Reviews Fanfic / Magma Dragon King

Aside from the harem part, my thoughts exactly. Having Juvia get with Natsu was already iffy, but not a deal breaker to me, since it felt like a consequence of Gray being Demoted to Extra overall, and was counterbalanced by the building up of Gajeel and Levy earlier than canon.

It was the Jellal treatment that was a deal breaker, stripping the character of any sense of likeability or depth in favor of making him a one dimensional bastard while whitewashing Ultear, when it was Ultear\'s own redemption arc that actually made her interesting. That, combined with the treatment of Milliana, Sho, Wally, and Simon, and the outright averting Thou Shalt Not Kill with Trinity Raven, made it almost feel like Kairomaru has a bone to pick with the \"Tower of Heaven\" arc for some reason, and made me drop it.

I\'m actually hesitant to pick up anything else Kairomaru wrote as a result. I already passed on \"Force of Souls\", but I was interested in Collector Hero: Synthesis and Age Of Titans. Now though, I\'m hesitant to pick up either of them, especially if the treatment of Bakugo in the former and Reiner and Bertholdt in the latter is anything like this fic\'s treatment of Jellal.

Kairomaru is very much not a believer of Thou Shall Not Kill outside of characters who have explicit reasons for why they never kill anyone (such as Batman recognizing he\'s too unstable to stop killing if he ever starts). So you should probably avoid Age Of Titans if you\'re offended by the idea of killing people who deliberately cause the mass slaughter of civilians multiple times. And given what I know of your tastes, you should avoid Synthesis too since Bakugo doesn\'t go around winning everything and is called out for trying to win an impossible battle (fighting All Might) when there\'s literally no point to it other than satisfying his massive ego.

As for Jellal and Ultear, Kairomaru pointed out how nonsensical he found it was that she was somehow perfectly controlling him from a distance despite being brand new to her magical studies. Is it canon? Nah. Does he have a point? Up to you.

Then make Ultear Ur\'s twin sister so that she\'s older, or make her and Zalty separate characters, or have a different member of Grimoire Heart or even Brain be the one controlling him. I came up with these off the top of my head. The problems I had with Kairomaru\'s writing here are twofold; The first and most obvious is the choice to Derailing Love Interests with him just because Erza was with Natsu now, and second is how lazy the solution to his issue with Jellal\'s brainwashing is compared to some of his more thoughtful expansions on canon lore.

Like, this person just changed Ultear and Gajeel into better people apropos of nothing except his arbitrary opinions on ships and canon. It wasn\'t impossible for Kairomaru to write Jellal as a victim of brainwashing by using any of the changes I suggested above, or someone who was never a child slave so he wouldn\'t be evil, or as someone who was never romantically interested in Erza, he just didn\'t feel like it for reasons that I have not seen a good answer for.

One could argue it\'s cutting down on an already massive cast and that the proposed solutions to spare him are equally lazy, along with the canon of \"This girl who just started learning magic can perfectly brainwash this dude so he was actually good all along\". Or even that every opinion is arbitrary since even if someone comes to the same answer, they have different reasoning. Personally, I don\'t have strong opinions on it overall. Granted, I\'ve killed off a character because I realized they were completely irrelevant to the story and I\'d already passed the point where I could write them out of the story in a logical manner.

There is killing off a character, and then there’s assassinating a character. The latter always brews boiling cauldrons of bad blood and should generally be avoided.

Yeah that\'s all I\'m really trying to get at Spectral Time. Jellal was character assassinated while several other initial antagonists weren\'t, and the reasons given for it are ultimately shallow ones from both the writer and his fans. I wasn\'t going to bother replying back if it was only The Sinful that posted again because that conversation would go nowhere, but it\'s good seeing someone outside the fandom understand the fundamental issue I was having.

I\'m still amused you call the fic \"toothless\" for killing antagonists, which is the exact opposite of toothless. Toothless would be sparing enemies because hey, they might\'ve done horrible horrible things to you and yours but something sad happened to them once.

You like Jellal and are pissed he\'s dead. Good for you. Kai\'s solution of \"Yeah, he\'s not brainwashed, just a dick\" is just as valid as your various solutions of \"No, he\'s actually a great dude but someone else brainwashed him since it makes no sense for this person to have done it\".

I find it hilarious that you\'re complaining about Kairomaru whitewashing Ultear when that\'s literally what canon did to Jellal. He got the double whammy of both having another character take credit/blame for his actions AND convenient amnesia to start his redemption.

