The Official Bad Puns Topic

What do you call a pig that got over a cold?

A cured ham.

My friend's Air Pods broke. \\ Hopefully, they had some Spair (spare) Pods.

Edited by AxolotlFan on Jan 12th 2024 at 8:16:59 AM

Crazy idea: A Japanese remake of Say Anything..., where an Ordinary High-School Student who secretly speaks English in a mask has a crush on the class president Hana.

Eigo Hana Say Mask Ka?

So it seems they're making another movie about everybody's favorite medieval outlaw, except this time he'll be heir to the throne of an ancient Greek city-state. It's going to be called Robin Hood:Prince of Thebes.

[Girl dating a Robot Gril]

• Girl: I know what you're made of.
• Robot: Yes Steel, copper, silicone...
• Girl: Nope you're Girlfriend material!

In the pastry competition, there cannoli be one winner

There are still Confederate banknotes around, after more than a century and a half, ones that weren't spent even by the richest of the rich. Guess they weren't Missouri-ly enough.

When you're making chili sin carne, don't hold back on beans.

Make it so bean laden that they send a whole SEAL Team after it.

With all the excitement over Dune, I really hope that at ComicCon or some other convention, some Fremen cosplayers film themselves battle rapping.

After all, the spice must flow.

they should rename this to Yap Fest

I heard this story about some dumbass who, for the second time, faced the wrong way on a treadmill, turned it on, bellowed out a confused scared-horse sound and made a hole when his thigh bumped into the wall. There was already a neigh-boring hole from the last time.

Did you hear about the guy who gives pot brownies to seabirds? He'll leave no tern unstoned!

There was a bandit who tried to escape from a sheriff, but the sheriff quickly reached him thanks to the speed of his trusty steed. You could say the bandit is now under.... horse arrest.

It's a Bodice Ripper type of a Period Piece film set in Regency England, and a random extra left her corset in the kitchen set after film.

It's a Stay in the Kitchen

What do you get when a Pomeranian sticks its head in a bowl of pudding?

Pudding on the Spitz!

What happens if the Earth's crust is full of wet clay? Mud pie.

Speaking of which...

Warning: This is a very slow burn of a pun

You know how people say they'll see celebrities in their soup/the mirror without even thinking about them, driving them crazy?^note Incidentally, I'm surprised we don't have a trope for that yet. Well, last night my cat started talking all of a sudden and said he saw both Elvis Presley and Ricky Martin in a mirror! I didn't believe him, so I stood at my bathroom mirror at night to see if I'd have the same experience; sure enough, I saw both of them for half a second. When I mentioned it to my cat, he was all of a sudden back to just making cat sounds.

It turned out that my cat could talk because he had made a Deal with the Devil to swap his voice with Elvis'; it gave him a tongue that was heavily silver, but he forgot to get devil red lips from a lion and moca skin from a tortoiseshell cat to make it more convincing. Guess that's the issue with Subspecies Minds.

This pun makes more sense if you know about mathematical paradoxes.

Where does David Hilbert stay when he travels? At the Inn Finity.

That reminds me of a silly joke I read several years ago. A cop is traveling across an interstate road to look for someone who is suspicious of theft, but it's 1 am and he needs to rest. What hotel does he stop by to take a rest?

Inn Security.

On a similar note, do you know the best anagram of Banach-Tarski?

It's "Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski".

Edited by Noaqiyeum on Apr 22nd 2024 at 11:15:00 AM