PINNACLE OF MAN
Output:
- Rough: A crushed puddle of bananas.
- Coarse: Badly cut up bananas.
- 1:1: A bunch of pears.
- Fine: A set of large bananas.
- Very Fine: A set of futuristic, structurally perfect fruits. Studying revealed that those belong to the future and descend from bananas. Tests ongoing.
Input: An issue of Kit n Kay Boodle. Very Fine.
edited 28th Jan '16 6:53:43 AM by arcada188
I am the most suitable partner for Gaia. I have some bad news. You will not make it to Eden. This is the end of your journey.
May be Stupendous Man
Result: [DATA LOST]
Test: One list of things SCP-055 isn't. 1:1.
Insert something clever here
May be Stupendous Man
bump
Insert something clever here
O5-7 General of MTF Nu-7 (Hammer Down)
Result: [Data Lost]
Test: 3 SCP-705s. One for 1:1, one for fine and one for very fine.
[REDACTED]
Red Like Santa
1:1 A sentient slinky
Fine: A sentient piece of professional clay.
Very Fine: A army of clay people.
Input: A film reel of A New Hope, one on every setting.
edited 29th Feb '16 8:46:48 PM by hamza678
Now known as Cyber Controller
Lord of the Onion Rings
(![[down]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_down.png "[down]"){kind=icon}
Okay his was funnier.)
Rough: The film reel, cut into bits of twisted metal and film, arranged in the shape of Jar Jar Binks.
Coarse: the film has been unattatched from the reel and has been wiped clean.
1:1: A film reel of a Star Trek (Original Series) movie.
Fine: the Film reel is now a VHS tape.
Very Fine: a disk with a button, that when pressed, shows a holographic projection of Princess Leia, before playing the movie in a similar fashion.
Input: A transcription of every page on TV Tropes, on 1:1, Fine, and Very Fine.
edited 1st Mar '16 6:10:35 AM by TrixiePixie
What's a signature?
These are the voyages...
Output:
Rough: Raw cellulose and a puddle of ink
Coarse: A VHS copy of The Phantom Menace
1:1: A DVD copy of The Force Awakens
Fine: A laserdisc copy of the original theatrical version of A New Hope
Very Fine: An optical disc, playable in any optical playback device, containing what is labeled as the "Complete Star Wars Saga Ultra-Special edition". The disc contains all nine Star Wars films, as well as the Star Wars Holiday Special. None of the films exactly match their original theatrical release, with the greatest changes appearing in Episodes I, II and III. Specifically, test viewers describe this as "Like the original, but with a less annoying Jar-Jar and less whiny Anakin".
NOTE: All testers who have watched Episodes VIII and IX immediately slipped into a comatose state. Recommend no testing with these tracks prior to official release of those films.
Input: Five "Mr. Clean Magic Eraser", one per setting.
edited 1st Mar '16 6:07:29 AM by Ripsaw
Be careful what you wish for, 'cause you might just get it all...
Red Like Santa
Rough: Some detergent
Coarse: Some wipes
1:1: A generic brand of eraser.
Fine: A cleaning machine
Very Fine: A human maid.
Input: A DVD copy of Adventure Time, season 6.
Now known as Cyber Controller
Red Like Santa
bump.
Now known as Cyber Controller
May be Stupendous Man
Rough: A shredded DVD.
Coarse: A scratched DVD.
1:1: Adventure Time Season 5 on Blu-Ray.
Fine: A digital copy of Adventure Time: The Complete Series.
Very Fine: [REDACTED]
Test: One copy of the All Spark cube. Fine.
Insert something clever here
PINNACLE OF MAN
Result: A replica of the Well of All Sparks in a bowl. Designated SCP-7002.
Test: A single secretary bird. Fine.
I am the most suitable partner for Gaia. I have some bad news. You will not make it to Eden. This is the end of your journey.
Red Like Santa
May be Stupendous Man
(You didn't say what kind, so I'm going with GEN 1 Mark VI) Results: Rough: Several fragments in the colours of the armour.
Coarse: What would appear to be a dead multiplayer Spartan without the body, only the armour. Cognitohazardous in that it seemed to give subject extreme urges to [REDACTED].
1:1: Hayabusa powered armour. Test run again by Dr. Calvin (me), resulting in a Sangheili Minor combat harness.
Fine: Hunter-class MJOLNIR.
Very Fine: What would appear to be an identical armour controlled by an AI with the personality of Master Chief Petty Officer John-117, but spoke using a Windows speech synthesizer.
