yes, Garth?
88	-->'''Garth''': Me nuts 'ave run out.
89	-->'''Sharon''': Oh, '''ave'' they?
90	-->'''Garth''': M'yeah.
91	-->'''Sharon''': Well, run out after 'em, you lazy little toerag.
92	* MakingLoveInAllTheWrongPlaces:
93	** Garth and Rosa end up having sex in the Jacuzzi.
94	** Sharon admits she and Chris did something similar, only difference being it was in a big bath.
95	* {{Malaproper}}: Tracey and Sharon say "tapas" wrong, with infuriates Dorien.
96	-->'''Dorien''': It's "tap-''ath''". Tap-''ath''.
97	-->'''Sharon''': Oh, i-''th'' it?
98	* MamaBear: Tracey wants to break Rosa's neck after she finds out she's only pretending to love him so she can dump him and get a sports car.
99	* MeaningfulEcho: Whilst at the tapas bar, Dorien complains that it's like an 18-30's holiday camp. This same phrase is later used by Rosa when she's out with Garth.
100	* MyBelovedSmother: Tracey doesn't want to leave Garth home alone... despite the fact that he has finished university.
101	* NakedPeopleAreFunny: Tracey, Sharon and Dorien catch an eyeful of a naked Garth in the Jacuzzi with Rosa.
102	-->'''Dorien''': ''Heavens'', hasn't he ''grown''.
103	* NoodleIncident: Dorien was once caught by Faye in a compromising position with a young mechanic.
104	-->'''Tracey''': You dirty ol' cow. With a mechanic?
105	-->'''Dorien''': He simply popped in to say I was due for my regular ''service''! One thing led to another...
106	* OneShotCharacter: Rosa.
107	* PopCulturePunEpisodeTitle: The episode title is a play on the play ''Theatre/WestSideStory''.
108	* ReallyGetsAround:
109	** Sharon and Tracey joke that Dorien has made a major contribution to mankind in that she's slept with most of mankind.
110	** Tracey accuses Rosa of taking after Dorien.
111	--->'''Dorien''': Are you ''insinuating'' that my niece is ''easy''?!
112	--->'''Tracey''': Well, she didn't look very ''difficult'' from where I was standin'!
113	* SheCleansUpNicely: Rosa is considered quite plain, but looks amazing in one of Dorien's dresses.
114	* ShipperOnDeck: Tracey encourages the relationship between Garth and Rosa to get back at Dorien for criticizing her son.
115	* ShoutOut:
116	** Tracey calls Dorien in her leather outfit "Madame Whiplash".
117	** Dorien wonders why Faye and Marcus didn't go to Center Parcs.
118	** Tracey says that Dorien is hardly ''Film/MaryPoppins''.
119	** Dorien thinks Creator/CindyCrawford is good-looking.
120	** Dorien has this to say about playing games with Rosa:
121	--->'''Dorien''': One more game of ''Twister'' with the brat... I swear, I will turn into Creator/RebeccaDeMornay in ''Film/TheHandThatRocksTheCradle''!
122	** Garth and Rosa bond over a book about a Music/GunsNRoses tour:
123	--->'''Rosa''': Oh wow, Music/{{Slash\|Musician}} is my favourite guitarist.\
124	'''Garth''': Leave it out, 'e can't touch the Edge.
125	** Dorien tells Garth he won't care if he [[Film/MommieDearest beats Rosa's legs with a wire coathanger]].
126	** Dorien compares Rosa to Literature/{{Dracula}}.
127	** Tracey and Sharon can't call the police when they believe there is a burglar by their pool as their filter unit had been on ''Police 5'' last week.
128	** Tracey claims Garth and Rosa in the Jacuzzi looked like an episode of ''Chigwell 90218'', a reference to ''Series/BeverlyHills90210''.
129	* SnarkToSnarkCombat: Between Sharon and Dorien on the topic of leather clothes:
130	-->'''Dorien''': Leather is very fashionable again this year.
131	-->'''Sharon''': Yeah, a lot of old cows wouldn't be seen in anything else.
132	-->'''Dorien''': Well Sharon, rest assured - should you ever wish to dress your ''ample'' figure in leather - somewhere, someplace, there's a ''herd'' with your name on it.
133	* SpeakInUnison:
134	** Tracey and Dorien do so to interrupt Sharon before she can insult Dorien.
135	--->'''Sharon''': Meet the nanny with the overactive-
136	--->'''Tracey/Dorien''': Sharon!
137	** Tracey and Sharon do so when Dorien explains how she is being blackmailed.
138	--->'''Dorien''': Something I ''wouldn't'' want revealed to certain other parties, if you get my drift.
139	--->'''Tracey/Sharon''': ''Marcus''.
140	* SuddenlyShouting: Tracey screams at Dorien to GetOut after she hears her talk bad about Garth and Rosa's relationship.
141	* TakeThat:
142	** Tracey doesn't like Babycham.
143	** Tracey tells Dorien her leather outfit looks like something she picked up from Frank Bough's bedroom.
144	** Sharon thinks Dorien is depressed because she got the bill from an Ann Summers party.
145	** Dorien claims that Rosa is so ugly that she makes Chelsea Clinton look like Creator/CindyCrawford.
146	** Playing ''Twister'' with Rosa drives Dorien mad.
147	** Sharon uses Arthur Mullard's name to mean getting drunk.
148	** The idea of having to use Meals on Wheels greatly upsets Dorien.
149	** Dorien compares her night out to taking two Mogadon and watching the MediaNotes/{{BAFTA}} in slow-motion.
150	** Tracey says Rosa is as innocent as UsefulNotes/JackTheRipper.
151	* TimeSkip: After Tracey kicks Dorien of her house, the episode skips a week ahead to Tracey and Sharon discussing Garth and Rosa.
152	* UnusualEuphemism: Sharon uses "Mullard" to mean getting drunk.
153	* VomitDiscretionShot: Garth tells Tracey that he threw up in Rosa's handbag.
154	* WhiteFlag: Dorien holds up a white flag (actually camiknickers on top of a riding crop) in surrender outside of the window when she is willing to talk to the sisters.
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