two retarded kids
Considering one of the kids was actually written to be autistic
, I recommend you change your wording.
Both were retards. They were told to go back and he went into this unsafe area for no bloody reason. Not to mention the security. One fat guy on ultra-dangerous white dino doesn't make any sense. How couldn't the fat guy hear the dino making those marks on the wall?
While I can understand not liking the movie and sympathize with some of your problems, this reviews as a whole feels shallow and immature. How is the I.Rex being white relevant about how the movie sucks exactly? Also stop using the term "retarded" as a synonym for stupid; it's NOT what the word means and the way you use it is kinda offfensive. Which I think is what Tuckerscreator was trying to tell you above.
This review was not very helpful or informative, as it frequently meanders, has little structure, does not do much to explain the points that it makes, and has several glaring inaccuracies.
Gray is not "retarded" and should not be considered as such; in fact, he has an incredible memory for small details about dinosaurs, which is why he seems closer to being autistic. While Zach does have a severe lapse of judgement in going through the broken fence in spite of the call to evacuate, he's otherwise of normal intelligence.
I'm not sure who you're talking about as the "chubby woman," but I don't think it's Claire; she's not fat, not even by Hollywood Pudgy standards.
The ACU unit doesn't solely use melee weapons. They're armed with guns, tazers, nets and many other things, but the I. Rex kills them all in spite of their efforts.
In conclusion, when writing your reviews, you should put more time effort and thought into ensuring that your reviews are well written, factually correct, and written in a way that effectively makes your point to the readers.
I'm not a professional critic. The only point of a review is to say if you liked it or not. No need to be fancy. It's Jurassic Park meets transformers, camera going all over the place. They sent 8 guys against a super predator. Mm. The kids were terrible. Teeny only wanted to look at girls, why is he even in this movie? It could have been Claire and raptor guy and that's all you would have needed. There's a super predator on the loose. That's your whole movie. The only reason why they put stupid kids in these movies is to appeal to kids. Claire runs around the entire movie in high heels. It doesn't make any sense. The entire movie they don't break and she never gets stuck. And my review is "factually correct." Jesus Christ.
Here's my point, dear readers. If you're feeling nostalgic, watch Jurassic Park again. This movie doesn't have any structure and it's boring.
There, see? That one is a bit better.
And no, a review's point isn't to say if you like it or not only; you also need to explain clearly WHY you think that way.
Why do you guys keep feeding this troll?
No one who uses "retard" as an insult deserves any second thought.
And that second review is also fairly stupid: This guy clearly doesn't understand the meaning of the word "structure" and he also doesn't understand that finding something "boring" is in the eye of the beholder.
He assumes just because he got lost and thus got bored everyone did, that is not the case.
I am not saying the second review is less stupid, just that it's clearer to understand.
Fact is, I watched the first Jurassic Park only, before I saw Jurassic World. Loved them both, on equal terms, liking their structures and was excited throughout both. In short, I don't think any of your points apply OP, least imo.
As for the longer version, the kids? Gray is autistic (not under-developed), and Zach merely made one stupid decision (doesn't make him permanently stupid). 'Retarded', no - it's extremely easy to label stupid as that, but that's the wrong definition. And offensive as well. Plus the kids are here because Jurassic Park is about having kids, along with adults, react to dinosaurs - kid appeal was 'long' established, so it's nothing new here
Owen training raptors isn't controlling them (unlike what you'd think), and very similar to real-life handling of other predators, like lions or tigers. That's definitely not stupid. And as stated, how is the dinosaur being white relevant? Silly, maybe, but not to a degree that you can hold it against the entire film, or even the dinosaur itself
If you're stating 'Claire' as chubby, then you need to look again; she's not even Hollywood pudgy, much less 'actual' pudgy. Claire wearing heels was because her character didn't have time/incentive to change, having to rescue her nephews - also, her actress trained extensively to wear them the entire movie, so it is possible to run around in them in real life, as well as fiction - not easy, but doable. Them not breaking is a suspension of disbelief, but not 'makes no sense'
Hoskins being fat is less disagreeable, but he's merely 'packed', not grotesquely overweight
Plus, OP, you're only 'factually correct' in your own opinion. It's not fact, period, because that's not how it works. And yes, stating a review is about whether you liked it or not, but without explaining why, it's just a statement, and therefore has no validity outside of to yourself
@phylos He may be one, but until he establishes that beyond doubt (different in each person's opinion), it's kinda instinctive to react to such 'statements'.
