Dumb things you used to believe as a kid

I thought that China was a huge factory somewhere since everything I saw seemed to have been made there.

I used to think trees only died if they were cut down or burned down. I didn't think they could die of old age

I used to think that Sitcoms were funny.

I was scared of shaving my armpits because I thought that a razor was a little mini-lawnmower thing with a spinny blade that will most likely cut you.

You're not wrong. Can't tell you how many times I've split some skin on my lip, nether region, and chin. Only when you're impatient enough to not use it carefully and calmly will you cut something.

Me too.

As some clarification to that "I cut my junk" thing, I thought it'd be a good idea to use scissors on the actual appendage itself. So learn from me and don't use scissors, like ever.

Ouch.

You're a boy, right?

Actually, I'm a boy.

i used to think George bush was king

I used to think Sonic the Hedgehog was a mascot for Sonic the restaurant. Probably because of all the chili dogs he ate in the cartoon.

I couldn't believe that Popeye The Sailor Man apparently had nothing to do with Popeye's The Restaurant Chain. (I did later find out they used Popeye in ads...but that was a long time ago...)

I used to think chocolate milk came from brown cows.

I was a very odd child.

I was dead convinced that one house in between home and school was haunted. I don't know why, I don't even think it was vacant or anything, but I was sure of it anyway, and so were some friends of mine. And I created elaborate stories about it in my head, complete with it having many more floors than were visible to someone looking at it from the outside, and tales where a bunch of my friends and cousins all went in there to explore and most of us didn't come back out.

Also, I remember a time when one of cousins was going over the countries on a globe with me and when he pointed out China, I, being such a good New Yorker, always amended it to Chinatown, and was puzzled by the idea of it being just China. NYCentrism for the win?

edited 13th May '15 7:51:33 PM by TheWanderer

I used to think that the world was colored the same way as one of the maps in my coloring book, i. e. Australia/Oceania is blue, South America is green, etc.

I used to think that walking across the street would turn you into...something, so I always ran.

When I was young, I watched the first Land Before Time movie, and I thought that the "Dinosaurs keep to their own kind because they are different" only applied to them and that humans are not like that. You can partly blame my mom for that.

Another one to blame my mom for: She was going to enroll me into a school and I decided to look at the list of forbidden words. Some I was vaguely familiar with, but one I asked about was "faggot". I asked mom what it meant and she told me it was a fast slang, using the sentence "I faggot my homework" to illustrate that. (My parents didn't want me to know about homosexuals. I found out about the time Massachusetts made SSM legal and they could no longer dodge it.)

I thought that the worst word EVAR was "shit" and that "poo", "bum", etc were swears. Also, , what do you mean by the second paragraph?

edited 16th May '15 3:31:38 PM by SmartGirl333

That people could hear my thoughts. I just couldn't hear everyone else's thoughts because they had none. They were robots. ...I didn't talk much.

Also, that Vanna White was 3 inches tall. I was convinced until one time the answer to a Wheel of Fortune puzzle was the name of a celebrity, and the celebrity herself ran out from behind the puzzle board, and that's when I finally realized it was just a really big puzzle board.

In kindergarten, a girl in my class told me that I had to eat my sandwich before my cookies. I thought she was just being a bitch.

I used to think that blinking was abnormal and that when I became conscious of it, I'd try to force myself to keep from doing it.

Oh my god, I just read that again and I died.

edited 26th May '15 7:10:10 AM by BaronGreen

I actually thought your heart only beat when you were excited or scared or whatnot, and that it otherwise didn't beat.

I thought it was the law that all movies had to have a Happy Ending

I told my friend Max that when he mentioned the Downer Ending of Cowboy Bebop. "The hero's not supposed to die. It's against regulations."

@Spino: I don't get that.

Speaking of movies, when I was little I thought that the bad guy always went to jail in the end (if he survived to the end of the movie, anyway), even when it didn't really make sense. This even extended to folks like, say, Aunt Sarah from Lady And The Tramp, even though, in that case, her worst crime was simply being an inattentive Jerkass.