There's a certain level of story hell beyond the simple paint-by-numbers method to crafting a story approved by the marketing department, and that level is achieved by this movie as it fails to even stay inside the lines with those paints.
Things just happen in this movie because they're what the filmmakers think the audience expects to happen in a Spider-Man movie. Spidey stops a criminal while making wisecracks. Peter has poor luck with the girls. Being Spider-Man interferes with Peter's life. This becomes a problem when these things are done without any thought to how they should form a cohesive story and the result is an utterly disjointed mess. Peter, notably, is particularly out of character in the execution of these setpeices. No, Peter, you are not being romantic in stalking Gwen, it's just creepy. There's also Hallucinatory Denis Leary; it's one thing to have a metaphor for guilt over a broken promise, and then there's ramming the metaphor into the ground so hard that you can't help but wonder why Peter doesn't see a therapist because he's constantly seeing a dead person making faces at him.
Worse, the movie can't decide what kind of formula it wants to be in the first place. It's seriously grasping at Twilight's scraps and is more of a "teen paranormal romance" than a superhero movie. The romance is beyond insufferable. The writing is horrendous, with nonsensical, unbelievable dialog (a problem not just shared by the romance subplot, but by far the worst during said subplot.) One can't help but wonder what idiot thought recreating the infamous laughing scene from Final Fantasy X was a good idea. I'm sorry I ever criticized Raimi's second Spidey movie for having the unnecessary "Peter loses his powers over guilt/stress/being unable to bang MJ because a villain will threaten her" subplot, because this is so much worse.
I don't even have enough words to describe how ridiculous Electro is in this movie. He's such a walking cliche that the nerds from Revenge of the Nerds would make fun of him. His own little bit of pre-transformation insanity, like Peter stalking Gwen and other nonsense, is also way too over the top.
In an era where many superhero movies can actually be taken seriously, this movie is a two hour flashback to Batman & Robin. Avoid like the plague.
Worse Than Formulaic
There's a certain level of story hell beyond the simple paint-by-numbers method to crafting a story approved by the marketing department, and that level is achieved by this movie as it fails to even stay inside the lines with those paints.
Things just happen in this movie because they're what the filmmakers think the audience expects to happen in a Spider-Man movie. Spidey stops a criminal while making wisecracks. Peter has poor luck with the girls. Being Spider-Man interferes with Peter's life. This becomes a problem when these things are done without any thought to how they should form a cohesive story and the result is an utterly disjointed mess. Peter, notably, is particularly out of character in the execution of these setpeices. No, Peter, you are not being romantic in stalking Gwen, it's just creepy. There's also Hallucinatory Denis Leary; it's one thing to have a metaphor for guilt over a broken promise, and then there's ramming the metaphor into the ground so hard that you can't help but wonder why Peter doesn't see a therapist because he's constantly seeing a dead person making faces at him.
Worse, the movie can't decide what kind of formula it wants to be in the first place. It's seriously grasping at Twilight's scraps and is more of a "teen paranormal romance" than a superhero movie. The romance is beyond insufferable. The writing is horrendous, with nonsensical, unbelievable dialog (a problem not just shared by the romance subplot, but by far the worst during said subplot.) One can't help but wonder what idiot thought recreating the infamous laughing scene from Final Fantasy X was a good idea. I'm sorry I ever criticized Raimi's second Spidey movie for having the unnecessary "Peter loses his powers over guilt/stress/being unable to bang MJ because a villain will threaten her" subplot, because this is so much worse.
I don't even have enough words to describe how ridiculous Electro is in this movie. He's such a walking cliche that the nerds from Revenge of the Nerds would make fun of him. His own little bit of pre-transformation insanity, like Peter stalking Gwen and other nonsense, is also way too over the top.
In an era where many superhero movies can actually be taken seriously, this movie is a two hour flashback to Batman & Robin. Avoid like the plague.