Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted, but it's only a 1 milliliter beverage.

I wish that used game stores would stop affixing stickers of devaluation to game boxes/cartridges.

Granted. They brand (the old fashion way) the games with each new devaluation.

I wish to decide at least one case with a Xiaolin Showdown.

Granted. You get killed by Clay or someone else. I don't really watch that cartoon much, so.....

I wish for a delish fish with relish.

Granted. It has appeared roughly five feet over your head and will smash onto it in roughly 12 nanoseconds.

I wish I had more motivation in life.

Granted. You have one week to live. Use your time wisely.

I wish for the fall of capitalism.

Granted, now we're stuck in a dictatorship. Good job.

I wish that I would stop freaking out superstitiously thinking that I actually have one week to live because some guy said so online.

Granted. You die suddenly, but at least you no longer have to think about it.

I wish that I were better at reading regular expressions. (regex)

Granted. You have become a search engine that uses regex to find domains, and have lost all semblance of free thought and emotion.

I wish that I could always find fanfiction of my favorite ships.

Unfortunately, they are all written by 5 year olds so enjoy hearing masterful descriptions as "ond den dey hat sax anne et wuz gr8"

I wish that I had elemental powers.

Granted but you don't have CONTROL of it, It gets out of hand, you and everyone you love are dead because of it.

I wish i was the Angry Video Game Nerd.

Granted, your sheer anger management issue is now damaging your body, and everyone thinks that you're insane.

I wish there's a Metal Slug sequel for PS4.

Granted, but the game is hated by everyone who played it.

I wish I knew how to swim.

Granted — at the price of forgetting how to walk.

I wish for something.

edited 31st May '17 1:41:30 PM by StarAndroidJaguar

Granted, it's a speeding train.

I wish I had a better computer that doesn't cost a literal metric ton a day to maintain.

Ok, it doesn't cost a literal metric ton. Meaning it doesn't cost 1000 kilograms. Unfortunately, computers are not maintained through weight. They are maintained through money!

I wish I could see the future.

Granted, but it's always 100 years into the future and it keeps recalibrating because you keep messing with the present, making the image unreliable.

I wish that every TV series past, present, and future would get a proper finale when they ran their course.

Granted. Too bad fans of their favorite shows will still complain about their show ending "prematurely" in spite being given a proper finale, and insists that the network bring it back. They did, but its a shallow parody of the original that ironically does not end as it had yet ran its course. as people are still attracted to it through hatred and wanted to see how bad it can get.

. . . What I am trying to say is, its the Tee Titans cartoon fans fault that Teen Titans Go even exist to this day.

Anyway, I wish people read the manga before watching the anime.

Granted, many people never watch the best anime because they don't want to read a ton of books. And what about Anime First?

I wish my partners for projects did their work.

Granted. You, however, get no credit.

I wish for everlasting peace of mind.

Granted, you no longer have a mind. Oblivion's the ultimate peace.

I wish i could create my own dimension and have absolute control over it.

Granted. You do. Unfortunately,the life you create eventually grow tired of your oppressive regime and they ultimately go to war with you.

I wish there was no language barrier.

edited 1st Jun '17 6:09:57 PM by Agronac919

Granted. All language, audio/scent/touch/visual, from every human and animal, is now vocalized English. Ants talk constantly about how they plan to invade your house. Birds speak lewdly to each other instead of tweeting. Your pets make constant demands like two year olds. Flying insects buzz by constantly saying "tasty human" and the like. Vultures loudly shout "I wonder if the human's dead yet", and "not yet, but soon" as you walk the desert. It's kinda not fun.

I wish they'd bring back the DCAU, with Bruce Timm and Paul Dini at the helm again.

edited 1st Jun '17 6:38:58 PM by sarysa

Granted. Everyone speaks in grunts and screeches.
Granted. And for being a just know that they've long run dry of ideas and between that and executive meddling, the renewed Batman series becomes a carbon copy of Teen Titans Go. The rest are worse.

I wish my neighborhood broke out into spontaneous dance numbers when my life has a plot twist.

edited 1st Jun '17 6:39:44 PM by CenturyEye

Granted, but everyone does not know what is the difference of a plot twist to a normal moment in life. So you get musicals whenever you wake up and walk downstairs.

I wish for the best drink in the whole universe.

Granted, you get Nuka Cola Quantum, enjoy the taste while being irradiated to death.

I wish I can drink Nuka Cola Quantum without the worry or irradiation.