Gag me with a fucking spoon.

I think it's funny you two cannot grasp the issues I have when 2 other people here did, but that's about what I expected from this fic's fans at this point. So I'll repeat myself one more time for other future readers and leave it it at that, because you two aren't really interested in doing anything except being aggressive to criticism.

The problem is the two other villains, Gajeel and Ultear, are just changed into NOT being the villains they were at the point in Fairy Tail canon they were introduced. The reasons for this are pretty clearly just because the fanfic author liked Gajeel and Levy together so he removed his brutal crucifixion of her during the Phantom Lord arc. And Ultear, who in canon was mind controlling Jellal the whole time, isn't responsible for any seriously heinous crimes here and was even given her mother back just to further push how out of what little villainy she did in the Galuna Island arc. This basically whitewashes her enough that she'll be able to join Natsu's harem later in the story without issue.

And that's the thing here. Fairy Tail as a story DOES have issues with introducing antagonists who go WAY beyond the pale initially but then get walked back with poor explanations later. Half the villains who don't die suffer this problem. Canon goes easy on ALL of them. Yeah Jellal being mind controlled the whole time doesn't work, but neither did Gajeel going from a thug to someone willing to protect people in the very next arc, or Ultear and her bullshit redemption after conveniently hearing her dead ghost mom give her a pep talk. But at least the story tries to roll with the fact that they were bad people first and makes them feel guilt and still want to atone in their own ways. This ultimately means these characters are just more interesting and better realized as atoners because they have to have more to them than the stock bad guy personalities Mashima gave them initially.

That's why I stand by the story being toothless. Writing a fanfic this indulgent isn't hard, to be frank. Mashima was sloppy about his atoning villains, but at least he tried to course correct into writing more interesting characters when he saw the potential they had. Kaiomaru happened to like Gajevy and wanted Ultear in Natsu's harem, so he changed them to be good and the methods chosen are something any other fan could have written. Jellal didn't die because Kairomaru was trying to make the plot make more sense. He died because Jellal didn't have a vagina. The rest of Erza's friends were just written out of the plot alive, but the idea of doing that to Jellal just isn't going to cross the mind of a dude writing a fanfic where ONLY women are getting turned into Dragon slayers so they can fit the author's theme. I'm not writing this review because I expect ANY Kairomaru fan to agree with me, but rather to tell everyone else what kind of content he writes and what kind of mentality he writes with.

Bro, this is a hole no one else is gonna die in with you. Not everyone is a fan of Jellel. Get over it.

I mean, if you people don't want to see the review then stop bumping it?

He didn\'t remove Levy\'s crucifixion. It never happened cause Levy can hold her own in a fight in this fic. As for Ultear, its pretty obvious that she would have continued down her path if Ur hadn\'t gotten revived. Stop deluding yourself just because the author decided to change events. It\'s simple cause and effect dude. If Ultear wasn\'t brainwashing Jellal in this fic, then his sudden personality shift to being evil was all his doing.

So...you're saying the author of this fanfic changed plot details and events from how they were in canon to make them how he wanted for his fanfic? Great! Then we agree.

Seriously man, look up what a Thermian Argument is next time you get into a debate. I get that Kairomaru made the story in that way to justify these elements, but since the author is not an external observer chronicling an existing universe, that means he chose to do that and that whether or not that was a good decision can be discussed from outside the story's viewpoint.

Translation: You\'re still pissed that your favorite character died and taking it out on others who disagree with your insistence that it shouldn\'t have happened.

And now we resort to strawman arguments. I never said anything about liking Jellal or being a fan of his character. I\'m simply criticizing the whole make-up of this fanfic and the results of Kairomaru\'s choice to focus on harem building and play favorites.

Naturally that\'s going to upset people who like the things that I take issue with. If this review was just glowering praise none of you would be here. It\'s solely because someone is being critical of the fanfic that you\'re here attempting to undermine what I have to say. I\'m not bothered by it though, because none of you have any worthwhile arguments and the more you come back to bump this review the more you expose this review you dislike to other people on the wiki. I honestly thank you for continuing to come here.

Maybe because you\'re dismissive of everyone pointing out the flaws in the argument. Every time someone points them out, you just go \"No. It shouldn\'t have happened because I say so.\" You didn\'t have to say you\'re a fan of Jellal because you wouldn\'t be upset about it if you weren\'t. All you\'ve been saying is \"He shouldn\'t have died and Kairomaru should\'ve used one of these other methods to not kill him!\"

The review is getting bumped? Bfd. Let other people see it.

