Braids From S286 Not Included
> Go to the Game Hut to get a new game. Hopefully, there's one with maximum cruelty potential so you can use it like your virtual punching bag. Even better if it's rated M for extreme violence.
Edited by TroperNo9001 on Apr 1st 2024 at 7:12:06 PM
"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!"
badly drawn in MS Paint
>Read Dune by Frank Herbert extremely loudly and dramatically as you walk there
> Go to the Game Hut to get a new game. Hopefully, there's one with maximum cruelty potential so you can use it like your virtual punching bag. Even better if it's rated M for extreme violence.
The Game Hut was a veritable gamer's paradise. To your left were the recent releases. To your right, a plethora of used games from consoles both new and old sat upon well organized racks. Sabrina had a DS, maybe you could get her a cheap shovelware game for a gift while you're here.
Further in the back, near the checkout counter, two guys appeared to be getting into a gamer squabble. Perhaps you could butt in and give your two cents...
- Current Time: 10:20 AM
- Current Goals:
- Go to Mitch Fuller's house and learn his hacker ways.
- Browse the Game Hut.
- Current Inventory: Phone, Wallet, Notepad and Pen, Screwdriver, Phone Charging Cable, Protein Bar (birthday cake flavor), Rust Buckets concert ticket, The Dork of House Fyodor, The Trap, Dune (shoplifted), Wrapping paper (technically paid for?), Vicarious
- Funds: $22.00 (loose change), however much is left on your credit card
[input command]
"Hmm... it appears that browsing this wiki doesn't seem to violate any school rules. Continue." | My Wall
Braids From S286 Not Included
> Get into a console war with those two guys and prove to them how much the PC is MASTER RACE.
"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!"
Tenth in line for the throne
> Head to the DS games area and look up the worst games available for the DS on your phone. The bad stuff. The stuff that could very well be seen as an insult, to anyone with a DS and the faintest hint of self respect.
Viva la je!
badly drawn in MS Paint
>Call over one of the employees, to waste their time a little
Meito Anizawa, Anime Tenchou
> Look for funni bootleg games
"Leftover items still have value!"> Head to the DS games area and look up the worst games available for the DS on your phone. The bad stuff. The stuff that could very well be seen as an insult, to anyone with a DS and the faintest hint of self respect.
The DS section was chock full of a variety of games, from console standards to mediocre slop, with the rare hidden gem strewn about here and there. Too bad the market actually recognizes that those hidden gems are worth something. The only games that cost less than 20 dollars were the ones that either everyone had or no one wanted. Worse, you had no clue what Sabrina would actually like, aside from the fact that it had to be on the DS... You've gotta consult a professional.
>Call over one of the employees, to waste their time a little
"Marcia! Come help me out over here!"
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, what a woman she was. Adept at her job and quite the morbid comedian, you could always rely on her to find a game that you could enjoy — or in this case, use to really get under someone's skin.
"What are we looking for today, Jackass?"
"I need a shitty game for my cousin. I'm getting her some Christmas gifts."
"A Christmas gift? Really now? And here I was thinking you believed that Christmas was a corporate scam."
"Well, she'll be staying over for the holidays, so I kinda don't have much of a choice. Do you have anything that'll make her groan?"
"Depends. What does your cousin find groanworthy?"
"There's the problem... I have no fucking clue."
"Well, if you really want my honest opinion, you gotta get her one of these!" Marcia reaches over to the shelf and pulls out three games, spreading them out in her hands: Kid Icarus: Uprising, Ghostbusters: The Video Game, and Pokémon Ranger.
"I call 'em Carpal Tunnel Simulators!" Marcia says. "Games like these would make anyone grovel in pain from what their fingers get put through!"
"Alright, I'm kinda picking up what you're putting down..."
"On the rare occasion that you'd be compelled to show even the slightest bit more compassion to your darling cousin — either that or you wanna play it safe — just get her Style Savvy or Cooking Mama or some other girly and regressive life sim. That's just my opinion, though."
Well, Marcia had laid her case out in full. The real question was whether or not it was worth opening.
