Gallant and Goofus

Goofus was always burning since the world was turning.

Gallant has the whole world in his hands.

Goofus has only the little bitty babies in his hands...and then he drops them.

Gallant explains politely why Goofus is always Entertainingly Wrong.

Goofus goes on Twitter and bitches about his problem while saying he's a real genius.

Gallant has a plan to produce effective safe time travel within ten years.

Goofus tries time traveling, but ends up giving a nuke to Hitler.

Gallant reads good webcomics.

Goofus only reads Sonichu.

Gallant retires when he realizes that he can't safely do his job anymore.

Goofus racks up costly insurance bills while insisting on keeping the dangerous job that keeps causing him Grievous Bodily Harm.

Gallant keeps his energy drink consumption to a maximum of two cans in a single day, and usually goes one week or more between having one.

edited 3rd Feb '18 8:27:21 PM by lewattoo

Goofus shotguns a cocktail of Monster Energy, Rockstar, No S, Amp, and Red Bull once a day.

Gallant keeps his figurines in good condition.

Goofus is like the caterpiller kids in Toy Story 3

Gallant IS THE BATMAN

Goofus is the JOKER

Gallant respects that people have different opinions than himself.

Der Göfus seizes control of his nation so he can outlaw each and every opinion that differs from his own, right down to which Star Trek captain is best.

Gall-Ant the worker diligently gathers food and shares it with the colony.

edited 9th Feb '18 4:53:47 AM by AliceMacher

Goofus-hopper just plays all day in the sun, and then starves in the winter.

Gallant gives others a chance.

Goofus still hasn't forgiven the kid in second grade who wouldn't loan him a pencil.

Gallant chooses weapons appropriate for the assignment he's on, and the training he's received.

Goofus just casts 'Explosion' on everything, regardless of the situation.

Gallant keeps his pets close to him and treats them with care.

Goofus uses a chainsaw for everything. Everything.

Goofus lets his animals run wild, expecting them to take care of themselves.

Gallant knows that being a dom carries a lot of responsibility and is attentive to his sub's wishes.

edited 9th Feb '18 2:35:09 PM by DatLonerGirl

Goofus is Christian Grey.

Gallant always plans ahead.

Goofus just wings it.

Gallant never presses the Big Red Button.

Goofus always pushes the History Eraser But--

(Rebooting...)

Gallant is friendly and welcoming to the freshmen at his high school.

Goofus torments any freshmen he can get his hands on. Even ones that don't go to his school.

Gallant knows that as an Olympian, he is also his country's ambassador, and he puts his best for forward in the host country.

Goofus chants "USA! USA! USA!" despite competing for the Republic of Kosovo.

Although Gallant didn't win the gold medal, he is still pleased to go home with a silver.

Goofus kills the champion just because he won silver.

Gallant reports bullies to the faculty.

Goofus pays the bullies to act good in public so he doesn't have to report them.

Gallant goes out and educates himself with online courses and Youtube videos.

Goofus smacks himself over the head so he can forget information.

Gallant jumps on the grenade and save his fellow soldiers.

edited 11th Feb '18 6:57:54 PM by DatLonerGirl

Goofus throws grenades at his fellow soldiers

Gallant is nice and welcoming towards newcomers in his fandoms

Goofus recites the Rick and Morty copypasta to every newcomer, changing the work and context when appropriate.

Gallant calls for professional help when he sees someone suicidal.

Goofus thinks it's better to just put the poor bastards out of their misery..."humanely", of course.

Gallant knows that there's more than one way to solve a problem.