Favorite 4chan Green Text Story?

Break up your story in paragraphs so it's readable,and space it all out!

edited 27th May '17 9:21:57 AM by Ultimatum

New theme music also a box

Done. Just needed a refresher on the formatting guidelines.

edited 27th May '17 9:23:22 AM by Mineboot45

As my favorite green text story?

Why,the adventures of Sir Bearington of course

New theme music also a box

Just found it on Google Images, it's amazing.

For those of you too lazy to look it up yourself, here it is:

> make a bear character in D&D 3.5
> DM laughs
> Make bear a rogue, put every point I can into disguise
> Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise
> DM says I can't speak english
> Max out bluff
> By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english)
> use money to hire a butler NPC
> Give him magical item to let him speak bear
"GROWWWWWL"
"An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh
> Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington
> Queen holds a dinner in my honor.
> A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise
> Shouts out loud
"HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!"
> Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity
"We're so sorry, Sir Bearington, very sorry for this man's behavior"
"ROAR" *shrug*

Erm...Looking back, I'm not sure why I chose the one about the Where's Waldo books being defaced as my favorite, but whatever. Here's a more wholesome (well, wholesome by 4chan standards; it still involves ludicrous things happening) green text story to replace it:

> working in a high end restaurant
> chef is hard ass german
> decide to fuck with him
> bartender brings up case of apple juice in cans, and leaves it in the kitchen
> snag 3 cans from the case, and crank the oven up to 500
> service starts
> it's time
> place cans of apple juice in the oven
> they start to melt and contort, leaking apple juice into the inferno of an oven
> chef walks into the kitchen
> "VAT IS ZAT HISSING"
> try to contain my laughter as kraut chef opens the oven door to see melting cans of juice
> kraut chef starts yelling "WHY IZ ZE JEWZ IN ZE OVEN, TAKE ZE JEWZ OUT OF ZE OVEN
> entire dining room can hear him
> kraut chef never found out it was me

edited 27th May '17 5:49:41 PM by Mineboot45

Colorado firearms instructor. Funny AND heartwarming.

"what the complete, unabridged, 4k ultra HD fuck with bonus features" - Mark Von Lewis

Are you fucking sorry◊?

Nothing else comes close.

I have disagreed with her a lot, but comparing her to republicans and propagandists of dictatorships is really low. - An idiot

I can't find it anymore, but I'll summarize:

A guy's parents got a divorce, and he lived with his mother, but his dad would visit sometimes and he'd bring him a videogame everytime - different games, some would be action, some would be puzzle, or rpg, or what have you. Not just mainstream games, but some obscure gems as well. The guy asked his dad if he liked video games too - because he always found so many good ones, in so many genres - and his dad said he wasn't into video games that much, he just had a knack for finding the games.

Years later, the guy's father dies, and he goes to his dad's house to clean up, and he finds something in the closet: piles and piles of old video game magazines. They were covered in notes, like "he said he wanted an action game", or "this one was highest rated this year", or something else. Years of various magazines, full of his dad's writing, trying to find good games.

You can start crying now.

The Anon Works IT saga. I need an illustrated adaptation more than anything.

From the cherry, to the apple, to the peach, to the plum

One of my favorites is probably too vulgar to show here, but the Mr. Bearington one above is now my new favorite.

"Humans and robots living together in harmony and equality. That was my ultimate wish."

I'm pretty sure it's in green text, but it doesn't follow the arrow formula - but one of my favorite stories ever has to be The Legend of Edgardo. Basic summary: dude joins an RP forum because he's into that sort of thing, and he joins a game that has this mana system. He pisses off one of those annoying, highly controlling players who have a meltdown every time they're disrespected - this guy having the mods tied around his little finger.

OP made his character a bare-handed fighter, which is incredibly weak and not at all viable because they earn mana at an incredibly sluggish rate compared to every other class - in a fight involving mana, a bare-handed fighter would get creamed. But every other class has a mana cap - they can only earn so much mana to use, then they have to wait for it to recharge.

Bare-handed fighters, while being the most inviable class for mana, don't have a mana cap. Which means if OP can find a source of mana that refills his meter to maximum, he effectively has infinite mana. He also has a move where he can use all the mana that he's saved up in one massive attack - which means he can pull off an infinite mana Megaton Punch that can smite anything in the game.

It's an amazing read - google "the Legend of Edgardo".

EDIT: It's actually "The Ballad of Edgardo", and it has its own trope page

edited 19th Jun '18 6:31:52 PM by MrMallard

Also, double-posting to avoid crowding the first post - here's one I found recently that just really got me for some stupid reason:

[[indent:1: >"hey eggboy, we need more eggs".]]

Pic related (the picture being of four large frying pans with like 5 or 6 different eggs cooking per pan)

edited 19th Jun '18 6:23:29 PM by MrMallard