Superhero Concept -- How good are these names?

i admit that made me chuckle.

Lol, thanks. I like my older characters to be snarky about the "feeble old-man/woman" stereotype.

I wanted to begin with something action packed. However, my third chapter does contain development of the characters and surroundings, and interactions, as you're looking for. It revolves around Betsy "Houdini" Carmichael, as The Syndicate do a bank robbery. However, when they discriminate on her for being a woman one last time, things get a little tricky. It's my favorite chapter of the ones I've written so far. You should check it out and tell me what you think because I think it's a lot like what you were describing.

I'm skimming the second chapter (it's 11PM, so I'll read it more closely tomorrow). Also, just because you want to start with action doesn't mean you can't at least sprinkle characterization in with it.

By the way, since I've been working on my own script today, I realized that you're basically writing stage directions a lot, which is probably why you don't describe what many things actually look like. You give us a place and a time of day, and that's it.

Tealdeer across the whole story: Show, Don't Tell.

Even stage directions have to show the actors and set-designer SOMETHING within the actual location, to paint a picture in everyone's heads. "Gwawe, Africa" gives me no information besides "it's probably warm/hot" and "most people are gonna be black." "New York City" gives me a vague image of skyscrapers, Broadway, and the Empire State Building, but that's useless when someone's waking up in their apartment with a call from their mom.

That's "telling," and there's a LOT of ways you can show the degrees of "American vs. English" in her accent. Example:

Please don't think I'm ragging on you by picking out so much stuff. You did say you just started PUBLISHING your stuff, and in general I'd say your story's "decent but needs work."

New York's not a twang, really. More of a rasp or (depending on which borough you're from) a honk. Or a crackle.

edited 19th Dec '16 8:06:16 AM by Robbery

I knew that wasn't the right word. :/ I was looking at the video in the "American Accent" article, but my word skills weren't too good at 11:30.

I'll be reading the second chapter more closely in the evening.

I know it's probably too late for this, but I recently found this discussion. I think that B. Hood is not the best name. I think Blood Hood, or red riding hood would be better. I think if you stay with B. Hood, people will wonder about what the B stands for. Sorry, if it's already in the text, I haven't had time to read it.

The code name they gave her was Blood Hood, but she immediately shortened it to B. Hood because she thought it sounded cuter. Given how she's a Psychopathic Womanchild, it makes sense for her to act that way. The meta reason is that B. Hood rolls of the tongue better than Blood Hood, in my opinion.

Bringing this back up because I've got more ideas, if you guys are still interested.

Heroes

• The Catalyst / Joseph Ekua — A British man of African descent, he is a member of the Protectors who operates in the London branch, where he was born-and-raised. The 30-year-old has always been known for being The Ace, being an agile fighter as well as a highly skilled marksman. He got his name due to his way of changing the course of an event by participating. Though he has no powers, he uses a prototype super suit that was developed to aid the best England had to offer, and has many useful gadget that makes him a force to be reckoned with. Currently, he's spearheading operations against The Syndicate, who've quickly risen in power since the Rebirth and pose a serious threat to the people of England. Outside of that, he's currently dating a fellow Protector, Switch.

Villains

• Siren / Julia Lin Vincitori — Age 19, she was born to Vincenzo Vincitori, the head of the Vincitori crime family (the most powerful mafia family in the world), and Chunhua Li, a Chinese mistress in New York. She was The Un-Favourite growing up because the family despised her for her "unpure" blood, as these families value pure Italian ancestry above all else. However, Vincenzo saw uses in her, and had her extensively trained in the art of assassination, becoming an extremely dangerous Tyke-Bomb in the process. Eventually, the family formed a strategic alliance with Mist, and as part of the deal they agreed to let Dr. Wilson experiment on her to turn her into an even more effective weapon. Now possessing the powers of invisibility and forcefields, as well as the ability to sense body heat. Combine that with dangerous proficiency with throwing knives and crossbows, and she is someone now to be underestimated. Now she works as the top assassin of the crime family, and a member of Mist, feeling little emotion except the pride in the work. However, she hopes that one day, she'll do her father proud enough to earn his approval and say the three words he's never said before: "I love you". Too bad he has no intention of ever saying that to her.

Hm, I've got a tentative superhero/supervillain name for a character of mine.

His name's Evan, and he has a pretty interesting yet powerful ability: the ability to create any form of flying machine (drone, helicopter, airplane, blimp, hot air balloon, rockets/missiles) out of thin air, and have a "control station" like consciousness in his mind to control them. The machines contain objects and resources needed for their function (water, coolant, oil, electricity, etc) and weaponry, if available. Said machines are temporary, often disappearing after 5-10 minutes unless he sustains their existence by exerting mental strength. When they disappear, all "resources" that came with them (bomb casings, water, fuel, etc) will disappear.

In order to be able to create a flying machine, Evan needs to know the specifics of one. He does this by either seeing their full schematics right down to the engines and such, or making contact with a flight-capable machine for a few seconds to minutes.

Weaknesses: At the end of the day, he's still human, knocking him out or killing him is easy to do and will cause all his aircraft to disappear. Furthermore, he absolutely sucks in a direct confrontational fight, and will often surrender if that happens.

For his superhero/supervillain names, I'm thinking of either The Aviator or The Aeronaut. The former being a person who flies planes, the latter named after the study of aeronautics aka aircraft design. Which would be better, though?

edited 12th Feb '17 7:08:37 AM by ironcommando

Invisibility and forcefields, senses body heat, secializes in throwing knives and crossbows, is an assassin.

None of which come to mind with the name of Siren. One would figure a Siren would have sound-related powers, such as entrancing people with songs like the sirens from Greek mythology. I thought of the Sirens from Borderlands as well, but it doesn't quite fit either.

Interesting that someone with invisibility and forcefields is a ruthless assassin, instead of a pacifist like Invisible Woman from the Fantastic Four. What does an assassin do with forcefields?

I'm afraid I don't have a name suggestion for her.

How about forming force fields within the human body and expanding it? Or creating one around their head so they would use up their air and suffocate? You just have to think outside the box.