Well, violent crimes like assault are more likely to be committed by men, but that's more of a culture thing than anything; what with the general feeling that 'real men' don't take anything without fighting back, even if it means starting a bar fight because someone cussed at you.
Men Are Tough, need I say more?
I agree with you that violence isn't masculine or feminine (and that deriding women for being able to kick ass isn't feminist). I will say, though, that violence is often coded as "masculine" behavior in society. It isn't inherent to men, but it's considered a masculine virtue due to gender roles. Same with women and how being "nurturing" is considered feminine. I think, perhaps, (though I can't speak for her) that Anita's point may have been that women are only seen as good/strong characters when they express masculine virtues (such as violence). It ties back into how the masculine is often perceived to be superior to the feminine, which is why it's okay for women to wear pants but men who want to wear dresses will freak people out.
I remember a quote here on TV Tropes by Julia Serano that said “while most reasonable people see women and men as equals, few (if any) dare to claim that femininity is masculinity's equal."
I think this MAY be what Anita was trying to say. But I'm not certain. Either way, I do think we need to move away from associating certain behaviors or traits with men or women. Violence and nurturing are HUMAN behaviors, like you said.
I have my doubts, given that she chose to object to ActionGirls, who defy the gender norms that code women as being 'not dangerous,' and as a result only reenforces the gender norms and double standards involved.
If this was what she was trying to say, then why not complain about the lack of nurturing male heroes? Or talk about examples of them with an emphasis on how few they are?
(And can we have a game or two where you're given a goal that is not violence, and the rewards are according to pure pragmatism? Stick me with hauling my infant kid through an ongoing apocalypse and have what I get rewarded for be choosing whatever path is most likely to succeed in keeping myself and my kid alive—which may sometimes mean yes, violence, but can also mean avoiding it. MamaBears are nurturing, too.)
Anita seems to not know, or confuse, the difference between 'feminism' and 'femininity'. She seems to think that, in order to be a feminist, you need to be demure, pacifistic and always solve things with words, rather than actions. Because any action is likely seen as a 'masculine' thing to do, which means you are not a feminist.
I could go on, but basically, Anita doesn't know what she's talking about and needs to stop it.
Ooh look, someone who thinks they know better!
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Wrong on so many levels
I have a problem with this Anita Sarkeesian. The way she thinks that violence is associated with masculinity and that characters like Action Girls aren't feminist or acting like Zoe from Firefly or Mattie Ross aren aren't a feminist character. (At this point I have to say that I'm a guy.) The problem I have with those assertians actually comes from the fact those characters remind me a whole hell of a lot in they're mannerisms and actions of my mother, who's influence is one of the reasons I consider my self a feminist. At this point its frugal to say that my mother (and father) are both ex-military and that brings me to my next point.
She seems to think that most violence is inherently masculine abnd in doing so incorrectly boils down a complex issue to one easily identifiable scapegoat. Violence happens for many reasons, economic reasons, personal reasons, and then the fact that some people just like hurting people like serial killers, like the son of sam or Elizabeth Bathory. Which you will notice that as I just pointed out, you will find both men and women who are serial killers. Men far more often but the point stands. Violence is neither inherently masculine or feminine, It just is.
However at the same time violence can often simply be the last resort means to an end. On rare occasions there is a problem that can only be solved by putting the other guy in the ground and to say otherwise is extremely naive. ((If you can tell I don't think much of total pacifism)