- Current Time: 10:28 AM
- Current Goals:
- Go to Mitch Fuller's house and learn his hacker ways.
- Browse the Game Hut.
- Current Inventory: Phone, Wallet, Notepad and Pen, Screwdriver, Phone Charging Cable, Protein Bar (birthday cake flavor), Rust Buckets concert ticket, The Dork of House Fyodor, The Trap, Dune (shoplifted), Wrapping paper (technically paid for?), Vicarious
- Funds: $22.00 (loose change), however much is left on your credit card
[input command]
Edited by Pogakure on Apr 2nd 2024 at 2:05:38 PM
"Hmm... it appears that browsing this wiki doesn't seem to violate any school rules. Continue." | My Wall
Tenth in line for the throne
> "Say, Marcia, would it be possible to buy a "Dee Ass" game with a different cartridge inside than what's advertised on the cover? I plan on getting the element of disappointment on my side."
Viva la je!
Braids From S286 Not Included
Would that dialogue still count? Because as good as it is, the last post specified a command/action.
"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!"> "Say, Marcia, would it be possible to buy a "Dee Ass" game with a different cartridge inside than what's advertised on the cover? I plan on getting the element of disappointment on my side."
"Ah, yes, the classic cartridge switcheroo. Getting her a shitty shovelware game disguised as an actually good title? Delightfully devious, Jackass. Which cartridge and which box?"
[input dialogue]
"Hmm... it appears that browsing this wiki doesn't seem to violate any school rules. Continue." | My Wall
Braids From S286 Not Included
"Put the cheapest garbage-ass shovelware title you have in the Cooking Mama box. At least the latter game is laughably bad so I heard... until she sees the cartridge!"
Edited by TroperNo9001 on Apr 3rd 2024 at 8:45:41 PM
"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!""Put the cheapest garbage-ass shovelware title you have in the Cooking Mama box. At least the latter game is laughably bad so I heard... until she sees the cartridge!"
Marcia pulls a copy of Cooking Mama Sweet Shop for the 3DS off the shelf and opens the case, pulling the cartridge out. In its place, she puts the cartridge for the 3DS version of Garfield Kart. She closes the case and hands it to you.
"Here you are. She'll never this coming," Marcia says, grabbing the Cooking Mama cartridge. "I'm gonna go mark this up so it can be sold as a loose copy. I'm sure the boss won't mind. Enjoy the gift, Jackass."
Marcia walks off to do her business, leaving you with a renewed spirit and a surefire way of pissing off Sabrina when she visits.
You peer over the shelves, trying to see if those two guys are still there. Sure enough, they were still going at it. You tuned in to what they were saying.
"But Peach has been around longer! She's had more time to establish herself as a character!"
"I'm sorry, what character? In what games does Princess Peach have character? The spin-off games? Maybe, but they don't matter. What does matter is that in the mainline Mario games, Peach only exists to be sit still, look pretty, and be kidnapped by Bowser. She's meek. Meanwhile, Daisy is a stronger, more independent and infinitely more autonomous character!"
"That doesn't make her hotter than Peach, though!"
"Yes, it fucking does!"
It appears they were getting into an argument over which Nintendo princess was the hottest. And they were getting really loud about it, too...
- Current Time: 10:30 AM
- Current Goals:
- Go to Mitch Fuller's house and learn his hacker ways.
- Browse the Game Hut.
- Current Inventory: Phone, Wallet, Notepad and Pen, Screwdriver, Phone Charging Cable, Protein Bar (birthday cake flavor), Rust Buckets concert ticket, The Dork of House Fyodor, The Trap, Dune (shoplifted), Wrapping paper (technically paid for?), Vicarious, Garfield Kart (in Cooking Mama Sweet Shop case)
- Funds: $22.00 (loose change), however much is left on your credit card
[input command/dialogue]
"Hmm... it appears that browsing this wiki doesn't seem to violate any school rules. Continue." | My Wall
Braids From S286 Not Included
> Brag about how much Rosalina is your waifu. She may have appeared in fewer games than them, but the fact she doesn't hog the spotlight all the time makes her better!