Test: Five MA 5 D Assault Rifles, one on each setting. (Halo for the win)
Insert something clever here
Red Like Santa
Rough: A scattering of gun parts and bullets
Coarse: A modern day rifle.
1:1: A Covenant assault rifle.
Fine: A Forerrunner suppressor.
Very Fine: A forerunner laser.
Input: Some fishsticks.
edited 8th Mar '16 5:11:53 PM by hamza678
Now known as Cyber Controller
Okay, I'll try it your way for once
(i assume you mean one on each setting)
rough: fish meat the consistency of taco meat and uncooked breading/coating
coarse: raw strip of fish alongside two strips of breading/coating
1:1: breaded chicken
fine: a fish stick with 50% less mercury
very fine: shark fin soup
input: One (1) SEGA Light Phaser on very fine
edited 8th Mar '16 7:23:45 PM by Alucart23
Remember what we used to say? JACKPOT!
Red Like Santa
Spooky Scary Boneheaded Man
Rough: A pile of plastic shards, as if run through a high-end shredder.
Coarse: A pile of plastic beads, such as what would be used to make the figure.
1:1: A similar figure, but of Allan Walker.
Fine: A highly articulated, expertly sculpted, chougokin-quality figure of Saitama. Found to be nigh-indestructible.
Very Fine: Similar to the output of Fine, except for the fact that any punching action performed now produces results not unlike what occurs in One Punch Man. Additiomally, the figure was found to shift between Saitama's silly art style and the serious style.
INPUT: Plans for the Gao Gai Gar, twenty (20)lbs. of assorted metal, one (1) cup of Dragon Blood (as ordered from SCP-294), one (1) Core Drill necklace.
Setting: Twice on Fine
edited 10th Mar '16 11:28:27 PM by OmegaShadowcry
"The Stick has sentimental value. It's like an enormous, hideous teddy bear we can kill things with." -rikalous
Red Like Santa
Don't do that. The explosion will wipe out anyone of insufficient manliness.
Input: A copy of The Avengers, Very Fine.
Now known as Cyber Controller
May be Stupendous Man
Result: "X Simulator 2012," a series of programs allowing you to see the entire movie through one character's eyes. Proved compatible with all existing VR hardware.
Input: One G1 Optimus Prime toy. 1:1.
Insert something clever here
Okay, I'll try it your way for once
output: one g2 megatron toy
input: scp-687
Remember what we used to say? JACKPOT!
Kirby
Output: [DATA EXPUNGED]
You didn't even put any settings.
Input: Five (5) copies of Pokemon X And Y, one for each setting.
edited 11th Apr '16 1:25:34 AM by Oggy123
Singularity of Self Delusion
Output:
- Rough: A small pile of completely obliterated, tiny plastic and metal shards.
- Coarse: Copies of Pokemon Red and Green, respectively. Testing revealed full game functionality.
- 1:1: Copies of Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, respectively. Testing revealed full game functionality.
- Fine: Copies of the as yet unreleased Pokemon Sun and Moon. Testing revealed full game functionality, as well as a number of features and creatures as yet unseen in the franchise.
- Very Fine: Copies of a pair of Pokemon games mark as having a release date of 20[XX], titled Pokemon [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. Testing revealed full game functionality, as well as a number of features and creatures as yet unseen in the franchise, including [REDACTED].
Input:
- 5 copies of the game Undertale at it's beginning state. One on each setting.
May be Stupendous Man
Results: Rough: One completely shredded disk. Coarse: Some pieces of the disk inserted. 1:1: A digital PC copy of Five Nights At Freddys. The supervisor noted the similarities between the two games, both being games never meant to go big, but then spiralling into gigantic fanbases and being regarded as "cancer." Fine: One seemingly sentient flower who begged us to kill monsters to earn experience and level up. Immediately burned. Very Fine: One dimensional rift leading to what appeared to be the location known as the Underground, as described by D-9482.
Test: Five copies of the video game Destiny, one on each setting. (Deal with it.)
Insert something clever here
Singularity of Self Delusion
Output:
- Rough: A charred pile of ashes that is somehow tinted purple.
- Coarse: A smashed up game disc.
- 1:1: A copy of the video game Borderlands.
- Fine: The same copy, except with all of the extra content, both present and future, already available without fee.
- Very Fine: The same result as Fine, except it's purple.
Input:
- The main character of Undertale (Frisk) on the 1:1 setting.
Output:
Input: 5 standard, store-bought bundles of bananas. One on each setting.
Crane your neck and you shall see, the outside of reality.