Make your own Magic card!

Concrete Donkey - 5
Legendary Artifact
When ~ enters the battlefield, it deals 1 damage to target creature.
When a creature dealt damage by ~ dies this turn, ~ deals 1 damage to target creature.
At the beginning of your end step, sacrifice ~.
And a voice from the sky said "Let there be a donkey, a great big concrete one!" And Boggy B became flatter.

edited 17th Jun '17 11:14:10 PM by kagescorpionakki

edited 18th Jun '17 8:13:46 AM by StephanReiken

Deeper Darkness BBB
Enchantment
Cumulative upkeep B
Prevent all combat damage dealt by each nonblack creature by an amount equal to half of that creature's power, rounded up.

edited 22nd Jun '17 5:30:46 AM by ImperialSunlight

• Chromium, Planeswalker 5WUB
• Planeswalker - Chromium
• +2: Scry 2 and target creature gets "for each creature blocking this creature until end of turn, it gets +2 / +2 until end of turn.
• +1: Target creature gains Shroud until the end of the opponent's next turn.
• -3: Target creature gets -5 / -5 and if it dies this turn, exile it instead.
• -9: Up to 5 target creatures get -5 / -5 until end of turn, Scry 10, and target creature you control gets +5 / +5
• 5 Starting Loyalty

• Vaevictis Asmadi, Planeswalker 5BRG
• Planeswalker - Asmadi
• +3: Target creature gets +1 / +0 for each Swamp, Forest and Mountain you control.
• +0: Target creature you control Fights target creature you don't control
• -3: Create 1 5 / 5 Black Red and Green Zombie Dragon creature token with Flying named Scion of Asmadi, then this Token fights target creature you don't control.
• -12: All creatures you control get +6 / +6, Flying, Trample and Double Strike until end of turn.
• Starting Loyalty 5

The Champion of Champions 1WW
Legendary Creature - Knight
Vigilance
At the beginning of your upkeep, look at the top card of your library. If it's a legendary creature or planeswalker, put it into your hand, then gain 1 life for each legendary creature or planeswalker you control.
2/3

edited 30th Jun '17 6:22:53 AM by ImperialSunlight

• Meowcifer, the Endless Purr 3WBG
• Legendary Creature - Cat
• First Strike, Vigilance
• During your upkeep, lose X life and draw X cards, where X is the number of Cats you control.
• When a Cat you control deals combat damage to a player, put a +1 / +1 counter on it. Cats you control with +1 / +1 counters gain Lifelink.
• 4 / 5

edited 5th Jul '17 12:24:25 AM by NickTheSwing

• Unhallowed Isamaru B
• Legendary Creature - Zombie Hound
• 2/2

edited 5th Jul '17 12:33:59 AM by M84

An Eye for an Eye - 3BR
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may destroy target creature or artifact. If you do, that permanent's controller gains control of ~.
...makes the whole world dead.

edited 10th Aug '17 12:19:41 PM by kagescorpionakki

Meditative Atmosphere (1U)
Enchantment
Creatures you control enter the battlefield tapped.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, scry 1.

Scrying Pan - 4
Artifact
{T}, Sacrifice a creature: Scry X, where X is twice that creature's toughness.
Yum. Deep fried third eyeballs.

Scry and Fry - 3UR
Enchantment
Whenever you scry, you may have ~ deal 1 damage to target creature or player.

Frying Pan (3)
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature has "(1R), (T): Exile target creature card from a graveyard, then put a +1/+1 counter on a creature you control if a card was exiled this way."
Whenever a blue noncreature spell targeting equipped creature resolves, transform ~.
Equip (2)
——
Drying Pan
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature has protection from blue noncreature spells.
(2R): Transform ~.

Secret Identity (1U)
Enchantment
You have hexproof during each opponent's turn.
Whenever you cast a spell, if it is not your turn, sacrifice ~.

Inspired by the new Enrage mechanic:

Wicked Goad 3
Artifact
3, tap: Deal 1 damage to target creature, then deal another 1 damage to that creature.

Furyshield Warrior (2RG)
Creature - Human Warrior
3/3
Creatures you control have toughness equal to their power.

Caller of Lost Souls 2WB
Creature - Human Cleric
Spirits you control get +1/+1.
When Caller of Lost Souls enters the battlefield, create two 1/0 black spirit minion creature tokens with swampwalk. Whenever another nontoken cleric enters the battlefield, create one of these tokens.
1/3

Yeah, I'm pretty iffy on the wording too, but I don't really like the ways it can be balanced in the other ways, so it's kind of awkward. :/

edited 2nd Sep '17 12:38:48 PM by ImperialSunlight

The phrasing on that last line sounds a little awkward, but I'm not sure how they'd phrase it on a real card.

