06:09:02 PM Jan 27th 2013
Removed these from the main page on grounds of total incoherence, but given the amount of work that's obviously gone into them, am preserving them in case anyone wants to take a crack at translating:
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: Bertie relates Jeeves the descent and fall of Augustus Fink-Nottle from Newts as a harmless hobbie to a dark obsession:
Bertie ...Well, Gussie has always been a slave to them. He used to keep them at school.Jeeves I believe young gentlemen frequently do, sir.Bertie He kept them in his study in a kind of glass-tank arrangement, and pretty niffy the whole thing was, I recall. I suppose one ought to have been able to see what the end would be even then, but you know what boys are. Careless, heedless, busy about our own affairs, we scarcely gave this kink in Gussie's character a thought. We may have exchanged an occasional remark about it taking all sorts to make a world, but nothing more. You can guess the sequel. The trouble spread,Jeeves Indeed, sir?Bertie Absolutely, Jeeves. The craving grew upon him. The newts got him. Arrived at man's estate, he retired to the depths of the country and gave his life up to these dumb chums. I suppose he used to tell himself that he could take them or leave them alone, and then found—too late—that he couldn't.Jeeves It is often the way, sir.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: At Right Ho, Jeeves, Bertie admits he is one when his aunt Dahlia wants him to come at once:
Bertie ... But why, Jeeves? Dash it all, she's just had nearly two months of me.Jeeves Yes, sir.Bertie And many people consider the medium dose for an adult two days.Jeeves Yes, sir. I appreciate the point you raise.
Bertie ''Ah, well," I said, "we must see what can be done. Things may brighten. At any rate, you will be glad to learn that I am behind you in this enterprise. You have Bertram Wooster in your corner, Gussie."Gussie Thanks, old man. And Jeeves, of course, which is the thing that really matters.
- Being the embodiment of Stop Helping Me!, there are some reasons to put up with Bertie: Seniority (going with someone to school together is Serious Business), Pity, Supervision (Jeeves) and most of all, he is The Team Benefactor, providing the solution to all problems: