Romance

Did you two even talk about it?

Yes

Did you tell her how you felt?

@Kesa: I don't what to say, but if you ever need to PM, we're here.

@tehjinx:'they'? It's a polyamory sort of thing?

I did throw a copy of the flier for the Spring Gala in Shiva's mailbox. Along with two other mailboxes i picked out at random. Because i am a coward and god of mixed signals.

Although i have a week to fix that. Spring Break. Not sure what she's up to, but i'm going to be working at school most of the week (offices are still open).

sorry kesa.

@Kesa: Aw, I'm sorry to hear that.

My advice is to allow yourself some catharsis first. Lock yourself in your room, put on sad music, have a stiff drink or seven... cry your heart out. Then once you've calmed down a bit, talk it over with good friends. (This part is very important: communication with, and sympathy from, other human beings. It's very hard to regain peace of mind all by yourself.)

This is what I do after a breakup or particularly painful rejection, and it's always worked for me so far. Now, I don't really know you all that well, but like Quag said, we're all here for you if you need to talk.

@Odd1: Nope, I'd never heard of the band at all. It's just not really my genre; when it comes to The '60s, I prefer the more bluesy stuff (Stones, CCR, Allman Bros., Hendrix, Zeppelin, etc.).

Anyway! As announced, I went for drinks with Charlie, Dave, Eleanor and Fred last night. Well, minus Dave, who bailed on us just a few hours in advance. (Seriously, Dave, not cool.) Apart from that it went all right, I guess... Charlie and Fred did go on and on about advanced physics and mathematics, as they are wont to do. Now, I'm studying engineering myself, but sometimes I'd just like to talk about each others' personal lives or political views, rather than the finesses of whatever intricate signal-processing function Charlie uses to detect exoplanets. The embarrassing thing is that Eleanor also knows a lot about astronomy and was listening with interest much of the time, so I occasionally felt like the stupidest person at the table – which was probably true I did have some one-on-one conversations with her, which was nice.

I'm now 90% sure she's not interested in anything more than friendship... but I think I'm going to roll with the remaining 10% and ask her out. My inner Protestant (who's been getting more and more vocal over the past year) is yelling at me that it would be pointlessly melodramatic, that I should swallow my pride and not bother her with such a stupid request. But hey, you can't make romance without some Catholic passion

@Keggy: Sorry to hear that, but don' kid yourself that this is the best you'll ever get. You're young, and College is around the bend. You'll find someone there for sure.

And in the mean time, you won't be comparing yourself to anyone else, which'll make it easier to build self-esteem.

Nah, things can only get better.

As long as you don't get the occasional side effect of Catholic guilt, you should be fine.

Your Eleanor sounds like a great person. And she seems to be very intellectual, which is a plus.

@Terl: Even if that's true, it sure doesn't feel like it right now.

Nah, I don't feel guilt. It's not my fault, if it's God's plan; He made the devil so much stronger than a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan...

(protect me, Maria)

And yeah, Eleanor is very smart and knowledgeable. She often complains about her courses not being enough of a challenge, and on our first meet-up we discussed French and Spanish grammatical constructions, among other things.

edited 7th Mar '15 7:17:16 AM by MidnightRambler

I know it's a horrible idea, but I want to call her and try to talk things over. I know it'd be better to wait until I see her in person, but I wish I could try and fix it now.

Right. I asked her out; she agreed we matched well, but said she just wanted to be friends; we talked for a bit and agreed we'd keep meeting up, but without any hints of courtship.

I can't say I really feel sad or frustrated – like I said, I saw this coming. Just a little... lost, I guess. As in, 'OK, so what do I do now?'

So, did you call her? How did it go?

edited 7th Mar '15 1:54:22 PM by MidnightRambler

I didn't do it, which is probably for the best. I still feel pretty damn awful anyway though.

Tried to take my mind off things by going to the flea market, but then I remembered that the road to it was where I always picked her Indian Paintbrushes. Had to sit down for a while after that.

edited 7th Mar '15 1:57:05 PM by Kesagake

Well, if you still like to hang out with her, just be her friend. Besides, in time perhaps you would have the chance of her introducing her female friends to you. I'm sure she'd be ok with that.

Also, straightening things out from the start is good, wouldn't you say? Now, you're not left hanging in some sort of 'emotional purgatory', and you can continue.

My condolences, anyway.

edited 7th Mar '15 1:57:32 PM by Quag15

x6

Of course it don't feel that way, you just got dumped. That stuff hurts no matter how it goes down.

Nonetheless with time, distance, and other pursuits, things will eventually look up.

@Quag: Thanks

As for the "what now" question, I'm toying with the idea of joining a dating site (an idea which has periodically popped up over the past few months). I used to be really against the idea; I saw it as a cop-out, a cheat code, and an admission of defeat. Then gradually my position softened to "okay, if I'm still single by the time I graduate from university, I'll give it a shot"... and now I'm tempted to throw that criterion overboard as well and just try it right now. It can't hurt to have seen what it's like, at least.

On the other hand, I'm 21. I don't think there will be a lot of girls in my age range who use dating sites, not for serious relationships at any rate.

You'd be surprised. I assumed much the same (although i'm 25) although many of my friends seem to be using them quite widely. My roommate was using plentyoffish for casual hookups and had an almost literal Girl of the Week system going for a while (though for what it's worth, he found his lasting relationship through a play he was doing)

I think I want to give Okcupid more use. I'm not too thrilled at going around town meeting people my age just so I can find a gf somewhen. I am looking at my local area through Okcupid, and wow, writing in english feels weird since in my country most people only speak spanish.

Now, I may only be 18, but I don't think I could ever use a dating site. It's a boring story to tell your kids, and not very romantic.

Then again, I do spend most of my time on the internet...

I think there is a bit of a conflict of interests.

edited 8th Mar '15 6:20:55 PM by EpicBleye

... I may have said this before, but isn't it funny how love is essentially a double-edged sword?

Makes you feel happier than you've ever been, but can also make you feel sadder than you've ever been.

I don't think I'm the exciting type. I know I'm not too dramatic, so I accept I won't be the most flashy person out there. I'm surprised to know I have more people in my own town than I ever thought.Of course, I don´t want to sound desperate, so I will date after 3 days of speaking. Then I will fire the date idea.

That's why it's so interesting and why it generated a whole lifetime of songs, movies and books on it.

As long as things don't go too fast or too slow, things should be fine. Go out there and meet people, regardless of romantic intentions or not.

edited 8th Mar '15 6:41:47 PM by Quag15

Ah... I see that now.

Well, hot girl who I talk to frequently at the bakery turned out to have a partner. :/

My face when.

My feel when.