"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!"> Brag about how much Rosalina is your waifu. She may have appeared in fewer games than them, but the fact she doesn't hog the spotlight all the time makes her better!
"Excuse me, gentlemen. I'd like to butt in, if you don't mind."
"You got something to say?" You were familiar with this guy. Ben was a regular at this place, his teal hoodie an iconic fixture of his attire. He was a spunky young man, and a major sore loser; any time you faced off against him in a fighting game, the salt flowed like the Pacific Ocean.
"I refuse to believe that either of you would be stupid enough to genuinely believe that Peach or Daisy is the hottest Mario character when Rosalina is literally right there. Have you even checked her Rule 34 page? Come on, gentlemen, don't be crass."
"Fuck off, dude! Rosalina is mid as fuck!" Joshua was another regular at the Game Hut. Big and tall (seriously, dude towered over you), Josh was a total smartass, an indignant neckbeard who went into any argument assuming he'd come out on top — which he rarely ever did. These two fighting with each other was a recipe for disaster; ebony and ivory, exchanging gamer hostility. Fanning the flames would make this even more entertaining.
[input dialogue]
"Hmm... it appears that browsing this wiki doesn't seem to violate any school rules. Continue." | My Wall
Ashaya Argenti; Bronze Porcupine
“And what if I genuinely believe Princess Peach herself is the hottest Mario character? Gonna cry about it? Spend all night jerking it to some stupid mushroom, be my guests. Just don’t come crying to me when you have ED."
Obscure Reference: "It can sometimes knock out opponents with the shock created by breaching and crashing its big body onto the water.“And what if I genuinely believe Princess Peach herself is the hottest Mario character? Gonna cry about it? Spend all night jerking it to some stupid mushroom, be my guests. Just don’t come crying to me when you have ED."
"Listen here, shithead! Peach is not just some "stupid mushroom," she's a elegant, clever princess who can pull a punch when she needs to!"
"Yeah, but she's not strong enough to keep Bowser from kidnapping her—
"—because you bet she's secretly into it, don't you? You like Peach because she's easy. 'Cause she's a weak, wimpy, wet blanket of a woman. 'Cause you bet you could do whatever you want with her and she wouldn't be able to say no. Is that it, you creep?!?"
Josh's comment kinda took you aback. Talk about a self report.
"No, that's not it! I'm not a fucking creep!
"Yeah, that's right. And I bet Daisy ain't your type because you know she'd be able to fight back..." Ben went silent for a few seconds as Josh leered at him with a devious, strawman-weaving grin. "Bet I hit the nail right on the head, didn't I?"
Ben pointed at you. "Hey, you! Tell this neckbearded shithead that I'm not a mouth-breathing sex weirdo!"
[input dialogue]
"Hmm... it appears that browsing this wiki doesn't seem to violate any school rules. Continue." | My WallYou looked at Joshua, absolutely flabbergasted at the "accusation" he tried to lobby towards Ben. "I dunno, Josh, the fact that you think feminine chicks are weak... Kinda sounds like a self report to me."
Josh had been taken aback. You could tell that no one had the balls to call out his misogyny before. "Y'know what, fuck it! I'm changing the subject!" He also wasn't one for subtlety, either. "Which Zelda is the hottest?"
"Twilight Princess, hands down."
"And you say that knowing that Breath of the Wild Zelda exists."
"Come on, she's elegant, she's charming, and she takes her duties as a princess very seriously!"
"So does Breath of the Wild Zelda! And unlike Twilight Princess Zelda, this one has ass!"
"Like that changes anything!"
"Oh, Ben, my dearest adversary, it changes ''everything."
Now they were fighting over which version of Zelda was the hottest. There's no better time than the present to assert your superior opinion over who the sexiest Zelda is...
- Current Time: 10:31 AM
- Current Goals:
- Go to Mitch Fuller's house and learn his hacker ways.
- Browse the Game Hut.
