Gallant and Goofus

Goofus' speciality is cOLD mOLD on a gOLD pLATE.

Gallant the banker is prudent about who he gives loans to, only offering them to people he knows can pay them back, thus making life easier for them and for the bank's customers.

edited 21st Feb '17 11:31:18 AM by PresidentStalkeyes

Goofus is a loan shark whose practices shock even the most ruthless mob bosses.

Gallant created a video game that is popular among gamers, who eagerly anticipate his next project.

Goofus crowd funded his game, and ran off with the money he got to live in the lap of Luxury.

Gallant is a responsible bartender who sets a drink limit.

Goofus tells everyone in the bar, "LET'S GET SMAAAAAAAAAAAASHED!!!"

Gallant strives high, but doesn't forget his roots.

The moment Goofus makes the slightest move up the social hierarchy, he calls up all of his friends and family and screams how the are worthless gutter trash.

Officer Gallant has a spotless record and is respected by his colleagues and the public.

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Goofus is a murderer pedo BEE Py pottymouth and does every BEE Ping illegal substance ever BEE Ping known.
Gallant is a BEE Ping Anti-Hero. Wait, what?

Goofus is a Designated Hero who everyone loves despite all the terrible things he does.

Gallant is grateful when people grant his requests, even if it is done in a smug way.

Goofus is an Ungrateful Bastard who acts like a total jerk even to people who like him.

Gallant is always hyped for upcoming works and sincerely hopes that they do well.

Goofus expects way too much from his favorite works that he becomes a whiny crybaby when things don't go they he expected.

Gallant introduces his fandoms to others, but understands if they refuse to join.

edited 12th Mar '17 9:47:50 AM by TroperNo9001

Goofus made "Fandom" flavored candy bars, so he could shove his fandom down people's throats, literally.

Gallant makes sure Keter level SCPS don't escape.

Goofus tries to make SCP-682 his pet.

Gallant draws good stuff on deviantart.

Goofus steals other people's artwork and edits them horribly.

true friggin story (here's the original)-

Gallant preaches his beliefs, but understands if people don't want to join him.

edited 30th Mar '17 5:25:17 AM by anza_sb

Goofus is actually Jack Chick.

Gallant doesn't do drugs.

Goofus died from a massive drug overdose.

Gallant makes helpful robots.

Goofus sells constantly malfunctioning, hostile robots on the black market. The robots usually want to die, and their prayers are answered.

Gallant does not forget to feed his young daughter.

Goofus's children are starting to eat the spiders and flies in his house.

Gallant avoids charging into a fight without a plan.

Goofus avoids charging into a fight without a litre of alcohol in him.

Gallant makes sure not to mix the coloureds with the whites.

Goofus does too. The people, that is.

Gallant turns off the light when he leaves the room.

Goofus pisses off the whites when he leaves the room. (You know, because he won't let them mix with the coloureds.)

Gallant makes sure to keep himself hydrated throughout the day.

Goofus is really thirsty (both literally and figuratively).

Gallant adapts a work with respect to and knowledge of the original work.

Goofus doesn't even bother glancing at the Laconic page for the work before adapting it.

Gallant, when hosting dinner parties, always asks his guests beforehand about their medical, religious or other dietary needs.

Goofus just serves everyone heaping piles of feces.

Super Gallant defeats bad guys and saves innocent bystanders.

Captain Goofus wastes so much time in Wangst over his relationships and other personal issues that he himself is a (not so innocent) bystander who perishes with the others as The Bad Guy Wins.

The nation of Gallantia is free of tyranny, bigotry, poverty and crime.

edited 19th Apr '17 11:53:36 PM by AliceMacher

Goofusland is basically North Korea x 20.

Gallant doesn't fall for scams.

Goofus orchestrates scams ponzie schemes that cripple the national economy and destroy millions of lives.

Gallant teaches responsible sex education to high schoolers.