1000 Bad Reasons to Declare War- Fantasy Ruling Couples edition

Just thought of a fun variation to this game.

So, imagine a Ruling Couple who started out getting married to secure a peace treaty between their two feuding nations, but it all worked out quite well... for a while. Now for some reason not only is your relationship in ruins, but it's so bad that Divorce Requires Death is... not only for one of you but your respective armies as well.

So, what issue prompts the Toilet Seat Divorce from hell?

I'll start:

• 1. That new portrait you commissioned for me makes me look fat.
• 2. It's your turn to pay for the latrines to be cleaned. Why should I always do it? The Troperian taxpayer won't stand for it!
• 3. For the last time, you can't have a threesome with my lady's maid!

Edited by TheLyniezian on Dec 30th 2022 at 3:39:17 PM

• 4: Your Knight of the Stool left the toilet seat up.
• 5: You didn't get me what I asked for for Hogswatch.

Edited by dvorak on Dec 30th 2022 at 12:23:50 PM

• 6. When I said our daughter should Marry for Love, I didn't mean she could get hitched to the Scullery Maid! A commoner and a woman? And you give that your blessing? There Should Be a Law against that, but you keep vetoing it! This Means War!

Of course, I probably should have suggested she was a younger daughter or male primogeniture is in effect if she has brothers- if she was heir to the throne in a Standard Fantasy Setting, same-sex marriage likely implies no legitimate offspring coming from the union, leading to a potential succession crisis and a very good reason for war. It's meant to be funny with a little poking fun at prejudices on the side, though, so...

Edited by TheLyniezian on Jan 5th 2023 at 2:53:49 PM

• You woke me up early in the morning just so I can repair some random thing.

8. Now my magic mirror tells me your daughter - my stepdaughter - is the fairest of them all! Admit it- you adjusted it! Why can't you just tell me you don't love me to my face?

9: Now it said that there’s dragons afoot. Or is it a-wing? Anyway, all the good dragon-fighters are in the hospital due to that freak squirrel incident, and our gold is conveniently in the open! And I’m not going to try and slay it! What am I, a lion?

Edited by IC1101 on Jan 6th 2023 at 10:37:54 AM

10. If you really intend to make your horse a four-star general, there is no way I shall be fighting on the same side as you! I don't care if it's "just a political stunt"! What next? Make your pet ape the Prime Minister? Make the goldfish First Lord of the Admiralty?

Edited by TheLyniezian on Sep 19th 2023 at 10:15:25 AM

11. HOW DARE YOU FORGET MY BIRTHDAY!!!