I think generally they just wouldn't bother to split the effect, so it would be "When Caller of Lost Souls or another nontoken cleric enters the battlefield, create one/two 1/0 black spirit minion creature tokens with swampwalk."

Conceivably it could go something like this:

"When Caller of Lost Souls enters the battlefield, create two 1/0 black Spirit Minion creature tokens with swampwalk. Whenever another nontoken cleric enters the battlefield, create one of those tokens."

Peace at Last - 7WW
Enchantment
Creatures can't attack.
All players and other permanents have hexproof.
The bloodlust faded. Hate and cruelty gave way to regret, and as one the warring armies lay down their weapons and embraced one another like old friends.

Yeah, I like that a lot better, thanks.

Riding a Black Unicorn Down the Side of an Erupting Volcano While Drinking from a Chalice Filled With the Laughter of Small Children! 3RB
Enchantment
When "Riding a Black Unicorn..." enters the battlefield, if you control a mountain, create a 3/3 indestructible black unicorn token with first strike, haste and "Whenever another creature enters the battlefield under your control, it gains first strike and haste."
BBB, pay 1 life: Draw a card.

Hard to word this.

edited 3rd Sep '17 8:09:57 AM by StephanReiken

These were attempts to fix Sorrow's Path whilst keeping the absurd drawback. Not sure if OP.

Sorrow's Mire
Land
Whenever ~ becomes tapped, it deals 2 damage to you and each creature you control.
{T}: Draw a card.
The trial is simple. The path is clear. The reward is great... for those who survive.

Sorrow's Boon
Land
~ enters the battlefield tapped.
When ~ enters the battlefield, choose a color.
Whenever ~ becomes tapped, it deals 2 damage to you and each creature you control.
{T}: Add two mana of the chosen color to your mana pool.

Deranged Mind Mage (3UU)
Creature - Human Wizard
(5UU), (T): You gain control of target player, and that player gains control of you. (You see all cards that player could see and make all decisions for that player, and that player does the same to you.) ~ does not untap during its controller's next untap step.
1/2
"Have you ever wanted to walk a mile in another's shoes?"

Karmic Backlash (1B)
Sorcery
Target player discards their hand, then sacrifices permanents equal to the number of cards discarded this way.
At the beginning of your next game, exile your library.

With Enrage in mind...hm, pretty good ideas.

• Parallaxus Paradox 2UUURRR
• Enchantment
• During each player's draw step, if there are cards in the graveyard, instead of drawing from their deck they randomly add one card from any player's graveyard to their hand. During each player's combat step, instead of dealing damage normally, each player involved in combat sends a card from the top of another player's deck to the graveyard, and each attacking or defending creature deals damage equal to the converted mana cost of whatever was sent to the graveyard. Each player has four upkeep phases, and six end steps.
• I have no idea what I just did to you guys.-Parallaxus

edited 9th Sep '17 12:06:50 AM by NickTheSwing

The Ovalchase
Plane - Kaladesh
Vehicles have haste.
Chaos: Create a 6/1 vehicle artifact token with crew 1 and trample.

Revised

edited 9th Sep '17 6:20:17 AM by StephanReiken

Drink of the World - 3BRG
Sorcery
Destroy three target lands. For each land destroyed this way, its controller loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.
The same forces that bring life to the soil can be twisted to take it away.

Some characters I created as a pair. Should clarify that the second is actually a wolf-woman, not a normal dog (that'd be kind of weird).

Aelrys Faesmith - 4UBR
Legendary Creature - Faerie Artificer
Flying, Haste
{U}{B}{R}, {T}: Search your library for an equipment card and put it onto the battlefield. You may attach it to another Legendary creature you control.
~ has Hexproof as long as you control another Legendary creature.
Partner
1/5

Elyzabeth Arneson - 4WRG
Legendary Creature - Hound Warrior
Trample, First Strike
Whenever ~ attacks or blocks, you may untap another target creature you control. Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to that creature this turn.
Partner
4/4

Aaaand for flavor:

Elly's Ring - 4
Legendary Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gets +0/+1.
As long as equipped creature has Partner and is a Legendary Hound, it has hexproof and gets an additional +3/+3.
Equip - 4
"As long as we love eachother, nothing can ever take us apart."
- Aelrys, to Elyzabeth