Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. You get a Chevorlet movie theater that only shows car commercials and The Fast and the Furious 24/7.

I wish I had a bottle of chili-lime hot sauce.

Granted, it kills you.

I wish to cheat death.... at a card game.

granted, you then are sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole.

i wish minty things werent so hot.

Granted. Both minty and hot things are now so numbing that your mouth no longer feels pain, or anything, for 12 days straight.

I wish I had a shaker filled with chili-lime seasoning.

It's two years past the expiration date.

I wish to be the moon.

Granted, you die due to lack of oxygen.

I wish I could fear nothing.

Granted. The part of your brain that recognizes danger no longer works.

I wish for a firebreathing cerberus as a pet/guard dog that is loyal to me and is house trained.

Granted. But when it barks, it breathes fire. Good luck.

I wish for I wish.

Grante-DIVIDE BY ZERO ERROR. PLEASE RESTART UNIVERSE TO CONTINUE.

I wish that it was possible to successfully divide by zero.

G Rkjfdijwreahfwkmefbeasirjwlkgvnkdjang

Universe.exe has crashed. Please reset timeline to continue.

Great. Now we're all bacteria and we have to wait about billions of years to even reach the Neanderthal stage. Well, we still have TV Tropes.

I wish that I was never born.

All memories and records of your birth are gone. You're put in jail because your identity cannot be verified.

I wish for a magic wallet that always contains the exact amount of cash I need at any given time.

Granted. You're arrested for fraud.

I wish that humans had the ability to live on and go to other planets.

Granted. Said planets must be exactly like Earth.

Your lack of a wish causes a black hole to materialize.

I wish to be a ninja.

Granted. BUT...

I wish that wihses can't be corrupted.

Granted. But that's the last wish you get.

I wish Garnet was the next Doctor.

Granted. Hope you have a DVR. Wait, no you don't.

I wish I had 3 wishes, which are for Teen Titans Go to be cancelled, for me to have Super Mario Maker, and for those two wishes not to be corrupted.

I think I covered all the bases.

@Alucart Aha! I wished that I would be subject to whatever effects the snake thing would have on me! Death is one of the effects! I win!

...Uh...carry on.

Granted. You only cleared two bases with that wish. Unless you cough up a third one, they're null and void.

I wish for a slab of barbecued pork ribs.

Granted. But they're really off and rank. You get food poisoning and die.

I wish I was internet famous.

Granted. You're famous in the same way as Anita Sarkeesian.

I wish I had more people to play Tabletop Games with.

granted, they are very annoying though.

i wish i had more good luck

i think you missed the point, you died, and the snakes need a host to survive, so they die too.

edited 7th Sep '15 8:17:49 PM by Alucart23

Granted. But your good luck is a curse, everyone wants to know how you did it, and you won't stop being bothered and harassed by the paparazzi for your ridiculous luckiness.

I wish I could play the banjo.

Your friends dismiss you as a hillbilly.

I wish I had a pretty, kind, supportive girlfriend who has similarly pleasant friends & family and isn't a psychotic bitch.

She isn't a psychotic bitch, she's a very sweet bitch. She wants to have your puppies.

I wish for a billion wishes.