Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. It's terrible.

I wish I had a muffin.

Granted. It's a baked bad.

I wish fandoms can live in harmony.

Granted. They just find something else to fight about.

I wish to immediately have the chance to make a wish that will be granted without being corrupted.

edited 5th Aug '15 6:42:22 PM by djkates

Granted, although, since you haven't wished for anything else you get nothing else

I wish that I could meet Goku, and he's cool like his canon character and not some kind of psychotic dick

Granted. Enjoy your frozen Goku. Hopefully he can bust out of there.

I wish I had the ability to play an instrument.

You can play mayonaisse.

I wish for my youtube subscriptions to upload something interesting.

Granted: all of those vids get flagged down.

I wish for the ability to fool people with literal paper masks.

Granted: The masks are made of glassine. People can see right through them.

I wish for pillowy mounds of mashed po-ta-tos.

granted, you get a pillowy mashed mound made of a mixture of polonium, tantalum, and a tritium osmium compound. you die of radiation poisoning.

i wish for a way to play as knuckles in the first sonic game without hacks.

edited 6th Aug '15 3:08:22 PM by Alucart23

Knuckles are useless if not attached to a body.

I wish that I had a Playstation 4.

Granted, it explodes in your face.

I wish to fist fight a gorilla and win.

Granted, you are now internationally famous as that guy who beat a baby gorilla to death without realizing you were being recorded.

I wish I could travel through time.

Granted, you end up in Carthage 144 BC.

I wish to be stranded in Siberia in winter.

Granted. You are stranded in Siberia in winter.

...What? I don't need to to corrupt the wish if it's already horrible.

I wish for a new pair of pants.

Granted. They are two sizes too small and they chafe horribly.

I wish for a pet rock.

Granted. It's a boulder that drops on your head.

I wish I was best friends with Doctor Doom.

Granted. You die in a skirmish.

I wish I was a Time Lord.

Granted. However, the moment you travel back in time you are killed by scary soldier people.

I wish the next poster purifies the previous wish.

edited 6th Aug '15 6:27:31 PM by PastryPerson

Granted. Yours was corrupted, however.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, you fly right into a volcano's lava.

I wish I could complete my game mods.

edited 6th Aug '15 6:37:58 PM by KingFeraligatr

Granted. A computer virus destroys them as soon as they're finished.

I wish for some poutine that tastes good and has no negative repercussions for me, or anyone or anything, whatsoever.

granted, but it doesnt stop the arsonist from torching your house

i wish for a fire breathing dragon who hates fire.

Granted. Since it hates fire, it refuses to breathe fire, and is useless.

I wish I had the Philosopher's Stone.

Granted, but it's just a handicraft one.

I wish I can summon objects near me without any negative consequences.

The only objects you can summon are bananas and empty beer bottles.

I wish I was allowed to keep a pet monkey.