Reviews: Lilys Changes

Derivative Peggy Sue Fixfic with no Good Qualities

Lily's Changes is one of those "Harry goes back in time to fix things the author hates about canon" stories. The first three chapters are the author using Lily as a Possession Sue to rail against "plot holes" and tell Harry his friends are worthless (which Harry just nods and takes because the author doesn't know what characterization is). Then there's an immensely stupid storyline about repairing Voldemort's soul so he can join one of the good guys (but he's still a mass-murdering sociopath, which nobody seems to notice) and get back at Dumbledore, who is evil because... I actually have no idea. The author doesn't bother with things like "motivation" or "reasons for things happening."

The prose is similarly dreadful. What few descriptions are actually there tend to be ripped from the books (with no thought given to the actual context of the cribbed passages), leaving most of the story as dreadfully boring walls of dialogue that exists solely to exposit, rather than characterize.

The characters we're meant to root for are also horrible, horrible people, which is immensely hypocritical given the author's bashing of Dumbledore. Lily is a shrill, hateful shrew that neither shows (nor elicits) anything but contempt. Sirius Black abuses a political office for the sake of a personal vendetta, and does things that should earn him a life sentence in Azkaban. Harry Potter is literally a sexual predator. Voldemort is ripped straight out of Methods of Rationality, which is to say he's essentially Mad-Eye Moody, except more pretentious and without the psychology that actually made Moody a worthwhile character.

There is no conflict. The heroes (who are actually evil sociopaths) effortless waltz through whatever problems there are, with nary a risk or tension. There are no difficult decisions, and no consequences. The author then proceeds to "fix" the setting by way of making it boring. Remember how in Goblet of Fire, the tasks required skill and creativity to get past? Fuck that noise, it'll be much better if we just replace it with fucking quiz bowl. And more Quidditch. Because deliberately building a competition with a cash prize so that it favors one of the contestants (no, seriously, they actually do it because Krum will be there) isn't a shitty idea at all.

Quite simply, it sucks.
  • Roo
  • 27th Feb 14
  • 12

Okay, fair warning: I hate this story.

Yeah. Not impressed at all. In fact, I'm so un-impressed that I decided to write my first wholly negative review here.

This almost reads like a parody of all the "Harry is powerful and denounces the evil Dumbledore and worthless Weasleys and solves everything himself while getting together with Hermione" fics, except the author seems to want me to take it seriously.

The first three chapters is nothing but a poorly-disguised author's rant on how much the author thought Deathly Hallows sucked, where Lily curses out Harry (while basically denouncing 80% of the characters in Harry Potter as worthless, stupid, evil monsters) for blindly obeying Dumbledore instead of thinking for himself... and then a few paragraphs later she demands that Harry should blindly obey her instead, going on to dictate who he can and can't be friends with, who's he's allowed to fall in love with, even what Quidditch position he should play.

It doesn't get better once the rant's over and Author's Mouthpiece Lily vanishes; after that it's just Super-Harry breezing through everything and fixing everything easily while manipulating and using people (including casting Imperius on Hagrid) and talking trash about anyone the author doesn't like, mouthing off to teachers and threatening to leave Hogwarts in favor of Beauxbatons if he doesn't get his way (why is it always Beauxbatons in these stories?!), making a lot of "logical" statements about why these people and those people suck (statements that don't stand up to five seconds of actual thought) and basically acting like a total jerk with no repercussions whatsoever.

The hypocrisy is frankly rather off-putting.

Writing style is bland and awkward — it's either long, boring paragraphs of description or awkward-sounding dialogue — characterizations are pretty much non-existent for most of the characters, and the few who do show some semblance of personality outside of being author's mouthpieces or bashing victims are one-dimensional and shallow as all get-out.

I wouldn't recommend this story to anyone. If you absolutely want to read a Dumbledore/Weasley-bashing story, there's no shortage of them out there, and some of them are at least more competently written. This one is just bad on all accounts.

Lilys Changes

Contains Draco In Leather Pants and Ron The Death Eater, though instead of just Ron, everyone in the Weasley family is depicted that way. It's done in a rather blatantly overt fashion, with Lily basically telling Harry that everything he knows or believes is wrong. It's little more than a shameless Fix Fic. Nice of the author to use the King's Cross sequence at the beginning to say as much before the story actually gets started, though.