Make your own Magic card!

Form of the Bear 1G
Enchantment
During your attack step, you may deal 2 damage to target player. That player may have a creature they control take 2 damage to prevent this damage. If they do so, you take damage equal to that creature's power.
At the beginning of each end step, your life total becomes 2.
"Why would you do this?"

Edit: Well, at least I didn't call it attack again...

edited 19th Apr '14 9:47:03 AM by ImperialSunlight

lol Shock gg no re

Unbearable Torment (1B)
Enchantment — Aura Curse
Enchant player
Enchanted player can't play spells with "bear" in its name.
Enchanted player can't play activated abilities of permanents with "bear" in its name.
This is the cross, you bear.

It's power, not strength.

edited 19th Apr '14 9:35:28 AM by Knowlessman

Parody Janeway (3UBR)
Legendary Creature - Human Soldier
4/4
First strike
Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, ~ deals 1 damage to that creature.
Whenever a creature you control dies, draw a card.
She only settles for the captain's chair because Starfleet protocol is very strict on the subject of thrones of skulls.

Cane of Atheros (2WB)
Legendary Enchantment Artifact
Whenever a creature you don't control dies, you may exile it.
(WB), (T), Pay X life: Return target creature card in your graveyard with converted mana cost X to the battlefield.

Gauntlet of Keranos (2UR)
Legendary Enchantment Artifact
Whenever you scry, draw a card, then put a card from your hand on top of your library.
(XUR), (T): ~ deals 1 damage to up to X target creatures. Tap those creatures. They don't untap during their controller's next untap step.

Mortar of Pharika (1BG)
Legendary Enchantment Artifact
Whenever a creature card enters or leaves a graveyard, you may gain 1 life.
(BG), (T): Regenerate target creature.

Javelin of Iroas (1RW)
Legendary Enchantment Artifact
Whenever a creature you don't control dies, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control that dealt damage to that creature this turn.
(1RW), (T): ~ deals damage equal to the number of attacking creatures to target blocking creature.

Shroud of Kruphix (2UG)
Legendary Enchantment Artifact
You and untapped creatures you control have hexproof.
(UG), (T): Draw a card. Activate this ability only if you have drawn two or more cards this turn.

These five were a bit more difficult than the last five. Partially because Keranos and Kruphix don't really seem to be holding/wearing much that looks like an artifact. So I decided that if you look at them the right way, they could be seen as wearing gauntlets and a hood, respectively.

Not sure how black the Cane's static ability is, but at least I think it fits flavorfully. All mana costs are subject to change.

edited 20th Apr '14 3:30:10 PM by IrishZombie

Wham! (3UR)
Legendary Creature - Vampire
Hexproof
{3}: Put a mode counter on ~.
As long as ~ has at least one mode counter, it has first strike, trample and "At the beginning of your upkeep, discard a card. If you can't, remove all mode counters from ~."
4/4

AC/DC (2RR)
Legendary Creature - Vampire
{2}: Put a mode counter on ~.
As long as ~ has at least one mode counter, it has "{T}: ~ deals 3 damage to target creature or player." and "At the beginning of your upkeep, discard a card. If you can't, remove all mode counters from ~."
3/2

Athreos is against the returned, isn't he? I thought that was Phenax's thing.

Taste of Ascendance WURB
Enchantment - Aura
Enchanted creature gets +10/-10 and has Ascend. (It cannot block creatures without flying and cannot be blocked by creatures that do not have this ability)
"There are paths to ascension outside of those offered by the society. I could offer you these secrets, but I must warn you: they do not come without price." - Imp to Kayneth Farwendr

Imp, Keeper of Secrets 1WURB
Legendary Creature - Mouse Monk
When Imp, Keeper of Secrets enters the battlefield, exile 3 cards from the top of each player's library face-down and look at them. At the beginning of each upkeep, you reveal one of the cards exiled this way. If the revealed card is a land, destroy target land. If it is an instant, draw a card. If it is a sorcery, deal 5 damage to target creature. If it is a creature, destroy target creature. Put cards revealed this way at the bottom of their owner's library.
2/2

edited 22nd Apr '14 1:13:29 AM by ImperialSunlight

Mandatory Devotion (3U)
Enchantment
Spells may only be paid for with mana of its colors. (Colorless mana costs can't be paid.)

:/ I think I'd make it so you could still pay colorless mana costs with colorless mana; it wouldn't completely shut down artifact decks that way. Well, it would still pretty much shut them down, depending on how many sources of the stuff they had out, but it wouldn't be completely impossible for one to survive it.

edited 22nd Apr '14 1:25:20 AM by Knowlessman

Pyrrhic Stranglehold UUBB
Enchantment - Aura Curse
Enchant player
Enchanted player can't cast spells.
When Pyrrhic Stranglehold enters the battlefield and at the beginning of your upkeep, put a consequence counter on Pyrrhic Stranglehold, then lose 1 life for each consequence counter on Pyrrhic Stranglehold. If this ability would cause your life total to fall below 1, instead sacrifice Pyrrhic Stranglehold.

