Make your own Magic card!

Donald Trump - 1B
Legendary Creature - Human Horror
Fading 4
When ~ enters the battlefield, ~ becomes the monarch.
Players can't become the monarch.
0/1

edited 11th Jan '17 9:21:18 AM by kagescorpionakki

Inflamed Evocations 2RR
Enchantment
If a creature entering the battlefield under your control would cause a triggered ability of a permanent you control to trigger, sacrifice that creature when it enters the battlefield and copy each of those abilities. You may choose new targets for the copies.
In a mage's manifestation of beings of pure aether, great power can be released. For such mages, the creations themselves are often a mere afterthought.

edited 13th Jan '17 5:37:54 PM by ImperialSunlight

Mindless Mine Thrower - 3
Artifact Creature - Golem
{T}: ~ deals 2 damage to target attacking creature.
0/5
Land mines can be useful against aerial foes, provided you can toss them hard enough.

A mindless mine thrower that untaps on every upkeep and always hucks a mine at an attacker during the combat phase if able would also be funny.

• Parallaxus' Expertise 2UBRG
• Sorcery
• Roll a six sided die three times and activate the following effects depending on the results;
• 1; destroy target land
• 2; destroy target creature
• 3; draw 2 cards
• 4; destroy all permanents
• 5; your opponent puts the top 10 cards of their deck into their graveyard
• 6; put target creature from your library into play.
• I have no idea what I'm doing, but its better than doing nothing! -Parallaxus
• Depicts Parallaxus in the sky of Kaladesh, his random result magic causing any number of bizarre things to happen to Consulate forces.

Crown of the Pants-less King - 4
Artifact
Remove your pants: draw a card. Activate this ability only once each turn. (Underpants count as pants.)
Whenever you put pants on, discard a card.
"Home is where the pants aren't."
-Inscription

edited 19th Jan '17 3:28:19 PM by kagescorpionakki

Alek Norrinson (2R)
Legendary Creature - Human Coward
2/2
Whenever ~ becomes the target of a spell or ability, exile it with one time counter on it. It gains suspend.
"Dad's problem was that he always came racing back too soon."

Garrk, Gnollish Brawler BRG
Legendary Creature - Hyena Warrior
Trample, Flanking
BRG: Whenever Garrk attacks this turn, he gains double strike.
Even in his exile, Garrk never had the misfortune of learning how to fight fair.
3/2

Thorik Fireforge 1WG
Legendary Creature - Elf Dwarf Cleric
Vigilance
W, Tap: Prevent all damage that would be dealt by target instant.
G, Tap, exile Thorik: Search your library for a basic land card and put it into play tapped, then shuffle your library.
"In search of Duin's light, I will wander forever."
2/5

(Thorik is a paladin, but of a rangery god, and not really nobility, so in magic terms, he could be, like.... anything from cleric to druid to scout to knight... I'm going with cleric since I can only likely fit one on the typeline)

Nadim the Elevated RRR
Legendary Creature - Monkey Cleric
Prowess, Double Strike
Whenever you are targetted by a spell, Nadim gets +2/+0 until end of turn.
1/3

Edit: Ah, right. Thanks for pointing that out. It was meant to wear off at end of turn.

edited 27th Feb '17 3:31:59 PM by ImperialSunlight

That last one might need a counter of some kind to keep track, since it doesn't wear off at end of turn.

Card tax:

Anarchy Stack (3R)
Enchantment
Whenever a creature you don't control dies, put a chaos counter on ~.
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, put a chaos counter on ~.
If ~ has ten or more chaos counters on it, whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, ~ deals 2 damage to a random creature you don't control. If ~ has twenty or more chaos counters, ~ deals 4 damage instead.

This depends on gnoll society, but Garrk might work with the flavor text reading, "Thanks to his exile..."

He's exiled from his own kind, but now lives among humans (Hence the expectation that he may have adapted and suddenly become honorable and civilized, but nope. There are still plenty of ways to get by illegally in human society). Gnoll society definitely doesn't make any bones about underhandedness as it is in his setting. They do make bones about you being too lazy to make token tribute to their dark gods, though, unfortunately for Garrk.

edited 27th Feb '17 3:58:38 PM by ImperialSunlight

Dispell Magic

0

Destroy All Cards, regain one life.

edited 6th Mar '17 1:02:41 PM by ScrewySqrl

Suddenly Bear - GG
Instant
You may put a Bear creature card from your hand onto the battlefield. If you do, that creature enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it.
You're running around and SUDDENLY BEAR.

• Bear Hug GG
• Sorcery
• You gain 2 life. You gain 4 life instead if you control a Bear.
• Svane did not know what happened - one moment he was sure the beast would attack, the next, it instead wrapped him in its arms for a hug.

Human Resources (1UB)
Enchantment
Whenever a creature dies, put a stockpile counter on ~.
Remove a stockpile counter from ~: Add C to your mana pool. Spend this mana only on noncreature spells.
He put his whole heart into it. Or someone's heart, anyway.

I really like that one, but I think it'd be more fitting as black-green.

In black/green it would want to work on creature spells. Which isn't a knock against the idea, necessarily; it's just not the flavour I was trying to go for.

Card tax:

Iron-Forged Demon (4BB)
Artifact Creature - Demon
5/4
Trample
When ~ dies, create a 4/4 black Demon creature token with flying.
The ancients trapped them in iron statues. Their solution proved less than viable.

I misread "noncreature" as "creature," as it happens!

Timeshare 2U
Sorcery
Target opponent takes an extra turn after this one, then you take an extra turn.

Bas the Glorious 2WG
Legendary Creature - Cat
Hexproof, First Strike
When Bas enters the battlefield, choose one:
*Return a cat creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield tapped.
*Return a creature card from your graveyard to your hand.
*Gain 3 life.
Embalm 3WG
1/2

edited 6th Apr '17 5:43:34 AM by ImperialSunlight

So he could get nine lives by having his mummy bounce him into your hand?

No, because embalm has exiling the card from the graveyard as part of it's cost.

There are potential commander shenanigans with any legendary embalm creature though.

• Wild Draw Four - WRUG
• Sorcery
• During the next player's draw phase they draw an additional 3 cards and then end their turn.
• End this turn after ~ Resolves

edited 8th Apr '17 9:54:28 PM by StephanReiken

Just read about the Stranglehold card. This seems perfectly suited for screwing over Blue decks.

This gave me an idea for another, rrm, what're they called? Cycles, yes. Two-color card enchantments themed around two "allied" colors screwing over the color they both hate.

A Red-Green enchantment that shuts down all Blue associated tactics, for example, moreso than the above mentioned card. Ideas?

The obvious would be "Spells cannot be countered" a blue hate effect that both Green and Red get.