- Current Inventory: Phone, Wallet, Notepad and Pen, Screwdriver, Phone Charging Cable, Protein Bar (birthday cake flavor), Rust Buckets concert ticket, The Dork of House Fyodor, The Trap, Dune (shoplifted), Wrapping paper (technically paid for?), Vicarious, Garfield Kart (in Cooking Mama Sweet Shop case)
- Funds: $22.00 (loose change), however much is left on your credit card
badly drawn in MS Paint
>"Zelda, isn't that the green guy with the master sword who fights Ganon?"
>"Zelda, isn't that the green guy with the master sword who fights Ganon?"
Ben and Joshua look at you in disbelief, utter refusal to take someone who had the nerve to say something that stupid seriously.
"Cap."
"Now I know you're fucking with us. You're joking, I know you are!"
[input dialogue]
"Hmm... it appears that browsing this wiki doesn't seem to violate any school rules. Continue." | My Wall
Braids From S286 Not Included
"Hahaha, just messin' with ya! I'll just say that the original Zelda, while others say that you can't beat the classics, looks mid compared to the later Zeldas, especially the Skyward Sword and Link Between Worlds versions!"
"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!""Hahaha, just messin' with ya! I'll just say that the original Zelda, while others say that you can't beat the classics, looks mid compared to the later Zeldas, especially the Skyward Sword and Link Between Worlds versions!"
Both men nodded in approval. They were picking up what you were throwing down. Here comes a chance to throw a total curveball...
[input dialogue]
"Hmm... it appears that browsing this wiki doesn't seem to violate any school rules. Continue." | My Wall
Braids From S286 Not Included
"I can totally date both of them at the same time if I can! What's this about the waifu wars when you can have more than one of the same person?!"
Edited by TroperNo9001 on Apr 10th 2024 at 7:46:06 PM
"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!""I can totally date both of them at the same time if I can! What's this about the waifu wars when you can have more than one of the same person?!"
"He's kinda valid for that."
"Yeah, if I were surrounded by a harem of Zeldas, I'd be able to die a happy man. That'd be heaven for me!"
Okay, what the fuck? These losers were actually agreeing with you. Like, unironically?!?!? This was starting to get lame. You had to say something that'd really throw them off.
[input command/dialogue]
"Hmm... it appears that browsing this wiki doesn't seem to violate any school rules. Continue." | My Wall
> After figuring that you don't really live up to your name right now, you also ask Scott about a dozen albums that don't exist, and whether or not the store has them. Those goodie-two-shoe jerks behind you will have to wait, whether they like it or not.
"Before I pay for anything, do you, uhh... have anything by The Poopshitters?
Scott looks at you like you just spoke pure alien gibberish. "...The who?
Not The Who, dumbass, The Poopshitters!! Y'know, the death metal band? C'mon, bro, I know you aren't living under a noise-cancelling rock."
"I'm... not familiar with—"
"Don't lie to yourself! You know their latest album, Slappin Cheeks, just went double platinum!"
Scott looks at you with a raised brow. "You gotta be fucking with me, right?" There's a couple standing behind you, and the two of them are snickering at your bullshit.
"C'mon, bro, you gotta have something good! Got anything by Blabbo or, like, the Wumdingers?"
"No comprende, brother."
"This... This has gotta be a joke, right? They're, like, the quintessential New Wave acts of the 80s! Now I know you're fucking with me. I refuse to believe that someone as well-versed in 80s music as you are has never heard of either of them!"
Scott chuckles, getting your joke but not really finding it all that funny. He sighs. "No, we don't carry anything by Blabbo or Whumpdumps or any of those acts."
"Bummer... I bet you have King PU$$Y Eater though. "Goop on Ya Grinch,"
you've heard that, yeah? Timeless classic." The couple behind you could hardly contain their laughter.
"Just buy your Vicarious album and get out."
"Do you accept credit?" You hand forward your credit card, which Scott rings up. "We're outta bags. Have a nice day, you gaslighty sonuvabitch."
You leave Conway Records with a self-satisfied smirk on your face. Sure, Scott sounded kinda miffed, but he always knew you were a bit of a shithead. It's why it meant so much to you that he chose to put up with your buttfuckery. Now, where to next...
[input command]
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