Can't you just say "Cumulative upkeep: pay 1 life"?

...I'm not familiar with how it works (and besides, I should be asleep), so I figured I might as well type it up the long way. :/

EDIT: Also, the consequence counters kinda tie in with another Pyrrhic Wossname card I made a little ways back.

edited 22nd Apr '14 1:38:15 AM by Knowlessman

Isn't specifically-colorless mana rather hard to generate?

Pretty much. However, once JOU comes out, you have the option to play Kruphix◊ and tap your lands one step or phase before you'd need it.

Cumulative upkeep works pretty much the same way you worded yours except you can choose not to pay the CU cost and sacrifice the permanent whenever you want.

edited 22nd Apr '14 4:59:46 AM by 2Zak

Seadragon 2RR
Creature - Kraken Dragon
Flying
R: ~ gets +1/+0 until end of turn.
U: ~ looses flying and gains islandwalk until end of turn.
U: Target opposing creature looses islandwalk until end of turn. ~ must block that creature this turn if able.
3/3
"I'd like it a lot more if it could just make up it's stupid mind." - Kiora\\

I thought of putting a sacrifice anytime clause in there, but... :/ Well, it has pyrrhic in the name; it should hurt.

Loose Flying (U/R)
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has flying, "This creature attacks every turn if able," and "(U/R): This creature can't attack this turn. Any player may activate this ability."
You know Icarus? Yeah, like that, except he's also drunk.

Read a friggin' book, Jawa.

EDIT: Re: Colorless mana: I know of at least one land that taps for it, and there're bound to be a dozen or so other cards that can give it to you.

edited 22nd Apr '14 9:43:51 AM by Knowlessman

There's lots of lands that tap for colorless. They just don't get used for mana too often.

Seath the Scaleless 6UU
Legendary Creature - Dragon Wizard
Flying
When Seath the Scaleless enters the battlefield, put a colorless artifact token named Primordial Crystal onto the battlefield. It has "Dragons have indestructible and hexproof."
And Seath the Scaleless betrayed his own, and the dragons were no more.
5/5

Nito, First of the Dead 4WB
Legendary Creature - Skeleton Lord
BB: Target creature gets two -1/-1 counters.
Nito unleashed a miasma of death and disease.
5/4
Gwyn, Lord of Sunlight 5WWW
Legendary Creature - God Lord
Dragons lose hexproof and cannot gain hexproof.
2W: Destroy target creature. If it's a dragon, exile it.
Knights you control get +1/+1.
Gwyn's mighty bolts peeled apart their stone scales.
8/8
The Witch of Izalith 4RW
Legendary Creature - Shaman Lord
R: Put a 1/1 red shaman token on the battlefield.
Sacrifice The Witch of Izalith: Activate this ability only if you control four shamans. exile all creatures. For each creature exiled this way, put a 9/9 Red demon token onto the battlefield in its owner's control.
The witches weaved great firestorms.
3/4\\

edited 23rd Apr '14 3:47:58 AM by ImperialSunlight

I wanted to make a Havel the Rock, but he just ended up being an 8/8 with Hexproof, which isn't interesting, so here's Gwyn's knights. I didn't give them a race subtype (like human) because it's debatable just what they were in the first place.

Artorias, the Abysswalker 4WW
Creature — Knight
Swampwalk
As long as ~ is untapped, ~ has protection from black.
T: ~ fights target black creature.
4/4

Lord's Blade Ciaran 3RW
Creature — Knight
Double Strike
When ~ deals combat damage to a creature, put a -1/-1 counter on that creature.
2/3

Hawkeye Gough 4GW
Creature — Knight
Reach
T: ~ deals damage equal to his power to target Dragon.
5/6

Dragonslayer Ornstein 3WWW
Creature — Knight
First Strike
WW, T: ~ deals 2 damage to target creature or player.
4/4

edited 23rd Apr '14 8:12:50 AM by Blackmoon

I wanted to do Laurentius because of the irony of him being from the great swamp and not being black at all, but I couldn't think of anything. So have these obscure characters:

Undead Prince Ricard 1W
Legendary Creature - Zombie Knight
Double Strike
He was born into royalty, but wandered the lands in a fateful ill-conceived journey. He became Undead, and disappeared up North.
2/1

Rickert of Vinheim 1U
Legendary Creature - Zombie Artificer
Creatures you control with equipment attached have +2/+0
1/2

edited 23rd Apr '14 9:56:35 AM by ImperialSunlight

Mogis' Devastator (3RR)
Creature - Minotaur Berserker
Trample
If damage that would be dealt by Mogis' Devastator to a player or permanent would be prevented, Mogis' Devastator deals double that damage to that player or permanent instead.
4/4

Quick Sliver (3)
Artifact Creature — Sliver
All slivers are artifacts in addition to their other types.
1/1

edited 24th Apr '14 4:16:09 AM by KylerThatch

Already exists.

Well, there goes my wordplay. :/

Bonerattle Marauder (2 B/R)
Creature - Human Berserker
Whenever another creature dies, Bonerattle Marauder gets +2/+0 and gains intimidate until end of turn.
2/2