Romance

Facial identifier software (or someone who inputs data into such software) could probably isolate it for you. It's definitely a field extensively studied, because face has a lot to do with our first impression of people period, let alone for romantic measures, and these psychological responses can have huge impacts.

Y'know, I'd be interested in taking one of those tests. Do you have one you'd recommend?

It would be interesting to try it out sometime. It's definitely related to conventional attractiveness to an extent, but the thing that separates it as a subset is unknown to me.

? I didn't know anything about tests, exactly. I'm just saying it's probably out there, something that could take a picture of your face and then suggest how people tend to react to it (or how some people do, anyway).

Or if you mean earlier tests i referred to, 'tis all okcupid. Hundreds of questions, apparently.

I assumed you had some examples of "facial identifier software" to use to figure out what, exactly, is attractive to you.

Thousands. It's not really a test or quiz—they encourage you to answer a minimum number of questions, like 25 or something, but there are tons of questions and you can answer as many as you want, in as many sittings as you want. Sometimes I log in and answer a bunch of questions just for fun.

I think the full website tells you how many questions you've answered, but the phone app isn't showing me that number. I know it's a shit-ton, though.

edited 30th Apr '15 1:57:59 PM by SolipSchism

While I do have specific details I enjoy specifically in peoples' appearance - eyes and mouth, for example - it's very much impossibubble for me to give any bullshit criteria up front that would make it easy for me to "filter" people by "degree of attractiveness". I either find a person attractive as is, or I do not. There is no middle ground, and there is no magic line that can be crossed by summing up factors.

Man, you guys make it sound like dating sites are actually fun as well as being an exploit created by today's hyper-networked world.

Urge to break personal rules and use online dating rising...

OKC is turning into something that's not so much "Dating site" as "Social network that specializes in dating".

So it's turned into Fetlife for vanilla people? o.O

I'm pretty sure you can still join OK Cupid if you're into kink. Just, y'know, mention that so you don't have to spring your BDSM dungeon on people who aren't into that.

I meant in that it's basically a social network that also supposedly helps with the dating thing.

I finally asked and she said yes! I've got a date on Saturday!

That's awesome, Kes. :D

-huggles-

Congratulations!

@Nova: They aren't assigned genders, the doctors simply identify the sex of the child they just delivered. It's impossible to tell how someone identifies from the second they are born.

I dunno about that. The phrase they use is "It's a boy/girl!" not "It has a penis/vagina!"

And lots of parents tend to colour-code their kids' stuff, buy them "boy toys/girl toys" depending on their sex, and basically, yes, kids are assigned genders before they probably should be.

edited 30th Apr '15 2:36:45 PM by Mukora

So is the parent supposed to refer to their child as "they/xe" until they eventually discover their gender identity? (not being sarcastic or passive-aggressive, I'm legitimately curious)

edited 30th Apr '15 2:40:38 PM by Konkfan7

Hehehehe, you said "boy toys".

I'm also legit curious about the answer to this question.

edited 30th Apr '15 2:44:37 PM by SolipSchism

Yes. That's exactly what they should do. I won't say it's easy to avoid falling into standard gendering, but as a parent it is your responsibility to make sure your kids love themselves. If you teach your kids from an early age that they don't have to identify themselves by what's between their legs, it'll be a no-brainer for them to accept being transgender or nonbinary.

edited 30th Apr '15 2:46:19 PM by Mukora

And what about naming them? Should gender-specific names not be a thing anymore?

I'd say it's fine to give your kid a gender-specific name if only because that's what you have to do, legally, but, like, if they want to change it let them. If you name your kid "Barbara" and they tell you they want to be "Bob" let them.

EDIT: I think it's important to note that (for now, anyway) I am cisgender. So I could be wrong about this. I'm probably not the best person to be asking this stuff, and I could probably do some more research into what people who aren't cis think about it.

edited 30th Apr '15 2:50:36 PM by Mukora

I dunno. I think it makes more sense to make a good-faith best-guess but be open-minded. Make sure to expose them to different kinds of people. When your child is old enough to be able to fully understand this kind of thing, if they identify as something other than what they were assigned, let it go.

I do believe it'd be better if gender wasn't even a social thing, i.e., literally no such thing as gender-specific clothing or names, in which case it would make perfect sense to just not worry about your child's gender identity until they're old enough to tell you themselves, but that's not going to happen in my lifetime. It probably won't happen at all until we all have Crystal Spires and Togas.

Coglaturation, Kesa .