Reviews: Rebel Taxi

God\'s Languorous Man

Hey, you just learned a new word there, didn't you? Trust me, it'll be your biggest takeaway ever associated with Rebel Taxi.

This won't be my longest review ever, as I aim to reflect the subject's work ethic and level of quality in my own. Anyways, Rebel Taxi is your average pop-culture oriented list creator, who (inconsistently) tries to copy the classic Toonami video jockey aesthetic... for want of any other distinctive characteristic, I guess. This would seem to mark it as a cut-and-dry case of So Okay, It's Average, right? File it and move on to the next one. Time's a-wasting.


Aside from shamelessly piggybacking onto ideas and subject matter covered by more creative and talented souls, the narrator (some sort of diseased anthropomorphic scrotum with a cap or something, I dunno) has the sort of lethargic vocal presence you'd expect from Constantinos Smith on horse tranquilizers ran at half speed underwater. Sure, there are—objectively speaking—jokes and witticisms of varying quality in the scripts, but they never make any sort of an effort in changing their drone-like cadence to accommodate said doomed attempts at humor. What's more, he's one of those guys... you know the kind: a "One-Take Ortolan", in the worst possible way. Concordantly, every five minutes or so there's a mispronounced word left in. And they're not exactly thesaurus-quality words, either.

For all the lack of passion or creativity that this poor excuse for a half-decent web "original" exudes, it wouldn't surprise me if the driver of this not-at-all-rebellious taxi were some highly advanced text-to-speech program (and the content itself being synthesized by some algorithm). At least it's close enough to human speech for that to be a technical achievement worthy of praise.

Toonami, if were a review series and a bit funnier.

I love this show. The music kicks major ass and the drawing on Pan himself has gotten better. Every video has the sense of...I can't describe it but the videos are always great.

Rebel Taxi is an incredibly well done show and I wish nothing but the best to Pan-Pizza.