What flaws? The 4 of your now have not made a single worthwhile counterargument that wasn\'t a thermian argument. I\'m dismissive? The past day now has just been fans being dismissive of why anyone would be critical of a fanfic that either kills off or reduces the plot importance of other men but makes whatever women the author likes joins the protagonists harem of special snowflakes. And I welcome the activity this review is getting because unlike fans of Magma Dragon King from the looks of it, most other people on this website have more skill with media analysis. The more of them able to see this review, and learn what kind of people Kairomaru\'s fans are, the better.

The fact you dismiss things as a thermian argument proves you don\'t understand things. The thermian argument is \"This happens in the story because it\'s a consequence of the setting or of something else that happens in the story\". The \'argument\' (and I use that term loosely) dismissing thermian arguments is \"The author can do whatever he wants because it\'s fiction.\" First of all, if that\'s valid, it completely invalidates your argument, because the author can do whatever he wants. But it\'s not a valid argument, because it\'s so incredibly vague and dismissive of any nuance that you can use it to say \"The moon crashes into the Earth at twenty times the speed of sound. No one dies and nothing bad happens because I, the author, say so. There\'s been zero setup to suggest this is remotely possible but I said it happens, therefore it does.\" If Levy is strong enough to put up a fight, then naturally, she doesn\'t get crucified. If Ultear isn\'t brainwashing the villain to make him, then the villain is just evil. It\'s called \"Consequences of the premise/setting\" and is something most people can understand; the premise and setting shape how the story will turn out. You, on the other hand, are the type of person asking why Harry Potter doesn\'t just shoot Voldemort in the head because, no matter how much it goes against both the premise (problems caused by magic are solved with magic) and setting (early to late 1990s Scotland), it\'s what you think should happen.

I also welcome the activity, because it means more people realizing you don\'t have an argument. Literally all you have is \"It shouldn\'t happen because I say so\". I say Justin Bieber shouldn\'t have been famous; shockingly neither of us is getting what we want.

See, now you\'re just being rude. I only commented cause I was explaining the changes Kai DID make to his fic. I\'m not trying to argue anything cause clearly you aren\'t willing to accept that we have differing opinions. Oh, and as for the whole \'killing off or reduce the plot importance of men\' thing? A: Kai has killed off Ikaruga. B: Gildarts was around for Phantom Lord\'s attack on the guild. Jupiter Cannon vs Crash Magic. Crash Magic wins.

You didn't "explain" anything. The Sinful didn't either in that previous post of his. The both of you are still just using Theremian Arguments to defend the author's out of universe decision to write a fanfic that either kills off or reduces the plot importance of other men but makes whatever women the author likes joins the protagonists harem of special snowflakes. Him killing other female characters isn't a defense of anything I criticized because that simply goes back to him wanting certain women in Natsu's harem if he likes them enough.

Oh, and calling me rude when your opening post in this thread is to tell me to stop deluding myself? Real classy.

Flagging my review now? If anything I'm just surprised it took you guys this long.

when one side is trying to explain things and attempts to make a fair and valid argument and the other side cherry picks form the argument to formulate their replies at some point people are going to say that enough is enough

Kai\'s fic isnt for everyone, but people seem to forget the one rule about fanfiction: its Kai\'s fic, he decides what happens. and Kai decided that Jellal was someone highly unstable and hungry for power, and he decided that Ultear no longer had a reason to be part of grimoire heart when she got her wish, by getting her mother back

I assume you're another fan of Kairomaru then w1lliam? If so, then first thank you for the measured response. You didn't come at me with another tired Theremian Argument. You plainly just stated you don't have a problem with how Kairomaru writes his fanfics so you're not inclined to agree with my criticisms. That's fair and a far less hostile way to disagree with me than what the other's have been doing.

Second, it's rather interesting how your post is worded. It can be used to disagree with me in defense of Kairomaru, but it can also be read as an agreement with me. Because you're right about this being Kairomaru's fanfic and what he says goes. I only wanted people to stop using in-universe justifications to argue with my out of universe points.

You're the first Kairomaru fan I read a pleasant post from here. I don't actually have a real problem with all of his fans, but it really didn't need to blow up into a 20+ reply chain the way it did. If the rest of them were more like you this whole argument wouldn't have gotten more than 10 replies at most.

<Moderator headband on>

Hey, folks! Stop sniping at each other. It\'s a review of a fanfic, not a world peace conference.