Reviews: Black And Gold
Not Perfect, But a Lot of Potential
By fanfiction standards, it's pretty damn amazing. By story standards, you can tell that raw talent aside, that this is the author's first story. You can watch the development of her writing style throughout the story, and she's surely finding her own voice and rhythm. The story is surprisingly well thought out, but to really get behind it you have to look past the snark and see it all as symbolic of L.J.'s developing past her inner demons. The twists and turns are indeed quite surprising and clever, but that kind of makes it feel like the author was making it up as she went along. L.J.'s struggle with responsibility, growing up, and settling her past is really engaging, but inconsistencies with the writing can get in the way. While some can say the story revolves around her and that makes her a Sue, I disagree- It's eventually apparent that this isn't a Soul Eater fanfic per say- this is the story of a girl working through her issues, and it just happens to have Soul Eater characters in it. Even the villain isn't made out to be the cause of all the trouble, as in the end it's revealed that L.J. was the cause of her own turmoil all along, and that she was also the cure. L.J. is clearly her own antagonist, and by The Reveal (pick whichever one) her Deadpan Snarker tendencies are shown in such a tragic and bitter light that just about everyone will be satisfied, whether you found the sarcasm entertaining or irritating. As for her relationship with Kid, L.J. is genuinely is opposite. She's manipulative and dishonest, and quite cynical in contrast to Kid's honorable but slightly naive persona. There's not much romantic interaction, but you can see that they are slowly coming to terms with one another in a rather realistic, albeit gradual way. The author still needs to develop Kid more as a character (since he doesn't get much canon development keeping him IC is apparently difficult), but she says more is on the way and I look forward to it. Like I said before, it's not perfect and the author has a long way to go. The writing isn't too consistent but improving, and I think that now that the focus is turning more towards L.J's resolving of her problems rather than the surface conflict, it'll get much better. Really give it a look- it's a genuinely interesting coming of age story about maturity and self-forgiveness that I really enjoyed.
Agreed. Original Alien Superspy does a superb job of making L.J. a very complex character, with subtle hints of insecurity towards her relationship with her mother, and how it contrasts Kid's relationship with his father. L.J.'s most prominent trait also becomes her biggest weakness-her dry sense of humor-as it disassociates her from her peers and reveals that she is skeptical and can be judgmental. L.J. truly is not perfect, but she is still a good friend for her partners and fellow Jr. Forces and foil for Kid. The story covers some very serious issues in a light hearted and altogether comical way. There was not a single paragraph read that did not have me thinking and laughing out loud at the same time. Well done.
WAAAAAY better than it sounds. First off, romance is NOT the primary focus of the story- to the point where readers wanted it to be less realistic and more fluffy. The plot comes first, and is fantastic- the twists and turns are genuinely shocking. Original Alien Superspy has a real talent for making fun, layered, and non-mary sue-ish OC's. L.J. is a natural deadpan snarker, making the story vibrant with a comedic perspective but with hidden depth. In OAS' world, there is a species of immortals called 'Forces' (who represent the Seasons, Elements, Karma, ect). The well done OC's bring a tone of reality to the story with a twist (they act more like normal teenagers, and occasionally lampshade the more strange aspects of the Soul Eater Universe). Kid and Junior are perfect parallels to each other-Kid is diligent, (usually) composed, and obedient to his father, while L.J. is laid back, rebellious, and considerably more wild-spirited. Altogether, a very original and entertaining read which suggests new concepts and is again, much better than it sounds. It helps that all of L.J.'s abilities are downplayed into near-obscurity, while her faults are punished to near Fatal Flaw status. This story definitely sets a new standard for OC construction.