Plus, how was bringing back Rexie (yes, that was her; she has the raptor scars from the first movie to prove it) to fight the I. Rex not good?
Not only was the fight itself realistic imo (she's much older + out-of-practice; this thing has her DNA and is stronger, having been designed to be, as a fact; and she was fighting to show off at first, being territorial) it was a big Take That to a similar scene from III, as it's been said
Or how about visiting the Visitor's Center from the first movie, where Gray and Zach brought the jeep (THE jeep from the first movie) back to life?
"Owen training raptors isn't controlling them" - I get that. Bad word choice. " And as stated, how is the dinosaur being white relevant?" - I'm just describing what the dinosaur looks like, man. "Claire wearing heels was because her character didn't have time/incentive to change" - I don't know, high heels ain't for running, in a movie where they're hunted\in danger it just stood out to me.
phylos - calling people trolls for having an opinion you don't agree with doesn't make any sense.
You're either a troll, or a terrible review-writer. You lose either way.
You know, guys? Let's keep this civilized, shall we?
tarklas, don't know you're really serious about your review, but I agree with others here. Your review is basically describing what you've seen in the film, not what you feel about it. So yeah, Owen trains raptors, and there's a white hybrid dinosaur, so what's so bad about them both? You might think they're dumb, if so then explain why you think they're dumb. And for the camera angles like Transformers thing, for me I don't see anything bad about it. In Transformers, I can barely make out what the hell happened in each scene, but here I can understand everything that happened. The kids are terrible? Well, they were terrible since the first film for me. Kids are there to appeal kids who want to see the film, nothing more.
And for the boring part, what part of 'T-rex & raptors vs. a genetically-enhanced hybrid dinosaur that ended with said dinosaur got dragged underwater by a freakin' Mosasaurus' is boring? If anything, the action scenes are cooler than the previous movies. The part where raptors ambushed the guys in the forest was very well executed by its numerous jump scares and the appropriate BGM.
The only thing really bad about this movie is the fact that many characters have to hold Idiot Ball in order to advance the plot, something The Lost World already did before, so it's nothing new. The fact that most people preferred it over that film can tell that this film did something right about it. We pay the tickets to see Jurassic World in all its glory, but the plot isn't about JW, it's about a hybrid dinosaur rampage, so the filmmakers need to spend the time to develop that story element, too. The I.rex had to go on rampage, that's why people do stupid things, otherwise there wouldn't be the movie.
And finally, Claire's freakin' high-heels. So much debate over this. Personally I find it (the debate) stupid to argue over. It's either that or going barefoot in the jungle, and okay, she could've taken them off by the time she reached T-Rex's paddock, she had much more important things on her mind, and adrenaline that kicked in makes people do cool things. I don't find that so strange...
And there you have it, my thoughts about your review and the movie. I'm sure you had your reasons for hating it, but you could at least give a better explanation for it.
Leave a Comment:
Jurassic Awful
He trains raptors, there's a white dinosaur, two retarded kids, camera goes all over the place, one chubby woman and some fat guy that wants dinosaurs as weapons. Is it good? No. Apparently nobody is interested in dinosaurs anymore which is why the white dinosaur is in the movie. The security is laughable and it escapes immediately and they try to capture it with... melee weapons. Yeah, that's going to work, guys. Great job. There's nothing good about this movie. The only thing I liked was the running scene with the raptors, that was cool.